Yes, I Love Them, Fight Me

*Levi’s POV*

Levi stayed throughout the night.

He could have gone back to his room after she fell asleep, made sure there wasn’t any chance for one of them to be caught spending the night in the other’s room, but he decided tonight could be an exception.

Besides, he was comfortable where he was, basking in her warmth and the feeling of her resting over his heart, his hand at her side feeling the steady rise and fall of her chest beneath his fingers…she’d fallen asleep so quickly when she was curled up next to him like that, he didn’t want to risk waking her up trying to untangle himself from her.

He didn’t fall asleep in part because he didn’t want to soil the peace of the moment with the nightmares that would no doubt be waiting for him if he did allow himself to fall asleep.  He was still resting, still settled into the silence of the room with her and relaxing into their embrace, he just didn’t sleep, not really.  At most, he might have started to doze here and there, caught between the waking and sleeping worlds.

The fact Y/N kept waking up from nightmares was the other half of the reason he didn’t sleep.  There were periods of time when she was falling back asleep where it would be calm and quiet, and Levi would start to doze near the end, feel his eyelids grow heavy and his vision blurring as his focus on the room around them slipped.

But then her legs would twitch, her hands would clench and unclench, head twitching as if she was looking around, small noises slipping past her lips…

He knew she was going to abruptly wake long before she did, and it would pull him out of his sleepier state and back into the present, already seeking to soothe her before she even finished waking up.  He’d thread his fingers back into hers in a reassuring grip, gently smooth the hair from her face before resting his hand on her head, keeping her held securely against him so that when she woke with a full body start as if she was about to lurch into action, she would find herself already grounded and safe in his arms, far from the danger, blood, and screams that were no doubt haunting her sleep.

She didn’t fall asleep as easily after a nightmare.  She’d hold him tighter, bury her face in his chest–sometimes he’d feel the slip of tears rubbed from her eyes and onto his chest, but he didn’t say anything about it–and work on steadying her breathing, keeping her eyes closed.  They didn’t say anything, she didn’t share what her nightmares were about–they didn’t need to.  They both knew.  If Levi had been sleeping, he was certain he would have been suffering from similar nightmares.

While she worked on calming down and slipping back into sleep, Levi would keep an eye on the room around them, keeping watch to help put her fears to rest until she felt secure enough to fall back asleep.

No matter how many times she startled awake, she kept her hand resting over his heart with her head nestled right next to it, curled up and letting the beating of his heart lull her back to sleep.

He couldn’t have peeled her off him even if he’d tried, though it was the last thing he wanted.  He was savoring this, the sensation of not being alone on one of the bloody nights, the peace he would never have found tonight on his own, the way having her close to him like this made him feel, the way having her fall asleep to the beat of his heart made him feel like…

He couldn’t pin down a word to describe it.  Light, like he would float away?  Warm–she always made him feel warm and comfortable, but this was special, this was something else.  Bright in his heart didn’t make sense and yet for some reason it did at the same time.

Whatever it was, the feeling in his chest at that moment, he wasn’t going to disturb it or cut it short.  He stayed right there beside her the whole night, dozing in the comfortable quiet and keeping watch over her and helping lull her back to sleep when the nightmares returned, long after the lamplight went out on it’s own from a lack of fuel and no one tending to it, until he started to hear the birdsong and the darkness outside her window started to brighten with the approaching dawn.

Now was about the time that he would normally start moving around for the day, but she was still passed out asleep on him with no signs of waking up yet.  Considering her sleep had been rocky with periods of waking between spells of sleep, he didn’t exactly want to wake her up, and he didn’t like the thought of her waking to find him gone after he’d promised he’d stay.

He could stay longer.  If someone went looking for him and didn’t find him in his office, they’d assume he was out and about getting things done for the day–it would be a long time before anyone thought to check Y/N’s room.

He hoped.

Lifting the arm that wasn’t in any way restricted with her lying atop him, Levi gently brushed her hair back from her face, keeping his touch light so it wouldn’t disturb her, and letting his fingers thread deeper back into her hair in the process, taking the time to feel the smooth slip of her hair–softer than normal so soon after a bath– between his fingers as his eyes roamed her sleeping features.  His gaze traced the outline of her eyes, the curve of her nose, the soft lines of her parted lips allowing the gentle breaths to breeze gently across his skin.

She was beautiful…in every way.

His arm tightened slightly around her, holding her a touch closer to him, fingers brushing against the smooth skin of her side.  His mind immediately started to recall the feel of her straddling his leg, the little noise in the back of her throat that had built to an audible, breathy groan as his lips worked their way around her throat, her body arching into him while his hands felt the curves once he couldn’t recall places to trace scars anymore, the smooth warmth so soft and pliable beneath his hands–

No, stop, not right now–

Levi blinked a few more times than he needed to, as if shaking the thoughts free of his mind by doing so.  Now was definitely not the time for those kinds of memories and thoughts.  Today was going to be a busy day once she woke and he got moving–he had his report on yesterday’s events to write, two sets of gear and clothes to clean, he needed to see Erwin and talk to him about what had happened, and he wanted to be keeping an eye on her to make sure she continued to be okay, or at least cope more healthily than accidentally almost shutting out her humanity–

Not today.

Making sure she didn’t break again was at the top of his priority list.  He didn’t really know what advice to give her about how to cope, or even if he could, considering everyone coped differently.  She’d already seemed to have her own methods and had done extraordinarily well in coping with her vampire lifestyle and reality.  He was hoping that now that she had her feet back under her and had been grounded, she’d be okay moving forwards, that she’d find what worked for her.

