#witd

*Reader’s POV*

The state of the Underground hadn’t gotten any better since you’d last been here.

Not that you expected it to, the place reeked, was drenched in filth and stale air, and there were people lurking in the shadows that were either on death’s door or were leering at passerby’s waiting for someone that looked like an easy mark or seemed to have something worth taking.

While you and Emery traveled into the depths of the dark city, you glared at anyone that looked your way and thought the fresh and youthful faced Emery was an easy mark, easily scaring them off with your more imposing presence that threatened death at best if they tried to mark your companion for their crimes.  Emery, at least, seemed to have heard enough stories about the Underground, or had indeed taken to heart your many warnings and briefings on the way down here, and stayed a half step behind you the whole time despite his own vampiric strength being capable of keeping him safe from nearly every thug and shadowy individual the two of you passed.

It was a good thing you’d been careful to teach him how to block out sensory information before delving down here–he’d only gagged seven times since coming down here when his concentration slipped, which wasn’t bad at all.

As you reached the darker depths of the Underground, the places where the shadows loomed darker, the mud never truly dried, and a presence of dread pressed upon passerbys, you gestured for Emery to follow you into one of the abandoned buildings a couple blocks in, allowing the two of you at least a moment to pause and make sure you were both prepared for what came next.

Namely, Emery.

When you turned to look at him, you could see even in the shut in darkness of the empty warehouse how pale he looked, and not just from thirst.  There was a tremble in his hand, and he swallowed painfully loudly when your gaze met his.

“I don’t want to do this,” Emery hissed softly into the darkness.  He’d been gradually getting worse as the days passed, and you had discovered he’d been preying on birds and squirrels and other small animals that happened to be in the immediate area around the cave in an attempt to keep himself satiated.  However, there wasn’t enough to keep the thirst at bay, and eventually he’d had no choice but to relent and follow you to satisfy the craving.  That didn’t mean that he fully agreed.  Or that he was willing.  He was just running out of options, and the hunger was starting to take precedence, even over his morality.

Considering he was digging in his heels again, though, that resistance was still there.

You sighed, running your fingers through your hair under your cloak as you gazed back at the terrified young man.  “Emery, we’ve been through this–”

“No, I know what you’re going to say, but I can’t do this, I don’t want to kill anyone,” Emery hissed back in the darkness, panic coloring his tone.

“I understand that, believe me, I do–”

“No, you don’t, not really, otherwise you wouldn’t be pushing me to do this, you wouldn’t have done this yourself, I don’t want to be a monster–” Emery panicked, starting to work himself into hysterics.  You had to get a grasp on this before it spiraled out of control.

Burying the slash of pain in your chest at the statement calling you and what you’d done to survive in the past monstrous, you carefully stepped up to the young man who was starting to hyperventilate in front of you, placing gentle hands on his arms to try and soothe him.  “Emery, breathe…deep breaths…you need to settle down, before you draw attention to us,” you told him seriously but in as gentle of a tone as you could manage, trying to catch his gaze as it darted around at your surroundings.

You’d been slowly refining this speech for this moment, specifically, and you sincerely hoped that it was going to be good enough to convince him, this time.

“I do understand, because I’ve been where you’re at, right now.  And in the past I was so scared of myself and of hurting–killing–other people, I tried to die before I could.  Clearly it didn’t work, but…I do understand that fear,” you said steadily, feeling a brief flash of relief when Emery looked at you with wide eyes at the little bit of yourself you offered him to get him to see that you did, in fact, understand the feelings he was struggling with.  “I don’t want to make you a monster or a murderer, Emery.  I’m trying to help you avoid that, in the long run.  But right now, it can’t be helped.  You have to drink to survive.  But you don’t have the control for a donor even if I could find you one, the forest animals aren’t enough for you to live on, and the animals not only are vital to the people starving because of a food shortage right now, but as long as you’re drinking from them, you’re never going to be able to learn the control to be around people again without being a threat to them.  It’s ugly, and dark, and messy, and bloody, but you have to go through this stage first before you can get better.”

You squeezed his shoulders in reassurance, making sure to hold his gaze.  “You don’t have to go through this alone like I did, though.  I’m here to help you, okay?  You’ll get through this, and eventually you won’t have to kill to survive anymore.  But you have to get through this part, first, and that’s what I’m trying to help you do, but you have to let me.”

Emery’s eyes seemed to shine even in the darkness, expression distraught and lost as his shoulders sagged under your hands.  “I can’t…I can’t take hurting anyone else.  I can’t do it…”

Your heart throbbed, looking up and around at the warehouse around you as if it might give you answers, while the teenager in front of you struggled not to sob with the enhanced despair crushing down on his too-pure soul for this bloody life.

There was no way you were going to get him to hunt on his own tonight.  He wasn’t capable of that same thing you could do where you could mentally and emotionally distance yourself from the kill, compartmentalize it into a dark bloody box in the recesses of your mind and let it hurt like a dull ache at the bottom of your heart when your thoughts wandered to its contents.  But he needed blood, or he was going to get dangerous, and he needed to start learning this so he could be more self-sufficient.  You couldn’t keep leaving him to small fuzzy animals in the wilds and the dark solitude of a cave, which was all he would get if he didn’t make this step.

…you could at least meet him halfway.  He wasn’t ready to do this himself, wasn’t ready for a kill, was in no state for it tonight and probably wouldn’t be for some time still.  But there were still things you could do to compromise, to help him make progress without pushing him to do this thing he was terrified to do, and justifiably.

You could save the philosophical discussion about killing to survive and if vampires killing for the blood they needed to live fell into that grace area or not another time, when he was well fed and you weren’t standing in an abandoned building in one of the more dangerous parts of the Underground.  Right now, you just had to get him to feed.

“Okay.  I’m not going to make you do something you can’t do, Emery,” you tell him softly, and his shaking, half sobbed breaths caught for a moment at the statement.  You didn’t judge him for how quickly he fell into tears and sobs, knowing he was still struggling with the emotional control and this was, after all, a highly charged and emotional topic–and he was, immortal or not, a literal kid–a teenager.  “But you still need to learn to hunt properly, and we need to start actively teaching you control.  I’ll do the dirty work tonight.  I’ll teach you how to do the hunt, you’ll do most of it under my supervision, but I’ll make the kill and you can have the blood afterwards.  It will still be good long enough for you to take what you need, it takes a little while for the blood to go stagnant and…sour, so to speak, to dead man’s blood.”

Emery still looked ill, but he recognized this compromise you were offering him for the gift it was.  Not having to do the act itself…he would still be complicit, yes, but at least his hands wouldn’t be directly bloody.  That’s what you were thinking, anyway, why you offered it.

“I don’t know if I can…choose who lives and dies like that,” Emery said in a hushed tone, though his shaking had eased and he seemed to be calming down.

“Then I’ll pick the target–this time.  I’ll show you how it’s done, and you just watch…you don’t have to watch me kill them, though.  Just be ready to hurry over to start drinking before the blood can go stale.  Deal?” you compromised again.

Emery hesitated.  He was far too gentle.  Whoever had made this poor kid into a vampire was cruel, putting someone with this much kindness and passivity in his heart into this position where he had to spill blood to survive, where being around people tempted him to go into a blood haze, to rend and murder anyone in its path, until he could gain control of his new alien bloodlust.

Gentle hearts did not mix well with vampirism.  This wasn’t going to be easy for him.  In fact, it was likely to be more hellish on the heart and soul for Emery than it had been for you.  After you had turned, you'd gradually discovered steel in your spine and fire in your heart; that you could be sharp as a blade and hard as the walls when you needed to survive.  Either Emery didn't have that at all, or he just hadn't found it yet.

Hopefully the latter was the case, for both your sakes.

“Okay,” he murmured in a voice so soft you almost didn’t hear it.  He seemed to go weak in the knees after agreeing, like his agreement to the bloodshed had been some kind of physical blow.

You gave him an awkward pat on the shoulder before you released him, keeping an eye on him to make sure he wasn’t going to sway and topple over once you let him go before you turned your attention back to the Underground that stretched out around you outside the abandoned building.

“We’ll talk more about survival and morality and everything else, later.  First…I’ll get you some blood,” you murmured, steps sure all the way to the doorway, waiting until Emery reluctantly fell into step behind you before your footsteps turned into a hunter’s prowl, and you started the ritual you hadn’t needed to execute since Levi had offered you the alternative you wished desperately to give the gentle-hearted kid you’d been teaching the past few weeks.

Later.  You could reflect on this later.  For now…the hunt.

*Levi’s POV*

She was back much earlier than he’d been expecting.

Levi had gone through his tea a lot faster than normal, already on the third cup and having switched from regular black tea to poking through his options once or twice to try and find something that would help him stay awake and alert like he wanted but would also help calm down his damn nerves.  He was seated at one of the corner tables that gave him a better chance at being overlooked by any late night visitors, one hand continued to fill out the paperwork he’d brought to distract him between the page turns and the time it took him to read what was in front of him, while the other traced along the rim of his freshly made cup of tea, still fresh enough that steam wafted into the air a few shades lighter than the smoke burning from the candle flame.  He’d found it ridiculously difficult to focus on his paperwork, yet his gaze kept flickering to the candle shedding the light he was working by, unable to stop looking as it slowly melted, tracking each half hour that she was down there in the Underdark.  It felt like he was hyper aware of every minute that slipped by, which made it frustratingly difficult to successfully distract himself with his work while he waited for her return.

