#barnes!reader

“you’re damn right something isn’t right, kid” -sam, looking around the battlefield “where’s the other half of our team?”

“it’s not the same. time has passed” -you “i know what it feels like…to wake up after a long time. you can tell it’s different. especially here”

“you’re paranoid like your dad, you know?” -sam

“i might be more paranoid than him” -you

as those who reappeared in wakanda gained their bearings, found each other—the portals opened

“sorry is this—is this a common occurrence that we just walk through mysterious portals that open for us?” -you

before you could receive a snarky remark from anyone, bucky walked through

“hey, kiddo” -bucky, open-armed

“dad!” -you, running into his arms, voice muffled by his shoulder “what the hell is going on?”

“i wish i could put it all into words right now, but we have one last battle to fight. you with me?” -bucky

“i guess the portal isn’t so mysterious now” -you

you found yourself in the ruins of the avengers compound among an army of other heroes, some you knew and some were…strange

and across the crater was thanos’s army and a massive spaceship floating overhead

“i can’t lose you again, y/n. we stick together” -bucky

the charge began and you felt so in over your head

your mind still raced with questions and you tried so hard to stay focused as aliens came rushing at you

“y/n! focus!” -bucky

he could tell you weren’t all there at the moment

“shit!” -you taking fire in the leg

that sure got you focused

your dad checked on you, along with steve who heard your “bad language word” on the comms

“can you still fight? we can get you somewhere safe if you need to tap out” -steve

“please, i can do this all day” -you, groaning as you got up

steve and bucky smiled at each other for the first time in a long time. you had never heard the phrase from either of them

“you sure this one isn’t mine?” -steve

“maybe they’ve got my memories” -bucky

“what? what are you talking about?” -you

“nothing, we’ll tell you later. on your feet, soldier” -bucky, helping you up the rest of the way “good thing us super soldiers heal fast”

“i feel better already” -you, dusting yourself off (and lying)

the battle persisted, you were exhausted, you were still weary of what you hadn’t been told yet, you were amongst a hundred other superheroes that made you feel small

and you knew at any moment you could lose your dad, or your “uncle” or anyone else here worth a damn

then you saw a gun pointed right at bucky and without thinking, you jumped in front of him to save him—taking the shot to the stomach

he immediately took out that enemy

“y/n! come on, kid, why’d you do that?” -bucky, cradling you on the ground “bucky to strange, i need an extraction. y/n’s been hit”

a portal opened up beside you and bucky took you into a medbay in wakanda where doctors were on standby, setting you on a table as they went to work

you got lucky, they were able to fix you up without major surgery, but you were weak

“we need to go back. dad, they need us” -you

“no, i need you” -bucky “we’re done, you can rest now”

bucky needed rest, too. he’d spent the last 5 years mourning you and pouring himself into work. now you were here with him again and he wouldn’t let you go

you waited to hear from the team, hoping to whatever higher power there was that they made it out and beat thanos

and the portal opened and out stepped sam and steve, filthy from battle with streaks of tears cutting through the dirt on their faces

“what? did we…we won, right?” -you

“thanos is gone” -steve nodded “we lost tony. he’s the reason we’re still standing”

the room went quiet, you and bucky guilt ridden. bucky more so. it was complicated

“we’re glad you made it out, kid” -sam, trying to break the tension as he sat at your bedside “just a scratch, right?”

“oh, yeah. gonna be one hell of a scar, though” -you

steve and bucky stepped aside

“it’s time to let y/n be a kid now. you ready?” -steve

“i have no idea. i really don’t. can they even be a kid after all of this?” -bucky

“we’ll have to tell them what happened after things settle down. what they missed.” -steve

“it really wasn’t much” -bucky

“still. and buck…i think it’s my time” -steve

“really? after all this you really want to go back and change how it happened?” -bucky

“i need to try again” -steve

you and sam exchanged stories to distract from the horrors you’d just faced. you didn’t mind the pain from the laughter, and bucky didn’t mind seeing you smile again.

after a few days of recovery you were back on your feet, leg and torso both healed well—though you were still walking with a little limp. you insisted you were fine

it was saying goodbye to steve that hurt the most, and even if bucky said he was fine you knew your dad was just as shaken by the goodbye as you were

it was hard to figure out those next steps

bucky had already been pardoned during those 5 years you missed, wrapping up his court appointed therapy in the best way possible—he got you back and he could finally be the father he’d wanted to be since before the war.

“do you feel confident navigating that?” -therapist

“no. but does anyone?” -bucky

you moved into bucky’s apartment—pretty barren after all this time

and honestly, you didn’t really know what you liked either

you got your own room and a comfy bed and any resource to decorate and it just…didn’t feel right

“well, we can go shopping? i don’t know where or for what but something’s gotta stand out right?” -bucky

he felt awful once he realized you hadn’t really found who you were just yet. anyone you age should have interests and hobbies and a favorite color

that’s how movie night started. steve gave him recommendations before he left. trying to expose you to some sense of normalcy. maybe you’d see someone’s outfit in a movie and go “i like that!” or a room decorated in a fun way and try to replicate it. maybe that was what you were missing, inspiration

the adjustment from being a child super soldier confined to cryosleep to being a teenager was not one anyone could prepare either of you for

sam tried to help when he could, bringing over board games and music and recommending old tv shows like full house and fresh prince and anything else that could kind of teach you about the teenage experience

you felt a void inside of you that you really needed to fill

“innnn west philadelphia born and raised, on the playground is where i spent most of my days—” -sam singing the fresh prince theme song during your existential crisis

you were itching to get back to what you knew, something that would make you feel a little more normal. you wanted missions again. nothing like “murder in cold blood,” just something that would validate your usefulness and make you feel like you belong

