#bluebat

jinx's voice cracks on the end. please don't do this to me. not now. we were so good, so at peace. "please don't do this to me, jinx." is that a smile? why would you be smiling while you're literally fucking bleeding out? "finally got the name right, bats. when did i stop being your freak?" i think I'm smiling too but I'm sure there are tears. you look unfocused. "i hate you so much, love." this is so stupid. so, so stupid. i'm desperately trying to stop your bleeding on your stomach. i feel your ever so soft hand touch my wrist and look up at your eyes. why are you smiling? please stop this. please just stop this. "i'm glad we met, sam..." i can count on my fingers the times i saw this much vulnerability in your eyes. in one hand. i sigh and press my forehead against yours. it's obvious how heavy your eyes are right now.

"i love you," "i know, baby. i love you too." i dont know which one of us said which part and honestly i dont fucking care. i move my bloody hand to caress your cheek. "this isn't the end. we're not over, jinx. i promise. i will fight for you and i will find you again. i will save you, my love. i will-" i choke on my tears. you nod and close your eyes. "it's okay. let go. it's okay." "i love you." "i know, bats." i nod.

i kiss your forehead and catch the view of your lips lifting up slightly. "love, can i-" "yes," jinx sighs. i hold your chin and kiss you the most tenderly and softly possible. it reminds me of our first kiss — hesitant, slow and sweet. i pull away and keep my eyes closed. i brush my nose on yours and smile. "i love you..." i nod and caress your cheek. "i love you, freak." you scoff, smiling lazily, sleepily. i shut my eyes tighter. i can feel your cheek softening under my palm. your smile is fading. you're letting go. there's nothing else to do. nothing else to say. and nothing anyone can do. i kiss your forehead and finally look at you. you're... sleeping. my love is finally resting. you can finally rest in peace.

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written in january 2025