He had yet to successfully distract himself and stop glancing over at the candle when she did appear, still wrapped up in her plain cloak with a deep frown marring her features as she stepped inside, immediately garnering Levi’s attention.

“What the hell are you doing back so early?” Levi asked, paperwork quickly forgotten at the sight of her.  The only reasons she would be back this early was if something had gone very wrong, or if things had progressed much faster and smoother than she had been anticipating.

Given their track record with the Underground, Levi wasn’t going to get his hopes high that it was anything other than bad.

Y/N’s gaze flickered over to him, but she didn’t deviate from her course towards the kitchens.  “Let me get something to drink, first, and I’ll tell you what happened,” she offered.

As she passed, Levi did a quick glance over her just to make sure she was at least outwardly fine.  No blood on her cloak, though she usually washed away any she may have gotten on her before returning to headquarters, she wasn’t moving strange, there wasn’t anything that looked scuffed or dirty, she didn’t seem to be hurt–aside from the frown, she seemed fine, which was a bit of consolation despite the concern her early return and the frown on her face stirred up.

Even though he could see that outwardly, physically, she was fine, he still didn’t wait.  She’d barely entered the kitchen before he decided he was going to follow, getting up to enter the kitchen after her, where she had already discovered the tea kettle Levi had been using, teacup in hand and ready to start making herself the usual cup of chamomile.

Levi crossed the room before she could even finish turning around to face him, a bit of surprise on her face when she found him already in her personal space, one of his hands reaching out to cover her hand resting on the teacup, keeping both hand and cup still against the counter while keeping her in place as his other hand reached out to brace against the counter on her other side.  He studied her closer, attempting to gauge from her eyes and the way she was acting just how bad it had been.

“Tell me what happened,” Levi said, firm enough to be borderline a command, but soft enough that his voice betrayed the worry that was spurring on the inquiry that couldn’t even wait for her to brew a cup of tea.

Y/N’s startled expression only stayed for a few more moments before it softened, a hand coming up to rest on his cheek with her fingertips curling gently along his jawline to soothe him.  It did work a bit–he couldn’t help the way he reacted to the touch, the warmth and the comfort that started to spread through him at such a tender gesture–though it didn’t erase the worry coursing through him.

“Nothing serious happened, Levi, not in the way you’re probably thinking right now,” she soothed him, though his tension didn’t melt away due to the spark of worry she couldn’t hide in her eyes–there was still something to be concerned about.  “There weren’t any hunters, there weren’t any hitches in the hunt itself, no other vampires crept up–nothing serious like that.”

“But something still happened,” Levi deadpanned, gaze unwavering from her own, especially since it kept giving her away–the flash of unease at his statement, for example.  Her eliminating other vampires and hunters and remarking that the hunt went smoothly meant that it had to be Emery, based on what information Levi did have.

Did the bloodlust come a little too easily for her to be comfortable?  Did she get more confirmation of his ripper tendencies?  She spoke highly of the kid’s character, or at the very least kept reiterating how he was tender and gentle and good hearted, but Levi had not–and she had better not–forgotten what he was capable of, the potential violence he could grow into and the kind of real monster it could breed.  All the kindness and even personal bonds in the world wasn’t enough in the face of a vampire’s first years of thirst, as Y/N’s gruesome story of how she’d been turned and the butcher Emery had caused at the scent of blood bleakly attested to.

Standing this close to her, he could still smell a faint whiff of the Underground on her, and alongside it, the faintest hint of blood.  Something he didn’t expect to catch on her if Emery was the one that was supposed to be doing the killing.

Before he could finish making the connections, she finally spoke up, sighing wearily before she let her hand trail down from his cheek to rest gently over his heart, the other hand still trapped within Levi’s own against the counter.

“Emery couldn’t do it, so I had to,” she finally said.  “I don’t know how much of a role his heightened emotions that he still hasn’t gotten control of play in it, how much of it is stalwartly at his core, but he’s just too…soft-hearted.  Normally I say being a gentle person isn’t a bad thing, but in this case he just…started to shatter on the spot, fell right into hysterics, could not do it, so I had to compromise.  Told him to watch and try to learn what I was doing, but I would do the actual hunt and he could reap the results so he’s not still starving up in that mountain.”

She looked off to the side where the tea kettle was still sitting as she spoke.  “I don’t know what I’m going to do if he can’t get past this, make this work in a way for him that will allow him a bit of self sufficiency when it comes to his survival.  I’m not even sure how to teach him this if this is my starting point, I wasn’t expecting it to be at this point.  If he can’t get past this, if he continues to outright refuse like he did tonight…I can’t hunt for him forever, he can’t feed on animals, he won’t be able to compel anyone for decades–I can’t even do that yet.  I’m not sure what to do with him, now.”

Levi had listened closely through her explanation, studying her quietly and turning over the information she gave him in his mind as he considered what he should say, taking care to try and figure out the right words to use considering this was a topic that touched on some sensitive topics she was still carrying around with her.  Since she was still looking away as she finished speaking, Levi reached out to gently grasp her chin and tilt her head back towards him, thumb briefly stroking side to side across her chin.

On the one hand, the news was quick to rile his anger, gaze narrowing slightly to hear that she had needed to take matters into her own hands and get even more blood on them, even though she was supposed to be finally free of taking human life to survive with Levi providing her blood, instead.  She was supposed to be working to wash the blood off like she had told him was part of her intention for being here, now that she wasn’t adding any more–or wasn’t supposed to be, anyway.  They’d been arguing about the risk to her going back Underground, how much danger it put her in–Levi hadn’t even brought up how crucial of a part she was starting to play in the Scouts and how putting her in danger was also threatening to deal a harsh blow to the Scouts and their improving death rates arguably when it mattered most that they continue to progress.  She was taking these risks, putting herself back in danger, now getting more blood on her hands to try and help this kid, and he wasn’t making an attempt to make this work?  She wasn’t talking about backing out, she was upset about not knowing what to do next to help him.  If she kept going down there and doing this for the young vampire, if she kept putting herself in increasing danger and he continued to refuse to follow what she was trying to teach him…

He could see this ending very badly if it continued in this direction, and could see her bearing the brunt of it.  But he could also see why she was doing it, why she was still inclined to find a way to make it work.  What she saw of this kid told her that he was a good kid–too good, ironically, since therein lay the crux of the issue–and it was a reassurance that he didn’t take human life so lightly, that it was something he was truly struggling with…

But it wasn’t so cut and dry.  Emery’s decisions about this were going to have an impact far beyond him, were going to affect Y/N, and by extension the Scouts.  And if he didn’t learn to control himself, didn’t put in the work–as bloody as it was–to get to a similar place as Y/N, then a lot of people–more innocent people–were going to suffer and die along the way for it, either directly or indirectly.  There wasn’t really a good choice here, but when the hell was there?  The choice the kid had in front of him was to either learn to control himself, not hurt as many people, and try to direct the carnage away from the more innocent until he developed the control and connections to get to a similar place as Y/N in the future, or he could continue to refuse, never really learning how to control his thirst, any human that bleeds around him always under great threat, some even just needing to get near him to be in danger, and Y/N possibly suffering deadly consequences for it–Levi could lose her along that path despite having just started to really have her in his life, not to mention the Scouts and Humanity would lose their best weapon against the titans and chance for more people surviving in that worse case scenario.

Levi knew exactly what choice Emery should make, in Levi’s mind–Levi would have already made it by now if he could.  The second choice wasn’t an option Levi was going to accept, at least not to that extent.  It didn’t make the first choice right, per say–Levi and Y/N had already had the complicated discussions about her old diet, and Levi had already made his feelings on the matter clear back then.  But Levi wasn’t going to let the situation develop to the point that many people suffered for the inaction of one teenage vampire.  And if Emery wanted to follow along the second path, then Y/N wasn’t going to get caught in the crossfires for it, she’d have to cut her losses before the situation got any worse.

Levi’s hand tightened around Y/N’s as he came to his resolution, gaze roaming over her features.  This could easily become another fight...

“You’re not going to have to hunt for him anymore,” Levi said decisively.  Y/N’s gaze turned wary in the face of the hard edge in Levi’s eyes, and Levi let go of her chin and pushed away, taking the teacup that had been in her hand in the process as he headed over to the tea kettle.

“I will if I can’t get him out of his own head and convince him to actually hunt, which was what I was trying to do before we went out today…not that it worked.”

Levi took a few seconds to start making her tea for her, giving himself the little extra time to put the right words together.

“You see yourself in him,” Levi stated, simply summing up the conversation they’d had the night they’d returned from the chaos of the fall of Wall Maria.  “You want to treat him gently, because you wish someone had been there for you that way when you first turned.”

Her silence was enough confirmation for him to continue.