“i don’t want you doing that anymore, y/n. i want you to give you a normal life. no more missions, no more experiments” -bucky

now he was starting to feel like he was raising a teen bc you were pushing back

“then i’ll just join the military! i’m sure they’d love another super soldier!” -you

“come on, y/n. that’s just signing you life away to the government. do you want to be owned again?” -bucky “you can’t even join until you’re 18”

“i’m 64” -you

“yeah, well to the US government you were born in 2003 and you blipped. i tried to get your legal documents to make you look normal, so no, you’re not 64. you are 16” -bucky

“ugh! i didn’t ask for my life to be fixed! i am what i am and you can’t change that no matter what legal documents you lie on!” -you

“come on, y/n. you don’t have to fight anymore. you can make friends, go to school, get a job. you’re allowed to have fun now, no more taking orders” -bucky

“feels like i’m taking orders from you” -you

“oh, yeah, i’m just sooo terrible for giving you your freedom from HYDRA. sorry to wake you from your thirty year cryosleep and give you bodily autonomy again i’m just so terrible” -bucky

“shut up” -you

“what?! shut up?? you shut up!” -bucky

“was that an order?” -you, slamming your door

bucky had to call sam, who laughed at him and then told him about his nephews who were chronologically and physically younger than you but still kids that can be a pain sometimes

“am i doing something wrong?” -bucky

“listen to yourself man, does it sound like you’re doing anything wrong?” -sam “i know you grew up in a different time and all this is new territory, but being there is what matters right now. navigate it with y/n. and decorate that damn room, it looks like a prison cell”

that’s where bucky really stopped questioning every move he made and just tried to be present with you

sam recommended him the terminator movies and bucky threw together a super special movie night with pizza and popcorn and candy and fuzzy blankets and new pajamas and anything else he could find that you might’ve liked

and you kind of fell in love with the terminator movies.

“he’s like us” -you about arnold schwarenegger

“a little” -bucky stealing your snacks “but we’re cooler”

“i remember the 80s a little. they were kind of cool” -you “i had a mission in california in ‘85—now that was a weird place to be. very colorful”

you let your guard down a bit more and let yourself begin to enjoy things, got less pushy about wanting to fight again, got your room all set up

teased your dad because his room was literally barren.

you’d find him sleeping on the floor some days, but you didn’t think much of it. it made sense to you

he went on missions and left you alone in the house some days, it was nice to have some quiet and explore on your own. take walks, try new food, watch some movies you wouldn’t watch with your dad

and he texted you constantly to check in

he vented to sam and he gushed to sam—both about being your dad. it was hard some days but so rewarding others

“that’s what it’s all about” -sam

“you think clint will give me some advice?” -bucky

“couldn’t hurt to ask” -sam

clint and bucky had some unspoken similarities, talking amongst each other was comfortable

you visited the barton farm with bucky and met the barton clan

teenage daughter and son that you practically had nothing in common with, but they tried to make you feel included while clint, laura, and bucky talked

“we’re no super soldiers, but we know a thing or two about raising teenagers. we we’re both SHIELD agents but when i got pregnant, i retired” -laura

“yeah, she got the harder job, though. doing it alone while you’re still doing the job, that’s got to be a lot” -clint

“i mean, i’ve got people…sam, and…” -bucky

“us” -laura

“i don’t know how to take care of y/n. they went so long without parenting and they were a soldier themself. how do you break that mentality from them when it’s all they ever knew?” -bucky

“times like these i wish nat was still here” -clint “she wasn’t as young as y/n when i met her. she didn’t get to transition back into childhood, but it took some time to get her comfortable being a person. that part of her was always in there, the part that made her a soldier…but the humanity came back”

“y/n has humanity, what’s hard is getting them to relate to other people their age. getting into new hobbies that aren’t loading a gun fastest or shooting a moving target” -bucky

“well, y/n seems to be getting along with ours just fine” -laura, pointing at you, lila, cooper, and nathaniel playing soccer together in the yard “maybe y/n just needs space to grow, that’s usually how teenagers are”

“i mean, sure, y/n’s not gonna relate to many people their age. it’ll mostly be with other soldiers. but they can still have common interests or introduce them to new things that y/n might like and make them feel more normal. but honestly, no teenager feels ‘normal’” -clint

it was an eye opening conversation for bucky. gave him a lot to think about. made him feel less crazy. gave him the answers he was looking for

“thank you. so much. i’m so glad sam pointed me your way” -bucky

“you’re welcome back anytime” -laura

the kids also introduced you to video games, their favorite shows and movies from a teenager in this era, gave you some clothes they thought you’d like, and were sooo bummed when you and bucky went home. like you were a friend they’d known for years and didn’t want to part with

bucky and you both felt content in your own way

then the curveball came

“i’m running for congress” -bucky

“hahah, cool” -you

“i’m serious” -bucky

“…what?” -you

the campaign was honestly not bad

you decided to outwardly support your dad, show up to events, talk about your experiences and how you came back from hardship. you stole the hearts of the voters of new york

and he won

you guys moved to a nice penthouse apartment in brooklyn and despite the fact you were growing up, you still stuck with him for now. it made sense.

