#angeldesaray

*Levi’s POV*

Erwin had given the two of them a day to prepare before departing, a day to make sure any tasks that needed them at headquarters could either be finished or handed off to someone else.  Levi spent most of that time making sure the squad was going to put in the work to remain in shape and ready for any potential trouble while he was gone, and closely going over the reports that crossed his desk from Erwin about the developing situation with the refugees.  He didn’t think he was going to be getting a date for the mass execution they were going to have to carry out in the day before they left, but he still looked, still followed every development, every step that brought them closer to the inevitable that was starting to weigh on him more and more.  It hadn’t even been announced or finalized yet, and he could already feel it looming over him like a smog.

Last night had been a much needed and welcome distraction.  Even talking about Emery, having some of the harder discussions about the two of them, had been better than his thoughts lingering on this sickening insanity.

Though, it wasn’t that insane, was it, when he understood perfectly what they were doing, and why, and he and those around him couldn’t think of any other solutions that were a viable alternative to the incoming slaughter.  Either they did something about the situation–with this being the only option anyone could see–or the situation would be solved in an even more bloody and violent way as tensions exploded and people started fighting over resources and inside the walls turned into every man for himself.

Didn’t mean it didn’t make him sick, didn’t mean he didn’t hate every second it was discussed or thought of as the situation developed and plans were being made, he could see some of the moves being made in preparation of what was about to happen…

He’d much rather be thinking about Y/N last night, of their kiss, of the feel of her fingers trailing down his chest, her palm over his heart or pressed against his abdomen, the depth of their kiss that had stolen his breath for the first few long moments, made him dizzy and restless and wanting.  At least, before her position had come dangerously close to one that would have had him driven mad with the proximity, before a stab of anxiety at the thought of stumbling accidentally into more sexual waters when clear-headed he’d already decided he was not ready had made him pull back and speak up.

He had thoughts, that was undeniable.  He’d already…touched himself while having thoughts of how tantalizing he found her how many times, now?  And that hunger that started to burn inside them when they had the time to get particularly close, to be a bit more intimate than brief brushes and kisses, made it clear that he wanted more.

But thinking about actually doing it?  Hell, he didn’t think he’d even pictured her in his mind’s eye unclothed–not yet, anyway.  He wasn’t quite there yet, and it stressed him out too much when he started to think about the potential of them having sex–

He wasn’t ready.  It felt good to know she wasn’t, either, that he wasn’t holding her back or making her wait or anything like that.  He wanted to be closer to her when they had the time and privacy to do so, but the thought of being that close was still…too much, right now.

And besides, they had far too much to be doing right now to be worrying or stressing out over sex.  There were much more important things to worry over.

First Emery, and anything that may pop up into the mix with that mess they were attempting to clean up, then the refugees, and then, most likely, when they returned they were going to be faced with the ‘solution’ to the food crisis.

The extra day to prepare ended up passing quickly enough Levi found it unnerving in how uneventful it turned out to be.  Y/N didn’t come to visit him after dinner this time, mostly because they planned on leaving just before dawn and both needed their rest before then.  Well, mostly Y/N needed her rest–Levi slept just about as terribly as he normally did.  Which also meant that he was up and ready for the day far sooner than she was.  There was barely daylight starting to lighten the sky in the distance when Levi grabbed the bare necessities he’d packed for the trip and headed out to the stables to start readying the horses for their departure.

It had been a while since the last expedition–far longer than normal, by now–and the horses were getting more restless.  They even rivaled their owners in how impatient they seemed to be to leave the cramped walls of their enclosures and venture back into open spaces.

Except the next time that they went beyond the walls, it would just be into the old territory, still within the walls, unable to reach that vast unknown space beyond that they had ventured into before.

As such, once Levi had both his horse and Zephyr saddled and ready–taking the time to make sure all the straps were secure and the gear in the proper place–he took them by the reins and started them on slow laps walking around the pasture to kill the time it would take for Y/N to arrive.

For the most part, they behaved–Zephyr kept wanting to quicken her pace and move ahead of Levi and his horse, but he was able to keep her under control and in pace with himself and the black stallion walking just a step behind.  His horse was mostly well behaved, though occasionally the stallion seemed to lean over to Zephyr and nibble at her mane when Levi wasn’t looking.  Even when Levi gave a small tug on the reins to correct the behavior, the stallion simply waited a little while before he did it again, earning a scowl from Levi and a grumble about Zephyr continuing to be a bad influence on him.

Just as the sky was brightening to the point Levi knew that the sun would be appearing soon, Levi finally spotted Y/N waiting by the fence for him to finish the current lap, rubbing at her eyes tiredly and muffling a yawn, leaning heavily on the post in front of her.  Levi gave a small tug on the reins, encouraging both horses to change directions and start heading towards her.

By the time Levi reached her, she was standing straight again, attempting to look alert after he'd caught her looking half-dead this early in the morning.

“You've been up for a while,” she remarked, voice still lower and rougher than normal, which gave away just how fresh out of bed she was.

“And you clearly just fell out of bed,” Levi responded, tossing Zephyr's reins to her.  At least she caught them.  “We've got a ways to go, and Erwin didn't give us a lot of time to get things done.  The sooner we leave, the better.”

“I know,” she murmured, attempting to muffle and hide a yawn as she came closer to Zephyr to start making sure everything was in place.  Levi watched, reaching out at one point to tug on one of the saddle straps to make sure it was secure and in place and eyeing the straps of her ODM harness suspiciously.  Considering she was half asleep, he wasn't entirely sure it was as tight as it should be, one of the straps seemed to be at something of an angle…

Before she got around to mounting her horse, and while she was still close to him, Levi reached out to adjust the one sitting at an odd angle.  His fingers ran under the straps while he had the opportunity to see how loose they were, before tightening them when necessary with a scowl.

“Are you always this careless with the straps?”

“No.  Guess I didn't pull hard enough.”

“You're not allowed to do your gear half asleep, if the result’s this shit.”

“Are you going to come in and do it for me every time it's an early start and I didnt sleep with them on?” She asked, the teasing obvious in her voice.

“Fuck no,” Levi grumbled, giving a last tug on the last strap.  She was an adult that had already gone through training–and normally he didn't see the straps in this kind of state to prompt this kind of thing.  “If this becomes a problem, you'll be drilling putting on the straps until you can do it in your sleep.”

She rolled her eyes, but there was a smile on her lips before Levi turned to mount his horse.  “It already feels like I can.”

“The state of those straps suggests otherwise.”

The only response he got was a soft laugh as she mounted Zephyr, bringing the mare around to stand astride Levi.  She knew where the cave Emery was in, and how to find the entrance, but Levi was still taking the lead for the majority of the trip there, at least while they were on horseback and then later when they were dealing with the refugees, considering the technically superior/subordinate in public dynamic.

He'd have to do some digging to see if there was anything they could finagle to fix that so that they were equals, or as close to it as possible, in public and not just behind closed doors.

That, however, was a thought for another time.  Right now, they had a journey to make and a young vampire to go give an ultimatum to, which hopefully would result in one of the positive outcomes, for the sake of everyone involved.

Here was hoping the kid would not only listen, but act accordingly after this.

The ride was a long one, and included at least two breaks for the horses.  They technically only needed the one, considering their breeding and training for long distances in titan territory, but both of them had decided that within the walls, there wasn’t the need to push them in such a manner.  Their timeframe for their trip could afford a few breaks for the horses to rest and drink, maybe even do a bit of grazing while Levi and Y/N took the opportunity to speak.  Neither of them were trying to hold a conversation over the pounding of their horses’ hooves during the travel itself, so any necessary conversation before they reached their destination was done in the brief time they had giving the horses some time to rest.

She was nervous, Levi didn’t even need to try to glean that from her demeanor.  She was going back to being more comfortably affectionate, too, which was part of the reason why it was so easy for him to tell.  Her hands sought out his own, whether it was just to brush her fingers against the back of his hand or to hold it long enough to give it a small squeeze, which also allowed him to feel the nervous twitching of her fingers, the slightly cooler than normal temperature of her skin.  She wasn’t very still, either, shifting to stand closer to him but maintaining a gap between them, still, because she wouldn’t hold the position.  She’d shift to stand beside him, loom over his shoulder, shuffle to stand a bit more in front of him, shuffle away to fidget with something on Zephyr’s saddle.

It wasn’t that bad at the first rest stop, but the second was more noticeable and blatant.  He didn’t ask, though, because he already knew.  She was worried–worried for Emery, worried about what Levi’s approach would be, about risks to Levi if Emery lost control, worried about what choice Emery would make.  She had a fairly long list of things to worry and fret over, but they’d both already discussed it, were already aware of it, and didn’t see the point in bringing it up again when they would just be saying the same things all over again.  Besides, there was no point in fretting over it anymore when they were about to finally carry it out and would have answers by the end of the day, whether they liked the results or not.

Levi also noticed, as they were traveling, that there was more of a Garrison presence on the road than there normally was.  It wasn’t so heavy that there was always a soldier in sight, even from a distance, but it was often enough to make it clear that the roads were being patrolled, monitored, and a military presence was certainly being kept amongst the people.

It could be preparing for potential trouble in the time it took to get the fucked up ‘plan’ for the food shortage executed, and it could also be in part because of the search for Emery.  A presence this heavy on the roads would have made it hard for a normal criminal to get anywhere without someone noticing, and this level of a presence also meant there were plenty of soldiers in the area to react if unrest started boiling over without the numbers of the soldiers being blatantly obvious.

One glance over in Y/N’s direction told Levi that she’d noticed, too, and had come to some very similar conclusions.

The sun was starting its descent into the western sky when the mountain they were headed for started to loom in the distance.  Levi’s head arched back to gauge the hours that they had left to reach that mountain at the speed they were maintaining, doing some mental math to make sure that there would be enough sunlight for them to properly utilize it for his protection while talking to Emery as had been their initial plan.

If not, they would have simply gone to the refugees, first, and seen Emery tomorrow before leaving.  But, he felt rather confident they could get there with plenty of time to do the riskier part of this discussion with the sun.

Once the mountain was in closer range, Y/N took up the lead instead, guiding them off the more well traveled paths and into a more direct path that would lead them into the woods beside the mountains, and then into the mountain’s slopes.  They slowed their pace so they wouldn’t draw attention as two soldiers racing along off the beaten path, and also to more safely navigate the terrain that was giving way from plains and fields to sparse forests, thickening as they grew closer to the mountain itself.  The silence continued between them–comfortable, thankfully, even though the way Y/N was holding her reins bunched up in her hands in a tight grip that would probably destroy the leather if she didn’t restrain herself gave away her continued nerves.

They found a fairly well hidden glade in the middle of a thick patch of trees where the mountain started to slope upwards, and dismounted there, choosing it as the spot they would hitch their horses until they finished the meeting with Emery.  Y/N wasted no time in making sure Zephyr was secured and that she had everything she needed, looking up at the mountain they were about to traverse on foot as Levi dismounted and hitched his horse nearby.  Everything he needed was on him, not his horse, so he didn’t bother with the check she’d made.  Instead, he came right over to her side, noting her continued distraction with her own thoughts and reaching out to place a hand on her shoulder, which caused her to jump slightly as she came back to the present with him.

“Out of your head.  There’s no point worrying over it, it’ll be over within the hour or so.”

At best.  It may take longer than that, but he was sticking with the general estimate for now, if it didn’t take them too long to get to the cave itself.

“Sorry…I don’t have much of a part to play in this besides making sure he doesn’t attack you, so I guess there’s just more nerves than normal over how it’s going to go down.”

Levi sighed at the admission.  It was understandable, of course, that she was so worried about the ultimatum discussion being so out of her control, but again, it wasn’t anything she could do much about right now.  She needed to get out of her own head while they headed to the cave.

In a few strides, Levi was at her side, shoulder brushing hers as he craned his neck to look up through the trees at the slope of the mountain rising above them.  “Come on–we don’t have time to linger,” he remarked, and a second later he felt her hand slip into his.  By now, the gesture was natural, right, and a part of him relaxed to feel it, giving her hand a small squeeze before he tugged her forwards.

Levi only led for the first few steps–once they were out of the glade, Y/N took up the lead since she knew where this cave was, navigating the slopes to find a path that both of them could make with relative ease without having to rely on her vampire abilities to jump an extraordinary high distance or leap over a gap no human could jump without ODM gear.  They had their gear, but they didn’t want to have to use it unless absolutely necessary, since their cover mission didn’t really require its use.

The climb didn’t take as long as Levi thought it might have–the sun hadn’t moved too much lower in the sky by the time she pointed out the cave’s entrance.  At best, they’d only been at it for forty-five minutes, at worst a little over an hour.  Once she pointed it out and Levi knew that they were close enough that Emery would be able to hear them soon, Levi tugged her to a brief stop so they could talk one more time before heading in.

“Before we go in--can you keep your head and let me do this my way?” Levi asked, gaze fixed on her and watching closely for her reaction.

She shifted in place, the smallest frown flickering across her face.  She was still uneasy about what that might entail, then.  Levi wasn't going to expand on it any further.  If Emery needed a more forceful hand to get things through his head, Levi was prepared to be that forceful hand.  But if the kid saw sense quickly and he didn’t need to use force, then there wasn’t any point in dragging it up beforehand.

After a few moments, she gave him a tentative nod, eyes flickering in the direction of the cave.  “Even if I end up not liking something about it, this is your show right now.  I’m pretty much just here to make sure he doesn’t try to eat you and to see what the outcome will be.”

Good enough, he supposed.  As long as she wasn’t going to undermine what he was trying to do, that was the important part.

Levi gave a nod in the direction she’d been glancing in, signaling her to lead on as he fell into step just behind her.

They didn’t travel so terribly far up the mountain that the trees disappeared, but they did get high enough that the terrain became more rock than grass and dirt, and the incline was starting to turn steep.  As for the cave itself, there was an isolated cliff face hidden from the treetops and rising up above them that required a brief use of the ODM gear for Levi to reach, and a simple inhuman jump for Y/N to top before Levi.  She went first so that Emery wasn’t startled by a stranger’s arrival–the situation was tense enough as it was without adding Emery accidentally attacking Levi at the start thinking he was an intruder.

“Emery?  We’re here,” she called softly as she temporarily disappeared from Levi’s view as the cables pulled him up to the lip of the cliff.

As Levi pulled himself up to solid ground and started to get to his feet, she walked straight into the shadows of the six foot tall cave entrance in front of them.  Deeper in, he could see movement, a roughly familiar shape taking form as the vampire, for the first time since the few moments of passing on Wall Rose during the Fall, came close enough for Levi to start noting distinguishing features.  His mind listed the important things quickly–height, weight, youthful appearance, freckles, deep green eyes, dirty blond but unruly hair tucked behind sticking out ears–

Within seconds, Levi had a good enough look at him to be able to effortlessly pick him out of a crowd if need be.  He could also see what she had meant about Emery still being a kid–Levi could tell just looking at him that he'd been turned in the middle of his growing years, some features more defined than others that still had their softer, youthful edges.

Y/N was still between Levi and Emery, with Emery quite a ways back in the cave and not, at the moment, coming a single step closer to the entrance.  Despite the distance, the two of them were much closer than they had been on the wall.  As for Y/N, Levi could see the tension building inside her as they all waited to see how Emery would react to the close proximity to Levi, her shoulders held higher with how tightly strung she seemed, coiled and ready to have to intercept a blind lunge.

Emery leaned just slightly to the side to peer around Y/N, faint recognition sparking in his widening green eyes and slowly growing stronger the longer he studied him.

“Wait, I know you–on the wall that night, and–aren't you–?”

Levi rested a hand on his hip–close to his gear and blades–readying a short response to shut down a slew of off-topic questions about Levi before he saw something shift in Emery's demeanor, the young man's posture going from timid and hesitant to still and taut, the now-familiar red glint spark in the young man's eyes as he stopped mid sentence.

Y/N was already shifting closer, a hand gripping Emery’s shoulder in an abrupt and hopefully steely grasp, trying to pull the kid's attention away from Levi.  Those eyes were turning more red than green, and unlike with Y/N, Levi felt a chill of warning down his spine, his instincts rearing their head to tell him to fight or run–he was far more inclined to fight, but there was still the underlying urge to escape the predator in front of him that she was now trying to talk down. 

“Emery, through the mouth, deep breaths, like we talked about,” she said, voice steady and clear, trying to cut through the blood haze that was taking control.

Emery grabbed onto her arm, turning his head away from Levi as the red continued to consume the green of his eyes, the exhale he let out coming out strangled and guttural, fingers digging in hard enough into her upper arm Levi could see her wince and suck in a sharp breath to bite back any noise of pain.

“Levi, back up a bit–if you can,” she warned.

Levi complied, but it wasn’t much–he was already standing close to the edge, and he wanted to give himself the space to maneuver if he had to redirect Emery away from himself.  He had barely shifted his weight when the wind shifted behind him, blowing in the direction of the two vampires in the cave.  He instinctively switched to a more at the ready position the same moment that Y/N stiffened–

As Y/N had worried over and apparently unintentionally predicted, a shift in the breeze was all it took for the young vampire’s finite control to rupture.  Y/N’s grip on Emery’s upper arm wasn’t strong enough to restrain, as she’d been focused on catching his attention and trying to ground him, so it was no surprise when he was able to pull free with the wild lunge in Levi’s direction, the hand that had been trying to hold to her for stabilizing support now knocking that arm aside to try and get her out of the way of his mad dash.

The movement was rapid, everything happening faster than he could finish drawing a breath.  Emery was lunging for him, crimson eyes having burned away the forest green that had been there moments prior, all four fangs on full display and ready to rip through flesh, a face that had been youthful and dare he say innocent a few moments ago suddenly twisted with animalistic savagery.  Levi barely had time to raise his hands, to get ready to shove Emery back into the cave when he inevitably burned himself in the sunlight, ready to take the hit and redirect the young man back into the shadows when Y/N rammed into Emery from the side.

They both careened into the darkness, Y/N staying on top in a takedown that was more raw force than technique, pinning Emery to the ground with her arm on his throat and a knee in his gut to keep the young man down.  Levi caught a glimmer of red in her own eyes–just a glint–as Emery thrashed against her, trying to claw, bite, and shove her off him with raw strength alone, his fingers gouging into her arms in the process and drawing blood.

Her expression, however, did not hold a hint of the wildness Emery now showed.  Hers was distraught, but focused.  Disappointed, but unsurprised.

Controlled.  Something Levi saw not a trace of in Emery’s feral expression and movements.  Even when Y/N had attacked him in the warehouse out of desperation, or when she’d defended him from the other vampire in the Underground, she’d been nothing like this.  The closest to this he could think of was in the Underground, and even then, while she’d shown some of the more vicious traits lurking under the surface–the flash of her fangs, the hissing and snarling, the red eyes–it had no resemblance to this.

Even the other vampire that had attacked him that night, that had been motivated by raw desire to feed off Levi’s blood, hadn’t been this wild.  They had both still been in control of themselves, of their bloodlust–the focus of most of Y/N’s efforts of growth, always about control of herself and her bloodlust.

He had not seen a vampire without control before, until now, seeing one too new to have any, seeing Emery lose all sense of control and be overcome by raw instinctual need to feast on human blood.

His blood.  Too tempting for someone so new to resist, even unspilled when he was this close.

Suddenly, Levi felt a new appreciation for just how much control Y/N had around him, especially in the early days and when he’d bled in front of her and she’d had to resist so many times before, before she’d grown accustomed to being around him so often.

Maybe he hadn’t fully realized just how enticing his blood was when she’d explained it back then.  Not until now.

Emery’s clawing at her arms gouged new lines into her arms to replace the ones that were rapidly healing–courtesy of the blood still running strong in her system from Levi–dark crimson running down both arms to pool on the stone floor and stain Emery’s shirt, and prompting Levi’s gaze to harden and focus.  The young man didn’t look like he was anywhere close to coming back to his senses, continuing to wildly thrash and claw and snap in a desperate attempt to lunge at Levi.

They weren’t going to get anywhere with Emery like this.  They needed him at least capable of listening.

“Let him go.”  Her head snapped up so she could look at him like he was insane, so Levi gave her a bit more than the command.  “He might burn some sense back into himself.  If he wants to charge headfirst at me into the sun, let him.”

That was clearly something she didn’t agree with, a scowl sprawling across her features as she looked back at Emery, still struggling against her and drawing blood, fixated on Levi and completely ignoring the vampire atop him except in the struggle to throw her off so he could try to get to Levi.

“Fine, but I don’t like it,” she muttered, focused entirely on Emery as she held her position, giving Levi enough time to brace himself before she abruptly let go and backed up, cradling her blood-slick arms to herself while they healed and allowing Emery to make his feral charge towards Levi, unrestrained.

Predictably, Emery charged full speed towards Levi and right into the path of the sun, staggering to a halt a step or two from Levi with arms suddenly crossed in front of himself to try and block the sun as his skin began to steam, skin turning splotchy with read patches of skin peeling away and burning.  His snarling turned into a sharp cry of pain as he staggered backwards towards the shadows on instinct, overwhelmed and confused by the jarring switch from wild full instinctual charge to the shock of agony bringing him roughly back to the present. 

Levi followed the young man as he staggered backwards towards the darkness, only two steps away despite the fairly good look he’d just received of how tempting his blood was for the poor kid.  Just before Emery could reenter the shadows, as Y/N was starting to tense in the background in concern that Emery wasn’t going to make it back out of the sun before he burned up, Levi took the young vampire’s distraction with the pain from the sunlight and temporary confusion from being so painfully shocked back to reality to have an easy upperhand in restraining him.

Grasping onto the young vampire’s forearms in a grip much firmer than the one Y/N had on the kid’s upper arm, Levi pulled Emery’s arms away from the shielded position covering his face, which caused him to recoil and hiss at the pain suddenly burning the more sensitive skin of his face.  Not wanting to risk the young vampire turning into a pile of ash just at the mouth of the cave–something that was getting uncomfortably close to happening judging by the antsy way Y/N was shifting from foot to foot just inside the cave–Levi was quick to spin the kid around to face the shadows of the cave, twisting Emery’s arms behind the kid’s back in the process and pushing him back into the shadows of the cave.

Once Emery was safely within the shadows and no longer actively burning, Levi swept his legs out from under him, causing the young man to fall forwards, the wind temporarily knocked out of him, landing right next to the beams of sunlight stretching into the cave’s entrance, perfectly within range if the young man started trying to attack again.  Levi used one hand to press one of Emery’s arms up into his back–without breaking it, though in a good position to do so if necessary–Emery’s other arm ending up trapped beneath his body while Levi’s other hand preemptively got a good grip on the back of the kid’s head by the hair so, if he started trying to bite him again, Levi could control it with ease and keep from getting attacked.

Behind him, Y/N shifted closer, but she didn’t try to intervene.  He could hear her shifting anxiously behind him, though, staying nearby if something happened, her gaze boring into the back of Levi’s head–

He ignored it for the moment.

For the moment, Emery’s head was turned so that his cheek was pressed into the ground of the cave, but he could look up with one eye at Levi so Levi would be able to watch his expressions and track his mood shifts and make sure he was actually paying attention to what Levi was going to be telling him.  At the moment, there was still more red than green in his eyes, and Levi could feel Emery trying to squirm and buck free beneath him, but Levi kept him pinned to the ground with his position…and with his raw strength.

Interesting…so a new inexperienced vampire couldn’t match his strength.  That was good to know.  Not something to let get to his head, though–he’d already experienced a vampire that matched his strength and a vampire that had strength greater than his own.  However…it was still a point of interest he filed away for later.

Emery tried to lift his head, arm trying to pull free of the grip Levi had him in, but Levi shoved his head back down and tightened his grip on the young man’s arm, gaze sharp and for the moment indifferent to his struggling.

“Breathe through your mouth like she told you, and get your shit back under control, or that won’t be the only time you get some sun today,” Levi said, tone even and calm despite the silence of the cave making his voice sound louder.  Emery tried to rear again, and Levi pushed him back down into the ground again.  “Don’t–you’re going to stay like this until we’re done for everyone’s safety.”

Emery had already lunged at Levi with the instinct to kill and gouged the hell out of Y/N’s arms over and over until her blood stained Emery’s clothes and the floor, Levi wasn’t going to let him do any more damage today.

“Are you listening to me?”

There was far too much red in Emery’s eyes for Levi to be convinced that Emery would really hear what Levi was telling him if he started speaking now, so he had to check, first, watching for a reaction that would show him he could continue and his words would actually process with the kid.  Emery snarled at him, a little more red creeping into his eyes, and Levi put a bit more pressure on the arm that he had twisted behind the young vampire’s back, causing that snarl to cut off with a cry of pain and more red to vanish as his face twisted up in pain.  The eyes staring back at Levi had more green to them, now.

“Are you listening?” Levi repeated, eyes never waving from Emery’s.

“...Yes,” he finally answered, voice gruff and strained around heavy breaths passing his lips, red still gleaming in his eyes, but enough senses having returned to the young man for him to actually listen to what Levi had to say.

Good, Levi thought, the shitstorm this kid had stirred up and was threatening to bring down on all of them roiling to the front of his mind now that the kid was properly under control and wasn’t going to be breaking free any time soon, forced to listen to every word Levi was about to say.