“But you can’t.  Back then, there was only you at stake.  For him, there’s a hell of a lot more damage that’ll be done if this goes south,” Levi said flatly, coming back over to where she was standing to hand her the cup.  She took it wordlessly, but the look on her face was…less than pleased.  Well, she wasn’t going to get any happier with what else he had to say.

“He’s not you, and you’re not him, so stop comparing.  You were able to figure out your situation and make quick choices to survive and stuck with it, took the consequences.  He’s indecisive and dragging his feet, making a shitstorm that could affect a hell of a lot more people.  He doesn’t need coddled right now.  He needs to get a face-full of the reality of the situation he’s in and make a choice.  That way you know if you need to get out before you pay for it, or if he’s going to step up and put in some effort to survive.”

Y/N hesitated, both hands curled around her cup.  “I don’t want to push him too hard too fast, it’s always like he’s a few seconds away from shattering.  And it’s hard to be harsh with him, knowing what he’s going through, how terrifying it all is.”

We’re all just a bunch of bleeding hearts, it seems.

Levi sighed, folding his arms across his chest and leaning back against the table behind him, fixing his stare on her.  “If you won’t give him a reality check, then I will.”

Her head snapped up at that, gaze a lot sharper and focused now, eyes narrowed on him.  “I thought we were done having the discussion of why that’s a bad idea, and you going anywhere near him isn’t going to happen?”

“The situation’s changed.  Again.  If you don’t want to push him, then someone else needs to step in and do it.  I’m the obvious choice.”

As always, at this rate.

“Levi–”

“No,” Levi cut her off, tone a bit harsher than he intended.  “It’d be safer if I wasn’t around him, he doesn’t have control, I know, you’ve made all that clear.  He already knows you have a human…” Levi paused, not sure he knew what the hell to label himself in this situation.  “...whatever, and part of the reason you’ve been allowed to go forward with this is your insistence you can control him.”

“I’m not setting up a meeting between you two.  It’d be too dangerous, too unpredictable and–”

“And the titans aren’t?” Levi snapped back.  “If I can handle you in a spar, I can handle the kid.  Between the two of us, we can manage if he loses his shit.”

He wasn’t insane enough to go alone, otherwise he’d have just done it himself already.  And the two of them were the best equipped to handle vampires.  Sure, there were all kinds of ways it could go, but if both of them were there and prepared to do damage control, they had a better chance of keeping the situation contained with little to no fallout.

And this would give him the chance to size up Emery for himself and get a good read on the kid.

“I’m not dangling you in front of Emery with how little control he has–he may not even be capable of listening to you around any bloodlust he ends up having, which would defeat the whole point of you meeting him.”

“If you want to help this kid, I can’t go to Erwin with ‘it didn’t go well, the kids refusing to learn, Y/N doesn’t know what to do’.  Erwin will cut the loss,” Levi said flatly.  “You’ve been trying to prepare him for this your way–it didn’t work.  Even if he ends up too blood crazy to speak to, I can’t give you any better advice until I see for myself.”

The two of them had a stare down in silence for several long moments, waiting to see who would back out, first.  Levi wasn’t going to budge.  He’d let her try, let her have her way, they’d scrapped over it, he’d relented, but now…now, she really did need him involved if this was going to work.  She was being far too gentle with Emery at the moment.

Not that Levi didn’t pity the poor kid.  Y/N had been an adult when she was turned, albeit barely.  This kid was in the middle of his teenage years, which probably didn’t help with the erratic emotions.  And it truly was a shit situation to be in, to be a freshly turned vampire–even worse at a time like this with the recent fall of a wall and massive food shortage.  But pitying the situation wasn’t going to do anything to get him out of it, and pity wasn’t going to do shit in making sure the kid wasn’t frozen up decision wise anymore and not putting himself and Y/N at risk.

“Fine.  Fine.” Y/N finally relented, looking away and taking a long drink out of her cup, looking more frustrated than Levi had seen her in a while.  “But we’re doing it my way.  How we arrange and go about it, I mean,” she added when she saw Levi was about to correct her.  Giving Emery a reality check was going to be done Levi’s way.

“Sooner, not later,” Levi stressed.

“I know, just…give me time to give him the heads up first, try to talk about what happened and tell him you’re going to be coming to meet him, because of how…poorly, it went.”

“I’ll make sure you have free time today to go see him.”

“And when you two do meet, we’ll do it during the day, so you can have the added protection of the sun.  You can stand outside the cave, and he won’t be able to come near you, not even if he was in a blood frenzy.  Though it’ll also be more of a trip, since we’re headed up a mountain on the northwestern side of Wall Sina.”

“We can get an official excuse set up with Erwin.”

A silence fell over the room between them, Y/N continuing to sip on the tea.  He still had his in the other room, and paperwork, but there were more personal things he wanted to do and say with her…They probably needed to leave the mess hall, anyway.  It was only an old habit that had Levi set up here to wait for her this time, but if Emery got over his indecision and they kept going to the Underground while he learned, then in the future…

“Let me get my shit, and we’ll head up to my office.  Last thing we need is some moon eyed rookie wandering in while we’re talking,” Levi said to break the silence, getting up to head back to the dining area.  Y/N finished her tea and shadowed him without hesitation, staying a couple steps behind along the way.  

Levi started to gather up the paperwork, trying to get the tea he’d left sitting by the papers down before they left and while there was still heat to it.  As he did, Y/N came up behind him, her hand brushing gently along his back and remaining on his shoulder blade as she leaned over beside him, helping him gather up the candles and a fair share of his stack.

Levi felt a little of his inner tension drain away at the touch and gesture.  She wasn’t angry at him, then, and no fight.  Some resistance, some frustration…but no fight.  Good…good, she understood, she accepted it, they weren’t going to have to muscle through another rocky spot with each other.  She was going to accept the help.

She had asked.  She might not like the way he was going to help, but she had asked for help when she opened up to him about not knowing what to do about the situation.

“Do you want help with some of this?”

Levi glanced over at the half of the stack she had in her hand.  It was a lot of paperwork, he’d left enough to keep him busy through the night on purpose.  But he needed to actually take in the information, put his own signature on things…

“No.”

She looked at him, studying his expression as he leaned over to add the small stack he’d already worked through on top.  As he straightened, she leaned over to kiss his cheek, holding the stack in her arms tighter to her.

“I’ll just help where I can fill in information, then,” she mused, already pulling away to start walking now that they had everything gathered between the two of them.

“Tch…”

But he didn’t say she shouldn’t, and the sound of protest was soft.  He didn’t actually mind…it was a good excuse for her to stay a bit longer.

The hour was still late enough that their trip from the mess hall to Levi's office was undisturbed, a comfortable silence between them as they traversed the halls.  Once inside, Levi still made sure that the door was locked behind them to make sure no one could interrupt, just in case.  He didn't expect anyone to come knocking at this time of night if Y/N was already here, but with their track record, he'd rather be safe than sorry.

Levi and Y/N both made their way to his desk, setting their respective piles on the surface before they took seats at opposite sides of the desk. Levi shook his head at her insistence to pitch in with his paperwork, but didn't protest, and they fell into a comfortable routine surprisingly fast.

There were the usual finished and unfinished stacks, of course, but Y/N had also created smaller stacks by the unfinished pile, one that was paperwork she'd filled out for him but still needed read or signed, and another for pages she couldn't help with.  As they both added to or took from the piles, their knuckles would occasionally brush against one another, fingertips lingering the few times she handed him a document when they would finish at the same time.

Levi found the work going by much faster, more comfortably, with her there…and not just because she was doing a small portion of it for him.  The pages went by faster, the work didn't feel so tiring, and suddenly there were only a few stray papers in the piles she'd sorted for him left to do.  Y/N had wandered over to the couch once she'd done what she could, laying down with a soft whoosh of air that barely resembled a sigh.  She didn't speak while Levi continued to work, the candlelight growing smaller and the shadows longer until Levi decided enough was enough.  What remained were pages he could do in the morning, there were other things he could be doing right now–and wanted to do.

Levi carefully removed his cravat, fingers brushing against the bandage he'd forgotten was hidden beneath.  It definitely stopped bleeding by now, he could probably take the damned thing off.

It was a slight detour, but he came back minus a jacket, cravat, and bandage, the small bite wound properly cleaned up and hardly noticeable, and Y/N was still stretched out on the couch, having not made a sound or so much as twitched.

…Dammit, she's asleep, isn't she?

Levi didn't even have to come all the way around the couch to confirm it, he could peer over the edge and see that she was passed out asleep, lips parted, head turned into the cushions and pillowed under one arm, breathing slow and deep.

So much for spending a bit of one on one time together before getting some sleep.  He’d been hoping to have a bit of time to set aside business and the serious stuff and simply reassure himself that she was all right and with him, but if this was the most he would get…

His sigh was admittedly a disappointed one, even as he leaned against the edge of the couch with folded arms and watched her for a few moments.  How comfortable did she have to be around him to fall asleep on the not-that-comfortable couch that quickly, and with so little fuss?