“i won’t be upset if you move out one of these days. i know it’s weird not having a parent until you’re almost an adult. being told to be a kid when you don’t feel like you ever were. if you need to be free i’ll support you” -bucky

“it’s okay, i could get comfortable here” -you in the new apartment

“well, okay then” -bucky (trying to hide his excitement that you dont want to leave the nest yet)

you’d hit your legal adulthood around this time and stopped being so restless about leaving and fighting and just got comfortable being a homebody

you supported “congressman barnes” and he’d listen to your point of view as a blipped person, a captive, a teen super soldier, human experimentation, and all that stuff

you actually got really into this whole political career thing

oh and you hated valentina de fontaine you could tell she was just like HYDRA

she just left a bad taste in your mouth

“oh hello, barnes junior! is it take your kid to work day?” -val

“i’m just a really big fan of impeachment” -you

“i’m sure you’ll be thoroughly disappointed after today’s hearing then!” -val

then it clicked for you. you needed to become a spy again. get the proof. get her impeached. get her thrown in prison.

bucky was thinking the same thing

and bucky was hoping you would want to, too

and that’s how you ended up riding a motorcycle through the desert and kidnapping detaining yelena belova, john walker, and ava starr

“hey bucky! this your kid? looks just like you!” -john “you know, i have a kid, too. gotta get home to the little one, you know?”

“john, i know your wife left and took your kid. now you’re working for valentina and you’re coming with us to get her impeached and thrown in prison where she belongs” -bucky

“jesus” -you

“fine, sorry, i know what it’s like to not have your kid. it’s hard. but we need val in prison as soon as possible” -bucky

it just so happened all your priorities aligned and you all went to take valentina down together

“been a while since we’ve been able to fight together” -you

“please don’t get shot again” -bucky

“i wasn’t planning on it, but maybe now i will” -you

“it is nice to see winter soldier with his equally skilled child. you remind me of me and my daughters. yelena and y/n may have something in common, as well. i hope they are getting along back there” -alexei

“child soldier?” -yelena

“child soldier. you?” -you

“yes. me too” -yelena

“nice” -you, fistbumping

shit got real fast after that. like real fast

like you got thrown against a wall by some dude with a bad dye job named “bob”

*cursing in russian*

*bucky scolding*

*yelena and alexei laughing*

*you cursing more*

“are you okay?” -bucky

“didn’t get shot” -you

“yeah but did you break your spine?” -bucky

“no i think it’s intact. i can walk it off” -you

oh cool the entirety of manhattan is in a void of darkness where you relive your mose shameful memories

sure hope they aren’t that bad!

*is a literal child supersoldier*

you saw some missions from when you were young, stuff you never wanted to see again

bucky saw the time he was so close to saving you, but he had to save himself. the way he lost himself when you blipped and had to be saved by steve.

you watched each other’s memories with understanding and guilt, knowing there was so much you didn’t know about each other still

you gave your dad a hug. you both needed it.

“let’s please get out of here so i never have to think about these things ever again, ‘kay?” -you

“i am with you there” -ava

so anyway i started blasting (a/n: danny devito reference because i can)

the team picked up yelena and bob in the void and wrapped this shitshow up with a lot of crying to follow tonight

breaking from the void and confronting val was almost successful—until you all walked into a live tv appearance

and when valentina said the you all were the new avengers, you actually smiled.

like, you knew it was going to be bad working for her, but the idea of being on a team and going on missions again—that’s what you wanted

yeah, the you and the people surrounding you were not as clean as the avengers were, but maybe this could be a good thing? maybe you could all show the world how far you’ve come.

you looked at your dad, who’s concerned face changed to something more like relief when he saw your face light up at the thought of you being an avenger, even if he couldn’t see him as an avenger himself

“i want to do good for a change” -you

“your past doesn’t define you, y/n. those things you did aren’t who you are. you don’t have to prove that you’re good” -bucky

“but i know how to use what i am for good” -you “maybe this is what i was meant to do. maybe i was always meant to be a soldier, and maybe we can make valentina work for us. this can be our way of keeping an eye on her”

“…how can i say no to you?” -bucky

During a mission, it was time for the two women to take you away from Bucky for good, making sure that you were truly theirs. And you were Theirs For The Taking. They made you feel so good, making sure you came with ease and teased you and touched you. You were afraid, and sadly you broke just as easily. They were grateful that all of those exhausting orgasms chased all the thoughts of escape out of your mind. Getting settled in with Nat and Wanda, they were discussing that they did want a child, and they knew that your inner child was just waiting to come out. It was something you missed out on after getting hurt with Steve and Bucky.

So, they forced their way into your mind to fish out what little girl they wanted to find. They made you Their Little One and kept you safe in the cabin that you all lived in, in the woods. When Bucky went to Wakanda to fight with Steve, Wanda, and Nat stayed behind with you, making sure you were taken care of. Wanda, being your main source of milk and more Mommy!dom type care, was your "Mommy" and Nat was your "Mama."