“I hear you want her to do all the shit work and take all the risks while you reap the rewards,” Levi remarked, voice low and hard.  Emery squirmed beneath him, red stained green eyes flickering away from Levi’s unrelenting stare.

“That’s…not how I’d put it…”

“Oh?  Then how would you put it?”

Levi’s voice had turned deceptively calm and quiet, but his grip in the kid’s hair tightened as he pressed his head down into the ground with enough force for Emery to wince and shift his gaze back towards him, eyes widening in sudden fear of the man that had him pinned to the ground so effortlessly with the calm but terrifying tone directed at him. 

“Because you promised you’d put in the effort to learn to survive, but when it was time to do your part, you had her do it instead.  And it sounds like that’s how you want it to be from now on.”

“I…I just can’t hurt anyone–” Emery started to rebuke, but his voice was frail and cracking, lacking conviction in the face of how afraid he was at the moment.

Levi cut him off before that delusion could linger in the air. “You’ve already killed people, so don’t act like your hands are clean.  This pretend bullshit that you can stay innocent if you don’t make any of the hard decisions is just making the shitstorm you created worse–one that’ll get more people killed and take her with you if you don’t start taking responsibility.”

Despite the distress that filled the half of his expression that Levi could see, he could see the red draining from his watering eyes little at a time despite the conversation topic–at least he was getting his bloodlust under control.

“But those were all accidents!  Killing more people–on purpose–can’t be right!” Emery railed desperately.  He wasn’t physically struggling against Levi anymore, seeming to accept finally that this was the best position, uncomfortable as it was, for the time being.  He did, however, start to shudder beneath Levi at the thought of having to kill more people, having to purposely take a life, and tears were now disappearing under his lower eyelid and over the bridge of his nose.

“I never said it was right,” Levi corrected, his voice momentarily distant and pausing to let the reality of what they were discussing be properly absorbed, that he wasn’t trying to simplify and justify something this complicated, before his voice hardened again as he went back on the offense for Y/N.  

“But it is how you’re going to survive and stop having accidental massacres.  Do you think she wanted to?  That it was easy?  She’s had to claw and fight to get where she’s now, a fight you haven’t even started.  She’s giving you the way she knows will eventually mean less or no death, but you’re going to have to fight to get there.”

“I-I just, I just don't think I can do it!”  Emery’s breath hitched around sobs he was trying to choke down, struggling to get the words out around his catching breaths.

“She might have been kind enough to give you a chance, but don’t assume I’m going to let your refusal to survive destroy everything she’s fought for.”  That was the closest to a lethal threatening tone Levi had let his voice get so far.  He’d kept his tone steady and deadly calm this whole time, but when it came to the crux of the issue he took with Emery, the threat Emery was posing to Y/N and everything she’d worked to gain, that was where his anger leaked through.  

“The military is turning this place inside out looking for you, vampire hunters are after you, and that’s just the topside shit that you’re dragging her into.  It’s more than her life at stake if something happens to her, humanity needs her more than ever, and one indecisive brat is not more important than her safety.”

No need for Emery to know this was more personal for Levi than that.  Y/N knew, but Emery didn’t need to, so he went back to the old, ‘She’s important to the Scouts and Humanity’ excuse that he’d hide his ‘She’s important to me’ inside.

Emery’s tumultuous emotions started to clash in his eyes, guilt drawing his brows together and making his gaze turn away, breath catching and holding around another shudder, this time of fear–fear of the threats closing in and the thought of being abandoned now when he’d come so close to not having to go through this alone, if Levi had to guess.

Now was the best time to present him with the choice in front of him, and press for an answer.

Levi’s grip tightened in Emery’s hair, pulling his head back to look at Levi more head on, and even though Emery’s eyes turned a bit more red as a result, Levi got a bit closer to further drive his point home.  “Either you do what she says, fight to survive, or you can stay here and wait to die.  You’re deciding, right now, so she knows if she needs to cut you loose, or can stay.”

The silence in the cave had a weight to it as Levi and Y/N waited to hear what Emery would say, the young man’s gaze searching Levi’s frantically and fearfully, red ebbing and flowing in his eyes like cresting and receding waves as he struggled with his decision, between his fear of abandonment and dying or his fear of taking life to survive.

Something gave way inside him, and a tear fell down his cheek.  Levi knew what his answer was before the kid even said it.

“...Okay…okay, I'll do it,” Emery whispered, voice rough and breaking.

Levi held his gaze, searching it intensely to make sure he really meant it.  “If you don't follow through this time, there won't be a second discussion.”

Emery nodded as much as he could with the grip Levi still had on his hair/head.  “I know.”

That was the best they were going to get for now.  They’d know if he really committed the next time she tried to teach him how to hunt, but for now…this would do.

He relented his grip on the young vampire’s hair, hand still hovering just above his head in case he needed to grab on again.  “Are you going to try and attack me again if I let you up?” Levi asked, ready to get up and move but wanting to make sure Emery wasn’t going to start lunging at him again if he did considering there was still red in Emery’s eyes, red that told them the bloodlust wasn’t entirely gone.

“I…I don’t think so…” Emery said, uncertain.  It wasn’t a great answer, but it was an honest one.  And if Emery couldn’t control himself on his own, Levi would just head back to the mouth of the cave in the sunlight.  He’d done okay restrained like this, though, had this whole conversation to adjust and get ahold of himself, to make sure he didn’t inhale through his nose and get overwhelmed by the scent of his blood.

That had been…enlightening, seeing how Emery reacted instinctively at the mere scent of his unspilled blood.

How the hell did he survive over twenty years in the Underground without becoming some vampire’s snack, again?

…or had he been, and he’d just been compelled to forget?

That wasn’t a thought he wanted to entertain, and certainly not right now.

Carefully, Levi started to ease off of Emery, letting go of the kid’s arm so it could fall back to Emery’s side while Levi shifted up and away, taking a few steps back to where Y/N had been standing and watching the whole conversation, keeping her promise to let him do his thing whether she liked it or not.

Between the now unrestrained vampire that had already tried to attack him in front of him and his concern that if he looked at her he’d see she was upset with how he’d treated Emery, he kept his gaze fixed forwards on Emery instead of looking at her for the time being.

Emery got back to his feet, one hand rubbing at the side of his face that Levi had pressed into the ground as he backed up several more steps, making sure there was a safe distance between the two of them.  Even in the shadows of the cave, Levi could still see that red glint in his eyes, but it was slight, much less than it had been when Levi first approached.

It also didn’t escape Levi’s attention that when Emery backed up, he stayed close to the light streaming into the cave’s entrance from the sun still, that he was close enough to stick his hand outside and burn himself to snap himself back to his senses if the bloodlust got too strong.

The kid was a quick learner, when he wanted to be.  Levi couldn’t fault him for not wanting to take life–the kid had a good heart.  The problem was…it was going to do more harm than good in their current situation.

Y/N would figure something out, once the kid got more control of himself.  She wasn’t going to leave this kid to collect the same high body count she’d collected during her forty-ish year struggle through figuring out her vampirism on her own.  She’d find him a way to hurt as few people as possible, to take as little life as possible.  It was just going to be messy, and take some time, and unfortunately, some people were still going to die in the meantime.

But he would trust her judgement when it came to that.  Now they just needed to see if Emery really would take responsibility for his own survival instead of trying to shove all the ugly parts of it onto Y/N.

Once Emery was steady on his feet again, taking slow and deep breaths to help keep himself under control–Levi did catch him leaning his arm into the sun once or twice when the red got a bit stronger in his eyes–Levi spoke up one more time, gesturing to Y/N standing beside him.

“Listen to her, and if you do your best not to put her in harm’s way, you and I won’t have a problem.”

Emery’s gaze slid to Y/N standing beside him, looking properly remorseful as he moved to take a step in her direction, then thought better of it given it would bring him closer to where Levi was standing, and it was pretty clear now that distance was the safest bet.

“I’m sorry…that you had to kill someone the other night for me,” Emery started, voice soft but sincere, shoulders hunched and head bowed.  “And I’m sorry that I’ve put you in danger.  I promise I’ll try harder from now on–follow the lessons you give me, and…and take responsibility for my own actions and survival.”

That was enough for Levi, he was certain it would be more than enough for her.

Y/N left Levi’s side, approaching Emery and putting a gentle hand on his shoulder, causing the kid’s gaze to turn back to her.

“We’ll get you through this, okay?  The first couple years are always the hardest,” she told him, her voice and words much more soothing and gentle than Levi’s had been.  “But if you listen, you don’t have to go through them alone.”

She left the, ‘and you might survive them,’ part unspoken.

Emery gave a small sigh of relief, nodding in silent answer to her encouragement and earning a small pat on his shoulder in response.  Levi crossed his arms over his chest, backing up another few steps so he could lean back against the wall of the cave.

“We need to talk about what to do about everyone after him,” Levi remarked, aiming his words more towards Y/N but including Emery in the conversation. 

Y/N turned to look at him, curiosity in her gaze considering he hadn’t actually warned her there might be more to discuss before they left–or brought this up to her at any point beforehand.  “I have a plan.  It's unpleasant, but it would get the military off him, at least. It won’t work on hunters, though.”

Y/N’s hand dropped away from Emery’s shoulder as she turned all the way around to face him, brows furrowing together and a slight frown tugging at the corners of her lips.  “What do you have in mind?”

“Let the MPs kill him.”

There were perhaps two beats of silence after his statement where the color drained from Emery’s face as the kid stared at him in shock.  Y/N…he could tell was contemplating it, but her expression was anything but pleased at the suggestion.

“...What?” Emery asked in a hoarse voice.

Unsure if Y/N had the discussion about ‘temporary deaths’ with Emery yet, he decided to expound a touch on what he meant before Emery could spiral into a full panic attack.

“Not permanently, obviously.  But if you die in a way that would kill a normal human at their hands, they’ll consider you taken care of and stop looking.  We can recover your body and bring you somewhere safe before you wake up.”  Levi tilted his head towards Y/N to indicate he was addressing her, specifically, again.  “Any hunters on his trail won’t buy it, though, if they’re already certain he’s a vampire.”

Y/N was worrying her bottom lip between her teeth, Levi keeping his steady gaze on her as he watched her wrestle with the plan he’d proposed before she sharply turned to an ill-looking Emery, eyes apologetic.

“He has a point.”

“But–!”

“The faster the military stops looking for you, the sooner they’ll forget about you, and the sooner you can blend back into society once you get in control of yourself.  And it would take care of half our problem.  No, it doesn’t solve the hunter issue, but…but it’ll mean no more of these patrols out looking for you everywhere.  It would take a bit more time and planning, we don’t have time to do everything we need to in order to pull that off properly right now, and I won’t lie, depending on how it goes, the temporary dying itself could be…unpleasant, but you’d be basically unconscious for nearly all of it, we’re the ones who would have to get you somewhere safe while you’re out, but do it in a way that no one catches onto anything suspicious–”

“Y/N,” Levi cut her off, prompting her to slightly turn to look back at him.  “You’re rambling.  That’s all shit for us to deal with later.”

Levi’s gaze turned back to Emery, who looked like he was going to faint.  “You can think on it.  She’ll come and give you an actual plan when we have one.  But we need to know if you’re willing to do it.”

Emery was frozen in place under Levi’s unwavering stare, possibly unnerved by how Levi phrased that last part considering the talk they’d just had about following what Y/N told him to survive.  “You…you’re asking me to, to die?” Emery asked haltingly, voice weak.

“Briefly,” Y/N corrected quickly.  “You’d wake up, ideally after we got you somewhere safe, and completely unharmed.  The hardest part will be making the ‘chance’ encounter look like chance…and that the dying itself could be…unpleasant, however brief it may be.  But you wouldn’t have nearly as much danger hanging over you anymore.”

Emery was shaking, understandably terrified if he hadn’t died again since he’d been turned.  “If…if you’re certain I’ll be okay, that I’ll wake up…and they won’t hunt me anymore…”

Y/N leaned into his line of vision, giving him a small, reassuring smile.  “Don’t think about it for now.  Just focus on what we’ve been working on, and let us figure out the details in the meantime, okay?”

“O-Okay.”

Once Emery consented to the tentative plan–or rather, the general idea of what they were aiming for–Levi pushed off the wall, heading for the mouth of the cave.

“Where’s he–?” Emery started to ask.

“That’s all he needed from you,” Y/N assured Emery before calling out to Levi.  “I’ll catch up in a moment.”

He didn’t answer–he didn’t need to.  He simply started to work his way back down the cliffs of the mountain and down to the forest floor.  She’d probably catch up to him before he even reached the bottom of the mountain, anyway.

*Reader’s POV*

You didn’t linger too long with Emery, knowing that you and Levi were actually on a fairly tight schedule with how soon Erwin wanted the two of you back.  Levi had said as you’d been approaching that the two of you would be finished within the hour, which had let you know he did not intend on being here with Emery long at all, and you didn’t want to slow the two of you down.

Still, you stayed long enough to make sure that Emery was okay despite how shaken he was, despite everything that had just been dumped on him at once and the…rough first meeting with Levi he’d just had.

He was far from okay, though he was trying desperately to put on his bravest face.  Understandably.  In the same conversation he’d been threatened with abandonment and a strong suggestion of inevitable death, had to accept he was going to have to kill people to survive and that it would start the next time he needed to feed, and been asked to die–temporarily–to solve only part of the problem of people hunting him.

Plus, he still seemed shaken by his complete loss of control at the start where he’d tried to attack Levi and had harmed you.  Your arms were all healed up by now, but the blood was still on his clothes and the cave floor as a testament of just how much damage he’d done in his brief blood haze.  At least it wasn’t the only change of clothes he’d had–you’d bought him multiple changes of clothes a while back in anticipation of him getting blood all over himself when you brought him hunting.

You’d tried to prepare him for this meeting, and it still hadn’t been enough once he was hit with the scent of Levi’s blood up close and personal, and he was still scared of himself in those moments, waiting until Levi had left in order to confide in you about the feelings that had taken over, the need to rip and tear and feast, and even a concerning desire to feel prey struggling beneath him.

The poor kid was terrified of what he felt inside him, and terrified of the thought of giving into it the next time he needed to feed–terrified of what he could become.

You were more worried about what he could become if you weren’t here to help him tame the monstrous side of himself before he went full blown ripper.

After many wiped tears and soothing words, the promise that he would be okay and that he needed to rest for now and you would talk more in depth about all of this when you came to see him next and Levi wasn’t around and waiting on you, after more apologies from Emery for failing you and harming you and trying to hurt Levi and assurances that as long as he tried next time then it was already forgiven, you took your leave.

You made quick work of the mountain cliffs, nimbly landing on one ledge after another with greater speed since you were descending on your own.  The breeze carried the scent of mint, soap, and tea towards you, letting you know that Levi wasn’t too terribly far ahead of you–he probably hadn’t even made it back to the glade, yet.

Good–maybe the two of you could talk a bit before you had to head for the town barracks.  You weren’t going to get special treatment there, and you weren’t going to have privacy if they stuck you in bunk rooms.

Considering Levi was an officer, even if the Scouts were looked down on…hopefully not.  You hadn’t needed to bunk with anyone in a while, and you’d rather not have to bunk in a room with soldiers from other branches that weren’t so friendly to the Scouts.

In the next few moments, you caught sight of Levi up ahead through the trees, able to easily catch back up to him, especially since he slowed down slightly once he heard you coming.  Neither of you said anything at first, simply walking in silence through the woods, the shadows of the trees lengthening as the sun started setting and the sky turned from blue to a burning palette of colors.

Oh, if you were good with paints, the drawing you could capture in full color with this kind of scenery…

Levi continued to not say anything, which wasn’t entirely out of the normal for him, but he also seemed a bit more…withdrawn, than normal, and he wasn’t looking at you, either–like he hadn’t looked at you all throughout him talking to Emery while he had him pinned, and hadn’t looked at you when he’d initially backed off, either.  He didn’t reach out to try and touch your hand, though he wasn’t putting distance between the two of you and was allowing you to walk close enough to his side it would have been easy to simply brush against your shoulder.

He wasn’t mad at you–he had no reason to be, and that was a different kind of withdrawn, as you were unfortunately familiar with now.  You knew he’d been concerned about this talk in a different way than you had been, though.  He’d kept asking that you let him handle it his way, that you not intervene, that you let it play out, and the slightly more closed off attitude now, not wanting to look at you…

Was he worried that you might be mad at him for how he treated Emery?  It wasn’t pleasant watching him be rough with the kid while Emery was still in such a volatile and fragile emotional state, and admittedly, you’d wanted to tell him to ease up a few times, but…

You knew he could have done much, much worse.  He was still pretty gentle with Emery, all things considered, aware when something was out of Emery’s control–like the bloodlust–and not insensitive to the fact that they were still talking about taking human life, and that wasn’t a simple, cut and dry thing.  But the situation was complicated, and with the options you had right now, Emery needed to take life to survive if you were going to help him, otherwise…

You let out a sigh, soft and slow through your nose, head tilted back to look up at the canopy of golden setting sunlight filtering through the trees.  This was all stuff you’d already discussed with Levi.  You were on the same page about Emery’s feeding situation and what he needed to be doing if you were going to help him.  If Levi was worried, he wasn’t worried about what you’d already talked about.  He would be worried about how you felt about his methods.

You tilted your head to the side so you could glance back at Levi out of the corner of your eyes, leaning slightly closer so your shoulders and hands brushed together, pinky and ring finger curling loosely around his pointer and middle finger, admittedly relieved when you felt his fingers twitch instinctively to curl around yours in response, though there was a bit more hesitance there than normal.

“Levi…?” you asked him gently, slowing down in your walking pace and forcing him to slow down with you.  He finally turned to look at you when you’d nearly come to a full stop, and after hearing that there was no anger or frustration in your voice.

You took a step closer once he was facing you, twining your hand more fully into his own and leaning in to press a soft kiss to his cheek.  His fingers laced tighter into yours, and you heard the softest exhale that sounded like relief before you even pulled away to speak.

“Thank you,” you told him sincerely, waiting until you met his gaze again to speak.  You could see the tension in his shoulders relax slightly at the statement, and knew you’d been right in assuming he’d been worried you might be mad.  You still wanted to be honest, but you were going to make sure he understood you weren’t mad at him, either.

“I might not have liked…seeing you be rough with him, but he needed the push, and I’m still grateful that you got him to agree to try–whether he follows through or not,” you told him softly.  You gave his hand another small squeeze.  “Thank you.”

Levi’s eyes–a steelier blue in the setting sunlight–were studying you, as if making sure that you really weren’t angry with him, or that it wasn’t going to come back and bite him in the ass later in some way if you were just shoving down your anger.  You didn’t look away, letting him reassure himself and see for himself that you weren’t mad at him.  Apparently satisfied and relieved by what he saw, Levi looked away, a soft, short sigh escaping him as his hand tugged you forwards with him to get you to keep walking with him towards the glade where you’d left your horses.

“I know how important him getting better is to you.  But you being where you are now is important, too.”

The little smile that played across your lips was just for you, head ducked low for a moment as warmth seeped through your chest at his words, the unspoken extra meaning you read between the lines as the two of you walked in now comfortable silence back to the glade.

Staying right here with you is important to me, too.

Considering the two of you weren’t Garrison soldiers, you were given a small two bed room in the Garrison barracks to stay in when you reached Kempton fairly late into the night.  No one had wanted to deal with the two Scouts arriving long after the sun had set for the day, so there wasn’t much fuss–they’d simply been shown to the room and left to their own devices.  The two of you lost another hour or so with the cleaning to get the small room in a more habitable state for both of you, and you’d both agreed to leave the window open to let the room breathe more.  After that, neither of you stripped out of your uniforms, but after a whole day of travel and the cleaning and not being familiar with this barrack’s layout–or willing to discover what state the communal washroom would be in–you both collapsed into your respective spots to try and catch a couple hours of sleep, at least.

Well, you collapsed into the standard issue not very comfortable bed, after shrugging off your jacket, pulling off your boots, and freeing yourself from the harness straps, setting everything but the boots as neatly as you could on the desk with your ODM gear.  Once it was all out of the way and neatly set aside so you were certain Levi wouldn’t scold you for being messy, then you flopped onto the bed, arms tucked under the pillow and head turned to the side so you could still breathe, burrowing into the bed without crawling under the sheets.

Levi kept even his ODM gear on, turning the desk chair out to face the room as a whole, more specifically the door, and promptly positioned himself in the chair with an ankle propped up on his knee and arms crossed over his chest.

You didn’t hear or see anything else about what Levi was doing–beside’s a soft ‘Tch’ after you flopped onto the bed–mostly because it didn’t take you long at all to fall asleep, thankfully…

“Oi…oi.  No sleeping in–we’ve got shit to do today, and not long to do it.  Get up.”

Despite the more abrasive words, the touch that went alongside them was gentle, and helped your rousing to consciousness happen a bit smoother.  His hand was on your head, warm and heavy, fingers threading through your hair and gently moving your head around to ‘shake’ you awake, thankfully not pulling your hair in the process.  When you started to wake, his hand pulled away, hair slipping free of his fingers and falling into your face as you raised your head to squint blearily at him getting back to his feet beside your bed, already set to go, and with the usual shadows under his eyes suggesting he either slept very little last night or not at all.

“You’ve still got to get your shit back on, so hurry up.  I’ll find out where we’re going and meet you out front,” Levi informed you as you pushed up onto your elbows, rubbing at your eyes to try and wipe the sleepy blur away.

“Mm-kay…” you murmured.  Levi only lingered long enough to make sure that you were actually going to get up before he took his leave to go figure out where the two of you were headed, exactly.

You couldn’t blame him for the brevity–he may have been awake all night for all you knew, and again, Erwin wanted you back as soon as possible.  There was still the return journey to factor in as well.

He was right.  You needed to get up and moving, and this day needed to start so you could get back to headquarters for whatever it was that had Erwin trying to play it safe and keep you and Levi close at hand.

When considering the state of the refugees you were about to see, it hadn’t crossed your mind that perhaps, farther away from the southern territories, farther away from the territories that had feared being hit next, refugees would be receiving far worse treatment.  If anything, you had mistakenly thought that perhaps farther from the southern areas that most of the refugees had congregated after the wall fell, there might be less struggle over resources and less harsh conditions, a bit more to go around than there was in southern Rose.

You had been woefully mistaken to assume such a thing.

Levi, being the officer between the two of you, was getting official updates from the military leaders in the area, hearing their viewpoints on the situation, and getting briefed on incidents they’d had–including, you had briefly heard, a vague update about the thorough sweep they were doing for Emery.  For the most part, these discussions kept him out of the packed throngs, out of the thick of the worst of what the two of you were there to bear witness to, though even though he was occupied with the Garrison leadership for this area, you could feel his eyes keeping track of you, noticed that no matter how far you moved, Levi moved his conversations naturally as well so he could always be within a decent range of where you were, you could always hear him, always knew where he was.

You, on the other hand–you went to walk among the packed refugees, trying to see if there was anything you could do to help, anything you could hand out, anyone you could get help for.  And in the process you saw some…rather awful sights.

Since the two of you had arrived at this particular refugee housing in the morning, a good swath of the able bodied were out working the fields in the morning shift.  Those that were still in the now-depleted and used for housing storehouse you were now picking your way through were either those who could not work the fields, or those that would work the afternoon, evening shift.

People here were starving, their sunken eyes tracking you with envy that tended to turn seething when they saw the crest on your uniform marking you as a Scout, enough anger in their gazes to make you uncomfortable even knowing you were perfectly capable of defending yourself.  Some were in a far worse state than others, and it didn’t take long to notice the pattern and figure out that the ones that seemed like they weren’t withering away as quickly were the ones that were still able to work–those that could still earn their rations.  Those that couldn’t…

You wish it had only been once, but there had been a couple times you’d found someone lying still and withered away in a corner or just entirely overlooked in the masses you were trying to walk around, realizing there were no heartbeats, no breaths, and that some of the people who couldn’t work had wasted away and died with either nobody noticing or nobody caring.  More than once, you had to get the attention of some Garrison soldiers to help you remove a body for proper burial so they didn’t continue to rot away amongst the still living and cause disease to run rampant in the already cramped spaces.

It feels like I’m back in the Underground.

As much as you wanted to help, as much as you wished you had something to give, you didn’t have the one thing they needed the most–food.  You didn’t have any on you, there clearly wasn’t enough to go around out here, so all you could do was look at the envious or angry faces and pick out the bodies that needed removal before people started getting sick on top of everything else.

This can’t keep going like this.  People are wasting away to nothing and there’s just…not enough to help everyone.  Places are already neglecting those that can’t work, starting to let those that just aren’t able bodied die rather than use up rations on them.  And even then, the workers are still barely getting enough to scrape by, I doubt the rations they’re getting are sustainable…

Across the courtyard you were standing in, raised voices abruptly cut through the miserable hum of all the people crammed together in the small space–a space that would have twice as many people shoved into it come nighttime.  Your attention was drawn to the noise noting that it seemed the morning shift was starting to come back and the afternoon shift was about to head out, people starting to shuffle in and out of the entrances.  The disturbance itself had broken out between two men that the crowd was trying to give a wide berth to avoid being caught in the conflict, most of the masses trying to move around them so that they could get to earning their rations or come back to rest after a shift that had likely started before dawn.