She’d come a long way to get where she was now.  To go from scared barely adult just turned vampire driven underground, to now a cornerstone member of the Scouts (even if it was behind closed doors, only), improving the safety of the formations so they didn’t lose as many people, making plans that actually sounded plausible with Hange to help them capture and learn more about titans, she had friends, she had him–whatever they were, Levi still didn’t know what to label it.  She’d come here to find a way to make her abilities as a vampire helpful to other people, to make the lives she’d had to take in order to survive and stay strong enough to survive worth something, and so far, it seemed she was in step with that goal.

And he wasn’t going to let anyone threaten to destroy that progress, not when she’d crawled her way here over the past few decades and was just starting to get a taste of freedom and happiness again, despite the insanity of all the ways the world seemed to be going to shit right now.

Levi straightened up from the couch and made his way over by the door, where his Scout cloak was hanging up.  He snatched it off its hook without even looking, coming back over to where Y/N had passed out on his couch and carefully throwing it over the sleeping woman’s shoulders, taking the time to make sure that it was arranged in a way that would be comfortable for her and actually keep her warm.  His hand lingered briefly on her shoulder, gazing at her still sleeping form for a few seconds before he made himself pull away, heading over to the desk to finish off those last few pages of paperwork he would have made wait for morning if she’d still been awake.  Hopefully, when he finished, he’d be able to catch a few hours of sleep, himself. 

He did, of course, finish his paperwork not long after his discovery that Y/N had fallen asleep, and after making sure the fire would last a bit longer into the night and everything was where it needed to be, he had settled back into the chair behind his desk, closing his eyes and simply listening to the soft sound of her breaths in the room and the crackle of the fire.  He didn’t even notice when the moment of peace turned to drowsiness, or how quickly he fell asleep after those first few content moments just listening and relishing the moment.

When he started to come to again, it was to the crackle of a fresh fire, the faintest aroma of black tea leaves in the room, the pouring of water and light chink of porcelain, soft, barely heard steps and movements…

Levi was still lifting his head, still coming to a full awareness of the room around him when the steps drew closer, and the lightest touch brushed across his shoulder, causing him to tense for the first few heartbeats that he didn’t know where it was coming from before the familiar voice followed the tender touch.

“Good morning,” Y/N’s voice said softly just off to his side, causing Levi to blearily blink open his eyes to peer up at her, squinting against the light but relaxing against her touch once he realized it was her.  He felt her lips press gently against the top of his head, feeling a warmth slowly settle over him at the affection that made it a little more difficult to shake off the morning grogginess.

His neck was a little stiff from how he’d been sleeping slouched over in his chair.  He was also realizing that something was draped over him, giving him a thin shield against the chill of the room until the fire warmed it again, hand rising underneath it to discover the familiar feel of his cloak against his fingers.  She must have put it around him in turn when she’d woken up.

“I just started heating up water for tea, it shouldn't be too long,” she continued in her quiet tone, and Levi hummed in response, leaning into the gentle touch upon his shoulder blade now that he realized it was her.  He could certainly use the tea right now, he might have actually gotten a couple hours last night, and it was taking him a few seconds to shake himself out of the sleepy, guard down stupor.

Speaking of last night…

Levi started to sit up, hair tickling along his eyebrows, one hand tugging the cloak down, allowing it to fall to his lap.  “You fell asleep before I could finish my work,” he rumbled, voice still sounding gruff even to his ears from just waking up.

What time was it?  How much later than normal was it?  His paperwork was done, at least, but he had meetings he had to do with Erwin now, training they still had to go through, coordinating with Y/N later about the Emery situation…

Depending on how much he’d slept in, he didn’t have the time to do what he’d been hoping for last night.  If she hadn’t fallen asleep, he could have spent a couple hours with her winding down from the day without any work in the way, but now, the day was already calling–especially because he may be running behind.

Y/N’s hand slipped away from his shoulder, her footsteps moving away from him and likely over to finish making the tea.  “I didn’t mean to–I guess I just got too comfortable?  One minute I was just listening to you and the next–”

It was too soon after waking up to be trying to navigate to the right words right now.  She thought he was complaining about her sleeping in his office?  Even though he’d already allowed her to use his bedroom for her recoveries to be in peace in the past?  And they’d both stayed in these quarters during his own recovery?

Levi’s hand threaded through his hair, brushing it out of his face and resting his head in his hand while his gaze relocated and tracked her as she moved around to make the tea.  His other hand draped the cloak out of the way on the back of his chair for the time being.

“I didn’t say you couldn’t,” he corrected her in a low mumble.  “Falling asleep here was fine–if you needed the rest, then knock yourself out.”

…he didn’t mind when she fell asleep in here.  He liked having her close, and seeing her that relaxed and comfortable in his presence had been…well, like many of the moments with her, it had been warm, and gave him a little taste of a content feeling, even if she wasn’t awake to engage with him like he’d been hoping for.  But he relished in the quiet moments of companionship and peace her presence tended to bring, and that was the important part.

So long as she wasn’t obvious enough about it for people to figure out she was staying in his quarters instead of her own, he wouldn’t mind if it became a regular thing–he thought he may relish it, as well.

“Oh?” she asked.  Her back was to him, so he couldn’t see how she was reacting to what he told her.  He could just study her posture, the way she shifted her feet, the slight tilt of her head–she was acting casual, but he was fairly certain she was about to fish for more.  “Then…what has you disgruntled?  Besides just waking up, I mean.”

“Tch.”

The small noise was mostly drowned out by the huffed sigh he let out at the question, momentarily agitated that she was catching onto his residual disappointment in missing out on his plans for the night before.  His fingers unthreaded from his hair, propping up his chin instead as she finally turned around to face him.

“I had shit I was going to do once you got back,” he grumbled, unable to help but sulk a little at the thought.  If she hadn’t come back so early it had required an immediate discussion, if they hadn’t gotten busy with the paperwork, if she hadn’t fallen asleep afterwards…he’d just wanted more than just a few moments to hold her close to him, kiss her, reassure himself that she was okay, and take his sweet time doing it.

She came over to stand by his desk again, offering him the fresh cup of tea without a word, which Levi took carefully from her, fingers brushing gently, briefly, against hers as he examined the color, giving it a few more seconds to finish steeping before he took a sip.

She may have rushed putting it together a little, but it was as good as she usually made it.

She moved to lean against his desk, drawing Levi’s gaze sidelong to her with the teacup paused a few inches away from a second drink.  “You know, you could…do whatever you wanted to last night, now.  We have a bit of time.  Maybe not as much, but still, some.”

…She may have a point.  He didn’t have the time now to do as much, he couldn’t hold her however long he felt like it, afterwards, he had things he needed to start doing, since he may already be off to a late start.  That didn’t mean he couldn’t do anything though.  He could prioritize what he wanted the most, something that would get him by until they had the chance again, and steal a few moments before starting the day–he already had a late start, anyway, and it was a day that started when he decided.  What was a few more stolen moments at the start?

Levi set his teacup aside, making sure it was well out of the way and not in danger of being knocked over as he turned to face her more fully, gaze roaming over her as he debated how he wanted to use the time they still had before the day’s work demanded their attention.  He couldn’t just hold her to him in the silence of the room as long as he would want, but he could pull her close, feel how real and solid she was against him, reassure himself she was okay and things were good between them, not tense and strained.

His hand reached out for her sleeve to tug her closer to him, guiding her around the desk and over to where he was still seated behind the desk.  Once she was easily within his arm’s reach, Levi pulled her to him with a bit more strength, hearing her gasp as she was pulled in, his arm wrapping around her waist to hold her tightly to him as she fell into him.  She caught herself, keeping her balance with her knee laying across his lap and her other foot stretched out behind her to keep herself stable, her hands placed instinctively against his chest to assist in keeping her balance with the close proximity.  Once she was where he wanted her, he reached out to thread his hand into her hair, feeling the strands slip against his fingers as his hand came to rest against the warmth of her cheek, coaxing her forwards even as he tilted her head the way he needed her to be as he went in for a kiss.

This one wasn’t one of the timid, brief kisses that had filled much of their days recently–he went in with a fervor much like their first, or on the couch the evening prior.  It was that closeness he wanted, and if he craved that physical reassurance that she was okay–was going to be okay–then he wanted to feel that liveliness between them when he kissed her like this.  Where he couldn’t get enough of it, wanted more, and even surprised himself with how badly he seemed to need it.

Keeping her cradled close and secure against him, Levi could feel the surprise from the intensity that he came at her with in her lack of an initial response in those few seconds, where he was the one pouring all of the desire into the kiss with each needful press of his lips against hers.  He might have pulled back if she had stayed still a moment longer, but when she seemed to come out of her surprise at his sudden fervent attention, she returned every ounce of that passion, stealing his breath in kind.  Her hands slowly slide up the sides of his neck, causing a slight shiver down his neck before her fingers ran lightly against his undercut and up into his own hair in a grip that kept him locked–without complaint–in the kiss, her fingers teasing along the outer curves of his ears and her thumb tracing idly back and forth along his jaw.

His breath hitched at the tender touch, lips parting involuntarily with a gasp he was trying to keep down.  Throwing away any pretense of trying to kiss her in some kind of ‘right way’, his fingers dug deeper into her hair in response, and the sound was swallowed up as he deepened the kiss.  He didn’t care about kissing her in a ‘right way’ at the moment as much as he did in kissing her, in feeling more of her, of satisfying the hunger that had them locked together with such intensity.

