#bonexreader

"You got a little bit of drool..." Leonard pointed to a place on his mouth and you immediately began wiping at that area on yours.  

Your eyes widened at the thought of drooling on him and you dropped your head into your hands, hearing Leonard's quiet laughter.  

"I'm sorry..." You groaned into your hands, "You stayed here for 7 hours?  Not moving?  You could have woken me up and told me to go back to my room, I didn't mean to keep you here..." You rambled, looking up at Leonard desperately. 

Leonard chuckled at your frantic rambling and set his book down on the side table and removed his reading glasses.  

"It's alright, darlin', you looked real peaceful and I didn't want to wake you up."

"But you probably haven't moved in hours, I am so sorry, Len." You shook your head but couldn't suppress a small smile as you thought of his kindness towards you. 

"Hey, it's alright, alright?" He insisted and threw his legs over the side of the bed to get up and you watched him stretch his stiff joints.  

"Ohhh man... you are walking like an old man because of me!" You threw on a sweater that was lying on the bed and dashed to his side.

Leonard just chuckled and shook his head, "I walk like an old man anyways, now lets get some coffee in us, we do have an exam today."

The reminder sent dread through your veins and you walked with him to the small kitchenette in his quarters, "UGH!  I forgot about that!  And you didn't get any sleep with me stuck to your leg, did you?  I feel so bad."

"Stop apologizing." Leonard chided softly and reached for the coffee maker. 

You took it from him, "Let me do that, it's the least I can do."

He rolled his eyes and leaned back against the counter in resignation, his arms crossed over his chest as he watched you.  You felt the heat of his gaze on your disheveled appearance, a baggy Academy sweater on top of short pyjama shorts, your hair probably sticking up like crazy due to your awkward sleeping position. 

You never really thought anything of your relationship with Leonard (well that's not true, you thought about it all the time) but you never thought anything would come of it.  You'd hinted at it a couple times, but he didn't seem to be responsive and you were too shy and afraid to lose him as a friend to make a move.  But the heat of his intense gaze made you think differently and you wondered whether sharing a bed had changed his feelings for you. 

You fumbled with the coffee machine, and when you finally pressed the start button, you let out a breath you didn't realize you'd been holding. You turned to Leonard, whose eyes were sparkling with amusement. 

"What?" You snapped, crossing your arms over your chest. 

"Nothing!" He defended, but the corners of his mouth turned up, "It's just that... that sweater you're wearing, it's mine."

Your eyes widened in shock and your mouth fell open as you dropped your crossed arms and looked down at the sweater you had hastily put on.  It was, in fact, Leonard's.  You groaned, squeezing your eyes shut in self-defeat, as you heard Leonard chuckle.  He reached over you and opened the cabinet above your head, retrieving two mugs off the shelf, and set them on the counter. 

"I'm sorry!" You sighed and quickly pulled at the hem of the sweater to tug it over your head.  

"You can wear it, it's fine!" Leonard insisted as he watching you amusingly. 

But you continued to pull off the sweater and in your frantic attempt to remove it you got it stuck on your elbows and you couldn't pull it any farther over your head.   You stopped and sighed in resignation, the sweater half off your body, and you were stuck with it tangled in your arms and covering your face. 

Leonard laughed heartily now and you tried to kick him in the shins, and you would have fallen over if not for his steadying hands on your waist. 

"Help me...." You whimpered softly and soon his fingers hooked on the bottom of the sweater and pulled it the rest of the way off. 

You dropped your hands to your side and looked up at Leonard, who gave you a sly grin, your cheeks heating at his sudden closeness as he dropped the sweater onto the counter next to you. 

"Sorry..." You repeated, pursing your lips and rubbing your elbow with your opposite hand. 

"If you don't stop apologizing I am going to make you stop." Leonard chided. 

You tilted your chin up to look him in the eye, trying to stay as confident as possible without melting at his closeness, "and how are you going to do that?." 

"I have my ways." He smiled mischievously and winked at you.

You smiled and looked away, so overwhelmed by your longing for him that you didn't trust yourself too look him in the eye lest he see your affection for him written across your face. 

You walked over to the small fridge and retrieved a carton of milk and a carton of cream, as you knew he preferred cream, and you preferred milk.  As you set the cartons down your shaky hands tipped the milk carton over on the counter and it tipped over to the side, the unsealed top leaking a little bit of milk onto the counter.  You swore and quickly snatched up the tipped carton.  Leonard had reached and grabbed a towel and set it on the small white puddle.  You must have had your face scrunched up in concern because Leonard stepped towards you, and you flicked your gaze up to him. 

"No use crying over spilt milk." Leonard grinned. 

"I'm sorry." You sighed and looked away, wringing your hands together.