Something the three of you figured out was that really only three words pushed you to your tipping point; your Tiny Space. And those three words? Mommy Knows Best. Tiny space is where you have become completely dependent on your mommies. Needing to be carried everywhere, they trained you to put you in diapers when you are in that space, they even make sure that you have all your stuffies in your crib with you at a time. They truly love you and you love them. But now all that's left is making sure the team falls in love with little you, making sure that they love you like your mommies do.

Showing Bucky the real you... That was their biggest fear, showing you to Bucky after they faked your death and took you to make you their own. He knew something and thinks he knows His Sisters Keepers. Now living in their cabin they made just for you, they went to work, you stayed home and colored, played with your stuffies, and napped while they were gone. They would call you, make sure you were okay, and once they were back home it was snuggle time! This was your favorite time of day because this was when you were able to fall asleep the most comfortably.

After drinking some of your mommy Wanda's milk from your favorite pink baby bottle, you were out like a light holding onto Nat's hand. When Nat needs to go get your diaper changed, she brings your toy lion to you, helping you snuggle with it while she pulls your footie pajamas over your diaper-clad bottom. Still slightly asleep from the sedative they put in the bottle with your milk, little whines pour from your mouth. Wanda is quick to soothe you as she carries you with her to her bedroom, laying you down on her bed as she starts to get ready for bed as well.

All this time, they just needed someone to take care of, love, and adore. They were so damn lucky to have found you, and they wouldn't know what to do without you. But they don't have to find out any time soon. And you won't ever find out what it's like to live without them either.

The dam holding Bucky's emotions up broke. He sunk back into a chair, tears streaming down his face as Natasha sobbed into his chest. You were his baby girl. Ever since you were little he wanted nothing but to protect you from the cruel world, and now you were fighting for your life to stay in it.

"She's gonna be okay Buck." Steve nodded, attempting to make the situation a little lighter. But everyone knew it wasn't working out too well.

Natasha lifted her head from her husband's chest, "Wanda is doing okay also. She had to get around eighteen stitches total but they said she can be discharged tomorrow." Bucky nodded, not quite listening as he stared at the swinging doors, just waiting for the doctor to walk out and tell them you would be okay. He would give anything to make sure you were okay and alive.

Hours passed, four to be exact and the three were still sitting there, waiting. Olek and Iryna had come by a little after Bucky and Steve showed up. Natasha was scared they would be mad but thankfully they were just grateful no one had died. After checking up on Wanda, the three still sat in the waiting room, in silence waiting for news to come.

"Excuse me." An officer slowly walked up to the three, holding out his hand to shake. Steve took the opportunity, cutting the very obvious tension. "Are you Y/n Barne's parents?"

Natasha and Bucky stood, bobbing their heads up and down in agreement, "Yes we are." The young officer gave them a sad smile, "I'm officer Torres. We would just like you to know the man that hit your daughter and her friend head-on is now being held in interrogation and we are adamant about pressing charges." Natasha gulped, wiping the tears from her eyes with her sleeve. "And why did he..what was the uhm.." "Why the hell did he crash into them?" Bucky finished, making Natasha nod.

Officer Torres pulled his phone out, showing the three the man's mugshot. "John Walker. He was crawling from the car that hit yours. His breathalyzer test was 0.10." Bucky looked up from the phone, "Why are you telling us this? Doesn't he have certain rights that don't allow information to be shared?" Torres nodded, "Yes, and of course take your time. But if you want to press charges, do it fast, because he's slippery."

"What do you mea-" "Y/n Barne's family?"

The two ran over to the doctor followed by Steve who collectively disregarded Toress.

"Were her parents." Buck held Nat close to him, both of them fighting off tears as they waited for the doctor to speak.

"I'm Doctor Grey, I operated on your daughter." The woman stuffed her cap into her pocket, leading the two to sit down a couple seats away. At this point, they were fearing the worst.

"We were able to stop the bleeding after extracting the almost twelve-inch shard of glass from her abdomen." They listened, however hearing a 'but' coming their way.

"But.." Doctor Gray countered. There it is.

"But what?" Natasha's voice cracked, thinking of the inevitable.

"But she went into shock. We were able to get her heartbeat on a steady rhythm until something went wrong. Sometimes the body just doesn't have enough strength for traumatic events."

Bucky gulped, not wanting to hear if he would be planning his daughter's funeral. "Is she..." He trailed off, however, relieved when Dr. Grey shook her head.

"She's made it through, but is in a coma."

The first part of her sentence made the couple's hearts soar, until the doctor spoke at the end, making them cling to each other in desperation. "She's what?" Natasha mumbled, fisting her husband's henley in her hands.

"We have a good enough look at her brain to know she will wake up, it's just a matter of when." "And how long could it be?" Bucky questioned, placing a kiss on Natasha's forehead.

"That we don't know. She has to do this herself. Her body has to fight." The Doctor laid a hand on Natasha's shoulder, standing with the couple in tow. "Would you like to see her?" The two nodded hastily, about to walk through with Steve behind.

"Oh I'm sorry," Dr. Grey shook her head, "Only two visitors in the ICU at a time." Steve lifted his hand in acceptance, "It's okay. I'll check on Wanda and her parents." "Are you sure, Steve?" Bucky asked, wanting his friend to be by his side. Steve had seen you born. He had even been there for you when Bucky couldn't because of missions. He was basically a third parent, and Natasha definitely liked to tease Bucky about it.