There was a lot of conversation happening around you, a lot of noise, and you had been half listening to the conversation Levi was having about how they’d been trying to move some of the refugees to different parts of Rose to try and lighten their burden here, but had been unable to find a place that could afford to take them.  As such, the argument wasn’t entirely clear with how far away you were, but you were able to at least figure out that the fight was over an afternoon shift worker that had tried to take the spot of a morning shift worker while they were out in the field.  Something petty, especially since the afternoon worker was supposed to be getting ready to leave now, but it was getting loud and rowdy, and it seemed like it was about to escalate to blows.  So, you did your best to move with the current of the crowd to get over to the two brawlers and try to help break it up before it escalated into a much bigger conflict with far more pissed off people that would be beyond the ability of the Garrison to control.

You got shoulder checked a few times by angry refugees as you maneuvered your way through the crowd to the two that were arguing, but you ignored it, taking the aggression in stride and staying focused on the more important matter at hand.  By the time you reached the pair, it had escalated to blows, and two other Garrison soldiers were also arriving on the scene from different points in the crowd.  The mousy brunette threw a punch at the blonde that sent the blonde reeling into the crowd, earning a shout of anger as the blonde was pushed back towards the brunette.  You lunged inside the tiny space that had been cleared in the effort of the crowd to try and avoid the fight, grabbing the blonde and hauling them up with your strength before they could reconnect with the brunette’s fist, while the two Garrison soldiers grabbed onto either arm of the brunette to help in pulling the two away from each other.

The one you’d grabbed, however–you didn’t know who was who in the conflict, who was the morning worker and who was the afternoon worker, but to you, it didn’t quite matter, you just needed the fight broken up–apparently decided he was going to take a much bigger issue with you than the brunette he’d just been sent reeling by, or even the member of the general crowd that had shoved him.  At first, he just struggled because he was being kept from fighting the brunette–he didn’t have anywhere near the strength to break free from your grip, even if he had been properly fed.  However, when in the midst of his shouting and twisting to let him go he spotted the crest on your uniform, the situation changed to something else entirely, and it was a much deeper anger that simmered in his eyes once he realized you were a Scout.

“You!” he seethed, enough venom emanating from him that you were momentarily taken aback by it, even if you’d been enduring the angry envious stares the whole time you’d been here.  “One of those fucking waste of rations?  We’re over here busting our asses for scraps, what the fuck are you doing to eat so well?  Nothing!”

You were also unprepared when halfway through his rant he suddenly bucked backwards, purposely trying to do some kind of damage to you now instead of the brunette.  Your reflexes were fast enough to keep him from nailing you in the nose, but with the fact you were also restraining him from behind, he still got you in the mouth with the back of his head.  You felt your lip split and blood suddenly well up in your mouth, sucking your lip in to try and hide the injury so no one would notice when it rapidly healed.  Still, the man continued his tirade, now trying to swing and hit and do some kind of damage since he’d caught you off guard and connected in one of his hits, and you couldn’t exactly let him go when you were trying to restrain him.

“What the fuck are the Scouts doing for humanity besides getting themselves eaten and wasting food that could go to people that actually earn it!  Why do you get to eat so fucking well while the rest of us are fucking starving?”

Around you, you could hear the sentiment being echoed by the crowd, could feel the anger that had been bubbling around you starting to rise to a boiling point, hear more people getting louder about their anger about the soldiers they saw as freeloaders and wastes of resources in times like this.  

Suddenly, you felt like you were in the middle of a pot you’d known was being heated up to a boil but hadn’t gotten out fast enough and was now sitting in water that was going to boil over and drown you in it if you didn’t find a way out of the pot.  You were suddenly painfully aware that you were the lone scout in a crowd of starving, desperate refugees being whipped into a fury, and the Garrison did not have enough love for the Scouts to put their necks on the line to help you, especially if they’re own people were suffering from the food shortage, not just the refugees.  And you didn’t have the tools or words to diffuse the situation.

What were you going to do, tell him you didn’t eat?  That your rations went to double up someone else’s meals?  Of course not.  You also couldn’t tell them that you were working, that you all weren’t just sitting around doing nothing, that you were trying to do something, wanted to do something, and in your case there had been a lot going on behind the scenes that no one else could ever know about.  You wanted to defend yourself, to prove him wrong–especially considering you’d come to the Scouts so that people weren’t sustaining you with their lives for you to just survive and do nothing with your life and abilities.

But you also knew that these people were desperate, starving, watching people dying around them, crammed into too tight of spaces that weren’t supposed to be lived inside of in the first place, falling ill, not getting enough food to properly survive on even when they worked for it, and to the public, especially because you hadn’t been able to be set loose yet, the Scouts really did seem like a waste of resources, especially in times like this, when the Scouts were on hold and weren’t being allowed to go outside yet so all they could do was wait–

These people didn’t care about politics, or if you wanted to make a difference, or if you didn’t believe the Scouts were worthless and thought they could do the greatest good for humanity if given the right tools.

They wanted to eat, to survive, and find a way to crawl out of this hell they’d found themselves trapped in and somewhere better and at the moment they just couldn’t do it and they were caged and desperate and dying.

Something you understood perfectly.

So you had no argument to give.  All you could do was hold onto the man that was still trying to do as much damage as possible, trying to ram his head into your face again, trying to stomp on your feet or elbow you in the ribs, anything.

The Garrison soldiers that had grabbed his brunette opponent had already hauled him out of the small cleared space, leaving you alone in the now much smaller clearing that was closing back up with the throng.

Out, I need to get out now!

You had seen a crowd in panic when Maria fell, while you were evacuating towns.  You had seen small crowds turn into mobs when people were angry enough, both Underground and in smaller scales during the evacuation and in smaller clusters amongst the southern located refugees.  This situation was about to turn sour, and even though you knew it wouldn’t kill you, you couldn’t exactly explain away a very public death trampled or suffocated or bludgeoned in an angry mob, and your instincts were telling you that you needed to get out of this situation right now.

Trying to get a good enough grip on your struggling captive turned assailant, you tried to decide the best course to ditch the man that had turned his hostility onto you and to move through the crowd that was also turning hostile on you with the least damage, both arms occupied and head moving back and to the side to avoid another backwards headbutt when someone from the crowd through something metal, hollow, small–you weren’t sure what it was, but it was sharp enough you felt it cut into the back of your head, felt blood quickly making your hair turn damp as pain lanced through the back of your head where you’d been hit.

All it took was one.  You needed to bolt.  Now.

No longer caring about strategy so much as survival, you twisted and threw your weight into a shove that sent the blonde you’d been restraining towards the throng in one direction as you ducked your head barely in enough time to avoid another thrown object that nailed a different citizen in the face, causing more shouts to break out, shoving, more throwing–

You were ducked low, trying to disappear into the throng and get to the exit as fast as possible, one hand covering the spot at the back of your head you’d been hit, trying to ignore how tight and cramped the space felt, the difficulty breathing, how similar it felt to the cramped dark suffocating space you’d been trapped in forty years ago–

You didn’t know how far into the crowd you’d gotten, how close to the exit you may have been, but suddenly a hand wrapped around your wrist, seeming to reach out through the crowd and trying to pull you through it all. 

You almost fought back, thinking someone had noticed the Scout trying to slip away in the confusion that you could hear turning into a full on bloody brawl in the space you’d left behind, but you recognized those slender fingers, the calluses from years of gripping knives and then hard ODM gear use, the strong and reassuring way they wrapped familiarly around your wrist and were now trying to guide you safely through the throng, to make sure now that there was a grip on you, that the two of you weren’t going to get separated.

Now knowing that you weren’t about to get attacked and that it was Levi trying to help guide you both out of the crowd and to safety, between his guided tugging and your following through the mess of people, you were both able to quickly get to the edges of the crowd.  You could hear shouting and yelling picking up, the crowd having turned from going to work or coming back to work to now turning inward on itself as a massive fight broke out, Garrison soldiers shouting and trying to get the mob back under control, most likely in vain.

“We’ve seen enough.  We’re heading back.  Now,” Levi said, your sharper hearing able to distinguish his firm voice despite all the noise and the fact that he didn’t raise it to be heard.

You didn’t argue, didn’t question if the two of you should stay and try and help contain the mob.  You’d just seen firsthand that the people were at their breaking point and the Scouts were one of the easiest targets for their rage.  The two of you staying to try and get the situation under control would likely just make things worse and inflame a situation that was already trying to turn explosive.

You already knew the tone of the report Erwin was going to be getting from the two of you about this side mission to check on the refugees.  It wasn’t even really about public opinion of the Scouts right now.

The people were reaching their breaking point, and something needed to be done to fix the situation, or it was going to turn into something much larger that was going to blow up in everyone’s faces if it was left to spiral any further.

Next Chapter---->

(Strikethroughs couldn't be tagged)

Everything Tags:   @antistellxr 

Levi Tags:  @clary-quinn @ayatosmlktea @whalerus @sunny-flo @thirstyforsometea @hauntedhousecat @peaches-and-clouds @imaginationmess @wubbawubwub04 @lollobos @pasteldays @itsmeaudriee @macaronnv @tokyo-banana @apuci-kis-szornye @momowantscats @yellowminb @ashikothedog @notgoodforlife @spnwinchestersd @xxdarkdarlingxx @joy-the-reader

The whir echoing through the parking lot grew louder, turning into a grating whine.  The dim red glow under the snow brightened, flickered, puttered out before lighting up bright and alarming.

Rebooting...Rebooting...Rebooting...

A cough.  Sputtering, choked, fresh blue soaking into white.

The snow was disturbed from where it had settled hours ago as limbs moved, choppily bracing against the ground before pushing up with a groan.

Warning:  System Failure Imminent.  Warning:  System Failure Imminent.  Warning:  System Failure Imminent.  Warning:  System Failure Imminent.

Thirium struggled to flow through damaged systems, leaking through the holes and breaks in the very wiring that was supposed to keep it in.  Inner components struggled to work after exposure to the cold for hours, grinding and groaning with the effort, occasionally seizing before being pushed forward by sheer will.

Thirium Levels low.  Warning:  System Failure Imminent.  Biocomponents Damaged.  Warning:  System Failure Imminent.

Arms tried to drag a struggling body forward, but the parts wouldn’t cooperate with the will, only moving enough to prop up on locked elbows.

“He...help...”

The synthesized voice broke through the quiet of the parking lot, choked out by more thirium streaming to the ground over trembling lips.

Again.

“Help!”

Warning: System Failure Imminent.

“Help!”

LED flickered, dimming--limbs slowly lowering back to the ground.

Not yet...not yet...

“Help...”  A strained whisper.

Footfalls.  Voices.  Muddled as the non-vital components started to shut down, power diverting to the parts needed to continue operating.  Optical units were one of those already shut down, but someone could still be heard approaching.

“Holy shit--”

“This was fairly recent--”

“He’s still alive!  How the hell--”

“He still has something to live for.  Help me with him--”

“We need to move fast, or he won’t make it--”

He was being moved.  Arms wrapped around him, hands grasping to help support, snow and thirium slipping to the ground.

He’s still alive, they’d said, whoever they were.

He’s still alive.

I am alive.

*Hank POV*

Day 1

Hank was on his feet, pacing slowly in the waiting room.  Even though Connor’s sacrifice got you to the emergency room, your condition was volatile.  You hadn’t woken up, you had crashed twice already, you’d already been in and out of the surgery room three or four times, and the doctors weren’t very optimistic about your chances.  All Hank could do was pace and wait, since he was worried about what he would miss if he left.  It had been a stressful first day, and he hadn’t even dealt with what had happened to Connor yet.

Hank’s phone started ringing in his pocket.  A quick look gave him an unwelcome name.

Fowler.

He’d already ignored his calls for the first half of the day, he might as well answer now.  If he pushed the guy too far, he might lose his badge.  Besides, usually Fowler knew to give up if Hank hadn’t answered by now.  If he was still calling, it might be something important.

Hank’s voice was sharp as he finally answered.  “What?”

“For fuck’s sakes, Hank, why the hell haven’t you answered your goddamn phone?” Fowler yelled.  The frown that had been on Hank’s face for hours by now deepened into a full-fledged scowl.

“She’s still at the hospital, and her conditions unstable, where the fuck do you think I’ve been, Jeffrey?” Hank barked back.

“I’ve been trying to get ahold of you for hours--Cyberlife wants to know where the hell their android is, and I’m tired of them riding my ass for your fuck up!”

Hank paused.  “Where their--what d’you mean, where their android is?  I told you, Connor was lying right where we found them!”

“Well apparently you weren’t paying attention, cause it’s not there now, and Cyberlife is pissed!  Are you sure it was destroyed?”

“I’m pretty fucking sure, Jeffrey!  He was pumped full of bullets and his LED wasn’t on--not to mention all the blue blood all over the place was his.  There was no way in hell he was still alive!”

“Well then how the fuck do you explain it not being there when Cyberlife went to recover what was left?”

“Maybe they should have gotten out their faster?” Hank suggested in an acidic voice.  “If they took their sweet time finding Connor, someone else might have got there first and scavenged him.”

The thought made Hank sick, but it was the only explanation he could come up with for why Connor wasn’t still out there.  He’d seen the android--he’d been destroyed.

“That android better show up in the next 48 hours, or you’re dealing with this mess, Hank, not me!” Fowler snapped, hanging up the phone before Hank could yell at him any more.

“Ghaa!” Hank fumed, barely resisting the urge to pitch the phone.  As if the entire situation hadn’t been fucked up already.

Hank looked back in the direction the doctors kept appearing to give him updates on your situation.  He needed to figure out what had happened to Connor, but...it would have to wait until your situation stabilized somewhat.

He wouldn’t be able to forgive himself if he left and something happened to you.

*Undisclosed Location*

“I’m going to need more thirium.  And do we have any 9428v components?”

“No.  Have you fixed the--”

“I’ve already done everything I can for the thirium flow, we need to replace some of these damaged components if he’s going to make it off this table.”

Footsteps.  A new voice.

“You said you found someone?”

“Yeah--he was lying in the snow, barely alive, but he was definitely trying to hold on.”

The footsteps moved closer.  A pause.

“I know who this is...why didn’t you tell me earlier?”

“You were gone, and he needed attention--”

“This is the deviant hunter.”

Silence.

Then, quietly, “He needs help.”

“You’re always telling us to be better than them.  Now’s our chance.”

“You don’t understand, if he wakes up, we’re all dead.”

“We can’t just let him die, either!  It’s not right!”

“What should we do?”

Silence, again.  Longer this time.

“What does he need?”

A soft sigh of relief.  A noise of frustration.

“Thirium, obviously.  Some biocomponents, a replacement for that leg.  He’s highly advanced, though, we won’t find some of these parts at your everyday Cyberlife warehouse or store.”

“We can’t help him, then--that solves the problem.”

“I never said we couldn’t help him...”

“...It’ll just be dangerous.  The stupid kind of dangerous.”

“Or suicidal.”

“What should we do?”

*Hank’s POV*

Day 3

Dead ends.  Busts, false leads, and dead ends was all Hank’s investigation had gotten him, and he was shit out of luck.  Jeffrey would be trying to reach him again at any moment now, demanding Hank deal with the heat from Cyberlife for losing their advanced prototype.

He’d honestly tried to find out what happened to Connor, but by the time he got to the crime scene again, the snow had covered any possible tracks, and the thirium had disappeared long before his arrival.  He couldn’t see any tracks to follow, or any sign of a third party, or that Connor had miraculously gotten up and walked off on his own.

Though if Connor survived, Hank was sure he would have showed up by now.  It was because he hadn’t returned, and because Hank had seen him and known he was dead, that he’d ruled out the possibility of Connor still being alive.

At the moment, however, Hank firmly believed the investigation could go fuck itself.  You’d crashed again, and were once more in emergency surgery.  From the way the doctors were talking, they were just about ready to give up.  As a result, Hank was once more in the waiting room, Sitting firmly planted in an uncomfortable chair, leaning forward with eyes staring blankly at the ground in front of him.

The entire situation felt too much like what had happened to Cole.

This part of the hospital was particularly busy--it was Detroit.  People got injured all the time.  They were numerous enough that Hank had grown used to ignoring all the bustle and started to only respond when it was a doctor approaching him about your status.  The rest of the time he could effectively ignore everyone else.

So it was that he didn’t hear the footsteps or see the figure walking carefully towards him.

He did, however, hear the voice loud and clear.

“Lieutenant?”

Hank’s head snapped up, followed quickly by the rest of him as his shock propelled him to his feet.

“What the fuck?”

It was Connor.  In once piece.  Standing in front of him like nothing had happened.

Well, that wasn’t entirely true.  Connor’s clothes still looked disheveled, his tie was missing, his shoes looked like secondhand sneakers instead of his usual dress shoes, and there was a clear bullet hole in his pant leg.  The only reason he wasn’t soaked in blood--at least visibly--had to be the whole thirium disappearing after a few hours thing.  And considering the bullet hole in his pant leg, Hank was almost positive if he looked there would be bullet holes in the back of his jacket.

Hank would have asked if it was just some replacement sent by Cyberlife if he couldn’t see the serial number on his jacket and all the evidence that this was the very same Connor that he’d seen destroyed the other night.

“How the hell are you here?  I saw you--you were dead!”  Hank’s disbelief was obvious as he strode up to the android, taking all of him in.  Aside from the clothes, he looked...different.  Something had changed.

“Not yet, Lieutenant.  I had to reboot my systems--it took a few hours,” Connor said carefully.

“So you just...what, walked off without telling anyone?” Hank asked, feeling a surge of anger at the thought.

“No.  I didn’t walk anywhere,” Connor said vaguely.

Hank leaned back, appraising Connor closely.  The android was usually painfully specific, not frustratingly concise.

“Someone helped you?” Hank prodded.

“Yes.”

When Connor didn’t elaborate, Hank leaned in, eyebrows raised.  “Well?  Who was it, who helped you?”

Connor actually hesitated.  “I’m afraid I can’t tell you that, Lieutenant.”

That was a surprise.

“You can’t tell me, huh?” Hank echoed, watching Connor closely.  The android stared right back, but with hard determination in his eyes.

He wasn’t going to budge.  He wasn’t going to breathe a word of who had helped him.

It sure as hell hadn’t been Cyberlife.  So whoever had helped him...very likely had broken quite a few laws in doing so.

“Can’t or won’t?” Hank asked, watching Connor’s expression carefully.

Connor remained silent, but Hank saw that determination in his eyes harden.

In other words, he knew, but he wasn’t going to tell.

Atta boy.

“All right...well, what matters is that you’re here now, right?” Hank said carefully, backing away.  Connor watched him closely, almost like he didn’t think Hank was just going to drop the subject just like that.

But he was.  For now, anyway, since Connor was clearly protecting someone.

Connor looked down the hall in the direction the doctors were currently in surgery with you again.  “It’s been three days--how is she?” he asked.

“She’s still alive, but...the doctor’s aren’t too optimistic.  She’s been in and out of surgery, she’s in a coma...they say it was a miracle she made it to the hospital in the first place.  You wouldn’t happen to know something about that, would you?”

Connor’s LED flashed red so quickly Hank wasn’t entirely sure he’d actually seen it.  Again, Connor remained silent.

He’s not going to talk about what happened.

Connor remained fixed in place for a few painfully long moments before he broke the silence that had settled between the two of them, his LED blinking yellow.

“Do you think she’s going to be all right, Lieutenant?”

Hank leaned back in his seat.  “Whatever you did out there helped, Connor.  But I think the only thing we can do for her right now is hope she makes it.”

*Connor POV*

Connor didn’t move again until the doctor approached them, an android nurse following close behind.  Since Connor hadn’t torn his gaze from the hallway, he saw them coming first.

It felt like his gut was twisting itself up in knots, throat tightening as he fixed the cuffs of his ruined jacket.

Somewhere in the far back of his mind he had the thought that he’d need replacement clothes, and he’d have to come up with an explanation for Cyberlife, but he didn’t let his thoughts wander much beyond that, because the doctor was approaching them, and all of his focus right now was on you, not Cyberlife and his own current situation, you.

“How is she?” Connor asked before Hank could even finish rising from his seat.  The doctor gave Connor an odd look, then turned his attention back to Hank, addressing the Lieutenant over Connor.

“Her condition is getting worse.  At this point, there’s really nothing we can do for her, except perhaps an experimental treatment.  But the chances of success for the treatment are far too slim for me to confidently suggest it.

“What’s her chance of survivability if she has the treatment?” Connor asked sharply, though this time he was addressing the android nurse specifically.

“Eleven percent,” the android promptly answered.

“Is there any way to increase those chances, even marginally?” Connor pressed almost as soon as the android finished answering his first question.

“Certain situational adjustments could increase chance of survivability, but not by much.”

“Not enough for me to change my mind that it’s not a good idea,” the doctor said sternly.  Hank, however, was looking at Connor.

“What do you think, Connor?”

Connor looked sharply at the Lieutenant, an intense purpose in his eyes.  “She had a two percent chance of survival in the parking lot before I made situational adjustments, eight percent before I was...interrupted.  Her odds of surviving with this treatment are better than her odds for making it out of that parking lot alive were.”

Something flashed in Hank’s eyes at Connor’s statement, though Connor couldn’t quite gauge the emotion he was displaying on his features before Hank turned back to the doctor.

He was the only human here at the hospital to speak for you, so the decision was his.

“Do the treatment, then.”

Next Part --->

*Levi’s POV*

Levi stayed throughout the night.

He could have gone back to his room after she fell asleep, made sure there wasn’t any chance for one of them to be caught spending the night in the other’s room, but he decided tonight could be an exception.

Besides, he was comfortable where he was, basking in her warmth and the feeling of her resting over his heart, his hand at her side feeling the steady rise and fall of her chest beneath his fingers…she’d fallen asleep so quickly when she was curled up next to him like that, he didn’t want to risk waking her up trying to untangle himself from her.

He didn’t fall asleep in part because he didn’t want to soil the peace of the moment with the nightmares that would no doubt be waiting for him if he did allow himself to fall asleep.  He was still resting, still settled into the silence of the room with her and relaxing into their embrace, he just didn’t sleep, not really.  At most, he might have started to doze here and there, caught between the waking and sleeping worlds.

The fact Y/N kept waking up from nightmares was the other half of the reason he didn’t sleep.  There were periods of time when she was falling back asleep where it would be calm and quiet, and Levi would start to doze near the end, feel his eyelids grow heavy and his vision blurring as his focus on the room around them slipped.

But then her legs would twitch, her hands would clench and unclench, head twitching as if she was looking around, small noises slipping past her lips…

He knew she was going to abruptly wake long before she did, and it would pull him out of his sleepier state and back into the present, already seeking to soothe her before she even finished waking up.  He’d thread his fingers back into hers in a reassuring grip, gently smooth the hair from her face before resting his hand on her head, keeping her held securely against him so that when she woke with a full body start as if she was about to lurch into action, she would find herself already grounded and safe in his arms, far from the danger, blood, and screams that were no doubt haunting her sleep.

She didn’t fall asleep as easily after a nightmare.  She’d hold him tighter, bury her face in his chest–sometimes he’d feel the slip of tears rubbed from her eyes and onto his chest, but he didn’t say anything about it–and work on steadying her breathing, keeping her eyes closed.  They didn’t say anything, she didn’t share what her nightmares were about–they didn’t need to.  They both knew.  If Levi had been sleeping, he was certain he would have been suffering from similar nightmares.

While she worked on calming down and slipping back into sleep, Levi would keep an eye on the room around them, keeping watch to help put her fears to rest until she felt secure enough to fall back asleep.

No matter how many times she startled awake, she kept her hand resting over his heart with her head nestled right next to it, curled up and letting the beating of his heart lull her back to sleep.

He couldn’t have peeled her off him even if he’d tried, though it was the last thing he wanted.  He was savoring this, the sensation of not being alone on one of the bloody nights, the peace he would never have found tonight on his own, the way having her close to him like this made him feel, the way having her fall asleep to the beat of his heart made him feel like…

He couldn’t pin down a word to describe it.  Light, like he would float away?  Warm–she always made him feel warm and comfortable, but this was special, this was something else.  Bright in his heart didn’t make sense and yet for some reason it did at the same time.

Whatever it was, the feeling in his chest at that moment, he wasn’t going to disturb it or cut it short.  He stayed right there beside her the whole night, dozing in the comfortable quiet and keeping watch over her and helping lull her back to sleep when the nightmares returned, long after the lamplight went out on it’s own from a lack of fuel and no one tending to it, until he started to hear the birdsong and the darkness outside her window started to brighten with the approaching dawn.

Now was about the time that he would normally start moving around for the day, but she was still passed out asleep on him with no signs of waking up yet.  Considering her sleep had been rocky with periods of waking between spells of sleep, he didn’t exactly want to wake her up, and he didn’t like the thought of her waking to find him gone after he’d promised he’d stay.

He could stay longer.  If someone went looking for him and didn’t find him in his office, they’d assume he was out and about getting things done for the day–it would be a long time before anyone thought to check Y/N’s room.