Suddenly his fingers were under your chin, turning your face to his and you stared into his hazel eyes.  You heart rate increased as his hand moved from your chin to cup your cheek and you stood there frozen, not knowing what to do with your hands so you kept them in tight balls at your side. 

"Will you stop that?" Leonard smiled gently but you could tell he was feeling the impact of your closeness, his breathing quickening, his pupils dilating and his hand on your cheek had a slight shake to it.  

"I'm sor..." You started, barely parting your lips to speak when his lips brushed against yours, more like a question than a kiss.

When you didn't respond he pulled back a few inches and looked into your eyes questioningly. The electricity of the gentle kiss made you long for more and you brought your hands to his sides, feeling the warmth of his body through his t-shirt.   You stared down at his chest momentarily, distracted by the fact that you were actually touching him like this, like you had wanted to for so long, and when you brought your eyes back to his, you were almost destroyed by the look of longing on his face. 

You tilted your head up and met his open mouth with yours, pulling him closer by your grip on his sides.  He brought his hands to the back of your neck, drawing you in to deepen the kiss.  After several heated moments, he moved his lips from your mouth to your jaw, trailing kisses down your neck and you moaned in response.  You brought his head up with your hands, returning his lips to yours and lavishing him with a passionate kiss.  He pressed you back against the counter, his fingers now digging into your hips, and as you attempted to moved your hands from his waist to under his t-shirt, your elbow hit one of the mugs that Leonard had set out on the counter for the coffee, knocking it the ground with a smash.  

The loud sound startled you from the heat of the moment and you lifted one of your feet to avoid the sharp shards.  Leonard pulled you deeper into the kitchenette, away from the broken mug, his hands never leaving your hips and you looked at the shards of mug scattered across the floor.  

You lifted your head to look up at him apologetically and opened your mouth to speak but his lips collided with yours, interrupting your thoughts. 

"Don't even start." Leonard warned against your lips before moving to press gentle kisses along your jawline.

You didn't hesitate this time and slid your hands under his shirt to pull him closer. He looked down at you and raised an eyebrow before you nudged his lips with yours with a smile.  He obliged and raised his arms over his head, and you quickly disposed of his shirt on the ground with the shards of ceramic before running your fingers down his muscular chest.  He gave you a mischievous smile and grabbed you by the waist, lifting you up so you sat on the counter, and you flashed him a smile as he stood between your legs and leaned in close.  You dove into another passionate kiss, your legs wrapped around his torso, pulling him closer, the broken shards of the mug, spilled milk and silenced apologies soon forgotten. 

"I can't sleep." You spat out quickly before you could hiccup. 

"Alright then, let's check you out." Bones took you by your elbow into the medbay and sat you down on an exam table.  

He examined the inside of your throat, asked you a bunch of questions, and listened to your lungs. 

"Well I can't see anything immediately wrong but I can give you something to help you sleep and hopefully the hiccups will be gone tomorrow." Bones shrugged as he put his equipment away. 

You were disappointed with the outcome, but you agreed with him, maybe it was just the hiccups.  So you took the sleep-aid and slunked home.  

The sleep-aid knocked you out for a few hours, but you were awoken by a nasty bout of cough-hiccuping, your throat feeling sore and tingly when you could finally breathe again.  

You knew you should probably go back and see Bones, but you didn't want to bother him again after you had just visited him.  So you decided to stick it out and got ready for work.  

Throughout the day your throat kept feeling weirder and weirder, like every time you hiccuped your throat would rumble, as if in a hum.  You worked on the bridge as a navigation technician, and thankfully your job didn't involve too much talking.  Over time the hiccups began to fade, but it left your throat feeling swollen and sore, and your voice began to become raspy. 

Unfortunately your vow of silence didn't last long as you heard Captain Kirk talking to Scotty about sending Ensign Chekov down to the engineering room to help, and you knew you were his replacement. 

"Lieutenant Y/N, will you replace Mr. Chekov for a while so he can go help Scotty in the engineering room?" Kirk asked, and you pressed your eyes shut in frustration before getting up from your seat and taking Chekov's.  

Now suddenly every breath you took felt and sounded like a hum, and you were very self-conscious about other people hearing.  

"Lieutenant Y/N, what are our coordinates?" Kirk asked and you checked the screen in front of you. 

"500 mark 3, captain." You squeaked, your voice barely audible as you wheezed.  

You felt Pilot Sulu's eyes flick to you in confusion and you could tell Captain Kirk was staring at the back of your head. 

"Are you alright, Lieutenant?" Kirk asked. 

You cleared your throat, which sounded more like a trill, and responded, "Yes."

You immediately slapped your hands over your mouth.  The word had come out of your mouth as if you had sung it, one melodic tone of 'yes'. 

Sulu turned his head to look at you now, amusement sparkling in his eyes.  

