DONKEY WONKEY 5/23
Bad Hypothesis: If I send my ex this public domain photo of a donkey [Appendix A] with the text âdonkey wonkeyâ, he will take my light-hearted message as a personal slight, fall into a deep ponderation of our time together, and ultimately regret our separation.
Chaotic Method:
1. Get into a 4-year committed relationship.
2. Love each other deeply but decide to amicably split.
3. Grieve.
4. Notice youâre somewhat weirder than them and were the whole time.
4. Feel a hint of wanting their attention while simultaneously enjoying being single and thinking âweâre all friends hereâ.
5. Locate a public domain picture of a donkey. But donât look up ass. Have some class.
6. Send it to the ex through text message.
7. Follow up later if there is no response.
Bad Materials:
- 4 years of your time
- See Appendix A
Chaotic Results: No response. Later, somewhat forgetting my goal here, I sent them a funny video. They replied to that. We proceeded to have a full conversation. âPerfect,â I think, âthey will mention the donkey soonâ. No such time came. During the text conversation I asked whether they had any feelings about my donkey meme. I clarified that itâs for science and refreshed them on the facts: It was a picture of a donkey and I said: Donkey wonkey. They replied "Oh I remember it all right. Wish I could forgetâŚ". After telling them about my project and thanking them for participating in our research (because Iâm ethical), they simply hit me with "Lmao bro..".
Bad Limitations: I shouldâve just left donkey wonkey be, leave donkey wonkey free.
Chaotic Future Research: Perhaps a pelican welican would be better. Or maybe chose better ex?
Bad Conclusion: We are still broken up. Itâs okay though. Donkey wonkey fulfills me. And a lover who canât appreciate that is no good to me.
Chaotic Recommendations: Try this at home* if your ex has a sense of humour. Otherwise, donât be that guy pal youâre not that guy pal weâre all donkey wonkeys.
*Home being the broken home of the life you created together. Now you must return to your own lives. Having gained a lot and only losing what couldâve been.
Appendix A














