#barnes!reader

and as HYDRA evolved new ways to exert their control and influence, they found new ways to torture bucky

now they were taking his DNA to create a new, better soldier—one who knew no old life

the child they’d genetically modified was implanted in another test subject with bucky’s dna

it was no use fighting it, bucky had to comply

you were born 9 months later, and as you grew you were subjected to more tests with hormones and serums that would make you as strong as the super soldier serum

bucky protested the moment he laid eyes on what would be his child

“that is me. that child is apart of me. you can’t expect me to stand by and let you torture them” -bucky

“you are in no position to make demands, or else you will face the consequences” -hydra

they were generous enough to let him name you

“y/n…” -bucky

“good, good. now y/n will be a good soldier for us, you will make sure of that” -hydra

“what? no—i can’t” -bucky

“stop it! you will do as i say or i will say the words to make you” -hydra

you were held over his head every time he strayed until he was a shell of himself

he trained you, but was not allowed to do anything more. he wanted to badly to be a father to you and take you away from this, but he’d disconnect the moment his trigger words were spoken

he was desperate to break free and take you with him

he coped in his dreams. in his dreams he was your dad and you were his child.

and even after mind wipes, he felt that connection to you

to you, that was the winter soldier. the man that trained you until he was put back on ice

you and him operated on opposite stints for a few years when you were skilled enough, around your mid teens

your first mind wipe came when you were sent to retrieve stolen information from a rogue hydra agent—that’s when you learned the truth and failed your first mission

“wait! please! i can tell you everything you didn’t know. you are the winter soldier’s child! i have the proof in that briefcase you’re holding. don’t kill me, please!” -defector

for the first time, you hesitated and decided to listen. your gun was still pointed at the man, you flipped through the files, you found your profile. and bucky’s.

“see?! i told you. they genetically engineered you to be their perfect soldier with his DNA! he was a prisoner of world war two, his real name is james barnes. you are y/n barnes. i watched them wipe his memory when he started to fight my superiors on how they treated you. he doesn’t remember.” -defector

you spared the man and took the files

and confronted your keepers at HYDRA

“the winter soldier is my father?! the man who trained me my whole life—and you removed that memory from him?” -you, slamming the files down on alexander pierce’s desk

“i am very disappointed in you…you’ve never failed a mission before. maybe it’s time for your attitude correction” -pierce

you were strapped down and mind-wiped but after the third time finding out and going ballistic you were still pretty lucid.

minds are harder to be broken when they come that way.

“you are my enemy. you hold me captive to do your bidding. you kidnapped my father and turned him into a weapon. you created me to be a weapon. and now, i’m going to kill you” -you

they quickly activated the winter soldier to subdue you, but you managed to drop a few bodies before you were taken down

they decided to put you on ice. permanently.

it was the mid-90s by now and with the loss of you as an asset, HYDRA decided to find new operatives

trained soliders were administered the serum and trained by the winter soldier to be better than him, but the project failed after they all turned on HYDRA

they were then put on ice like you, and stored with you in a HYDRA base in siberia

years went by and bucky was all alone, but when he saw steve again and broke from his trance, his mind started to uncloud

bucky fled to romania feeling something was missing. someone

but no matter what he did, he couldn’t figure out what was wrong. who he missed.

it kept him tossing and turning at night

and one day he risked trying to access the HYDRA files the black widow had leaked

he found his own file, and that led him to you

your picture. his kid. y/n barnes. born in 1960. put into cryostasis intermittently for testing and permanently in 1990. residing at the sibera base of operations.

he started to remember you. training you, caring for you, missing you.

fortunately or unfortunately, bucky was framed for a terrorist attack and steve tracked him down to clear him

and once it was safe to talk (after bucky was arrested and zemo activated the winter soldier and steve and sam got bucky to a safe location) bucky told steve everything

“steve. i have a kid. they need me.” -bucky

“are they like you?” -steve

“yes. they were an experiment, i trained them. HYDRA put them on ice after they broke from their programming. i found the files your friend leaked, i know where they’re keeping y/n” -bucky

“y/n? you always liked that name.” -steve

“they let me name y/n” -bucky, chuckling “i was never allowed to be a father, though. i want to be. now that im free”

“we can help with that. what can we do?” -sam

“i know where they’re keeping them. but there are more” -bucky

“more kids? jesus, man” -sam

“no, no. no more kids. other soldiers” -bucky

“super soldiers?” -steve

“after y/n failed as a winter soldier, they started a new program with an elite death squad. it didn’t work out, so they got put on ice with y/n” -bucky

and that sparked the effort to fix bucky’s image and get you back, all the while avoiding tony’s resistance

when bucky and steve finally broke through tony’s defenses, bucky felt so much relief that he’d soon see you again—regardless of the dire circumstances

he expected to fight the other winter soldiers as he arrived—and shocked to find each of them dead and zemo standing in front of you, still asleep, pointing a gun at your head through the glass

“don’t do this, zemo. what do you want?” -steve

“i want my wife and child back. you avengers are responsible for their deaths. sokovia, just a year ago. the avengers don’t care for collateral damage, why should i?” -zemo

“i want my kid back, too. that’s why im here” -bucky, looking at you

“why do you think you deserve them, winter soldier? you have caused nothing but pain and suffering to everyone you have come into contact with for decades, you are dangerous and so is this one” -zemo

tony charged him to save you

the gun went off and broke the glass of your pod, just missing you

but it ended your cryostasis and you slowly began to wake in an emergency protocol

while this happened, zemo activated the tape to distract tony—the tape of bucky killing tony’s parents

“you knew?” -tony

“i didn’t know it was him” -steve

by the time their battle concluded, you stumbled from your pod. you saw the dead soldiers stored beside you. you investigated your surroundings and there you saw it. the man with the metal arm

“dad?” -you, for the first time

“y/n…” -bucky, running to hug you

you’d never gotten a hug before. never been shown affection. barely been called by your name. you had no idea where you were or how you’d been woken up, but your dad’s arms were wrapped around you and the world stood still a moment

“i thought i’d never see you again” -bucky

“how is this possible? wait, what year is it?” -you

“2016” -steve

“i’ve been frozen 26 years?!” -you “hang on. is that captain america?”