She was warm and alive against him and he couldn’t get enough of it as it helped soothe the part of him that had been so restless the past week or so out of fear for her safety.

Their intensity did have them clash a bit more with their kiss than normal–sometimes he only managed to trap one of her lips between his with how she tilted her head in response to him or because she ducked low trying to go in for more when he arched higher.  There were a few times where his teeth grazed along her lips, and he felt her shudder against him, which only encouraged him to do it again.  Especially when those shudders were followed by a tightened grip from her and more fire in the way she kissed him, how she leaned more heavily into him.

She was the first one to break away from the kiss, gasping in air so sharply that it made Levi realize he was starting to get a little light headed from the lack of air, himself.  He wasn’t done, though–not nearly.  So as she gasped for air, Levi took a quick breath and leaned back in, planting a kiss at the corner of her mouth as she took in air.  She didn’t squirm away, and with the thought of how tantalizing her kisses the evening before had been as they had blazed a trail away from his lips, he decided he’d try it for himself, see about blazing a trail of his own.

His lips moved a little further to the side, pressing against her flushed cheek and feeling a warmth seeping through his chest at the more tender seeming gesture amidst the more hungry kisses they’d been giving to one another.  He went a little further back towards her ear, feeling a spark of pride as it seemed to make her gasp again and twitch from a sensitivity to the spot he managed to find as he started to work his way down to her jaw.

It felt like goosebumps broke out across his neck and down to his arms when he felt her return in kind, her lips easily finding their way to his jaw in return with how he was currently angled to kiss under hers.  His hand, resting at her side just above her waist, clenched in the fabric of her uniform as she moved lower to where his jaw met his throat, managing to coax a soft grunt out of him in the process, arm flexing around her and coaxing her to lean more into him.  One of her hands had abandoned the base of his skull where it had been brushing along his undercut and teasing strands of hair between her fingers, now moving lower towards his shoulder, smoothing over the back plate of his gear he had far too tight for her to slip her fingers under.

She wasn’t daunted by it, however.  She coaxed a small gasp from him she might not have even heard as her hand simply traveled lower to trail along his spine where there wasn’t gear in the way, her other hand burying deeper into his hair to tilt his head in a familiar way that had his heart hammering in his chest, lips brushing against her throat for a brief moment at the new angle as he held his breath to see what would come next.

Her lips brushed along the bite mark from the evening before that had barely started to heal, causing his heart to skip a beat as he wondered if she was about to bite him again in the heat of the moment.  She didn’t, though.  Her lips were tender as they pressed against where one fang had pierced him, and then gently over the other, before she started outlining the mark on his neck with a series of soft kisses that had his breath catching with the tingling warmth it sent flashing through him.

Once he knew he wasn’t about to get bit again, he resumed what he’d been doing seconds ago, working his way slowly down her throat and feeling a rumble of a moan building in her chest, feeling a flash of pride and even a little excitement to be drawing that reaction out of her with his attention to her throat for once.

A knock at the door pulled him sharply out of the heat of the moment and back into their time-limited present, growling against her skin loud enough to drown out the little noise of dismay that escaped her lips at the sound as Levi felt his ire rapidly rear its head.

Now was not the time to be intruding upon him, and whoever it was better have a damn good reason for interrupting him.

“What?” he snapped loud enough for whoever was on the other side of the door to hear him, voice still on the gruff side with how little he’d spoken so far this morning and how soon after he’d woken up it was.

“Commander Erwin has requested to see you, Captain,” Eld’s voice answered from the hall, unable to hear the sigh of irritation Levi couldn’t stop from escaping as his grip tightened around Y/N.

Of fucking course it was going to be Erwin calling on him, the one person he couldn’t ignore, especially since the man was awaiting a report about the events of last night–and he needed to talk to anyway to see about moving forwards with Y/N’s goals.  If it had been anyone else he would have told them to fuck off and wait until later.

He would much rather be here in this moment just a few moments longer–

“I can tell what you’d rather do, instead,” she teased him, voice low and breath soft and tantalizing against his throat, not at all helping him resist the urge to stay here with her a little longer as his heart seemed to beat a bit faster at the thought of staying in here and seeing if he could get more than a few gasps and shivers out of her.

“Shut up,” he hissed in warning, arm tensing slightly around her to hold her tighter, not wanting Eld to hear she was on the other side of his locked door so early in the morning.  He could see a teasing smirk playing across her face out of the corner of his eyes, coaxing something in him to rise at the challenge he saw in it.  As she parted her lips to say something else, likely something sassy, Levi, without really thinking about what he was doing besides giving her a quieter, nonverbal warning to hush, nipped at her jaw with his teeth in warning before she could speak again.

She gasped, the sound sharp and shocked, a flush starting to spread across her cheeks at her reaction.

Levi stilled, taken aback by himself.

“Did…did you just bite me?” she asked in shock, and she barely managed to keep her voice at a lower volume, though she was pushing it, and the twitch of her lips towards a grin, the amusement lighting her eyes and the timbre of her voice giving away she was seconds away from laughing, and likely not quietly, either.  That blush on her cheeks remained astride the amusement, however.

“You just bit a vampire–what the hell possessed yo–”

Her voice was starting to rise in volume, and Levi shushed her, the sound sharp but quiet, and quickly muffled as he decided to double down, leaning in quickly to bite again, except a little bit harder and on her neck this time.  His lips and teeth locked around a sensitive patch of skin he was fairly certain was close to where she normally bit him, and a shiver raced down her body that he felt, a strangled whimper escaping her and prompting him to quickly reach out and cover her mouth to muffle the sound lest it reached Eld in the hall.

She held still after that, her breath warm and slightly quicker than normal against his hand as Levi’s arm shifted around her to hold her restricted against him and kept her from moving, his chin brushing against her collar bone as he lifted his head to lock his gaze on the door across the room.

“I’ll be there in a minute,” he called with a clipped tone.

As much as he wanted to stay here and explore that little discovery and the reaction it had invoked from her more…

Interruptions like this was exactly why he’d been hoping to do this last night when they wouldn’t have been interrupted.  Once the day started he was just too busy for anything, or at least had too much to do with other people.

They held that position for several seconds after Eld’s footsteps could be heard retreating from Levi’s door, his hand still over her mouth, both of them still breathing a bit heavier than normal as they slowly came down from the needy high they’d both just been riding.  As Y/N started to relax, her hands came back up to slowly and gently run through Levi’s hair once more, and figuring they weren’t going to be overheard, or at the very least that they had both calmed down enough they weren’t going to be that loud, Levi carefully lowered the hand that had been covering her mouth.  The only sound between them for the first few moments was the long, slow sigh Levi let escape, eyes closed and allowing him a few precious seconds to relish the feel of her hands through his hair a few moments longer.

“Duty calls,” she eventually said, the first to break the silence as her fingers continued to thread through his hair, though her statement had him opening his eyes again to gaze up at her.  “Can't keep the Commander waiting.”

If it had been anyone other than Erwin…

“Y/N…” he started to say softly, the start of a frown tugging at the corner of his lips.  However, she leaned in to kiss one corner of his mouth, then the other, and then tilted his head just slightly so she could place one more lingering, soft kiss to his forehead.

“Later.  We'll talk later when we have the time.  Right now you're expected,” She told him quietly.  The fact she hadn't moved off him yet despite her statements was the clear evidence he wasn't the only one that didn't want to break the moment.  However, when she did pull back after a last few seconds to relish their moment, her fingers trailed along his jaw, prompting his head to tilt and turn to follow their trajectory before that touch fell away as well, leaving him wanting for more.

“I'll see you later,” she promised as she stepped back and started for the door.  Despite his reluctance to let the moment end, she didn't even make it all the way across the room before Levi dutifully got up to retrieve his jacket and cravat to get back to fully redressed before he headed for the meeting with Erwin.

“You two are all over the place with this issue.  And it's not reassuring that you can't seem to make up your minds on your stances for it.”

Erwin was still seated behind his desk, a place that he seemed to be stuck at more and more often with unusually high piles of reports and papers and plans even by his standards.  The paperwork was momentarily being ignored, kept to its stacks and piles around but not currently in front of Erwin.  He was frowning as he looked over at Levi, thumb idly playing with his index finger in small movements as he considered everything that he'd been told about the situation.

Levi shook his head, still leaning against the wall off to Erwin's right where he'd stayed the whole time he'd been telling the man about last night's developments.  “We've argued over how to handle it, especially since the details coming out about the kid just seems to keep making a bigger mess of it all.  But this recent complication put her on her back foot enough to give her pause and make her rethink it all a bit more.  She's still stubborn as ever about helping him, but she's adapting, and willing to accept help.  She even listened when I told her if he doesn't get around this, she'll have to cut ties.”

“And if it goes that way, do you think she actually will, or is that wishful thinking talking?”

Levi considered.  He hoped if it went that way she would listen, that she’d recognize her inability to help and back off without much fuss.  However, there was almost certainly going to be fuss.  She was probably going to try to help him until she absolutely couldn’t any more.