"I'm sorry, Lieutenant, what was that?" Kirk asked again and your cheeks burned in embarrassment. 

You gulped, the action stinging your throat, and you removed your hands from your mouth tentatively.  

"I'm fine." The syllables flew out of your mouth in a high tune, and now the entire bridge swiveled their chairs to look at you.  

You heard Kirk get up from his captain's chair and walk over to you.  When he stopped in front of your console, resting his arms on top of it, he spoke, "Are you singing?"

You shook your head, "I'm not trying to, sir." You sung unintentionally, and you looked up at him desperately.  

Kirk regarded you with a straight face for a moment, before bursting into laughter.  Your eyes widened at his mocking, and slightly unprofessional, behaviour and your head fell into your hands.  

"No keep talking... I mean singing... hahaha!" Kirk sputtered. 

You shook your head furiously, pressing your fingers over your mouth lest words begin to escape.  

"OH come on, Y/N, sing it to me!!" Kirk encouraged and you couldn't help but roll your eyes at his beaming face and toothy grin. 

"Fine!" You sang, and cleared your throat painfully before continuing, "I don't know why you find this so funny, Captain, there is something wrong with my voice."

The words came out as if you were singing along to inaudible music, the syllables flowing from your mouth at different speeds and different pitches to match the tune.  

Kirk began to roar in laughter again, and you heard scattered chuckles around the bridge.  Now you began to laugh as well, your laughter high and tinkling due to whatever was wrong with your throat, which made you and the crew laugh even harder.  

You didn't even see Kirk on his com until you heard the words, "Bones, you have to come down and see this."

"NO, Captain Kirk, I can go down to the medbay." You trilled and rose from your chair. 

"No way, Lieutenant, you are staying here, this is too damn funny."

You crossed your arms and sat back down in your chair, hard, sulking and pouting at the Captain.  

Sooner than you would have liked Bones came through the lift doors, a black med-kit in his hand.  Kirk greeted him by patting him on the shoulder and saying a few words to him, both their eyes flicking to you.  Your cheeks flamed again and you sat low in your chair, wishing you could disappear.  Bones didn't smile, just looked at you curiously, and Kirk was jumping around like a kid who had too much sugar and he came over and smacked the console in front of you with two hands.

"Sing, Lieutenant, SING!" He demanded cheerfully and you wanted to punch him.

You turned your attention to Bones who looked confused and annoyed as he set his med-kit down by Kirk's chair and stood to your right, his arms crossed, looking impatient.

You took a deep breath in and opened your mouth, silently praying that your voice had returned to normal.  It hadn't.

"Hello there, Bones." You sung, and almost laughed when he raised his eyebrows in bewilderment. 

"What in the..." Bones began but you interrupted, getting out of your chair. 

"I think it has something to do with the hiccups." Your voice was high and soft as you tried to explain.  It pissed you off. 

"Is this some sort of joke?" Bones' brows furrowed and he looked at you and Jim suspiciously. 

"I wish it was." You sang and crossed your arms over your chest. 

Bones turned to Jim, giving him a glare, “Why didn't call me earlier?"

"Awww, come on, Bones, it's funny!" Kirk slapped Bones on the shoulder with a grin.  Bones didn't return the smile. 

"This could be a medical emergency, she could be infected with something..." Bones began, his mind quickly turning to doctor mode as he stalked to his med-kit and pulled out his tricorder. 

"I feel okay..." You tried to reassure the doctor, but when you said "okay" your voice decided to hit a high note and you had to clasp your hand over your mouth to cut it off. 

Bones glared at Kirk who had begun to laugh harder, now doubled over.  

Bones stalked over to you and grabbed you by your elbow, not too gently either, and tugged you in the direction of the turbo-lift.  He mumbled something about getting you to the medbay and "damn it Jim" and the last thing you heard before the lift doors closed behind you was Kirk whining at Bones for taking you away. 

He scanned his tricorder over you in the lift and you just stood there awkwardly, unsure of what to say, or, you guess, sing.  Thankfully he didn't ask you any questions until you got back to the medbay and he sat you down on an exam bed.

"Tell me, Y/N, what are your symptoms." He questioned gruffly, looking down at his PADD rather than at you. 

"Umm... well let's see, I had terrible hiccups, my throat started to really hurt, and, I don't know, now I SING EVERYTHING I SAY!" You responded, your voice never hitting a wrong note, and though you meant to sound angry, it came out as more of a loud melody.  

Bones' lips wavered as if he was suppressing a smile, before frowning deeply, his eyes still on the PADD. 

"Did you eat anything funny, or go anywhere unusual?" 

"Well I just got back from that away mission lead by Spock, maybe I picked something up there?" You serenaded, and his eyes finally met yours, sparkling with amusement. 