“that’s my best friend, steve rogers” -bucky

“nice to meet you, y/n” -steve “buck, we gotta get out of here, its not safe”

t’challa, the prince of wakanda, granted you both sanctuary as bucky and you needed help acclimating to the world and undoing all that programming

you were a lot better off than him. you didn’t have trigger words because you’d been conditioned since birth—it didn’t seem necessary at the time. training in espionage helped you to act more like a normal person and not a russian super soldier. but your real issue was bonding, human connection, emotion. things that had been suppressed your whole life

you always felt connected to bucky though

bucky started from scratch with you. he told you about his childhood and his friendship with steve. his parents. trips to the fair. enlisting in the army. bad dates. good dates. what he wanted in life. his plans for you even though you didn’t come into his life the way he planned it

you were physically in your late teens at this point but chronologically you were in your late fifties. there were a lot of jokes made about it.

you definitely could make light of your situation, even if you missed out on pretty much every single normal thing imaginable

t’challa gifted a stuffed animal “from your home” to give to you

“it says ‘i heart new york,’ i thought it would be a nice gesture” -t’challa

“thank you, t’challa. i really hope y/n likes it” -bucky

“for someone with a background like that, they seem to be very well adjusted. i know it’s new being a father, but you are doing great” -t’challa

“that…means a lot. i really thought i was doing something wrong” -bucky

“do not doubt yourself, my friend. now go, you’re depriving your child of a teddy bear” -t’challa

bucky was beaming when he found you to give you this stuffed bear. and for the first time since you two finally became a family, you cried.

“thank you. it’s…it’s really cute. i love it” -you, beginning to sob like a switch inside you just flipped

“hey, hey, what’s wrong? why are you crying” -bucky

“i don’t know” -you

“it’s okay. i get it. it’s weird being a person again—your own person” -bucky

“i was never my own person though. i was always HYDRA’s” -you

“you’re right. i’m sorry. they never let you be a kid” -bucky

“i’m sorry for stabbing you when i was a kid” -you “i wouldn’t have done that if i knew you were my dad”

“it’s okay, i cherished the scar. it was sort of like a gift?” -bucky, chuckling

“don’t be weird. i stabbed you” -you

“and i trained you to stab me. that means you were doing well” -bucky

“you were holding back. now i know why” -you, staring at the teddy bear “are you sure you want to be a father to me? i’m sure i’m not ideal”

“of course i do. i don’t care how it happened. you are mine and i will always be here for you.” -bucky

“promise?” -you

“i promise, y/n. from the moment they let me hold you, i knew i would do whatever it took to keep you safe. and fifty years later, we’re finally free” -bucky

wakanda was nice. quiet where you guys settled. they did their work to help bucky, and shuri actually made an effort to help you feel “normal” and “modern”

“i picked some clothes out for you. they’re very american, but i tried to pick a style i think would suit you. none of that leather shit you wore when you were on missions. this is much more comfortable” -shuri “i also picked out some movies i think you and your father would like. well, some i wouldn’t watch with my dad, i put them in a separate pile”

that’s how movie nights started

“you know, when i was a kid we could only watch movies in theaters. and all the movies were in black and white. some were even silent” -bucky

“i get it, dad. you’re ancient” -you, exaggeratingly rolling your eyes

“hey, you’re even rolling your eyes like a normal kid. that’s what i call progress” -bucky

shuri snuck “the wizard of oz” into the stack, which got bucky super excited

“oh! this is the last movie i saw before i went overseas. we need to watch this one” -bucky

he hummed to the music and you couldn’t help but smile. especially when he started to mumble the words to “somewhere over the rainbow”

it made you jealous of the fact you were never a kid with a dad tucking you in at night and singing you to sleep

but you just smiled and kept your mouth shut, letting bucky enjoy his old memories and make new ones with you

shuri knew what she was doing with these movies for sure.

she gave you some music to listen to and shows to watch and taught you how to use social media to catch up on the times. basically anything to keep you busy while they worked on bucky.

and one day they said his trigger words and he was perfectly fine. no more winter soldier.

you cried with him

this was it. nothing more hanging over your heads. this was freedom in its purest form.

“we can finally build a life, y/n. what would you want to do first?” -bucky

“i honestly wouldn’t know where to start” -you

as badly as you were ready to have your dad for good, start a normal life in new york like he wanted, things weren’t so simple. he was a wanted fugitive and you were a ghost.

and then thanos happened

(A/N: for alternate ending, stop here and go to my Blip AU where Bucky survives and reader blips!)

you protected wakanda as best as you could, but you failed

“dad? no! dad, i can’t lose you again!” -you as bucky dusted away

you were alone again

separated. torn apart. ruined. agonized. bucky was gone and you were alive and after all that work you were alone again.

steve sought to it that you were taken care of

and steve you knew. you knew him from stories. bucky was friends with him since they were kids. they fought in the war together. steve saved bucky and saved you.

“y/n. come to new york with me. i want to be there for you” -steve

you agreed, and for a short period of time you thought you could bring him back

but by the time you found thanos you knew it was over

steve tried to get you to stay with him, but you needed more than that

so he gave his blessing to nat to make you an avenger. train you to use what you were made for to be good and fight to keep the world safe.

