The loveliness of Bruce’s utility belt.Â
Its Mary Poppins carpet bag. It’s Castle Glower’s extra rooms. It is the void.Â
Everything and anything you need can and will be found in there if you look long and hard enough.
There’s a lighter he keeps in the left pocket in case Gordon’s pipe goes out, or in case a goon on patrol is cold and needs a light and Bruce isn’t in the bone stealing mood. Also in case he needs to make a fire, or smth, ig
Matches in the opposite pocket, in case the lighter runs out of fluid, or because he was never really a follower of that whole “kids shouldn't play with matches” thing and it kept Dick entertained on boring patrols while teaching him how to safely handle fire okay?
Sparkly pink and purple hair ties can be found in almost every pocket and crease and wherever because before there was Steph there was Cass and before there was Cass there was Babs and sure she favored darker hair ties but she also liked making him pull out the most horrendously gaudy hair tie color whenever she needed one in front of the JL “friends” he tried so hard to maintain a gritty persona around
Loose bullets because he’s a fuckin freak??? Idk
Silver coins, gold coins, candy coins, chocolate coins, any form of currency in coins are in his pockets. Don’t ask where they came from, he doesn’t even know
Steph once found a hair dryer when she reached too deep in her search of lollipops. She did not ask.
Lollipops. (self explanatory dude literally has an orphanage under his cape)
An empty pizza box made of concrete. Was ridiculed for it until they actually needed to pretend to be pizza delivery boys on one undercover mission that turned dangerous(the box was then used as a weapon) and he is still so smug about it
A french dictionary translating latin into russian
About three CD’s of different artists depending on his mood (he never switches them, they just change)
A CD player
So. many. Old. receipts.Â
Muffins. Where did they come from? No idea. Are they edible? Yes. Should they be eaten? No. Has that stopped him/his children? Also no.Â
Lip gloss because he does in fact have three daughters and Steph once made an entire month of his life miserable because she was required short notice to go undercover and didn't have anything to make her lips look presentable
A kitten. She's still alive. He has tried to remove her. She does not like to be removed. She's been a kitten since Dick was Robin. He does not feed her. (He tries) He does not know how she's alive.
A change of clothes- his size, so any of his kids can use it
Pepper spray
A make up palletÂ
So. many. Sticky notes. Some of them are encouragements(Dick) some are insults(still dick) some are notes on cases(tim) some are recipes(jason) some are encouragingly threatening insults(steph and dick) some are little drawings(cass and damian) and some just have quotes, which concern Bruce to every degree when he uncovers them (“is paint flammable?” “Who ate the glowing test tube in the fridge?” “feed the parakeet too late”)
Trinkets. Ungodly amounts of trinkets. A small superman on a keychain. A mini Robin figurine from a discontinued Batburger kids meal.(which robin is it? Its not clear, the paint and discernable features have been rubbed off) a stegosaurus mold.Â
Fruit snacks. He has kids
Glow sticks. Why? Not clear.Â
Oh, also, of course- the important stuff- grappling line, grappling hook, smoke bombs, glitter bombs, paperclips, mustard bottles, ketchup bottles- wait hang on
Ahem: gauze, bandages, usb sticks, magnets, a waffle iron- maybe there really isn't anything reasonable in here….
Oh and, of course, a small wallet with a picture of each of his kids when they were eight. No one is entirely sure how he acquired a picture of each of them when they were eight- earlier than when he got most of them- but shhhh
