#birdflash angst

He knew his body was moving, with the aches in his legs and sweat dripping down his forehead. The slight weight of his soulmark on his ribs. He was running and not stopping he couldn’t stop. If he stopped something would happen. It itched the back of his head. The knowledge of if he stopped something would happen to him and it wouldn’t be good. Like if he looked away it would pounce on him. Bite through his jugular and parade around with his blood in its fur.

He wanted to go home. He wanted to come home to Aunt Iris in the kitchen making food with a smile on her face. Uncle Barry running in soon after him already out of his hero suit. Wrapping an arm around Wally’s shoulder’s as he explains what happened on the mission. Aunt Iris would listen only to laugh when she thought of a joke and be unable to say it out loud without laughing.

He wanted to go to his home. He wanted to see the smile that was different than all the other hundreds that appeared on his face. The one that would only grow when he saw Wally. He wanted to see his best friend happy and cart wheeling around while Wally struggled on homework. Then distract Wally and end up asleep on the ground a movie playing on the TV. Only to wake up with him wrapped around Wally stealing his body heat. Their soul marks light near each other.

Every once in awhile he’d get a glimpse of them. Of a more somber Aunt Iris and Uncle Barry. Looking around like they’d expect to see someone running out. Only to see another shorter red head and still smile but grip each other’s hand a bit tighter. A glimpse of his Rob being serious on missions. Never having that smile Wally loved. Laughing at something on the TV and turn to look at an empty space next to him. See no one and clench his fist as a silent ‘oh right’ came out. Then a dark room as the TV was turned off with Rob sitting in the dark torturing himself with the cold he felt.

Sometimes Wally doubted the sweat running down his face was sweat and not salty tears. Every deep breath stopped short he wondered if it was his last. Sometimes he wished it was. He couldn’t deal with the images of crying from his family. The sight of Dick in front of a grave he never saw the front of. A grave that always had flowers and packages of snacks on it.

He didn’t know how long it was. Years? Months? Seconds? Eons? He knew he was still running. Still alive and breathing. Only having a few moments of lucid thoughts. Of glimpses of his friends and family. Then it was cold and wet. Then he wasn’t running he crashed onto the ground rolling leaving behind a trail of piled snow. Then he felt the pain and tiredness. The soreness of his legs. The steam rising off his body from the snow evaporating from the heat of his body. The old heavy weight of his soulmark burning on his ribs.

He breathed deeply as he pushed himself up. He could think clearly. He could breathe without the scent of ozone. Now he smelt.. clear air. Cold. It went through his lungs like a nice drink of water. A slight hint of salt in the air as he stood up his legs shaking. The he smelt the ozone again. He took a step back only the feel weakness in his legs make itself known. He fell in the snow the cold seeping through his tattered suit. He heard a loud boom of thunder before his mind was invaded with the glimpses he saw before. But they were different.

All the old glimpses had someone morning for him. Something keeping him running. These felt like it was trying to get him to stop. To give up. Like it wasn’t worth it. People watching the news and seeing the news of the old Kid Flash dying and skipping past it. His father groaning saying something that was similar to ‘Good riddance.’ His mother not blinking at the news and before moving on. How his death wasn’t worth the effort of a funeral. The sight of his soulmate cursing on his grave tears going down his cheek.

As he looked over the blue-eyed figure, Wally’s eyes widened and he realized; blonde hair, pale skin, blue eyes, toned build; how could he ever forget?

“B-… Barry?” Wally asked in a weak and tentative voice as his breath caught in his throat for a moment, and as he was slapped in the face with a recognition his breath began shaking. This could only mean two things: that he had died, and that Barry had died as well at some point and had come to greet him. Or…

He had been transported out of the Speed Force?

Barry laughed as tears dripped along his face, the tears a mix of grief and pure and utter joy. He nearly pounced on the boy and drew him into a tight embrace, his shoulders racking with sobs that could probably be heard through the walls of the house. Iris was out for the day, at work, and the twins were at school by now. Barry was alone, and Barry had been alone, all throughout his own mission to bring Wally back. The only person he had ever told was Bruce, and even then the details were vague, but he had needed Bruce to have the little machine built that could bring Wally back.

Wally sat in the embrace, shocked and still disoriented for a few seconds, but quickly returned the hug as his own green eyes welled up with years of unshed tears at the comfort and the human contact. He choked back a sob, his throat quivering with the noises that threatened to escape him. He clawed at Barry’s back as his emotions overwhelmed him, gripping onto Barry’s shirt in a desperate attempt to prove to himself that he wasn’t dreaming and that he was alive.

