Before he could fire back, the bullpen doors opened.

And everything—everything—stopped.

You stepped inside like it was nothing.

Like you hadn’t just completely knocked the air out of his lungs.

The dress wasn’t anything overly flashy. Simple. Soft. It moved with you in a way he wasn’t used to seeing. You usually lived in comfortable clothes, practical things for long days and late nights.

But this?

This was different.

This was—

Booth stood up without realizing he had.

Angela’s voice dropped into a whisper. “Oh my God…”

Even Brennan looked up.

But Booth? He couldn’t look at anything else.

You spotted him and smiled, a little unsure of yourself. “Hey… sorry I’m late.”

He didn’t answer.

Didn’t move.

Just stared.

Your smile faltered slightly. “Booth?”

He blinked, like he’d just been pulled back into his body. “Yeah—yeah, I—uh…”

He cleared his throat, stepping closer.

“Wow.”

That was it. That was all he had.

You let out a small, nervous laugh. “Wow good or wow bad?”

“Good?” he echoed, like the word wasn’t nearly enough. “No—no, sweetheart, that’s… that’s—”

He stopped again, shaking his head, completely at a loss.

Angela grinned behind him. “He’s broken.”

Booth ignored her, eyes still locked on you like if he looked away, you might disappear.

“You look…” he tried again, softer this time. “You look beautiful.”

The way he said it made your chest tighten.

Not casual. Not automatic.

Like he meant it.

Like he was still trying to process it.

“Thank you,” you said quietly.

There was a beat of silence.

Then Booth did something unexpected—he reached for your hand, almost instinctively, like he needed to ground himself.

“You ready to go?” you asked.

He nodded immediately. “Yeah. Yeah, absolutely.”

But he didn’t move.

Just stood there, still holding your hand, still looking at you like you’d just rewritten something inside him.

You tilted your head. “Booth?”

He exhaled slowly, almost a laugh under his breath.

“You know,” he said, voice lower now, more personal, “I thought I had this whole thing figured out.”

“What thing?”

“This,” he gestured between the two of you. “Us.”

Your heart skipped.

“And?”

He shook his head, smiling like he couldn’t quite believe it himself.

“And then you walk in here like that…” His thumb brushed over your knuckles absentmindedly. “And suddenly I feel like I’m back at the beginning again.”

You softened. “The beginning?”

“Yeah,” he said. “Like the first time I realized I was in trouble.”

A small smile tugged at your lips. “In trouble?”

“Oh yeah,” he murmured. “Big time.”

You stepped a little closer, your voice gentle. “Booth… we’ve been together for a while now.”

“I know,” he said quickly. “I know that. And I wouldn’t change a second of it.”

He paused, eyes searching yours.

“But I didn’t think it was possible to feel that again.”

“Feel what?”

He smiled, softer now. Warmer.

“Like I’m falling for you.”

Your breath caught.

“Again,” he added quietly.

For a second, neither of you moved.

The noise of the bullpen faded into the background.

It was just him.

Just you.

You squeezed his hand. “Good,” you whispered.

He raised an eyebrow. “Good?”

You nodded, stepping even closer. “Because I don’t think I ever stopped.”

That did it.

Booth let out a quiet, disbelieving laugh, pulling you into him without hesitation, one arm wrapping securely around your waist.

“Yeah,” he murmured against your hair. “Yeah, I’m definitely in trouble.”

Angela’s voice cut in from across the room. “You two are disgustingly cute, by the way.”

Booth didn’t even look at her.

Didn’t care.

Not when he had you right there in his arms, heart pounding like it was the first time all over again.

And maybe that was the thing.

Maybe love wasn’t just something that happened once.

Maybe, if you were lucky—

You got to fall more than once.

Because they regularly came into contact with alien societies, plants, and creatures, every crew member was required to visit the infirmary for a checkup every five months. If a person had been on many field missions, the checkup was required every three months.

And of course, there were always some who sat before him with nervous expressions, since they were afraid of injections or infirmaries themselves, but still, everyone had pulled themselves together and come to see him. Until now.

This morning, Leonard had gone through the past reports and noticed, purely by chance, that one of the files showed no entry yet, even though the examination should have taken place three weeks ago: your file.

At first, he hadn’t thought anything of it. It often happened that the system glitched and the latest updates weren’t always available right away, or that one of the nurses sometimes forgot to press “Send” so the examination would show as complete. Rarely, but sometimes it was entirely possible. But after he’d questioned his entire team and everyone had assured him that they hadn’t seen you even once since the start of the journey, let alone conducted your examination in the last few weeks, Leonard was slowly getting in a bad mood.

Normally, he would have sent you a note in this case, asking you to come to the infirmary as soon as possible; however, after a quick check, he realized that the reason he hadn’t noticed your missed checkup sooner was that someone had tampered with his files and muted the notification he usually received when someone was overdue for their appointment. Since this was no longer just an “accidentally missed checkup” but most likely a deliberate act of disregard on your part, he had grumbled, stood up, and walked straight out of the infirmary. If he couldn’t reach you digitally, he’d have to try the old-fashioned way and pay you a home visit.

First, he’d tried your quarters, but your roommate—whom Leonard had yanked out of her dreams—had sleepily informed him that you were on duty down in engineering. And since Leonard McCoy had nothing to do at the moment except sort out the storage room for the third time this week, he decided to track you down in person. That way, he could just take you with him and save himself a lot of work.

At least, that had been the plan. In reality, he’d been wandering through engineering and the surrounding corridors for at least ten minutes now, trying to find you—or at least Scotty, who he hoped could tell him where to find you.

Sighing, he glanced down at his watch. If he didn’t find one of you within the next five minutes, he would send you a message to come see him and leave a note for Scotty asking him to please send you to the sickbay immediately. In fact, however, luck seemed to be on his side for once in his life, because as he turned the next corner, he found not only Scotty but also you, as you were heatedly arguing with each other over a console.

“Commander, Lieutenant.” You looked up, and with a kind of grim satisfaction, he noted that you had to swallow briefly when you saw him. Rightly so. You had already caused him so much trouble that you had every reason to have at least some respect for him. Scotty, on the other hand, just looked confused. “Doctor? What can I do for ya? Did one of the scanners break again?” His expression grew more concerned. “Or did one of my people get hurt again?” Leonard just shook his head, his eyes fixed on you as you tried to slip away quietly and secretly. “Lieutenant? I think you can guess why I’m here, can’t you?”

You flinched briefly at his direct address and slowly turned to face him, your back straight and your hands clasped behind your back. “I’m afraid I can’t help you, Dr. McCoy.” Your eyes darted around the room as if you were looking for a way out. “Besides, I just remembered there’s a maintenance hatch on Deck 4 that’s been waiting for me for quite some time, so…” You reached for the pad lying on the console, but Leonard stepped in your way and held you at bay with a grim look.

“I’ll make this quick, Lieutenant, because you’ve already wasted enough of my time. My records show that your routine checkup is already three weeks overdue. I’d like you to come with me to the sickbay so we can take care of this right away.”

He could clearly see how you were trying to suppress the grimace your body so desperately wanted to make, but you didn’t quite manage it. “Are you sure? I’d be happy to check again, because I’m pretty sure,” you reached out for his pad, but he pulled his arm back just in time so it was out of your reach.

“With all due respect, Lieutenant, I’m pretty sure none of my team has developed a habit of lying to me.” He flashed a grim smile that made you sink deeper into yourself. “And even if the examination had taken place, it shouldn’t be a problem for you to come along, since you’d have to be in perfect health.”

Your teeth dug into your lower lip, and he could practically see the gears turning in your head. Scotty had been silently observing the exchange until now, but finally addressed you. “Come on, Lass. The good doctor won’t bite; it’ll only take a moment.”

“He looks like he would,” you muttered quietly, obviously meant only for Scotty’s ears, but Leonard heard every word and rolled his eyes internally. He didn’t have time for this nonsense.

“Doctor, would it be possible if I—”

“Look, you have two options now, Lieutenant,” he interrupted you a bit more harshly than he intended, but he was slowly losing his patience. He was a doctor, not a babysitter. “Either you accompany me to the sickbay right now, and we’ll quickly run the scans and tests, and you’ll be back here in twenty minutes at the latest to continue your work and return to the maintenance hatch. Or I’ll leave the engine room without you, note that you’ve refused an order from the CMO—and thus your commandin’ officer—and the whole thing will go all the way up to the captain.”

He could see the color slowly draining from your cheeks and decided to add one more aside. “In addition, he will of course be informed of the strange fact that, of all people, an engineer’s files were tampered with and the notifications were turned off specifically for you. I don’t know much about all that stuff, but ’m pretty sure that with a little diggin’, the person who did this will be found.”

Leonard finished speaking and fixed you with a piercing gaze before taking a step toward you, forcing you to look up at him slightly. “So? What will it be?” He could see that Scotty’s gaze was fixed on his side, but he kept his mouth shut. Even he, who willingly stood up for his team, had to admit that he didn’t have a say in this situation.

Your eyes flickered to his pad, to his face, and straight to the door behind him, and for a moment Leonard truly believed he might have to make good on his threat. After a few more seconds had passed, however, you sighed softly and pressed your pad into Scotty’s hand. “Permission to leave duty, sir?”

Scotty merely nodded, and after casting an almost contemptuous glance at Leonard, you marched out of the engine room with your head held high, leaving Leonard behind.

He gave Scotty a quick nod goodbye before hurrying to catch up with you. Not that you’d take the chance to run away from him again—this time, perhaps, by barricading yourself in a shaft he couldn’t get into. As he watched you stomp morosely toward the elevator, Leonard had the feeling he was going to have his hands full with you.

~~

Over the past few months, Leonard had welcomed you to the infirmary four more times for minor injuries sustained while on duty—nothing serious, usually treated quickly. However, you had never once come to him voluntarily, always accompanied by at least one person who, contrary to what one might have assumed, was not tasked with ensuring that you arrived safely at his office, but was responsible for making sure you didn’t turn back halfway and try to treat yourself with your tools and duct tape.

He had already suspected, before he met you, that you were one of those people who didn’t like going to the doctor. However, he had learned in recent months that you seemed to despise the infirmary so much that, if the saying “An apple a day keeps the doctor away” were true, you would live on nothing but apples until you yourself had turned into one, and in an emergency, you would resort to throwing the fruit at him, as long as it kept the hypospray away from your neck. Several times already he’d had to grab you more firmly than he’d intended to give you injections or medication, and every time you’d stared at him with such a nasty look that he almost felt bad.

To put it simply: Leonard McCoy knew that you didn’t like the sickbay and that you were by far one of his most complicated patients—which was quite a feat, considering who the captain of this ship was. And he knew that the chances of you showing up here without being summoned were very slim.

So he was all the more surprised when, upon hearing his name called, he turned around and saw you, lightly supported by Scotty, enter the sickbay, your face contorted with pain.

Instantly, he set aside the pad he had been looking at and stepped toward you to take you from Scotty and lead you to one of the beds, where a soft groan escaped you as you settled down. “Goddamn it, what happened to you?” The question was directed at you, however, Scotty answered in your place, since you were too busy clenching your teeth.

“She fell off one of the ladders because one of the steps broke off.” Scotty’s eyes were fixed on you, and his concern was plain to see. “I’m no expert, but her ankle is swollen, and in my opinion, her shoulder shouldn’t be stickin’ out at that angle.” Leonard, who had by now walked around you once with a scanner, nodded grimly. “The ankle is definitely sprained, with a mild ligament strain. The shoulder is dislocated, and if I’m not mistaken, the hand on the same arm has a minor fracture.” He looked at you reproachfully. “Damn it, you really need to be more careful.”

He turned around and reached for one of the hyposprays.

“It’s not that bad,” you said, watching the spray in his hand skeptically while trying to slide off the bed as if that would let you escape his reach. Leonard snorted. “Like hell it is. As a professional in the medical field, I’d say I seriously doubt that.” And before you could protest further, he quickly jabbed the hypospray into your neck, eliciting a pained hiss from you. “That’s for the pain, and this,” he continued, jabbing another hypospray into your skin, “is to stop the black spots from dancin’ in front of your eyes.” “How…” “Do I know that?” He snorted as he walked around you. “I’m a doctor, sweetheart, that’s my job—to know.”

As you whimpered softly and glared at him angrily, he set the now-empty hyposprays down beside you on the bed and gently reached for your arm, carefully avoiding the fracture in your wrist. His gaze met yours, and for a brief moment he could see the fear swimming in your eyes. Contrary to the grim expression he often wore, it pierced his heart. He might be harsh, sarcastic, and downright cynical, but he had become a doctor to help people because he couldn’t bear to see them suffer. And right now, he was filled with nothing but compassion, since you were obviously still in severe pain despite the spray, and he tried to give you an encouraging smile as he helped you into a slightly reclined position.

“It’ll hurt for a second. But I have to fix your shoulder before I can take care of the rest, and the longer I wait, the more uncomfortable it’ll be, Darlin’.” Unshed tears welled up in your eyes, but you just nodded and squeezed your eyes shut tightly. “Here,” he murmured, holding out the arm closest to you and gently placing your uninjured hand on it. “I can’t really hold your hand because I need both of mine, but if you’re in pain: squeeze. I can take it.”

He could imagine that the idea of feeling up your doctor was quite uncomfortable for you, but you just nodded silently and grabbed his bicep. “On three. One, two…”

Before he got to three, he pressed against your armpit and pulled your arm upward. A small cry of pain escaped you, and your fingers dug painfully into his upper arm before a soft “pop” was heard and Leonard released your arm, taking care to lay it gently on your stomach. Your breath came out in gasps between your teeth, and he could see that your face was still contorted with pain, though you generally seemed a little less strained, which he took as a good sign.

Gently, he tapped the back of your hand to free it from his bicep. “Careful, darlin’, or you won’t be the only one with a fracture. There’s obviously more strength in you than meets the eye.” Your grip loosened, and he was able to take a step back from you. Leonard reached for the pad again to take a closer look at the rest of your injuries now that he had resolved the most urgent of the problems.

“The ankle shouldn’t cause too many problems,” he told you as he rummaged through one of the cabinets. “I’ll give you a hypospray, and then we’ll cool it down for about an hour or two with one of the biogenerating compresses. That should help with the swelling and make sure most of the pain and discomfort goes away.” As he spoke, he stepped closer and administered another hypospray, applying it much more gently than the previous two. This time, you only flinched just a tiny bit. “However, since your ligaments are overstretched, you’ll have to take it easy—same goes for your hand. I’ll treat it as best I can, but just to be safe, I’d leave it in a bandage for a while to make sure it doesn’t get overworked.”