Last time something had truly bothered her, it had resulted in pages of haunting drawings of his near death experience suddenly filling her sketchbook, looking so out of place amongst her captured moments of the horses and the squad, her nature drawings…

Maybe that was something he could do.

Maybe.

It was dangerous to be heading out as a Scout right now–today especially.  The food shortage hadn’t magically been fixed overnight by the sacrifice of the three hundred thousand, it would still take a little while for things to improve back to sustainable, and today everything was still raw and at the forefront of everyone’s minds.  The Scouts were prime targets, and stepping out into public was just asking for some kind of conflict to break out.

He’d think about it.  Maybe if he kept his head low and went out in civilian clothes, and made it quick and direct, he could avoid the worst of a conflict.

Y/N shifted in her sleep, one of her arms stretching out to lay more haphazardly across his chest, face turning into his chest so that her nose and lips were pressed against his pectoral, and he had to stifle a soft snort at the way her face was now smushed into him, the sound cut short by him holding his breath as her leg rose higher so her thigh was lying across his waist, clinging to him even fast asleep.

Closing his eyes, Levi focused on his breathing, on the steady in and out, on keeping completely still.  He was not going to think of how warm and close she was, how right it felt to have her pressed against him even if it wasn’t the most comfortable when she was partially rolled onto his arm like that, the limb starting to tingle and go numb–

There was a fairly loud knock on the door, enough that it made both of them start, Levi tensing and holding Y/N closer at the abrupt sound, and Y/N startled awake with her head lifting off his chest, eyes blinking blearily without being awake enough to truly see the world around her, yet.  There was light outside her window by now, yes, and most of the soldiers here that had things to do today would be up by now, but he wouldn’t have expected anyone to be here of all places this early besides the two of them–

“Y/N!  Rise and shine!” A familiar voice sing-songed.

He should have known.

“I’ve come to claim you before Short Stack can hog all the cheering up duties.  You’re joining me for some experiments today!” Hange continued to prattle at a volume loud enough to wake Y/N if she hadn’t already.

Levi scowled at the comment about him, glancing down at Y/N as she tried to bury her face in him with a soft groan, pulling the blankets higher until she had the fisted ends covering her hands pressed against her cheeks.  Her eyes were squinted against the morning light in their own protest, undecided if they would rebel and stay closed or if she would crack her eyelids open to start to adjust to the morning light.

“I hope you’re already awake and ready to move, because if not, you only have until I pick this lock before I come in to collect you myself!”

The threat was delivered with a deceptively cheerful voice that let Levi and Y/N know that Hange was not joking, and was in fact prepared to force her way in to see Y/N and to do her part to make sure she was going to be okay.

Levi carefully untangled himself from Y/N as fast as he could without ripping himself harshly free and without making so much noise he tipped Hange off to the fact that he was in here.  Y/N curled into a ball after he’d pulled himself free with a disgruntled groan, staying in that position under the covers for a solid few seconds before her head popped out from under the covers, nose scrunched up and lips pulled into a pout.

Hange had already run into them during their first kiss.  Considering this was a single room private room with the small washroom off to the side and as soon as Hange entered she would be able to see the bed, he had to move before she got inside.  He didn’t want her to also run in on them in their state of half undress in the bed together–he’d never hear the end of it.

Once his feet had silently found stable footing on the floor, he leaned over to give Y/N a kiss on the forehead, scooping his shoes up from their spot on the floor beside the bed, leaning over to snatch his shirt off the floor as well.  He could hear rattling at the door as Hange worked on picking the lock like she’d threatened to do, prompting him to hastily duck into the bathroom and get the door as close to shut as he could without making noise, mere moments before he heard the door to Y/N’s room swing open.

“I knew it–still in bed!” Hange announced once she was inside, her footsteps crossing the room approaching the bed.

Levi drew further behind the door, just in case, already starting to quietly pull on his shirt just in case he was discovered.  A quick glance in the mirror showed the usual shadows under his eyes after a sleepless night, but also smooth and unblemished skin along his throat despite her sensual biting last night–though the old bite marks were still there.  As he buttoned up his shirt, he could also see that the bruise on his wrist had vanished, and every scar he normally didn’t pay any attention to felt more…prominent, this morning.  Thankfully, he didn’t think it was in a bad way.  He wasn’t plagued with memories of injuries and suffering.  Instead, he was imagining the feel of her fingers and lips against his skin last night, treating each spot with tender reverence and providing a new perspective to view each unique mark on his skin.

“Go away,” Y/N moaned, the muffled sound suggesting she was burying herself into her blankets again to try and hide from Hange’s approach.  “Let me sleep.”

“Nope!”

The cheerful exclamation was followed by a rush of fabric, and a strangled noise of aggravation and distress from Y/N–Hange had likely just pulled the covers from the bed to keep her from hiding beneath them.

“You and I are going to spend the morning together, and have plenty of time for nice, long heart to hearts,” Hange announced.

Footsteps drew closer to the door, and Levi quickly slid closer to the door so that when it opened he could hide behind it.

“Does it have to be so early?”

“What are you talking about?  This is the Scouts–You’ve slept in already!  And like I said, I had to get here early if I wanted to beat Levi to the punch before he could whisk you away to keep you all for himself like he has the past few months,” Hange was saying as the door opened and she walked inside, Levi sliding as deep as he could into the corner behind the door and staying as quiet as possible.  He could hear water splashing into a container, likely the small pitcher–

“Now, let’s hop to–If I need to, I’ll encourage you with a nice flash of cool water.”

“You wouldn’t dare.”

Levi could envision Hange’s mischievous grin in his mind’s eye as her footsteps came to a halt in the bathroom doorway.

“You bet I would.  C’mon, hurry up, before he intercepts us!”

