What do you fear, My Friend?
What terrorizes you in the night?
What images cause you to lie awake
In a cold sweat, heart pounding in your chest?
Is it the monster in your closet?
Is it the creature that slumbers beneath your bed?
Is it the scratching from outside your window
With shadows that cast of a haunted shape?
Is it the fear of being abandoned?
Of waking up to find that you are utterly alone
In an isolated world of empty whispers and broken words.
Alone within yourself, to find a sullen hollowness
Lurking behind your bloodshot eyes.
Will you ever feel again? Or will you continue
Down this path of justifiable apathy?
Do you fear pain? Internal turmoil?
Do you fear such vulnerability as if
Exposing your true self will leave you lying
Broken and bloody in a back alley corner
Attempting to scream for help
But the only thing that leaves your lips
Is a silent whisper of a broken man?
Do you fear to let down your walls?
The walls you took so long to cultivate,
The walls you let one once breach
Only to end in destruction and despair?
These towering walls you’ve taken such care
To reinforce, with cold words as steel bracers
A hardened heart like the cinder blocks that fill it
And a cage around your mind like rebar for strength.
You act as if this fear protects you.
Maybe it does, from potential pain and heartache,
How can anyone own your heart if you
Have it locked up like a prisoner on Alcatraz Island?
Perhaps that makes you safe, safe, but not free.
How will you experience the warmth that comes from
The sweet embrace of your sweetheart after
How will you know the validation and relief
That comes from unconditional love and support.
Ah, but I know what you’re thinking…
“Is waiting for this worth the scars I receive until then?”
My answer, short and simple, Yes.
Remember that when I say you are like a child,
I do not mean immature, combative, and headstrong.
Continue to guard your heart, and subject yourself
To unequivocal loneliness, you will stunt your own growth
Remember that when “The One” comes before you,
She will have lived a thousand heartbreaks
Her story of betrayal will rival Shakespeare.
She could tell you stories
That would make the mightiest man weep.
But she will come with wisdom
She will arrive with true strength.
She will be a woman, who approaches the boy.
A boy who has spared himself of her pain.
A boy who has prevented his heart from shattering
Who has saved himself from agony.
A boy who could tell stories of heartbreak and sorrow,
None of which are his to tell.
He will bring with him naivete and charm.
He will bring with him foolish mistakes
He will have the knowledge of those whose hearts
Came before him, judging others mistakes
But he will still be a boy, and she a woman.
This boy, this child, will never grow up
To be the man she so desires.
To be a man is to come with the experience
Of one who’s fought for love.
A man is scared of pain, but hopes for bliss
A man has battle scars and war stories
This man has been broken and beaten
Within an inch of his own life
The man knows that every heartbreak,
Every failed attempt at true love,
Is a lesson to be learned, an experience needed.
For when he finds the Woman,
He will know she is The One.
And as the Woman looks up at the man,
She will know that he brings
Mutual pain, understanding of suffering,
Because he knows what it is like
To feel empty and hollow,
To choke back tears on any occasion
To scream up at the sky with rage and fury
To curl as the weight of your emotion
Slams your body like a freight train.
He knows her suffering, for he has suffered too.
That bodes for mutual respect, compassion, love.
So allow yourself to be afraid
But understand that with pain comes experience
With sorrow comes understanding
With suffering comes clarity.
Allow yourself to be open, vulnerable.
Allow yourself the potential for disaster.
In doing so you will learn things
About others and yourself,
You never dreamed possible.
And when you find Her, you’ll know.
When you meet Her, you’ll cherish this.
You can feel fear, but you mustn't let it rule you.
If you think heartbreak brings true pain
I’ll tell you that isolation is the silent killer.
You may keep the walls you went to
Such great lengths to cultivate.
I might suggest in renovating the dismal space,
And possibly installing a door.
Who knows when potential might come knocking.