His gaze shifted back and forth between you and Scott, who was still standing there looking a bit helpless. “That means no repairs for the next two days, no climbing into air shafts, nothing like that. You’re on office duty.” He could see you opening your mouth, most likely to protest, but he cut in before anything came out. “No arguments, that’s an order, Lieutenant.”

Your lips pressed together in a slight pout, and if he hadn’t held them back, you probably would have crossed your arms. Scotty nodded to Leonard. “I’ll make sure the lass doesn’t overdo it. Thanks.” Leonard nodded and looked at you expectantly. “Yes, sir.” The venom in your voice was unmistakable, but Leonard took it as a win and turned to Scotty. “Well, I’ve got a patient to treat. I’m sure you’ve got something better to do.” Without waiting for an answer, he drew the curtain around your bed.

~**~

“Lieutenant, shouldn’t you be sitting at your desk going over reports?” You flinched and, startled, dropped the wrench, sending it clattering to the floor. Slowly, you closed your eyes and took a quick, calming breath in and out, before turning toward the voice that belonged to the man who, over the past few months, had made it his mission to follow you seemingly everywhere you went—and almost every time, one of these encounters ended with you being dragged off to the infirmary or, at the very least, being lectured on how you could better take care of your health.

You looked up at him as he eyed you with a raised eyebrow and reluctantly lifted your chin. “Shouldn’t you be in the sickbay taking care of patients instead of scaring engineers so much that they might injure themselves in an emergency?” His expression grew more grim. You should have learned by now that a grim-faced McCoy only meant you’d be tortured even more, but you’d taken too much pleasure in driving him up the wall, even if you didn’t like the consequences.

“Funny you should mention that. If I recall correctly, you’re one of those patients, and I strictly forbade you from doin’ any kind of heavy physical labor.” You rolled your eyes and picked up the wrench. “Then you’ll be pleased to know that I’ve been following your orders, Doctor.”

“Oh, really? Then what the hell were you just doin’? Takin’ a coffee break?” It was clear that he was getting more and more upset. You’d noticed that the more upset he got, the stronger his Southern accent became. And in fact, you had to admit to yourself that you’d really enjoyed pushing the doctor to the point where his accent slipped out.

“I had just returned to the office from my break when I saw that the display wasn’t working properly.” You nodded toward the small panel on the wall that you’d been tinkering with just a moment ago. “So I unscrewed the panel briefly, plugged in a cable properly, and screwed it back on.” You raised an eyebrow defiantly, a mirror image of him. “As you can see, I did follow your instructions, because that little bit doesn’t really count as physical exertion. And if you’ll excuse me now, I still have some paperwork waiting for me. I’m going to head out.”

You turned to leave, but McCoy stopped you. “Oh no, you’re not. That’s non-negotiable.”

In just a few steps, he had overtaken you and stood in your way with his arms crossed. “Due to the suspicion that you may have sustained another or additional injury, I’m askin’ you to follow me to the infirmary.” You felt as if you’d been struck by lightning. “You can’t be serious.”

“Do I look like ’m jokin’, Lieutenant?”

Unfortunately, it wasn’t a question you could answer with a “yes.” His lips were pressed together so tightly they were reduced to a thin line, his eyebrows drawn together in an angry V, and a glint in his eyes that wasn’t caused by any joy. “Come with me. Now.” His voice was so cold it sent a shiver down your spine; you didn’t dare contradict him and reluctantly followed him into the infirmary.

Once there, he didn’t even have to point to the hospital bed; he simply fetched a few necessary devices from one of the shelves while you sat down. He worked on you in silence, scanning your arm and reading the results from one of the monitors, while the angry furrow in his brow still wouldn’t disappear. The tension was palpable, and you felt the urge to shrink into yourself. Maybe you really had gone too far this time. With your eyes, you followed the movements of his nimble fingers as they swapped one probe for another, entered some data into the computer, and gently examined your arm to determine whether you’d made your injury worse.

“I’m sorry,” you murmured softly, to which the doctor replied with nothing more than a scoff. “It’s your body you’re hurtin’. If you want to apologize to anyone, apologize to yourself.”

You couldn’t explain why, but his words hit you hard. McCoy had always been gruff, and normally his comments hadn’t bothered you much, but something about the way he spoke—and the way he avoided looking you in the face—made your heart sink. Your gaze drifted to the floor. “Yes, sir.”

That made him pause, and for a moment he allowed himself to really look at you. There wasn’t the usual spark of humor and teasing in your eyes. You had your arms wrapped around your body as best you could, and overall, you looked as if your presence there wasn’t uncomfortable because you didn’t like doctors, but because you were genuinely ashamed of your behavior. He looked at the monitor, and when he caught sight of his reflection, angry expression, furrowed eyebrows, and lips pursed into a thin line, the knot of anger, irritation, and worry that had dug itself deep into his chest began to slowly unravel.

“Hey, sweetheart, ” he murmured, tapping the underside of your chin lightly with the hypospray to get you to look up. It took another try before you finally did him the favor and looked him in the eyes. A wry smile formed faintly on his lips before he snorted softly. “I don’t wanna lecture you, and I’ve dealt with enough people who don’t like comin’ here. Damn it, I don’t blame ‘em, it’s not exactly invitin’.” That drew a small smile from you and filled him with a strange sense of satisfaction. “But there’s a difference between that and deliberately failin’ to follow medical orders just because you feel like it. And if it comes to that, I’ll have to step in.”

The smile had vanished from your lips again, but you didn’t look nearly as dejected as you had a moment ago, which he considered a win. “I understand, Doctor.” McCoy watched you for a moment to make sure, that you actually understood what he wanted, before nodding.

“Good.” He pressed the hypospray against your neck. “Watch out.”

~**~

“Uh, Dr. McCoy?” Your voice made Bones look up, and he turned toward you, seemingly confused. You stood there looking a little lost in the middle of the sickbay, your now-healed arm draped across your waist, a slightly embarrassed expression on your face. But what caught his attention was that you were alone.

No Scotty dragging you in, no other colleague or superior who had to practically order you to enter this room—no one. You were here alone and, as he confirmed after a quick glance at one of his pads, of your own free will. At least neither he nor anyone on his team had summoned you, and he hadn’t scheduled another appointment with you either. Instantly, worry washed over him, and he set the pad aside to rush to your side.

“Is everythin’ okay, Lieutenant? Is there an emergency?” Your embarrassed expression only deepened, and you laughed sheepishly. “No, no, nothing like that. I… um.” Another embarrassed laugh escaped you, which only deepened his concern. “Sweetheart?” “Vaccine!” you finally blurted out, though so loudly that the other people in the infirmary turned to look at you, making you feel even more flustered.

“One of my vaccines needs a booster,” you added more quietly, successfully avoiding his surprised gaze. “We didn’ ask you to come here,” he remarked, to which you simply nodded. “I know. I saw it and thought I could get it over with now instead of waiting any longer.” You looked up uncertainly. “Unless, of course, that’s not possible. Then I’ll leave.”

“No, no.” McCoy quickly interrupted you, worried that you’d turn on your heel and flee the sickbay if you had to keep talking. He tapped a few things into his pad before nodding and pointing to one of the beds. “It’s true, you weren’t supposed to come back for another month and a half, but with this vaccine, that doesn’t really make much of a difference. Please.” A sigh of relief, which you tried to hide, escaped you, as you hurried over to the bed he’d pointed out before you could change your mind.

“I have to admit, I’m surprised,” McCoy confessed as he prepared the hypospray next to you and shot you a sidelong glance that made the heat rush to your face even more. “I never thought the day would come when you’d voluntarily set foot in this room.” “Well,” you mumbled into the collar of your uniform, trying to avoid his gaze, the sassy mouth you usually flaunted gone as if it had never existed.

“Maybe I’ve finally found something that makes my stays here a little… more bearable.”

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Fuck fuck fuck.

(Name) Forced himself to stay calm as she hummed, fixing something on the vanity before locking eyes with him from the mirror “you know, my sweet boy struggled so hard to find love... Then he saw you” she said softly, warmth in her voice in regards to her son “I didn't think any Omega was good for him, your kind are too needy... But he chose you” her hand gripped a cup tightly, knuckling white with rage before she turned and smiled at him.

This woman was terrifying.

And (name) needed to get the fuck out of here as soon as possible but he needed to keep his kids safe first.

He didn't take his eyes off her, he knew he wasn't strong enough currently to fight her, the second his body was back to normal... He was going to rip the hair from her skull.

“Now, there's rules with being my son's wife” she said, knowing (name) couldn't reply and (name) knew he had to be careful around her, for his pups.

He just hoped his team would get him soon enough.

-

Everyone was frantic, trying to get any information and going through his notes “there's three people he was suspicious of” Boothe mumbled, looking at (name)s notes, they were detailed and precise much like his sister's... Boothe always found their similarities so funny, (name) was like if Tempe knew social cues ‘ill get you back home, kid’ he promised to himself, he has some nieces or nephews to meet after all.

Spencer was a mess, the mating mark making him feel all his emotions far more intensely and hated that he had to step away from it, JJ dragging him to get some air.

“He really cares for him” Temperance mumbled while reading her brother's notes, noting how her future brother-in -law was behaving in regards to (name) being taken, she herself was trying to keep her emotions in check... She needed to be focused while she sent things to both her people and Hotch had Penelope and Angela exchange information to work double time.

“Well, let's get to questioning” Morgan said and everyone broke off to teams.

-

“He's so pretty...” A voice spoke when (name) came to, feeling a hand touch his thigh and (name)s eyes snapped open to the sensation and tried to not panic at the sight of a young man leaning over him “don't worry... I won't hurt you” he urged and (name) tried to not strike him immediately, heart racing and he was thankful as fuck that he still didn't look fully pregnant, a safety net for his babies “omegas always want to look a certain way but you... Those baby baring hips .. you look perfect” (name) was trying to not throw up at the implications he spoke “I'm... I'm not good with--” SLAP “sweety, you speak when I say you can speak” he said gripping (name)s throat, a switch that terrified him as he pinned him to the bed, hands forcing the breath from his throat.

(Name) Was desperate to get free, kicking and flailing before he was let go with a heave “see! If you're a good boy I won't need to be mean, I don't wanna hurt you..” his switch up was horrifying, (name) looking teary eyed and nodded. He had to play along to survive.

At least until Spencer got here.

-

Morgan was on with the news.

Temperance, Boothe, Prentiss and AJ were out going to the suspects houses and Penelope and Hotch were working on getting warrants.

And Spencer was forced to go through (name)s things, his notes and anything that could give them an edge.

“Thank god he's thorough in his organizing...” He wouldn't deny it was really attractive how he had everything filed and labeled...

He noted at (name) kept going back to two people, something about hem caught his eyes and Spencer could see why.

The mother was seemingly normal but what caught his attention was the son.

Reports of domestic disturbances and police reports from exes that went nowhere...

“(Name), you are brilliant”

-

(Name) Was hurting, any tiny thing he did out of sorts... He got hurt.

Thankfully, he's kept his stomach safe.

For now.

He was forced to sit in silence, the house in a makeshift version of a 50s doll house while the mother read Bible verses to him about subservient and obeying one's husband. He listened intently, the woman randomly stopping to quiz him and (name) felt anxiety flood him whenever she would halt for even a breath.

Fuck face was at work, (name) knew his schedule from his files.

He could take her.

But these fuckers strapped him in tap shoes.

It was slow, slipping off the shoes and was thankful they didn't strap him in as the son had a raging foot fetish, (name) didn't want to think about it, what he did to (name).

It took twenty minutes to slip his shoes off without a noise and grabbed a vase from the end table and smashed it against her head before kicking her and running, the woman forgetting to lock the door after a neighbor came by. (Name) Ran out into the street screaming, heart pounding as neighbors looked terrified all while the mother chased after him with a pistol and missing every shot.

I love this fic which has Veela!Hermione x Draco -- it's a strange concept, it really is. but honestly sometimes I still go back to a real good Dramione fic (and this is one of my faves) despite not liking the OG material as much anymore either and thinking the OG author is a TERF trashbag

Speaking of fics from HP, I can also recommend these canon divergent AUs: one where Harry essentially uses Dolores like a puppet and has the ministry in the palm of his hand, and one where Harry realizes he's Lord Potter and has a lot of political and hidden powers and marries Daphne Greengrass. Both of these fics I discovered through my ex and have maintained a soft spot for. They're both the kind of fics where Harry grows some balls and becomes pretty OP, and at the very least the first one is pretty Dumbledore-bashing and Weasley-bashing for a while if I remember correctly. I enjoy them tho and I have read them a few times, if not recently.

Another is this Addams Family x HP Crossover. Just... just trust me.

I love this series which is a Fallout OC x Nick Valentine x John Hancock creation/masterpiece -- I'm just starting to reread it now bc when I first started reading it part 3 wasn't done yet and I lost track of where I was so I'm just gonna let myself get lost in it again

Speaking of Fallout, I cannot enough recommend Gaqalesqua and AbhorrentGodliness if you're into strange smut (this Arthur Maxson x Sole Survivor AU is probably my fave)

I love this fic which has trans male Dean Winchester and it made me cry like a baby

Speaking of fics that made me cry like a baby, this McSpirk Hanahaki Disease trope fic did just that last night

I am a sucker for angst sometimes, and one of my fave angst fics is this NCIS fic about Tony dealing with a significant trauma. It's VERY dark. Like please read the tags dark.

Another dark one - but in different ways - is this fic which is a Marvek Mafia AU with Bucky x Steve x Reader where Reader is saved from a shitty relationship and then Stucky straight up murder Reader's shitty ex. Listen, I was having some anger issues when I found this fic. It just happened to stick out nicely. It gets dark and is incredibly smutty.

Another reader insert fic I enjoy is this Tenth Doctor x Reader one that's just... it's just smut. It's completely unabashed smut. Reader and the Doctor have sex in a glass cage in a nightclub. That's it. One of the best horny AF PWP I've ever seen just because it's so... it's so smut.

One that isn't smut but has a smut effect on my heart because it's so fluffy is this Bones Mccoy x Reader fic that's like a bookstore owner x local doctor AU. It's so cute.

On a smutty Bones fic note if so desired, this one has plot. No, really, it's got 60k words and 12 chapters, and is like a really good read even if you skip the smut. It's adorable.

Edit to add: Hanahaki Disease McSpirk? Take it. Take the angst and hurt/comfort. Take it. You know you want it. And this McKirk/Reader fic that has angst galore but also a three-way-marriage and babies. Let's go!!

And as a final addition I will bring in my most absolutely foolproof comfort smut -- it's a Smosh fic, set between Reader and Damien Haas, and it's genuinely one of the best slow burn smut fics I have ever read. This is one of the fics that makes me dig thru all my bookmarks to find again no matter how deep it gets.