Y/N sighed, the sound heavy and reluctant, but he could hear movement in the room, and Hange hadn’t moved from her position in the doorway.  She’d finally gotten out of bed and started moving around, prompting Hange to put the pitcher back on the wash basin counter.

“Hey, I don’t see your gear anywhere?” Hange called inquisitively before she bounced out of the bathroom, shutting the door completely behind her and allowing Levi to relax from his cramped, tense position behind the door.  

“Levi probably took it last night to clean it,” Y/N responded without missing a beat.

Safe behind the shut door of the bathroom, Levi slipped on his shoes, barely able to make out the softest chuckle, coming from Hange based on her proximity to the bathroom door since she didn’t seem to have strayed too far from it.

“Are you sure you didn’t accidentally use some kind of vampire charm on him or something?  Cause he’s all tangled up in his heartstrings trying to learn to play them for you.”

It was a damn good thing he was out of sight and was supposed to be quiet right now, because her statement had heat immediately rising to his face, breath catching and held to keep him from trying to snap out a defense that would probably amount to just telling her to shut the fuck up about shit she didn’t know shit about.

“He was just being thoughtful,” Y/N murmured, sounding further away.  She was probably over by her dresser trying to get dressed in something acceptable for off duty but still doing things around headquarters.

“Oh, yes, certainly, that’s all it is, you’re absolutely right,” Hange teased.

There was the sound of Hange’s footsteps moving across the floor towards where Y/N was, and he heard a soft ‘oof’ uttered by Y/N before Hange was speaking again around the sound of stumbling feet, the noise moving towards the door to Y/N’s room.

“Come on, let’s get out of here before someone else tries to steal you away.”

“I really don’t think you have to worry about that, Hange…”

The door opened, shut, and he heard the sound of their voices and footsteps disappearing down the hall.  He waited a full minute after he’d stopped hearing them before he stepped out of the bathroom, looking at the haphazard state the bedroom had been left in the wake of Hange’s determined attempts to drag Y/N out of sulking in her bedroom and getting her to do something else entirely.

The bedsheets were at least tossed back onto the bed, though they were spilling onto the floor.  One of the dresser drawers were partially open, the clothes Y/N had slept in last night were in a pile kicked off to the side in a bundle–

Messier than normal, given how Hange had been rushing her out.

Levi at least took the time to make the bed, shut the drawer, and put the dirty clothes in their proper place before he slipped out of her room once he was certain no one was passing by in the hallway.

He needed to go clean for a while, partially to check that part off his list, but also to cool down and do some thinking.

Or at least distract himself from Hange’s little comment about him and his feelings.

*Reader’s POV*

Hange didn’t waste any time with detours, dragging you directly to her office with far more energy than you could currently keep up with.  You’d intended to sleep in and rest today, and having to abruptly be up and moving around, fully alert, was throwing you off and making you groggy and a bit slower to respond.  Hange didn’t seem to mind, though, undaunted by your sleepy state as she dragged a chair out for you to sit in and went digging for the notes from the last time the two of you had sat down to discuss and exercise–to a degree–your abilities behind the safety of the locked door of her office.

“Ah!  Got it!”  Hange exclaimed, pulling out the notebook you’d seen her use last time to scribble down her notes and theories to go over later.  “I’ve got to hide it from Moblit, but that’s a lot harder to do than it sounds–speaking of, would you be okay with telling him about this before he stumbles across the book on his own?”

You blinked, not expecting the question.  As usual, your immediate thought was, the less people that know, the better, and the easier to contain the secret.  She did have a point that Moblit very well could stumble across it during one of his purges through her room to try and keep things semi-organized and see if he could recover lost items that just got buried in everything else.  He’d open it to figure out what it was to put it in the proper place, and be met with a bunch of notes about yourself and vampires in general.

It made sense, but it wasn’t just up to you.  “Ask Erwin.”

Hange sighed, dropping into the chair directly across from you.  “Guess that’s something I can do when I drop off my report on yesterday.”

You grimaced at the reminder–that was something you still needed to do, since you hadn’t done it last night.

Other things had been on your mind last night.

Hange flipped open her notebook, flipping forwards past sketches of your fangs and scribbled notes in diagram forms to a new page.  “If you haven’t done yours yet, either, that’s something we can get done together and I can drop them off when I go see Erwin.”

You hummed, leaning forwards to rest your chin in your palm.  “That’d be appreciated.  Thanks Hange.  I’ll drop the report off to Levi later, though–I’m sure he’d rather the squad’s reports were turned in altogether.”

Hange hummed, scrounging up a pencil from the desk, leaning in much closer now that she had everything she needed.  “So–when was the last time you fed?”

It took far more effort than you wanted to admit to smother down the echo in your ears of the sounds Levi had made in your ear with your teeth latched into his throat, the feel of his body beneath yours and his excitement–

“Last night,” you said, forcing yourself to stay focused fully on the present before you could spiral any further into the memories of last night.

Excitement sparked in her eyes.  “Oh?  You don’t mind testing your healing rate today, then, do you?  I haven’t caught you so soon after a feed before!”

“I suppose not.”

You held out your hand for Hange to take, sitting back passively as you watched her turn your arm around until she’d picked a spot that wasn’t going to hurt too bad or hit anything important.  She just wanted to see how fast you would heal from an injury, not test something major that would sap some of that fresh strength you had just gained–and a little extra you were still basking in.

After finding the desired spot, Hange fished around for a simple knife in the drawer of her desk, leaning in to see the very start of the cut as she made a quick swipe of the edge down your arm, keeping the sting of the cut short instead of drawing it out.  You flinched from the flash of pain, but kept yourself still after that, giving Hange the perfect view of the cut that was closing back up already.