“i’m doing this on the condition that you balance your life out. now that you live in new york, i’m here for you. i grew up with your dad, i know what he always wanted for his kid and i want to give that to you since he can’t” -steve

“you want to replace him?” -you

“absolutely not, y/n. i want to fulfill his wishes. i loved bucky, he was the only family i had growing up. now i want to be yours” -steve

you accepted steve’s effort, you accepted him as family. you listened to him, went to him for advice, made a name for yourself as an avenger, made memories with your chosen family

steve took you to dinner once a week to catch up, even if you guys weren’t feeling up to it he kept you in a routine

“what kind of food do you want to try tonight?” -steve

“i haven’t tried chinese food yet” -you

“oh, my god. why did i wait so long to get you chinese food. there’s so many things to choose from, you’ll love it” -steve “i remember when i was introduced to chinese food. best day ever.”

he always tried to make you feel better when you were down

“you know your dad shot me once when he was the winter soldier?” -nat, showing you her scar

“you know i stabbed him during training when i was a kid?” -you

steve told you the story about bucky blowing $50 trying to win a prize at a fair for a girl he just met

“he had the name ‘y/n’ picked since we were young, you know?” -steve

it was incredible that there was still someone alive from his past. what were the odds?

steve made you feel closer to him

as the world slowly healed, so did you

you trained with nat a lot and she always noticed which moves you taught yourself and which ones bucky taught you

and now she was teaching you black widow moves!

you slept with the bear bucky gave you in wakanda every night

you aimed to make him proud of you every waking moment

“i miss him” -you “why doesn’t anything ever work out?”

“i wish i had an answer for you, kiddo” -steve

you hadn’t seen tony stark since thanos died. and he wasn’t your biggest fan having been the son of a couple your father happened to murder.

but when scott lang, someone believed to have been a victim of thanos, appeared at the avengers compound, you didn’t have much a choice

tony gave you a weird look when you got to his house. you understood. but after shutting down nat, steve, and scott, he gave you a hug?

“i don’t hate you. i know that’s what you’re thinking. you’re a good kid and i’m glad you found your place in the world. i’m sorry for the hand you were dealt” -tony

you were stunned.

“before you ask me why i’m saying all of this—being a father changes you. weird, huh? i remember the day we found you in that pod. and i almost killed your dad for killing mine. but water under the bridge. i’m glad you guys got the chance to be a family, even if it was only brief” -tony

nat pulled you back to the car while you were tearing up. you got your hopes up. tony’s heart to heart made you even more emotional. and hey, nat had been teaching you to feel your emotions the way she was taught to when she was freed from the red room—now they were your biggest weakness

“tony meant well, y/n. he didn’t mean to upset you” -steve

“no, i know. i just wasn’t expecting him to be nice is all. it meant a lot. and i’m a little disappointed he didn’t help, but i get it. it was a big ask” -you

the way cassie reunited with scott when he came back, that’s what scott was thinking about. he wished you could have that with your dad. its a dad thing. scott was crying too. you were a bit confused by that.

“sorry. i just—im a little sensitive. please just ignore me” -scott

“i’m trying but you are ugly crying” -you

scott gave you a very tight hug. very fatherly.

“remember i’m a trained assassin” -you

“trained assassins still need hugs” -scott

“he’s right” -nat

all hope seemed lost

but a curious tony brainstormed a bit and ended up discovering the key to time travel and…the mission was a-go

you went to new york 2012 to get the infinity stones back. stuck with steve. you’d heard stories of this battle from steve and nat, it was entirely different to see it in person.

you didn’t have much to say here. the mission didn’t go as planned and you weren’t so connected to this event that it’d be significant. you panicked as everything went to shit.

“we have one more shot. but y/n, you can’t come with us” -tony

“what?! why not. we’re in this together!” -you

“he’s right, y/n. it wouldn’t be right” -steve

“where the hell are you going? why is this such a big deal?” -you

“SHIELD. 1970. they didn’t know HYDRA had infiltrated them and we cant risk you changing history” -tony

“you’re barring me from the most important mission of my life because you think im going to mess up the timeline?!” -you

“yep!” -tony, hitting the button on your arm to send you back to the present “what? it was good timing. wasn’t like y/n was gonna do it themself”

“it was a little harsh” -steve

“hey, i’m raising a kid of my own now. sometimes you gotta be stern” -tony

“yeah, it’s different when they’re in their 20’s and had no autonomy for fifty years” -steve

“what a dilemma…they’ll get over it” -tony

you spawned back at the avengers compound present day with the rest of them

“dick move, tony!” -you, lunging forward

“hey, hey, it’s over now, we did what we needed, everything is fine. take a breath” -steve, intercepting

then clint dropped to his knees

“where’s nat?”

your stomach dropped. she’s gone. another person lost to you.

you could have given up right there, you’d lost that last bit of willpower

but steve wouldn’t let you

scott was actually the one to try to comfort you while the rest of the crew mourned. you felt bad, you didn’t know her as long as everyone else

“hey, i know i haven’t known you that long, but i know you’ve known natasha for the past five years. just because you don’t go all the way back to 2012 with these people doesn’t mean you cant have feelings about it. she was your family too” -scott

“you know, your daughter is lucky to have a dad like you” -you

“i’ll have you know, i was a real idiot for a really long time. i got arrested when she was a kid, didnt see her for years, fought to get custody, saved her from an evil guy in a yellowjacket suit, went to germany to go fight with cap and your dad, went on the run, got arrested again, went under house arrest, and then got stuck in the quantum realm for five years. sometimes you just have to roll with the punches, okay? progress isn’t linear and life is rarely fair” -scott

