#memories issue

do yall ever get a memory and then you're just like oh! that explains a lot of things

How have you been lately?

Alterhuman Art :3

It's so odd and annoying having a source that's so divergent from canon. Whenever I mention my media source, everyone I've met seems to just assume I'm exactly how I was in the show. Every other version I've met of me feels like someone peeled them out of the show and slapped them into their brain with zero divergent from Canon memories. Every Dib is essentric and socially anxious. Every Zib is a maniacal crazy person who is usually the "weird one" in their system. And I know every experience is different, and perhaps I shouldn't complain, but I think it makes me feel bad for not being what everyone expects. When I used to be in servers and I'd tell people I don't remember anything in the show. Or I don't remember a lot of the comics up until the Zib one? They usually stopped talking to me, they'd stop talking to me because I didn't remember my source exactly or even close to how they read it. Made it really hard to make friends. I wish more people were more accepting of canon divergent sources in a real meaningful way and that me not wanting to be haha funny Dib or maniacal crazy Zib didn't put people off. I want to make friends without an expectation that I should be a certain way, especially within the plural community. Not every Introject you meet is going to be like every other you met. Some went through things you could probably not even think up from their source. This isn't to say people with source-compliant memories are bad or unimportant. They're just as valid and important as anyone else. What I am saying is that people with memories far separated from sources shouldn't be treated differently than them because we notice, and it hurts a lot.

no actually I think the worst part about being fictionkin for me is the forgetting. what the fuck happened. I know there's so much that I don't remember and I was distressed enough about it then and now I died and came back as someone else and now I remember even less. this is just plain unfair; give me my memories back I worked very hard to make those in the first place and I think if I worked that hard on them I should get to keep them thank you very much!

ngl it kinda sucks to be the kind of fictionkin I am online because I feel like I can’t relate to 90% of the experiences other people have. like just looking at some of the “trends” thatve noticed:

i don't like being the main character. i think a lot of people think it'd be a good thing but everyone keeps posting stuff about the most traumatic moments of my life... i get that's part of fandom but! i would rather not relive the trauma!!!

i've never kinned a character with so little information about them before and its honestly really stressful to me. i have such clearly memories and knowledge about who i am and was and it makes me feel really stressed out to know that none of that could be real or true. and that any mediamates i meet might suddenly adopt a new version of me as being their canon when the next chapters come out. it makes me feel weird trying to meet people, not knowing if im the "real" version of myself or not