“That’s amazing–and much faster than the last time we did this,” Hange commented in wonder, turning your arm slightly so that the light hit the healing wound at different angles as the skin stitched itself back together, the scar was left behind, and then began to rapidly fade.

“Well, it had been a bit since I last fed when we last did this.  And Levi and I had been sparring, which means I’d already burned through some energy healing from those…”

“This gives me a great starting point to work with for your healing rate relative to blood drank,” Hange said excitedly.  “I don’t really have a gauge for quality, but if you’re regularly taking from Levi anyway, I can at least use what we’ve done in the past and this to figure it out for your current diet,” Hange was rambling, scribbling in her journal, drawing a rough sketch of the wound you’d just had before it healed for a visual representation of what kind of wound had just healed that fast.

“I’m not going to bite you, Hange.”

“I know!  I didn’t even ask.  Besides, biting me right now would probably be a little over indulgent.”

Indulgent tonight?

You cleared your throat, looking away to pick through some of the papers on the desk while she wrote to distract yourself.  “Well, when you finish with your calculations, do you want to go back into trying to figure out how the necklace works?”

Hange hummed, fingers pressed against the tips of the page to start peeling the pages back, likely to seek out her notes from the last time the two of you had poked at trying to figure out the way it worked, or at least get her finger between pages where she’d need to flip to once she finished with her current writing.

“There’s certainly some aspect about how it works that we’re missing, and whatever it is, I think it’s the crucial piece to actually make a new necklace work.  It doesn’t hurt to keep trying new things to try and figure out what it is we’re missing.  There doesn’t seem to be anything inside your necklace, so what we see is what we get, and yet…” Hange mused.

You shrugged.  “Maybe if we keep trying new ideas we’ll stumble into a breakthrough eventually.”

Hange circled two or three abstract thoughts on her observation diagram, drew some connecting lines, and turned to face you.  “Exactly!  What did you have in mind?”

As you could have predicted, the two of you didn’t manage to unlock the secrets of your necklace today.  It was always worth giving a shot, but the pieces for a necklace that the two of you experimented on still failed to yield any kind of protection from the sun, putting you back to a stumped square one, back to the drawing board.  

After the failure with the necklace experiments and no new ideas to try out today, Hange went back to testing your healing rate, which was less fun since it involved various–minor, consensual–injuries inflicted upon you.  Still, she explored a bit further beyond the brief bit she’d gotten from the earlier wound, trying different depths and lengths–again, with your consent–to test the healing rate with different injury types.

After a bit of discussion, you sat down with her to sketch out some of your past injuries that were not the kind that you would want to recreate–such as Levi’s slash across your chest with the ultrasteel blades, or the sage-soaked wooden weapons from the hunters–giving as detailed of a recreation as you could manage with specifics of when the last time you had fed at that point in time had been, how long it took to heal, if more blood had been required to complete the healing at a more rapid process–

All details Hange soaked up eagerly to help feed her theorizing and analysis.

After the experiments, the two of you had sat down with papers pulled in front of the two of you to write out your reports of what had happened yesterday.  The mood in the room had turned more somber, both of you quiet and working on your recollection of each of your experiences with the horrors of the day before.

The silence in the room was only punctuated by the scratch of your pens against the paper or the occasional rustle of the papers being shifted when you finished a page.  Your eyes were unfocused as you wrote, the lines of the letters on the page contorting across the sheets of off-white as if attempting to form moving images of the haunting scenes in your mind’s eye across the page. 

Not sure if it was stress after-the-fact or if you were still tired after your on again off again sleep, you sighed and leaned forward, taking a moment to pinch the bridge of your nose, as if the pressure could hold back the more visceral images in your mind.

Hange suddenly spoke, her voice filled with a soft and caring edge you had not heard from her yet that caught you off guard.

“I know yesterday was hard on you–I doubt reliving it for a report is easy.”

It was a gentle way to broach the subject, allowing you to answer and direct what part of the conversation to pursue if you decided to talk.  She wasn’t asking anything that you had to answer directly, stating observation more than anything, and she wasn’t assuming anything or speculating with theories you could either confirm or deny.  She left it entirely up to you.

As if delving back into the memories for your report didn’t make your heart heavier with the revisiting of the bloody memories from yesterday, you felt the return of the compression of your chest trying to squeeze itself into a much smaller space as you turned over just how hard it had been, so you could give Hange a suitable response.

“It has to be done, though–the command needs all the facts in case there’s something of discovery in someone’s experience, and…and it will help with figuring out the more accurate death toll,” you told her quietly.

“Well, yeah, those are the more official reasons to do it–but I wasn’t talking about why they need to be done.”  Hange sat down her pen, pushing the book aside and leaning in to peer at you more intently.

You let out a small sigh, looking off to the side and away from her intense gaze for a moment.  “I’ve dealt with death regularly for more than half of my life.  It’s…it’s an unfortunate constant companion for me, even now.  I’m no stranger to the gruesome, bloody, and unfair death in this world.  But this was just…different.  Too much.  I was drowning in it last night.”

Hange let your words linger in the air between the two of you, possibly taking the time to mull over what she should say in answer to that.

“All of us are going to be carrying the burden of this for the rest of our lives,” Hange started.  “I’ve seen some bloody days in the Scouts, we’ve suffered horrific losses in the past.  This was…something else, yes.  On a scale none of us could have imagined, even those of us that have seen the horrors of the Titans time and time again by now.  I promise you there’s not a single one of us that won’t be haunted by what happened yesterday, and you’re not the only one who’s struggling with it.”