But being the humble person Steve was, he nodded, "Go see her. I'll be here when you get back." Bucky gave Steve one last hug, "I'll keep you updated."

They exchanged one last look before Dr. Grey walked them through the doors and into the ICU wing.

Natasha and Bucky's faces dropped as soon as they saw their little girl laying in that hospital bed. Wires stuck to your chest, an IV in your hand, and an oxygen tube down your throat.

Bucky led the two over to your beside as Nat sat down beside you. "Oh, baby," Your mom spoke, stroking your hair as tears flowed freely down her cheeks. Bucky pulled up a chair, taking your hand in his. You were so cold, looking so fragile. Not even as a baby did you seem so frail. Like if he pulled or yanked a little too hard you would fall apart.

"You said she uh.." Bucky looked up to Doctor Grey as she was going through some paperwork, "She will wake up, right?" Bucky hated sounding so weak, so..fragile. But the one good thing in his life besides Natasha was you. You were the light of his life. The person who gave his life meaning from the horrors of his past. Yet now that light was dimming, and he didn't know how to fix it.

She nodded, "Yes. We will continue to check up on her brain functions but looking at where they are now.." The doctor looked at the hopeful couple, not wanting to destroy their longing in her words. "It's up to her." She placed the paperwork under her arm, walking from the room after letting the two know to ask if they needed anything.

"She's gonna wake up." Nat nodded, looking back at Bucky, "She has to wake up." The redhead fell into her husband, clinging to his shirt as she sobbed.

Natasha's composure wasn't easily broken. She was a Russian spy with perfect combat and mental skills. Crying didn't come easily to her. Especially when the tears were for you. What was once a dream of having children turned into a reality when she saw those two little lines after coming home from a mission.

Bucky and her took off time from Avenging to raise you. They wanted all of their time to go into their little bundle of joy, which meant not saving lives for a while. Yet when you were around seven they started going again. This is when Steve got more in the picture and Yelena even helped you train. Nat was against it at first but in the end, it was a good decision. She knew she would dread the day you'd have to use it but they had too many enemies to leave you defenseless.

They never thought you'd have to fight against a car, however.

"Come on," Bucky moved Nat to the spare cot in the corner of the room, maneuvering her body onto his. The two looked over at you, eyelids falling heavy until sleep consumed them.

"You need to wake up, babydoll." Bucky pleaded for the millionth time. he held your hand, the pulse in your wrist keeping his a little saner. "I need you." He nodded, "Mom needs you. Wanda and Steve do too." Looking over to the candy basket Yelena had sent, "Aunt Lena is worried sick no matter how much she hides it with humor."

Bucky let out a sob, his head collapsing onto your stomach, "I need you back in my arms, arguing with me about curfew and watching to watch the Twilight movies over and over again." He lifted his head, looking at your stoic face, "Please wake up.."

"Come on, Buck. You need to go home and get some sleep." Steve attempted and quickly failed once again. Bucky shook his head, "No. I won't leave her here alone."

It had been two months since the accident. For two full months, you had been asleep. And two months Bucky and Natasha had been in agony.

"I'll stay here with her." Steve placed a hand on his best friend's shoulder. "She won't be alone."

The brunette looked up, "I don't want her waking up alone. I want to be here." Steve sat down in front of him, pleading. "You need sleep, you need to eat, and you need to take care of yourself. Bucky tried to object only for Steve to hold up his hand. "Natasha is at home asleep. She can come back here while you rest."

It took a minute but Bucky let out a breath, standing and walking over to your sleeping figure. "I'll be back doll." He leaned down, kissing the crown of your head and holding himself there. A tear fell onto your hair but he only wiped it away as Steve led him from the room. "Go. Take a shower, get a sandwich." The brunette waved his friend off, stumbling from the hospital and to his bike.

Steve walked back in, sitting by your bed and holding your hand. "You need to wake up, kiddo. For all of us."

"She's waking up!! Get me the Doctor Grey!!" A nurse shouted, scurrying around the room. Your eyes were wide, watching everyone around you in a panic. The heart monitor was beeping off the walls and you couldn't seem to talk. All you wanted at this moment were your parents. Your mom and dad but you couldn't see them.

"What's happening?!"

Steve! You saw your Uncle Steve walk in with a cup of coffee in his hand, asking questions with a worried expression covering his features.

"Alright, Yn, I'm Doctor Grey." You felt the woman lifting your upper torso with the bed, standing above you. "I'm gonna take this tube out, alright?" You did your best to nod, watching as she stripped the tape from under your nose. "Take a deep breath in." You did as she said. "One more." You did again.

"Alright, one more deep breath." And right when you inhaled, she snatched the tube, quickly and steadily removing it from your throat. "Cough it out." She rubbed your back as you choked and hacked loudly.

"Where are my-" You tried to clear your voice but the raspy feeling made it harder to talk. "Here's some water." A nurse lifted a plastic cup to your lips, letting you gulp the cool water down to soothe your throat.

"Steve.." You rasped out, instantly being tackled in a bear hug by your uncle. "Oh, you're okay!" He let out a deep breath, holding the back of your head to his chest. You let out a laugh, "What the hell happened?"