Thank you so much for asking!!!! I am always happy to provide more. Again I read a lot of reader inserts so those are in no shortage of supply!! I have a LOT of Dr. Leonard "Bones" McCoy x Reader bookmarked either on AO3 itself or in my internet browser... Like a lot.

There she was - his y/n. Sitting on the kitchen counter, legs swinging lazily, one of his soft blue button-ups two sizes too big on her perfect body. Her hair framed her face and fell messily around her shoulders in the best way possible. Underneath the piece of clothing she claimed as her own, there was delicate lace panties that clung to her hips and the soft curve of her thighs. A small container of vanilla ice cream was nestled between her thighs and in her hand was a spoonful of ice cream, the way she licked it slowly, deliberately, making the simple act look impossibly erotic.

He swallowed hard, feeling his pants suddenly too tight. Goddamn, she looked like a walking wet dream in his shirt, legs spread slightly on the counter, completely unaware of how fucking sexy she was right now. The way she licked that spoon... Fuck it.

“Hey, Honey” y/n said innocently - or she tried to sound innocent. It was contradicted by the way her eyes met his blue ones when the spoon slipped past her lips.

“Hey yourself” James managed to say, his voice coming out rougher than intended. He slowly unbuttoned his suit jacket, absently tossing it to the side, his eyes never leaving hers. He knew exactly what she was doing - driving him wild with that innocent act.

“missed you today” she mumbled. She picked the carton up, spreading her thighs as James positioned himself between them.

“Mhm” He hummed noncommittally, his hands coming up to rest on her thighs, thumbs brushing against the edge of those fucking distracting panties. He leaned in closer, nuzzling his nose against her neck and inhaling deeply. She always smelled so good.

“Want some?” she asked softly, a spoonful of ice cream out to him.

James nipped at her neck before pulling back to look at the offered spoon. He wrapped his lips around it, sucking it clean while his eyes stayed locked with hers. The cold ice cream melted against his tongue, but it was nothing compared to the heat building between her legs. “Mm, not as sweet as you” he murmured, his hands slowly inching up her thighs.

His thumbs hooked into the waistband of her panties, pulling them aside. He leaned in closer, his breath warm against her ear as he whispered, “Lift your ass up” It wasn’t a request, but a command - one she eagerly obeyed without hesitation.

James gripped her ass firmly, pulling her closer to the edge of the counter. He could feel himself getting harder by the second at the sight of her spread out before him. Without any further hesitation, he leaned in and captured her mouth in a fierce kiss while his fingers immediately tangled in her hair.

Y/n moaned softly against his lips, the taste of vanilla lingering between them. She pulled away from the kiss, pressing her forehead against his. “the ice creams gonna melt” she whispered, obviously hinting at something as she dipped her first two fingers in the softening ice cream.

James chuckled darkly against her lips, understanding her hint immediately. His eyes dropped to watch as she coated her fingers with ice cream. Before she could do anything else, he caught her wrist and brought those sweet-coated fingers to his mouth instead. He sucked them clean one by one while holding her gaze intensely.

He gave a low growl, pushing her back until she was flat on the counter. The cool surface sent a shiver through her, but he quickly warmed the chill with his hands, fingertips tracing every curve. He lifted one leg, hooking it over his shoulder, leaning closer.

“Such a tease” he muttered, dipping two fingers into the tub of ice cream collecting just enough to drip thin, smooth ribbon onto her inner thigh. Y/n's breath caught at the cold touch, and before she could protest, his tongue followed, tracing the path, licking up the sweetness, savoring the shiver it drew from her.

He repeated the action on her other thigh, his tongue swirling around the ice cream before he licked it off her skin. His hands gripped her hips tightly as he spread her legs wider apart without warning - exposing everything to him under the kitchen lights.

“J-jamie...” she moaned, her hand finding his hair. “please”

Jamie smirked against her thigh, loving how desperate she sounded. He knew exactly what she wanted, but he wasn't about to give it to her just yet. Instead, he went back to the ice cream and dragged his fingers through it, gathering a bigger scoop before bringing it back to her core.

Y/n gasped, tugging at his hair. He slowly painted her folds with the cold, sweet treat before blowing gently on the ice cream covered area - making her squirm and shiver at the sudden temperature change. Only then did he lean in, flattening his tongue and lapping at her like she was his favorite dessert - ice cream and all.

“shit, James!” y/n's hips arched off the counter.

He groaned against her, the vibrations sending shivers through her core. The ice cream was melting quickly against her hot flesh, creating a sweet mess between her legs that he was more than happy to clean up. He circled her clit slowly, teasingly with his tongue while sucking gently.

He could feel her getting closer, her legs trembling around his ears. With one final long lick from her entrance to her clit, he sucked the sweet treat off her sensitive bud and pushed two fingers inside her - curling them upwards instantly hitting that spot that made her cry out his name loudly.

James hooked his fingers upward, hitting her g-spot deliberately as he sucked hard on her clit - the combination sending her over the edge instantly. “shit, I'm coming!" y/n cried out as she came apart on his fingers and tongue.

He didn't let up, riding out her orgasm with his mouth while his fingers kept moving inside her, drawing it out until she was a shaky, boneless mess on the counter. When she finally stopped trembling, he pulled back slowly, licking his fingers clean with a satisfied groan.

James stood up, his eyes dark with desire as he looked down at the woman splayed out on his kitchen counter. She was gorgeous, messy, and completely satisfied - at least for now. He unbuckled his belt slowly, his voice low and commanding: “Stay right there”

He pushed his pants and boxers down just enough to free his hard cock, giving it a few pumps. God, she looked so fuckable right now - all boneless and covered in melting ice cream and her own arousal. He stepped between her legs again, his tip nudging her entrance.

Without warning, he grabbed her hips and slammed into her completely sheathing himself in her wet heat with one thrust. “Fuck” he groaned, eyes rolling back slightly at how good she felt. He started to move immediately, setting a rough pace that had the counter shaking beneath them.

“shit, James!” she gasped. "Don't stop”

He wouldn't dream of stopping now that he was finally inside her again after days without this sweet pussy wrapping around his cock perfectly like it was made for him alone. He leaned forward catching her legs over his shoulders opening her wider for deep strokes that hit her cervix each time making them both moan loudly together.

Just as y/n broke eye contact to let her head fall back she felt something cold drip from her collarbone down one of her breasts. He had scooped more ice cream from the container with his free hand, drizzling it down her chest. James smirked slightly as he watched the melted ice cream drip down her chest, following it with his eyes before leaning down to lick it off her breast and up her neck before capturing her mouth in a messy kiss that tasted like vanilla and her.

Y/n gasped, fisting his hair in her hands. James loved how clingy she got during sex - her legs wrapping around his waist, her arms around his neck, her mouth always seeking his. He was fucking her hard and fast against the counter, ice cream smeared between them, and she was perfect. “Gonna fill you up…”

“shit, yes!” y/n said, her voice coming out in a tone that teetered between a squeak and a moan. “Jamie, please”

Hearing her call him Jamie during sex always did something to him. It was intimate, needy - exactly how he wanted her right now. He snapped his hips forward harder, hitting that spot deep inside her that made her eyes roll back. “Fuck baby…”

“James!” she cried out, nails digging into his shoulders. “I need to cum”

“I know you do, baby” He groaned, feeling her pussy clamp down on him desperately as he kept a punishing pace. He reached between them to rub her clit roughly with his thumb while he leaned down to bite and suck at her ice cream covered tits. “Come for me”

Y/n exploded instantly, her pussy squeezing him like a vice as she screamed his name. He loved how responsive she was - how she always came so easily for him. He kept fucking her through her orgasm, drawing it out until she was shaking and soaking wet. “Good girl…”

He felt his own orgasm building, his balls tightening as he chased his release. He buried his face in her neck, biting down hard on her shoulder as he came undone with a loud groan. He filled her up like he promised, pumping her full of his hot cum while his hips jerked against hers spastically.

James then pulled out slowly, watching as his cum leaked out of her red, swollen pussy. He looked down at their bodies - ice cream smeared on her chest, hickeys on her breasts, his release leaking down her thighs.

“Damn” y/n said softly and breathlessly.

James groaned in agreement, running a hand through his messy hair. “Jesus fuck” He looked at her for a moment before letting out a dark chuckle. “You're a mess,” He said, wiping some ice cream off her cheek with his thumb. “And I fucking love it”

“I'm all sticky…”

“Mmm, sticky and full of my cum” He smacked her ass lightly, smiling when she giggled. “And ice cream, don't forget the ice cream” He leaned in and licked her neck, tasting vanilla and sex.

Y/n giggled softly, lazily pushing at his chest because she was ticklish there. She couldn't help but love how he could be so dominating during sex then immediately going back to the doofuses she knew and loved.

James caught her hands, bringing them to his mouth to kiss her knuckles. He was hard again already - watching his cum leak out of her was honestly the hottest thing he'd ever seen - but he knew she needed a break. Y/n cupped his jaw, gently brushing his cheek with her thumb.

He leaned into her touch like a puppy, his eyes closing briefly as he enjoyed the gentle moment after their intense round of countertop sex. He turned his face to press a soft kiss to her palm before nuzzling against her hand like an affectionate puppy.

“I need a shower” she sighs.

“Mm, me too,” He said, looking down at their bodies again. “We're basically a porn scene right now,” He laughed softly, watching as more of his release leaked out of her. “You wanna shower together?” He asked quietly, already knowing what her answer would be.

“You want round 2 in the shower?” y/n smirked lazily as she slowly sat up on the counter, wrapping her arms around his neck.

James smirked back, wrapping his arms around her waist to pull her closer. “Baby, I always want round 2 with you,” He murmured against her lips before kissing her deeply. “And yeah, shower sex sounds freaking perfect right now” He lifted her up easily, carrying her towards the bathroom.

He carried her down the hall, kicking the bathroom door open. The warm spray of water filled the room in seconds as James reached in and turned the handle. Steam curled around them both.

He set her down gently, eyes dragging over her body like he was memorizing every sweet-smudged inch. “Get in,” he murmured, voice low, “before I put you back on the counter and start over”

Y/n stepped under the water, letting it wash over her skin, sighing as the heat melted the last of the stickiness away. James followed her in, shutting the glass door behind him. His hands were on her instantly - her hips, her waist, her jaw - pressing her back against the tiled wall as the water streamed over both of them.

Y/n’s breath caught. “James -”

He kissed her hard, water dripping from his hair onto her lips. “Round two,” he murmured against her mouth, voice deep and hungry, “and this time… no ice cream to distract me” His hands slid lower.

You traveled through the ranks of Starfleet quickly, as to be expected, and currently stood in front of Admiral Pike's office. You had no idea what this meeting could be about. You were on shore leave from your current assignment and you were hoping to be able to sleep in sometime this next week. You quickly shook those thoughts from your head as you raised your hand to gingerly knock on the door. Stifling your nerves, still feeling like you had been sent to the principal's office. 

“Come in,” called from the other side of the door and you took a breath to steady yourself. Entering the office you were taken aback to see a head of jet black hair already sitting in front of the Admiral. Waiting for his gesture before sitting, the two of you are too close for the formalities of Starfleet at this moment.

“I understand you’re on shore leave at the moment so we’ll make this quick. The USS Enterprise is getting ready to leave on a 7 year voyage, and Commander Spock has apparently waited until this very moment to choose his right hand, man.” You must have looked extremely confused considering the subtle taken aback look on Spock’s face. 

“I’ve kept quite an eye on you since you joined the Academy.” Spock finally spoke, and you allowed yourself to turn and look at him. “You hold a doctorate in botanical sciences and you wrote your dissertation on how we could take Hippomane mancinella and from removing one gene make a non-poisonous twin that could be used to restore coastal plains.” Spock paused for a second, glancing at Admiral Pike before continuing. “You are also my best friend, and I care very deeply for you. I hope you know that I have chosen you because you are the most logical choice for the job.”

You could feel a flush of heat spread rapidly across your face, slightly bowing your head towards him, “Thank you Commander Spock.” The slight twitch in the corner of his mouth was all you needed. 

“You also made Lt. Commander this year, you’re 24, certainly one of the youngest we’ve had in the current history of Starfleet,” Admiral Pike spoke again.

You looked back at him and cleared your throat, sitting up straighter in your chain, “Youngest to make Lt. Commander in the last 25 years,” a weight sat heavy on your chest as the sentence left your mouth. The real reason for your hesitation. 

“(Y/N) do you even realize how proud she would be of you? Even if you never joined Starfleet? You have her brains and her heart, and based on what I’ve heard from Spock here you’ve gotten one over on him more than once during sparring exercises.” 

“How long do I have to pack?” 

Three days later, you were before Spock once again. This time in an office of your own and quickly falling into a comfortable silence with the vulcan by your side. Both of your heads buried in your PADDS as you both had to finalize a few remaining documents and double check all incoming reports. You were tasked with helping Spock give out the assignments to everyone who stepped foot on the Enterprise. You painted a smile on your face and made sure everyone was where they were supposed to go. Noticing that your line was dwindling down you looked around for Spock, wanting to double check nothing else remained on your part before the USS Enterprise took off on her adventure. 

“(Y/N)?” A voice behind you half screamed your name and as you spun around your sights quickly fell on Uhura. You double checked that no one needed your assistance before sprinting over to her and enveloping her in a hug. “I thought you were away!”

“Admiral Pike called me back. I’ve been reassigned.” 

Her eyes widened as she stepped away from you in shock, “No way!” You frantically nodded as she let out an overjoyed squeal while dancing in place, “Thank god I'll at least have you for the next 7 years.”

After making a lap around the ship to make sure there were no stragglers you met Spock again, this time quickly falling in stride beside him and heading to the bridge. Quickly you were introduced to several faces you had never seen, before your eyes fell onto the man sitting in the Captain’s chair. 

A soft smirk fell on his face as he stepped toward you and pulled you into a hug, “Welcome aboard (Y/N). It’s good to have you home.” 

You pulled away from him, suddenly conscious of how many people were watching the interaction. “Thank you Captain. It’s good to be here.” Moving back to stand behind Spock you stifled the feeling of embarrassment that crept up within you. What would everyone think? He was your boss. 

Pulling out your PADD you read through a couple new reports that had started filing in while waiting for James to finish his speech and by the end of his rambling when Spock looked at his PADD all he needed to do was skim the documents and provide a signature. As he went to comment on the way you gave clear and concise instructions in response to any remaining questions in the correspondence he noticed you were already gone and there was no trace of you on the bridge.

Moments later Spock found you, already diving head deep into the research you couldn’t wait to explore. Prepping the built in greenhouse for any future plants that could cause significant problems.

“I see we are quick to begin our work,” Spock mused, hands behind his back as he stepped into what was now a barren tin can. 

