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my aspd ass experiencing genuine attachment to someone for the first time and now expecting them to hurt and betray me every second of my life because it's been reinforced that people are unreliable and will hurt you when it's more convenient for them than not hurting you
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Dude I missed the opportunity to fucking crack open a Tesla who left their dog in the car WITHOUT DOG MODE ON IN 100F WEATHER because Riku was in the front, I wasn't really tuned in for the day, and Riku was fucking hungry.
Like I am mad about the dog and animal abuse there and the negligence, but I'm also so fucking full of piss and shit and chronically want to throw down that I'm honestly more so upset I missed the opportunity to bash open a Tesla and possibly throw down with a little bitch who was nonchalant and like "what I was just in for a minute" and be in the objective right
My probable ASPD ass is salty. I literally live and breath for the opportunity to do legal and morally correct violence onto this world this fucking sucks. /hj for legal reasons/ I'm mad. Like legit mad.
To make it worse
We still don't have a FUCKING PUNCHING BAG here
-XIV
if you ever self diagnose yourself with a personality disorder I genuinely hope you fall down a flight of stairs, fuck you.
i’m only against lying if im not the one being lied to.
Fuck having ASPD honestly. Hate that my default state is "nobody's gonna take care of me so I gotta do it myself" and "nobody will want to keep me and I will always be alone". Hate that someone who does want to keep me is not an Exception and kinda irritates me even though I love her, but my actual main Exception does not really want to keep me at all
Like how bullshit is it that I find someone who I actually care deeply about, feel bad about lying to purely because I lied to them and nothing else, and want to be around a lot, and they probably won't keep me. It's bullshit that I want them to keep me and they probably won't. It's bullshit that I don't even know if that's legit how they think because my personality is so disordered I can't conceptualize anyone wanting someone in their lives past their convenience
Why the hell do I gotta go my entire life unable to form attachments but when I do feel such rage at the concept of abandonment that I feel like a child throwing a tantrum because daddy doesn't wanna talk to me and mommy thinks I'm evil
Honestly I'm so torn between enjoying that I'm attached to this person and being enraged that I'm attached to anyone at all
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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gotta say, the concept of ASPD Exceptions has explained a lot to me about why i am the way i am about people i consider Mine
Does anyone else have a "quiet time" setting? Like after a long day (or a not so long day) when you just shut off your brain and resolve not to do anything anymore.
And you either daydream or watch netflix or read or draw. And if someone else talks to you or tries to get you to do something it's like they're the biggest inconvenience in the world and you don't have time for them because it's your quiet time?
