#blessed confessions

- Love Tigger

thank you for running this blog, i like seeing all the different corners of our community in one nice blog (⁠^⁠^⁠)

Thanks anon lollerskates you're so sweet omg!

(Heroposting is about a fictionkin (me) who is dealing with the dilemma of maintaining my former ideals and my heroic heart in a world that increasingly seems to push back against me and these values. I've also had a Dark Era, so I deal with intense internal conflict, so that's fun!)

I've improved leaps and bounds in so many areas since I've last sent in a message. My mindset has also bounced back—for a bit, pessimism threatened to reset all of my progress.

Have the people tired of happy endings? I think about this a lot. I'm sure I've mentioned this before too. When I was younger, I would root for the villain a lot more. I thought that it was boring when things resolved themselves in a neat little bow through the power of friendship. Mostly, it was a teenage need for rebellion against my former ideals I held when I was a child (I dearly loved every movie or novel about Friends Adventuring Together and Overcoming Evil). As an adult, I find comfort in the idea of everything being okay in the end. I hold onto that when times get rough in my personal life. My fictional selves who align with these views are the ones I ask for advice and are my role models as I improve and refine my philosophies. Most of them are younger than I am, funnily enough. My younger, wiser self is my muse when it comes to remembering how to be kind and how to be compassionate.

There's a lot of evil in our world too and it doesn't seem like there's anyone coming to save us with supernatural powers and a heart of gold. But friends, we are the ones who can and will improve our world through our own actions. Even small things can have large, positive impacts on our world. I... still struggle with my own flaws and the mountains I have to overcome seem insurmountable when I'm climbing them. My shadow, my pains; they're a part of me and I'm learning to love them too while attempting to be a light to other people. It's a thing of mine: I don't feel like a person deserving of kindness and I don't think I am actually as kind as I attempt to be. I still try. I hope the moments where I succeed improve things, even if only for a small amount of people. I'm constantly writing these same sentiments over and over, I think it brings me comfort... and hope.

Be well friends, take care of yourselves and each other. You are all powerful and wonderful just as you are. Look not towards the storm passing overhead, but towards the many days of sunshine and light that quickly approach. As long as we can imagine a better future, it can happen.

Now, coming back to fronting in 2024, I’m finally able to be myself. It’s scary, really. It’s a big change! We’re vocally and openly queer, and people don’t really bat an eye. I want to cry; it feels great!! I can finally be myself and love another man freely!! And we have a great group of friends. But at the same time, I still fear the judgement of others when they learn about us and our identity.

I just really wish that these fears will go away someday. While we finally have the freedom that we’ve always wanted, I can’t help but worry about the thoughts of peers and strangers. One day, maybe 😊.

— Victor Nikiforov (fictive, yuri on ice)

One day, I will remember this life and miss the friends and family I connected with, grew up with. I'll miss my sweet clingy cat, and getting margaritas with my father, and those little flecks of light that kept my head above water during the hard times. Maybe I'll draw myself, or lament about having lost the skill- perhaps in that life, I will gain skills I always wished to have in this one, and relish in that joy.

It's a nice thought to have; that this has always been a reality for me.

(Baba, Baba Is You.)

I believe in you!! :D