“Yes!” You quickly stood from the container you were mixing starter soil in, “If we get to our next destination alive I want to be prepared,” You took a small step closer to Spock, lowering your voice hoping that no one else would hear. “I apologize for leaving the bridge so abruptly earlier. When Captain Kirk hugged me it made me extremely uncomfortable.”

“I understand the sentiment as I also do not fare well to public displays of affection.” Spock gave you that vulcan half smile again before walking over to where you previously were and picking up a pair of gloves.

*******************************

6 months in and Leonard was pissed. You had been a thorn in his side for 34 days now. For the last month he had tried hunting you down, but he didn’t even know where to start looking. Why did the enterprise even need a botanist? It was just one more patient that tested the remaining patience he had left. “Dammit Jim you promised me I would have (Y/N)’s physical exam done by the end of the week!” 

“I was just calling about that, if you want that done you’re going to have to make a house call.”

“Now why would I do that?”

“Because I might have not told them anything about being late for any sort of physical just to mess with you.”

Leonard sighed before bringing both hands up to his temples. 6 months in and he could already confirm he was going to die of a stroke. Jim was going to speed up that process tenfold if he continued with antics like this. There was some sort of virus going around the ship right now, he didn’t need to be making calls to random personal quarters. 

“When I get my hands on you.”

“Thank me later, Bones.” Leonard could hear the devious smile Jim held on his face through the comm and couldn’t help but instinctually roll his eyes as he was then told the two locations he could find you. Checking the time he was certain he would be able to find you at your quarters. He entered the turbolift and in his anger almost ran into Spock.

“Doctor.” Spock gave a subtle nod of acknowledgement.

“Commander.” The air was stiff around them. McCoy, not too sure why he didn’t like the Vulcan, maybe it was the coldness. He was so still in everything down to his breathing. Almost the complete opposite of the way a human reacts.

A lightbulb went off when he suddenly remembered that Spock was a science officer, the blue shirt had been in front of him multiple times this week and Leonard hadn’t made the connection until this very awkward moment.

“Commander Spock, one of the science officers, is late for their physical exam. I tried recruiting the Captain for his help in informing them, but apparently he’s just been playing games with me the entire time. Would you happen to know where I could find Lt. Commander (Y/L/N)?”

He didn’t miss the way the Vulcan’s eyebrows raised as he lifted his head from whatever he was reading on his PADD. Looking maybe a little too close, Leonard could see an almost quizzical look appear on Spock's face. “That is very unlike (Y/N). Some days I fear they may run a tighter schedule than me.” Spock only half spoke the latter sentence aloud, mostly musing to himself. Spock looked at the floor level the confused doctor chose and almost felt pity. Has Leonard McCoy really not met you yet? The thought was somewhat incredulous to Spock. You had to be the clumsiest human he had ever met. Sober you was almost as bad as an inebriated Jim. 

“You’re not going to find them in their personal quarters. I would start at the research library, if you don’t find (Y/N) there, go to the greenhouse.” The turbolift opened and Spock gracefully stepped out, “I wish you the best of luck Dr. McCoy.”

After getting somewhat lost from the library, Leonard finally found the greenhouse. He stopped at the door, not knowing what sort of protocol to follow, so he rapped on the door with the back of his knuckles. There was a moment of silence before he heard you call out.

“Come in,” The first thing Leonard saw when he stepped in was a giant computer system running a constant stream of intel from the plants you had collected on surface missions already. From soil hydrations, pH of the soil, humidity in different areas of the greenhouse. He looked around before seeing a pair of blue pants to his left and there you were, almost completely bent over. He didn’t even notice the trough like planter you were currently digging to the bottom of, all he could focus on was the way those blue pants clung to your body. From the roundness of your ass, his eyes trailed down to your thighs, further down to where your pants just ever so slightly flared at your calves.

“Need some help there Darlin’?

Your head quickly popped out of the planter, the blush you were currently experiencing, exacerbated the redness of regaining blood flow to your head again. Leonard felt his heart skip, his eyes grazed over you before he cleared his throat, “Are you Lt. Commander (Y/L/N)?”

“Yes I am, may I ask-”

“Leonard McCoy, CMO.” he stated gruffly before you could even finish your question, trying to push down the reaction he felt when he made eye contact with you. He didn’t need to feel anything for anyone right now. He had a job to do dammit and that job didn’t involve any sort of personal relationships.

“Oh.” You briefly looked down at your feet, the solid exterior slightly putting you off after the semi-sweet first impression he had going for him. “Well, if the CMO had to come all the way down to the greenhouse for me then it must be important. How can I be of service?” You moved closer to him, away from all the plants, and suddenly he could smell the florals on you. 

Oh god. Leonard definitely didn’t want to answer that last question. The images of you bent over that ungodly sized planter was almost enough to do him in. He didn’t know what was going on with him. “You’re late for your 6 month physical, and typically I wouldn’t hunt down a patient over something like this but you’re over a month late and you’re the last one.”

“A month?” You had to keep yourself from screeching, “I am so sorry. I can be up there first thing tomorrow morning? What time would you like me to be at med bay?”

Leonard scoffed, “Are you serious?”

“Very much so. Why would you think that I wasn’t being serious?” You looked up at him, before sitting at your desk and pulling up your schedule. “I’m assuming that 0600 is probably too early,” and Leonard couldn’t agree more, he would need to be wide awake when dealing with you. “I’ll be having my lunch around 1300 tomorrow, does that time work with you Doctor?”

Leonard felt a hitch in his breathing at the use of his title. Breathing has never been this hard for him, even when he thought he was head over heels for Jocelyn, “T-that works just fine with me, and I promise not to take up your entire lunch.”

“I’ll hold you to that Doc.” you winked at him and he watched as you added the appointment into your daily schedule. Leonard cleared his throat once again and quickly turned, leaving you back in the serene peace of the greenhouse. Realizing the time you started packing up your things, making your rounds through the nursery and checking all the levels one more time just to be safe.

***********************

Leonard had a hard time sleeping. You had a 3 minute conversation and yet you were now consuming his dreams. He kept getting pieces of what he saw last night flooding his mind as he had down time in med bay.

Checking your pulse he couldn’t ignore the feeling of your heartbeat increasing ever so slightly. “You sure you’re feeling okay Darlin.?” He couldn’t help but notice the blush that spread across your skin, covering your cheeks and nose. 

His fingers still resting on your carotid, you looked up at him from the examination bed you were currently sitting on, your eyes wide and playful, “I’m not too sure Dr. McCoy, that’s why I came to see you.”

“Is that right?” Leonard mused as he held eye contact with you, his hand slowly moving to grasp your neck, his thumb gently brushing against your lower lip-

“Bones!” Leonard was snapped out of relishing his dreams by Jim, yelling his name and flapping around his arms like he was on fire. Truth be told he didn’t even see his best friend walk in.

“Jim, what is so important that you had to come and bother me during the middle of the day?”

Jim softly slumped in the chair in front of his friend, feigning hurt at the abrupt shutdown of his antics. “So, did you make that house call?” Jim couldn’t help the smile that crept on his face. Being close to the both of you only made it easier for Jim to plan the beginning of this masterpiece.

Leonard hummed to himself, mulling over the question his friend had asked, “I did, in fact the Lt. Commander agreed to come in for their physical exam later today.” Leonard released almost a half smile as he thought of seeing you again.

“That's all?” Jim had stared at the man before him bewildered. “Bones! I was trying to set you up together! You’d be perfect for each other, and you never know, (Y/N) could be your-”

Leonard could already see where Jim was going with this and he didn’t need another lecture on his love life from Jim, “You know I’ve given up on that, besides…”

“Besides?” Jim waved his hand in the air, trying to coax the last of the sentence out of him.

“She’s only 24, Jim,” he lowered his voice, “What would everyone think of me? They’d never let me speak at the Academy again!”

“Bones, she’s a grown woman who can make her own decisions. Even if nothing happens between the two of you, you could still use another friend. I mean when I’m all you got,” Jim gestured up and down his and shook his head. “It must be rough for you.”

“Thank you for that Jim. Now please, leave my office.” Leonard started on the paperwork he had waiting for him, not even really minding if Jim stayed, as long as he dropped the subject of you.

“Yeah, it probably is time for me to be somewhere else. I’m serious Bones, Maybe just try and get to know (Y/N) outside of the med bay. I think you’d be in for a pleasant surprise.”

Leonard couldn’t help but roll his eyes, ignoring the pit in his stomach as the scenes of you unburied themselves in his mind.

*******************

As much as you tried to focus on the report in front of you, you couldn’t help but think of the gruff doctor who visited you last night. The goosebumps that covered your body whenever he maintained eye contact with you made you want to jump him. A shiver rolled down your back as you were reminded of the southern drawl that hung in the air after he called you that damned nickname. Darlin’. Sighing you ran a hand down your face, trying anything to pull your thoughts away from the doctor who made a special late night trip just for you. 

“(Y/N) is everything okay?” Spock was now in front of your desk.

You let a tired smile hang on your lips and you rolled your eyes as the vulcan was still trying to decipher what human emotion you were feeling, “Just feeling a little worn down with the pace I’ve been holding the past couple months. I should probably try to slow down sooner than later.”

“Did Dr. McCoy find you last night?” Spock was now staring intently as you almost choked on the sip of coffee you were trying to enjoy. 

“I didn’t even know I missed the physical exam, how did you?” You stared back with the same intensity as your vulcan friend, before he finally caved.

“He almost ran over me getting on the turbolift looking for you. Apparently Captain Kirk was supposed to inform you it was due and Dr. McCoy suggested the captain had been avoiding telling you just get one over on our Chief Medical Officer.”

“Sounds like something James would do,” you ended the conversation and Spock was almost at the door before you spoke up again, “Commander Spock, I was hoping to take a few personal days at the end of this week. I can make sure everything is set and running on its own, but it’s…” you hesitated, not wanting to say the words out loud. It was crazy to you, still being affected by a day like this. To everyone else but you, two days from now would just be a regular work day. You cleared your throat, wanting to try to make it through the sentence without unleashing too many human emotions on the vulcan you held near and dear. Forgetting that if anyone understood what you were feeling, it would be Spock. “It’s her birthday.”

“I understand Lt. Commander. I also have times where the pain seems all too fresh. Your personal days are granted,  just send them to me in a formal request so we have the documentation.” You nodded your head in agreement, double checking the time, you were surprised just how fast it passed, and if you hurried, you could bring a coffee for the doctor.

Walking into med bay you held the hot coffee in your hand and smiled at the nurse who greeted you, you recognized her as Nurse Chapel, she did the exams for your transfer to the USS Enterprise. “I have an appointment with Dr. McCoy.” 

She smiled at you from the sign in desk and handed you a PADD to start filling out some general information on. “I am sure glad to see you Lt. Commander, Dr. McCoy has been going a little bit overboard trying to make sure everyone’s physicals are up to date. You’re the last one left.”

“Well hopefully once this is over Dr. McCoy can finally find something to help him relax.” You smiled at her as you handed the PADD back, she led you to a quiet exam room and assured you that the doctor would be in to see you in just a few minutes. You could feel the slight downward pull at the corners of your mouth as you glanced at the cup in your hand. “Please let Dr. McCoy know not to keep me waiting too long, unless he enjoys cold coffee.” Nurse Chapel laughed before patting your hand and walking out of the room.

You didn’t like med bay, hospitals, or anything that had to do with patching people up and hoping you’re fixing them. The white sterile room bringing up feelings of uneasiness. You looked around, setting the coffee down next to the PADD that was already in the room and taking a seat on the exam room bed. Sitting on the edge with your legs dangling you watched the clock on the wall tick. 

After two minutes of staring at the clock on the wall your comm went off. “Lt. Commander (Y/L/N)?”

You knew what it was, you had been eating lunch with Spock every day for the last 6 months. “I’m still in med bay, my appointment was until 1300 so I’m here just a little bit early. I promise as soon as i’m done here-”

Your voice faded out as Leonard walked into the room. “I’ll let you know when I am done in med bay Commander Spock.” Your eyes locked with Leonard as he stood in the doorway to the exam room, politely waiting for you to finish your conversation. Once he had your full attention you looked back at him giving a sheepish smile as he walked into the room. “I made you a coffee. It’s a flat white.” You gave a soft sigh as you revel in your thoughts for a moment. 

Leonard took in a breath when he saw the perfect white dot sitting in the caramel colored foam. “Flat whites are my favorite,” he turned to you as he took the first sip of his coffee. You were sure you were still in a dream when you saw the corners of Leonard's eyes scrunch, followed by a deep hum in his chest. Your eyes flicked down to his torso, admiring how the blue shirt clung to his broad shoulders. Following the lines of his body down you watched how his chest flexed as he turned to reach for the PADD behind him. 

“So, it says here you’re a month due for a physical exam. You’ve been on several away missions in the last 6 months, if you keep going at this pace you’re probably going to have to get a physical every 3 months.”

You couldn’t help but let out a small chuckle, quickly apologizing once you saw the frown reappear on his face, “My apologies Doctor, it was just funny to me how I mentioned to Commander Spock that I needed to slow down. I’m not as spry as I was in my academy days.” 

Leonard couldn’t help but let out a deep laugh at your comment, “(Y/N) you’re 24, you’re still young and spry.”

“Dr. McCoy I was officially accepted into Starfleet Academy at 12, I have a PhD in botanical sciences and I’m the youngest person to achieve the rank of Lt. Commander in the last 25 years. I haven’t slowed down. I cut my month long shore leave down to 3 days to be transferred from the USS Scovil to the Enterprise. How many away missions have I been on?”

“43,”

“That’s 7 a month for the last 6 months. Honestly, Spock is surprised I didn’t end up down here sooner.”

“So am I, some of those away missions ended up hostile, how did you just dip under the radar?” Leonard was now taking the time to read through most of the reports on file for you. He didn’t even realize you had been on any of these, without any checkups in between.

“My mom was Captain (Y/M/N) (Y/L/N).” The prestige of her name floated through the room and you watched as Leonard took what brief information he had about you and put the pieces together, “I’ve been training in hand to hand combat since I could walk. I am perfectly capable of defending myself with every weapon on this ship. I’ve taken on Spock and won.”

Leonard was now standing in front of you, gently pressing his fingers to your neck, staring at the watch he still wore on his wrist, “What’s the deal with you guys anyway? Ya know the people on this ship don’t know how to keep anything to themselves, they like to whisper.”

“You should have heard what they were saying about Jim and I after he hugged me on the bridge in front of everyone,” you wanted to sigh at the feeling of his skin on yours, a tingling sensation seemed to linger wherever he touched you, “With Spock it’s different. We both have the same mark, like matching same sides, not opposite sides. One night I was studying for the Academy and prepping for my dissertation. I had a few and ended up laying on my balcony outside pondering the woes of life. It was the first time Spock told me I was his best friend, and I made a stupid joke about how we were halfmates. That was 5 years ago.” A fond giggle fell from your lips as Leonard removed his fingers. 