He pulled away, grabbing his phone from the table. "I'll let your parents explain, okay?" You nodded, laying your head back as exhaustion overtook your body.

"Oh, baby!" Natasha ran through the door, at your side in an instant. "Hey mom." You reciprocated her hug, breathing in the warm vanilla scent she always smelled like.

When she pulled away, sobbing, your dad sat down beside her, "Hey, doll." You smiled, pulling you in for a hug, "Hi dad."

His large arms covered you as he pulled you in his embrace. "You're awake doll." You nodded, mumbling into his chest, "I heard you. Talking to me." Bucky looked down at you, tears filling his eyes.

"I'm glad your okay, doll." He held you close to him, "I'm glad you're okay."

"Hey, dad." Bucky hummed as you raised your head to look at him.

"I'm sorry I crashed your car." Bucky let out a laugh, "It's okay doll." "Really?" "Mhm." He nodded, smiling "But I am never letting you drive an expensive car again."

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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You had no idea what was happening. At all. You weren’t even from Wakanda. You were just supposed to be checking on Bucky, since he was in cryo-freeze to be deprogrammed from the Winter Soldier. And don’t get me wrong, Bucky was attractive and women had always been all over him. But you were always the reason they left quickly, since you were Bucky’s priority, his big sister. You could hold your own in a fight, a point that you would make to both Steve and Bucky many times over the years, all of them. When you found out your baby brother had been drafted, you immediately enlisted as a nurse. You quickly became the personal nurse for the Howling Commandos, getting into trouble with all of them as you had growing up with your brother and his best friend. Whom you had gone down on the plane with after your brother had fallen off the train.

And now, 70 some-odd years later, you are flying into a hidden country that is globally known as very poor, but is actually thriving and has the most advanced technology you’ve ever seen. And oh God, the king? Oh, the king. King T’Challa was literally the nicest person ever, after he discovered Bucky didn’t actually kill his father. Yeah, you definitely went with Steve during the Civil War, much to Tony’s dismay. But T’Challa, he was just so… you couldn’t even find the words for it, but Steve was always the poet anyway.

T’Challa had never treated you badly, but he was not as warm to you as he was to Steve, or even Bucky, and yet you had completely fallen for him. To the point where you actually dreaded coming to Wakanda to check on Bucky because you always made a fool of yourself. Every. Single. Time.

“Ms. Barnes, Captain Rogers, you are back.” T’Challa said suddenly, surprising you. “I assume you’re here for Sergeant Barnes?”

“Your Highness. I am, yes. I’m just wondering how Bucky’s doing.” You said, reiterating what he said. You closed your eyes and shook your head softly.

Steve placed his hand on your back. “It’s okay, N/N. Could we see him?”

“Of course you can. Shuri has almost finished deprogramming Sergeant Barnes, and we should be pulling him out of the ice tomorrow, if all goes well. You’re welcome to stay and be here.” T’Challa started leading you to the room Bucky was being kept in cryo in. Although you all knew he didn’t need to due to the amount of times you and Steve had visited Bucky, both separately and together.

“Stevie? Sissy?” Bucky said, sitting up in a hospital bed. T’Challa raised an eyebrow in Shuri’s direction at this new development, she only shrugged. “You guys are okay?”

“Buck.” Steve breathed out, fighting the urge to go and wrap him in the world’s biggest bear hug. You were not having the same issue, running over to Bucky and doing exactly what Steve wanted to.

“Kiddo. Buddy. Buck, you can’t ever do anything like that again, okay? We were all supposed to go home together, buddy, and all of a sudden you weren’t coming home, and then Steve and I weren’t going home either. But now we can go home. Please, Bucky, say you’ll never go again?” You were crying at this point, having missed your baby brother so much yet not having found the words to say it before, since Steve had the exact same feeling.

Bucky pulled you into his chest, kissing the top of your head. “I’m not going anywhere, dumbass. Gotta protect you and Stevie. Lord knows Steve can’t protect my big sister right. Speaking of, get your ass over here, punk. What are you waiting for?”

Steve came over to the two of you and also wrapped Bucky in a hug, kissing the top of his head. “I missed you, Buck.”

“I know you did. I missed you both too.”

“Given a few months of recovery, most of your memories should return, Sergeant.” Shuri interrupted the moment the three of you were having, but none of you minded. “The brain is a funny thing, so I cannot be sure when or if it will happen, I just have to hope that it will.”

T’Challa was standing there silently, shell-shocked. Bucky was your brother?! Your baby brother?! “I’m sorry, wait, you two are related?” He asked.

You looked at Bucky, and then you both burst out laughing. “Yes!” He said.

“I was there when you were born, I think I was either second or third to hold you, but I don’t quite remember that far back. I was young, two or three, and Daddy was off at war still.” You said, stroking Bucky’s cheek with your thumb. He nuzzled into your hand as he always did. “I remember sitting with Momma, in her hospital bed, and with her arms wrapped around my arms wrapped around you. I’m sure I wasn’t actually holding you, but that’s my first clear memory. There are little snippets from before and after, and the memory has faded over time, but I remember the first time I got to hold you. And now you’re bigger than I am.” You smiled, tears slipped down your cheeks at that memory resurfacing. It had been so long since you had had time to remember your childhood without your sisters.