Hange reached out to place a tentative hand on your shoulder, giving it a small squeeze and offering you a small, sad smile when you looked back at her.

“But it’s not a burden that you have to carry alone.  You have comrades who are carrying it with you, and some that would probably find some comfort in knowing you’re carrying it with them.  The Scouts have always been about furthering humanity’s fight against the Titans, finding a way to fight back, for humanity to survive, to learn about the Titans and progress in the fight instead of losing ground–and giving meaning to all the sacrifices along the way.  That weight has always been part of what the Scouts have to carry…it’s just a much bigger burden to shoulder, now.  For all of us to shoulder.”

You looked away again when she seemed to pause in what she was saying for a moment, giving you the time to soak in what she was saying.

That was one way to tell you that you weren’t alone, and that there were people who would support you–and that could use your help supporting them along the way.  She didn’t say that it would go away or one day you’d get over it or anything like that.  She let you know you weren’t the only one and that there were people who could understand and carry it with you when you felt it was too big for you.

Like Levi.  Like Hange.  Petra, who had already been worried about you before everything even happened.  Anyone in the Scouts you grew close enough to open up to when you were having a rougher go of things.

“Besides–”

Hange straightened, filling in the silence between the two of you before you could speak as she leaned back, poking at your cheek playfully.  You couldn’t help but feel as if she was pointing out a spot Levi had left behind, some mark from his kisses last night.

You knew he had kissed you there last night amongst many other places.  She didn’t, not necessarily, it was just a guess so long as you didn’t react in a way that confirmed it for her.

Or maybe the intimacy of last night had left you hyper aware in a way that felt so visceral to you, it was easy to think that somehow the others would see it, too, even though they couldn’t, and her poke had nothing to do with Levi’s affections last night.

“I’m sure it’s so tempting to just keep your super secret club to you and Levi for all the highs and lows of what’s happening in your life, but the rest of us would at least like to be allowed in from time to time,” Hange teased.  “He’s been hogging you ever since you two made up, and the rest of us are going to band together and demand play dates.”

You shoved her poking finger away with a roll of your eyes, glad for the bit of lightheartedness to take away from the somber mood in the air and help lift your spirits.  “Aw, Hange, I didn’t know you were so jealous,” you answered right back.

“Of course I am.  You turned down my offer for you to date me instead while you two were going through your rocky period, and I missed my shot–I’m all kinds of jealous that short stack gets the gifted, sexy, vampire girlfriend.”

“Why are you jealous, you have Moblit?”

“Maybe, but you have fangs.”

“I’m not biting you, Hange.”

“Today.”

“How about we circle back to you not correcting me on the Moblit thing?”

“Moblit is Moblit.”

“And Levi is Levi, we don’t have a label for what we are, we just are, so you need a better excuse.”

“So you admit to you and Levi being a thing!”

“Hange, you walked in on us kissing, you know there’s been something going on, that’s not a distraction that’s going to work.”

“And don’t I know it, you two were really going at each other.  Is it always like that with all that pent up tension and–”

“Okay, Hange, different topic!”

Hange chuckled, pushing her glasses back up her nose from where they had slipped in her enthusiasm.  “One of these days, I’ll get you to share all the juicy details.”

You buried your face in your hand, purposely angling the side that Hange was on to hide your embarrassment the best that you could.

She wasn’t getting those juicy details any time soon.  You were hoarding them all to yourself, and you had no desire to share the sounds Levi made and the way his body responded to you, the expressions on his face and the looks in his eyes when it was just the two of you.  Those were all yours to collect and cherish and keep locked where only you could pull them out to admire them.

Levi’s heart was not something you felt inclined to share the inner workings of–you wanted each beat in the rhythm of his pulse all for yourself.

*Levi’s POV*

Levi’s fingers still tingled from how hard he had scrubbed at the blood on their clothes this morning, smelling strongly of soaps and oil after his work on not only his gear and clothes, but Y/N’s as well.  He’d put off writing his report a little longer simply because his fingers had still been sore enough he’d needed to give them a slight break, choosing to do most of his trips to go see people and check in on his squad members besides Y/N, Erwin, and Hange just to give his fingers time to recover.

Erwin was the meeting for after the report was done, while Levi had his attention and hopefully enough time to say what needed to be said before Erwin’s attention was claimed elsewhere.

Maybe.  If Erwin was neck deep in those death notices and sorting the reports to figure out how many, exactly, had died and getting confirmations of death to the many that had lost family yesterday, then he might not have the time to sit down and talk about everything else that still needed addressed.

That was a problem to tackle when he was there.  At the moment, Levi was working on the said report–as well as the unofficial shorter report that would go into details of what had happened in regards to Y/N’s vampirism, such as being able to hear the massacre and how far away they’d needed to move in order for her to stop hearing it.

He left out the near-loss of her humanity not to bury and hide it, but because that was a conversation Levi wanted to have in person with Erwin, where his displeasure and disapproval with the whole mess would be loud and clear and not as easily brushed off.

This, what had almost happened last night, at least in regards to Y/N, could not happen again.

There was a knock on his door, softer and familiar, which prompted him to call out without looking up from his report, though he did shift the vampire version under papers where it couldn’t be seen.  

“Yes?”

Petra slipped inside, a stack of the reports from his squad in her hand.  “I have almost everyone’s reports, Captain–except for Y/N’s.  I couldn’t find her, is she–?”

Petra had dark circles under her eyes.  A rough night for everyone, then.  However, he’d be more worried if someone wasn’t showing signs of some kind of stress or exhaustion after yesterday.

“L/N’s with Hange at the moment going over Titan capture plans again.  She knows to get it to me when she’s escaped,” Levi remarked, turning his gaze back to his work after confirming who was entering.  Petra approached to tentatively put the stack of the rest of the squad’s reports on the corner of his desk where they would be out of the way.