He pulled out his tricorder and started scanning you, “I know it’s weird for people to see a vulcan and a human so close, but that night Spock explained to me that finding someone with the same mark as you was almost as rare as finding your soulmate.”

A scoff fell out of the doctor’s mouth as he motioned for you to lay back, pulling out a hologram screen to run a full body scan, “You actually believe in all that bullshit?”

You could feel a blush creeping up your neck, you felt like you were on fire under his hazel gaze, “Yeah. My parents were, and from what I remember they were always so happy, my dad never remarried. He was her #1.  On and off the ship. I see the same thing in the way Spock and Uhura look at each other when the other isn’t looking. I hear the way Sulu talks about his husband. Besides,” you waved your hand in the air, needed to catch your breath as the doctor held your gaze, “They’re a soulmate, if I don’t find them in this lifetime, I’ll find them in the next.”

You wanted to disappear, watching the look on Leonard’s face morph ever so slightly into a different emotion as you explained yourself. You couldn’t help yourself from flickering your eyes down to his slightly parted lips. Never have you ever wanted to kiss someone as badly as you wanted to reach up and kiss Dr. McCoy right now.

“I guess I’ve never thought of it like that,” Leonard spoke his thoughts out loud while he looked at the reports that had generated in front of him. “I was married, she wasn’t my soulmate, but I loved her. Thought she loved me too. I think she did at one point, but from what I’ve heard, nothing’s the same after you meet “the one.”” Leonard placed air quotes and he turned to look at you, “You’re clear to go. Everything looks great.”

You sat up and Leonard offered a hand to help you down, “Thank you for the coffee, I’ve dreamt of having a coffee that good since we’ve been on this floating tin can.”

You couldn’t help but let a smile grace your features, “Thank you, it feels really great to be complimented on something that doesn’t revolve around my work  for the Federation.”

“Anytime Darlin’” Leonard let go of your hand to open the door, leading you back out to the med bay waiting area.

“I guess I’ll see you in 6 months,” you couldn’t help how your smile slightly faltered as you realized your time with Dr. McCoy was coming to an end.

“If you go on that away mission next week, then I expect to see you much sooner than that.” His eyes scanned your features, his hand still resting on the small of your back.

Thankfully the waiting room was empty and even though it was your second time meeting this man all you could think about was how intoxicating he was. His eyes seemed to drink you up, he smelled like whiskey and spice, like cinnamon and anise, and your back, it was still tingling from where his hand last rested. “Then I promise you will see me sooner than six months, Doctor.” Noticing how Leonard seemed like you hit the pause button after you used the title, it almost looked as if he was short-circuiting. 

You glanced at the time, noticing you only had half of your lunch hour left. Spock! You stepped away from Leonard and smoothed out your uniform. “Thank you for taking the time to see me today, and for informing me last night,” You gave him a soft smile, “Maybe I can bring you another coffee sometime.” 

Your nerves grew as you watched Leonard fold his arms over his chest before you saw a twinkle in his eye, “I think I would like that very much.”

“Great! Sounds like a date!” You called over your shoulder, you didn’t see the way Leonard flinched at the word ‘date, or the way he stared after you for a couple seconds longer than he should have.

**********************************

4 months later and you now had a pretty solid routine going, you and Leonard were spending more time together, mostly due to you. Every Friday morning you would meet him in his office, coffee in hand and the two of you would sit and talk about work, while you approved reports from the following night. This was an easy transition for you, and on fridays you couldn’t meet, it almost felt like you were going through withdrawals until you saw him again.

This Friday was different. The previous night you ended up spiking a fever along with a few other symptoms like chills and nausea. Spock knew you didn’t like the med bay but he also trusted you enough to know he wouldn’t need to restrain and carry you up to med bay, unlike the Captain. So he sent you away and let you know to contact him in the morning about how you were feeling.

From the second you opened your eyes it felt like someone had laid a 50lb dumbbell on your skull. All lights and sound hurt, even the dim lights around the floor in your cabin had you digging around, looking for a pair of sunglasses. You reached for your comm, “Commander Spock, are you awake?”

“Lt Commander, you know you can call me Spock when we are off duty.” There was a brief moment of silence before he started speaking again, “(Y/N) why are you whispering?”

“I have a migraine, and while my fever is gone for now, the nausea hasn’t subsided at all. I’m calling out sick today.” You chuckled as you reminisced the last time you fell ill during the course of your friendship with Spock. It was the week before you graduated with your PhD, he didn’t believe it when you didn’t show up to class at the Academy. He came home, expecting you to be out, prematurely celebrating your success. Instead he found you quite literally on death’s door. Meningitis, you had ignored the symptoms for about a week, something that Spock continuously lectured you on during your multiple day stent in the ICU. 

“If it gets any worse, I promise I will have you come drag me to med bay if need be.” It took all you could not to wince while you tried to smile at Spock through your comm, hoping he could hear the smile in your voice and not worry too much.

“I look forward to your recovery (Y/N), I don’t know how long I can handle Jim by myself.” The vulcan let out a very human sigh, and you felt a twinge of guilt roll through you as Spock went silent on the other end. 

“I promise Spock, I’m not going to let a migraine and some small stomach bug take me out. I’m resilient.” You turned off your comm before pulling the sunglasses off and laying back down in your bed, already exhausted just from walking across the room. You slowly sank back into your sheets, pulling both a pillow over your eyes and your comforter past your head, trying to drown out any ray of light that could attempt to sneak in.

******************

Leonard was becoming worried, you weren’t ever late for your friday coffee meetings. That’s what Leonard considered them. Meetings, you sat together, always drinking a new drink or new coffee from some of the friendlier planets in the solar system. Leonard was amazed when you told him about the multiple coffee plants you had in the greenhouse, hoping to one day be able to cultivate them. They were meetings, always revolving about what the other did the previous week or what new thing was currently bogging down your workload. Leonard was a gentleman, he wouldn’t consider the friday morning coffee ritual as a date, he had never formally asked you on a date, and at this point it was clear to him you didn’t seem very interested in taking this friendship any further than that. Just friends.

He debated walking back out into the waiting area to see if you were there. You didn’t even sign in on Fridays anymore, after the first couple weeks you would just walk into his office, coffee in hand, PADD tucked to your side. His thoughts were brought back to the conversation you had last week.

“Morning,” You greeted as you walked into his office, Leonard immediately noticed you looked off. Leonard didn’t know if he could tell because he was trained in recognizing the signs of when someone was sick or if he had just been around you enough to notice the subtle differences. You hair was thrown into a low bun, you seemed to be more slouched and you looked as if you were walking through mud. 

“Mornin’ Darlin’” Leonard echoed your sentiment back as you pulled one of the chairs from in front of his desk so you were sitting right beside him. A yawn pulled itself from you as you sat the mugs down on the desk. 

“It’s hot chocolate today,” you looked down at your hands, suddenly bashful at the thought of disappointing him with no coffee in sight, “I just don’t think I can handle the caffeine today, it’s practically the only thing I’ve consumed the past 4 days and I wanted something to make me feel better,” you were almost whispering at the end of your sentence. 

Leonard wrapped his arm around you as laid your head on his shoulder, finding solace in the crook of his neck. You were so still and quiet he could have convinced himself you had fallen asleep if it weren’t for the feeling of your eyelashes brushing the exposed skin of his neck every couple of seconds. He noticed how pale you looked, the dark circles forming under your eyes. 

He wanted to lecture you about taking care of yourself. You should know how much sleep you should be getting, but he couldn’t bring himself to say anything. He knew it wasn’t what you needed. He was okay being your comfort at this moment, Lord knows you’ve done it plenty of times for him. Sneaking into his quarters after hours to listen to him rant after a particularly long day, He fell asleep on your lap once, he awoke to a note from you. It was an emergency, some ensign removed the wrong plant from the nursery and potentially exposed the entire staff in the greenroom to a noxious gas the plant emitted when it wasn’t mature enough to be transferred out of the nursery.

“Len,” You mumbled against his neck. He couldn’t help the way his heart swelled at the nickname. He hummed in response to you, “I grew the cocoa beans used to make that hot chocolate and if you don’t drink it I might actually cry from exhaustion. He couldn’t help the involuntary chuckle that bubbled out of him. He grabbed his mug as you sat up again, taking a sip, it was the best hot chocolate he had ever had the pleasure of drinking. He watched as you pulled out your PADD, checking the cameras in the greenhouse, before standing abruptly. 

“I have to go. I’m so sorry but if that ensign is about do what I think he’s doing then I could lose almost a year's worth of research!” You moved so fast you forgot all about the hot chocolate, leaving your favorite mug on his desk. 

Leonard still had the mug, he hadn’t been able to find an appropriate time to drop by your quarters to return it, but he also didn’t want to intrude on your work. You always made sure to come in before the med bay opened and unless you were getting back from an away mission, you didn’t hang around the med bay waiting for the chance of a quiet moment with Leonard. It was quite pleasant for him actually. Knowing that you could both go off and do your jobs, before reconnecting with each other gave him confidence in your relationship, friendship. He means friendship. 

Leonard wiped the tired from his eyes once again before stepping out of his office. Ready to take on the day, his light just slightly dulled this morning without his ball of sunshine bounding through the door before his work had to begin. Today was going to be a long day. He grimaced, his frown deepening and the lines on his forehead etching themselves a permanent figure of the day. 

**************************

It was finally lunch time, and Leonard had made up his mind hours before that he was going to use his lunchtime wisely and find you. His first stop was the green house, a couple of science officers were around as well as a handful of ensigns. He had walked the perimeter of the greenhouse, not finding you anywhere, not that he needed to look. Most of the time he just knew if you were somewhere. He was always able to find you. Even at the lavish holiday party the captain held for everyone Leonard was able to find you within minutes. He stayed by your side the whole night. He even danced with you a couple of times.

Lost in his thoughts he didn’t notice he caught the attention of Commander Spock until it was too late. “Dr. McCoy, is there anything I can help you with?” 

McCoy had a sinking feeling in his gut when he lifted his head up and saw Spock sitting at your desk, reading down a thorough check list to be completed by the end of the day. “I’m just looking for (Y/N). We usually do coffee in the morning on Fridays but they didn’t show up today. At all. Usually they’ve already contacted me and we would have rescheduled.” Leonard was still unsure how much he could trust the Vulcan so he wasn’t willing to go into further detail than that.

“(Y/N) has told me about the early morning rendezvous with you. They greatly appreciate them.” Spock straightened himself, separating the emotions from the conversation. “Lt. Commander (Y/L/N) is sick. I sent them to their quarters yesterday after they developed a fever. Today they told me their symptoms were a migraine and nausea. They are extremely prone to migraines, most days the Lt. Commander can just work through them,”

“(Y/N) is sick?” It’s not that Leonard didn’t believe the vulcan but he had even seen Spock sick during this last year on the ship, but you hadn’t even visited med bay once with even a case of the sniffles. Hell, because of Jim, even he had to be quarantined at least once in the last three months, “Any other symptoms I need to know about?”

“Not that I am aware of Dr. McCoy. However it seems the Lt. Commander’s migraines have become slightly more frequent in the last couple of months.”

Leonard took a mental note of what the vulcan was saying and his next mission was to get to your quarters. He had noticed last week you didn’t look like your usual self, now he was kicking himself for not pushing you to get checked out. He let his emotions for you get the better of him and he just focused on finding you. He was the CMO. He shouldn't be letting romantic emotions cloud his judgment when it comes to patient care.

Arriving at your door, Leonard gave a brief knock, waiting in the silence of the corridor to hear you call out, but there was no response, he tried his comm, “Lt. Commander (Y/L/N), Commander Spock informed me you were sick, I’m here to just make sure you’re doing okay.” No response, remembering the last time your comm went silent, a shudder ran through Leonard. 

Another away mission, Jim said he confirmed the planet was abandoned, the only forms of life the Enterprise found were plant and animal life. Of course that turned out to not be the case and soon everything went to shit. Leonard already had his hands full with red shirts needing stitched up when everything stopped. 

Jim and Sulu bust through the med bay doors, your limp body being held up by the two of them, “She was walking just a few seconds ago, but now she’s limp!” He watched Jim’s pleading eyes flickering around for anyone who was available to help. Spock was following behind and when it seemed like Jim and Sulu were about to lose their battle with supporting your dead weight, Spock stepped in and scooped you up. Cradling you in his arms like a child.

Leonard couldn’t do anything for the first 30 seconds, watching the way your body just hung there, no movement from you except the extremely quick and labored breathing you were exhibiting. He fully didn’t know what he was doing until he just left the red shirt sitting in front of him, having one of the nurses continue the stitches he was currently working on. When he finally reached you, it was hard to determine what blood was yours and what wasn’t.

Spock laid you on the closest open bed and Leonard began scanning you, with not only his tricorder but his eyes as well. He placed two fingers on your neck and closed his eyes, ignoring the tingling that started small in his fingertips and worked its way up his arm. Your pulse was strong and the sense of relief Leonard felt was strong enough to clear his head, though he still had to focus to not drop to his knees. 

Looking at the PADD with your scans, he had to have looked visibly confused, because both Spock and Jim had tried to peek over his shoulder to read your medical information on the device in his hand. “She has no external injuries, and I can’t find any internal bleeding. What happened out there?”

Jim spoke first, “It was an ambush, they were waiting to show themselves until we hit the ground. (Y/N) had already made a break for the treeline, she was looking for a specific plant. They came out of nowhere, and Scotty was trying to beam us all out but he couldn’t get a steady signal on (Y/N). They were engaged in battle, 3 on 1. It didn’t stop until she-” Jim suddenly stopped his account of what happened on the foreign planet, almost too afraid to finish his sentence. 

“We were finally able to get a steady signal and beamed them to the transporter, only after Lt, Commander (Y/L/N) had been thrown into a tree,” Spock finished for the Captain.

“I could have taken them if Scotty and Chekov hadn’t been yelling in my ear the entire time.” You slowly opened your eyes, bracing yourself for how bright the room surrounding you would be. “And it was 4 on 1 James.” There it was again, you were the only person who could get away with calling the Captain by his government name. 

The breath Leonard didn’t know he was holding released as he made his way to your side, “From what I heard, you kicked ass down there.” 

A sheepish smile was your response, he didn’t know why, but he needed to be close to you, he would have sat down on the bed and pulled you into his chest if he didn’t have his current audience. “You hit your head pretty hard (Y/N), and while it doesn’t look like a concussion I want to see you back here in 3 days just to make sure nothing else is going on.”