“Oh, N/N.” Steve said, rubbing your back. 

Bucky pulled you back into his chest. “You’d never told me that before. I didn’t know you were there.”

You heard Shuri laugh at something T’Challa had said in their whispered argument. “Would either of you care to tell us what’s so funny about our touching reunion?” You said, muffled by Bucky’s red Henley.

Shuri, still giggling, explained. “Your last name is Barnes, so my darling brother thought you were married to the Sergeant.”

“That’s a new one.” Steve said, chuckling softly.

“I know we look nothing alike, but that is new.” You added.

Bucky was full-on giggling, which was nice to see after the events of the Civil War. “We’ve never been mistaken for being married before.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After T’Challa found out you weren’t married to Bucky, and you only shared a last name because you were his sister, he was much nicer to you. In fact, you could almost say he treated you like he was going to make you his queen. You and Steve had decided to stay in Wakanda for a few weeks to help Bucky with his memory, the new metal arm Shuri made for him, and it gave you both a break from being on the run.

Unfortunately, the entire time you had been in Wakanda, all anyone could talk about was the big birthday party they were throwing for the King. It was no surprise to him, of course, you were sure he was part of the planning committee. But it just bugged you, spending weeks talking about a fancy party that half of them weren’t even going to go to due to family issues, political reasons, or fighting with the other tribes. Bucky was going, of course, to repay T’Challa and Shuri for their kindness. So Steve was going to keep him out of trouble, and you were going to keep Steve out of trouble.

‘I had him on the ropes.’ Sure you did, Stevie. Sure you did. Steve Rogers, never one to start a fight he could actually finish. Although Steve was always picked on, he made sure he treated everyone well. He never let anyone mistreat a woman, and there were multiple times he stood up for you, even though you were closer to the guys’ height than he was.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You glanced at T’Challa from across the room, sipping at your drink of choice. Happy birthday to him, you thought, bitterly. He gets fancy drinks, and women in nice dresses flaunting themselves, no, throwing themselves at him. They probably don’t even want to be with him, they just want the money and title. He deserves so much better. You sighed softly, making both Bucky and Steve look at you.

“Something wrong, doll?” Steve asked.

“No, no. I’m fine. I’m just a little tired.” You replied, faking a yawn to accentuate your point.

“You sure about that?” Bucky asked, wiggling his eyebrows and sticking out his tongue a little. “If looks could kill, N/N, the women swarming T’Challa would be dead.”

You rolled your eyes. “No idea what you’re talking about, brother dearest.”

He smirked. “That’s what you told me when you were in 11th grade and ‘didn’t like Tommy’. Busted.” He told you, properly using air quotes. He was catching on much quicker than you and Steve had.

“Just don’t say anything. I’m sure it’ll go away in a couple of months. It’s nothing.”

“It’s not nothing if you’re asking them not to say anything about it.” Shuri said, sitting down next to you. “Now spill the tea.” The three of you blinked in confusion. “Tell me the drama, what’s going on?” She clarified. Wow, the new generation really does have a term for everything. You looked between your brother and best friend, silently begging them not to say anything, much like when the three of you were in trouble as teenagers.

Steve, ever the snitch, broke first. “N/N likes T’Challa!” You were just happy the music didn’t stop, although suddenly if a pin dropped, anyone would hear it. The air felt thick and you felt like you were suffocating. You stood up, left the party, and walked back towards Bucky’s quarters, deciding the fresh air on the balcony near there would do you some good.

Once you got to the balcony, you sat down, put your feet up, took your heels off, and looked up at the stars. You had sat there for what felt like forever, entranced by the stars when you heard the door open behind you. “Stevie, have you ever kept a secret for longer than a minute?” You asked, assuming he was the one that followed you, probably to apologize, knowing Steve.

“Sorry to disappoint, Miss Barnes, but I am not Captain Rogers.” T’Challa said from behind you.

“Oh, Your Majesty.” You said, standing. “I’m so sor-”

T’Challa put his hand up to stop you. “Please don’t apologize, Miss Barnes. Your feelings are requited. That is why I was not as warm to you as I was to the Captain and the Sergeant. The most gorgeous lady I have ever had the pleasure of laying eyes on. Married to Sergeant Barnes? Impossible. I was overjoyed when I discovered the two of you were merely siblings.”

“Bucky’s a good-looking dude, Your Highness. It’s not that hard to believe, other than the fact that he’s been in love with Steve since he was.. 13. Those two are idiots in love, especially since Steve’s been in love with Bucky from the first time they met.”

“How did you manage to miss the entire point I was trying to make?” He asked, chuckling and shaking his head. You sat back down, looking up at the stars.

“It just doesn’t seem real. A king falling for an army nurse out of her time?” You said, tracing the constellations Bucky had told you about as a teenager with your index finger.

T’Challa recognized it, “Ursa Major?”

You nodded. “I had the unfortunate pleasure of babysitting Bucky while doing my homework. He was obsessed with the stars, I had to take him to the library every week to get a new book about them. He learned about all the constellations, I would help him find the ones we could. I don’t know if more have been found, or if he even remembers, but I do. The stars helped me find him.”

“That’s lovely.” He said, sitting next to you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hours later, T’Challa had finally asked if he could kiss you. You allowed it.