“It might take her a bit longer than I’d like, but I think she will if she realizes it’s hit a point where she can’t help him, as much as she wants to.”

“And your plan to go force his hand into making a decision.  Going in the day so you’re safe outside his cave is a pretty strong natural protection, and I know you’ll be armed just in case something causes the situation to turn ugly, and she’ll be there to restrain him, so I’m not so concerned about the danger of such a meeting that L/N did take issue with originally.  What I am worried about are the people hunting him, and the growing risk of her, and now you, getting caught in the crossfire if he’s found.  These walls can suddenly turn stifling and far too small when one’s on the run from someone, especially from the military,” Erwin said seriously, holding Levi’s gaze.

Levi could feel the tension that gathered in his shoulders at the way Erwin phrased that, able to sense the danger and even /further/ complication headed their way.  “...You were trying to get some Scouts to volunteer to help in the search to have an in with what was happening.  How did that go?”

Erwin hummed, but his steady gaze did not move from Levi.  “Not well.  You’re aware the Garrison are taking it personally, and there’s a squad or two from the Military Police assisting in making the search more efficient.  My offer for volunteers, as easy as it is to excuse it as soldiers needing something to do to help manage the situation, was diverted to other resources–namely maintaining the peace where the Garrison and Military Police are now lacking during the search for the young vampire.  They’re not letting anyone else in, but from what I’ve gleaned, they’re being very thorough with their search.”

It would have been strange for the Military Police to have gotten involved if it wasn’t for how high profile this mess had become.  A criminal that dangerous that had killed two civilians and five Garrison troops?  Of course the Military Police were going to get involved.

As for Emery…they were going to have to come up with a better solution for what to do about this situation besides making him disappear, especially if part of the point, on a practical level to convince Erwin to allow the attempt to help the kid, had been the potential of another vampire in the Scouts eventually.  That wasn’t going to work if the kid’s face was everywhere and he’d become this legend of a murderer that disappeared within the walls, with the Garrison taking it personally and likely to remember and even recognize the kid’s face in the future.  Not to mention, since there were only so many places to hide within the walls, it was very possible that eventually someone was going to stumble across his hiding place–and they didn’t need any more dead bodies.  There were already too many as the situation stood right now.

Forty years ago, Y/N had to shake the Garrison off her tail as well, and it had been an effective method, but drastic.  He wouldn’t bring it up here, now, with Erwin–he would talk to Y/N first, see what ideas she had that could help settle this issue before it spiraled any further out of control.

As if it hadn’t already–as if they didn’t already have their plates overflowing with all the shit they were busy shoveling right now between the fall of Maria and the resulting refugee and food shortage crisis bearing down on them, Emery–a situation that just kept multiplying in issues–and Y/N’s vampire drama between hunters and her sire, as Erwin had called the vampire that turned her.

“We’ll be mindful of that going forward.  And I’ll add talking about what to do about that situation to the list of things we need to discuss and try to find a solution to while we’re all there.”

Erwin leaned forward, gaze still unwavering from Levi, even as Levi had been mulling over his thoughts.  The scrutiny was something Levi was still trying to adjust to, well aware that Erwin was watching his actions and decisions more closely than he had in some time.  All to make sure the budding relationship between himself and Y/N wasn’t clouding his judgment in any way.  “Do you think that you'll be able to persuade him into being more...considerate of the situation he's created?”

That he was certain of.  No matter how the situation went, Levi was going to draw the line in the sand and make sure the kid ended up on one side or the other, whether that meant they cut ties or they finally made some damn progress.

“If the kid can't make up his mind with the ultimatum he's going to get, then there's no helping him.  Either he listens and accepts the help she's trying to give him, or there won't be any more arrangement,” Levi said flatly.

He was willing to let Y/N try this–as insane as it made him with the rising risks attached to it–and back her decision.  He understood why she was doing it.  But he wasn’t going to allow this kid to create a situation that threatened to destroy everything she’d managed to scrape together for herself recently, that she’d worked so hard to build.

He wasn’t going to allow a situation that would punish her for Emery’s decisions.

Erwin seemed to be satisfied with Levi’s answer, or at least the look in Levi’s eyes while he considered just how resolute he was about making sure Emery didn’t cause Y/N harm directly or indirectly, because he nodded, leaning back in his seat and finally looking away.  “Good.  Then I expect a resolution and progress when you two return from your trip in a few days to help with the refugees staying in the western part of Rose as part of our efforts to help ease the strain of managing this refugee crisis.”

Erwin frowned at the mention of the refugee crisis, and even though it had sounded like the end of the conversation, Levi could tell there was more coming, so he waited to hear what else Erwin had to say.

“Speaking of…just as a warning, Levi:  The Council has started talking about their culling plan again.  Much more actively this time.”

Levi felt his heart stop for a moment.  If they were talking about it actively now, then…it was coming.  Sooner rather than later, no doubt, given the look on Erwin’s face as he poured over more detailed maps of what Levi now saw were parts of the territory of Maria closest to Rose’s wall.

It was close enough Erwin was starting to make plans for how they were going to handle it when the dirty work inevitably got shunted onto them.

Levi didn’t have any words for that.  Didn’t even want to think about it beyond what was necessary, not until it was time for him to have to think about it.  But the warning that it was coming was still appreciated, since it gave him time to start mentally preparing himself.

He didn’t address it, however.  He simply reverted back to the conversation they’d been having before the warning.

“I’ll update her when she’s back from visiting Emery.  We’ll have finished before the end of the week.”

It seemed they wouldn’t be able to afford to be gone any longer than that.

Next Chapter--->

Everything Tags:   @antistellxr 

Levi Tags:  @clary-quinn @ayatosmlktea @whalerus @sunny-flo @thirstyforsometea @hauntedhousecat @peaches-and-clouds @imaginationmess @wubbawubwub04 @lollobos @pasteldays @itsmeaudriee @macaronnv @tokyo-banana @apuci-kis-szornye @momowantscats @yellowminb @ashikothedog @notgoodforlife @spnwinchestersd @xxdarkdarlingxx @joy-the-reader

~Fred~

She's really done it to us. George and I can't seem to stop talking about her. Don't get me wrong, I love me a beautiful woman and everyone knows this. However, I haven't even been able to look in another girl's direction since she started giving us the time of day. I really don't know what changed between last year and this year but i'm really happy it did.

"Brother, are you alright?" George shakes my shoulder, snapping me out of my daze.

"Yeah i'm alright. Just thinking." I look out over the forbidden forest from a distance.

"Lee?" He picks his head up and takes in the view with me.

"Yep." I sigh.

"Don't I know it. What are we doing?" He asks me and, i'm sure, himself.

"I couldn't tell you. What I can tell you is that we're both immensely infatuated with her and she wants both of us. Isn't that what we've wanted?" I stand up and start to walk the corridor.

"It almost angers me how much this confuses me. I want her to be ours but I don't want to scare her away even though she's stuck around this long." I continue my tangent until George catches up.

"Relax, brother. She wouldn't treat us the way she does if she didn't want to be a part of whatever this is. We'll have a conversation with her where we define everything but in the meantime, take a breath. You're bloody Fred Weasley. You could walk into any of those rooms in that school and have a girl swooning over you." He tries to boost me up.

"But none of them are her and you know that. You saw her this morning. The angel that she is wants to waste her time with the terror twins. Are we going to fuck her up?" I sit down on a bench and look up at my brother.

"Are you kidding? The first thing we did today was fuck her but trust me, even if it's the last thing we ever do we won't fuck her up. Have some faith." He pats my shoulder and his words stick with me. He's right. She will end up with us.

~

My day continues on, class to class, fucking off. I'd rather be spending my time reading to Lee than listening to the professors ramble on.

Me? Reading? What the fuck is this girl doing to me.

The last bell of the day tolls loud and proud as I grab my things and get back to my room. After sitting around and thinking for a couple of hours, I change my clothes and grab my walkman and headphones with George's Aerosmith cassette, the one Lee brought him over from America. I go to open the door and almost run straight into George, who has a confused look on his face.

"Where are you off to?" We swap places, me ending up outside the doorway.

"I'm going to go for a walk to clear my head. I've been thinking too much today." I look down at my walkman and then back at him. I lift it up in my hand and nod his way.

"I'm borrowing your tape by the way." He smirks.

"Our tape." He corrects me and I smile, understanding his multiple meanings. I make my way to my usual starting point, the elm tree by the lake. I stop dead in my tracks when I see the very reason I need to clear my head sitting beneath the tree with a book in her hands.

I really wouldn't expect anything less.

"You finished Of Mice and Men already?" She jumps a mile out of her skin and clutches her chest, laughing at her own fright. She closes her tattered copy of My Fair Lady and stands up.

"Yeah, It was great as always. I cried. It was a whole thing. I really don't want to talk about it." She flashed me a sheepish grin and it made me very aware of the dimple in her cheek. 

She's so fucking pretty.

"What're you out this way for?" She looks me up and down, addressing my attire which happened to be jeans and a red sweater. I shove my hands in my pockets.

