#bitchesonabudget

What You’ll Need:

Makes about 10-12 chocolates

Ingredients: 

4g Good Quality Bud 

2 Bars Good Quality Chocolate  (We cheated - use regular chocolate, not the baking kind)

5 TBSP Salted Butter

Optional: Chopped nuts, sprinkles, etc

Materials: 

Small pot

Glass Pyrex bowl

Herb Grinder

Rubber spatula

Coffee Filter, Sieve, or Cheesecloth

Silicone Ice Cube Trays/molds

Step 1:  Decarboxylate your weed.  

This is a fancy science word that basically says  to synthesize the inactive cannabinoids into active cannabinoids - aka something your body can utilize - by cooking your weed a very low temperature. Since you won’t be heating it up with a pipe or vape - this is important. Low heat throughout this whole process is key.

Grind your weed first fairly finely. We used 4g, ground and spread out on an oven safe bowl (a pie plate or pyrex should work fine too) covered with foil for about 1.5 hours at 230F.  Using a gas stove, we just turned it to right after we heard the pilot for the oven come on. 

Step 2: Make cannabutter (or cannaoil if you’re vegan)

Since we’re making such a small amount (we’re bitches on a budget, duh) we used about 5 TBSP of butter for our 4g of weed. Coconut oil and Olive oil both work too, just match the flavor profile to whatever you’re making.

A) Using the double boiler method (a glass bowl and a pot) bring water to a boil, then turn heat to low. Make sure water the water level isn’t touching the bottom of the top bowl. You don’t want to cook or burn either the oil or weed. 

B) Once boiling, add butter to bowl and reduce heat to simmer. Melt butter fully, then add decarbed weed. Stir in and let simmer- stirring every 5-10 minutes. Best results, simmer for at least 2-3 hours.

Let the butter cool for about 10 minutes.

Step 3: Strain Butter using a cheesecloth or coffee filter. We used the metal single serve king and it worked pretty well. If you’re strapped and don’t have either, a pair of panty hose works ok too. It won’t necessarily work as well, but it’ll get rid of the bigger bits.

Step 4: Melt Chocolate

Go back to your double boiler and add the chocolate. If you’re Janet, Ms. Jackson if you’re nasty, don’t wash out the butter. Melt the chocolate in the same bowl. 

Same idea as butter, using low heat, wait til chocolate is completely melted. 

We did 2 different types of chocolate, so we did steps 4-6 twice.

Step 5: Add cannabutter to chocolate - Use about 1 chocolate bar (about 5g of chocolate) to 2.5g bud. We split our butter into two for two different chocolates. 

Step 6: Make candies. Using silicone molds - ice cube trays are good- fill the tray with nuts, candies, sprinkles, etc, if you want to use these. Pour chocolate into tray. (You can buy cute shaped molds for cheap lots of places.)

Put in freezer until solid. If you wanna get fancy (we did), you can use white and dark chocolates. If you want to make 2-toned chocolate, you just freeze the first layer, then once solid, pour the 2nd layer, and re-freeze.

Once the chocolate is solid, pop the chocolates out of the molds, and you’re done! You can keep refrigerated til you give your gift to keep from melting. Use tiny cupcake wrappers to place chocolates on and keep it sanitary if you’re giving them away individually. Put in a cute tiny box (see our tutorial here) and give to your favorite 420 friendly pal.

What You’ll Need: 

Heavy Card Stock

Template: Download here

Scissors

Ribbon/string

Hole Punch

Tape

Printer

Step 1: Download pre-printed template. (Ours is blank for demonstration purposes, but we did the work for you and made the Illuminati pyramid for you. You’re welcome.)

Print the first one out on cardstock. If you don’t want the design or want to make your own, print it and tape it to cardstock, then cut around it.

Step 2: Fold along design edges. (Pictured: the dotted lines.)

Step 3:  Punch Holes in the top corners

Step 4:  Using ribbon or string, make an “S” shape through all the holes you just punched. "S" shape because it’ll stay together best that way. If you plan on using it as a gift box, just tie it once so it can be un-tied.

Step 5: Tie a second knot at the top and make a decorative bow.

Just a note:  All the prices below are pre-tax and tip. Make sure you remember to tip AT ORIGINAL PRICES. Hey, I'm cheap, but I'm no dick. Making $2.13/hr is shit.

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SLIGHTLY FANCY & BEST ALL ROUND FUCKING DEAL: 

SAGRA - 1050 E 11th St #100, Austin, TX 78702 - EAST CENTRAL

GF,  Vegan

Why is this one of my fav. FOOD, let alone pizza + booze deals in Austin? Happy Hour 4:30-6:30p EVERYDAY.  Half-price pizza, $2 off all booze, and $5 Specialty Cocktails -I suggest trying the Paloma.  If you're on a mega budget, Lone Stars are $1 during HH.

Plus almost everything is made fresh in-house, including their own nut cheeses if you're dairy-free or vegan. 

And If you're GF, they just bring you 2 smalls when you order a large. That's perfect to split with a fellow cheap friend.  And the GF crust is actually pretty damn good. I did that, and got a 10" pizza plus a cocktail for about $10 per person.

Tip: Sign up for their newsletter (then unsubscribe if you want) and they'll give you a coupon for a free entree.

www.sagraaustin.net

JACKALOPE - 404 E 6th, Austin, TX 78701 - DIRTY 6TH

Their sign boasts "DAMN FINE FOOD," and Jackalope definitely does deliver. Lots of people know about their 2 for 1 burger Wednesdays, but they also have HALF PRICE pizza Tuesdays.

Go any day before 7pm for $2.75 pints.  And they have good beer on tap, like Austin Beer Works.  Plus they have weird, but interesting movies playing all the time. The service however is lacking, as everyone there most definitely thinks they're cooler than you.  But you can take a pic atop the giant Jackalope sculpture and call it a day.

Tip: If there's a big event happening, ie SXSW, the Relays, etc, they'll close the 6th st entrance so that those locals in the know have to enter through the alley entrance.

www.jackalope.com

Mister Tramps - 8565 Research Blvd, 78758 - NORTH AUSTIN

It's really just your run of the mill sports bar in North Austin, but two words catch my attention: FREE PIZZA. Buy any pitcher, and get a free pizza everyday after midnight. That means, you can buy a $12 pitcher of Lone Star and still get something in your stomach to help hold back vomit from all that drinking you're doing.

The pizza is good, and they'll let you choose up to 3 toppings. It's mostly just a good snack if you're just looking for something to munch on to soak up all the booze, it's decent and get the job done. And if the cheap stuff doesn't quench your thirst, they have a decent selection of local and craft brews too. 

mistertramps.com

Trifecta on 3rd - 360 Nueces #30,  78701 - DOWNTOWN (Located at the bottom of the 360 building, across from the Austin Music Hall)

Kind of in an odd location, but otherwise, it's a pleasant enough place. They offer nearly 100 different types of bourbon (yum!) and have a good selection for non-bourbon drinkers too.

Happy hour runs Monday - Friday, 5p - 8pm and you can choose from a dozen of their 12" pizzas, for just $3.  They do have a one drink minimum with this deal, but they have daily drink specials from 4p-8pm: $3 Off Bourbon Flights & Martinis and $1 Off Beer, Wells, & Wine. Plus they have a different daily drink special.

Tip to be super cheap: I'd suggest going sometime after 6pm, M-W, after the meters are free to avoid paying for parking.

trifectaaustin.com

Know of a good place we missed?