"You do have a nice voice." He noted and couldn't hide a cute grin. 

"Shut up. Just fix me." You scolded with two high notes.  

"Now don't go getting all your ballads in a bunch." He was smiling now, pretty much beaming at you, and you couldn't help but smile back.  

"I'm going to killll you!" You threatened.

 "If you do, darlin', there will be no one left to cure you, you will be stuck singing everything.  Forever." Bones teased and tapped the end of the hypo he had just prepared off your chin.  

"That might not be so bad..." You imagined as you sang, Bones applying the hypo to your neck. 

"That feel any better?" He asked, stepping back, but his hand was still rested on your shoulder. 

You cleared your throat, "Testing 1...2... damn!"  You swore as your voice continued to rise and fall to a silent song. 

Bones laughed now, and you couldn't help but smile up at him. 

"Don't worry, darlin', we'll get to the bottom of this, even if it tuns out you need an 'opera'-ation." 

This was going to be a long night. 

Jim laughed and though you couldn't see his face you could tell Leonard was smiling as well. 

"So how is my favourite not-quite-good-enough-to-be-assigned-to-the-bridge-language-specialist?" Jim teased, his crystal blue eyes sparkling.  

You punched him playfully in the arm and he recoiled with a shout. 

"I'm doing great, you asshole."  You responded snarkily. 

It was true, though. You were assigned to the Enterprise to be a secondary language specialist working under Uhura, but your office was down the hall.  And Jim never let you forget it. 

"How's my captain-who's-blown-up-the-enterprise-on-more-than-one-occasion doing on this fine evening?" You taunted.  

"How dare you!" Kirk yelled in mock anger. 

You began to laugh but were cut off when Jim swiveled his chair towards you and sharply hit your knee with the arm of his chair. 

Under normal circumstances the blow would have made you stumble a little and maybe left a little bruise, but when the sharp edge of the chair hit your knee you dropped to the ground in excruciating pain. 

"Y/N?! Are you alright?" Kirk sounded concerned as he jumped out of his chair and knelt beside you.  

Pain exploded in your knee and you groaned, clutching your knee and fighting tears that sprung up in your eyes. 

"I... I.... OW!" You could barely speak between gasps of breath and yelped when Jim laid his hand on your knee concerningly. 

"Bones!" Jim yelled, but the doctor was already kneeling down beside you, med kit in hand.  

Jim stood up and went back to his chair, so as not to be in the way, but kept the chair swiveled towards you. 

"Alright, let me take a look." Leonard said as he reached for your legging-covered knee.  

You yelped in pain as even fingers as gentle as his sent rivulets of pain through your knee. 

"Ouch.  Sounds pretty bad.  Can I pull up your legging to take a look?" Leonard inquired, his fingers already pulling on the stretchy material. 

You reached down and stopped his hands with yours.  Leonard froze and looked up at you quizzically, your hands still resting on his.  

"Can we go back to the medbay first?" You whispered, not quite meeting Leonard's eyes.  

Leonard hesitated, either waiting for an explanation or wanting to keep your hands connected as long as possible. 

"Of course, darlin'." Leonard whispered back, finally removing his hands from underneath yours. 

"Can you walk?" He asked as he slid the med kit back into the compartment he had retrieved it from. 

Just the thought of walking made you cringe and want to vomit so you shook your head. 

"Guess we're going to have to do this the ol' fashioned way, then." Leonard suggested and suddenly his arms were sliding around your back and under your knees (carefully, of course), and you were lifted off the ground.  

You didn't even have time to react before you were swept off the bridge and into the lift.  Leonard didn't speak and neither did you as you made your way to the medbay, mostly because you were too busy trying to suppress groans of pain from every movement Leonard made as he walked.    You pressed your faces into his chest and squeezed your eyes shut, trying to ignore the pain. 

Arriving at the medbay you were pleased to see it wasn't very busy, only a few nurses milling around  and two patients lying on the hover-beds.  

Leonard took you into a room that was far from the nurses' station and pretty secluded.  As he set you down on the bed a few tears fell from your eyes and you wiped at them quickly.  

Leonard still didn't say anything but instead quickly spun around and closed the door to the room. He turned back to you and paused, his brow furrowed and his mouth slightly open as if he wanted to say something.  

Another wave of pain took over your knee and you whimpered unintentionally.  

Leonard strode over and pulled a pair of small silver scissors from a drawer beside the bed.  He looked at you, inquiring as to if it were okay to start cutting 

You nodded meekly.  

As he slid the scissors up the front of your leggings you dreaded his reaction to your injury.  The fabric fell away quickly with a few more skilled slices with the scissors and revealed your injury.   

Your entire knee swollen and a sickly blue-black colour, especially right above your knee-cap.  