He hoped.

Lifting the arm that wasn’t in any way restricted with her lying atop him, Levi gently brushed her hair back from her face, keeping his touch light so it wouldn’t disturb her, and letting his fingers thread deeper back into her hair in the process, taking the time to feel the smooth slip of her hair–softer than normal so soon after a bath– between his fingers as his eyes roamed her sleeping features.  His gaze traced the outline of her eyes, the curve of her nose, the soft lines of her parted lips allowing the gentle breaths to breeze gently across his skin.

She was beautiful…in every way.

His arm tightened slightly around her, holding her a touch closer to him, fingers brushing against the smooth skin of her side.  His mind immediately started to recall the feel of her straddling his leg, the little noise in the back of her throat that had built to an audible, breathy groan as his lips worked their way around her throat, her body arching into him while his hands felt the curves once he couldn’t recall places to trace scars anymore, the smooth warmth so soft and pliable beneath his hands–

No, stop, not right now–

Levi blinked a few more times than he needed to, as if shaking the thoughts free of his mind by doing so.  Now was definitely not the time for those kinds of memories and thoughts.  Today was going to be a busy day once she woke and he got moving–he had his report on yesterday’s events to write, two sets of gear and clothes to clean, he needed to see Erwin and talk to him about what had happened, and he wanted to be keeping an eye on her to make sure she continued to be okay, or at least cope more healthily than accidentally almost shutting out her humanity–

Not today.

Making sure she didn’t break again was at the top of his priority list.  He didn’t really know what advice to give her about how to cope, or even if he could, considering everyone coped differently.  She’d already seemed to have her own methods and had done extraordinarily well in coping with her vampire lifestyle and reality.  He was hoping that now that she had her feet back under her and had been grounded, she’d be okay moving forwards, that she’d find what worked for her.

Last time something had truly bothered her, it had resulted in pages of haunting drawings of his near death experience suddenly filling her sketchbook, looking so out of place amongst her captured moments of the horses and the squad, her nature drawings…

Maybe that was something he could do.

Maybe.

It was dangerous to be heading out as a Scout right now–today especially.  The food shortage hadn’t magically been fixed overnight by the sacrifice of the three hundred thousand, it would still take a little while for things to improve back to sustainable, and today everything was still raw and at the forefront of everyone’s minds.  The Scouts were prime targets, and stepping out into public was just asking for some kind of conflict to break out.

He’d think about it.  Maybe if he kept his head low and went out in civilian clothes, and made it quick and direct, he could avoid the worst of a conflict.

Y/N shifted in her sleep, one of her arms stretching out to lay more haphazardly across his chest, face turning into his chest so that her nose and lips were pressed against his pectoral, and he had to stifle a soft snort at the way her face was now smushed into him, the sound cut short by him holding his breath as her leg rose higher so her thigh was lying across his waist, clinging to him even fast asleep.

Closing his eyes, Levi focused on his breathing, on the steady in and out, on keeping completely still.  He was not going to think of how warm and close she was, how right it felt to have her pressed against him even if it wasn’t the most comfortable when she was partially rolled onto his arm like that, the limb starting to tingle and go numb–

There was a fairly loud knock on the door, enough that it made both of them start, Levi tensing and holding Y/N closer at the abrupt sound, and Y/N startled awake with her head lifting off his chest, eyes blinking blearily without being awake enough to truly see the world around her, yet.  There was light outside her window by now, yes, and most of the soldiers here that had things to do today would be up by now, but he wouldn’t have expected anyone to be here of all places this early besides the two of them–

“Y/N!  Rise and shine!” A familiar voice sing-songed.

He should have known.

“I’ve come to claim you before Short Stack can hog all the cheering up duties.  You’re joining me for some experiments today!” Hange continued to prattle at a volume loud enough to wake Y/N if she hadn’t already.

Levi scowled at the comment about him, glancing down at Y/N as she tried to bury her face in him with a soft groan, pulling the blankets higher until she had the fisted ends covering her hands pressed against her cheeks.  Her eyes were squinted against the morning light in their own protest, undecided if they would rebel and stay closed or if she would crack her eyelids open to start to adjust to the morning light.

“I hope you’re already awake and ready to move, because if not, you only have until I pick this lock before I come in to collect you myself!”

The threat was delivered with a deceptively cheerful voice that let Levi and Y/N know that Hange was not joking, and was in fact prepared to force her way in to see Y/N and to do her part to make sure she was going to be okay.

Levi carefully untangled himself from Y/N as fast as he could without ripping himself harshly free and without making so much noise he tipped Hange off to the fact that he was in here.  Y/N curled into a ball after he’d pulled himself free with a disgruntled groan, staying in that position under the covers for a solid few seconds before her head popped out from under the covers, nose scrunched up and lips pulled into a pout.

Hange had already run into them during their first kiss.  Considering this was a single room private room with the small washroom off to the side and as soon as Hange entered she would be able to see the bed, he had to move before she got inside.  He didn’t want her to also run in on them in their state of half undress in the bed together–he’d never hear the end of it.

Once his feet had silently found stable footing on the floor, he leaned over to give Y/N a kiss on the forehead, scooping his shoes up from their spot on the floor beside the bed, leaning over to snatch his shirt off the floor as well.  He could hear rattling at the door as Hange worked on picking the lock like she’d threatened to do, prompting him to hastily duck into the bathroom and get the door as close to shut as he could without making noise, mere moments before he heard the door to Y/N’s room swing open.

“I knew it–still in bed!” Hange announced once she was inside, her footsteps crossing the room approaching the bed.

Levi drew further behind the door, just in case, already starting to quietly pull on his shirt just in case he was discovered.  A quick glance in the mirror showed the usual shadows under his eyes after a sleepless night, but also smooth and unblemished skin along his throat despite her sensual biting last night–though the old bite marks were still there.  As he buttoned up his shirt, he could also see that the bruise on his wrist had vanished, and every scar he normally didn’t pay any attention to felt more…prominent, this morning.  Thankfully, he didn’t think it was in a bad way.  He wasn’t plagued with memories of injuries and suffering.  Instead, he was imagining the feel of her fingers and lips against his skin last night, treating each spot with tender reverence and providing a new perspective to view each unique mark on his skin.

“Go away,” Y/N moaned, the muffled sound suggesting she was burying herself into her blankets again to try and hide from Hange’s approach.  “Let me sleep.”

“Nope!”

The cheerful exclamation was followed by a rush of fabric, and a strangled noise of aggravation and distress from Y/N–Hange had likely just pulled the covers from the bed to keep her from hiding beneath them.

“You and I are going to spend the morning together, and have plenty of time for nice, long heart to hearts,” Hange announced.

Footsteps drew closer to the door, and Levi quickly slid closer to the door so that when it opened he could hide behind it.

“Does it have to be so early?”

“What are you talking about?  This is the Scouts–You’ve slept in already!  And like I said, I had to get here early if I wanted to beat Levi to the punch before he could whisk you away to keep you all for himself like he has the past few months,” Hange was saying as the door opened and she walked inside, Levi sliding as deep as he could into the corner behind the door and staying as quiet as possible.  He could hear water splashing into a container, likely the small pitcher–

“Now, let’s hop to–If I need to, I’ll encourage you with a nice flash of cool water.”

“You wouldn’t dare.”

Levi could envision Hange’s mischievous grin in his mind’s eye as her footsteps came to a halt in the bathroom doorway.

“You bet I would.  C’mon, hurry up, before he intercepts us!”

Y/N sighed, the sound heavy and reluctant, but he could hear movement in the room, and Hange hadn’t moved from her position in the doorway.  She’d finally gotten out of bed and started moving around, prompting Hange to put the pitcher back on the wash basin counter.

“Hey, I don’t see your gear anywhere?” Hange called inquisitively before she bounced out of the bathroom, shutting the door completely behind her and allowing Levi to relax from his cramped, tense position behind the door.  

“Levi probably took it last night to clean it,” Y/N responded without missing a beat.

Safe behind the shut door of the bathroom, Levi slipped on his shoes, barely able to make out the softest chuckle, coming from Hange based on her proximity to the bathroom door since she didn’t seem to have strayed too far from it.

“Are you sure you didn’t accidentally use some kind of vampire charm on him or something?  Cause he’s all tangled up in his heartstrings trying to learn to play them for you.”

It was a damn good thing he was out of sight and was supposed to be quiet right now, because her statement had heat immediately rising to his face, breath catching and held to keep him from trying to snap out a defense that would probably amount to just telling her to shut the fuck up about shit she didn’t know shit about.

“He was just being thoughtful,” Y/N murmured, sounding further away.  She was probably over by her dresser trying to get dressed in something acceptable for off duty but still doing things around headquarters.

“Oh, yes, certainly, that’s all it is, you’re absolutely right,” Hange teased.

There was the sound of Hange’s footsteps moving across the floor towards where Y/N was, and he heard a soft ‘oof’ uttered by Y/N before Hange was speaking again around the sound of stumbling feet, the noise moving towards the door to Y/N’s room.

“Come on, let’s get out of here before someone else tries to steal you away.”

“I really don’t think you have to worry about that, Hange…”

The door opened, shut, and he heard the sound of their voices and footsteps disappearing down the hall.  He waited a full minute after he’d stopped hearing them before he stepped out of the bathroom, looking at the haphazard state the bedroom had been left in the wake of Hange’s determined attempts to drag Y/N out of sulking in her bedroom and getting her to do something else entirely.

The bedsheets were at least tossed back onto the bed, though they were spilling onto the floor.  One of the dresser drawers were partially open, the clothes Y/N had slept in last night were in a pile kicked off to the side in a bundle–

Messier than normal, given how Hange had been rushing her out.

Levi at least took the time to make the bed, shut the drawer, and put the dirty clothes in their proper place before he slipped out of her room once he was certain no one was passing by in the hallway.

He needed to go clean for a while, partially to check that part off his list, but also to cool down and do some thinking.

Or at least distract himself from Hange’s little comment about him and his feelings.

*Reader’s POV*

Hange didn’t waste any time with detours, dragging you directly to her office with far more energy than you could currently keep up with.  You’d intended to sleep in and rest today, and having to abruptly be up and moving around, fully alert, was throwing you off and making you groggy and a bit slower to respond.  Hange didn’t seem to mind, though, undaunted by your sleepy state as she dragged a chair out for you to sit in and went digging for the notes from the last time the two of you had sat down to discuss and exercise–to a degree–your abilities behind the safety of the locked door of her office.

“Ah!  Got it!”  Hange exclaimed, pulling out the notebook you’d seen her use last time to scribble down her notes and theories to go over later.  “I’ve got to hide it from Moblit, but that’s a lot harder to do than it sounds–speaking of, would you be okay with telling him about this before he stumbles across the book on his own?”

You blinked, not expecting the question.  As usual, your immediate thought was, the less people that know, the better, and the easier to contain the secret.  She did have a point that Moblit very well could stumble across it during one of his purges through her room to try and keep things semi-organized and see if he could recover lost items that just got buried in everything else.  He’d open it to figure out what it was to put it in the proper place, and be met with a bunch of notes about yourself and vampires in general.

It made sense, but it wasn’t just up to you.  “Ask Erwin.”

Hange sighed, dropping into the chair directly across from you.  “Guess that’s something I can do when I drop off my report on yesterday.”

You grimaced at the reminder–that was something you still needed to do, since you hadn’t done it last night.

Other things had been on your mind last night.

Hange flipped open her notebook, flipping forwards past sketches of your fangs and scribbled notes in diagram forms to a new page.  “If you haven’t done yours yet, either, that’s something we can get done together and I can drop them off when I go see Erwin.”

You hummed, leaning forwards to rest your chin in your palm.  “That’d be appreciated.  Thanks Hange.  I’ll drop the report off to Levi later, though–I’m sure he’d rather the squad’s reports were turned in altogether.”

Hange hummed, scrounging up a pencil from the desk, leaning in much closer now that she had everything she needed.  “So–when was the last time you fed?”

It took far more effort than you wanted to admit to smother down the echo in your ears of the sounds Levi had made in your ear with your teeth latched into his throat, the feel of his body beneath yours and his excitement–

“Last night,” you said, forcing yourself to stay focused fully on the present before you could spiral any further into the memories of last night.

Excitement sparked in her eyes.  “Oh?  You don’t mind testing your healing rate today, then, do you?  I haven’t caught you so soon after a feed before!”

“I suppose not.”

You held out your hand for Hange to take, sitting back passively as you watched her turn your arm around until she’d picked a spot that wasn’t going to hurt too bad or hit anything important.  She just wanted to see how fast you would heal from an injury, not test something major that would sap some of that fresh strength you had just gained–and a little extra you were still basking in.

After finding the desired spot, Hange fished around for a simple knife in the drawer of her desk, leaning in to see the very start of the cut as she made a quick swipe of the edge down your arm, keeping the sting of the cut short instead of drawing it out.  You flinched from the flash of pain, but kept yourself still after that, giving Hange the perfect view of the cut that was closing back up already.

“That’s amazing–and much faster than the last time we did this,” Hange commented in wonder, turning your arm slightly so that the light hit the healing wound at different angles as the skin stitched itself back together, the scar was left behind, and then began to rapidly fade.

“Well, it had been a bit since I last fed when we last did this.  And Levi and I had been sparring, which means I’d already burned through some energy healing from those…”

“This gives me a great starting point to work with for your healing rate relative to blood drank,” Hange said excitedly.  “I don’t really have a gauge for quality, but if you’re regularly taking from Levi anyway, I can at least use what we’ve done in the past and this to figure it out for your current diet,” Hange was rambling, scribbling in her journal, drawing a rough sketch of the wound you’d just had before it healed for a visual representation of what kind of wound had just healed that fast.

“I’m not going to bite you, Hange.”

“I know!  I didn’t even ask.  Besides, biting me right now would probably be a little over indulgent.”

Indulgent tonight?

You cleared your throat, looking away to pick through some of the papers on the desk while she wrote to distract yourself.  “Well, when you finish with your calculations, do you want to go back into trying to figure out how the necklace works?”

Hange hummed, fingers pressed against the tips of the page to start peeling the pages back, likely to seek out her notes from the last time the two of you had poked at trying to figure out the way it worked, or at least get her finger between pages where she’d need to flip to once she finished with her current writing.

“There’s certainly some aspect about how it works that we’re missing, and whatever it is, I think it’s the crucial piece to actually make a new necklace work.  It doesn’t hurt to keep trying new things to try and figure out what it is we’re missing.  There doesn’t seem to be anything inside your necklace, so what we see is what we get, and yet…” Hange mused.

You shrugged.  “Maybe if we keep trying new ideas we’ll stumble into a breakthrough eventually.”

Hange circled two or three abstract thoughts on her observation diagram, drew some connecting lines, and turned to face you.  “Exactly!  What did you have in mind?”

As you could have predicted, the two of you didn’t manage to unlock the secrets of your necklace today.  It was always worth giving a shot, but the pieces for a necklace that the two of you experimented on still failed to yield any kind of protection from the sun, putting you back to a stumped square one, back to the drawing board.  

After the failure with the necklace experiments and no new ideas to try out today, Hange went back to testing your healing rate, which was less fun since it involved various–minor, consensual–injuries inflicted upon you.  Still, she explored a bit further beyond the brief bit she’d gotten from the earlier wound, trying different depths and lengths–again, with your consent–to test the healing rate with different injury types.

After a bit of discussion, you sat down with her to sketch out some of your past injuries that were not the kind that you would want to recreate–such as Levi’s slash across your chest with the ultrasteel blades, or the sage-soaked wooden weapons from the hunters–giving as detailed of a recreation as you could manage with specifics of when the last time you had fed at that point in time had been, how long it took to heal, if more blood had been required to complete the healing at a more rapid process–

All details Hange soaked up eagerly to help feed her theorizing and analysis.

After the experiments, the two of you had sat down with papers pulled in front of the two of you to write out your reports of what had happened yesterday.  The mood in the room had turned more somber, both of you quiet and working on your recollection of each of your experiences with the horrors of the day before.

The silence in the room was only punctuated by the scratch of your pens against the paper or the occasional rustle of the papers being shifted when you finished a page.  Your eyes were unfocused as you wrote, the lines of the letters on the page contorting across the sheets of off-white as if attempting to form moving images of the haunting scenes in your mind’s eye across the page. 

Not sure if it was stress after-the-fact or if you were still tired after your on again off again sleep, you sighed and leaned forward, taking a moment to pinch the bridge of your nose, as if the pressure could hold back the more visceral images in your mind.

Hange suddenly spoke, her voice filled with a soft and caring edge you had not heard from her yet that caught you off guard.

“I know yesterday was hard on you–I doubt reliving it for a report is easy.”

It was a gentle way to broach the subject, allowing you to answer and direct what part of the conversation to pursue if you decided to talk.  She wasn’t asking anything that you had to answer directly, stating observation more than anything, and she wasn’t assuming anything or speculating with theories you could either confirm or deny.  She left it entirely up to you.

As if delving back into the memories for your report didn’t make your heart heavier with the revisiting of the bloody memories from yesterday, you felt the return of the compression of your chest trying to squeeze itself into a much smaller space as you turned over just how hard it had been, so you could give Hange a suitable response.

“It has to be done, though–the command needs all the facts in case there’s something of discovery in someone’s experience, and…and it will help with figuring out the more accurate death toll,” you told her quietly.

“Well, yeah, those are the more official reasons to do it–but I wasn’t talking about why they need to be done.”  Hange sat down her pen, pushing the book aside and leaning in to peer at you more intently.

You let out a small sigh, looking off to the side and away from her intense gaze for a moment.  “I’ve dealt with death regularly for more than half of my life.  It’s…it’s an unfortunate constant companion for me, even now.  I’m no stranger to the gruesome, bloody, and unfair death in this world.  But this was just…different.  Too much.  I was drowning in it last night.”

Hange let your words linger in the air between the two of you, possibly taking the time to mull over what she should say in answer to that.

“All of us are going to be carrying the burden of this for the rest of our lives,” Hange started.  “I’ve seen some bloody days in the Scouts, we’ve suffered horrific losses in the past.  This was…something else, yes.  On a scale none of us could have imagined, even those of us that have seen the horrors of the Titans time and time again by now.  I promise you there’s not a single one of us that won’t be haunted by what happened yesterday, and you’re not the only one who’s struggling with it.”

Hange reached out to place a tentative hand on your shoulder, giving it a small squeeze and offering you a small, sad smile when you looked back at her.

“But it’s not a burden that you have to carry alone.  You have comrades who are carrying it with you, and some that would probably find some comfort in knowing you’re carrying it with them.  The Scouts have always been about furthering humanity’s fight against the Titans, finding a way to fight back, for humanity to survive, to learn about the Titans and progress in the fight instead of losing ground–and giving meaning to all the sacrifices along the way.  That weight has always been part of what the Scouts have to carry…it’s just a much bigger burden to shoulder, now.  For all of us to shoulder.”

You looked away again when she seemed to pause in what she was saying for a moment, giving you the time to soak in what she was saying.

That was one way to tell you that you weren’t alone, and that there were people who would support you–and that could use your help supporting them along the way.  She didn’t say that it would go away or one day you’d get over it or anything like that.  She let you know you weren’t the only one and that there were people who could understand and carry it with you when you felt it was too big for you.

Like Levi.  Like Hange.  Petra, who had already been worried about you before everything even happened.  Anyone in the Scouts you grew close enough to open up to when you were having a rougher go of things.

“Besides–”

Hange straightened, filling in the silence between the two of you before you could speak as she leaned back, poking at your cheek playfully.  You couldn’t help but feel as if she was pointing out a spot Levi had left behind, some mark from his kisses last night.

You knew he had kissed you there last night amongst many other places.  She didn’t, not necessarily, it was just a guess so long as you didn’t react in a way that confirmed it for her.

Or maybe the intimacy of last night had left you hyper aware in a way that felt so visceral to you, it was easy to think that somehow the others would see it, too, even though they couldn’t, and her poke had nothing to do with Levi’s affections last night.

“I’m sure it’s so tempting to just keep your super secret club to you and Levi for all the highs and lows of what’s happening in your life, but the rest of us would at least like to be allowed in from time to time,” Hange teased.  “He’s been hogging you ever since you two made up, and the rest of us are going to band together and demand play dates.”

You shoved her poking finger away with a roll of your eyes, glad for the bit of lightheartedness to take away from the somber mood in the air and help lift your spirits.  “Aw, Hange, I didn’t know you were so jealous,” you answered right back.

“Of course I am.  You turned down my offer for you to date me instead while you two were going through your rocky period, and I missed my shot–I’m all kinds of jealous that short stack gets the gifted, sexy, vampire girlfriend.”

“Why are you jealous, you have Moblit?”

“Maybe, but you have fangs.”

“I’m not biting you, Hange.”

“Today.”

“How about we circle back to you not correcting me on the Moblit thing?”

“Moblit is Moblit.”

“And Levi is Levi, we don’t have a label for what we are, we just are, so you need a better excuse.”

“So you admit to you and Levi being a thing!”

“Hange, you walked in on us kissing, you know there’s been something going on, that’s not a distraction that’s going to work.”

“And don’t I know it, you two were really going at each other.  Is it always like that with all that pent up tension and–”

“Okay, Hange, different topic!”

Hange chuckled, pushing her glasses back up her nose from where they had slipped in her enthusiasm.  “One of these days, I’ll get you to share all the juicy details.”

You buried your face in your hand, purposely angling the side that Hange was on to hide your embarrassment the best that you could.

She wasn’t getting those juicy details any time soon.  You were hoarding them all to yourself, and you had no desire to share the sounds Levi made and the way his body responded to you, the expressions on his face and the looks in his eyes when it was just the two of you.  Those were all yours to collect and cherish and keep locked where only you could pull them out to admire them.

Levi’s heart was not something you felt inclined to share the inner workings of–you wanted each beat in the rhythm of his pulse all for yourself.

*Levi’s POV*

Levi’s fingers still tingled from how hard he had scrubbed at the blood on their clothes this morning, smelling strongly of soaps and oil after his work on not only his gear and clothes, but Y/N’s as well.  He’d put off writing his report a little longer simply because his fingers had still been sore enough he’d needed to give them a slight break, choosing to do most of his trips to go see people and check in on his squad members besides Y/N, Erwin, and Hange just to give his fingers time to recover.

Erwin was the meeting for after the report was done, while Levi had his attention and hopefully enough time to say what needed to be said before Erwin’s attention was claimed elsewhere.

Maybe.  If Erwin was neck deep in those death notices and sorting the reports to figure out how many, exactly, had died and getting confirmations of death to the many that had lost family yesterday, then he might not have the time to sit down and talk about everything else that still needed addressed.

That was a problem to tackle when he was there.  At the moment, Levi was working on the said report–as well as the unofficial shorter report that would go into details of what had happened in regards to Y/N’s vampirism, such as being able to hear the massacre and how far away they’d needed to move in order for her to stop hearing it.

He left out the near-loss of her humanity not to bury and hide it, but because that was a conversation Levi wanted to have in person with Erwin, where his displeasure and disapproval with the whole mess would be loud and clear and not as easily brushed off.

This, what had almost happened last night, at least in regards to Y/N, could not happen again.

There was a knock on his door, softer and familiar, which prompted him to call out without looking up from his report, though he did shift the vampire version under papers where it couldn’t be seen.  

“Yes?”

Petra slipped inside, a stack of the reports from his squad in her hand.  “I have almost everyone’s reports, Captain–except for Y/N’s.  I couldn’t find her, is she–?”

Petra had dark circles under her eyes.  A rough night for everyone, then.  However, he’d be more worried if someone wasn’t showing signs of some kind of stress or exhaustion after yesterday.

“L/N’s with Hange at the moment going over Titan capture plans again.  She knows to get it to me when she’s escaped,” Levi remarked, turning his gaze back to his work after confirming who was entering.  Petra approached to tentatively put the stack of the rest of the squad’s reports on the corner of his desk where they would be out of the way.

“Is…is she okay, Captain?  I know she wasn’t doing well before everything happened, and she wasn’t even responsive after–”

As easy as it was to simply say ‘she’ll be fine’ and end the conversation there, Levi decided against it.  He didn’t have to divulge the more private details, but he’d feel better knowing she had a decent support group to fall back on, not just him.

“She’s got her feet under her, and she’s doing her duties.  Doesn’t mean you can’t check on her when you see her next,” Levi said calmly.

Petra snapped a salute, sensing the dismissal in his response and probably picking up on the veiled suggestion to go check on Y/N for herself.  “Thank you, Sir,” she responded, before promptly taking her leave.

Petra was the only one he was going to send her way, though.  Hange could already be a handful, and Petra would likely drag the others into making sure Y/N had plenty of support from her squad after seeing the effects the day had on her yesterday.  Any more than that and it might start to get annoying hearing people ask her over and over again if she was okay and wanting to talk about something she needed to be trying to move forwards from.

That and it was probably best she keep lying low for a while longer, at least until the food shortage started to ease up from its currently more dire status.  He hadn’t forgotten the looks he’d caught some of the others giving her when they thought no one was watching, and he’d rather any unnecessary fights or conflicts be avoided if they could manage it.

They didn’t need dissention in the ranks, especially not right now.

