#bartender geralt

Two postings in a day? TWO POSTINGS IN A DAY?

I just couldn't resist, I'm sorry, but I love them....

Oh, also, i changed the lyrics just a little to fit ehehehe. The song is Are you gonna be my girl - Jet, because I love it. Enjoy <3

On Ao3 here

Thursday nights are live band nights, and it is really no telling if there is going to be a good crowd or not. 

Definitely better than bingo night and moderately better than quiz night, but still, not everybody wants to leave the house on a Thursday.

The live band playing tonight, The Dan-Dillions, are fairly good. Geralt has seen them play two or three times now, forever scheduled (by himself, Yennefer keeps reminding him) on Thursdays.

The blond girl on drums, Priscilla, is loud and mouthy and always stays until the bar closes. Valdo on bass, on the other hand, stays about 10 minutes after they finish their set and then someone is on his arm and he's gone. 

The two lead singers on their guitars, Essi and Jaskier, are more like puppies. Constantly starving; one moment chaotic bouncy energy and the next a starving mess.

Puppies.

The thing is, while Essi runs out to find her food, Jaskier will pester Geralt until he lets him order a serving of fries or something.

And true to their habits, Valdo flirts, Priss drinks, and Essi and Jaskier are more or less climbing on top of each other by the bar, giving Geralt the biggest (most adorable) puppy eyes he has ever seen for another helping of french fries.

Don't tell Yennefer, but Jaskier's pleading eyes regularly have him weak in the knees. 

Maybe. 

And feel a little fluttery feeling when he stays and the others leave. 

Perhaps.0

 And feel a little excited spark when he smiles and winks at Geralt from stage. 

Possibly.

when midnights break their sleep by SummerFrost

The first Snapchat that anyone ever sends Geralt is a picture of his own irritated face.

shrike_princess: can u believe this dumbass finally got a snapchat bc a cute boy asked him nicely

"It wasn't even that nicely," Geralt says flatly.

AKA: The one where Geralt is a bartender and Jaskier sings karaoke.

(This is one of my favorite stories in the fandom.  I love it so much!!)

Give Me Nothing, Give Me You by dis

Ciri's kindergarten letter comes in the mail on a Tuesday. Geralt opens it, skims it, and frowns at the class his daughter has been assigned.

Dandelions.

Or: A modern AU with Dad!Geralt and Teacher!Jaskier.

Chopsticks by thisgirlsays22

“Yennefer sent me a check for eight lessons for you,” Jaskier said the following weekend, wearing a beige button-down with--

“Does your shirt have owls on it?” Geralt asked, caught somewhere between amusement and horror.

Jaskier looked down and tugged on the front of his shirt as if he had to remind himself what was on it. He beamed at Geralt. “Yeah! Do you like it?”

“Not particularly.”

The smile swiftly disappeared.

“It’s not terrible,” he amended, stepping back to let Jaskier inside the apartment. Then Jaskier’s initial words sank in. “Wait. Yen did what?”

Hanging up on Yennefer was always a mistake.

New Monster Stories by kathkin

“So do you have a name?”

“Yeah.” The man who had saved his life less than an hour ago – the white-haired, absurdly buff, weirdly sexy man Jaskier might have called taciturn if he was feeling charitable and surly if he was feeling less so – dug into his second burger.

Jaskier waited. “Are… you going to tell me what it is?”

The man paused mid-bite, and looked at him reproachfully as if to say how dare you. How dare you interrupt me. Can’t you see I’m enjoying my cheeseburger. Can’t you see this cheeseburger is the most important thing in my life right at the moment. He swallowed, and said, “Geralt.”

It turns out almost getting eaten by a werewolf can make your whole life go careening off in a new, terrifying, wondrous, artistically flourishing direction. Who knew?

Where There’s a Witcher by ghostinthelibrary

Jaskier is a twentysomething recently unemployed journalist and amateur musician looking for his big break. So when he’s saved from the jaws of a wyvern by the infamous Butcher of Blaviken, Geralt of Rivia, he comes up with a brilliant idea: he’ll follow the Witcher around and sing about their exploits. He’ll gain fame and fortune and Geralt will get a much needed image rehab. Everyone wins. Unless Jaskier goes and falls in love like an idiot.