You heard Leonard's sharp intake of breath and felt his intense, accusing gaze scan your face.  But you wouldn't meet his eyes.  Couldn't meet them.  

You felt a lump in your throat that indicated impending tears and you willed it to go away. 

"Y/N, what happened?"  Leonard questioned, his voice sounding like a mixture of disappointment, shock and concern.

"I fell." You responded as convincingly as you could, but you knew you weren't a very good liar and Leonard could read right through you.

"Y/N." Leonard chastised and you hoped he would reach for a medication for the throbbing pain but he just stood there, his arms crossed, staring at you.

The way he was looking down at you made you feel like a small child and anger rose up in your throat unintentionally.  You hated when anyone made you feel small and you suppressed your desire to burst into tears and punch Leonard across the jaw.  You stayed quiet, shaking with fury and bunching the linens on the bed with your white-knuckled fists.    

You finally gave in after a minute of excruciating silence. 

"Fine.  I went to the bar last week, got uncontrollably drunk and smashed my knee on a table trying to fight this annoying dude." You snapped, much more anger in your voice than you intended.  

Leonard's brows furrowed as he finally turned to start preparing some medication.  

"And you walked on it for a whole week?  Wasn't that painful?" Leonard questioned, opening a jar of salve that he was going to use on your knee. 

"Yes but I used my wonderful powers of acting and perseverance to hide the fact that I was in pain.  Nobody could even tell." You shrugged, trying to pass it off as nothing, but you knew it wasn't nothing. 

"You can be so god-damn stubborn sometimes." Leonard muttered, and you felt your cheeks inadvertently burn with embarrassment, "you should have come to me."

Leonard applied the salve gently to your knee and you flinched in response to the sudden brief pain as well as his warm fingertips.  You met Leonard's eyes for a brief second and your heart leapt at the concern that was in his eyes. 

"I know.  I did a dumb thing.  I should have come to you after it happened.  Blah, blah, blah medical stuff, I know." You snapped and pouted, tears pressing at your eyes again. 

You knew you were acting like a child but for some reason you couldn't stop it. 

"How did you get in the fight?" Leonard asked, preparing a hypo. 

You had to curse yourself as a tingle spread down your spine when his fingers splayed across your neck for a moment as he applied the hypo. 

"Some dude wasn't leaving this girl alone.  So I intervened." You explained, suddenly feeling exhausted and rubbing your eyes with both hands, "he was being a real douche-nozzle too."

"Did you punch him in the right jaw by any chance?" Leonard questioned randomly, looking down at you, and you looked up at him quizzically, dropping your hands back to the bed.  

"Yeah, actually, and I got a good kick to his gut as well," you squinted your eyes, "how did you know that?" 

Leonard huffed out a laugh and shook his head as if something amusing had just happened before he explained, "he came into the medbay last week for his injuries.  Told everyone he got into a bar fight and that 'you should have seen the other guy."

You were speechless.  What an idiot!  You were suddenly very glad you had gotten the better of him. 

"I'm glad that you got the upper hand, though." Leonard laughed at the incredulous look that was on your face and a laugh escaped you as well.  

Leonard's eyes gleamed and he seemed proud that he had made you smile.  He worked in silence for a minute before saying, "But it was pretty dangerous, Y/N."

Heat flooded through your veins again and you wished he had just left the matter alone.  

"I know, stupid me, protecting some innocent girl from a disgusting guy, real dumb." You snapped again, your anger flaring up and you glared up at Leonard darkly.

When he didn't respond you crossed your arms in front of your chest, as if protesting the silence that ensued.  For several minutes you just listened to the sounds of Leonard putting his equipment away.  You sat there, fuming from embarrassment at telling your story, but thankful as the pain and some of the swelling subsided from your knee.  

When Leonard finished up putting the equipment away he turned slowly and sat on the edge of the bed, twisting so he faced you. 

"I don't think you're stupid." Leonard whispered, trying desperately to meet your eyes, his hand finding and gently resting on your ankle.

The words echoed in your head and you knew he was being sincere, but you were still irritated from the recent events so instead of thanking him you snapped, "yes you do!"

Leonard looked taken aback and he removed his hand from your ankle, making you instantly regret your words. 

You suddenly felt very vulnerable, lying there in front of him, so you swung your legs over the bed, hopping off on the opposite side from Leonard.  Pain shot through your knee, dull compared to the pain before, but you had to steady yourself on the rail of the bed for a moment.  You limped towards the door but didn't get far before a hand wrapped around your wrist and spun you around. 

"Stop, Y/N!" Leonard said gruffly, and anger was now evident in tone, "what did I say?  How the hell do you get so mad so fast?"