“how’s your daughter?” -you

“really good. older. that part sucks. and when your dad sees you again—and he will—yours gonna be older too and he’s gonna look at you with so much pride, im sure of it. wanna know why? because you saved the day” -scott

steve finally found you and apologized for not comforting you sooner

“it’s okay, scott kept me company” -you

“uncle scott” -scott

“don’t push it” -you

“we’re ready” -steve

bruce did the honors and snapped the population back. and then past thanos showed up.

now it was time to fight

winning came at a cost—another life lost

you saw your dad again. felt whole again.

he grabbed you by the face

“you’re getting old” -bucky

“please, with these genes i’ll look like this forever” -you

you hugged him tight and for a second time in your life, the world stopped spinning

now was time for damage control

you gave steve a big hug and a “good luck”

“love you, kiddo” -steve

“what’s that thing dad says? ‘dont do anything stupid til i get back?’” -you

“you told them that?!” -bucky

“oh, he told me sooo much” -you

“hey, what can i say? i never listen” -steve

and then steve vanished. and panic ensued when he didn’t come back—until they noticed the old man on the bench

“why?” -you

“you guys don’t need me anymore. you have each other” -steve

“i’ll always need you, steve. you’re family” -you

you wanted to stop losing people. but at least this time it felt okay

“what now, dad?” -you, tears in your eyes

“well, what did i miss this time?” -bucky

During a mission, it was time for the two women to take you away from Bucky for good, making sure that you were truly theirs. And you were Theirs For The Taking. They made you feel so good, making sure you came with ease and teased you and touched you. You were afraid, and sadly you broke just as easily. They were grateful that all of those exhausting orgasms chased all the thoughts of escape out of your mind. Getting settled in with Nat and Wanda, they were discussing that they did want a child, and they knew that your inner child was just waiting to come out. It was something you missed out on after getting hurt with Steve and Bucky.

So, they forced their way into your mind to fish out what little girl they wanted to find. They made you Their Little One and kept you safe in the cabin that you all lived in, in the woods. When Bucky went to Wakanda to fight with Steve, Wanda, and Nat stayed behind with you, making sure you were taken care of. Wanda, being your main source of milk and more Mommy!dom type care, was your "Mommy" and Nat was your "Mama."

Something the three of you figured out was that really only three words pushed you to your tipping point; your Tiny Space. And those three words? Mommy Knows Best. Tiny space is where you have become completely dependent on your mommies. Needing to be carried everywhere, they trained you to put you in diapers when you are in that space, they even make sure that you have all your stuffies in your crib with you at a time. They truly love you and you love them. But now all that's left is making sure the team falls in love with little you, making sure that they love you like your mommies do.

Showing Bucky the real you... That was their biggest fear, showing you to Bucky after they faked your death and took you to make you their own. He knew something and thinks he knows His Sisters Keepers. Now living in their cabin they made just for you, they went to work, you stayed home and colored, played with your stuffies, and napped while they were gone. They would call you, make sure you were okay, and once they were back home it was snuggle time! This was your favorite time of day because this was when you were able to fall asleep the most comfortably.

After drinking some of your mommy Wanda's milk from your favorite pink baby bottle, you were out like a light holding onto Nat's hand. When Nat needs to go get your diaper changed, she brings your toy lion to you, helping you snuggle with it while she pulls your footie pajamas over your diaper-clad bottom. Still slightly asleep from the sedative they put in the bottle with your milk, little whines pour from your mouth. Wanda is quick to soothe you as she carries you with her to her bedroom, laying you down on her bed as she starts to get ready for bed as well.

All this time, they just needed someone to take care of, love, and adore. They were so damn lucky to have found you, and they wouldn't know what to do without you. But they don't have to find out any time soon. And you won't ever find out what it's like to live without them either.

The dam holding Bucky's emotions up broke. He sunk back into a chair, tears streaming down his face as Natasha sobbed into his chest. You were his baby girl. Ever since you were little he wanted nothing but to protect you from the cruel world, and now you were fighting for your life to stay in it.

"She's gonna be okay Buck." Steve nodded, attempting to make the situation a little lighter. But everyone knew it wasn't working out too well.

Natasha lifted her head from her husband's chest, "Wanda is doing okay also. She had to get around eighteen stitches total but they said she can be discharged tomorrow." Bucky nodded, not quite listening as he stared at the swinging doors, just waiting for the doctor to walk out and tell them you would be okay. He would give anything to make sure you were okay and alive.

Hours passed, four to be exact and the three were still sitting there, waiting. Olek and Iryna had come by a little after Bucky and Steve showed up. Natasha was scared they would be mad but thankfully they were just grateful no one had died. After checking up on Wanda, the three still sat in the waiting room, in silence waiting for news to come.

"Excuse me." An officer slowly walked up to the three, holding out his hand to shake. Steve took the opportunity, cutting the very obvious tension. "Are you Y/n Barne's parents?"

Natasha and Bucky stood, bobbing their heads up and down in agreement, "Yes we are." The young officer gave them a sad smile, "I'm officer Torres. We would just like you to know the man that hit your daughter and her friend head-on is now being held in interrogation and we are adamant about pressing charges." Natasha gulped, wiping the tears from her eyes with her sleeve. "And why did he..what was the uhm.." "Why the hell did he crash into them?" Bucky finished, making Natasha nod.

Officer Torres pulled his phone out, showing the three the man's mugshot. "John Walker. He was crawling from the car that hit yours. His breathalyzer test was 0.10." Bucky looked up from the phone, "Why are you telling us this? Doesn't he have certain rights that don't allow information to be shared?" Torres nodded, "Yes, and of course take your time. But if you want to press charges, do it fast, because he's slippery."

"What do you mea-" "Y/n Barne's family?"