Leonard was pulled back into the present by your door opening, and there you were, gorgeous. Leonard couldn’t help the small smile he felt when he looked down at you. Noticing the way your messy locks fell around your face and the out of regulation pajamas you were wearing. The dark circles under your eyes more prominent now than they were last week.

“Len, what are you doing here?” You shielded your eyes from the brightness of the hallway. Wincing in pain when you tried looking up at him.

“Spock told me you were sick. I came to check on you.” A soft shrug from him and he didn’t miss how you seemed too tired to even roll your eyes at your boss for ratting you out to the CMO. You motioned at him with your hand before turning and walking back into your quarters. 

Leonard had never actually been inside your living space until now, and he couldn’t help but feel immediately at home. Photos hung on your walls, photos of you from medical school, at the academy, there was one that caught his eye immediately. You and Jim, while both younger than you are now, were instantly recognizable. Jim was holding you on his shoulders, you held your PhD in your hand. Your joy in the photo emanating into the real world. Then he saw it, your mark. 

Perfectly placed inside your wrist, he stepped closer, he could hear his blood swishing in his ears as he finally put two and two together. There it was, staring at him. He now had proof that his entire life you had been the one he was waiting for. An uneasy feeling sank over him. He just needed to push everything down. He was a doctor, he had a job to do, and he wouldn't let this discovery change anything.

**********************

You watched as Leonard looked around your small apartment, he was currently observing the photos on your walls. You were tired, you laid down on your couch and pulled a blanket up past your head. Your migraine now just a dull throb at the back of your skull. You could now hear Leonard shuffling around your kitchenette. When you finally pulled the blanket down you could see him standing in front of you.

There was a mug in one hand, and a tricorder in the other. “Leonard, I promise I’m fine. It’s just a migraine.”

Leonard scoffed before setting the mug down, “According to Commander Spock, your migraines have been more frequent lately, he also mentioned a fever and nausea.”

“Spock can’t keep his damn mouth shut can he?” You replied before moving into a sitting position and allowing the doctor to scan you. You hummed as his hand brushed across your wrist, immediately finding the spot to check your pulse.

“I was worried about you, ya know,” Leonard softly spoke. “When you didn’t show up this morning I knew something was wrong,” his sentence ended in a mumble of words. You couldn’t help but reach up and place a hand on his cheek. 

“I apologize for making you worry, Doctor.” This time, you could feel his jaw slightly clench and you watched his Adam's apple bob as he swallowed. 

“(Y/N),” you noticed he was closer now, hovering mere inches from your face. 

“Yes Leonard?” You could hear the catch in your breath as you spoke. His breath fanned across your face, the mintiness from brushing his teeth still lingering. The proximity of being so close had your heart going crazy and you couldn’t seem to think straight. As quickly as the moment started, he ended it. Pulling away and tucking his tricorder into his hip. 

“Well, everything seems fine, and nothing is broken.” He made his way to your door. “Drink the tea, and take it easy for the next couple of days,” and with that he opened the door and walked away.

******************************

You hadn’t seen Leonard for two weeks, even on your last away mission he had someone else do you exam. He wouldn’t even come out of his office while you were in med bay. The daily throb in your heart of the rejection didn’t stop your stride but it definitely slowed it. You were second guessing yourself and you couldn’t seem to focus unless you had someone else to hold you accountable. You slept more these days, not being able to stay late in the greenhouse for the fear that your mind would start to wander and then you had your heart breaking all over again.

Sitting in the mess hall with Spock at lunch you were approached by an ensign. A yellow shirt, and when you looked behind him, you could see Sulu intently watching the interaction unfolding in front of him. “Lt Commander (Y/L/N), I was hoping I could invite you to the party we’re having tonight.”

You smiled up at him, intending to find a way to gently let him down, when the unsuspecting doctor walked into the mess hall, and you couldn’t help but smirk, motioning him closer to you, you decided to just be honest, “Listen kid, I’m sure you’re great, but someone already has my heart.” You watched their face slightly falter, “However, they’re too stubborn to admit it, help me make him jealous and I think I can talk to the Captain about your incredible performance.” 

You weren’t expecting the quick nod of their head or the salute they sent your way from the table, keeping the smile on your face, you couldn’t help but laugh as Spock finally made eye contact with you. “I don’t see how you attending a party with a member from the flight crew could in any way make Dr. McCoy jealous.” 

You could hear the ensign talking to Sulu as Dr. McCoy passed their table, “She said yes!” The ensign looked back over at you and waved, you made sure an enthusiastic smile was planted on face as you waved back, pretending not to feel Leonard’s glare boring into you as you turned back to Spock, “Just like that Commander Spock.” The vulcan couldn’t help the sigh of disappointment. Why must the two of you make things so complicated?

       “Lt. Commander, wouldn’t it just be easier to tell Dr. McCoy, how you feel about him?” 

     You sighed, eyes bouncing around the room before landing down at the plate of replicated food in front of you, “I wish. He’s been avoiding me for 2 weeks now. Hell, the other day I helped another science officer to med bay and he wouldn’t even look at me,” you shrugged your shoulders before collecting your belongings, “I think maybe I should turn my affections elsewhere as Dr. McCoy has made it clear to me that he would no longer like a friendship with me, let alone a romantic relationship.” You turned on your heel, already done with the conversation and quite frankly done with the way your thoughts were constantly brought back to the man who wanted nothing to do with you.

     You didn’t even see Leonard approach your table at the end of your conversation with Spock, determined to outrun the wave of emotions you could feel rising up in your chest. 

******************

    The party was great, it really was, but you felt so out of place. Parties weren’t usually your thing and the ensign who asked you to the party quickly forgot about you as soon as you defended Spock in the middle of a heated conversation. Sulu ended up having to coax you away from the group as the insults toward your best friend kept coming, and you quickly rolled up your sleeves. 

“Hey, you’re okay, anyone who really knows Spock knows that he’s actually a really great guy.” Sulu rubbed your arm as he led you to the bar. “Plus, it would be a little uncomfortable to end up in med bay right now.”

You scoffed and could help the incredulous look you gave him, “I wouldn’t have ended up anywhere but my cabin. The best part is none of them would have even known who I was until Captain Kirk inevitably got involved, and I also know that James would throw himself on top of a live grenade for me.”

Sulu couldn’t help but roll his eyes at you before handing you one of the drinks he ordered, “You and the captain are close too?” 

“Yeah, he’s like an older brother. My mom and his dad were close, so he was over all the time when we were younger, he’s the one who pushed me to apply for my doctorate degree and even filled out a couple of applications behind my back, and he protected me more than once from creeps when he would sneak me into the bar with him.” You downed another drink the drink and looked at the crowd opposite of where you currently were, “I could still take him,” 

“How many of those have you had tonight?” Sulu nodded at the empty glass in your hand.

You shrugged, setting the glass back down on the bar, “I lost count about 30 minutes ago.”

The comment earned you another laugh from the man beside you and suddenly your comm went off, “Lt. Commander! It’s great to see you here!” Your head suddenly turned into a swivel as you scanned the party, looking for the biggest pain in your ass you had ever met. Someone grabbed your shoulder from behind you and reflexively threw them over you to the ground, before placing a foot on their chest to keep them on the ground.

The laugh that followed had smoke coming out of your ears and suddenly you were a teenager again, “Chekov! Don’t do that!” You couldn’t help but stomp your foot on the ground, “I could have hurt you!”

“Did you just stomp your foot? Are you throwing a tantrum right now?” You helped Chekov off the ground and you noticed how he had been grinning the entire time.

“How am I supposed to get any peace on this ship when I have a gaggle of men I have to constantly keep from killing themselves?” You feigned anger and dramatically threw your hand back to your forehead. 

“Well, who else would keep us in check if we didn’t have you?” The puppy dog eyes from both Sulu and Chekov broke past your resolve and you pulled both of them into a hug. Kissing both of them on the top of the head before pulling away.

“Who’s gonna take care of you when I’m gone? I’m 25 now, in my prime, someone could wife me up right now and I’d be whisked away in a flurry of love and babies.” You watched the horror spread over their faces and you couldn’t help but feel proud of yourself.

Chekov quickly dropped to one knee and you couldn’t help the feeling of embarrassment that filled you, a pit in your stomach forming and even with the threatening look on your face, the ensign didn’t move off the ground, “Well, if you’re going to get married, I think we both,” he paused and nodded at Sulu who couldn’t help the comical smile on his face as he stared at the scene unfolding in front of him. “Would prefer if you did get married that you wouldn’t be whisked away from us.”

You couldn’t help but laugh, the first real laugh you had experienced in weeks, and soon you were laughing so hard you had tears pricking at the back of your eyes, “You’re really taking marrying up to a whole new level,” you dropped into a squat, resting your body weight on your balls of your feet as you got within eye level of your friend, “You’re drunk Chekov, you wouldn’t remember this in the morning if you wanted too.” You gently pushed on him back by his forehead, as you expected Chekov, who was extremely drunk for this early in the night, fell backwards. What you didn’t expect was him flailing, grabbing you, and throwing you down the stairs from the bar after him. 

Everything that happened next was in fast forward as a group of people were on both of you, you could feel your face flush with embarrassment. As swiftly as the embarrassment settled, the overstimulation was sudden and you were going to freak out. There were too many people, people were trying to touch you, some trying to help you up, and everyone was speaking at once. You closed your eyes, you could feel an ache in your head, and something warm in your hair. You could hear James shuffling through the crowd, using his captain's voice to part the sea of swarming people. 

“(Y/N) are you okay?” You were lifted to your feet, wincing as he put pressure on your shoulder. James instantly repositioned the way he was supporting you. You quickly looked around and saw Chekov, he came bounding over to you as soon as you were up.

“Chekov, are you okay?” You reached up and started inspecting him, which earned you a laugh.

“I just tucked and rolled!” He spun in front of you as if to prove his point. 

“Yeah,” you suddenly noticed the pain in your shoulder was growing, “Wish I got a heads up,” you couldn’t help but laugh with the ensign and you rested most of your weight against your longest known friend. 

“(Y/N) you’re bleeding. From your head. We gotta go.” 

You looked up at him, trying to pull your best puppy dog eyes through the growing pain, “But James, it just got fun!”

“Remember when you said that after your commissioning?”

You groaned, you had been trying to forget about that night since it happened, you got drunk. Totally wasted with James at a surprise party he threw for you , cheering you on and even challenging you to go shot for shot. You fell off the second story balcony, thankfully into bushes, but nevertheless walked away with a concussion and a pretty nasty bruise that consumed most of your lower back. “Fine, let’s go.”

*********************

Jim regretfully walked you to med bay, he wondered if this is what he put Bones through everytime he got sick or injured, “What is going on with you tonight?”

“I really don’t want to go to med bay and I really really don’t want to see Leonard McCoy.” You automatically imitated the grumpy doctor, even furrowing your brows like he would.

“I thought you two were friends?” What had he missed, the last time Bones had talked about you, he thought the two of you had something, it was the most he had seen his friend smile in, well, the entire time he had known him.

You bellowed a dry, sarcastic laugh, “Yeah, me too.” You looked away from him, suddenly more interested in the floor than the conversation you were having, “I thought we could have been more,” you whispered under your breath. 

Jim stopped walking, turning your head so he could look you in the eyes, “(Y/N), Bon- Leonard is a complicated man. He doesn’t always know what’s best for him right away. Even when the best thing to happen to him is right in front of him.”

You shook your head, trying to break the look Jim was giving you, “No, it’s my fault. I thought he was going to kiss me. I read the signs all wrong, and now he hasn’t talked to me in 16 days, and now I’ve ruined a perfectly good friendship.” 

Jim wiped away a tear that started sliding down your cheek, pulling you into his chest and kissing the top of your head. You gently sobbed into his chest, trying to be quiet in the corridor with a few people still bustling around you. His heart breaking at seeing you this heartbroken. He had been there for other break ups, most of the time you rationalized it, even to him. 

‘It wasn’t meant to be’ was after Chandler, a snotty rich kid who tried desperately to buy his way into your pants. He tried using his dad’s rank to intimidate you, trying to use the power of someone else to make you do what he wanted. Even after you had broken things off, there were some nights you would still sleep on Jim’s couch, afraid to go back to your dorm. He wasn’t a problem for you much longer.

“She just wasn’t the one,” was after Savannah. Someone who you remained in contact with to this day. You were there when Savannah got her dream job, she thanked you in her speech when she graduated top of her class, and most importantly you were her daughter’s godmother. Every shore leave, every break from school, you made her and her family one of your top priorities. Jim had even seen you leave study groups or parties just to go spend time with her.

“My soulmate is still out there,” Was after Ashton. It had been a few years, Jim thought you guys were happy, but then came the inevitable. You stormed into his apartment, not even bothering to knock as there was nothing Jim was going to be doing that you hadn’t seen at least once already. He was married. You were humiliated, you didn’t go out unless you were going to school for weeks. Beating yourself up for not knowing. Jim had to remind you countless times that it wasn’t your fault, you had no idea of knowing that this man was married, hell Jim even did digging of his own after things got serious and he couldn’t find anything. 

He couldn’t help the look of pity he gave you as you pulled yourself out of his chest, wincing at the pain as he released you. “Whatever happened to the girl who could rationalize these things? Your other half is still out there,” he said softly.

More tears welled up in your eyes. You shook your head again, more violently this time, as if trying to shake the tears away. He couldn’t help but empathize with your sorrow. He would have put the pieces together himself if you had given him time, but you spoke again. “James, he is the one. And now he won’t even look at me.”

Jim’s eyes widened in disbelief. Never in the entire time of knowing you did he think you would ever say those words. It was supposed to be the two of you, lone wolves for the rest of your lives. “You really love him, don’t you?” he asked, pulling you into his side. You nodded, and he kept his arm around your ribcage for support, careful to avoid putting pressure on your shoulder. “And you should probably try to stop crying before we walk through that door.”

**********************

Walking into med bay, you couldn’t help but feel mortified at how you must look. You could feel the blood in your hair even more now, and you couldn’t even bear to lift the arm with the damaged shoulder. Not to mention how the makeup you wore for the night probably looked after you cried into James’s chest. You quickly glanced at him, stifling a laugh as you pointed at the mascara stain on the dress shirt he was currently wearing. 

“You think that’s funny?” You watched as he dramatically tried to wipe the makeup off his shirt. “Ya know, this better win me some brownie points.” 

You laughed harder at the comment, “Speaking of brownie points, I promised the ensign who asked me to the party that if he helped me make Leonard jealous I would put in a good for him with you.” You couldn’t help the dreamy smile that fell on your face just mentioning him, “Then he said Spock was an asshole and now I think we should just shoot him out into the void of space.”

“I forgot how mean you get when you drink.”

