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@thoughty-python

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Strah
What do you fear, My Friend?
What terrorizes you in the night?
What images cause you to lie awake
In a cold sweat, heart pounding in your chest?
Is it the monster in your closet?
Is it the creature that slumbers beneath your bed?
Is it the scratching from outside your window
With shadows that cast of a haunted shape?
Is it the fear of being abandoned?
Of waking up to find that you are utterly alone
In an isolated world of empty whispers and broken words.
Alone within yourself, to find a sullen hollowness
Lurking behind your bloodshot eyes.
Will you ever feel again? Or will you continue
Down this path of justifiable apathy?
Do you fear pain? Internal turmoil?
Do you fear such vulnerability as if
Exposing your true self will leave you lyingÂ
Broken and bloody in a back alley corner
Attempting to scream for help
But the only thing that leaves your lips
Is a silent whisper of a broken man?
Do you fear to let down your walls?
The walls you took so long to cultivate,
The walls you let one once breach
Only to end in destruction and despair?
These towering walls youâve taken such care
To reinforce, with cold words as steel bracers
A hardened heart like the cinder blocks that fill it
And a cage around your mind like rebar for strength.
You act as if this fear protects you.
Maybe it does, from potential pain and heartache,
How can anyone own your heart if youÂ
Have it locked up like a prisoner on Alcatraz Island?
Perhaps that makes you safe, safe, but not free.
How will you experience the warmth that comes from
The sweet embrace of your sweetheart after
A long day of work?
How will you know the validation and relief
That comes from unconditional love and support.
Ah, but I know what youâre thinkingâŚ
âIs waiting for this worth the scars I receive until then?â
My answer, short and simple, Yes.
Remember that when I say you are like a child,
I do not mean immature, combative, and headstrong.
Continue to guard your heart, and subject yourself
To unequivocal loneliness, you will stunt your own growth
Remember that when âThe Oneâ comes before you,
She will have lived a thousand heartbreaks
Her story of betrayal will rival Shakespeare.
She could tell you storiesÂ
That would make the mightiest man weep.
But she will come with wisdom
She will arrive with true strength.
She will be a woman, who approaches the boy.
A boy who has spared himself of her pain.
A boy who has prevented his heart from shattering
Who has saved himself from agony.
A boy who could tell stories of heartbreak and sorrow,
None of which are his to tell.
He will bring with him naivete and charm.
He will bring with him foolish mistakes
And true potential.
He will have the knowledge of those whose hearts
Came before him, judging others mistakes
With his childlike eye.Â
But he will still be a boy, and she a woman.
This boy, this child, will never grow up
To be the man she so desires.
To be a man is to come with the experienceÂ
Of one whoâs fought for love.
A man is scared of pain, but hopes for bliss
A man has battle scars and war stories
The boy couldnât fathom.
This man has been broken and beatenÂ
Within an inch of his own life
Still he presses on.
The man knows that every heartbreak,
Every failed attempt at true love,
Is a lesson to be learned, an experience needed.
For when he finds the Woman,
He will know she is The One.
And as the Woman looks up at the man,
She will know that he brings
Mutual pain, understanding of suffering,
Because he knows what it is like
To feel empty and hollow,
To choke back tears on any occasion
To scream up at the sky with rage and fury
To curl as the weight of your emotion
Slams your body like a freight train.
He knows her suffering, for he has suffered too.
That bodes for mutual respect, compassion, love.
So allow yourself to be afraid
Be always afraidâŚ
But understand that with pain comes experience
With sorrow comes understanding
With suffering comes clarity.
Allow yourself to be open, vulnerable.
Allow yourself the potential for disaster.
In doing so you will learn things
About others and yourself,
You never dreamed possible.
And when you find Her, youâll know.
When you meet Her, youâll cherish this.
You can feel fear, but you mustn't let it rule you.
If you think heartbreak brings true pain
Iâll tell you that isolation is the silent killer.
You may keep the walls you went toÂ
Such great lengths to cultivate.
I might suggest in renovating the dismal space,
And possibly installing a door.
Who knows when potential might come knocking.
Akuma
You are a Demon
Vying for my soul
You are a Devil
Swallowing me whole
Tell me why
You smell so sweet
Like honeydewÂ
In the midday heat
Tell me why
Your darkened eyes
Haunt me in pitless nights
Tell me, Demon
What do you desire?
Perhaps, like me
The world to end in fire?
Do you wish to see me burn?
With screaming flames for whom I yearn?
My dearest Demon,
Wonât you save meÂ
From this burning pyre?
Do you wish to see me burned
By the flames of your desire.
But as my flesh turns to ash
And my bones fall to dust,
Iâll remember you, Demon
How your heart is full of lust.
Nothing satisfies your endless hunger
How you rip and tear in sunder.
For chaos is your true desire
I know the world will end in fire
To A Friend
To be mortal is to be complexâŚ
We are constantly changing, learning, evolvingâŚ
To be mortal is to be perfectly imperfect.
Never have I met someone
More mortal than you.
You understand everything, and nothing.
You have so much to offer, yet little to give.
You are so wise and so broken.
Though youâve been through a great deal
I will never show you pity.
To pity you is to assume you are weak.
To pity you is to discredit your journey.
I am blessed to hear your story.
A story of absolute triumph.
You may sometimes feel insignificant and small.
You may feel your plights paleÂ
In comparison to others.
But I recognize you, your struggle, your strength.
I do not wish to âfixâ you.
I will never attempt to protect you.
To do so would prevent your growth.
I wish to support you in all things.
I wish to be a closer friend to you.
Because in the short time
Iâve learned so much about you,
Youâve gained my highest respect and admiration.
I adore your strength.
I adore your vulnerability.
You astound me with your knowledgeÂ
Your willingness to learn.
If only you could see yourself
 The way I see you.
Youâre charming, considerate, and kind.
Youâre a gentleman, and an animal.
Youâre honest, open, vulnerable.
Youâre everything that a man should be.
I know it sounds silly,
But I already consider you
One of my best friends.
You donât need to feel the same.
I wouldnât love you any less for it.
Just know this,
When you feel unseen
I see you.
When you feel unheard
I hear you.
When you feel unsupported
I support you.
When you feel utterly alone
I will always be with you.
Sincerely, A Friend