The two ran over to the doctor followed by Steve who collectively disregarded Toress.

"Were her parents." Buck held Nat close to him, both of them fighting off tears as they waited for the doctor to speak.

"I'm Doctor Grey, I operated on your daughter." The woman stuffed her cap into her pocket, leading the two to sit down a couple seats away. At this point, they were fearing the worst.

"We were able to stop the bleeding after extracting the almost twelve-inch shard of glass from her abdomen." They listened, however hearing a 'but' coming their way.

"But.." Doctor Gray countered. There it is.

"But what?" Natasha's voice cracked, thinking of the inevitable.

"But she went into shock. We were able to get her heartbeat on a steady rhythm until something went wrong. Sometimes the body just doesn't have enough strength for traumatic events."

Bucky gulped, not wanting to hear if he would be planning his daughter's funeral. "Is she..." He trailed off, however, relieved when Dr. Grey shook her head.

"She's made it through, but is in a coma."

The first part of her sentence made the couple's hearts soar, until the doctor spoke at the end, making them cling to each other in desperation. "She's what?" Natasha mumbled, fisting her husband's henley in her hands.

"We have a good enough look at her brain to know she will wake up, it's just a matter of when." "And how long could it be?" Bucky questioned, placing a kiss on Natasha's forehead.

"That we don't know. She has to do this herself. Her body has to fight." The Doctor laid a hand on Natasha's shoulder, standing with the couple in tow. "Would you like to see her?" The two nodded hastily, about to walk through with Steve behind.

"Oh I'm sorry," Dr. Grey shook her head, "Only two visitors in the ICU at a time." Steve lifted his hand in acceptance, "It's okay. I'll check on Wanda and her parents." "Are you sure, Steve?" Bucky asked, wanting his friend to be by his side. Steve had seen you born. He had even been there for you when Bucky couldn't because of missions. He was basically a third parent, and Natasha definitely liked to tease Bucky about it.

But being the humble person Steve was, he nodded, "Go see her. I'll be here when you get back." Bucky gave Steve one last hug, "I'll keep you updated."

They exchanged one last look before Dr. Grey walked them through the doors and into the ICU wing.

Natasha and Bucky's faces dropped as soon as they saw their little girl laying in that hospital bed. Wires stuck to your chest, an IV in your hand, and an oxygen tube down your throat.

Bucky led the two over to your beside as Nat sat down beside you. "Oh, baby," Your mom spoke, stroking your hair as tears flowed freely down her cheeks. Bucky pulled up a chair, taking your hand in his. You were so cold, looking so fragile. Not even as a baby did you seem so frail. Like if he pulled or yanked a little too hard you would fall apart.

"You said she uh.." Bucky looked up to Doctor Grey as she was going through some paperwork, "She will wake up, right?" Bucky hated sounding so weak, so..fragile. But the one good thing in his life besides Natasha was you. You were the light of his life. The person who gave his life meaning from the horrors of his past. Yet now that light was dimming, and he didn't know how to fix it.

She nodded, "Yes. We will continue to check up on her brain functions but looking at where they are now.." The doctor looked at the hopeful couple, not wanting to destroy their longing in her words. "It's up to her." She placed the paperwork under her arm, walking from the room after letting the two know to ask if they needed anything.

"She's gonna wake up." Nat nodded, looking back at Bucky, "She has to wake up." The redhead fell into her husband, clinging to his shirt as she sobbed.

Natasha's composure wasn't easily broken. She was a Russian spy with perfect combat and mental skills. Crying didn't come easily to her. Especially when the tears were for you. What was once a dream of having children turned into a reality when she saw those two little lines after coming home from a mission.

Bucky and her took off time from Avenging to raise you. They wanted all of their time to go into their little bundle of joy, which meant not saving lives for a while. Yet when you were around seven they started going again. This is when Steve got more in the picture and Yelena even helped you train. Nat was against it at first but in the end, it was a good decision. She knew she would dread the day you'd have to use it but they had too many enemies to leave you defenseless.

They never thought you'd have to fight against a car, however.

"Come on," Bucky moved Nat to the spare cot in the corner of the room, maneuvering her body onto his. The two looked over at you, eyelids falling heavy until sleep consumed them.

"You need to wake up, babydoll." Bucky pleaded for the millionth time. he held your hand, the pulse in your wrist keeping his a little saner. "I need you." He nodded, "Mom needs you. Wanda and Steve do too." Looking over to the candy basket Yelena had sent, "Aunt Lena is worried sick no matter how much she hides it with humor."

Bucky let out a sob, his head collapsing onto your stomach, "I need you back in my arms, arguing with me about curfew and watching to watch the Twilight movies over and over again." He lifted his head, looking at your stoic face, "Please wake up.."

"Come on, Buck. You need to go home and get some sleep." Steve attempted and quickly failed once again. Bucky shook his head, "No. I won't leave her here alone."

It had been two months since the accident. For two full months, you had been asleep. And two months Bucky and Natasha had been in agony.

"I'll stay here with her." Steve placed a hand on his best friend's shoulder. "She won't be alone."

The brunette looked up, "I don't want her waking up alone. I want to be here." Steve sat down in front of him, pleading. "You need sleep, you need to eat, and you need to take care of yourself. Bucky tried to object only for Steve to hold up his hand. "Natasha is at home asleep. She can come back here while you rest."

It took a minute but Bucky let out a breath, standing and walking over to your sleeping figure. "I'll be back doll." He leaned down, kissing the crown of your head and holding himself there. A tear fell onto your hair but he only wiped it away as Steve led him from the room. "Go. Take a shower, get a sandwich." The brunette waved his friend off, stumbling from the hospital and to his bike.