“Who else do we have tonight?” You didn’t want to turn around, the southern drawl in his voice was something you didn’t even notice how much you had missed until this very moment. You wanted to cower behind James, you wanted to run and hide. You wanted to beg James to turn around and patch you up in your quarters. Before you could speak, James did. 

“Well, I decided to throw a party and things got a little out of hand. The Lt. Commander was practically thrown down a flight of stairs. I think they have dislocated a shoulder and they’re bleeding. From the head.” 

You couldn’t stop yourself when you jabbed an elbow into his ribcage, pushing through the pain to let him know how you felt, “I’m fine, I just hurt a little bit.”

James poked you in the shoulder, using the littlest bit of pressure, causing you to rear back and stifle down a groan of pain, “You asshole!”

You didn’t miss the sigh or the eye roll from the handsome doctor in front of you, and now you were pissed. You were trying to have a good time tonight, and yet absolutely no one was able to take him off your mind, and now here you were, standing in front of him, looking like a complete mess, “Listen, you obviously don’t want me here, and quite frankly I don’t want to be here, so if you could just put my shoulder back in place so I can go away, that would be great.”  You sighed before turning away from them and finding the closest open bed, “Stop looking at me like that James, I can feel your eyes in the back of my head.” 

You couldn’t hop onto the bed without jostling everything that hurt, so you chose to plant yourself in one of the visitor chairs beside the bed. Your head resting back against the wall, closing your eyes and trying to prevent the tears trying to escape, the pain now moving toward the range of extreme and you finally touched your head. Pulling it away to inspect your fingers, there was the blood now sticky. You sighed, annoyed with the fact that showering after tonight was going to be hard.

********************************

Leonard pushed through the privacy curtain and for a couple of moments he just looked you over with his eyes. Jim had told him what happened. The thought of Chekov proposing, no matter how fake, seemed to enrage him. The thought of you with any man did that to him, not to mention the blatant flirting in the mess hall the other day. He wanted to track down the ensign who asked you to the party down, give him a piece of his mind. He wanted to let the ensign know that he shouldn’t be hitting on his woman.

But you weren’t his, were you? Jim let him know about the conversation in the hallway, how you cried after telling him how long it had been since he had been icing you out. Has it really been 16 days?  Jim told him he needed to fix it. Leonard wasn’t sure he could. How would he even go about letting you know that the only reason he was acting this way was so he didn’t break your heart. He was damaged, and had too much baggage for someone as sweet as you. He didn’t want to ruin you.

Looking at you now though, past the injuries of the night, Leonard realized that his way of trying not to cause you any harm was actually doing the most harm. Your eyes were closed, but still slightly puffy and tear streaks had etched their way onto your cheeks. The blood in your hair now drying and matting your hair together. From just looking at your current posture he wasn’t too concerned with any broken bones, but he suspected Jim was probably right about the dislocated shoulder. 

He cleared his throat to get your attention, watching closely as your eyes slightly opened. He didn’t miss the glimmer in your eye as you finally looked at him, and when you held his gaze Leonard let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding in. The need to be close to you reared its head again and it took all of his self control to not sprint the short distance to you. He sat on the med bay bed so he was closer to eye level. He didn’t really know what to say. 

“Hi,”

Your eyes widened and your mouth fell open at his opening line choice. “Hi? Are you fucking kidding me? Hi?” You threw your good hand in the air, wincing from the sudden change in posture, as you whisper screamed at him. The both of you knew there was an extremely high chance Jim was trying to eavesdrop on the two of you.

“What else am I supposed to say?” Leonard almost couldn’t believe himself, who says hi?

“Maybe, I’m an ass for not talking to you for 2 weeks but let me stitch up your head.”

“I am sn sss.” 

You huffed, sitting up straighter, “Or maybe, it looks like your shoulder is dislocated, let's get it back into place and get you out of here.”

“If that’s what you want me to do.” 

“Of course I want you to fix me! Why else would I drag myself down here?”

So you wanted to fight, Leonard could do that, “Oh, so you have to drag yourself down here?”

“Right now, yeah? I literally have no other choice!”

Leonard wanted to smirk, “So you only wanted me because you had no other choice?”

You gasped and looked at the ground, “You know that’s not what I meant.” 

Leonard stood, grabbing the PADD he had with him, “I’m not the one who said it.” 

“Yeah, and I’m not the one who made me fall in love with you.” Leonard froze, just barely able to hear you, you had dropped into a barely audible whisper. Leonard didn’t know if it was from fear of saying it outloud or hoping he wouldn’t hear it.

“Yeah, well what are you going to do about that?”

He watched as your head snapped up, and if looks could kill Leonard was sure his head would have exploded right then and there, “You’ve obviously already made your choice, so maybe just get me the hell out of here and transfer my care to someone else. That way you'll never have to see me again.”

He sighed, not really wanting to do this now, but it looks like he was going to have no other choice, “(Y/N)-”

“Save it. I don’t want to hear it, now please, just fix me enough so that I can go back to my quarters and shower, I need to get this blood out of my hair.”

“(Y/N)-”

“I’m serious-”

“If you would shut up you would know that I’m in love with you too!”

Leonard had never raised his voice at you before, and the look on your face made him regret it instantly. He crouched in front of you and cradled your face in his hands, “I am so head over heels for you Darlin’” He looked into your eyes, searching for anything other than the rage they currently held, “It scared me. That night in your room, when I saw the way you were looking at me, I knew. I never wanted anyone to look at me the way you did. I panicked. I ran and hid, hoping that if I just pushed everything down for long enough then-” He sighed again, his breath feeling like a cotton ball in his throat.

******************

You were pissed. Angry at Leonard for ignoring you, angry that you were in med bay, angry that Leonard wouldn’t shut the fuck up. You were trying so hard to move past the feelings you had for him, but you always seemed to end up right back in front of him. 

“Why?” You couldn’t stop your mouth from moving, even though in this moment you desperately wanted him to shut up. You could hear how tired he was, making the southern accent more prominent, making your heart swell. 

“Well, I’m broken. Told Jim that Jocelyn took everything in the divorce. All I got is my bones.”

“So that’s where the nickname comes from? James tries so hard to call you Leonard to my face, like the nickname is a secret or something.” You could feel the way he looked at you, choosing to focus on the nickname instead of anything else he just told you. “Leonard, we can continue this conversation later, but my shoulder really hurts. Please help me.”

Leonard helped you onto the bed, and slightly straightened you up. “Um, I need to take your shirt off, I need to see-”

You couldn’t help but blush. You had thought this before, not in this context. Your fantasies usually revolved around his office, in the shower, maybe you thought about you and him in the greenhouse once or twice, but never like this, “I’m gonna need some help with that.”

Leonard slowly pulled your arm out of the sleeve, and you almost thought you could see him shaking, “Len, I’m not made of porcelain.” You could hear him release the breath he was holding, his thumb dancing over your wrist. Soon enough you were topless, you could see a bruise forming. Your shoulder felt so wrong. You almost couldn’t describe it. It felt taut like it was being pulled, but you felt like you had no control, you couldn’t shrug if you tried. 

“This is gonna hurt, according to these scans not only is your shoulder dislocated but you have a torn AC ligament.” He laid you down, placing your arm down over the edge of the bed, and quickly pulling your arm into a 90 degree angle, while rotating your arm. You felt the relief as you heard your shoulder pop back into place. Then the hypo, and if your shoulder still didn’t throb a little you would have hit Leonard.

“That’s gonna help with the pain and swelling, and this one,” He stabbed you again, “Is gonna help with that ligament, but you cannot lift anything heavier than 15 pounds until I clear you, and because this can still affect your range of motion, we’ll still have to keep a close eye on it. Usually for a dislocated shoulder we would recommend a sling, but we’re going to need movement if you want to be able to maintain your current quality of life.”

“Okay, and the treatment plan?” You sat up and gingerly pulled your shirt over your head.

“Well the fact you were able to do that is a good sign.” He took a step back from you, “Stand up and hold your arms directly out in front of you,” You did, your left arm not reaching quite as high as your right hand, “Now out to the side,” again, the left shoulder not quite as high. “Drop them to your sides and shrug,” You almost couldn’t. Trying with all of your might to move your left side up to your chin. The smallest inch of movement had you content. 

“4-6 weeks,” Leonard smashed the contentedness. “I know, it seems like a long time, but (Y/N) losing range of motion for your line of work would hinder you in more ways than one. Even with the medicine we have, we can only speed up the human body's healing time by so much. If it was any worse I would have said 8.” He took a step closer to you and took your hand in his. “Now stop pouting and let me check your head.”

*****************************************

It had been 3 days since the last time you had seen Leonard, the longest amount of time the two of you had gone since that night in med bay. You had even spent the night once or twice. However, this time you weren’t anxious about it. He didn’t consume your thoughts like before and for the first time in weeks, you finally felt like you were back in your groove. You were on the last 2 week stretch of desk duty, and not surprisingly you were spending most of the time following Spock around, or wandering around the greenhouse, trying to politely remind people that your way was the right way and you were actively writing the protocol for this.

However, right now you were moping. Looking like someone ate your candy and you couldn’t help it. Everyone who you could bother during the day was gone. A new planet, going where no man has gone before, or whatever the excuse was. You just knew you were bored and there was no one around to entertain you. You soon found yourself wandering to med bay, hoping that you could catch a moment alone with Leonard. You waved at the nurse sitting at the desk, before making your way to Leonard's office. You knocked on the door and when you didn’t hear a response you slowly opened the door.

Stepping into the office you glanced around, it was empty. You frowned even more, wanting to fold your arms over your chest and huff. You made your way back to the desk and faced the nurse. “Where’s Dr. McCoy?”

“The captain asked him to join the team going down the surface today.”

“Oh, okay. Can you let him know I stopped by? He wanted me to come down for a follow up.”

The young boy sitting behind the desk smiled at you and straightened his posture a little, “Yeah, can I get a name? Lt. Commander (Y/N). Thank you.” You smiled back before heading back out into the hallway. 

Back in the greenhouse you couldn’t stay focused, wanting to wander and more than enough times trying to sneak in and help with the rearranging currently going on. Every time someone caught you and every time they threatened to tell Spock. Eventually you conceded, holing yourself away in your office. You couldn’t help the way you stared off into literal space. Not being able to keep your mind busy with anything work related, you decided to give up. You pulled out your PADD and started drawing. Focus every bit of [ent up energy into the smallest details on the pages… 

Just wanting something to keep you busy. And you were now in a field, it looked like home. Yellow dandelions and honeysuckle sprouting up everywhere, you could feel the cool grass beneath your toes. The wind was warm and steady. The sky was cornflower blue and white wispy clouds were scattered throughout. You finally felt calm. You closed your eyes, trying to breathe in the moment. A hand grasped yours, you looked over and there he was. The man who completely consumed your dreams. You could see it. This is where you spent most of your time, the space you went to in duress. 

The image shifted, now you were in a house. Your mom’s home. It smelled exactly as you remembered. You heard the kettle on the stove and made your way to the kitchen, laughter floated through the air. The kitchen now in view, your mom was now at the counter, filling a group of mugs that sat on the counter. Behind you at the kitchen island, stood Leonard, chopping vegetables and bantering with your dad.

The image rippled behind you, changing the scenery and you were still on earth, but this was your home. The place you started and the place you would end. When you decided to move to Washington, James helped you. Packed only what you needed and took the road trip with you, only along for the memories. Your homestead spread before you. Your eyes automatically drifted to the chicken coop. Leonard was there, several of your hens grouped around his feet as he spread bird seed for them.

“I don’t think chickens would be that big of a fan of me,” You jumped as Leonard made himself known behind you. You slowly made your way to him, suddenly anxious about the interaction, “I heard you were looking for me?”

You almost forgot, you laughed to yourself before explaining, “Yeah, it wasn’t anything important. I was bored, and both James and Spock were gone! I can’t do anything with this damn arm and I needed stimulation. I didn’t know James stole you too!” You lightly hit him in the chest and scowled, “I thought we had a rule.”

The doctor suddenly looked bashful as he stared at your feet, “There was an exception to the rule,” From behind his back, he revealed a plant. It looked like a venus fly trap, but it was maroon. “ “It looks like dionaea muscipula, but I’ve never seen one this color. Or as large.” You gently cradled the propagate in your hands, breathing gently as you inspected it. “Usually 10cm is the largest they get. This one could be significantly bigger.” You finally looked up at him, tears slightly welling up in your eyes, “Thank you,” 

Suddenly you were surrounded by him. His hand on your face, his smell swirling around, and most importantly his lips on yours. They were soft, a complete contrast to the finger grazing over your cheek. You couldn’t help but smile into the kiss as you leaned into him. He wrapped his free hand around your waist and pulled you against him. You were hyper aware of the feeling of his chest against yours, you swore your breathing was in sync. 

Leonard pulled away first, deciding that air was actually a vital part of his plan to have a future with you. He rested his forehead against yours, placing a chaste kiss to your nose, “Maybe I can get used to the chickens.”

*******************************

Leonard practically dragged you out to the turbolift. Only giving you a split second to stop by the greenhouse to drop off your new favorite thing. Surprised you were able to make the short ride to his quarters without your hands all over each other. He held your hand the entire time and you couldn’t help but notice how opposite the two of you looked. Leonard with a determined look taking over his features, he was desperate to be alone with you and he couldn’t stop bouncing as you waited to arrive at the correct floor. You, on the other hand, looked completely love drunk. Still reeling from the kiss, just happy to be near him and along for the ride.

He pulled you down the hallway and you did everything you could to stay on your feet as you tripped after him. He turned back to look before picking you up, tossing you over his shoulder and he resumed his pace. You let a giggle fall out of you, hanging over his back, staring at the floor. He hummed in response, and you couldn’t help but shake your head, knowing he couldn’t see you, deciding to keep this to yourself. He stopped, arriving at his door, and soon you were in the darkness and privacy of his personal space. The room is familiar in the dim lighting from the late night visits that happened occasionally. He continued, moving to a space you had never seen before, his bedroom.

You couldn’t help the flurry you were feeling in your stomach, suddenly aware of everything around you. Taking in what the room looked like, you could definitely see Leonard in the space, it was nicely decorated. The sheets looked soft, a rich phthalo green with matching comforter. The night stands were simply decorated, with a single light on each, one of them holding a photo of he and James at the Academy. The rest of the room had small trinkets, and a couple of dirty clothes were sitting on a chair in the corner. What really caught your eye was the small purple succulent sitting on his dresser.

“You put him on your dresser?” You couldn’t help but ask, knowing he would know exactly what you were talking about. The succulent was your first surviving propagation of its kind. You had affectionately named him ‘Jim’.