“May I take you to bed, my queen?”

“Of course, my king.”

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I pressed play on the computer at my side. I kept my eyes focused on the projector screen, no matter how much it made my eyes burn. It was past one in the morning. Steve had gone into the ice forty-eight years ago on the 5th. It only made me more determined to find Howard’s killer. I sighed as the video played. My stomach churned as I watched a HYDRA agent swerve his motorcycle, causing Howard to crash into a telephone pole.

“Why did they go in the dead of night?” I whispered, drained.

Alex shook his head from the desk chair. “I wish we knew. None of it ever makes sense.”

“Wait, wait, wait. There!” I pointed, and Alex scrambled to pause the video. “Go back, just a second or two.”

He did as told, and I scoffed. “Fucker looks right at the camera.”

“It’s no use, Lo. Half his face is covered.”

I shook my head. “It’s better than nothing. Is there any way you could pull a decent-quality image from it?” I crossed my arms over my chest.

He turned back to the computer and nodded, sighing deeply. “Yeah. It might take a while, but I’m pretty sure I can do it.”

“Cool.” I sighed, turning my attention to the papers amassed on the table. “I’ll pull the list of known HYDRA agents that were in the same area around the same time.”

Alex nodded, turning his full attention to the computer. I stifled a yawn as I sat down at the table, pulling a pile of filing folders towards me.

************************************************************************

“Logan, wake up.” Alex’s hands were on my shoulders, gently squeezing.

“What’s up?” I sat up, wiping my eyes.

“You crashed looking through all of our intel, but I got the picture.” He pushed himself up to sit on the table. “It’s clear. We can find him.”

I held my hands out for the picture. I rubbed the last of the sleep from my eyes and held the picture in the light, ready to bust the sick son of a bitch once and for all.

“Lo?” Alex asked, trying to gauge my reaction.

I ripped the paper in my hands to shreds, and Alex scrambled to pick them all up. I went straight for the computer, and Alex caught my wrist, yanking me back.

“What the hell is wrong with you?”

“I can’t.” I spoke through gritted teeth, pulling my arm back to no avail.

“Logan, we’ve been working on this for a year and half. What the fuck is going on?”

I shook my head. “Alex. I know this person-”

“What the hell-”

“And I can assure you that they are not-”

“Logan, what the fuck!”

“They are not in control of themselves! He’s not. Okay? Because he wouldn’t do this.” I jerked my arm back and went for the computer again.

Alex followed, scowling. “You were dead to the world for thirty years. People change.”

“Not him.” I shook my head and turned to him. “Not him, not like that. I promise. You need to trust me, Alex.”

“Why the fuck would I do that?”

I hit the button to delete all of the work we had done over the last year.”

“You know me, Alex. You know about my parents, about Steve, about the serum and the other weird powers. You know about my brother. About how he fell off a fucking train and nobody blinked twice. And I know you. I know about your shitty father and about your dead mom, and I know about Carol.”

“Shut up.” Alex hissed.

“I need you to trust me, Alex.”

“For fucks sake, Logan-”

I didn’t give him the chance to finish. I tore the computer in two, ripping out the hard drive.

“You wouldn’t fucking dare.”

I held it in my hands and snapped it over my knee.

“You’re fucking crazy.”

“God, Alex, if only you fucking knew.” I spat, feeling an anger I had last felt when Steve lost Bucky.

“So what now? You gonna go fucking rogue?”

I laughed. “I’m gonna blame you for all of this,” I pointed at the mess of technology, “and then I’m gonna get to go back under.”

He started for the door. “I don’t fucking think so.”

I was faster, stronger, stealthier. I was unstoppable. A super-soldier pissed beyond belief. And I would do whatever it took to protect my family. I flicked my knife from its holster.

“I’m sorry, Alex. I really did love you. I’ll make sure it’s painless.”

************************************************************************

I sat in the middle of the room, covered in bruises and sweat. My nose was bleeding, and I had earned a gouge above my eyebrow from Alex’s wristwatch. He had fought back hard, but I couldn’t be helped. I needed to protect the person who killed Howard, no matter how much it compromised my integrity, or that of my soul.

“He revealed himself as a HYDRA agent and tried to strangle her.” Keller whispered to his boss, who had come to see the scene himself.

“She fought back?”

“She’s a super-soldier, sir. The one Carter left on ice.”

Keller’s boss nodded, and as he looked at me, I looked away. A white sheet soaked the blood that had spilled. They spoke again, this time in whispers. Keller approached me, squatting so that we would be eye-to-eye.

“Please, sir.”

“What is it?”

“Please put me back on ice.” I whispered, feeling tears well in my eyes.

I wanted to rest.

“No.”

“What?”

“If you don’t wanna keep working with us, there’s the door.” He pointed over his shoulder.

I forced myself to my feet and scowled. “Go fuck yourself, Keller.”

“Excuse me?”

“Oh don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone about all the fucked shit you’ve pulled.” I called over my shoulder as I began to make my way out of the room.

“Where do you think you’re going?” Keller’s boss grabbed my shoulder.

I shook him loose. “Don’t fucking touch me.”

“Barnes!” Keller shouted.

I kept my head down and made a break for it as SHIELD agents began to come after me. I busted out of the office building, and disappeared into the street.

Previous: January 25, 1992