Only Human Series by ghostintxelibrary

It’s a Tuesday, so someone is threatening to kill Jaskier.

Geralt doesn’t know why he’s surprised anymore.

Geralt moonlights as a superpowered vigilante called the Witcher, but his cover identity is the mild-mannered Geralt Rivia, reporter at The Continental Press. Jaskier is an entertainment writer at the Press and Geralt’s ex-boyfriend. He's obsessed with the Witcher, the vigilante who has saved his life multiple times. When Geralt is blackmailed by a powerful sorcerer into pursuing the Shrike, a serial killer who’s been targeting abusive men, Jaskier gets involved, despite Geralt’s best efforts.

(Seriously, all of her stuff is amazing.  Read it all.)

Thieves and Riches

Geralt is just trying to do a favor for an old friend when he finds himself tied up and shoved into a storage closet by a group of robbers. There he meets Jaskier, an enigmatic cat burglar who is a little too good at teasing a reaction of the normally stoic detective.

I’ll Never Be Free From Your Smile by whisperedstory

Geralt isn't sure how he got here, standing in his kitchen in black gym shorts and a baby pink—baby fucking pink—shirt that stretches too tightly over his muscles and has Toss a Coin written in sparkling gold letters across his chest while Jaskier is aiming a camera at his face.

Or: Jaskier is a YouTuber and Geralt is his best friend and roommate.

Next to You by Bean_Writes

Moving to a new town is one thing. Moving to a new town, becoming best friends with his neighbor and falling head over heels for her dad is something entirely different.

In his second year of college, Jaskier struggles with his undying crush on Geralt, Ciri's dad. It also doesn't help that the man's job involves him looking like an absolute wet dream come true, emerging from beneath a car, muscles flexing, slick with sweat and grease.

He's really fucked.

The Tale of Jaskier's Grudge Against Historians (and how they gave him his happy ending anyway) by notebooksandlaptops

[Text Sent From Ciri] Is there a reason why a love letter to Yen and Geralt is in the British Museum signed from you?? -C

[Text Sent to Ciri] Because Historians are nosey pricks. Do NOT tell your parents. -J

[Text Sent From Ciri] ;) – C

The winking face of a semicolon and a bracket stared up at him, composed of unforgiving pixels. She wouldn’t, would she? No. No. She couldn’t. She wouldn’t.

She wouldn’t.

-///-

I hope you will get to bar crawl next year! Loved the suggestion, by the way. <3

---

Jaskier has been craving this for as long as he remembers. A craving he had to fulfill a legal requirement to finally give into. And it wasn’t like he hadn’t been sneakily indulging before. Oh, dear, no. Jaskier was far from innocent. He had even faked his ID one too many times he became infamously renown in the area. From bouncer to bartender, word was bound to get out, and Jaskier was banned from the entirety of the city bars until he became of legal age.

And now, oh boy, are they all going to regret having stomped on his fun.

Black boots, tight jeans and a pink shirt, Jaskier walked into the bar with his nose up high. The noisiest, dirtiest, messiest of the neighborhood. The kind of hole in the wall you do not leave without at least throwing up twice in the bathroom either from overconsumption or whatever it was your seat-neighbor had slipped into your drink while you were busy checking out the bartender.

Jaskier never said this kind of place was safe. But to hell with it. Tonight was the night he would be getting legally wasted and rub it into everyone’s face. 

And if he got laid on top of it all? Well, extra points for this bitch.

He settled himself behind the bar counter and watched the well-built frame of the bartender reaching out for a bottle of whiskey at the top shelf without sparing it a glance, like his entire body knew the whole system, like he’s been doing it for years. White hair, black shirt, big biceps. 

Sexy, Jaskier thought, half-distracted, half-invested, until the other turned around and caught him staring. There was a short silence, in which the bartender was busy shaking the drink with skillful ease, his eyes - a beautiful amber - sized Jaskier up and down. Jaskier was smirking inside out. He knew that look. And he knew it too well.

Ask me my age, I fucking dare you.

“You’re new,” he said instead, and dragged down his gaze to the cocktail glass he was filling to the brim. “What will it be?”