"I was going to go for a walk, but it is getting rather dark isn't it?" I look up toward the sky and she does the same. I look down at her as she's taking a second to admire the clouds and I cant stop thinking about how it felt to kiss her neck and have her melt beneath me.

I need to collect myself before I take her underneath this tree.

"Yeah we should probably get back to our common rooms." She looks me dead in the eyes and hooks her finger in one of my belt loops. In one swift motion, she's tugging me behind her as we're walking towards the castle. She lets go of me as soon as we step into the hallways and I already miss her touch. I let her walk in front of me so I can mindlessly follow her. My eyes drift from her ponytail to her small waist, landing on her tight ass. My hands almost tremble at the thought of grabbing her and having my way with her, so I shove them deeper in my pockets and take a breath.

"You alright back there?" she tosses a smirk over her shoulder at me, not knowing the demons I'm currently fighting.

"I'm doing just fine." I look down at her and see something flash in her eyes before her smile widens. She takes a hard left, faster than i've ever seen her move. I follow right behind her, confused as hell when she rips open the door to one of Filch's custodial cupboards. She yanks me inside after her and swiftly closes the door, locking it behind us.

"What the fuck are you doing?" I ask her with a hint of excitement in my hushed voice. She further shushes me and dimly illuminates the small space with her wand.

"You have to be extremely quiet and we have to make sure you don't knock anything over." She looks around our immediate area, making sure we're in the clear and uses Nox to return us to complete darkness.

"Okay I understand the being quiet part but why am I the one that's going to be knocking something over? You're the clumsy one, why are you assuming it's me-" I shut the fuck up when I feel her unbutton my jeans. My breath slightly hitches as the silence is filled with the sound of my zipper. I hear her exhale a small laugh before she releases me from my underwear. 

A sigh escapes me as I feel her warm, wet lips capture my throbbing tip.

Holy fucking hell I never want this to end.

~

I arrive back at the Gryffindor common room to see my brother awaiting my arrival on the couch. He immediately looks at me and notices the slight smile on my face.

A touch can spur a range of emotions, namely: anger, repulsion, nausea. A comforting pat on the arm is useless. A hard kiss on the mouth drags the beast from within, moaning and writhing with falsified passion. The grasping of wrists drags the demons out, shrieking with terror showing in the whites of their eyes.

A certain cologne dredges up memories you wish you could bury. He smiled like a waning moon, swept you off your feet. Red blood on white linen. Your walls never crumbled so quickly. That sickly-clean smell of the hospital. You dated briefly, married quickly. The sea-foam green walls. You only held your daughter once she was lifeless, wrapped in pink. Her little eyes are closed, her mother’s tears fall on her face, and the demised child weeps.

Past the divorce, the sorrow, the attempts on your own life, you found your footing again. Rekindled an old friendship that you thought you had let slip through your fingers completely. The two of you were thick as thieves. Part of you — the saddest, touch-starved parts — thought you were in love with her. She was your soulmate, but also your truest friend. While there were nights that you held her hand, and nights where you sobbed in her arms, the love you had for her was a platonic enigma.

But the two of you were always creatives, dreaming up fantasies and fairy tales and stories. Each of you had published before — you had your poetry, short stories, and a novella. She, two novellas and an anthology of intertwined short stories. When she suggested the two of you team up, a fire lit inside you that you hadn’t felt in years.

While neither of you were particularly well known authors, you decided to merge two identities into one, separating collaboration from independent works and thus, Ducky Castor was born. The pen name you two shared was nothing more than two random words. A hoax — convincing the general public you were both one person was easy at first. The first book you released together, one-third of a trilogy, started out quietly. 

“The Moon is My Mother” was a book of little magic, intertwined vignettes of overcoming grief, the balance of magic, nature and the universe, and starting a ten-year war in the name of love. The reception was positive, but mostly quiet. Then, almost as if overnight, the series exploded. One review of the book on the TapTap app from three months ago finally went viral. As if everyone who had bought the book and finally finished it at the same time, decided to share the review and agree.

Earlier that year, it had been nominated for a Graeber-Collins award for “Best New Fantasy.” Just last week, you won the award, and while you both wanted to accept in person, to rub it in the faces of everyone who said you couldn’t, you didn’t want to accumulate a level of fame that felt overwhelming. Instead, keeping up the charade, your literary agent — Alexa — kindly accepted the award on your behalf, reading a written statement, thanking a fictitious family, very real editors, and the musical group who inspired the story with their title track, “Black Swan.”

Which now explains your current circumstance: sitting in a conference room of your publishing house’s London branch, next to your best friend and co-author — Lala. The shoutout to these seven boys was so under the radar, you weren’t expecting them to reach out when they heard about the television adaptation, wanting to produce a few songs for the OST. 

Had you and Lala — sweetly — requested that the first Korean translations of the book be sent to them? Yes. Had you gently referenced them within the pages of your book? Also yes. But, to compare yourselves to the monolith, you didn’t think they’d actually read it.

They’re busy. However often they wondered aloud in videos what their fans did on a daily basis, or what their fans' lives must be like … you also knew they were businessmen. Marketers selling a product. Essentially selling an entire experience. The venn diagram of how these men marketed themselves and how sex-workers marketed themselves was a circle. They would say anything in the most genuine voices, but deep down, you knew they didn’t actually care. Why would they? They were laughing all the way to the bank.

But now, the anticipation of waiting for two of them to show up was going to kill you. 

“Stop bouncing your leg, you’re shaking the table,” your friend teases, breaking the silence.

“Sorry,” you laugh, crossing your legs at the ankle to keep the nervous energy from collecting there. “What time is it?”

Lala taps her phone screen twice, glancing at the time but getting distracted by several notifications. Several moments later, she swipes one of the notifications and begins furiously texting a friend, before locking the screen and setting it back down.

“The time?” you inquire again, a fond smile spreading across your face.

“Oh, shit,” she laughs easily and checks her phone again. “11:11, make a wish,” she jokes. An old, silly pastime, but it helps calm your nerves.

You close your eyes tight, making a silent wish that they show up soon.

“Peanut butter,” you say, and watch Lala’s left eyebrow quirk up as a question mark. “You know, to make it stick.”

Lala’s eyes roll so far back in her head, you can only see the whites. This sends the both of you into a fit of giggles. There were only a few minutes left until the meeting was about to start, but you had showed up grotesquely early — for once — due to your anticipation. You didn’t know which two members you and Lala would be meeting with, but you had a sneaking suspicion one of them would be Yoongi. The other member? Either sad-art-ho Namjoon, or pop-culture-icon Hoseok. You had no complaints or preference either way. All seven members were, to put it bluntly, daddy candidates. 

Your mind-numbing scroll through social media was interrupted by two knocks on the door. Your head snaps in the direction of the noise as the handle turns, your stomach mirroring the twisting motion.

Three men enter the room, two of whom you recognise immediately, despite the face masks: Yoongi and Hoseok. The third man who joins them must be their interpreter. You rise from your seat and smile warmly at them, before realising you’re also wearing a mask and they can’t see your smile, idiot. Hopefully the gesture reaches your eyes.

They greet you with polite bows and introductions, and you mirror their mannerisms, giving a polite bow in return.

“I’m Lala,” your friend jumps in with her own introduction. “One of the head writers for the adaptation.”

As their interpreter translates and they greet her, you prepare to introduce yourself. Just as you open your mouth to give your name, a large group passes by the still-open door, chattering loudly. Hopefully, they hear you give your name.

“… but everyone just calls me Lulu,” is all that you can hear leave your mouth. “I’m the other head writer for the adaptation. Thanks for making the trip to meet with us.”

“Lala and Lulu?” Hoseok asks, the smile reaching his eyes. He must think this is a joke. In a way, it is, but despite the differences between you and Lala, you wanted everyone to know that the two of you were a team.

“Consider LULA the western version of SOPE,” you say with a smile, hoping it doesn’t come across as corny as it sounds in retrospect. Lala rolls her eyes, but the boys smile at you both, and you feel your legs getting weak.

The meeting goes well, the boys asking thoughtful questions and taking notes. There’s one question that’s been burning in the back of your mind since they reached out, and finally with a lull in the conversation, you glance at Lala and this gives you the strength to ask it.

“Did you guys read the book?” you hope the question doesn’t come across as rude, but you know if you try to contextualise it within the chaos of how your mind works, you’ll only dig yourself into a deeper hole. Both boys glance at each other.

“I started it on the plane,” Hoseok admits with a laugh. His carefree demeanour makes it hurt just a little less.

“I read it,” Yoongi says, almost proudly.

“Namjoon read it twice, I think,” Hoseok adds, “He was mad he couldn’t come.”

“Ah,” is all you manage to say. Part of you wants to know why he couldn’t come, but the other part of you knows it isn’t your business. There’s a third part of you that is still a little disheartened that Hoseok only just started the book. He seems to sense this by the way your eyes glaze over.

“I’m almost done with it,” he says, offering a smile. “I just started ‘The Magician’ chapter, with Theodore? The back and forth of the timelines with the upright and reversed interpretations of the major arcana is really well done.” 

You find a smile spreading across your face. He’s almost done with it. 

“I had to explain what the major arcana is to him,” Yoongi says, not looking up from his notebook where he finishes writing a few notes. You still smile behind your mask, you know, like an idiot. 

