#bb!starter

toto, i've a feeling we're not in kansas anymore...

Hey, hi, hello! Is anyone else questioning how they wake up so early every year for school? Because I’m riding the struggle bus so hard right now.

I, for one, am excited for school to start. This town’s so fucking boring during the summer, but at least there’ll be some new freshmen to torture with school starting up again.

This new generation of Freshmen are literally forcing me to consume double the amount of caffeine in a day. It must be something to do with their wide eyed optimism, or how they’re seemingly not afraid to constantly ask for directions every single day. It’s hilarious to watch them signing up for clubs like the Glee Club and still expect to complete the school year with a shred of popularity. Can someone teach these kids what’s acceptable ASAP, please? It’s driving me insane.

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Hey there kiddos, just reminding you I still have the 30% off back to school sale going till Monday. I have everything from fake IDs to adderall to Kinder Surprise eggs. This message was provided to you by your local teenage dirtbag. 

i know ya’ll yeehaw motherfuckers are going to ring in the fall season by going to the pumpkin patch but if you want to actually do something fun then you should come see me, ol’ smackdonald, and my team at the roller derby qualifiers this weekend.

I don’t know why the fuck we got hotties in Glee, or being fucking nerds. It’s a goddamn tragedy. Why do that shit?