Just another thing thing to add to the list of all the shit they currently had to shovel and deal with right now, though this one the best they could do at the moment was to try to keep it from getting worse.  There were other things they could focus on while they waited for that issue to take care of itself.

Some of which were also things Levi needed to bring up with Erwin as soon as he got the chance to.

He hoped the other man could afford to carve out enough time in his day to address it all.

It was much later than Levi would have liked before he finally got in to see Erwin when the man wasn’t caught up in meetings with other people.  If he was going to go through with his idea for Y/N today, Levi would be pushing it if he went to town today–maybe he could get to a store with what he was looking for if he went faster than was strictly necessary and didn’t dawdle, but if he ran into trouble while he was out amongst the civilian population, that could be an issue and he could miss his opening.

Not something for him to be thinking about right now.  It was looking like he wouldn’t be able to slip away today.  However, he’d worry about that after his meeting with Erwin, which needed his full attention considering everything that needed to be discussed.

When he entered Erwin’s office, he was unsurprised to find it more of a mess than usual.  Erwin looked like he hadn’t slept at all, or if he had, at best it had been quick naps at his desk between stacks of reports of yesterday on his desk, as well as papers scattered across the surface to assist in the record keeping and data sorting he was in the middle of, trying to identify deceased soldiers and give a death and survivor count for the brass from the collective perspectives and accounts of the Scouts, comparison of reports of individuals that had been in the same group or area to make sure casualties weren’t counted twice…

Erwin had the hardest paperwork job out of all of them, and Levi didn’t envy him it.  His contribution to easing Erwin’s work load had been in making sure his own report was as clear as possible, and including an extra report compilation that already did some of that work that Erwin was doing on a smaller scale–he had a workup of the collective casualties that his squad had witnessed as well as the individuals that they had rescued and the handful that they had been aware hadn’t survived long enough to even leave the top of the wall.  

There was even a small summary that spelled out some incidents of note from the collective experience of the squad, details of the behaviors of some of the abnormals, obstacles they had run into during the rescue attempts and suggestions for what kind of fixes could help such an endeavor run smoother in the future–

The short of it was, Levi did his best to make Erwin’s job a little easier with his contribution to the pile and tried to make it easier for the other man to work through.

And, of course, Y/N’s report was now included in the stack–she’d come by to drop it off before lunch, unable to linger due to an apparent promise in the hall to Petra to join the rest of the squad for their lunch.  So, the visit had been only in passing, nothing much to show for it besides a lingering touch and a soft, slight smile to show she was managing to get through the day so far.

They’d catch up again at the end of the day, he was sure.

After making sure the door was shut behind him and that no one was lurking in a corner once he was fully inside, Levi went right up to the desk and placed his squad’s reports at the top of the stack he had just watched Erwin pull another squad’s bundle of reports from.

“There’s shit that’s not in there we need to discuss,” Levi announced, pointing to the reports he’d just added to the pile.

Erwin didn’t seem phased, tired eyes scanning the papers in front of him.  If he didn’t know better, Levi would be tempted to think Erwin was just too tired to fully process what he’d said with how long the silence stretched before he answered.

“Normally you leave the vampire updates to the unofficial reports,” Erwin observed.  “Is this over what that lap around Trost was about?”

Even visibly tired, Erwin’s prying and analytical tone didn’t lose its edge.

“That’s in the unofficial report.  This is about after everything, and should this kind of shit happen again.”

Erwin’s gaze flickered up to Levi at the slightly sharper edge that had leaked into his voice near the end there, hinting that what Levi had to say was going to be a bit more charged than their normal discussions about Y/N.

“Miche will be here in–” Erwin glanced out the window to gauge the time by the sun's position in the sky.  “A half hour or so.”

“It’s straightforward,” Levi said bluntly, arms crossed over his chest as he stared unwaveringly at Erwin.  “If there’s ever bullshit like that we have to carry out again, don’t involve her in it.  Give her some other job as far from the massacre as we can get her.”

Erwin put down the pen he was writing with, leaning back in his seat to turn a sharp eye on Levi.  That sharp look and the frown on his face was only the start of Erwin’s displeasure with that not-a-request from Levi.

Levi’s tense tone made it clear enough that this wasn’t a request.

“You know why she can’t get special treatment like that, especially in situations like this,” Erwin said, studying Levi closely.  “I can’t leave just one soldier out of a mess that logically we would want present to help keep some semblance of control of what we can.  It would be noticed, and easily chalked up to favoritism.”

“That’s why I said give her some other job to do.  Even if you have to make something up, make her part of a relay for communication with the brass sitting comfortably in Sina because she’s known for how fast she can move.  I don’t care.  Just keep her out of it.  She can’t take being a part of a blatant civilian sacrifice like that again.”

Ideally, there wouldn’t be another massacre like this again where they were commanded to stand by and do nothing and make sure a massive swath of civilians died.  But he thought more realistically than that.  The situation they were in was a constant looming fatal threat with Titans capable of breaking through the walls, no current way to plug those walls, and no plan to reclaim territory in an efficient way that made the effort worth the endeavor instead of just an endless loop of a losing battle.  If the next wall was broken through, if Rose fell as well as Maria and civilians were let into Sina, another sacrifice would follow soon after–if they weren’t all killed in a civil war for what meager resources remained, first.

There was still a possibility of the Scouts being told to ensure the death of a large part of humanity again if Rose fell–and likely far more than the over twenty percent of humanity that they had carried out yesterday.

She didn’t need to suffer through an even worse nightmare of yesterday–with her heightened emotions, she might not be able to without shutting off her humanity.  Then she’d be lost to them.  To him.  And there was something worse about the thought of losing her while still technically having her.

“Levi,” Erwin started, tone admonishing in a way that made Levi bristle to hear.  “Everyone is dealing with yesterday’s events, some better than others, and some not at all.  I’ve already got resignation requests I have to go through after this.  If Rose falls, and this situation happens again, so long as she’s a Scout she will still be there.  I won’t give her special treatment because you want to spare her the pain the rest of us are dealing with.  You’ve already promised me the relationship happening between the two of you wouldn’t cloud your judgement–”

“This isn’t about my personal feelings,” Levi grit out, voice cutting Erwin’s lecture off like his blades through Titan flesh.  “This isn’t about wanting to spare her pain.  She’s a Scout–it’d be pointless and idiotic to want that.”

Even if he didn’t like seeing her in pain, that was just part of what they dealt with regularly as Scouts, she was going to be in pain far more times in the future, and there wasn’t anything he could do to prevent that–only things he could do to try and ease the pain afterwards and help her get through it.

Levi leaned forwards, one hand braced on the front of Erwin’s desk, the other pointing at the reports as if to emphasize that what he was saying was partially addressed in the reports he just turned over.

“I’m talking about the fact that we almost lost her last night.  If I hadn’t been there to catch what was happening, we probably wouldn’t have her at all anymore.  Even if we did, there would be an active threat lurking in our ranks waiting for something to set it off.”

The moment Levi called what Y/N would become if she shut out her humanity it and not her, Erwin set aside the reports he’d been ready to get into before Levi had claimed his undivided attention.

Once the reports were back in the pile he’d taken them from–Levi noticed Erwin also shifted Levi’s squad’s reports to the top in the process–Erwin leaned forwards, raising his hands that were now loosely interlaced together to his lips in contemplation.

“What happened last night?” he asked, voice measured, gaze fixed on Levi, choosing to withhold his reaction until he had Levi’s full statement.

Levi stood upright again, gaze scanning for every micro expression Erwin may give as he got into the messier details of what almost happened last night.

“She almost shut out her humanity by accident trying to cope with everything she had to witness yesterday.”

Confusion made Erwin’s eyes narrow slightly, eyebrows twitching closer together with the start of a furrowed brow, which reminded Levi that he hadn’t brought that vampire ability to Erwin’s attention before today.

“She once told me that vampires can shut out their humanity–take the things that make them more human–the emotions, conscious, morality–and push it all out so they don’t feel anything.  After having to hear everything yesterday,” Levi lifted his chin in the direction of the reports to indicate the details for that aspect of yesterday’s series of horrific events was in there, “she was trying to cope, and started accidentally shutting out her humanity.  I caught it before she could shut it out fully and managed to bring her back to herself, but it was close.”

The sight of her vanishing right in front of him, the light and warmth bleeding out of her eyes and leaving a cold and empty chasm behind where her soul had been mere moments before, still made his heart rate pick up and his breaths come sharper, cutting against the constriction of his throat as the echo of the fear he felt in that moment crawled beneath his skin again.

Displeasure was one way to describe the look that was now etched into Erwin’s face.  He certainly wasn’t happy about what he was hearing.

“Why wasn't this ability brought to my attention sooner?” Erwin asked, his tone terse, admonishing, and even with a sharp edge to it.

That was on Levi--he was the one who gave Erwin the updates on her vampirism.

“We didn’t know it was something that could happen accidentally, and she didn’t know how to do it,” Levi explained.  He only hesitated to speak for a beat, wary of the fact Erwin had called it an ability and not, say, a risk.  “She said it took something worse than what pushed a vampire to shut out their humanity to let it back in, and they’d get hit with all the shit at once.  It’s not worth it in her eyes, and the thought of who she’d be without her humanity or what it’d take to get her to let it back in scared her.  She’s not going to do it purposely.  If she’d shut out her humanity for this, what it took to snap her out of it would be a nightmare–if we even could.”

As he spoke and Erwin had time to turn over this new information in his mind, Levi could swear he saw that cool, calculating glimmer enter Erwin’s gaze.  It was that look in his eyes that told Levi he was gambling and contemplating dangerous moves that others may deem insane.

If Erwin was weighing the possibility of weaponizing that no-humanity version of Y/N, Levi was going to shut that shit down now before the idea could get too rooted into that big brain of his.

“Don’t even think about it–it’d be the worst idea you’d ever had.”  Levi’s tone was cutting, the words leaving no room for debate.

Erwin raised a brow at Levi's abrupt scolding.  “I didn’t say anything.”

Levi wasn’t going to buy that faux innocence, not for a second.

“Her whole reason for being here and any respect she has for command, us, and basic respect for human life is rooted in her humanity.  You think she’s going to give a shit about the Scouts and their mission, or even care about sticking around if she’s lacking her humanity?  Because what was staring back at me when she almost shut it out sure as hell won’t.”

Her guilt over all the people she’d killed to survive and her value of human life and desire to protect it had driven her here.  Her morality not to harm people if she could help it and to muffle the worst of her vampirism came from her horror at seeing how monstrous and destructive vampires could be.  

There was a respect for the people around her and the chain of command that caused her to ask and consider those involved or affected when making weightier decisions (and she had the time to do so).  All of that went out the window without her humanity, and he doubted she’d stay for the Scouts or give a damn about what they thought or said.

And he knew she wouldn’t give a damn about him without her humanity.  Well, not him as a person.  She’d sure as shit still want his blood, though she wouldn’t care for him or his safety and comfort, and things would get messy fast.

“That’s not the first time you haven’t referred to her as a person–in this scenario,” Erwin amended when he saw the sharp look on Levi’s face at the suggestion that Levi was calling her an it/that/thing.

No, his mind had already drawn up a clear and sharp distinction between Y/N and the thing she almost became last night.  Those weren’t just different people, they were different entities.

“I got a glimpse of what she’d be without her humanity, and it sure as shit wasn’t her,” Levi stressed.  “That was more like what I’d thought she was before she came clean.”

Erwin sighed, letting his hands drop back to the desk.  The other man almost looked…disappointed.

Levi seriously hoped the disappointment was because he’d accepted the risk wasn’t worth trying to weaponize a no-humanity Y/N.

“Well…I suppose hearing you speak so clearly about a threat she could pose and not pulling your punches on how you phrase it is some reassurance that you’re not letting your relationship with her cloud your judgement–though not mentioning this was something vampires could do earlier is still a concern.”

Levi blinked, taken aback not only by the nonchalance in Erwin’s tone as he said it, but by the fact that was the track that Erwin chose to take in this exact moment–another comment about the relationship between Levi and Y/N.

“Are you fucking serious?”

He wasn’t sure if Erwin was actually being an asshole or choosing right now of all times to test him again over their relationship.  He knew Erwin still wasn’t convinced that a relationship between the two of them wasn’t going to get in the way of their duties as Scouts, but now wasn’t exactly the time to be pressing that.

He hoped it wasn’t supposed to be a distraction to keep him from potentially seeing that Erwin hadn’t let go of whatever thought had been brewing in his mind about Y/N’s ability to shut out her humanity, because if it was, he’d hate that it was working.

Erwin ignored his exclamation and plowed right on ahead with the topic.

“And if you were with her through the night, that also answers why you weren’t in your quarters this morning when I came looking for you.  However, if you two are officially spending nights with one another, and not just to monitor recoveries, then it’s about time we had an official talk about this, yes?” Erwin asked, gaze fixated unabashedly on Levi as if he hadn’t just implied that Levi and Y/N were having sex.

He had to bite back a scathing remark about it being none of Erwin’s fucking business what happened in their bedrooms, because unfortunately, to a small degree, it was.  Not in the details, fuck no, but knowing where their relationship was, if it was at the point they needed to start filling out some pain in the ass paperwork about their relationship to clarify there wasn’t some kind of toxic abuse of power/power imbalance/career gain aspect in their relationship occurring, and that it wasn’t negatively impacting their ability to do their duties if anybody came asking.

The line had been blurry until recently, with neither of them knowing what to label their relationship besides the fact they were getting closer and more affectionate.  Now it was blatantly intimate, borderline sexual, more defined as clearly romantic, intensifying and deepening with no sign of letting up any time soon.

Which meant it was about time to be making that official statement of a relationship so that all necessary ass covering could be done and Erwin could prove proper channels had been taken and Scout Leadership–or rather, Erwin, as he was the only one above Levi in Scout Command structure–had been aware of and made sure there wasn’t anything untoward happening, especially since, currently, she was still technically his subordinate in public and on paper.

This wasn’t something he’d thought he’d need to worry about since joining the Scouts, and nobody in his care had started a relationship that he had to handle, so admittedly, he didn’t know the first thing about what, exactly, would be expected from him and Y/N, just that there was a protocol for these kinds of things, it involved paperwork, and the kinds of things they looked for.

Part of him may have been hoping that by the time their relationship developed into something more concretely romantic, she’d be his equal publicly and on paper as well so they wouldn’t have to worry about this shit, but here they were.

“What’s there to say?” Levi asked rhetorically, folding his arms across his chest and moving so that he was leaned against one of the sturdier seats in Erwin’s office, a frown on his face and gaze fixed on the bookshelf across from him instead of at Erwin.

The damn thing was just as much of a mess as the rest of the room, though doing something about it right now would be pointless, since this room was going to be in a constant state of utter disaster until Erwin was finished with handling the aftermath of yesterday’s operation.

Then he could straighten it up, and it would only go to the usual disaster afterwards.

Levi heard rustling paper, a drawer opening, the sound of a file dropping to the desk.  He was tempted to look, but didn’t, stubbornly keeping his gaze averted since he knew there were a bunch of questions about his relationship with Y/N incoming.

“This should go faster than it normally would–I’ve already had parts of the file for this prepared since you two started getting closer.  I’ll just need you and her to confirm and fill in certain details,”  Erwin said calmly, the sound of papers being spread across his desk confirming that he’d had fairly detailed paperwork already prepared and waiting for this conversation.

What the fuck.

“Now…have you entered into a romantic relationship with your subordinate, Y/N L/N?”

He fucking hated hearing Erwin call her his subordinate when they both knew she was his fucking equal–hearing Erwin phrase it that way made their relationship sound filthy.

“Yes,” Levi grit out, leaving out the complaint about the phrasing since, again, at the moment, they were superior and subordinate on paper and in public.

“How long ago?”

When did it become a romantic relationship?  How was he supposed to know that?  What were the qualifiers?  Was it when they had their first kiss?  The first time he’d gotten erect from more than just how good it felt for her to bite him?  The first time they’d been kissing and it got particularly heated?  The first time he’d felt sex might be on the table?  What was the point in his mind there was no denying the fact he was getting in deep with her and what was forming between the two of them wasn’t going to be anything other than romantic?

Most of those milestones happened in the same stretch of time, so his best guess would be…

“A couple months ago.”

He could feel Erwin’s gaze on him, already knew what he was thinking was about how it probably wouldn’t look good that they’d waited a couple months to inform command of their relationship–

“Luckily I already have it in here that I was aware that a relationship was developing between the two of you and you weren’t trying to hide it from me,” Erwin murmured.  “I already have it established that her advancements have been based on individual ability and merit and not on the relationship between the two of you, but I still have to confirm if you two are in a sexual relationship–”

“Fucking hell, Erwin, you don’t really need that shit, do you?”

“It establishes that you didn’t give or suggest her for any of her advancements for sexual favors because there was no sexual relationship at the time, or if there was, we’ll need to clarify that there was no discussion suggesting such an exchange or that it didn’t influence your thinking one way or another,” Erwin returned calmly.  “So, again, is your relationship sexual–”

“No! Fuck, Erwin.”

Not yet, a little voice whispered in the back of his mind, which he promptly attempted to smother the life out of as quickly as possible.  Tried not to think of her legs wrapped around his waist last night, arching against his body, pressed up against the bulge in his pants–

Fuck.

Not yet.

To make matters worse, Levi happened to glance over at Erwin in his exasperation and managed to catch a look on Erwin’s face that told him that Erwin didn’t entirely believe him.  It was true, and thankfully meant no more probing in that area and that her advancements wouldn’t be called into question, so it made this easier, and yet, Erwin didn’t seem convinced.

“We’re not fucking, so you can get that constipated look off your shitty face,” Levi snapped.

Erwin sighed, taking the time to write in the details Levi had just given him into his already partially completed report, the silence in the room giving Levi a few seconds to simmer back down.

“Are there plans to continue your relationship?”

“Yes.”

“Are you conscious of and taking steps to mitigate the risk of your relationship coming into conflict with the duties given to you?”

“You ask me about it all the fucking time.”

“Levi.”

“Yes.  We already fucking talked about it, and you ask me about it regularly, and I already asked you about seeing if we could make us equals an official thing and not just behind closed doors, you know this shit.”

“I still need to confirm it with you.  And if you two haven’t gotten physical, there’s not a risk of sexual favors yet, and there’s plans to move her out of the position of your subordinate, that solves the issue going forwards.”

That pulled Levi out of his sulking and made him look over at Erwin, who was organizing the papers for this file he’d been keeping and going back over what he’d already written to make corrections where he needed to.  Bastard had probably assumed the relationship was already sexual.

“You settled on something, then?”

Erwin hummed.  “An idea or two.  At the moment I don’t have any of it in front of me, but when this,” he gestured around him at the paperwork for yesterday’s operation that he was drowning in, “is finished, I’ll have you both in here to discuss the specifics.  In the meantime, ask her about her thoughts on holding a leadership position–in general.  No matter what’s decided, she’s going to be in a position of authority with this new position; and the sooner you do it and get back to me, the better.”

“What, you’ve got a deadline to make or something?”

“There’s an event coming up–far enough away to give time for the dust to settle from this operation, but still soon.  We need to start gathering support for the expeditions again, and I want to bring both of you with me.  Ideally, that will be when her new title–whatever we settle on–will be made public.”

It hadn’t even been twenty-four hours since yesterday’s nightmare, he was still surrounded by the reports of overwhelming death, and Erwin was already thinking about the next operation, the next expedition, gathering money and support and how to sway the pigs in the upper class into forking over the funds and support they needed to get outside Rose.

Levi’s nose wrinkled slightly at the prospect of having to go to another one of those damn events, as if he could already smell the bullshit he was going to have to swallow and tolerate for a whole evening.

“How fancy?”

“Mitras.”

Shit.

He hated these things–those over-polished shitstains were so far detached from the reality of the world they were all living in, it made him sick.  And Mitras was the worst.  One of the outlying districts of Sina might have been more tolerable, like Stohess, but instead they were going straight to Mitras for the very first one.

Plus, clearly if Erwin was bringing Levi and Y/N, they were meant to be shown off, the best of the best, the reason why the Scouts were going to succeed and the ones responsible for their growing success–ideally, once they got out there again.  Y/N had already been improving the odds for the Scouts, but they hadn’t had the time to confirm it and get the numbers and the stats to back it up before the walls fell.  And, it would be just their luck for the issues to start cropping up after making a claim that their survivability and success rates were about to get drastically better.

Still, Erwin seemed to have decided that adding her to the flaunting to the swine of Mitras to get what they needed for their cause was a risk worth taking.  Either the potential benefits outweighed the risk in his mind, or Erwin had that much faith in her abilities, despite how long it had been since they’d been able to put them to work out beyond the walls.

“You’re really going to debut whatever this special position is that you have in mind for her at this shitty thing?”

“In part.  I’m going to inform our internal command, first, and explain the specifics before we make any larger public announcements.”

Levi’s eyes narrowed slightly.  “How much is this idea of yours going to shake up our command?”

Erwin hummed thoughtfully, though there was a small frown on his lips.  “We’ll know when the others hear.  I had to come up with something new, between needing to get her out from being your subordinate, needing to give her a position that allowed her to exercise her judgement with her vampire abilities but still respected the command structure–Promoting her to existing positions only created new problems about who would be put under her command that would involve drastic or pointless regrouping.  You already called her your right hand in public–yes, that made it back to me–but that would still put you two in the same position that has us filling out this paperwork to make sure you two don’t get in trouble for your relationship.  She’s more your counterpart than anything–”

“Get to the point, Erwin, I know you already have something specific in mind,” Levi cut in with annoyance.

He didn’t need the thought process behind it, Levi had been the one to suggest she get a position that put her in a proper position as his equal a while ago, he knew the reasoning already.

Erwin interlocked his fingers in front of him once more, elbows propped up on the desk on either side of the documents beneath him.  “I have a work in progress for an independent position that would allow her to act at her own discretion based on the knowledge of her vampire abilities the others don’t have, be attached to whichever squad she’s needed in such as with yours while acting as our point or with Hange’s during research focused expeditions, but still includes accountability and answering to higher command, with safeguards so that she can’t always undermine the other officers.  I’m still drafting the rules and protocol for such a position, but, it’s nearly finished.”

“How long before we’re dragged to this shitty thing?  We still have to deal with the Emery situation now that this bigger mess is behind us.”

If Erwin already almost had her new position figured out, it could be closer than they wanted it to be–there were still things that needed to be done sooner rather than later that were going to take some time, Emery being at the top of the list.

Erwin frowned at the reminder of the young vampire that had fallen into the background with everything happening on the Scout side of things.  “You have a few months–time for her to get the proper attire if she needs to, time for us to smooth out the details for her new position, time to finish dealing with the aftermath of yesterday.  Depending on what you two have in mind for how to handle the situation with the young vampire, you should be able to find the time to do so.  Do the two of you have an idea of how to handle it?  Once the Garrison is finished with their part in dealing with the aftermath and the public settles down again, they’re going to be on the hunt for him again with their full focus.  Though, I wouldn’t be surprised if there’s a faction hunting him now with less savory motives hoping to take advantage of the current chaos to get away with something more akin to retribution.”

Levi wouldn’t be surprised if that was the case, either–all the more reason to be quick about handling the Emery situation.  The sooner the better.

“We do.  It’s going to take some digging to do it right, but we’ve talked about faking his death.  We’re going to need to scope out the area and figure out what kinds of people are in the squads hunting for him.”

The last thing either of them wanted was to accidentally throw Emery to a squad that would take their time and draw out his ‘death’, so they were going to make sure they put him in the path of a squad that would be quick to put him down if they were pushed the right way.

Erwin hummed, closing the file with the official ass covering details of Levi and Y/N’s relationship and leaning over to stuff the file back into one of his drawers–Levi tried not to think of how crammed full and desperately needing a purge that drawer was with the sound Levi could hear of folder edges rapidly smacking against the top of the drawer as Erwin opened and closed it.

“Keep me updated, and let me know when you have a more detailed plan before you go carrying anything out.  I’ll see if I can get any more details on the Military Police that were getting involved in the hunt.”

“They weren’t eager for you to be sniffing around their bullshit the last few times you tried.”

“Well, perhaps I can come away with a success this time,” Erwin remarked, reaching to continue with his pile of reports.

They were likely running out of time–Miche would be here at any moment, and Levi would be unable to talk about most of what they had been discussing any further.  That, and the fact that Erwin was reaching for the reports again meant that Erwin had every intention of wrapping this conversation up.

If there was one thing he wanted to stress the most before he had to leave–

“Erwin…I’m serious about not involving her if we’re in this kind of shitshow again.  We can’t risk her losing her humanity.”

Erwin didn’t immediately reply, didn’t even look at Levi, spreading the reports Levi had brought him one by one across his desk.  Before Levi could speak again to press the matter and demand an answer, there was a knock on the door that had Levi swearing under his breath.

He was out of time.

“Yes, Miche?” Erwin called, which prompted the Section Commander to step inside and stroll across the room, promptly keeping Levi from pressing the subject any more.  Levi started to turn, already knowing this meant he was dismissed, not even sparing Miche a glance as he stalked towards the door.

Erwin called out to him before he could leave the office.