Steve walked back in, sitting by your bed and holding your hand. "You need to wake up, kiddo. For all of us."

"She's waking up!! Get me the Doctor Grey!!" A nurse shouted, scurrying around the room. Your eyes were wide, watching everyone around you in a panic. The heart monitor was beeping off the walls and you couldn't seem to talk. All you wanted at this moment were your parents. Your mom and dad but you couldn't see them.

"What's happening?!"

Steve! You saw your Uncle Steve walk in with a cup of coffee in his hand, asking questions with a worried expression covering his features.

"Alright, Yn, I'm Doctor Grey." You felt the woman lifting your upper torso with the bed, standing above you. "I'm gonna take this tube out, alright?" You did your best to nod, watching as she stripped the tape from under your nose. "Take a deep breath in." You did as she said. "One more." You did again.

"Alright, one more deep breath." And right when you inhaled, she snatched the tube, quickly and steadily removing it from your throat. "Cough it out." She rubbed your back as you choked and hacked loudly.

"Where are my-" You tried to clear your voice but the raspy feeling made it harder to talk. "Here's some water." A nurse lifted a plastic cup to your lips, letting you gulp the cool water down to soothe your throat.

"Steve.." You rasped out, instantly being tackled in a bear hug by your uncle. "Oh, you're okay!" He let out a deep breath, holding the back of your head to his chest. You let out a laugh, "What the hell happened?"

He pulled away, grabbing his phone from the table. "I'll let your parents explain, okay?" You nodded, laying your head back as exhaustion overtook your body.

"Oh, baby!" Natasha ran through the door, at your side in an instant. "Hey mom." You reciprocated her hug, breathing in the warm vanilla scent she always smelled like.

When she pulled away, sobbing, your dad sat down beside her, "Hey, doll." You smiled, pulling you in for a hug, "Hi dad."

His large arms covered you as he pulled you in his embrace. "You're awake doll." You nodded, mumbling into his chest, "I heard you. Talking to me." Bucky looked down at you, tears filling his eyes.

"I'm glad your okay, doll." He held you close to him, "I'm glad you're okay."

"Hey, dad." Bucky hummed as you raised your head to look at him.

"I'm sorry I crashed your car." Bucky let out a laugh, "It's okay doll." "Really?" "Mhm." He nodded, smiling "But I am never letting you drive an expensive car again."

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You had no idea what was happening. At all. You weren’t even from Wakanda. You were just supposed to be checking on Bucky, since he was in cryo-freeze to be deprogrammed from the Winter Soldier. And don’t get me wrong, Bucky was attractive and women had always been all over him. But you were always the reason they left quickly, since you were Bucky’s priority, his big sister. You could hold your own in a fight, a point that you would make to both Steve and Bucky many times over the years, all of them. When you found out your baby brother had been drafted, you immediately enlisted as a nurse. You quickly became the personal nurse for the Howling Commandos, getting into trouble with all of them as you had growing up with your brother and his best friend. Whom you had gone down on the plane with after your brother had fallen off the train.

And now, 70 some-odd years later, you are flying into a hidden country that is globally known as very poor, but is actually thriving and has the most advanced technology you’ve ever seen. And oh God, the king? Oh, the king. King T’Challa was literally the nicest person ever, after he discovered Bucky didn’t actually kill his father. Yeah, you definitely went with Steve during the Civil War, much to Tony’s dismay. But T’Challa, he was just so… you couldn’t even find the words for it, but Steve was always the poet anyway.

T’Challa had never treated you badly, but he was not as warm to you as he was to Steve, or even Bucky, and yet you had completely fallen for him. To the point where you actually dreaded coming to Wakanda to check on Bucky because you always made a fool of yourself. Every. Single. Time.

“Ms. Barnes, Captain Rogers, you are back.” T’Challa said suddenly, surprising you. “I assume you’re here for Sergeant Barnes?”

“Your Highness. I am, yes. I’m just wondering how Bucky’s doing.” You said, reiterating what he said. You closed your eyes and shook your head softly.

Steve placed his hand on your back. “It’s okay, N/N. Could we see him?”

“Of course you can. Shuri has almost finished deprogramming Sergeant Barnes, and we should be pulling him out of the ice tomorrow, if all goes well. You’re welcome to stay and be here.” T’Challa started leading you to the room Bucky was being kept in cryo in. Although you all knew he didn’t need to due to the amount of times you and Steve had visited Bucky, both separately and together.

“Stevie? Sissy?” Bucky said, sitting up in a hospital bed. T’Challa raised an eyebrow in Shuri’s direction at this new development, she only shrugged. “You guys are okay?”

“Buck.” Steve breathed out, fighting the urge to go and wrap him in the world’s biggest bear hug. You were not having the same issue, running over to Bucky and doing exactly what Steve wanted to.

“Kiddo. Buddy. Buck, you can’t ever do anything like that again, okay? We were all supposed to go home together, buddy, and all of a sudden you weren’t coming home, and then Steve and I weren’t going home either. But now we can go home. Please, Bucky, say you’ll never go again?” You were crying at this point, having missed your baby brother so much yet not having found the words to say it before, since Steve had the exact same feeling.

Bucky pulled you into his chest, kissing the top of your head. “I’m not going anywhere, dumbass. Gotta protect you and Stevie. Lord knows Steve can’t protect my big sister right. Speaking of, get your ass over here, punk. What are you waiting for?”

Steve came over to the two of you and also wrapped Bucky in a hug, kissing the top of his head. “I missed you, Buck.”

“I know you did. I missed you both too.”

“Given a few months of recovery, most of your memories should return, Sergeant.” Shuri interrupted the moment the three of you were having, but none of you minded. “The brain is a funny thing, so I cannot be sure when or if it will happen, I just have to hope that it will.”

