#badscience

On Day 23 of #junefae, the Dino-Fairy has been waiting for his moment in the sun to come round again.

I Debunked Every "Body Language Expert" on Youtube

münecat Offset your carbon footprint on Wren: https://www.wren.co/start/munecat/ The first 100 people who sign up will have 10 extra trees planted in their name! Go follow Richard Parry who did the excellent animations: https://www.instagram.com/_richardpar… Check out this interview with me: • Climate Denial, Socialism & YouTube -…   The Roastie Girls Podcast:…

Bad Hypothesis: If I send my ex this public domain photo of a donkey [Appendix A] with the text “donkey wonkey”, he will take my light-hearted message as a personal slight, fall into a deep ponderation of our time together, and ultimately regret our separation.

Chaotic Method:

1. Get into a 4-year committed relationship.

2. Love each other deeply but decide to amicably split.

3. Grieve.

4. Notice you’re somewhat weirder than them and were the whole time.

4. Feel a hint of wanting their attention while simultaneously enjoying being single and thinking “we’re all friends here”.

5. Locate a public domain picture of a donkey. But don’t look up ass. Have some class.

6. Send it to the ex through text message.

7. Follow up later if there is no response.

Bad Materials:

- 4 years of your time

- See Appendix A

Chaotic Results: No response. Later, somewhat forgetting my goal here, I sent them a funny video. They replied to that. We proceeded to have a full conversation. ‘Perfect,’ I think, ‘they will mention the donkey soon’. No such time came. During the text conversation I asked whether they had any feelings about my donkey meme. I clarified that it’s for science and refreshed them on the facts: It was a picture of a donkey and I said: Donkey wonkey. They replied "Oh I remember it all right. Wish I could forget…". After telling them about my project and thanking them for participating in our research (because I’m ethical), they simply hit me with "Lmao bro..".

Bad Limitations: I should’ve just left donkey wonkey be, leave donkey wonkey free.

Chaotic Future Research: Perhaps a pelican welican would be better. Or maybe chose better ex?

Bad Conclusion: We are still broken up. It’s okay though. Donkey wonkey fulfills me. And a lover who can’t appreciate that is no good to me.

Chaotic Recommendations: Try this at home* if your ex has a sense of humour. Otherwise, don’t be that guy pal you’re not that guy pal we’re all donkey wonkeys.

*Home being the broken home of the life you created together. Now you must return to your own lives. Having gained a lot and only losing what could’ve been.

Appendix A

Bad Hypothesis: Will God smite me for my morbid curiosity or the Monster energy drink and mash potatoes cuisine?

Chaotic Method & Bad Materials:

Chaotic Results: My journal reads, "I think I’ve actually invented a new flavour. Like there’s no way anything could possibly taste like this. Not exactly a mix. It feels new. Like I’m having trouble comparing it to anything. Because who in their right mind would make anything that tastes like this? Okay wait I might have a comparison. Not super accurate but best I can do. Imagine if those pink rubber erasers were dipped in what someone who has never tasted sugar thinks cotton candy tastes like. Now imagine that flavour with the texture of silly bandz bracelets if they were melted down into a sludge-like concoction" (genius, 2023). Additionally, professors (sample size = 1) will respond to this information within minutes to express their concern.

Bad Limitations: I have made a severe and continuous lapse in my judgement, and I don’t expect to be forgiven.

Chaotic Future Research: The potatoes are…very slappable. Slap potatoes.

Bad Conclusion: The abomination that I have brought into being can only bedescribed as a miracle, for it is a miracle that God would ever allow me to create such an atrocity and offence to nature. This deserves to be burned at the stake.