Sexy and courteous? Jaskier might have half-joked the bit where he would check out the bartender but now, well, it might not be so terrible an idea.

“The strongest you have,” said Jaskier with pride, “Make it extra.”

The handsome man hummed, a smirk gracing his lips as he went to serve the cocktail to a girl at the other end of the counter. Giggles and small talk ensued. Jaskier’s shoulders slouched. He wasn’t alone at eyeing the guy, obviously.

He began turning his head to the rest of the bar, instead, letting his eyes wander, thinking: Look, plenty of fish in the sea, when the sound of glass hitting the surface of the counter brought his gaze back in front of him. The bartender was already returning with his order, a strange mixture of -

“What’s this?”

“The strongest we have.”

“Is it extra?”

“Just for you.”

With a proud grin, Jaskier lifted the glass up and downed the content in one-go. By the time the bottom of it hit the surface, his lips were burning and his throat was on fire.

“Fuck,” he mouthed hoarsely, “Another.”

With a skeptical look, the bartender left with the empty glass and this time, Jaskier watched him mix four different bottles from the upper shelf. Some he recognized, some he didn’t. Who was he to complain so long it knocked him out for good? He was here to get wasted, after all.

The surprising result landed in front of him soon after. Once he finished chugging it, Jaskier began forgetting the way back home. 

Fuck. It was strong.

“Easy there,” said the gruff tone, “At least enjoy the effort I put into it.”

Jaskier flushed.

“Sorry,” he said, voice slurred.

“First time drinking outside?”

Jaskier chuckled. "Do I give off first-timer vibes?”

“I work full-time here. I’d remember a pretty face like yours.”

His breath caught up in his throat, a drop of liquor going down the wrong pipe, and Jaskier broke into a fit of coughs. The bartender returned back with a glass of water, grinning smugly.

“Sorry, too much?”

“God, no!” he managed to utter, teary-eyed from the coughing. “Not enough, is what it is.”

A chuckle, rough-sounding but soft on the edges. The bartender leaned over the bar counter, biceps inflating in the process and god help Jaskier, he desperately wanted those arms around him by the end of the evening.

“What’s your name?”

Amber eyes flared golden from up close. Jaskier’s heart was thumping miles a minute.

“Jaskier,” he said, “You?”

“Geralt,” came the answer, “You have an interesting name.”

“It’s, well, not my real name but -”

“I like it.”

A smile. Simple, thin, sincere. Jaskier was weak. 

“Are you normally this nice to everyone?”

“Nice?”

“Yeah, I mean, you’re being nice, right?”

Geralt laughed. Jaskier’s cheeks turned bright red.

Then another customer called for his attention and Geralt pushed himself up to get back to work.

“Don’t go anywhere,” he said with piercing eyes and a curved smirk, fingers grazing Jaskier’s before peeling the empty glass away from his hold. “I’m not done being nice to you, Jaskier.”

And fuck. Plenty of fish in the see, my ass. 

when midnights break their sleep by SummerFrost

Rating: 16+ Audiences

Word Count: 16736

Status: Complete!

Summary: The first Snapchat that anyone ever sends Geralt is a picture of his own irritated face.

shrike_princess: can u believe this dumbass finally got a snapchat bc a cute boy asked him nicely

"It wasn't even that nicely," Geralt says flatly.

AKA: The one where Geralt is a bartender and Jaskier sings karaoke.

Some Thoughts: This. Fanfic. Is. Hilarious. Also, another one of my favorite Jaskier iterations because he’s just such a little shit in this fanfic, and Geralt just doesn’t buy any of it. It’s basically 16k words of fluffy humor, and what more could you ask for? To be honest though, I really liked the pacing of this fanfic. The relationship of the two was developed so well, and the affection between the two was so sweet to watch unfold. It’s the kind of fic that you would read over and over again because it’s well written, hilarious, and just adorable.

The best part though? Geralt’s interactions with everyone else. Like yes, his thing with Jaskier is adorable and hilarious and is what you go read the fic for, but understated part? The fact that Renfri and Geralt are genuine bros, bartending together and just being sassy towards one another. The Yennefer-Geralt-Jaskier dynamic is also very palatable because Yennefer absolutely despises Jaskier, and it’s hilarious. This fanfic is worth it for the good vibes, and especially if you need a fairly lengthy fluff that doesn’t really get too overly sweet. There’s just the right amount of humor and pining to temper it.