“Is…is she okay, Captain?  I know she wasn’t doing well before everything happened, and she wasn’t even responsive after–”

As easy as it was to simply say ‘she’ll be fine’ and end the conversation there, Levi decided against it.  He didn’t have to divulge the more private details, but he’d feel better knowing she had a decent support group to fall back on, not just him.

“She’s got her feet under her, and she’s doing her duties.  Doesn’t mean you can’t check on her when you see her next,” Levi said calmly.

Petra snapped a salute, sensing the dismissal in his response and probably picking up on the veiled suggestion to go check on Y/N for herself.  “Thank you, Sir,” she responded, before promptly taking her leave.

Petra was the only one he was going to send her way, though.  Hange could already be a handful, and Petra would likely drag the others into making sure Y/N had plenty of support from her squad after seeing the effects the day had on her yesterday.  Any more than that and it might start to get annoying hearing people ask her over and over again if she was okay and wanting to talk about something she needed to be trying to move forwards from.

That and it was probably best she keep lying low for a while longer, at least until the food shortage started to ease up from its currently more dire status.  He hadn’t forgotten the looks he’d caught some of the others giving her when they thought no one was watching, and he’d rather any unnecessary fights or conflicts be avoided if they could manage it.

They didn’t need dissention in the ranks, especially not right now.

Just another thing thing to add to the list of all the shit they currently had to shovel and deal with right now, though this one the best they could do at the moment was to try to keep it from getting worse.  There were other things they could focus on while they waited for that issue to take care of itself.

Some of which were also things Levi needed to bring up with Erwin as soon as he got the chance to.

He hoped the other man could afford to carve out enough time in his day to address it all.

It was much later than Levi would have liked before he finally got in to see Erwin when the man wasn’t caught up in meetings with other people.  If he was going to go through with his idea for Y/N today, Levi would be pushing it if he went to town today–maybe he could get to a store with what he was looking for if he went faster than was strictly necessary and didn’t dawdle, but if he ran into trouble while he was out amongst the civilian population, that could be an issue and he could miss his opening.

Not something for him to be thinking about right now.  It was looking like he wouldn’t be able to slip away today.  However, he’d worry about that after his meeting with Erwin, which needed his full attention considering everything that needed to be discussed.

When he entered Erwin’s office, he was unsurprised to find it more of a mess than usual.  Erwin looked like he hadn’t slept at all, or if he had, at best it had been quick naps at his desk between stacks of reports of yesterday on his desk, as well as papers scattered across the surface to assist in the record keeping and data sorting he was in the middle of, trying to identify deceased soldiers and give a death and survivor count for the brass from the collective perspectives and accounts of the Scouts, comparison of reports of individuals that had been in the same group or area to make sure casualties weren’t counted twice…

Erwin had the hardest paperwork job out of all of them, and Levi didn’t envy him it.  His contribution to easing Erwin’s work load had been in making sure his own report was as clear as possible, and including an extra report compilation that already did some of that work that Erwin was doing on a smaller scale–he had a workup of the collective casualties that his squad had witnessed as well as the individuals that they had rescued and the handful that they had been aware hadn’t survived long enough to even leave the top of the wall.  

There was even a small summary that spelled out some incidents of note from the collective experience of the squad, details of the behaviors of some of the abnormals, obstacles they had run into during the rescue attempts and suggestions for what kind of fixes could help such an endeavor run smoother in the future–

The short of it was, Levi did his best to make Erwin’s job a little easier with his contribution to the pile and tried to make it easier for the other man to work through.

And, of course, Y/N’s report was now included in the stack–she’d come by to drop it off before lunch, unable to linger due to an apparent promise in the hall to Petra to join the rest of the squad for their lunch.  So, the visit had been only in passing, nothing much to show for it besides a lingering touch and a soft, slight smile to show she was managing to get through the day so far.

They’d catch up again at the end of the day, he was sure.

After making sure the door was shut behind him and that no one was lurking in a corner once he was fully inside, Levi went right up to the desk and placed his squad’s reports at the top of the stack he had just watched Erwin pull another squad’s bundle of reports from.

“There’s shit that’s not in there we need to discuss,” Levi announced, pointing to the reports he’d just added to the pile.

Erwin didn’t seem phased, tired eyes scanning the papers in front of him.  If he didn’t know better, Levi would be tempted to think Erwin was just too tired to fully process what he’d said with how long the silence stretched before he answered.

“Normally you leave the vampire updates to the unofficial reports,” Erwin observed.  “Is this over what that lap around Trost was about?”

Even visibly tired, Erwin’s prying and analytical tone didn’t lose its edge.

“That’s in the unofficial report.  This is about after everything, and should this kind of shit happen again.”

Erwin’s gaze flickered up to Levi at the slightly sharper edge that had leaked into his voice near the end there, hinting that what Levi had to say was going to be a bit more charged than their normal discussions about Y/N.

“Miche will be here in–” Erwin glanced out the window to gauge the time by the sun's position in the sky.  “A half hour or so.”

“It’s straightforward,” Levi said bluntly, arms crossed over his chest as he stared unwaveringly at Erwin.  “If there’s ever bullshit like that we have to carry out again, don’t involve her in it.  Give her some other job as far from the massacre as we can get her.”

Erwin put down the pen he was writing with, leaning back in his seat to turn a sharp eye on Levi.  That sharp look and the frown on his face was only the start of Erwin’s displeasure with that not-a-request from Levi.

Levi’s tense tone made it clear enough that this wasn’t a request.

