I wish I liked my body more.

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I wish I liked my body more.

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I loooove the fact that random parts of my body like to spasm at the most random of times π₯°
The other day it was my legs... then my legs again.. then my wrist... and now currently it's my entire left arm~
I love my body heheh <3
Bah... I hate my sport 3': When I first started it I was jealous of the girls cus' they're all skinny and pretty, my body didn't become skinny? I became more bulky?? Like to this day I am still pretty bulky!? I have broad shoulders, my thighs are big as hell!? Dude... Ever since I started transitioning to being non-binary my body has become way more feminine.. Like, when I wanted to be more feminine my body made me more masculine, but now it's making me more fem 3: I said I wanted a flat ass chest not tits!!! Like, ya could've given me what I wanted back then... I DON'T WANT TITTIES!??? SOMEONE TAKE MY BOOBS!!! /srs crying
itβs swimsuit weather so now i have to be normal about my gender and my life and also my midriff
Meanwhile, I forget I have a spine until it hurts for no reason

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I am having a hard time today. PT is going poorly. My body has reacted to very gentle exercising by having my pain flare up again. Iβm doing so little and itβs still too much and I think PT doesnβt know what to do with me if it continues this way.
So. If you have a moment. Iβd appreciate some kindness, in whatever form it takes. Thanks.
Sometimes I feel like while my mind is on Earth, my body is in some fucked up void liminal plane where it's cold and hot and feels like something is squeezing all my limbs and giving me 5-10 hits of psychic damage.
"Your thighs look weird. Like, I couldn't even wrap my hands around them with 2 hands."
"Casoh but female"
oh my God shut up shut up shut up shut up I thought you were my friend I thought you cared I know we fight like siblings and make fun of each other but not like this oh my god I can't do it anymore