#aszgc

Oh god lmao. Okay.

Angeal: likes the idea of a game about performing tasks, but will absolutely out himself as imposter. It would be dishonorable not to. Also

Genesis: Hates not being the imposter because the idea of performing tasks, even in a game, sounds terrible. Sabotage, however...

Also Genesis:

Sephiroth: totally the best player because no one is ever going to best that poker face, but also may or may not have any idea what’s going on or what exactly he’s been roped into. Also

Cloud: Nervous at first, which is kinda sus, but once he gets the hang of things he can be a right smug little shithead.

Zack: Too trusting, will legit out himself and offer to kill people who are suspecting Cloud, but also

(Anon, I want you to know I was on the phone with my grandmother when I read this. And I hit the Zack bit and lost my fucking shit ugly laughing ahdhsjdjd he.

I’m gonna try to expand on this but I highly doubt I’ll be able to match your god tier takes lmao.)

—o—

President ShinRa — has an account on Twitter but refuses to let a PR person run it. Accidentally Horny on Main Incident Counter: 3 (so far)

Cloud — Hates social media but has one at Zack’s insistence. Has a random username with like his birthday in it but it’s so forgettable you’d think it was just an auto-generated one he didn’t change. He only posts obscure photos, never selfies. Zack is the only one that follows him until he convinces the firsts to do it and starts posting photos of the blonde and tagging him. The rest is history.

Zack — Kind of really fratboy-ish on his accounts. Lots of photos of him in cut-out muscle shirts, megawatt grin in place, etc. It’s broken up by cute, soft pictures of him and Cloud or like Cloud sleeping or smth. He tags Cloud in them, too, and that’s how Cloud’s own follower count explodes, despite having a fairly empty page (Seph is sympathetic).

Also. He totally went on what he thought was “the dark web” on like Angeal’s tablet or smth. He’s currently running laps until he fucking dies.

Angeal — The most unproblematic and fun person to follow. Has the prettiest Instagram by far given his interest in photography. Accidentally aesthetic. Not really a selfie person and rarely posts to twitter.

Trouble in paradise only happens when a shirtless photo of him in some low-riding sweats that are clinging just a little too tight from exercise pops up on a rapidly growing tea spill account. It’s made worse when Gen reblogs it like 6 times and even fucking Sephiroth likes it. He can’t even look at his DM’s anymore.

Reno — Secretly has a personal insta that he think he cute about, and no one will ever find it. But Tseng knows. Because he always just knows. He just doesn’t say anything because he uses it as a quick way to keep tabs on what infraction(s) Reno has committed at any given time.

Genesis, slowly losing his mind, trying to explain his these new theories to ASZ&C in an emergency meeting he’s called:

Angeal, Sephiroth, Zack, and Zack’s cadet that he brings everywhere:

Sephiroth internally and apparently now channeling Hojo:

Meanwhile, Kunsel, in the vents:

Ahahdhsjdjd I’M SO GLAD PEOPLE ARE FINALLY SEEING THIS. You have no idea. For so long, people have dismissed the top four SOLDIERs/famous Firsts — Sephiroth and Genesis in particular here — as being bishōnen/pretty boy protagonists/antagonists and like....

Yes. They’re very pretty, if not straight up beautiful, men. But they are not small men by any means. Like:

Genesis is estimated to be around 6’2” and 160-170 lbs. (various sources)

Sephiroth is estimated to be around 6’3” - 6’5” and 190-200 lbs. (various sources)

Angeal is estimated to be around 6’4” - 6’6” and, going by the builds of athletic friends in real life, someone that muscular at that height could reasonably be anywhere from 210-225 lbs.

Zack isn’t small either, by any means. He’s listed as 6’3” and, again, from real life comparisons, probably clocks in at around 175-185 lbs. to have the build he has.

Ah, the Slutty, Slutty Wall Market adventure gets everyone. 😌

OH BOI I HAVE SOME THOUGHTS.

—o—SOLDIER attendees—o—

Zack: Party organizer extraordinaire and general instigator. The party looks like something out of a LMFAO video and there’s more tacky neon than you than one’s eyes should probably ever behold at one time. Oddly enough, the neon/glow-in-the-dark aesthetic he establishes works really well with bright glow-in-the-dark quality that SOLDIER eyes have.

He’s absolutely and without a doubt the life of the party, unsurprisingly. Like. Up on the table, amateur pole dancing type life of the party, much to Angeal’s absolute displeasure and Cloud’s embarrassment (he’s the guest of honor, after all).

Genesis: He’s definitely flirting with everything with a pulse, much to A&S’s chagrin. Makes a sort of competition out of being the center of attention with Zack... even though Zack has no idea it’s a competition. For the most part though, he’s harmless and his natural charm fits the party going atmosphere well. He does overdo it with Zack’s cute little friend and sends him fleeing into the kitchen, but there would be another time.

Now if only Angeal would stop looking like he was about to dole out an honor lecture.

Angeal: Surprisingly, he mellows out. Like. A lot. Still honorable, of course, but less intense with a slight buzz. He ends up enjoying himself even if he says he’s just there to keep Zack (and Genesis too, tbh) in line. He ends up striking up a conversation with Zack’s little blonde friend (who he later finds out is the guest of honor — it’s his birthday) and immediately takes a liking to him. They talk of home, supporting their moms, their dreams. He could have talked with Zack’s friend all night if he hadn’t practically sprinted away once Genesis started flirted with him.

He’d have to ask Zack about him later, if they didn’t get the chance to speak again.

Sephiroth: Absolutely out of his element, and ironically looks tame and normal in comparison to almost everyone else and their bright colors. He doesn’t mind people watching though, and A&G seem pleased that he’s agreed to even come to something this informal. So it’s not all bad. He mostly keeps to himself in the kitchen though, mildly annoyed at his own awkwardness.

However, when he spots an unfamiliar face looking to avoid the cowd the same way he is, he takes his chances at socializing. He recognized the trooper as Zack’s friend, but the two had never really spoken.

Kunsel: General making a ruckus with Zack but not quite to the extreme he is. He’s making the rounds and gathering the latest gossip.

—o—Non-SOLDIER attendees—o—

Reno: The only Turk that got invited. He’s shithammered by 8:22 p.m. and has traded his goggles for light up shutter shades. He’s the DJ and he only plays his favorites (read: dubstep).

And no, he does not pass the aux cord.

Cloud: Isn’t sure why Zack invited him or why he agrees to come. This isn’t his scene at all. He’s super uncomfortable and, even though Zack comes to check on him, he kind of shies away to a quiet corner in the kitchen — the same one the General himself happened to be occupying.

The blonde is instantly apologetic and offers to get out of the silverette’s space, but he declines. The two, while starting off on an extremely awkward foot, hit it off well. Cloud is comforted to know that someone who has achieved as much as Sephiroth has, deals the the same issues he does.

(Maybe he really could do the same, too.)

—o—Party Crashers—o—

The (rest of the) Turks, eventually. Unfortunately they have to tell the rest of the partygoers to turn it down, because all of the rattling from the noise and movement rattled some ceiling plaster loose and directly onto Hojo’s head.

I have done ASGZC’s music preferences before, here, and I can’t say there’s a lot I’d change my opinion on.