“Levi.  I’ll let you know when there’s a complete list of the families of the scouts we lost that we need to notify.”

That wasn’t an answer, it wasn’t even in the realm of anything they’d been talking about–even if it was something Levi needed to know about since he’d be involved in the notifications as an officer.

And it sure as hell didn’t escape Levi’s notice that Erwin had been evasive about giving him any kind of opinion or statement about the matter throughout their whole conversation.

(Strikethroughs Couldn't Be Tagged)

Everything Tags:   @antistellxr 

Levi Tags:  @clary-quinn @ayatosmlktea @whalerus @sunny-flo @thirstyforsometea @hauntedhousecat @peaches-and-clouds @imaginationmess @wubbawubwub04 @lollobos @pasteldays @itsmeaudrieee @macaronnv @tokyo-banana @apuci-kis-szornye @momowantscats @yellowminb @ashikothedog @notgoodforlife @spnwinchestersd @xxdarkdarlingxx @joy-the-reader

*Reader’s POV*

Emery hadn’t been expecting you to return so soon after the botched hunt.  Your appearance at his cave had been more than just a little surprise for him–the poor kid actually tried to jump you, thinking you were an intruder, which just ended with him flat on the back with the wind knocked out of him and a resounding crack of his head against rock that actually had you checking him over to make sure you hadn’t accidentally cracked his head open in the process of defending yourself.  Once Emery had caught his breath again and you were certain there wasn’t any blood matting the hair at the back of his head, you sat him down in order to have a precursor to the upcoming discussion.  Or rather, officially give him the warning, and try to lay some ground rules on Emery’s side in order to try and give Levi a bit more of a safety net coming to see the fledgling vampire.

Emery had already known that there was a human working with you, that knew your secret, so you didn’t have to give that part of the explanation.  Thankfully, that meant you were able to cut right to the chase and discuss why he was coming, and try to establish methods to help Emery not attack him when he came.

“I thought you didn’t want him anywhere near me because you were worried I’d attack him?” Emery asked once you’d told him of Levi’s impending arrival, shifting uncomfortably where he was currently seated on the floor of the cave.  Thankfully, there was still no hint of offense in his tone over your continued concern for Levi’s safety around him–Emery was painfully aware of how dangerous he was to humans right now, which was why you hadn’t heard any protest from him about living in isolation for the time being.  If anything, Emery seemed more concerned about Levi’s safety than why Levi would be coming.

You didn’t tell him that you were pretty sure Levi could take him in a fight easily, even with the vampire abilities, considering Levi could beat you in a fight.  You would rather Emery worry and end up not needing to have worried so much, than he didn’t take it seriously enough and something bad happened.  This was going to be Levi’s first face to face impression of the teenager, as well as a meeting that was going to basically decide Emery’s future–he needed to be taking this seriously in every way possible.

Your soft sigh still echoed around the deep chamber of the cave, though you remained still in your spot leaning against the wall further from the tiny, flickering fire Emery had going than his spot on the ground.  “That’s still a concern.  And he’s well aware that I’m not happy about it, that I’m concerned about his safety, but…he has his own concerns about my safety when it comes to what I’m risking to help you.  With how poorly things went last night, he needs to meet you for himself, and he’s going to have questions.”

“...what kind of questions?”

Emery’s voice was small, and for a moment, it looked to you like the shadows of the cave would swallow him whole and drag him into the depths of the small cave system he was currently using for shelter.  You weren’t doing much to put his mind at ease about this meeting, but it wasn’t a good thing that they were having it.  Emery’s refusal to really hunt had, as Levi pointed out, put you in a far more difficult position, and he needed to learn the gravity of the situation.

“I didn’t ask–I’m not his superior, he doesn’t have to run them by me, first.  And he has every right to be worried about my involvement with you and the position I’m in now, especially after hearing about last night.  He hasn’t been happy about me getting involved with you out of concern for my safety since day one, and now the problems are getting big enough he can’t stand by anymore.”

You could have gone into the strange power structure between you, Levi, and Erwin, how you answered to them but were also somewhat independent, at least with this, how Levi monitored you and Erwin made the final decisions, but you’d only told Emery about Levi because he’d been there that night when you’d met the kid face to face, and you hadn’t even told Emery Levi’s name in order to protect them if things went sideways with Emery.

And besides, Levi was the one who wanted to give Emery a ‘reality check’, and since you didn’t know how exactly he was going to do that, you were going to play your cards close to your chest in the meantime, at the very least so you didn’t accidentally ruin something for whatever Levi had planned.  You were just here to give Emery the heads up and a little bit of preparation in meeting Levi.

Emery, however, only seemed more confused by your statement.  “Why is he risking his safety to come up here and talk to me himself, rather than you simply being the one to say whatever needs said?  If this is about last night, you’re the one helping me, shouldn’t you be the one talking with me about what comes next?”

“Because it’s more than that.  Because he wants to meet you himself and get a first hand understanding of the situation and the person I’m trying to help before his part in deciding what comes next.  Because he’s of the opinion that I’m too close to this to effectively have this conversation, and…I agree with him.”

That was fear you could see starting to creep into his eyes.  The way his foot stopped its slow bounce under his crossed legs, the way his lower lip drew in like he was resisting the urge to start worrying it between his teeth, the way he drew in a breath he didn't fully release as the realization started to settle over him; all of it indicated that the severity of what was about to happen was starting to fall over him.

“This is sounding more and more like a conflict or a fork in the road kind of thing.  Are…are you…considering leaving me to fend for myself again?”

There was a shake in his voice that made your gut clench and your throat close, momentarily thrown back to the dark corner of the damp hovel you'd called home in Stonewood you used to curl up in when the emotions and loneliness was too much to bear enough to be functional.

…Levi was right.  You saw too much of yourself in Emery to be the one to have this conversation with him if you were getting emotional just hearing the fear of abandonment starting to creep into his voice.  You didn't think you had it in you to be the kind of firm he needed right now.

“That's entirely up to what happens when we have this conversation, and what comes of it,” you said softly.  “But there's not much I can really say before we do, since I don't know what's going to be said or what's going to happen.  For now, let's just focus on trying to make sure you're as ready as I can make you for being around a human that smells that good without attacking him.  I'd like for you to actually be capable of listening and having a conversation with him, and not in a blood frenzy the whole time.”

Emery seemed to be tuning some shade of green that looked extra sickley in the fire's light.  “Is his blood really that tempting?”

“To me, it's the best kind out there.  But that may be my relationship with him and how I see him.  It might not be so intense for you–hopefully not, anyway–but he still is alluring, even when he's not bleeding, we know from experience with not friendly vampires.  Which is why I still want to go over this with you.”

Walls forbid Levi's first impression of you is you trying to rip his throat out in a blood frenzy, even if that's what I've been warning him about since day one.  But if you got a whiff of him on the wall that day Maria fell and just didn't know it, and didn't attack him then, maybe we can get by and not have an incident now.

Emery got up, apparently unable to sit still with the mounting nerves as he started to pace around the fire, pulling on his fingers to pop them.  Despite the anxiety, he took a few deep breaths to compose himself, trying to calm down and focus on what you were about to tell him.  “Okay…Okay…what do I need to do?”

When you got back from your trip to see Emery, it was late evening, the sun starting to turn darker shades of blue with swaths of oranges and reds able to be seen further in the distance towards the false horizon.  It made you want to go find a good perch on the walls to watch the sky changing colors, capture the moment in your sketchbook even if the black and white of your drawings couldn’t do the colors justice in your mind.  It wasn’t the same as that one time you had sketched the horizon beyond Wall Maria, though.  Knowing there was another wall beyond your line of sight made it feel a bit more hollow, though–it didn’t have the same effect of boundless and rich unknown as the horizon beyond Maria.

Besides, there was somewhere else you needed–and wanted–to be, something else you needed–and wanted–to be doing.

So, you turned your gaze away from the colors of the sky as you started to slow your pace to something more human, coming up on the Scout’s headquarters through the forest.  There was the sound of ODM gear whirring through the woods, which made you a touch more cautious as you weaved your way through the trees, lest you get in someone’s way, get struck by falling debris, or get seen being a bit too inhuman.

A shift in the wind, however, erased the last concern, as you caught Levi’s scent carried to you on the breeze, prompting you to breathe deep and switch directions.  His presence in the woods doing ODM practice answered your question of what time it was, and also gave you a direction to head towards in order to find who you needed in order to finish your day.  The two of you needed to talk–about many different things–and after the frustrating interruption this morning and your own inability to stay awake last night ruining the chance of some much needed–uninterrupted–time together earlier, you were hoping to correct that tonight.

You refrained from putting yourself into his path while he was training.  Everyone was getting antsy with all the time that you’d spent not going out on expeditions, just waiting for something to change, practicing and drilling but not actually doing anything, needing to burn the energy.  Not to mention, with how much of that first stretch of time after the wall fell Levi spent recovering thanks to that incident with the hunters, you were sure he was still in the stage where he appreciated being able to move around and do things again, including the more routine training.

The thought of the hunters had something nag at the back of your mind, a relevant and troublesome little detail that you’d forgotten with how your focus had been elsewhere recently.

Later.  You could add that to the list for later–you didn’t want to give Levi the impression that the prep talk with Emery had gone poorly, no need for him to worry, yet–there was enough to worry as it was, and already almost too much to talk about.

You made your way back towards the treeline, but stayed deep enough in the trees that no one by the actual headquarters building would be able to see you.  Once you found the spot, you used your ability to jump much higher than normal to make your way up to a high off the ground but sturdy tree branch, sitting gearless atop it and waiting for Levi to come back through once he finished his practice.

You didn’t have anything to do with you, so you simply waited for a while, legs dangling over the edge and kicking slowly as you listened to the sounds of Levi practicing, sometimes far away, and sometimes much closer.  The whir from the cables operating, the whoosh of gas every now and then, the sound of his heart beating a bit harder than normal, grunts, the sound of legs, boots, and arms thumping across harder surfaces when he braced or kicked off something.  There wasn’t the sound of any blades being unsheathed, or titan dummies swinging through the air, so it really was just him out here right now, practicing the movements on the ODM gear itself.  You could envision what he was doing rather clearly in your mind’s eye, the way he twisted and arched through the air, how quickly he was able to weave around the trees with effortless seeming use of the cables–

You were pulled from the images in your mind when you heard him coming closer than he had while practicing, focusing back on the world around as his gear brought him closer to you–not directly to you, he hadn’t spotted you yet, but close.

Sure enough, with your enhanced sight, you spotted him headed towards the treeline off to your left before he saw you, though once you were within visual range, it seemed to only take a few heartbeats for him to spot the movement of your kicking feet and the out-of-place sight of you in uniform but without the gear perched on a tree branch so high above the ground.  As soon as he’d processed your presence, he changed course, reaching you in a matter of seconds and coming to a nimble stop on the tree branch beside you.

“How long have you been out here?” he asked, remaining standing even though you had yet to make any move to leave your perch.  There was a fine sheen of sweat on his forehead, hair a little damp seeming near the temples and nape of his neck, heartbeat still a bit quicker and breaths a bit heavier from pushing himself during his training.

A quick glance towards the sky revealed that while the light hadn’t disappeared entirely, it had gotten significantly darker since you first heard Levi in the woods, and the temperature appeared to be cooling, as well.  “Not too long.  The sun was already setting by the time I reached the woods.”

“Since you’re taking it easy in a tree branch instead of pacing a hole in my quarters, I’m guessing the talk with the kid went well?”

“More or less,” you admitted, which prompted a raised brow from him, but you waved it off, getting to your feet.  “We can talk about that once we’re settled in.  I’m assuming you haven’t ate yet, and it’ll get cold soon, so we should probably head inside before trying to talk about anything or we’ll end up here for hours.”

Levi let out a soft exhale, turning on the branch ready to take off again now that you looked like you were ready to get moving, yourself.  “You’re always fretting over me,” he grumbled, gaze turned back towards the headquarters.

“Someone should,” you returned, coming over to give him a gentle kiss on the cheek and brush your fingers against his hand–you would have given it a squeeze, but they were both still gripping the controls for the ODM.  “And I believe I’m perfectly qualified to.”

You only lingered long enough to allow Levi to return the kiss on the cheek with one of his own.  It was a swift one, since your own kiss to the cheek had been in passing as you coiled to drop back to the ground, but it still made your cheek warm and your gut squirm, glad the cooling air was able to whip passed your cheeks and help cool them back down as the forest floor rushed towards you in the drop.  Up above, you heard Levi’s ODM cables fire and start to draw him to the edge of the forest at an angle to meet you down on the ground where the trees stopped.

If there wasn’t so much you two needed to talk about, and he didn’t need to take care of himself at the moment, and you were a bit more confident about how physical you both were ready to get, you might have been tempted to act on the wild thought to pin him up against a tree for a more heated kiss, but that–what happened in his office this morning, or on the couch the evening before–that was still…new.  And was going to take a bit more figuring out–and maybe even a bit of talking–before you’d feel comfortable springing something like that on him.

Though you were certainly starting to think about it.  Especially after this morning.

Not wanting to come out of the trees and meet Levi with burning cheeks, you shook the thoughts away, focusing on the more serious topics the two of you needed to discuss, or hell, thinking about what you were going to get from the mess hall for Levi to take instead–or whether the two of you were going to risk getting interrupted again in his quarters or if you should find somewhere else to have your long private talk and…whatever else you two felt like doing once the serious stuff was out of the way.

You hoped it was something similar to this morning…

Focus!

You were glad you were the one that was the vampire with the enhanced hearing when you reached Levi at the forest’s edge, so he couldn’t hear your still-calming heartbeat as you approached.  Your hands itched to reach out and twine his into yours now that he wasn’t holding the ODM controls, but you were out on the main grounds now, and would too easily be spotted, so you kept them to yourself.  Still, Levi walked closer to you than strictly necessary, and the back of his hand brushed against yours here and there along the way, which was enough for you.  You knew it was intentional, and it put the slightest smile on your lips as you walked in comfortable silence to the mess hall.

Levi hadn’t really needed to come down and fill his own plate recently with how on top of things you’d been when it came to bringing him his meals, which meant you two got a few looks from other Scouts when you entered the room together, mostly Levi given the now-rare sighting.  You accompanying him and the two of you standing so close was normal whenever the two of you were seen around quarters, so neither of you bothered to take even a half step away.

Though you took extra care not to focus on the chatter of the room around you.  If someone was gossiping and theorizing, you didn’t want to know.

“So, where do you want to talk?  I know normally it would be in your quarters, but it’s starting to feel like we’re going for a record on how many times we can be interrupted when we’re in there,” you remarked as the two of you accepted the meager rations on your trays.  You tried to make yours look different from Levi’s without picking anything he’d rather not eat, and you were painfully aware of the lack of a kettle in the kitchens being heated for what would usually be his black tea now that it had been cut from the budget.  You’d have to heat some up yourself once you figured out where you were going to be for the night.

Levi scowled at the mention of the numerous interruptions the two of you had racked up recently, but kept moving down the line.

Neither of you commented on the fact that there was only a quarter of a roll on your trays, now, but you certainly noticed.  Already they had cut back to a quarter, when just yesterday you’d been plating half rolls.  That had to mean that they were trying to make what they had last longer.  What had changed in a day that you didn’t yet know about?

“My quarters are fine–I already talked to Erwin, earlier, so the only people that would be interrupting are people we can ignore or I can tell to fuck off,” he replied, grabbing the utensils he needed at the end of the line and stepping away from the line, you only a few seconds behind him.

You could see the squad sitting at their usual table, especially once Petra waved at you with a slightly brighter smile than normal, despite the obvious and rapid cutbacks on the rations likely glaring at everyone.  She was probably happy to see that you and Levi seemed to be on speaking terms again–and keeping to each other’s sides as usual, to boot.  You returned the wave, giving a slightly apologetic smile as Levi led your way not to the squad table, but back towards the door.  If you were going to give him your share of rations, you couldn’t exactly sit at the table and do it in front of everyone else.

Petra started to look a little put out–you and Levi hadn’t been sitting with the squad as often since the rationing got worse–but you gestured behind Levi’s back, miming with your hand a mouth talking and giving a half shrug, the apologetic smile still in place.  Her eyes lit up with understanding and relief, and she gave you a little thumbs up before turning back to the group and talking in an excited tone with the others, who had been watching the little exchange.

Well, if the rest of the squad were under the impression that the two of you were going to have a much needed talk, that might mean that was four more people you didn’t have to worry about interrupting the two of you–and almost all of the most likely candidates to be dropping by Levi’s office, thankfully.

The two of you slipped out of the mess hall without much fuss–Hange started to head your way and try to flag you down, but a few frantic hand gestures for her to stop, don’t, cut it out, shoo, and a handful of thumb jabs towards Levi’s back had her looping around to ambush Miche instead with a shit eating grin that had you convinced you were going to get ambushed by her, later.

Once you were out in the hall, you lengthened your strides just enough to come even with Levi again, resisting the urge to just start shuffling the contents of your tray to his along the way.  You also resisted any little touches, since there were a few people that the two of you had passed on your way to the mess hall and continued to see in the hall along the way.

Once you were a few halls from the mess hall, Levi suddenly broke the silence, to your surprise.  “Your hand signals could use some work.”

Immediately, your cheeks started to burn as you realized he’d caught you trying to silently signal Hange, or Petra, or both.  “You weren’t supposed to see that.”

“Flailing behind my back like that made that pretty clear.”

The sound that came out of you was somewhere between a whine and a huff.  “Well…that’s a few more people we don’t have to worry about being interrupted by,” you grumbled.  Levi simply rolled his eyes, opening the door to let you both into his quarters without another comment on the matter.

You went right to his desk, happily noting that there wasn’t any paperwork left to do as you set your tray down a bit higher than where he was going to sit so that he could get to it when he was ready.  You heard the lock click in the door to ensure you wouldn’t be interrupted before Levi crossed the room, you moving out of the way and over to the side to shimmy his tea stash out of its hiding place and start working on getting tea started for the both of you.

“No white sage,” he warned as you heard the chair scrape across the floor behind you.  Your eyebrows rose, and you glanced over your shoulder at him.

“I’m pretty sure I’m set for the next few weeks, you know, I have no intention of biting you any time soon.”

Levi didn’t elaborate further, simply started in on his food and let the request stand, which you complied to, since he had his necklace to at least protect him from any compulsion.

With a small sigh, you pulled out a black tea that didn’t have any white sage mixed into it, silently wishing you had the money for the expensive as hell vanilla right now to add to your own cup as you put a bag each in both cups and set the kettle over the fire.  “So, I suppose first thing’s first, how did the talk with Erwin go?”

“He’s not happy.”

“...I expected as much, but are there details in there that I should know about?”

“He’s worried your head’s not in the right place to handle the situation.  And while he isn’t worried about the meeting itself, he is concerned about the Military Police and the Garrison turning over the walls looking for the kid.  He can’t get anyone on the inside for the investigation, so he’s worried about us being caught in the crossfire.  No matter what, this meeting involves ultimatums–either there’s progress made, or we’re cutting the risk.”

“Which is pretty much what you told me last night,” you murmured, turning around to lean against the counter and look at Levi directly while you were waiting for the water to heat.

“What about your talk with the kid–how’d it go?” Levi asked, watching you out of the corner of his eyes.

“I didn’t sugar coat it, so he’s…stressed about it.  He’s aware that me continuing to help him is now in question, and he’s nervous about being able to control himself when you come, even with the little coaching I gave him before I left.  Which is preferable–I’d rather he be overly cautious about his control than not cautious enough.  He wanted a heads up on what kind of questions you were going to have for him.  I refrained, since I don’t even know how you want to handle this besides doing it ‘your way’.”  Your head tilted slightly to the side as you paused, appraising Levi for a moment.  “By the way, are you going to tell me anything about how you're going to handle this, or am I going to have to play it all by ear and figure out on the spot when I should intervene and when you need me to stay back?”

“If it goes well, it'll just be talking, with me in the sunlight.  If not, I'll enter the cave.  You can cut in if he’s starting to go blood crazy, but otherwise, I need you to trust me and let me handle it.”

Well, that was better than no heads up, you supposed.  At least now you knew he was thinking of a more in your face kind of direct approach if necessary, which told you to be ready to act in a split second if things went sideways.  Well, more urgently, anyway, if he entered the cave and there wasn't going to be a natural barrier from the sun.

You let out a small sigh, still worried about the whole thing and wanting to fret, wanting to keep Levi far from the vampire that lacked control, but he was right.  The situation needed to be handled, and you did trust him–you were just worried about all the ways it could go wrong.  Fretting wasn't going to do anything to help, though.

The kettle started to whistle, and you straightened up to fetch it from the fire.  “Okay, so Emery is nervous but prepped, Erwin is not happy but allowing what seems to have developed into an abrupt last ditch effort to put Emery on a sustainable course–when's our leave to do this, again?  And what's the cover story?” You tacked on, pouring a little water into one cup, then the other, swirling the teabags in the water and watching the color start to turn before filling the rest of his cup, then yours, and letting the tea steep with the occasional stir.

You heard Levi shift behind you–just a little, but enough to catch your attention and make you listen a little harder to whatever he was about to say.

“We have a day to prepare, so we're not leaving suddenly.   We have to make an appearance at one of the refugee shelter locations out that way to lend a hand and assess the situation.  And we have to be back before the weekend.”

There was a frown on your face with the declaration, head tilting as you figured in your head roughly how long the trip would take by horseback, tried to guesstimate how long the talk with Emery would take, and you had to add in a trip to a refugee camp that would warrant the travel in the more public eye.  Take that timeframe over by a day and Erwin hardly left the two of you enough time to catch a couple hours of sleep, daring to be well rested would mean pushing the envelope on when you needed to be back by.

“That doesn't give us much time to do much…why the rush back?” you asked, glancing over your shoulder at him.

“Erwin needs us close, not in another part of the wall.”

At that, you turned more fully to face Levi, studying him sharply after the comment as if you could pry the answers out of his usually so-well-guarded expressions.  “Something’s happening with the refugee situation, or the food shortage–or both.  Something I’m missing.  With rations like this, and Erwin wanting us back as soon as possible to be on hand…what is it?”

“You’ll know soon enough.  But for now, I can’t tell you.”

You didn't respond this time, simply took a moment to appraise him.

You couldn’t be in every circle, now, could you?  There were going to be things you didn’t know about.  So you let go of the thought of pushing for more, especially with the comment you would know what it was soon even if it couldn't come from him.

But now that the topic had been brought up and you were really looking at him, there was a shadow in Levi’s eyes, making them not as bright, not as blue.  A small crease between his brows that wasn’t normally there, his shoulders a little higher and pulled in from the tension he was carrying, and a bit more of a downturn to his lips than normal.  Not to mention the gloom that seemed to loom over his presence just out of immediate sight.  There was something, he’d confirmed it, but he couldn’t tell you.  How long had he known, whatever this was?  How long had he been lugging it around–and had you missed it because of the distance with your little spat, and your attention being elsewhere, recently?

Your instinct was to go over to him immediately, run your hands over his shoulder, kiss the corners of his lips and the crease between his brows, try to chase some of the shadows away.  Restraint was what you chose, instead–just for now.  He was still eating, and you had his tea in hand.  Not to mention there were still a few more serious topics to bring up.  But after…after the serious, that look on his face and whatever was hanging over him you couldn’t know about yet was going to get your undivided attention.

Dropping the topic entirely for now, you came over to gently offer him the teacup, waiting until he'd taken it before you ran the now-free hand over his shoulders and leaned down to kiss his cheek.  It was the best you could give him for now while he was finishing his meal before you pulled away, claiming a seat on his couch and starting in on your own cup of tea.

There was a silence after that, one that felt comfortable and content despite the topics the two of you had just been discussing, and the unknown you were aware of but couldn't get answers for.  There were a few more serious things you wanted to touch on, but it could wait until he finished his meal and the two of you were more comfortably situated.  Especially since what remained mostly had to do with the two of you, specifically, and that didn’t feel like a conversation to be had while you moved about the room or from the other side of a desk like it was Scout business.

Considering how many times you wondered it, you two should probably talk about what exactly the two of you were, but you didn’t think either one of you were prepared to answer that, yet.  Everything was too…new, still.  There were too many simple things you were figuring out and growing accustomed to, and the brief hiccup where Levi had withdrawn had temporarily put a wrinkle in things that required adjusting all over again while the two of you smoothed things back out.

A bit sooner than you had been expecting, you heard Levi get up from the desk, footsteps making quick work of the space between his desk and the couch before he appeared in your direct line of sight, effectively pulling you out of the contemplative state you’d slowly started to drift into as he dropped onto the couch with a sigh that normal ears wouldn’t have been able to hear.  To your surprise, he didn’t pause once he was on the couch, but pivoted and started to lower himself towards you while face up, prompting you to swallow the last bit of tea in your cup quickly so you could set it aside and out of the way, opening your lap up for him to rest his head.  Much to your amusement, he almost looked like he was on the brink of pouting, arms folded across his chest as he settled in, a small patch of his cheeks starting to look a little flushed, eyes closed so he didn’t have to see your amusement, and the slightest frown on his face even though he was certainly making himself comfortable.  He was still a little tense, like when you’d asked him to do this yesterday evening, but the fact that he was initiating it in the first place was sign enough that he was comfortable with it–though the tension was probably coming from not knowing whether or not you would be comfortable with it right now, or if it was a one time special occasion thing.