“Wally, you're okay. You’re back, you’re back, you’re safe,” Barry repeated through his tears as he started to rock Wally back and forth, treating the boy as if he was younger than his actual age at 28. Wally didn’t mind, though. He just wanted to enjoy the company and the affection after years and years of being alone.

Wally hiccuped in Barry’s arms, and he kept his face buried into the older man as he tried to breathe. Barry’s hand threaded through Wally’s knotted red slight-curls as he gently scratched at Wally’s scalp, trying to give the boy another sense or way of comfort. A familiarity of the feeling caused a thought to shoot through Wally’s mind, and he drew back from Barry slightly to look him in the eyes, his green eyes meeting Barry’s blue ones.

“A-Artemis…?” he garbled out, his tears and sobs slurring his speech.

Barry cringed slightly at the name, having slightly hoped that Wally wouldn’t bring up his old lover’s name. He sighed, cupping Wally’s face in his hands and gently ran his thumbs under Wally’s eyes to rhythmically wipe away the tear streaks as he spoke as calmly and softly as he could. “I really don’t know how to tell you this. I wish I didn’t have to tell you…”

Wally’s expression fell, and he sat there, almost limply, as he looked up at Barry with wide-eyed disbelief. “…dead?”

“No, no, she’s not dead, Wally. She’s just… moved on...” Barry’s face morphed into a pained expression, and he sucked in a sharp breath. “From… you.”

Dumbfounded. Wally was dumbfounded. He scoffed, acting as if he didn’t believe Barry, but deep, deep down in his gut, a little bubble of hurt and jealousy spurted up and began to form. “Please, we were practically inseparable. I’d need to see it with my own eyes.”

“Wally, you were gone for seven years,” Barry said firmly as he held Wally’s face. He hated that Wally was denying this, but he also understood it too. And he hated that even more. “I’ve been trying to get you back for seven years. I’m sorry, really, I truly am.”

The younger male grabbed at Barry’s hands and pulled them off of his face, trying to mask his hurt and panic behind a mask of anger. He glared at Barry, although the hurt was still mostly prominent in his eyes. “I don’t care. I still want to see her anyway. I don’t believe you.” Wally’s voice cracked terribly, cracking his facade slightly. He was never really that good at hiding his emotions from people. Not from the ones he loved.

Barry sighed gently as he knew that Wally wouldn’t take this information lying down and would try to get evidence, real evidence, not just someone’s words. He got up gingerly and walked into the kitchen, scrounging around for a few minutes in silence before he found a spare phone they had stored in case someone’s phone broke and they needed another. He brought it back out to Wally, and they both set up the phone.

Once set up, Barry took the phone and added a few contacts into it, telling everyone he added that this was one of his spare phones, leaving it up to Wally to decide when he wanted to tell people he was back.

“Of course, I’ll have to tell Iris, but everyone else you can set boundaries with and decide when they find out. I trust you, Wally.”

Both men stood up, Barry drawing the shorter into a tight hug for one last time for a few minutes before he ultimately had to let go in order to give the boy his freedom and free reign. Barry sniffled, trying hard not to burst into tears the second he let go of Wally. He nodded toward the door, as the man was unable to speak any words without breaking.

Wally attempted to give Barry a lopsided smile, but it was clear that it was forced. He shoved the gifted phone into his pocket, and then with a burst of his old speed, he zipped out the front door and to the location Barry had given him, setting out to find his love.

What. The. Fuck.

Why were there two cars in the driveway? Artemis didn’t have two cars.

Wally grumbled at the image before him, his hands clenched slightly into fists as he stood in front of Artemis’ driveway. He and Artemis, when they had been dating, had both agreed that they would only need one car because wherever they went they would always be with each other. And now she was here with two cars? Wally scoffed, feeling his lips twist into a frown as his heart plummeted. He took a deep, shaky breath, and then willed himself to go fast and make the world move slower around him. With that, he used this as a chance to see what was happening with Artemis without actually affecting anything.

He entered the house, time slowed around him, and started wandering around. He felt a small tugging at his heart, a terrible and maybe even slightly guilty feeling pooling into his gut, and by following his instincts, he strode into the living room.