Available on Site(s): Ao3

Part of a Series: Yes! Click here if you want to check out the full series.

I missed my Inked Up Idiots and my old bar so yall get a little self indulgent drabble for the holiday lol

warnings: unwanted advances, protective geralt, its pretty tame tho, we got some cuteness too.

____________

“Pounder and two buckets,” Geralt shouted over his shoulder to Jask, who promptly pulled down one tall pint glass and two shorter glasses from the shelves behind him. Jask had sat his ass in the same spot on the bar for four years in a row, washing and drying dishes for Geralt, and he wasn’t going to bread tradition this year. 

Geralt had a line at least 20 people deep almost all night but the clock said 11:50, which meant it was almost next year and almost last call. Jaskier was practically giddy. 

He wiggled and danced along to the music as he dried glasses and lined them up on the counter. Customers would drop their glasses behind him and he would load them up in the rack. 

One decided to put a hand on his hip and slur something about ringing in the new year but only got halfway through their proposition before Geralt had pulled Jask off the counter, “Hands off.”

Jask placed his hand on his chest, “Go back to your drinks, I’m okay.”

Geralt growled and kissed him on the forehead before he turned back to his station.

The customer was already disappearing into the crowd with their tail between their legs. If anyone wasn’t intimidated by Geralt and his angry scowl and all his monster tattoos, then Jask might be worried. But his husband looked quite the formidable character, even if he was a big softie. People finally started filing through the other lines handing out little plastic champagne flutes and Geralt had a moment to sit on the dishwasher for the first time all night. 

Jask came to stand between his legs and massaged his shoulders, “Tired love?”

Geralt leaned his forehead on Jaskier’s shoulder, “Hungry.”

“I could see if Eskel has started breaking down the kitchen?” Jaskier offered, moving Geralt’s slightly sweaty hair off his neck to cool him off. 

Geralt’s hands wrapped around his waist, “No, the countdown will start any second.” 

Jaskier laughed, “You’ve hit cuddly tired early this year.”

“You tire me out,” Geralt teased, kissing at the floral tattoo on Jaskier’s neck and leaving a little bite below his ear. 

“Technically, that was your idea. Not my fault we were late.” 

“It was a good idea,” Geralt chuckled, sitting up and wrapping his legs around Jaskier’s waist, “Happy New Year, J.”

Y’all I’ve been swamped with school stuff lately but I'm trying to work through it as fast as I can so I can get back on this hellsite and read all the wonderful lovely fic I’ve been tagged in! I also saw this prompt and was like ‘you know what? I’ve got a half-hour before my zoom class, let's fuckin do it.’ i also put it in the tattoo au bc I cant stop....

Warnings: Geralt talks about shitty stuff at the bar. fights, harassment, etc but nothing descriptive. it’s pretty soft

________________

Jaskier hummed a peppy tune as he stirred a crockpot full of curry. Geralt had the rush shift at the bar and would be coming home before midnight for once so he was intent on making it special. He’d even managed not to leave the kitchen looking like a tornado had blown through after he cooked. 

Hearing the key in the door he popped the lid back on the pot and leaned against the kitchen doorway, only the typically happy-but-exhausted ‘honey I’m home’ never came. All he heard was Geralt kicking off his boots and briefly saw him duck into the living room. The old couch creaked under his weight as he flopped onto it and Jaskier heard a long low groan. 

Double-checking he’d turned off all kitchen appliances first, Jaskier tiptoed into the living room, “You okay, love?”

He only got another grunt from Geralt who was lying face down on the cushions with his feet dangling over one end of the couch. 

I’m putting this here bc tumblr is hiding it from me in my tags and i don’t want to loose it lol

Jaskier’s tattoos limb by limb

Geralt’s tattoos limb by limb

would yall want a IUI masterlist? I’d just tuck it into my main masterlist but I could arrange it in chronological order? maybe? idk, hmu if you’d like that? idk if i could pin it since ive got my masterlist pinned, but i could put it in my bio? im also gonna transfer stuff over to AO3 this break so that might be easier? who knows? not me.