“You work closely with the author, right?” Yoongi asks, his eyes settling on the space between you and Lala. Your stomach twists — does he know?

“Yeah,” Lala says, effortlessly cool in these situations.

“What can you tell us about book two?”

“What can you tell us about your next comeback?” Lala asks, and that seems to put a stop to the prying questions. They both nod with a smile.

The meeting wraps up after a few more details are hammered out.

“So, we can meet up in the next week or so with a rough demo, and go from there,” Hoseok says, gathering his things up and packing them neatly into his bag. His phone is immediately in his hand, and he’s swiping through apps until he pulls up his calendar. You flip through your planner until you land on that month’s calendar.

“So, book two is launching next week,” you say, staring at the full days of the upcoming week, some of them amended with post-it notes. “And the pilot script is due by the end of the month,” You say as you rearrange a couple appointments and cross off another, making a note to cancel and reschedule them. “I can free up about three hours on Thursday, after lunch. Let’s say from one to four?” you ask, pen at the ready. He gives the affirmative and you block off that part of the day with a flourish and a pink highlighter.

“My Father Wept at Dawn’s First Light” is an excellent sophomore publication from mysterious author, Ducky Castor. Readers will be drawn back by the same compelling, wistful narrative of the struggles of war, love, loss, and magic. This dazzling sequel to “The Moon is My Mother” will keep you turning pages, even after it’s done. – Simon Lionel, Marie Claire Book Club

“Gripping, devastating, haunting.” – Sam Winters, BookBub Magazine

“This book oozes more talent than I have in my entire collection of work. Outstanding storytelling from my new favourite author.” – G. R. Mathis, author of “Windowless House”

“When did publishers start putting reviews on the back of books instead of the book synopsis?” you ask, mouth half-full with a bite of yoghurt. In front of you lies a copy of the second book, the back of the dust-cover full of glowing reviews.

“Whenever you decided it was okay to put your feet on the table,” Lala says, giving you a sideways glance. You smile and pull your feet down to the chair next to you instead.

“Floor,” Lala says.

“Yes, mommy,” you say, cheekily, and set your feet on the floor.

“Reviews on the back of books are just publishers calling consumers and readers, ah, not very intelligent. It’s like a content creator being sponsored,” Lala says.

“No, I know that. But why can’t they put the reviews on the inside of the dust cover? Why are they taking up valuable real estate with an info-mercial of the book?” you press.

“Specifically to bother you,” Lala replies.

Your eyes roll into the back of your head as you lean back over your laptop to finish writing an email. After several minutes of looking for the word you want to use but cannot — for the life of you — recall from the depths of your memory, you close the lid with a soft snap and push it away from you.

“I guess we should get ready for meeting part two,” you say. “Think I have time for a shower?”

“Is it just a hair-and-face shower, or whole body shower?” Lala asks, looking over the rim of her teacup at you.

“Whole body, lite?” you offer.

Lala grunts. “They’re not going to take us on the conference room table, no matter how hard we manifest it, bestie,” she says.

“… Then just a hair-and-face shower,” you say.

“I think dry-shampoo and deodorant would suffice,” she says. “You’re running on Lulu-time today.”

You groan. She’s right. Notoriously late and scatter-brained due to your packed schedule (that excuse only works for the next few weeks, until things settle down), you know that your brain doesn’t process time properly the minute you unplug and step into the shower.

“What if I —" you start.

“No,” Lala says with a bright smile. “Throw it up in a bun with some dry shampoo and take your whore-bath.”

You pout and head to the bathroom to freshen up. Between stretching yourself too thin and general mental health issues, your personal hygiene sometimes fell to the wayside. Once in the bathroom you check the time on your phone. You have forty-five minutes before you have to leave. It’s risky, but you set an alarm for half an hour and start the shower.

You and Lala arrive with only minutes to spare. She’s mad, but you’re clean and that’s good enough in your book. The boys haven’t arrived yet, and you count that as the day’s second little blessing. You quickly unpack your laptop and notebook, and the little gifts you prepared for Yoongi and Hoseok.

You’ve only just set their gifts at their seats when they knock and enter the conference room. Their eyes settle on the gifts with fondness. You greet them with a small bow and gesture to their seats.

“We come bearing gifts for you, as a thank you for the work you’re doing,” you say. “You can open them now, if you like,” you add as you sit back at your laptop. You pull your mask down low enough to take a long swig of your coffee, before replacing it on your face.

Hoseok is the first to settle in and peek into the bag, extracting the card from the tissue paper. The words inside are typed — as if done on an old fashioned type-writer.

Hoseok — J-Hope: Thank you for lending some of your genius to the soundtrack. It’s an honour for me to know that you liked my book enough to help with the adaptation. I had hoped (ha!) that I could have given this to you in person. Alas, my privacy is very near and dear to me. Perhaps one day we can meet and you can tell me your favourite parts, and I’ll tell you my favourite songs. Please accept this gift as a token of my gratitude. Light and love in all aspects of your life, - Ducky

You watch his eyes grow wide as he pulls away the tissue paper, revealing the hardcover, first editions of both “The Moon is My Mother” and “My Father Wept at Dawn’s First Light”. Yoongi’s gift is the same, though his card is different:

Yoongi — SUGA: Thank you for lending some of your genius to the soundtrack. I know it will be a hit, even if the adaptation flops. I never expected my little book of stories to get to this level, but I am thankful for it. While I had imagined giving you this gift myself, the thought of revealing myself to the world seems too great. Perhaps another time. Please accept this gift as my unending gratitude. Love and light in all your endeavours, - Ducky

“I bet those are signed,” you say off-handedly, taking another long sip of your coffee, knowing full well that they are signed. You and Lala signed them yourselves, last night. Each book has a scrawl on the inside title page (Lala’s handiwork), and the name ‘Ducky’ printed beneath it, with a small doodle of a duck-head (your handiwork).

Both Yoongi and Hoseok are quiet for a moment, marvelling at the gifts they received. At some point you wonder if they don’t like the gifts.

“How do we thank her?” Hoseok asks, after a long pause.

“Them,” you gently correct. “You can send them a thank you card by addressing it to the publishing company, or you can hand us the card and we’ll make sure they get it.”

They nod, and after a few more moments of silence, Yoongi clears his throat.

“So, we have a rough demo of the opening track,” he says, clicking on his laptop. “We have two versions, actually,” he amends. “One is just the instrumental, and one has lyrics.” Before you can acknowledge this, he’s opened the instrumental track and handed you a headset. He waits for you to put them on before he presses play.

“This is the instrumental,” he says before your ears are flooded with the soft, rich sound of a cello. You close your eyes to listen to it. Slowly, it crescendos, and various other string instruments layer in with rhythmic runs, percussion marking time. Above it all, two violins swirl a melody; simultaneously a dance and a fight — two separate themes becoming one in harmony. While you don’t know the lyrical version yet, you can imagine the violins emphasising two voices. Somewhere along the way, your musical knowledge from university takes over, and you find yourself conducting an imaginary orchestra until the final notes release their hold and you open your eyes.

You can feel the smile on your face, and a small reservoir of tears pool in the corners of your eyes.

“This is beautiful,” you say, passing the headset to Lala to allow her to experience it. You wait until she sets the headset on the table before you continue your thought from earlier. 

“It almost reminds me of …” you pause to rack your brain for a moment. “Frank Ticheli’s compositions,” you say, recalling the name of your favourite contemporary composer. “Very ‘Angels in the Architecture’ meets ‘Vesuvius’. This is exactly what I envisioned,” you say, using the guise of adjusting your glasses to wipe the tears from your eyes on the sly.

Neither Lala, Hoseok, or Yoongi give any inclination that they know who or what you’re talking about. It doesn’t matter. If they wanted to know more, they’d surely ask. … Right?

“The lyrical version is just me crowing into a microphone,” Hoseok says, trying to remain humble. “We don’t need to show them that,” he adds, turning to Yoongi.

“Why would you deprive me of my favourite vocalist’s vocals?” you ask, grabbing up the headset again. “I want to hear it,” you reassure him as you settle the headset over your ears again. Yoongi presses play and you hear the familiar instrumental rise in your ears, this time joined with Hoseok’s deep voice crooning Korean lyrics with the strings. You needed this version of the track for … deeply personal reasons.

“Can you send me that?” You ask, unabashed, when it finishes. “I want to listen to it again later, maybe with some candles lit and a fancy dinner,” you go on to explain, making a light joke but also insinuating exactly what you’ll be doing later. They laugh, and from there you fall into a comfortable conversation about the track, the adaptation, and the second book release.

“Lulu and I were each asked to read a chapter at the launch party,” Lala says, humbly boasting about the honour you bestowed upon yourselves.

“Oh, that’s exciting!” Hoseok says, the smile behind his mask lighting up all of his features. “When is the launch party?”

“Tomorrow, starts around five,” you say, then lean forward with a conspiratorial look on your face. “We each have a plus one, if you boys would like to join us.” Did you just shoot your shot? Hell yeah you did.

Yoongi and Hoseok look at each other for a moment then nod.