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My Dear Cashier
Ask me: How was your day?
I say, âItâs been a day.â
Ask me âHow are you doingâ
I simply say âI exist.â
I cannot bring myself to lie to you
But I wonât tell you the truth either.
Youâre just a gas station cashier.
How are you to know that when I say
I exist
I mean that I can no longer find worth in myself
That I have given so much that I am empty and hollow
But I keep givingâŚ
Tell me, cashier, how does one continue to beÂ
So generous when they have nothing left?
I exist as a once beautiful flower
Now wilting because I see no sun
Placed in the darkest corner in the basement of my mind.
My day has âbeen a dayâ I say
As I watch you ring up the pack of cigarettes
I asked for only because I need the distraction.
âItâs been a dayâ I sayÂ
As you scan the cans of beer Iâve laid out for you
Staring them down knowing theyâre never for me.
Those dastardly cans that determine so much in my life.
Iâve come to despise you, my friend.
Though you tell me your jokes and make conversation,
How am I to tell you that I want nothing more
Than to disappear into the foggy unknown.
Your small talk infuriates me soâŚ
To make light of a situation you know nothing about.
You ask me âdo you have any plans tonight?â
Should I tell you I plan to stare at my ceiling
Listening to the slow beating of my heart
Like the weak beating of a drumÂ
Belonging to a soldier too tired to carry on?
Should I tell you that I plan to suck down that cigaretteÂ
And envision the cancer inside me?
Should I tell you that I will scream at the skyÂ
Like a child whoâs lost their way?
I will boil my blood reminiscing on all the things
That I have done wrong!
I will curse my name and the thing that bore it!
I will drown myself in the echoes of my pastÂ
Sink into the darkness of my future
And wail as an animal nearing its death.
Should I tell you that I will be alone tonight
And for fear of myself I should not be alone?
Should I tell you that I will stand in the mirror
And see worms under my skin
Should I tell you that this is a cry for help
That you cannot hear because Iâm too ashamed to say it.
But youâre just the cashierâŚ
So Iâll take my bag, crumple this receipt
And as I shove it in my pocket walking out the door,
Iâll turn to you and say,
âOh, ya know, just the usual.â
I sat with my anger long enough, until she told me her real name was grief
I wanna be your whole world.
I wanna be your light.
I guess I'll settle for being around.
Jian
What if I told you that we could fly?
If I told you that you and I could touch the sky?
Would you believe me?
If I told you that alone our feet are like cinder blocks
Destined to drown us.
Alone we are tied to the earth
Destined to stay planted, stagnant.
Is that enough for you?
Would you be happy to live an unchanging life?
Alone, we will never flyâŚ
Never taste the freedom of those
That soar above us.
Donât you want to fly?
Donât you want to feel the wind on your face?
Taste the ice of freedom?
Donât you want to touch the sky?
To count yourself among the stars?
To cast a shadow on the moon?
What if I told you that you could?
We could fly together,
We could taste that sweetness of freedomâŚ
If you wantâŚ
Together we could walk amongst galaxies
Like Jian.
A bird with a single wing
A bird who cannot fly without a partnerâŚ
We are like Jian.
So join your hand in mine,
And together we can touch the sky.

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