The speedster slowly stepped into the room, his breaths quickening, and he looked around for any signs of Artemis. What he did see caused him to nearly collapse to his knees and caused tears to spring into his eyes.

“Artemis…” Wally whispered to himself, reaching out as if to touch Artemis’ face but winced and quickly drew his hand back.

Artemis’ features; her long blonde hair, her warm brown eyes, her soft and pale skin. He remembered it all, and yet it was so different. When had she changed? Had matured? Had gotten over him?

She sat next to a man. Another man. A man with short brown hair, dark green eyes, and clear tan skin. A man who had given Artemis a ring and she had taken it. A man who was nowhere near like Wally had been. And it hurt. It hurt a lot.

Wally fumed, tears pricking at the corners of his bright green eyes and a few slipped down his freckled pale skin. He clenched his fists, and his fingernails dug into his palms so hard they nearly drew blood. He bit at his lip and trembled as he stood. Why was he like this? Why couldn’t have he been a better boyfriend and had stayed for Artemis? Why did he have to be so slow?

Deep down, he knew he couldn’t stay any longer. He couldn’t stay both for his own sanity and because he would soon get caught by the woman of his now-shattered dreams and her new boy toy.

He zipped out of the house, time finally going back to normal for him as he stopped a few hundred miles away from Artemis’ house. He needed a place to go. He didn’t want to go back to Barry. He didn’t want to admit that Barry had been correct. He knew that he was, but he didn't want to face that fact just yet. Instead, he pulled out his new phone with a shaking hand and looked over the list of addresses Barry had typed out for him.

There.

That was where he would go. After a few quick rubs to his eyes, Wally set off down the streets in a full sprint, as fast as he could using the Speed Force, to the city of Blüdhaven, where he hoped an old friend would be home and not out on a mission.

He only hoped his friend could stay whelmed.

Wally zipped into the apartment that had been written down as his friend’s, stopping in the middle of the poorly decorated living room with his heavy pants being the only thing that filled the silence. He looked around desperately, hoping to find his best friend.

“Where are my souvenirs, Rob?!” Wally called out into the seemingly empty apartment, hoping upon hope that his friend was there.

There was a few seconds of frantic shuffling, a pained grunt, and very quickly a half-dressed Richard Grayson came nearly tripping into his living room. Dick wasn’t wearing a shirt, his sweatpants hanging loosely around his waist and mix-matched socks - both being varying heights - on his feet. The brush in Dick’s hand clattered to the ground as his gaze settled on the redhead that had appeared in his apartment. His long raven locks flopped in front of his bright cerulean blue eyes, which widened as he sucked in a sharp breath as if the air had been slammed out of his lungs.

“W-Walls…?” Dick gasped, his breath shaky and uneven as he panicked.

Wally attempted to smile, his hands sliding to the back of his head in a laid-back pose. “Uh, duh? Who else could it be!” Wally laughed, although that laugh died in his throat when he saw Dick start to break down into heavy sobs.

“I-it can’t be…” Dick cried, stumbling forward and reaching out toward Wally before quickly retracting his hands in fear of it being a hallucination.

Wally felt his own tears beginning to well up again at the sight of his best friend’s now tear-streaked face. He carefully stepped forward, cringing slightly as he watched Dick walk back in response to Wally’s advancing actions. Wally stopped and held out his arms to Dick.

“Rob… Dick… it’s me, I promise,” Wally whispered, his voice a quiet rasp in the almost silence of the apartment. “I promise.”

Dick reached out with a tentative, almost hesitant, hand as he kept from making direct eye contact with Wally. Their hands brushed, and Dick gasped softly as he saw that Wally didn’t disappear with a touch. Dick choked on his breath as he stepped forward and ran his hand along Wally’s face, through his hair, down his neck; anything to let him know that his closest friend was there in front of him.

When his hand didn’t phase through or cut through the man in front of him and he was touching his solid skin and features, Dick threw himself at Wally, sobbing so loud he could possibly lose his voice in the morning. Wally wrapped his arms around Dick as tight as he could and squeezed, breaking into sobs himself. The pair crumpled to the floor, years and years of grief and agony spilling out of both boys.

“Promise me you won’t ever leave me again…” Dick whispered in between choked sobs. He clung to Wally for dear life, his body trembling as it was racked with his heavy cries. Wally bit his lip as his body shook as well, although he tried to quiet his cries.

They would never be apart, Wally promised. This could be their chance to build anew.