“You know why she can’t get special treatment like that, especially in situations like this,” Erwin said, studying Levi closely.  “I can’t leave just one soldier out of a mess that logically we would want present to help keep some semblance of control of what we can.  It would be noticed, and easily chalked up to favoritism.”

“That’s why I said give her some other job to do.  Even if you have to make something up, make her part of a relay for communication with the brass sitting comfortably in Sina because she’s known for how fast she can move.  I don’t care.  Just keep her out of it.  She can’t take being a part of a blatant civilian sacrifice like that again.”

Ideally, there wouldn’t be another massacre like this again where they were commanded to stand by and do nothing and make sure a massive swath of civilians died.  But he thought more realistically than that.  The situation they were in was a constant looming fatal threat with Titans capable of breaking through the walls, no current way to plug those walls, and no plan to reclaim territory in an efficient way that made the effort worth the endeavor instead of just an endless loop of a losing battle.  If the next wall was broken through, if Rose fell as well as Maria and civilians were let into Sina, another sacrifice would follow soon after–if they weren’t all killed in a civil war for what meager resources remained, first.

There was still a possibility of the Scouts being told to ensure the death of a large part of humanity again if Rose fell–and likely far more than the over twenty percent of humanity that they had carried out yesterday.

She didn’t need to suffer through an even worse nightmare of yesterday–with her heightened emotions, she might not be able to without shutting off her humanity.  Then she’d be lost to them.  To him.  And there was something worse about the thought of losing her while still technically having her.

“Levi,” Erwin started, tone admonishing in a way that made Levi bristle to hear.  “Everyone is dealing with yesterday’s events, some better than others, and some not at all.  I’ve already got resignation requests I have to go through after this.  If Rose falls, and this situation happens again, so long as she’s a Scout she will still be there.  I won’t give her special treatment because you want to spare her the pain the rest of us are dealing with.  You’ve already promised me the relationship happening between the two of you wouldn’t cloud your judgement–”

“This isn’t about my personal feelings,” Levi grit out, voice cutting Erwin’s lecture off like his blades through Titan flesh.  “This isn’t about wanting to spare her pain.  She’s a Scout–it’d be pointless and idiotic to want that.”

Even if he didn’t like seeing her in pain, that was just part of what they dealt with regularly as Scouts, she was going to be in pain far more times in the future, and there wasn’t anything he could do to prevent that–only things he could do to try and ease the pain afterwards and help her get through it.

Levi leaned forwards, one hand braced on the front of Erwin’s desk, the other pointing at the reports as if to emphasize that what he was saying was partially addressed in the reports he just turned over.

“I’m talking about the fact that we almost lost her last night.  If I hadn’t been there to catch what was happening, we probably wouldn’t have her at all anymore.  Even if we did, there would be an active threat lurking in our ranks waiting for something to set it off.”

The moment Levi called what Y/N would become if she shut out her humanity it and not her, Erwin set aside the reports he’d been ready to get into before Levi had claimed his undivided attention.

Once the reports were back in the pile he’d taken them from–Levi noticed Erwin also shifted Levi’s squad’s reports to the top in the process–Erwin leaned forwards, raising his hands that were now loosely interlaced together to his lips in contemplation.

“What happened last night?” he asked, voice measured, gaze fixed on Levi, choosing to withhold his reaction until he had Levi’s full statement.

Levi stood upright again, gaze scanning for every micro expression Erwin may give as he got into the messier details of what almost happened last night.

“She almost shut out her humanity by accident trying to cope with everything she had to witness yesterday.”

Confusion made Erwin’s eyes narrow slightly, eyebrows twitching closer together with the start of a furrowed brow, which reminded Levi that he hadn’t brought that vampire ability to Erwin’s attention before today.

“She once told me that vampires can shut out their humanity–take the things that make them more human–the emotions, conscious, morality–and push it all out so they don’t feel anything.  After having to hear everything yesterday,” Levi lifted his chin in the direction of the reports to indicate the details for that aspect of yesterday’s series of horrific events was in there, “she was trying to cope, and started accidentally shutting out her humanity.  I caught it before she could shut it out fully and managed to bring her back to herself, but it was close.”

The sight of her vanishing right in front of him, the light and warmth bleeding out of her eyes and leaving a cold and empty chasm behind where her soul had been mere moments before, still made his heart rate pick up and his breaths come sharper, cutting against the constriction of his throat as the echo of the fear he felt in that moment crawled beneath his skin again.

Displeasure was one way to describe the look that was now etched into Erwin’s face.  He certainly wasn’t happy about what he was hearing.

“Why wasn't this ability brought to my attention sooner?” Erwin asked, his tone terse, admonishing, and even with a sharp edge to it.

That was on Levi--he was the one who gave Erwin the updates on her vampirism.

“We didn’t know it was something that could happen accidentally, and she didn’t know how to do it,” Levi explained.  He only hesitated to speak for a beat, wary of the fact Erwin had called it an ability and not, say, a risk.  “She said it took something worse than what pushed a vampire to shut out their humanity to let it back in, and they’d get hit with all the shit at once.  It’s not worth it in her eyes, and the thought of who she’d be without her humanity or what it’d take to get her to let it back in scared her.  She’s not going to do it purposely.  If she’d shut out her humanity for this, what it took to snap her out of it would be a nightmare–if we even could.”

As he spoke and Erwin had time to turn over this new information in his mind, Levi could swear he saw that cool, calculating glimmer enter Erwin’s gaze.  It was that look in his eyes that told Levi he was gambling and contemplating dangerous moves that others may deem insane.

If Erwin was weighing the possibility of weaponizing that no-humanity version of Y/N, Levi was going to shut that shit down now before the idea could get too rooted into that big brain of his.