T’Challa was standing there silently, shell-shocked. Bucky was your brother?! Your baby brother?! “I’m sorry, wait, you two are related?” He asked.

You looked at Bucky, and then you both burst out laughing. “Yes!” He said.

“I was there when you were born, I think I was either second or third to hold you, but I don’t quite remember that far back. I was young, two or three, and Daddy was off at war still.” You said, stroking Bucky’s cheek with your thumb. He nuzzled into your hand as he always did. “I remember sitting with Momma, in her hospital bed, and with her arms wrapped around my arms wrapped around you. I’m sure I wasn’t actually holding you, but that’s my first clear memory. There are little snippets from before and after, and the memory has faded over time, but I remember the first time I got to hold you. And now you’re bigger than I am.” You smiled, tears slipped down your cheeks at that memory resurfacing. It had been so long since you had had time to remember your childhood without your sisters.

“Oh, N/N.” Steve said, rubbing your back. 

Bucky pulled you back into his chest. “You’d never told me that before. I didn’t know you were there.”

You heard Shuri laugh at something T’Challa had said in their whispered argument. “Would either of you care to tell us what’s so funny about our touching reunion?” You said, muffled by Bucky’s red Henley.

Shuri, still giggling, explained. “Your last name is Barnes, so my darling brother thought you were married to the Sergeant.”

“That’s a new one.” Steve said, chuckling softly.

“I know we look nothing alike, but that is new.” You added.

Bucky was full-on giggling, which was nice to see after the events of the Civil War. “We’ve never been mistaken for being married before.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After T’Challa found out you weren’t married to Bucky, and you only shared a last name because you were his sister, he was much nicer to you. In fact, you could almost say he treated you like he was going to make you his queen. You and Steve had decided to stay in Wakanda for a few weeks to help Bucky with his memory, the new metal arm Shuri made for him, and it gave you both a break from being on the run.

Unfortunately, the entire time you had been in Wakanda, all anyone could talk about was the big birthday party they were throwing for the King. It was no surprise to him, of course, you were sure he was part of the planning committee. But it just bugged you, spending weeks talking about a fancy party that half of them weren’t even going to go to due to family issues, political reasons, or fighting with the other tribes. Bucky was going, of course, to repay T’Challa and Shuri for their kindness. So Steve was going to keep him out of trouble, and you were going to keep Steve out of trouble.

‘I had him on the ropes.’ Sure you did, Stevie. Sure you did. Steve Rogers, never one to start a fight he could actually finish. Although Steve was always picked on, he made sure he treated everyone well. He never let anyone mistreat a woman, and there were multiple times he stood up for you, even though you were closer to the guys’ height than he was.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You glanced at T’Challa from across the room, sipping at your drink of choice. Happy birthday to him, you thought, bitterly. He gets fancy drinks, and women in nice dresses flaunting themselves, no, throwing themselves at him. They probably don’t even want to be with him, they just want the money and title. He deserves so much better. You sighed softly, making both Bucky and Steve look at you.

“Something wrong, doll?” Steve asked.

“No, no. I’m fine. I’m just a little tired.” You replied, faking a yawn to accentuate your point.

“You sure about that?” Bucky asked, wiggling his eyebrows and sticking out his tongue a little. “If looks could kill, N/N, the women swarming T’Challa would be dead.”

You rolled your eyes. “No idea what you’re talking about, brother dearest.”

He smirked. “That’s what you told me when you were in 11th grade and ‘didn’t like Tommy’. Busted.” He told you, properly using air quotes. He was catching on much quicker than you and Steve had.

“Just don’t say anything. I’m sure it’ll go away in a couple of months. It’s nothing.”

“It’s not nothing if you’re asking them not to say anything about it.” Shuri said, sitting down next to you. “Now spill the tea.” The three of you blinked in confusion. “Tell me the drama, what’s going on?” She clarified. Wow, the new generation really does have a term for everything. You looked between your brother and best friend, silently begging them not to say anything, much like when the three of you were in trouble as teenagers.

Steve, ever the snitch, broke first. “N/N likes T’Challa!” You were just happy the music didn’t stop, although suddenly if a pin dropped, anyone would hear it. The air felt thick and you felt like you were suffocating. You stood up, left the party, and walked back towards Bucky’s quarters, deciding the fresh air on the balcony near there would do you some good.

Once you got to the balcony, you sat down, put your feet up, took your heels off, and looked up at the stars. You had sat there for what felt like forever, entranced by the stars when you heard the door open behind you. “Stevie, have you ever kept a secret for longer than a minute?” You asked, assuming he was the one that followed you, probably to apologize, knowing Steve.

“Sorry to disappoint, Miss Barnes, but I am not Captain Rogers.” T’Challa said from behind you.

“Oh, Your Majesty.” You said, standing. “I’m so sor-”

T’Challa put his hand up to stop you. “Please don’t apologize, Miss Barnes. Your feelings are requited. That is why I was not as warm to you as I was to the Captain and the Sergeant. The most gorgeous lady I have ever had the pleasure of laying eyes on. Married to Sergeant Barnes? Impossible. I was overjoyed when I discovered the two of you were merely siblings.”

“Bucky’s a good-looking dude, Your Highness. It’s not that hard to believe, other than the fact that he’s been in love with Steve since he was.. 13. Those two are idiots in love, especially since Steve’s been in love with Bucky from the first time they met.”

“How did you manage to miss the entire point I was trying to make?” He asked, chuckling and shaking his head. You sat back down, looking up at the stars.

“It just doesn’t seem real. A king falling for an army nurse out of her time?” You said, tracing the constellations Bucky had told you about as a teenager with your index finger.

T’Challa recognized it, “Ursa Major?”