“Yeah, I brought him home that very day. I’ve been following all your rules. Even had Scotty set me up special lights so the little could get the effects on sunlight.” He set you down on the bed and looked at you, before stepping forward and weaving his way between your legs, currently towering over you. You wanted to drool, you were sure this was heaven. He was kissing you again, this time deeper than before, his tongue already begging as you moved your lips against his. Ever so slightly you moved back onto the bed, slowly lying down as Leonard climbed on top of you. His hands slowly moved up your shirt and you couldn’t help but try and press your body against his hands. Trying to desperately communicate the need for his touch.

“Len,” you whispered and he looked at you. His eyes softened as he took in the sight of you, a hand coming up to cup your cheek, you couldn’t help but pull him into a hug, pulling him down until his entire body weight was on top of you. You couldn’t help the contented sigh that fell from your lips as you embraced this feeling. He felt like a weighted blanket on top of you, bringing a sense of peace with him as your breathing synced together,  “I missed you.”

“I missed you too Darlin’” Your hands grabbed the back hem of his shirt, gently tugging and trying to pull it up his body, Leonard picking up the hints. Moving off you, he finished the job you were working on, before you sat up, allowing him to pull your shirt off you. “You’re gorgeous,” again you wrapped up in a kiss, and it was everything you had been dreaming about since you met him. 

Soon enough, you were naked, your lower half dangling off the edge of the bed, Leonard stroking himself as he stared at you. You swore you could feel his eyes burning into your skin as he raked you over, looking as if he was trying to memorize every inch of your body, the adoration radiating off him made you want to cry. You couldn’t remember a time anyone had made you feel this way just from a look. You didn’t know why you were suddenly so emotional, but now you were worried you were ruining the moment. You saw Leonard’s face change as he moved toward you. 

“(Y/N)?” He scooped you up, sitting you on his lap, his thumb brushing away the one rogue tear that escaped, “What’s wrong?”

You shook your head and smiled, “Nothing, it was just the way you looked at me.” You turned around in his lap, straddling him. You slowly kissed your way around his jaw line, up to his ear before gently nibbling on his ear lobe. You kept your lips pressed to his skin as you whispered in his ear, “Now, where were we Doctor?”

You shivered as he gripped your thighs, you slowly hiked yourself up placing one hand on Leonard’s shoulder to keep yourself steady using the other to line yourselves up. You didn’t miss the way he bit down on his lip as soon as your hand wrapped around his cock. Slowly easing yourself down onto him, you slowly stretched down until your thighs were touching his, placing both arms on his shoulders as you gave a few small bounces just to adjust yourself. Adjusting your knees, you started rotating your hips while setting a steady pace as you started to spring up and down. Having to quickly adjust when Leonard dropped to his elbows, and you came with him. 

He now had the upper hand, using one arm to wrap around your waist, keeping you in place, using the other to hold your chin, maintaining eye contact as he set a brutal pace, his hips almost smashing into yours. The new angle had changed and suddenly you couldn’t stop the moan that fell from your lips, seeing a smirk appear on Leonard’s face. “You sound so pretty,” He swiped his thumb over your lips and instinctively you slightly parted your mouth, “Say my name darlin.’”

You couldn’t help the heat that burned your cheeks, deciding to try and get back at him for the compromising position he put you in, “Leona-” You didn’t get to finish his name before his hips stopped moving. His arm is still locking you in place. You wanted to pout at the sudden loss of movement but didn’t have enough time as you were on your back now. Legs resting around his hips, his free hand now gripping one of your hips, as he slowly leaned in closer.

He adjusted the way he was holding your chin, he now rested your chin in the dip between his thumb and index finger, with each holding onto your jaw and adjusting your head to look at him, “I don’t think you heard me, what’s my name?”

“Dr. McCoy,” You looked at him through lidded eyes, eyes closing at his grip on your jaw tightened for a split second, before his hand on your hip pulled you closer to him. Settling a tortuous pace as he thrust into you, hiking your hips higher up as you started thrusting up towards him, desperate for more. He slowed down for a split second, a hand coming to rest by your throat. His fingers instinctively fell on your carotid. 

“Are you sure you’re feeling okay? Your heart rate seems pretty elevated,” He softly widened his grip, his hand now resting at the base of your neck.

“I was hoping you could tell me Doctor,” Leonard leaned down close to you, his fingers already slowly inching to either side of your neck, “Are you okay with this.” 

You quickly nodded your head and wiggled your body, closer to his, “Yes Le-” You swallowed, avoiding eye contact with him, “Yes Dr, McCoy.”

He applied pressure to the sides of your throat, you tilted your head back, almost as if you were presenting your neck to him and you could have died hearing the low moans Leonard was placing in your ear. You hummed as your eyes drifted shut, and you could feel the coil that had been tightening was ready to snap. 

“I want to spend the rest of my life with you (Y/N),” He thrust to punctuate every word and there you went. You gasped and drug your nails down his back as your thighs tightened around his waist. Leonard released his grip from around your neck and pulled away from you, spilling all over your stomach. He was gone the next second, before returning with a warm wash rag, practically wiping you down from head to toe. You couldn’t help yourself when you settled down under the sheets, face buried in the pillows that smelt like him.

Leonard soon returned, climbing into the bed beside you and pulling you into his chest. Kissing the top of your head before speaking, “Are you okay? I know that got intense pretty fast,” His fingers were absentmindedly running through your hair.

You yawned, moving yourself closer so your ear was pressed up against his chest, his heartbeat thrumming in your ears. You nodded against his ribcage, “I’m fine. I’m great actually…and the ‘Doctor Thing’ is kinda hot.” You could feel his chest shake with a silent laugh and you yawned again.  Pulling the blanket up to your neck and quickly falling into the best sleep you had received in weeks.

****************************

Leonard instinctively grabbed for you when he rolled over half awake in bed. He received no reprieve from the empty sheets, they were still slightly warm, and now he was wide awake. Scanning the room with his eyes, he couldn’t see you anywhere. There was something new on the dresser and he slowly made his way over to it. It was a note from you, and he couldn’t help but notice how elegant your handwriting was as it scrawled across the page. ‘I needed coffee, and you have none. Come find me if you would like a cup.” 

Leonard almost seemed like he was on autopilot as he dressed and brushed his teeth, leaving his quarters with only his comm and a mission to see you again. He quickly arrived in front of your door, and knocked within the same breath, realizing how desperate he was to see you. Now you stood in front of him, in a white t-shirt. He swallowed thickly as he could see your nipples pressed against the fabric, noticing how the pajama pants you stole from him hung around your waist.

He noticed the way you were looking at him, eyes still slightly coated with tiredness as they scanned his face, he tried to remain as untroubled as possible, trying not to give any signs of doubt as he stared back at you. He had something important he needed to tell you. You slowly reached out and grabbed his hand, pulling him back into your quarters with you. Leonard could smell the freshly ground coffee and finally took a glance around now that he was here again. Taking in more than just the photos on your walls. 

He watched as you made your way across the room from him, back toward the espresso machine that sat on your counter, “Now how did you manage to pull that off?”

You looked over your shoulder as you giggled, “Listen, when it comes to Starfleet, I’m not dumb. I know that I’m a nepo baby and I know that I could have everything the easy way. I could take advantage of everything and everyone would let me. James could too.” Leonard scoffed as you started swirling and lightly tapping your steamed milk, “I know that my last name carries a legacy that I won’t ever feel I have earned.” You started slowly pouring the milk into a steel Starfleet mug, “However, almost everyone else thinks that just carrying her name is enough to give me the world. Spock knew that, he challenged me all throughout my time in Starfleet, and yes the age gap was definitely weird for everyone at first, but he sees something in me, something I never will.” You looked up at him as you started tamping your espresso, “Admiral Pike knew that. It’s because he knows me. I’ve called that man Uncle Chris since I could talk. He knew a pay bump wasn’t going to get me to leave my station. Especially to come to the ship he was the first captain of. So he gave me Spock, and a brand new espresso machine.” 

Your fingers tapped on the edge of the counter as you bit your bottom lip. You grabbed your finished espresso shot, holding it up to the light and inspecting it. “I was a barista once, and I loved it, it gave me something that made me feel like me. The other people in the coffee shop didn’t know who I was, or if they did they didn’t care.” You were practically speaking into the counter as you delicately poured the shot over your milk. “My mom would have loved it. If there’s one thing my dad drilled into my head, it’s that I didn’t have to choose Starfleet.” You now held a bottle filled with a purple syrup. You steadied your hand as you etched a simple crosshatch pattern into the top of the foam.

“I’ve been thinking about what you said in med bay for a couple days now,” You quickly sanitized everything, exchanging steaming pitchers, mugs, and even the shot glass, “My mom, is the reason I do anything in this life.” He watched as you started your process over again. Moving at a slightly quicker pace this time, “She died when I saw 5. It’s been 20 years and yet her birthday still feels like my day of atonement.” Leonard noticed how you adjusted the amount of coffee in the puck and the amount of water, “My last relationship ended because he proposed, and then I found out he had a wife.” You couldn’t help but happily gasp as you finally watched the shots finish pulling. 

“Just because you were married the person you, at one point in time, loved,” You were now steadily pouring the milk into the espresso that laid in the bottom on the mug, the stream of milk coming from your steaming pitcher couldn’t have been thicker than a pencil, “It doesn’t mean that you’re broken, and if you are, then so am I. And so is James. And Spock as well. Every single person on this ship,” You handed him the mug, “Is broken in some way, and it doesn’t make them any less worthy of love.” 

You cradled your mug in your hands before sitting across from him, in a small armchair you managed to tastefully squeeze in the small living room provided to you, “I love Spock, and I love James,” you swiftly pulled your legs underneath you, “And I love you, Leonard. And you are worthy of love.”

You slowly took a sip from your mug, watching his reaction as you tried to keep a somewhat safe distance from him, it wasn’t every day you could pull that conversation out of thin air. You became somewhat concerned as Leonard stared at his coffee, after a couple more seconds he looked at you and you felt like you could breathe again.

“Do you remember the first time you ever came to med bay? The conversation we had?”

************************

Leonard couldn’t help but stare at the perfect white dot as it floated perfectly in the middle of the carmel colored drink from the milk and espresso mixing together. He felt breathless. You remembered, this was the first time he had coffee made by you since he tried to run away. He swore he could feel his heart swell, looking at the act of love made right in front of his face. “And I love you, Leonard. And you are worthy of love.” He wanted to run. To move out of your eyesight, and if he could, out of your life.

He couldn’t. He wouldn’t dare. You were here, why would he ever leave? He took in everything around him, trying to stifle his nervous system that was telling him to abort mission. He swore he could see flashing red lights in his vision. He finally looked at you and the room was alive and it was all because of you, you were the sunshine he so desperately craved. Like his own personal star.  “Do you remember the first time you ever came to med bay? The conversation we had?”

“I remember the big three,” you softly smiled at him, and he watched as you took another sip from your mug.

Leonard just needed a little bit more context, for his own peace, to make sure the both of you were on the same page, “The big three?”

 “We talked about how flat whites are your preferred drink of choice, we talked about ‘the deal’ with me and Spock, and we talked about how you didn’t believe in soulmates.” It almost seemed like you had a checklist to remember. Feeling quite pleased with himself that you seemed to be on the same page already. 

“I never believed in having a soulmate. Not just for me, but for everyone. I’ve always thought it was crazy to love someone based on a mark we’ve had since we were born.” Leonard finally took his first drink, appreciating the warm, velvety milk that soothed his groggy morning throat, “The idea that you can’t love someone just because you weren’t chosen for them was always ridiculous to me. I’ve always wanted to reject the idea that someone should love me just because of a damn sign from the universe I had no say in.”

His gaze seemed more intense now, hoping you would know the gravity of the words he was trying to muster the courage to say. He was in this for the long haul, for the rest of his life. “The night I came to check on you I saw it. In the photo of you and Jim.”

You smiled at him and Leonard took a shaky breath, “Your mark is the dendrites of a multipolar neuron,” He watched your face morph as you brought your wrist to your face, gently tracing the lines with your fingers. Leonard pulled his arm out of the black thermal he was wearing, and for the first time, he turned his arm, and just below the crease of his elbow, was the finishing piece of yours, “I got the terminals of the neuron,”

“They look like plant roots,” You mused from your spot on the chair, now leaning over the arm of the chair to get a closer look, “Everything clicked that night,” Leonard stood, moving in front of you and bringing your wrist to the inside of his elbow, watching as your bodies and the image connected, “I ran away that night because I was scared. The thought of you being mine was almost too much to handle, then I saw the way you looked at me. No one had ever looked at me like that.” He was now holding your hand, watching as a slight blush consumed your cheeks. “You still look at me like that. I love you (Y/N), and the only thing I ever want is to be yours.”

**************************************

You wanted to cry, you had been naked in front of Leonard before but now you felt like you had been stripped bare, you needed a break in this conversation. You could feel the heaviness in the air, making it hard to breathe. “People will say things about you Leonard. It’s happened before.” 

“What? They’ll think I’m with you for the status?” Leonard puffed his chest playfully.

“No, that’s not what I’m worried about.” You straightened yourself up, now on your knees as you locked eye contact with Leonard, “You’re the CMO of the USS Enterprise, you don’t need my status. No, what I’m worried about is that you’re one of the youngest men I’ve dated, and that’s still a 9 year age difference.”

“Youngest? I told Jim they’d never let me speak at the Academy again.”

You couldn’t help but laugh, pulling him in by the front of his shirt, “I’ll have you know I am a grown adult Dr. McCoy. With a fully formed prefrontal cortex. I think I’m perfectly capable of making my own decisions.” You were hovering in front of his lips when you saw a small smile make an appearance, a knock at the door pulled two two of you out of your reverie and you groaned. Pulling away from him and grumbling under your breath all the way to your door.

James was waiting, bouncing in place as he tried seeing into your room from his angle in the hallway. “Did Leonard give you his gift?” James bounced his eyebrows up and down at you. 

“If you’re talking about the potentially giant venus fly trap then, yes.” You crossed your arms over your chest.

“So, it’s giant huh?” A smirk cracking his face as he watched yours morph.

“I mean…” you paused, not knowing if Leonard wanted to tell people, before shrugging your shoulders as you fully faced James, measuring the air with your pointer fingers.

“Are you serious? Tell me you’re joking?” You slightly jumped as Leonard placed his hand on your shoulder. 

“What are we joking about?” He yawned after he spoke and you knew it couldn’t have been any earlier than 0700. 

“James doesn’t believe you have a big dick.” You laughed as Leonard suddenly stood straighter and seemed to tense up, you turned toward him, pulling him down for a gentle kiss, “James didn’t believe that we actually told each other how we felt.”

“Thank god you did because my next plan was to strand the two of you in a desert at night.”