#arias thoughts

That being said, as an obsessive creator and someone who loves to travel, there’s no way I’d ever live near them or even near my own family in my home state. I’ve realized I love living far away from people (family) so I have more time to focus on my creative endeavors with little to no distractions.

That may sound strange, but I don’t mind visiting family like once or twice a year (preferably once a year), just don’t want to live on the same side of country as them lol.

I enjoy my solitude so much that I honestly enjoy being alone most of the day, and I’ve accepted that. I feel more like myself when I’m allowed to just be and not worry about showing up to everyone and their grandmas house all the time to do god knows what.

It’s been a while since I’ve posted anything on this account but I think about it literally everyday.

So right now I have a piece of glass stuck in my foot and am stressing tf out.

It’s currently 12 am where I am and nothing is open so I have to wait to go to the urgent care at 8am tomorrow.

Oh man, all I have to say is that 2024 was certainly a year for me. Some much good came but also a lot of bad, but I'm beginning to learn from the bad things.

I've been on a journey of improving my mental health because I realized that was making everything harder for me. Even just trying to exist day to day was (and can still be) rough and I'm doing everything I can to make that better. I'm still only in my 20s so I know that I shouldn't know everything yet- but jeez I really struggle! and I'm sure lots of you do as well.

I would love to talk with you guys more on here and use the blog as it was meant to be, a safe space. If you are following my main writing blog, I will spare you with the details there. But here, oh man, the cat's out of the bag.

Sometimes, I'm very excited and happy, and other times (probably most of the time) I'm very dark and melancholic so please feel free to mute me if you need a break from that. Just being honest lol.

This maybe TMI but this is also my safe space so I can say whatever I want as long as I'm not hurting anybody.

YA'LL ...

I just returned home from my IUD insertion appointment and let me TELL you, that procedure is no joke. I have been on birth control many times before but never gotten an IUD insertion, I was a Nuvaring girlie bc it's easy to insert and remove. No pain involved at all. However, you have to change it out once a month and you still have your period.

That's alright for women who like to have their period, but after reading the book Period Power by Maise Hill, doing more research on why they happen and how, and talking to my gynecologist I realized two things:

I'm not planning on getting pregnant anytime soon (or possibly ever) So birth control is a must for me.

I do not need to have my period unless I am planning on getting pregnant-- which I am certainly not.

Periods are normal and beautiful but we all know how inconvenient and painful it can be to deal with, so I made the decision to get an IUD inserted (the Kyleena brand) which lasts up to 5 years and is 99% effective. It will also lighten my period and cramps significantly or even take away the period all together.

If ya'll are thinking of getting it is a perfectly safe procedure that does not require surgery to put in or remove. However..... That shit hurts!

My gyno told me it would feel like period cramps because she had the procedure done on herself and I said okay, i can take some period cramps! But no... this felt like the worst cramps in the world! I don't have endometriosis but I think that's what it might feel like. The good news is that it doesn't last more than a few days so I just took some ibuprofen to get me through.

Long story short is that I think it's worth it (I'm saying that through the current pain I have) but just be prepared for a short but intense disturbance of your uterus.

It's been a hot minute since I've posted on here, so here goes my monthly rant 😅:

Let's see, work is still annoying but I've made it less annoying by telling my bosses that they aren't good at their job- in a professional manner of course 😏. Long story short I finally got tired of their bullshitting about how everyone needs to do better at their job and I pointed out that they aren't even good at their job and they couldn't tell me I was wrong when i provided LOTS of examples. This has resulted in me getting two new workers for my department as well as a (potential) raise! I could talk more about this later about how I achieved this but really it was through trial and error (and dealing with the discomfort of pushing myself to speak up). For once in my life, opening my mouth and telling the truth has gotten me rewarded. We'll see how long that lasts though.

My cat was throwing up two days in a row last week which has been sort of worrying but lately this week he seems fine so I'm wondering it he had a large hairball in his throat or if he simply was a dumbass and ate something he wasn't supposed too. Could be either one 🤷🏾‍♀️. If he does it again I'm shipping him straight to the vet.

Oh- and I wrote a really long chapter of my fic which was really good! It took a lot of energy out of me so I have to recuperate this week and start up again next week. Gonna work on my Youtube content this week.

My husband got me vocal lessons for Christmas so I'm about to begin that. Please pray for me and the teacher so i don't ruin both our eardrums 🙏🏾

Other than that, my mental health has been a lot better this month so far. The reasons being: I got my IUD removed (it just wasn't for me foreal, too much bleeding. I'm back to the nuvaring ✨ ), I fired my therapist (long story short i have very high expectations for therapists and the past three I've had were complete jokes), I've gotten back to my normal exercise routine, and I've been listening to more health and wellness podcasts that help keep me motivated and educated about how to deal with this thing called life.

I know that was a lot but I have more.... that I'm not gonna share bc I'll be writing forever. Maybe next time.

Hope you guys are doing well!

Mentally I’m iffy, going back and forth with being pretty good and then feeling really low. Trying to decide if it’s my birth control messing with me or if it’s just life. Could be both fr.

Creatively I am doing amazing! I haven’t been posting any writing per se but I’ve been brainstorming and preparing for new and current stories which is exciting to me. I’ve also found another creatively outlet that lets me express myself authentically so I’m excited to grow on that path as well.

I don’t know when I’ll be posting any writing next but when I do it’s going to be good. I’m no longer forcing myself to be creative and am just going with the flow now. Helps my brain feel like it’s free to do whatever it wants. And that’s when the best stuff comes out.