You nodded. “I had the unfortunate pleasure of babysitting Bucky while doing my homework. He was obsessed with the stars, I had to take him to the library every week to get a new book about them. He learned about all the constellations, I would help him find the ones we could. I don’t know if more have been found, or if he even remembers, but I do. The stars helped me find him.”

“That’s lovely.” He said, sitting next to you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hours later, T’Challa had finally asked if he could kiss you. You allowed it.

“May I take you to bed, my queen?”

“Of course, my king.”

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I pressed play on the computer at my side. I kept my eyes focused on the projector screen, no matter how much it made my eyes burn. It was past one in the morning. Steve had gone into the ice forty-eight years ago on the 5th. It only made me more determined to find Howard’s killer. I sighed as the video played. My stomach churned as I watched a HYDRA agent swerve his motorcycle, causing Howard to crash into a telephone pole.

“Why did they go in the dead of night?” I whispered, drained.

Alex shook his head from the desk chair. “I wish we knew. None of it ever makes sense.”

“Wait, wait, wait. There!” I pointed, and Alex scrambled to pause the video. “Go back, just a second or two.”

He did as told, and I scoffed. “Fucker looks right at the camera.”

“It’s no use, Lo. Half his face is covered.”

I shook my head. “It’s better than nothing. Is there any way you could pull a decent-quality image from it?” I crossed my arms over my chest.

He turned back to the computer and nodded, sighing deeply. “Yeah. It might take a while, but I’m pretty sure I can do it.”

“Cool.” I sighed, turning my attention to the papers amassed on the table. “I’ll pull the list of known HYDRA agents that were in the same area around the same time.”

Alex nodded, turning his full attention to the computer. I stifled a yawn as I sat down at the table, pulling a pile of filing folders towards me.

************************************************************************

“Logan, wake up.” Alex’s hands were on my shoulders, gently squeezing.

“What’s up?” I sat up, wiping my eyes.

“You crashed looking through all of our intel, but I got the picture.” He pushed himself up to sit on the table. “It’s clear. We can find him.”

I held my hands out for the picture. I rubbed the last of the sleep from my eyes and held the picture in the light, ready to bust the sick son of a bitch once and for all.

“Lo?” Alex asked, trying to gauge my reaction.

I ripped the paper in my hands to shreds, and Alex scrambled to pick them all up. I went straight for the computer, and Alex caught my wrist, yanking me back.

“What the hell is wrong with you?”

“I can’t.” I spoke through gritted teeth, pulling my arm back to no avail.

“Logan, we’ve been working on this for a year and half. What the fuck is going on?”

I shook my head. “Alex. I know this person-”

“What the hell-”

“And I can assure you that they are not-”

“Logan, what the fuck!”

“They are not in control of themselves! He’s not. Okay? Because he wouldn’t do this.” I jerked my arm back and went for the computer again.

Alex followed, scowling. “You were dead to the world for thirty years. People change.”

“Not him.” I shook my head and turned to him. “Not him, not like that. I promise. You need to trust me, Alex.”

“Why the fuck would I do that?”

I hit the button to delete all of the work we had done over the last year.”

“You know me, Alex. You know about my parents, about Steve, about the serum and the other weird powers. You know about my brother. About how he fell off a fucking train and nobody blinked twice. And I know you. I know about your shitty father and about your dead mom, and I know about Carol.”

“Shut up.” Alex hissed.

“I need you to trust me, Alex.”

“For fucks sake, Logan-”

I didn’t give him the chance to finish. I tore the computer in two, ripping out the hard drive.

“You wouldn’t fucking dare.”

I held it in my hands and snapped it over my knee.

“You’re fucking crazy.”

“God, Alex, if only you fucking knew.” I spat, feeling an anger I had last felt when Steve lost Bucky.

“So what now? You gonna go fucking rogue?”

I laughed. “I’m gonna blame you for all of this,” I pointed at the mess of technology, “and then I’m gonna get to go back under.”

He started for the door. “I don’t fucking think so.”

I was faster, stronger, stealthier. I was unstoppable. A super-soldier pissed beyond belief. And I would do whatever it took to protect my family. I flicked my knife from its holster.

“I’m sorry, Alex. I really did love you. I’ll make sure it’s painless.”

************************************************************************

I sat in the middle of the room, covered in bruises and sweat. My nose was bleeding, and I had earned a gouge above my eyebrow from Alex’s wristwatch. He had fought back hard, but I couldn’t be helped. I needed to protect the person who killed Howard, no matter how much it compromised my integrity, or that of my soul.

“He revealed himself as a HYDRA agent and tried to strangle her.” Keller whispered to his boss, who had come to see the scene himself.

“She fought back?”

“She’s a super-soldier, sir. The one Carter left on ice.”

Keller’s boss nodded, and as he looked at me, I looked away. A white sheet soaked the blood that had spilled. They spoke again, this time in whispers. Keller approached me, squatting so that we would be eye-to-eye.

“Please, sir.”

“What is it?”

“Please put me back on ice.” I whispered, feeling tears well in my eyes.

I wanted to rest.

“No.”

“What?”

“If you don’t wanna keep working with us, there’s the door.” He pointed over his shoulder.

I forced myself to my feet and scowled. “Go fuck yourself, Keller.”

“Excuse me?”

“Oh don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone about all the fucked shit you’ve pulled.” I called over my shoulder as I began to make my way out of the room.

“Where do you think you’re going?” Keller’s boss grabbed my shoulder.

I shook him loose. “Don’t fucking touch me.”

“Barnes!” Keller shouted.

I kept my head down and made a break for it as SHIELD agents began to come after me. I busted out of the office building, and disappeared into the street.

Previous: January 25, 1992