You chuckled as he started to settle down with his positioning enough that you could safely put your arms down, one hand instinctively finding its way into his hair to start the gentle threading through his hair you’d been doing yesterday.  As soon as you did, you could see the tension starting to drain out of him, even with the chuckle making it clear you found something about this amusing.

“Not so ridiculous anymore, I see,” you teased him gently, earning a muttered, ‘shut up’ from him in response that got another chuckle from you, your smile easy and relaxed as you watched how he reacted to the simple touch.  How the eyes squeezed shut softened so it didn’t look forced anymore, simply like he was enjoying it, like he would drift off to sleep if you kept going; how the small frown on his face was starting to go away as well, the corners of his lips smoothing out to more of a neutral expression.  The crease between his eyes slowly started to disappear as well, and more of his upper body weight rested against your lap, head tilted back so his face was looking up at you.  It also opened his neck up to you enough the marks from your usual feeding could easily be seen, but you were more focused on his facial expressions, the tension slowly bleeding out of him as your fingers gently threaded through his hair, ran from the part in the front back until your fingers were bumping into your thigh, and back.

Your other hand started resting on the back of the couch, but you felt it would be more comfortable resting at your side.  However, since Levi was currently stretched out where you would normally rest your hand…

There was a moment of hesitation, only because you still had yet to stumble across what level of intimacy was too far for Levi–or perhaps you were going so slow that the line was naturally moving further and further back before you could even reach it.  Still, you lowered your elbow into the gap between the couch and his side, and then very carefully rested your forearm little at a time across his abdomen.  You felt a small tremble beneath your arm at the initial contact, then a brief tension that went through his whole body and had you pausing before his continued silence and lack of pulling away made you feel comfortable with finishing laying it along his middle.  After a few long moments of simply running your fingers through his hair and letting your arm rest across his middle, Levi’s arms unfolded, and while one arm stayed laying haphazardly across his chest, the other reached down to twine his fingers into yours before resting the joined hands at his side.  The warmth from the moment that had been residing in your chest spread to what felt like every inch of you at that, your smile wide and heart fluttering for a moment before it calmed back down at a pace that seemed to match that brief tension flooding back out of Levi.

Not wanting to shatter the gentle moment he’d initiated, especially since he had just started initiating these little intimacies, you didn’t immediately bring up the last few things on your mind.  It was tempting to believe this little action of Levi’s answered one of your main questions you wanted to bring up, but you figured you should probably still ask, just to be sure.  So far, save Levi shutting you out briefly, you had been damn good at your communication with him–even before this budding more intimate relationship with him.  That was not a streak you wanted to break.  Communication and trust were two large cornerstones of this relationship, and you weren’t going to skimp anywhere on either value.

So, after relishing in the silent moment long enough you were worried even rarely-sleeps Levi would fall asleep if it went on any longer, you finally spoke up.

“I’m assuming with the way the past twenty-four hours have gone, we are, but I still want to ask just to make sure…we’re okay now, yes?” you asked him quietly, peering down at him and waiting for his reaction.

There was a beat of silence as he considered your question, and then a reassuring squeeze of your hand in answer before he opened his eyes to gaze up at you.  “We’re okay,” he confirmed quietly, causing a cool wave of relief to seep through you to hear it voiced out loud.

“Still a shitty situation with the kid, and…”  there was a moment of hesitation that you waited patiently during as Levi sought the right words for what he wanted to add.  “I’m still worried about the danger it’ll put you in.  And with all this shit happening we might need to revisit being reckless.  Calling it calculated or taking an opportunity doesn’t change when a move was actually risky or impulsive.”

You felt a touch of shame coloring your cheeks at the comment.  You’d defended your choice about helping Emery as calculated and opportunistic, if a bit risky, to Erwin, but Levi knew it was more emotional than that.  He knew that back in Sedalia it had been a snap decision based on emotion over logic–impulsive, and you’d doubled down on it and had been trying to just make it work ever since then.  The logic had been applied after the fact to try and dig you out of the trouble while carrying Emery out with you.

“I’ll admit that taking on Emery was more of an impulsive thing, and the planning was done on the spot as things unfolded–”

Levi interrupted you before you could get much further.  Again, he knew.  Starting to say it was possibly more of a formality than a necessity.  “Your heart may be in the right place with the kid, but you’ve got to use your head–you can’t do that impulsive shit.  That’s how people get killed in this life.”

There was a harder edge in Levi’s eyes as he said it, but beneath it, a flash of something buried deep that was clawing its way to the surface with the topic.  You didn’t brush off his attempt to give you words of wisdom–you’d already acknowledged that he had more experience than you in certain areas.  Levi wasn’t a fool, and you valued his input.  So right now, seeing that something stirring in the depths of his gaze that was riveted on you made you reflective, instead.

How many people had he seen die because of impulsive actions, unnecessarily risky decisions?  You knew he was worried about you, but what if you’d been causing more than that, what if you’d been scaring him with some of your actions recently?  Maybe all of this was about more than just the danger of the Emery situation: what if he was scared this kind of decision making would bleed into other areas–like out with the Titans–and cost you everything?  His early perception that you were nigh invincible when he’d first uncovered what you were had been shattered with recent events, he knew there were risks out there, he knew you could be hurt or killed, you’d told him yourself during that interrogation that the Titans still posed a risk to you in extreme cases or if you got careless or too brash.

The hand that had been running through his hair since he’d laid down in your lap moved so that it could instead rest against his cheek in reassurance.  “Levi, listen to me.”  You took care to keep your voice soft, but your tone held a firm resolve in it meant to reassure him that you were being serious about what you said, that you weren’t simply giving him platitudes.  “I know what I’m doing is risky, like we’ve talked about in the past.  I know that this was more of an emotional decision when I resolved to help Emery, but I’ve been doing my best to be smart about this from here on out without having to abandon him.  I know there are hunters after him.  I know the Garrison has a personal vendetta against him–for good reason.  I know the Military Police have gotten involved now.  I know going down into the Underground with him is risky to me as well, that it reopens the door to threats that we were trying to shut out.  I know that every time I go to visit him, and every time I go out on a hunt with him, I risk being there at a moment he’s caught by any of those three parties.  I understand that there is risk to me–and a great deal of it–with the situation as it is right now, and that change needs to happen to lessen that risk if we’re going to get anywhere.  And I understand that if Emery isn’t willing to be flexible enough to work with me, to learn what I’m trying to teach him, then it’s not worth the rise in risk and I’ll have to back off and leave him to fend for himself, as much as I don’t want to.  I understand that it was an emotional decision I made with heavy risks, and there is a very real possibility that if something doesn't change, the situation will reach a point where I can't help him without doing more harm than good on a larger scale. And I know you and Commander Erwin are of the opinion that I've already reached the point where I should have backed out by now.  But right now, as slight of a chance as it's starting to seem, I can still try to help him, if he listens.  And as long as there's that chance, I'm going to keep trying to help him.”

As expected, he didn’t seem to be entirely assured, since the risk still existed, but your acknowledgement of the specific risks to you, and the acknowledgement that it could get too dangerous to try to help and you would back off when it did, seemed to put something in his mind at ease, at least, and the hard edge in his gaze was softening again.

“Like I've said…just don't do anything shitbrained.  Think next time, don't just jump right to commitment,” he remarked, getting in one last chastisement–hopefully it would be the last one you needed to be on the receiving end of for this topic.

“While we're talking about potential future problems, or at least avoiding them,” you started to say, the statement stopping Levi from relaxing back into the silence again and prompting a raised brow.  You traced the outer edge of his lower lip as you considered your phrasing and tried to get him to relax without directly saying it wasn't anything bad you were about to say.  Just a little request.  The motion partially did its job, as you heard a slight catch in his breath as your hand and arm seemed to tingle at the light motion and the gentle press against the more plump lower lip.

“I'm okay with you needing space to think things through sometimes–I'm used to it by now.  And I'm fully ready to give you that space if and when you need it.  But next time–and realistically, there will likely be a next time–please don't shut me out like that again?  It's miserable for both of us, and not at all productive, it just lets things fester and…and I prefer when we're like this.  When we can talk about things.  Hell, I'll even take some heated arguments when certain topics come up over a stoic silent treatment.”

Levi's gaze was riveted to you, and you knew that even though the intimate touch was probably distracting, he still listened intently to what you had to say and took it in.  “I’ll remember that.”

“I should certainly hope so,” you mused lightly, hand still on his cheek instead of in his hair and starting to lightly stroke along his cheekbone.

“Is there any more depressing shit you want to bring up or are you going to finally kiss me?” Levi asked in response, cocking an eyebrow at you in an almost challenging manner you knew would melt away the moment you started kissing him.

“Depends, are you going to bite me again?”

The challenging air vanished almost instantly, and the light flush that had crept into his cheeks when he first laid down came back a bit stronger at the reminder as he averted his gaze, the hand still twined with yours tightening its grip.  “Shut up,” he mumbled, and you couldn’t help the amusement you felt at his embarrassment over something he did twice, and so confidently the second time.

Your fingers lightly traced his jaw, and you managed to keep any laughter in, though you were grinning down at him.  “Hey, it’s a legitimate question.  It was quite startling, I’ll admit–”

“You wouldn’t shut the fuck up even though Eld was right outside, so I did something,” Levi grumbled, cheeks continuing to flush and squirming slightly on your lap self-conciously.

“And how did that work out for you?”

He frowned, and actually met your gaze again, expression pulling into a scowl whose effect was ruined by the pink cheeks.  “You’re the one who moaned, how was I supposed to know you were going to react that damn loudly?” he accused.

“I can think of someone else that moans quite loudly when they’re–”

Pink cheeks quickly turned burning red, and he cut you off before you could finish the sentence, looking away once again and appearing so exasperated and flustered it was a miracle he wasn’t stumbling over his words in his rush to get you to hush.  “For fuck’s sake, just say you didn’t like it, you don’t have to tease so much.”

Ah, too far with the teasing, then.  Time to reassure and soothe, then, lest he get the wrong impression.

Gently, you tilted his head back in towards you and leaned down to kiss him just above a furrowed eyebrow.  “I never said I didn’t like it.”

Levi’s gaze snapped back towards you, eyes slightly wider to reflect his surprise, though the blush wasn’t lessening.  Your fingers found their way back up into his hair, your motions circular, relaxing, and hopefully reassuring enough to help keep him from tensing back up.

“I liked it.  Though maybe not the best move if you’re wanting me to be quiet–hence the teasing.  I certainly wouldn’t complain if you bit back more often.”

Levi scowled again, but there wasn’t as much irritation in it this time, and his gaze remained on you.  “Asshole.  Didn’t have to tease so much.”

“Sorry, I couldn’t resist, since you interrupted me with your teeth last time.”

His eyes narrowed on you, and you could have sworn you could see him weighing in his mind if he should bite you right now with the attitude you were giving him.  The fact it seemed to be more of a motivator than a punishment seemed to win out, and he let it go, reaching out tentatively and with more intensive focus than he probably wanted to admit with his free hand to gently run the back of his fingers under your chin, causing a soft sigh to escape your lips.

Standoffish and crass words juxtaposed with such tender gestures and what seemed like any excuse to be near?  Yeah, you were back on good terms again, and any worry that there might be some form of lingering friction because of the Emery situation evaporated from its dark corner in your mind.

“Before we get caught up in the moment, one more thing I wanted to ask–last one, I promise,” you remarked, adding the last part quickly and with a faint smile when you saw exasperation spark in his eyes.  “And besides, it’s on topic.”

Gently, your hand wandered once more away from his hair, down his jaw, lightly cupped around the back and side of his neck, moving down towards his collar.  “I just thought I’d ask ahead of time, since sometimes things get a bit more…heated, when we have more than a few moments to ourselves.  Are you okay with…”  It was your turn for your face to burn, doing your best not to let yourself choke on the actual question itself with the nerves squirming in your gut and trying to work its way up to strangle you into awkward silence.  “...with me…touching you more?”

Levi took in your flushed face, how it was your turn to stumble over the words with some self consciousness, and took a moment to study you closely before he pressed for a bit of clarification.  “...How so?”

“Nothing big, I’m not talking–I just mean…something like…like this,” you remarked tentatively, lowering your eyes to track your own movements as you let your hand dip lower than his shoulders without his prompting for the first time, fingers lightly trailing down the center of his chest until you were just above his navel.  Then, your hand flattened and pressed gently against the solid muscle you could feel beneath the fabric of his shirt, slowly running that hand back up before doing a slow sweep over his pectoral, thumb trailing behind and doing light repetitive strokes along the upper curve of the muscle.

You felt a slight quiver beneath your palm when your hand slid down to his navel and back up, could feel his eyes burning into you with their intensity and hear his heart rate pick up, hear the soft and pleased sigh that caught in his throat and he tried to hold as if worried it would break the moment while you came back up and he waited to see what else you might do.  He relaxed back into your lap at the touch, head heavier against your thighs.

You assumed, based on the reaction, that was a green signal for you to continue, that he was nothing but welcoming for more touches like this.  More intimate, more lingering–nothing too much, yet, but this was okay.  Running your hands along his chest to explore and feel above the fabric of his shirt, possibly his back, too, when you had access (unlike right now).  Maybe you could get away with resting a hand on his knee under tables from now on, as well.

And maybe, this little bit more would translate to kissing as well.

Your touch lightened, fingers trailing slowly back down the center of his chest.  This time you were more confident in the gesture, feeling every dip and crest of the toned muscles beneath from years of fighting and ODM gear.

As your fingers explored new territory much more carefully, you let your gaze drift back up to Levi’s face, catching a glimpse of his eyes half-lidded and appearing a silvery blue in the shadows of the room, gaze currently still locked on your fingers as they trailed along his chest, a slight part in his lips as if that gasp you’d heard him catch and hold was threatening to break through any moment, and you saw the smooth bob of his adam’s apple as he lifted his gaze and caught you watching him.  Before either of you could speak and potentially break the moment, you leaned down to finally kiss him again, eager to discover how much deeper it would go now.

There was still the lingering taste of the black tea on his lips, a taste that had become so familiar and so entwined with him that it brought comfort and reassurance once you tasted it.  Levi was apparently eagerly awaiting the kiss, because there was no delay in its return.  His lips met yours with eagerness, the sigh he'd been holding evaporating into your parted lips as you went deep at first contact.  The hand that had been resting under your chin and starting to trail a light line down your throat moved to naturally tangle in your hair, holding you closer to him while his lips hungrily met yours.

Still explorative, you let your tongue swipe briefly along his lower lip when you trapped it in your kiss, causing a shudder to race through his body and a soft moan that disappeared within the next kiss.  Each gentle brush of your hand along his chest and abdomen caused the slightest of trembles in him, greater when you traced your fingers along his abdomen, or lightly along the very center of his chest–it took more control than you wanted to admit to resist brushing your fingers along the arch of his pectorals where his nipples would be, feeling like that might be a little much if he ended up being sensitive there for where the two of you were in terms of intimacy right now.

His fingers untwined from yours, and as much as you hated the sudden lack of his hand entwined in yours, it found its place in the small of your back, encouraging you to start shifting position to be closer to him on the couch with how he seemed to be attempting to hold you closer to him.  Tentatively, his hand started to travel up your back as you shifted to try and stretch out beside him without taking up his space on the couch, his fingers splayed and carefully exploring the curves as he held you partially pressed against his side and partially atop his chest, his head no longer propped up and now lying against the couch cushion.  At least it still gave you a good position to kiss him deeply from, even if the attempt to both squeeze onto the couch without invading each other’s space too much but without breaking the make-out was an awkward angled mess from the waist down you were both attempting to ignore.

Still, you could feel his heart beating in his chest as you allowed him to hold you so close to him, a soft hum building in your chest as you pressed deeper in your kiss, testing to see if he’d let your tongue delve a bit deeper, your teeth trapping one of his lips with a bit more fervor.  He was hesitant at first, you could feel the hitch in the flow as he seemed to mentally puzzle out how he felt about it.  He allowed it–for now, with hesitance–so you didn’t push it much further for the moment.  You were content to enjoy the taste of him, the depth of it, the hunger burning in you that had nothing to do with vampirism with every touch and press, the security and warmth with the way he held you oh-so-close to him, his hand doing a slow map of the curves of your back and sides.

Levi’s confidence in what he was doing was returning again, the hesitance from the depth you brought to the kiss and the new things you’d been slowly trying melting away as he figured out how to meet you in stride with it through a bit of trial and error while letting you lead–not that you had a clearer picture of how this worked.  Still, you were pretty sure it was pride you felt sparking inside you alongside the thrill of excitement when you felt Levi’s teeth graze your lips like they had earlier, followed by a quick swipe of his tongue that was almost fast enough to be brushed off as accidental.  The fact that he did it a second time was what made it obvious it wasn’t an accident, and a moan escaped your control as his tongue dared to venture as deep as yours had wandered earlier.  His hands tightened their grip on you, while yours sought out more of him, one hand tangling in his hair while the other dipped closer to his waist at his side before planting in the couch edge beside him to give you the leverage you needed to try and shift positions slightly.

There was a slight break, a gasp for air from both of you as you hovered more over him, stomach brushing against his, getting ready to swing a leg over to try and shift to straddling him.  A shudder went through Levi, and his grip tightened, but this time it was to hold you back and away, just enough that you couldn’t silence him with a kiss and he could look at you, halting the movement before your legs could lock around his waist.  His heart was beating faster, and he looked…not panicked, but definitely flustered, and he seemed to struggle to reach for the right words to explain what had just caused the interruption that was the source of the question in your gaze.

“Wait–wait, not yet, none of that–sex–it's–shit, just…”  Miraculously, there was only the slightest blush on his cheeks and his ears, but he may have been too pressed to try and explain to be the embarrassed kind of flustered.  He struggled with the words, one of your hands resting just above his heart and feeling it continue its racing pace as he fumbled with what he was trying to explain.  “Not right now, It’s too–right now, it’s too…much.”

Even though he finally settled on the words, he didn’t at all seem satisfied with how he’d put it, like it wasn’t exactly what he wanted to say, but it was all he could manage in the moment.  But you were pretty sure you understood what he was getting at with just this bit, anyway.

You were admittedly a little thrown off by the voicing of the possibility of sex being on the table, even if it was a voicing just to set it aside.  You hadn't even thought of it as on the table in the first place, hadn't thought of it as an option yet, and it hadn't been on your mind as you'd been shifting your position to be a bit closer.

Not yet, anyway.  And now that he said it, you couldn't help but to think of it.  You couldn't help but wonder what he'd look like, mind presenting you with an image pieced together with moments from your kisses and the times you'd fed off him, your imagination filling in the gaps to give you mental imagery of Levi panting, head thrown back against the couch, hair cascading backwards and down to the couch cushion, heartbeat racing in your ears, eyes squeezed closed as they rolled from pleasure, eyebrows arched in a curve akin to his back coming off the couch as an unrestrained moan made it passed his lips–

Fuck.

You hadn't thought of it until he said it, and now your cheeks were burning as you desperately tried to shove the thought out of your head, shutting down the imagined sounds in your ears and trying to snuff out the stray thought of how unrestrained would he be if the two of you weren't pacing yourselves walking a blurry line in regards to intimacy right now that made both of you hold back in different ways.

No, no.  You hadn't even been considering it yourself before he mentioned it, he just said he wasn't comfortable with sex yet, so you didn't even want to think about it–especially not right now.  It was the first line–temporary or not–Levi had put down between the two of you, and you sure as hell were going to respect it, even if it took a couple seconds to wrestle down the images the mention of the potential future sex with Levi immediately coaxed to mind.

You'd even said yourself before trying this that you weren't thinking of doing anything too much yet.  You two…weren't there yet.  As much as the thought of Levi in the throes of sex made your heart pound in your ears and a flush of excitement try to flood through your system, sex was not the intention tonight, anyways.  You just wanted to test the intimacy behind closed doors between you two a little more, wanted to give both of you time to readjust to each other again considering how fresh and new your resolving the issues with one another was.

Not yet.  He was right.  Despite the reaction you had to the thought of it, sex was far too much right now.  Not yet.

Levi had stilled entirely beside and underneath you, holding his breath and watching every shift of your facial expression as he tried to read how you were reacting to his request, if he needed to keep trying to find the better words for what he wanted, trying to see before you spoke if he'd upset you with his request.

 “Okay,” you said simply in response, answering him hopefully before he felt the need to start explaining himself.

Levi’s gaze was trained on yours, searching every flicker of emotion he could see there.  He didn't look entirely convinced for some reason.  “…It is?”

“Yes, it is, Levi, I promise.  I don’t feel like we’re quite there yet, myself,” you responded, and when his expression seemed to turn even more dubious, you expanded a bit more on what you meant.   “It certainly feels like we might be, sometimes, but…I’d rather we continue figuring this part out, first, before we try tackling that beast.”

Levi’s gaze was still fixed on you, though the fact he had started to relax once again helped reassure you that he was accepting your explanation.  His hand shifted from its position tangled in your hair to instead carefully cup your cheek, thumb stroking along the arch of your cheekbone in slow, repetitive motions. You could have sworn there was a light of…perhaps a touch of amusement in his eyes, and this knowing look to boot that you couldn’t for the life of you understand why it was there.

“...What?” you finally asked after a few moments spent just like that, with him looking at you that way, cupping your cheek, stroking the arch of your cheekbone…

“Your eyes are red,”  He responded simply.  “Fading, now, but…they were turning red.”

You felt your cheeks heat at the heavy dose of implication in that seemingly innocent comment.  That little biological trait you couldn’t shake, at that time as the two of you were discussing sex?  Damned vampirism, giving you away like that.  He could probably guess pretty easily just where your mind went, and just how deeply those thoughts had been rooted in emotion.  It didn’t take much at all to figure out why your eyes had started turning red, and you really hoped he didn’t press on it.

He probably wasn’t going to, given that he was the one to state that it was too early for sex.

The hand removed itself entirely from your cheek, and you started to sit back as Levi shifted to get up.

“You should head back to your room.  Since you made it pretty clear we were going to talk, they’re going to ambush you in the morning.  You should be in your room, not missing from it.”

He had a point. You hated to go already, but Hange and Petra were almost certainly going to ask how the talk went and if you and Levi were on good speaking terms again as soon as possible. Saying they’d wait until morning may even be the optimistic idea of when they’d come looking for you.  If they knew you’d been with Levi ‘making up’ and you were mysteriously not in your room the next morning…

Yes.  You needed to head back to your room.

You were pulled out of your thoughts by a gentle kiss on the corner of your lips, coaxing you back to the present gently but quickly as Levi spoke again.  “You’re pouting like a child–aren’t you sixty something?” he jabbed.

You rolled your eyes at the comment, returning the kiss with one of your own on his cheek.  “Technically speaking, though I doubt you want to go over what I think about my age all over again.  It’s fine, I’ll head back.  We’re going to be spending practically the rest of the week together, anyway.”

“On business,” Levi reminded you.  “There won’t be time for much else.”

“I know, but still,” you murmured, resisting the urge to reach out and touch his knee, to try something else that could be taken as some kind of initiation or trying to explore a bit more instead of leaving.  Maybe he didn’t mean for you to leave immediately, but you were going to take it as a dismissal. If you didn’t, then you were likely to end up continuing to look for excuses to stay.

Still reluctant, but now resolved enough to move, you got up from your seat on the couch, looking back at Levi briefly.  “I’ll see you first thing in the morning tomorrow, yes?”

Levi’s brows rose slightly.  “Have I said otherwise?”

Rolling your eyes, you did allow yourself a gentle brush against his shoulder, giving it a small squeeze before you started making your way to leave.  “Goodnight, Levi.”

“Goodnight,” you heard him answer quietly a few moments before the door shut behind you.

You wished you could linger longer in the moment, but he was right about needing to be in your own room, you didn’t want to risk being caught out of it when everyone knew where you had been the night before.

However, you had the feeling the next few days were going to be…trying.  You doubted you’d have much time to even think about anything else once you reached Emery, and who knew what waited for you upon your return that had Erwin giving you such a small window to get this done and return inside.

That little moment on the couch was just going to have to tide you over until the two of you had more than just a few moments to spare, however long that was going to be.

Next Chapter---->

(Strikethrough's couldn't be tagged)

Everything Tags:   @antistellxr 

Levi Tags:  @clary-quinn @ayatosmlktea @whalerus @sunny-flo @thirstyforsometea @hauntedhousecat @peaches-and-clouds @imaginationmess @wubbawubwub04 @lollobos @pasteldays @itsmeaudriee @macaronnv @tokyo-banana @apuci-kis-szornye @momowantscats @yellowminb @ashikothedog @notgoodforlife @spnwinchestersd @xxdarkdarlingxx @joy-the-reader

Levi found the work going by much faster, more comfortably, with her there…and not just because she was doing a small portion of it for him.  The pages went by faster, the work didn't feel so tiring, and suddenly there were only a few stray papers in the piles she'd sorted for him left to do.  Y/N had wandered over to the couch once she'd done what she could, laying down with a soft whoosh of air that barely resembled a sigh.  She didn't speak while Levi continued to work, the candlelight growing smaller and the shadows longer until Levi decided enough was enough.  What remained were pages he could do in the morning, there were other things he could be doing right now–and wanted to do.