Leonard didn't drop your wrist and you stood there, shifting your weight to your good leg.  You didn't know why you were so quick to react to everything all the time.  You were never good dealing with your own feelings and you usually turned to anger and lashed out when you were confused or conflicted about them.  It was like a protective mechanism that switched on and off like a light-switch.  Now was no different.  You pulled your wrist from his grasp roughly. 

"You know why I didn't come and tell you right away?  Because I didn't want you to think I was an idiot.  It was a stupid thing to do and I just couldn't bear to tell you.   I try so hard to get you to like me, but you are so blind!  When I am with you I feel stupid, like I can't control myself.  It's so damn frustrating because I want to be around you, but I feel so dumb every single time.  Like I can't get it right." You exploded at Leonard, not in control of your words, "I am not stupid and it's just infuriating how you think that I am less than I am.  Because I am not less.  I am more.  "  You paused, your tongue freezing and you were confused at your own words.  

Leonard didn't say anything either, just stared at you with a blank expression.  "Where was I going with that?" You blurted, racking your brain for the purpose of your rant, your hands fidgeting with the hem of your uniform. 

"I don't know where you were going with that but I hope it was somewhere like this." Suddenly Leonard was standing close in front of you and you lifted your head to look up at him just in time for his lips to crash onto yours and his arms to wrap tightly around your waist.  Shock kept you from responding or reciprocating the sudden embrace.  Leonard felt your lack of movement and pulled back a few inches, his hands not leaving your waist, forehead resting on yours.  Finally your hands obeyed your command and fell to rest on his shoulders, fingers shaking as you rested them on the fabric of his shirt. 

"I couldn't think more of you if I tried, darlin'." His voice was gruff and his breath was hot on your mouth,"I think you are worth more than all the stars in the galaxy, I am sorry if it seemed I thought less."

You brought your hands to his neck and suddenly you understood why you acted the way you did.  Being around Leonard brought the worst out of you because you have feelings for him and your automatic defense system was to hide those beneath a layer of anger and stubbornness. 

You smiled at your understanding and Leonard smiled back.  For once you let all these feelings and emotions settle on you and you pressed your body closer to his without fear. 

You licked your lips and met his eyes, near centimeters from your own.  A single tear inadvertently slipped down your cheek and you felt him pull back and release one hand from your waist so he could wipe the tear away but before he could you pulled him forward and pressed your lips to his again, your heart surging with emotion.  

He wrapped his arms around you tightly and you responded by digging your fingers into his hair, your chest pressed flush against his.  A moan escaped from your mouth as he moved his lips from yours and trailed kisses down your jaw, before returning to your mouth.  His body was heavy against yours and a sudden pang of pain from your knee shocked you out of the heat of the moment and you pulled back a few inches, raising your knee so no weight was on it.  

Leonard instantly responded by scooping you up like he had when he carried you to the medbay, like a bride, and cradled you against his chest.  You reached a hand up and guided his face to yours and your lips met again, this time much less urgent and much more gentle.  You stroked his cheek as he kissed you deeper now and you lavished in the feeling of his hands on your bare leg and back.  

He walked over and settled you on the bed, never leaving more than an inch of space between you, and he leaned over to kiss you again, his hands cupping your head and bringing your face towards his. When you were only a breath apart you heard a laugh that didn't belong to either of you.  Leonard sprung off you and you both swung your heads towards the door. 

Jim had somehow entered the room without either of you noticing and now was grinning by the door, a look of triumph on his face. 

You and Leonard looked at him dumbfounded and Jim laughed again.

"I was going to make a joke about patient-doctor privileges, but the looks on your faces is enough for me." Jim laughed heartily, but a gleam in his eyes showed that he was proud and happy for the two of you.

You looked over to Leonard and he looked back at you.  You couldn't stop a laugh from escaping you as well at the look of Leonard's face,  his lips red and puffy and his hair sticking up at weird angles as a result of your fingers that had run through it.  The expression on his face looked like he had just awoken from an excellent dream and was trying to adjust to reality.  You thought you must look the same, if not worse, and your face fell into your hands in embarrassment.  

All three of you laughed and you felt Leonard's hand reach for yours, his fingers brushing your cheek as you entwined your fingers with his and pressed a few soft kisses onto his knuckles.  

You looked up to him fondly and smiled, your heart full of emotion, and this time you didn't feel any of the anger or frustration you usually did.  

"Well I am going to give the two of you some privacy and a piece of sound advice."  Jim’s voice cut through your thoughts and you saw Leonard roll his eyes before you turned your attention to Jim.

"Lock the door next time."

"Shhhh... darlin'," Leonard whispered soothingly against the top of your head, "its going to be alright, you're safe now."

His hand on your back now moved up and down, spreading warmth and sending tingles down your spine.  

After a while you felt like you could breathe again and you pulled away gently, but he didn't let you out of his reach, one of his hands resting on your shoulder, his thumb stroking your jawline. 

