The boring update
Ā Okay so another update in my dear blog diary, again written in my bathroomā¦ sitting on the toilet. Thereās something genuinely relaxing about writing this while in my bathroom, itās like I can only share the truths of my life when Iām not wearing pants.
Is that weird? Are you weirded out yet?
So whatās happened since last time we spoke? Well Iāve been working as a cleaning girl at a hotel. I worked there for three weeksā¦ then I quit. Partly because I couldnāt stand the people I worked with. And okay here youāre gonna have a truth that Iāve told no one.
I talked with my parents and friends about how I hated the job, and I may have over exaggerated the reasons to hate my job. Donāt get me wrong, the place was literally hell on earth, and I mean you have to be really tough to work at a place like thatā¦ and Iām not really toughā¦ Iām more squishyā¦ like a snailā¦ or a serving of puddingā¦
So when I came home crying after having overheard my coworkers talking behind my back. Saying how bad and slow at my job I was I decided to quit.
I told my parents that they had said I was bad at my job, but I also told them that theyād said I was fat and uglyā¦ a complete lie because they hadnāt even mentioned itā¦ Maybe it was a reflection of how bad I felt about myselfā¦ or how bad this work place had made me feel about myselfā¦. Anyway, I was mad at this place, I was mad at my boss and his bossā¦ and just everyone! This place was filled with fucking back-stabbers and snobby bitchesā¦ and I wanted to go down with a bang.
So I wrote to the guy who owned the place that Iād been called fat and ugly, and that all the workers talked trash about eachother and even him (which is actually true) and I told him that the work dynamic was shit and everyone were fucking fake (again this is true), and then I said that I was quitting.
The problem is that I am terrified that someone from my work will come and find me. I mean I live in a tiny town, and everyone knows everyone. But hopefully I am moving out of this town soon, soā¦ but still when someone with a withheld number calls my phone I donāt pick upā¦ I shouldnāt be afraid of them, because they have probably already forgot me and stuffā¦ but I am. I am actually afraid.
Ā So in other news Iāve been partying a lot more these days. And Iāve been in what we call āthe streetā twice. Ā The street is this whole street full of clubs and bars, itās about one hour away from my home (if youāre driving in a car, that is). The last time I was partying there I was with my friend Anna2. Anna2 never really moved on from our school time, she still gets high everyday and so we got high out of our brains and went clubbing after that. I was so high I donāt really remember walking to the clubsā¦ but yeah we had a bunch of fun. Itās awesome going out with Anna2 because we like the same bars and the same kinda guysā¦ longhaired with beards, not like gimli kinda guysā¦ more like Aragorn or like the model Austin Davis.
Ā So we party and have a good time, and then the bars are closing around usā¦ at this time it was 8 in the morning and bright sun outsideā¦ so yeah it was natural that the bars were closing. Anyway we go down to the harbor and she starts making out with a guy sheād brought with herā¦ and I donāt like the guyās friend enough to want to kiss him so I bail on them. I go over to a small group of guys sitting and watching the ocean, and I sit down.
I tell them that Iād come to hang out because my friend was making out with a stranger.
They were cool with me being there and asked if I wanted to jump in the harbor with me.
It is massively illegal to jump in the harbor but they have wet hair and have obviously already been in once. I told them I didnāt know if it was a good idea, they said that we should all be naked.
Out of the blue two of the guys took their clothes off and jumped in, it looked like so much fun that it wasnāt hard for the last guy to convince me that it was a good idea. I said I didnāt want to be naked in the water with them, and I kept my panties on.. and borrowed his tshirt.
I jumped in, and the water was actually warmā¦ which was a nice surprise.
We splashed around for a while and Anna2 went home with the guy she was making out with so I was stuck on the habor. When we got up again I was cold and I had no place to go, so one of the guys offered me to come home with himā¦ or well he practically forced me, promising me a warm shower and a bedā¦
Needless to say that I had sex with him that night, I donāt really remember his name, or his address but still I regret nothing. He wasnāt as good a shag as Drunkbilly, because I had no emotional attachment to him. And he was kinda weird and it was basically a pity-shag.
I mean the guy was a fucking freak. He was sweating so much that he was actually dripping on my stomachā¦ like what the fuck!? Ā And he just took ages to come.. I mean I got so tired of faking it that I nearly just asked him to stop.
But eventually he did come and I got to sleepā¦ but then only an hour later I wake up because heās humping meā¦ and then he wants to fuck again. I guess I was drunk enough to think that it would be easier if I just faked it even more then heād be done fasterā¦ also he was just so pathetic and I felt so bad for him.
Almost at the end of the second shag he gets up on his feet and starts to masturbateā¦ I ask him what the hell heās doing and he asks if he can come on my face. I tell no he cannot, and then he asks me to suck his dick and I tell him no. At this point my pity and and patience at this point runs on zero.
He asks what he can get to do with me, and I tell him that he can shag me like a regular person if he can control his sweat enough to not drip on me.
So he finishes and I wait until heās asleep to flee the place.
What a freak.
Ā So anyway thatās pretty much whatās been going on in my life right nowā¦ well that and existential crisises and stuff like thatā¦ applying for every job in the book and getting only rejectionsā¦ and applying for every education in the book and getting only rejections. So yeah. I guess thatās whatās happening in my part of the world right now. Iām kinda depressed over all of this, but also in a weird way I canāt bring myself to care that much.
Okay I am signing out now, thanks for listening blog, you da best *insert passive emoticon.
See ya.Ā