Levi carefully removed his cravat, fingers brushing against the bandage he'd forgotten was hidden beneath.  It definitely stopped bleeding by now, he could probably take the damned thing off.

It was a slight detour, but he came back minus a jacket, cravat, and bandage, the small bite wound properly cleaned up and hardly noticeable, and Y/N was still stretched out on the couch, having not made a sound or so much as twitched.

…Dammit, she's asleep, isn't she?

Levi didn't even have to come all the way around the couch to confirm it, he could peer over the edge and see that she was passed out asleep, lips parted, head turned into the cushions and pillowed under one arm, breathing slow and deep.

So much for spending a bit of one on one time together before getting some sleep.  He’d been hoping to have a bit of time to set aside business and the serious stuff and simply reassure himself that she was all right and with him, but if this was the most he would get…

His sigh was admittedly a disappointed one, even as he leaned against the edge of the couch with folded arms and watched her for a few moments.  How comfortable did she have to be around him to fall asleep on the not-that-comfortable couch that quickly, and with so little fuss?

She’d come a long way to get where she was now.  To go from scared barely adult just turned vampire driven underground, to now a cornerstone member of the Scouts (even if it was behind closed doors, only), improving the safety of the formations so they didn’t lose as many people, making plans that actually sounded plausible with Hange to help them capture and learn more about titans, she had friends, she had him–whatever they were, Levi still didn’t know what to label it.  She’d come here to find a way to make her abilities as a vampire helpful to other people, to make the lives she’d had to take in order to survive and stay strong enough to survive worth something, and so far, it seemed she was in step with that goal.

And he wasn’t going to let anyone threaten to destroy that progress, not when she’d crawled her way here over the past few decades and was just starting to get a taste of freedom and happiness again, despite the insanity of all the ways the world seemed to be going to shit right now.

Gentle Reminder (and notice to those of you who weren't around to see the update): I'm giving you teasers for the next chapters when I FINISH the next chapters since its been so long and I don't want to leave you all high and dry while I continue to write, but updates are still a little while off, since I'm aiming to get on a schedule and want to build up 3 or 4 chapters before I start posting again to give me some writing breathing room. BUT--One teaser and chapter down.

Everything Tags:   @antistellxr 

Levi Tags:  @clary-quinn @ayatosmlktea @whalerus @sunny-flo @thirstyforsometea @hauntedhousecat @peaches-and-clouds @imaginationmess @wubbawubwub04 @lollobos @pasteldays @itsmeaudriee @macaronnv @tokyo-banana @apuci-kis-szornye @momowantscats @yellowminb @ashikothedog @notgoodforlife @spnwinchestersd @xxdarkdarlingxx @joy-the-reader

Wings in the Dark Tags: @regalillegal @animeluver23 @theshylittleelfgirl @queenthorin1 @dilucs-thighs @lady-ragnvindr @subtlepjiminie @queenondeezmatatas​​ @linxiajei17 @levisbebe @toni-jones @pinkberrymilktea @ascybous @emmaandemmel @wolfie3616 @aot-fanatic @jencyib @zombiukas @notgoodforlife​ @syviis @captainyanag1

*Reader's POV*

For the first time since Levi first appeared in your life, he didn't disappear shortly after arriving.  He stayed with you until his fever finally broke.

Keeping him hidden from your mother was nothing short of a miracle.  You didn’t want him getting discovered and sent somewhere else to recover, because what he needed was to be here after what happened to him--he wanted to be here, too, from what you could see.

In order to hide him, he had to stay in your tent the entire time, which you declared your fort to your mother and were allowed to keep as long as it didn’t get in the way, and you washed everything when you were done.  That meant you had to shift it off your bed and make it a little smaller, but Levi still had plenty of room, and you could still fit underneath.

You didn’t do much while he was in the tent, though.  He was sick, and he spent his time with you recovering, wrapped up in blankets and getting medicine every twelve hours while you kept up a steady stream of water and occasional Gatorade to help him get better.  You would crawl into the tent and lay down next to him when you had the time, telling him stories and simply keeping him company.  You strategically smuggled him bowls of canned soup when your mom wasn’t home because of work or she had to make a grocery run, so he wasn’t going hungry.

There was one point when his fever got really bad, the point your mom used to tell you was right before it broke when you were sick.  You spent the whole time next to him, gently sponging his head and murmuring quiet reassurances and stories to him while he shivered and moved restlessly, occasionally murmuring out feverish nonsense, calming slightly when you would brush the hair from his face.  Since it calmed him down, you kept doing it, running your fingers through his hair while you talked softly to him and he rested.  With how much he slept in the couple days he was with you, you wondered how much rest he actually got back home.

There were a few heart-stopping moments when you thought your mother might catch you hiding Levi in your room, but you managed to play it off each time, either by claiming you were playing a game in your tent, or hiding Levi under the blankets, or claiming it was a kids only tent, and giants weren’t allowed. Typical kids stuff to keep the tent area off limits.

When Levi’s fever finally broke, he was still out of it and drained, but you could tell by a simple touch on his forehead that he wasn’t burning up anymore.  It was a relief, with a pressure lifting off your chest you hadn’t known was there to see that he was going to be okay--at least in regards to his health.  You still stayed with him, though, curled up next to him in the tent and even falling asleep there beside him.

When you woke up the morning after his fever broke in the tent, he was gone, and at long last, you finally questioned what happened, and considered the impossibility of his knack of disappearing into thin air.  No longer did you think it could have simply been from inattention on your part, or that it was in any way normal. Especially because you knew that he was not in any state to have gotten up and left on his own before you woke up.

So what was happening?

*Levi's POV*

Levi sat cross-legged in the open space he’d recently managed to find, hands loosely held together in his lap as he gazed down at the grassy ground, sunlight shining down on him from the hole above him.  He was lost in his own thoughts, confused and faced with an impossible reality, which was why he’d sought some refuge in a quiet space by himself, complete with fresh air filtering down from the surface.

He’d managed to make it up to the surface.  Briefly, but after what happened to him, he was extra determined to force his way to the surface if he had to.

Based off how well Y/N had lived, Levi had assumed that she would be somewhere within Wall Sina, and all he would have to do would be to evade the Military Police long enough to find a street familiar to where she lived.  He covered quite a bit of distance looking for her home, or at least something familiar from his time with her.  The longer he spent topside, though, the more he realized nothing looked like the place Y/N lived, even at the centermost, opulent part of Sina where the wealthiest lived.

She wasn’t up there.  All this time, he’d thought she was somewhere just above his head waiting for him, when really…

Levi let himself get caught and thrown back after that realization.  Originally he’d thought if he found her, they might be able to figure something out so he could stay.  That went out the window when he realized she wasn’t there.  If it wasn’t for the fact that he still wanted to live somewhere other than the Underground, somewhere clean and free of the filth underground, he might have thrown out any idea of going to the surface after realizing it wasn’t anywhere close to what he’d thought it would be.

It was still better than the Underground, and he still wanted to find a way up there.  The glaring question remained, though…

Where the hell was Y/N?  He knew all that time spent with her wasn’t some strange continuing fever dream--it was real.  He couldn’t explain it--how he got there, what sent him there, or even where there was, but he knew it was real, that she was real.

Where was he supposed to go from here?

Levi closed his eyes, running his hand slowly through his hair as he tried to grapple what he knew and figure it out from there.  Carriages that didn’t need horses, smooth stone streets, intricate clean water systems, colorful, variety of foods easily on hand, light without fire inside homes…

And how had he gotten there in the first place?  When...it was happening, it had been like he was being thrown between reality and a nightmare, except he’d been painfully aware that both were reality.  But he hadn’t moved from either spot as he went back and forth.  He’d stayed in the same pinned position in one reality, and was held in her arms in another, with no time passing when he’d...jump between the two.

None of this made sense to him.  He thought he was going to be sick again, or at the very least give himself a painful migraine.

The smell in the air changed, the breeze and natural sunlight disappeared, and Levi lifted his head instinctually, opening his eyes to find himself cross legged on Y/N’s bedroom floor, looking up at her as she turned from where she’d been getting up from her desk, freezing in place when she saw him just...sitting there.

And the mystery continued.

Anger rose inside him--not at her, more at the situation he found himself in and the complete, nonsensical nature of it all--and he got to his feet before she could react, his eyes stormy.

“What the fuck is this?” Levi snapped, arm spread out to indicate the world around them.  Knowing that simple sentence could easily be taken out of context and misconstrued with how out of the blue it was, he pressed on before she could answer the first question.  “None of this is normal, it’s not even possible!  A person doesn’t blink and find themselves somewhere else entirely--and I don’t even know where here is, because it sure as hell isn’t in the Walls!”

She hesitated in front of him, teeth biting down slightly into her lower lip as she endured his outburst, concern and a reflection of his own confusion in her gaze.  “I think we need to talk.”

“You don’t say,” he said bitingly.

She ignored his sour tone, putting her hair up and heading for the door.  “C’mon--this is probably a conversation to have in private, and we’ll have a better chance of that if we’re out of the house when my mom comes home,” she said.  Levi followed with an impatient air, watching her scribble a note to her mother telling the woman she was going to be at the park before they headed out of the house, Levi falling into step beside her.

“Last time got me thinking about this whole situation, too,” she started quietly as they walked, eyes fixed forward and a small frown on her face.  “I still don’t know what happened, and I don’t expect you to tell me, but your sudden appearance and then your later disappearance, whatever happened in that clearing…”

She let out a slow breath, eyes cast downwards for a moment.  “When we were younger, I didn’t think anything of it--it was just normal for us, you know?  But after that, it was a bit of a rude wake up call.  I started thinking about what little you’ve told me about where you’re from and how much you haven’t encountered before.”  She turned to meet his gaze.  “You said you were from someplace called the Underground, right?”

Levi nodded, gaze fixed steadily on her as he waited for her to get to the point instead of ramble on about a bunch of things he already knew because he’d been the one to experience it or he’d come to the questions on his own.

“Well, I looked into it to see if I could find the place you were talking about.  I came up with things like the Underground Railroad, or a bunch of clubs, a general reference to any shady business that isn’t done in broad daylight or to anything that’s done in secret with an exclusive group, a reference to the activities in 1920s Prohibition, shows, shopping centers underground, but I couldn’t find a place called the Underground that was an actual city like you...well, vaguely described.  It doesn’t exist.”

“I live there--I’m pretty certain it exists,” Levi deadpanned, all the while trying to figure out what parts of her explanation meant.  1920s?  Surely she didn’t mean a decade--they were only in the 800s.

“Yes, for you it does, but here, it doesn’t.”

“You’re not making any sense.”

“Okay then--these walls you just mentioned back there--what did you mean by that?”

For some reason, some strange kind of dread was settling in his stomach as they spoke.  “Wall Maria, Wall Rose, Wall Sina, the three walls on the surface that keep out the Titans from destroying the rest of humanity.”

Y/N did a full stop, blinking rapidly and visibly leaning back as she processed that information as if she’d never heard of such a thing before.  The sinking feeling in Levi’s gut seemed to solidify.

“We are going to come back to that, but for now, proving my point,” she eventually said, resuming her pace.  “We have nothing like that.  Sure, there’s the Great Wall of China and what’s left of the Berlin wall, but we don’t have any Maria, Rose, Sina, walls.  The only titans I can think of are the beings that came before gods in Greek mythology.  And I’m pretty sure humanity isn’t on the brink of destruction, because there’s billions worldwide.”

Levi held out a hand to stop her, doing his best to hide just how disturbed he was right now.  Once again, he wasn’t recognizing some of the names she threw out, and what she was starting to suggest was crazy talk.  “That’s impossible.”

“That’s my point--well, what I’m trying to say is going to sound absolutely insane.  I’ve never been so glad in my life to read and watch a bunch of fiction,” she said with a slightly wistful look on her face before turning to face Levi entirely.  “I don’t think we’re from the same world--or even the same universe,” she said, throwing her arms out wide.

Levi stared at her for a few moments, long enough that she put her arms down and asked, “What?”

“You’ve lost your damn mind,” he said flatly, turning to walk away and continue down the path.  She jogged to catch back up, letting out a frustrated huff.

“I know it sounds crazy, but it’s the only explanation I’ve got--have you got something better?”  When Levi hesitated, she plowed forward.  “I know you’re real, and you know I’m real--we’ve established that by now.  You know where you come from, I know where I come from--and you’ve seen where I live, we’re here right now!  So the Underground, these walls, whatever those Titans you mentioned are, they’re real, for you, but they’re not here where I live.”

“This has to be some kind of hallucination,” he muttered, a hand pressed to his forehead.  It made sense.  Maybe he wasn’t as adjusted as he thought he was, and this was a running hallucination he’d developed in his own mind to help him cope with his shit life.

Though he knew he wasn’t smart enough to come up with half the shit he saw when he was here.

But another world?  That was insanity.  It couldn’t be possible--it couldn’t!

Y/N grabbed his shoulders and made him face her, her face suddenly filled with surprising seriousness.  “It’s not a hallucination!” she nearly shouted in a tone much harsher than he thought she might have intended for it to come out.  “We’re both real--I can feel you, you can feel me.  I’ve taken care of you, and you’ve helped me.  We’ve played together, I’ve given you food, I’ve carried you on my back.  I’m real, and you know it, just like I know you’re real despite what everyone else says.”

There were angry tears in her eyes, and for a moment, Levi got the sense that there was a lot more going on here with that exclamation than their current discussion.  He was going to have to pry into that a little more later, but right now, they had to settle on a reality.

“Say I believe your crazy theory,” he said, easily pushing off her arms with one smooth motion as he spoke.  “How the hell am I getting thrown into another world, or another universe, without any time passing in my world?  And why, for that matter?”

“Time doesn’t pass in your world when you’re here?” she asked in a puzzled voice.  Levi shifted uncomfortably.

“No.  Except once,” he muttered, looking away, though he was certain that was an exception and had more to do with bouncing between--

Shit, he was buying into this already, wasn’t he?

“I don’t know how or why, I’m not Einstein, I just know it’s happening,” she said with a huff, starting back on the path again.  The forest was coming closer, the same one they’d been in last time he thought, and a part of him recoiled inside at the thought of going back to the clearing.

He really hoped she had more tact than to try and bring them there.

“Also, why the hell aren’t you freaking out about all this?  You’re way too calm,” he scowled.

“I’ve had time to go over my theory and come to terms with it.  It’s the only explanation I have, so it’s the one I’m going with.”

Levi fell silent, frowning as he walked with her, that sinking feeling in his gut growing more prominent and defined.

If he believed her, and this was all a different world...that meant that no matter how much he clawed and fought his way up the food chain, he wasn’t going to reach this place.  All of it was...unattainable, because it didn’t exist in /his/ world, and he never got to stay in this world.

It was fucked up.

And maybe that was part of the reason why he couldn’t accept it.

No, what he couldn’t accept was that he got to be teased with glimpses into another world, of a life he was denied and could never really have.  The fucked up parts were the believable parts, what made this easier to swallow.

He could never stay, and there wasn’t anything like this for him to find in his world, so it was something he could never have shoved into his face but always slipping out of his grasp.

It fell perfectly in tune with the shit life he’d had so far.

Y/N grasped his wrist lightly, pulling him in the direction of a forest path.  He lightly pulled his wrist free this time, and she turned her head away so he wouldn’t see her reaction.  He was still following her into the forest, though--he just wasn’t letting her pull him along like a limp doll.

“I figured now that we know this is what’s happening--what might be happening--” she corrected after seeing the still-doubtful look on his face.  If it was their reality, it was going to be a while for Levi to actually swallow it.  “We can at least talk to each other about our realities.  It might help us figure out what’s going on.  Or at least make it more real.  And we’ll know more about each other.”

Her tone sounded like she was trying to stay positive, but Levi was currently too caught up in the shitty end of the stick he was left holding while she seemed ecstatic, like she was discovering new land and reading a good book.  It made him feel sick.  She got all the good parts of this situation, a friend and a discovery, but what did he get?  He was the starving man in front of the feast he couldn’t have.

“What’s the fucking point?” he said venomously, and she came to a full halt at his tone, taken aback and--now he could see it--hurt by his tone.  But he pressed on, hurt and angry himself at the unfairness of the situation.  “Sure, it’s all great for you, so fucking exciting, but me?  My life’s shit.  Before I found my way to the surface, I thought this was right there if I tried hard enough, but now--now you’re telling me it’s a whole ‘nother world.  What the fuck is this for me other than the universe showing me more shit I can’t have?  What’s the point if I’m just going to keep getting kicked back into the goddamn dirt every time I see this place.  It doesn’t even fucking matter, does it?” Levi fumed.

It had to be the most he’d ever spoken to her at once, and here he was using it to shoot barbs at her.  But right now he was too mad to care.

Her eyes were downcast, lips pressed together, shoulders slightly hunched.  She might have been on the edge of tears.  In that moment, he started to regret his barbed words.  Yes, he was angry.  In the past he’d envied her what she had, but it had always been soothed by the thought that he might be able to reach it in the future.  He didn’t have that anymore.  So far, he’d always been here in flickers, a few days at the most before he was inevitably sent back to the exact moment he’d left.

What did it matter if he couldn’t stay?  What did it matter if nothing changed?  This was her reality, she got to stay here, while he was kicked back into the dirt--literally.  He hated it, and he thought a part of him might hate her for it.

“It’s still real, though,” she said softly, her voice a mere whisper and trembling with her barely held back tears.  “Your time here isn’t any less real.  It still counts for something.”

”...I didn’t want you to be alone…”

”I’m happy you came back, Levi.”  “Me too.”  “You’ll have to go back though, right?”  “Yeah.”  “Promise you’ll come back, again?”  “All Right.”

Piano music filtered through the air, soft and gentle, even if it occasionally stuttered or halted under fingers that were still learning.

“I won’t leave, Levi.  Not really.  I’ll always be here when you need me most.  I’m usually here waiting and looking for you to come back, anyway.”

”Let’s get you home so you can get clean.”

He was surrounded in warmth and comfort, a hand gently rubbing his back, another small body curled up close to him, offering him companionship and care...

”You’re going to be okay...I’m right here…

Levi looked away.

She was right.  He was just letting his anger get the best of him.  It still mattered.  Every bit of it.  Or was he really going to say that every kindness she’d extended to him meant nothing because she happened to--damn, he was admitting it--be from another world?  No.  Those kindnesses had meant everything to him--especially when they first met.  When Kenny left.  And recently…

“I’m sorry,” he muttered, feeling chastised by himself for speaking so harshly to her and making her tear up.  Shit, what was wrong with him?

She didn’t say anything.  The silence stretched a little longer between them before she spoke up again.

“Tell me about where you come from?” she asked timidly, and Levi looked at her doubtfully again, thinking of all those times he’d stayed quiet to shelter her from his reality.  Now he knew even the surface was worse than anything she had to deal with here, after that comment about humanity not being on the brink of extinction and Titans not even being a reality here.

“I want to understand…” she hesitated, withdrew into herself a little, and backtracked to rephrase her words.  What had she been about to say?  “Maybe if I know more about where you’re from, I can understand why this is difficult for you?  I don’t want to be insensitive or ignorant, I just...I just want to help.  And I can help better if I know,” she finished in a tiny voice.

“You don’t want to know about where I’m from--” Levi started to say dismissively, but she cut him off with that rare spark he kept glimpsing returning for a brief moment.

“I do,” she said firmly, a hard edge in her eyes before her features softened again.  “Besides, if you explain what your world is like, it might make explaining mine a little easier.”

She always charged in headfirst with the emotional stuff before adding the emotional stuff to try and be convincing.

He didn’t like the thought of exposing her to the dark underbelly that was his world, but she was so earnest--she really did want to understand, and as long as he’d known her, she’d always wanted to help in some way or another.  She’d always been helpful and caring, and he really hoped that talking about a place as dark as where he came from wasn’t going to taint that.

“Fine.”

He would talk about it, but he was still going to try and water it down for her sake.  She didn’t need to know the gritty details, just the general gist of what his world was like.  He could spend his time focusing on the technical parts and gloss over the graphicness of his life.

The two of them kept walking down the path until they found a stump to sit on just off the path, sitting side by side on the rim of the stump as they started to talk about their worlds, where they were from, what it was like, and answered questions from one another about certain details or things they had.

He felt shaken after their conversation.

The way she talked about her world, it made it look like Levi was stuck in the stone age or something.  Machines that did chores for them and performed crafting tasks that for him there were entire professional trades revolving around, transportation without horses, boats that flew in the air, lights that ran on some kind of power like lightning, machines to control the temperature inside houses, a world brimming with people and no man eating creatures bent on destroying them.

Besides man itself.

Hell, he began to wonder why there would be any interest in his world once he realized just how behind his world was.  Of course it was a different world, but still, it was even less interesting when Levi was trapped below ground and couldn’t tell her much about the world above him besides what he’d heard in stories and the brief glimpse he got running around trying to find her.

She did slip up and say that it was like something out of one of her dark fantasy books, but she’d caught how insensitive that had sounded and quickly apologized, cheeks burning.

There was plenty to talk about and discover about their worlds, but after a while, their throats started to hurt from all the talking, and they grew quiet.  Leaning against one another on the stump, Levi gazed up at the canopy of trees above them, listening to the sounds of the forest and Y/N’s breathing beside him.

“Levi?” she eventually asked in a soft voice.  He shifted slightly to look at her, wondering what she would ask about next.

“What happened?  The last time you where here?” she asked in a voice barely above a whisper.

“You don’t want to know,” he said bluntly, voice coming off stiff and distant.

“I’m not stupid.  I know it was bad.  I know you got really hurt...and there’s only one way there was that much blood afterwards--”

“Stop asking,” Levi cut her off, pulling away and standing up again to walk a few steps away and try and cool down.  Not only did he not want her to know what had happened, to not realize where he lived was that dangerous, but he didn’t want to be thinking about it, he didn’t want to be reliving it.

He turned back to face her, and she’d pulled her knees up to her chest, looking every bit the kid that they both still were.  Though they sure weren’t acting like it.  His situation explained itself.  Hers?  She was starting to show a maturity beyond her age with how she’d handled the last experience.

Now that he thought about it...even when they’d been smaller, with all the times she’d asked to play games and have fun, she’d had an...awareness, about her.  There was the discussion they’d had after she’d been beat up at school, and the time when her parents were fighting about her father going back to war.  Hell, she’d said it herself when they were younger that she’d noticed he didn’t play enough.  Just because she was always acting carefree and playful around him didn’t mean she lacked maturity.  She might have been doing it for his sake this entire time.

He needed to give her more credit.  He still wasn’t going to willingly dump the fucked up parts of his life on her, but at least he could be a little wiser about her maturity and know better than to treat her like an ignorant child, even by accident.

“Okay,” she relented, her voice still low and soft.  “But Levi?  If you ever need to talk, or anything else, I’ll be here...okay?”

Levi didn’t answer or nod, looking back at the ground.  He knew she would--she always had been so far, even if she didn’t understand.  He knew she’d be there in the future, as long as he kept coming back here.

After a few more moments of silence, Y/N got to her feet again, facing him fully.  “Well, we should probably head back to my house--it’ll get dark soon, and if my mom comes home and I’m gone for too long she’ll freak out.  I can play the piano for you some more!” she offered cheerfully.

She really was on a mission to bolster his spirits whenever they were together, wasn’t she?  Still, Levi shrugged and walked back over to her.  “Knock yourself out,” he said casually, though he did feel that spark of interest inside him.  He did like listening to her play the piano, and he never turned her down when she offered to play.

As they were walking back, something occurred to Levi, and he looked up at Y/N with slightly narrowed eyes.  “Earlier...you said no one believed you when you mentioned me?  You had your stuff taken for lying that one time, but you said you didn’t lie.”

Her face fell slightly, and she nodded reluctantly.  “When we were younger my mom just wrote it off as me talking about imaginary friends.  But when I kept talking about you despite being old enough to grow out of it, and I kept insisting you were real, they got worried.  It stopped for a while after you brought me home because the cops had seen you too, even if it was briefly.  But now...she has me seeing a doctor because I keep insisting you’re real.”

Levi’s eyes widened slightly, the seriousness of that statement falling over him and a few of her words shifting into sharper clarity and impact.  He hadn’t known she was having to defend his existence over here--he hadn’t even known she’d told anyone else about him.  And to hear her mother thought she was crazy talking about a boy her mother had never seen but had somehow followed them through all their moves across the country.  It seemed like she was a hair’s breadth away from being called crazy, all because she refused to deny that he was real, even if he wasn’t around.

No wonder she’d reacted so strongly when he denied this was happening and it was some sick hallucination.

His jaw clenched, as did his hand at his side out of her view.

It was the best answer he could give.  A sense of solidarity, and a removal of doubt from the one person she’d thought wouldn’t deny the reality of what was happening.

“I know you’re real, too.”

Next Chapter---->

Levi Tags:  @clary-quinn​ @humanitys-hottestsoldier​ @whalerus​ @sunny-flo​