As the adrenaline wore off your arm began to sting more and your jaw and thighs ached.  Leonard's eyes surveyed you and his thumb moved to press against your chin, moving your head back and forward gently so he could see the damage.  

"We should get you down to the medbay and get you cleaned up." He whispered, and you could tell his brain switched into doctor mode, working on which treatments you needed.  He stepped towards you, as if heading to the door and you raised two shaky hands to his chest.  He stopped instantly and looked down at your hands.

"I can't go back out there." You said weakly, your voice raspy and shaky.  

You didn't meet his eyes, but stared straight ahead at where your small, thin fingers rested on his chest, the cloth of his pyjama top thin enough for you to feel the warmth emanating from his body.  

"Okay." Leonard whispered, his hands wrapping around your wrists gently, "I have a med kit in here we can use."

"Thank you." You rasped, finally looking up into his eyes, which were big and concerned and kind.  

He pulled you by your wrists over to the kitchen and helped you sit down on one of the stools.  He opened a cupboard and pulled out a big black bag and set it on the counter.  

"So what happened?" He asked as he pulled supplies from the bag.  

Before you could respond the sudden sound of loud, booming footsteps coming from the hallway filled your ears and shredded the feeling of safety you had developed from being in Leonard’s apartment.  You gasped and flinched, throwing your hands up to cover your ears and nearly toppling off the stool.  Leonard laid his hands on either side of your shoulders to steady you, and kept them there until the footsteps subsided. 

"Whoever did this, I'm going to kill them."  He stated gruffly and you looked up to his face contorted in anger as he glared at the door. 

His sincerity made you huff out a laugh, which brought Leonard's eyes away from the door and back to your face.  He smiled at you gently and you managed a half a smile back.  

As he sorted through his bag you told him the story of what happened, your voice shaky and breaking as you recounted the terrifying events.  You could tell he grew more and more furious as you went on. He applied a hypo to your neck, and you felt the sting and aching of your wounds lessen.  He pressed a healing patch to your arm and the bleeding stopped almost immediately.  He applied a salve to the blue-black bruises forming on your jaw and on your thighs, and you couldn't suppress a blush as he tenderly applied the salve there.  

You felt a thousand times better once he had finished, but you also felt completely and utterly drained.  

"You feeling better?" Leonard asked as he put away the medical supplies.

You managed a small nod, but suddenly your mind was racing and a feeling of anxiety washed over you, making your heart rate increase dramatically.    

"I'm sorry I didn't meet you for breakfast this morning, my alarm didn't go off." You blurted, your eyes on the floor.  

You heard him chuckle softly and responded teasingly, "don't worry about it darlin'.  I have to admit I was slightly disappointed, but..." 

He stopped talking when he saw your face.  Tears streamed down your cheeks again, but this time it wasn't uncontrolled sobs, only sad, slow tears that overflowed down your cheeks.  

"Is something still hurting you?" He questioned as he turned back to the cupboard to get the med kit again but stopped as you shook your head.  

"Then what is it?" He asked gently and kneeled down in front of you so you had no choice but to look down into his sad quizzical eyes.  

As you looked at Leonard more tears streamed down your face, and all you could do was shake your head, gulp a few shaky breaths, and bury your face in your trembling hands. 

Leonard’s hands came gingerly up and rested on your knees, thumbs stroking a soft pattern into your skin.  

Another wave of anxiety caught you in its grasp and you suddenly realized you couldn’t take his kindness and pity anymore, you didn’t deserve it.   

"I can't." You whispered and suddenly twisted your chair, stood up and strode towards the door with as little shaking as you could manage.  

"Y/N, wait!" Leonard yelled and you heard his footsteps behind you.  

You had barely made it into the living room when he grabbed your hand and spun you around to face him.  

"Why do you run away from everything?" Leonard said almost roughly, his face contorted in what looked like a mix of pain and confusion.  

"Let me go." You instructed him, tugging weakly at your arm.

He didn’t say anything but responded by entwining your fingers through his so you two were properly holding hands.  

You looked up at him in desperation but you knew that he wasn't going to back down.  You let out a sigh of surrender and squeezed his hand that you held.  He squeezed back gently.  

"I am no good for you." You started, begging the tears that pressed on your eyes to retreat, "I am quiet and weak and awkward, and can barely stand on my own two feet.  You are strong and intelligent and a hero and I am nothing.  Nothing piled on nothing.  I'd rather curl up and read my book and avoid my problems than face them.  You deserve someone a thousand times better than me, that's why I am leaving."

Leonard looked at you quizzically, and he pulled at your connected hands so you moved closer together.  You couldn't handle it.  You released his hand and stalked to the other side of the coffee table.  

You stared at each other for a minute before he spoke. 

"You are not nothing." Leonard began, and you started to interject but he raised a hand to stop you, closing the distance and stopping in front of you. 

"You. Are. Not. Nothing." he repeated slowly and continued, "you are kind and funny and smart.  So god-damn smart.  And you are a hero.  You saved Spock's life when even I couldn't.  And sure, you are clumsy and awkward, but I find that incredibly endearing and refreshing.”

He paused and you let his words sink in, and you were surprised to find that your anxiety was diminishing, as these situations usually caused you to panic.  You fiddled with a tear in your uniform and waited for him to continue. 

Leonard ran his hand down the back of his neck before he spoke again, “Everyone on this damn ship thinks that they're a hero just because they are on it.  They are so cocky and hard-headed and think that they can get whatever they want.  But not you.  When I met you it was like a breath of fresh air.  I didn't have to argue or debate anything with you because you were actually listening to what I was saying and not trying to interject with your own ideas.  And I am friends with Kirk and Spock and that's literally all they do.  Not you, though.  You are different." 

As he spoke he seemed to get more agitated or frustrated like he was mad that you couldn't see your own worth.  But the truth was, you couldn't.  You'd been knocked down so many times about your ideas and dreams and everything that you had forgotten that you wanted them in the first place.  You'd forgotten what it was like to have someone believe in you.  Your mean classmates faces and jeers came back into your mind like a flood and you almost broke down again.  

"Why can't anyone else see that?  Nobody ever believes in me.  Even my parents doubted me about joining the Academy.  They didn't think I could do it.  But I did.  And I was mocked for years." You drew out the word 'years' for emphasis and continued, growing more flustered and agitated.  "Why in the world would you want to study botany if you wanted to be in Starfleet?  And then I was chosen for the Enterprise and I was mocked even more.”

You took a shaky breath and met Leonard’s eyes, his face open and kind as you continued, 

“I run away because I am not strong enough to fight.  Not strong enough to confront anything.  Not the bullies, not my parents, and especially not my feelings for you." 

You backed away from him; keeping his gaze locked with yours when you felt your foot catch on the corner of the coffee table.  Before you could tumble, Leonard's hands were around your waist, pulling you up.  But this time he didn't let you go.  He pulled you closer until your foreheads touched.  

"I believe in you." He whispered, his breath warm on your lips, sending shivers down your spine.  

Your brain screamed for you to run away, to escape from his arms and turn and head out the door as fast as you could.  But for once you pushed it aside.  You ignored your body's natural instinct to flee and instead wrapped your arms around Leonard's neck.  

Your hand smoothed down the hair at the back of his neck, and every passing second that you were pressed against Leonard helped your shaking extremities to steady and your breathing to slow.  Your anxiety was long gone.  

"This scares me." You whispered, staring deep into his dark brown eyes. 

"Good." Was the last word he said before he closed the gap and pressed his lips to yours.  Your hands moved to cup his cheeks as he kissed you slowly, his hands tightening around your back.  Everything suddenly felt like it was falling apart at the same time that it was falling into place.  

You pulled away gently, and ran your fingers through his hair, making it stick up, similar to the morning you first met.  

"You should probably fix that." You teased, a smile playing on your lips.

Leonard stared at your lips with unabashed longing and said, "Nah," before pulling you back in to his lips and lavishing you again.  

Your heart was full and your lips were sore when he eventually pulled away, his arm still draped around your waist.  He lead you to his bedroom and you paused, not sure that you were ready for this step yet.

"Don’t worry, darlin',” Leonard assured, sensing your hesitation, “I just haven't had a good night's sleep since Spock's return and I think you might be the perfect remedy for that." He suggested, pulling the covers back and climbing in, your hand still in his.  

You tugged off your boots and tossed them on the floor.  Leonard's hand pulled yours into the bed and you climbed in and curled up against him, your chin tucked against his collarbone, your body fitting perfectly into his.  You planted a couple kisses on his neck and he responded by kissing your forehead.  

As you felt him fall asleep you wiggled upwards in the bed so your face was at the same level as his.  He was half asleep, but his eyes were still slightly open. 

"Mmmm?" He hummed questioningly and you felt his arms pull your body closer to his. 

"I believe in you too." You whispered to him and placed a gentle, lingering kiss on his lips, before pulling away smiling.  Leonard smiled sleepily too, and you watched his eyes flutter closed in exhaustion.  

You curled back up into his body and rested your head on his chest.  

Nothing was better than this, you thought to yourself as the flame of happiness enveloped your entire body.  

If Leonard could believe in you as much as he did, maybe you could learn to believe in yourself too. 

- WHOOOOO!  Last part done!  Hope you all liked it!  I promise that there won’t be a long one for a while, and I have a few ideas for a few more fics on the go already so keep your eyes out!  Goodnight! -