“Don’t even think about it–it’d be the worst idea you’d ever had.”  Levi’s tone was cutting, the words leaving no room for debate.

Erwin raised a brow at Levi's abrupt scolding.  “I didn’t say anything.”

Levi wasn’t going to buy that faux innocence, not for a second.

“Her whole reason for being here and any respect she has for command, us, and basic respect for human life is rooted in her humanity.  You think she’s going to give a shit about the Scouts and their mission, or even care about sticking around if she’s lacking her humanity?  Because what was staring back at me when she almost shut it out sure as hell won’t.”

Her guilt over all the people she’d killed to survive and her value of human life and desire to protect it had driven her here.  Her morality not to harm people if she could help it and to muffle the worst of her vampirism came from her horror at seeing how monstrous and destructive vampires could be.  

There was a respect for the people around her and the chain of command that caused her to ask and consider those involved or affected when making weightier decisions (and she had the time to do so).  All of that went out the window without her humanity, and he doubted she’d stay for the Scouts or give a damn about what they thought or said.

And he knew she wouldn’t give a damn about him without her humanity.  Well, not him as a person.  She’d sure as shit still want his blood, though she wouldn’t care for him or his safety and comfort, and things would get messy fast.

“That’s not the first time you haven’t referred to her as a person–in this scenario,” Erwin amended when he saw the sharp look on Levi’s face at the suggestion that Levi was calling her an it/that/thing.

No, his mind had already drawn up a clear and sharp distinction between Y/N and the thing she almost became last night.  Those weren’t just different people, they were different entities.

“I got a glimpse of what she’d be without her humanity, and it sure as shit wasn’t her,” Levi stressed.  “That was more like what I’d thought she was before she came clean.”

Erwin sighed, letting his hands drop back to the desk.  The other man almost looked…disappointed.

Levi seriously hoped the disappointment was because he’d accepted the risk wasn’t worth trying to weaponize a no-humanity Y/N.

“Well…I suppose hearing you speak so clearly about a threat she could pose and not pulling your punches on how you phrase it is some reassurance that you’re not letting your relationship with her cloud your judgement–though not mentioning this was something vampires could do earlier is still a concern.”

Levi blinked, taken aback not only by the nonchalance in Erwin’s tone as he said it, but by the fact that was the track that Erwin chose to take in this exact moment–another comment about the relationship between Levi and Y/N.

“Are you fucking serious?”

He wasn’t sure if Erwin was actually being an asshole or choosing right now of all times to test him again over their relationship.  He knew Erwin still wasn’t convinced that a relationship between the two of them wasn’t going to get in the way of their duties as Scouts, but now wasn’t exactly the time to be pressing that.

He hoped it wasn’t supposed to be a distraction to keep him from potentially seeing that Erwin hadn’t let go of whatever thought had been brewing in his mind about Y/N’s ability to shut out her humanity, because if it was, he’d hate that it was working.

Erwin ignored his exclamation and plowed right on ahead with the topic.

“And if you were with her through the night, that also answers why you weren’t in your quarters this morning when I came looking for you.  However, if you two are officially spending nights with one another, and not just to monitor recoveries, then it’s about time we had an official talk about this, yes?” Erwin asked, gaze fixated unabashedly on Levi as if he hadn’t just implied that Levi and Y/N were having sex.

He had to bite back a scathing remark about it being none of Erwin’s fucking business what happened in their bedrooms, because unfortunately, to a small degree, it was.  Not in the details, fuck no, but knowing where their relationship was, if it was at the point they needed to start filling out some pain in the ass paperwork about their relationship to clarify there wasn’t some kind of toxic abuse of power/power imbalance/career gain aspect in their relationship occurring, and that it wasn’t negatively impacting their ability to do their duties if anybody came asking.

The line had been blurry until recently, with neither of them knowing what to label their relationship besides the fact they were getting closer and more affectionate.  Now it was blatantly intimate, borderline sexual, more defined as clearly romantic, intensifying and deepening with no sign of letting up any time soon.

Which meant it was about time to be making that official statement of a relationship so that all necessary ass covering could be done and Erwin could prove proper channels had been taken and Scout Leadership–or rather, Erwin, as he was the only one above Levi in Scout Command structure–had been aware of and made sure there wasn’t anything untoward happening, especially since, currently, she was still technically his subordinate in public and on paper.

This wasn’t something he’d thought he’d need to worry about since joining the Scouts, and nobody in his care had started a relationship that he had to handle, so admittedly, he didn’t know the first thing about what, exactly, would be expected from him and Y/N, just that there was a protocol for these kinds of things, it involved paperwork, and the kinds of things they looked for.

Part of him may have been hoping that by the time their relationship developed into something more concretely romantic, she’d be his equal publicly and on paper as well so they wouldn’t have to worry about this shit, but here they were.

“What’s there to say?” Levi asked rhetorically, folding his arms across his chest and moving so that he was leaned against one of the sturdier seats in Erwin’s office, a frown on his face and gaze fixed on the bookshelf across from him instead of at Erwin.

The damn thing was just as much of a mess as the rest of the room, though doing something about it right now would be pointless, since this room was going to be in a constant state of utter disaster until Erwin was finished with handling the aftermath of yesterday’s operation.

Then he could straighten it up, and it would only go to the usual disaster afterwards.

Levi heard rustling paper, a drawer opening, the sound of a file dropping to the desk.  He was tempted to look, but didn’t, stubbornly keeping his gaze averted since he knew there were a bunch of questions about his relationship with Y/N incoming.

“This should go faster than it normally would–I’ve already had parts of the file for this prepared since you two started getting closer.  I’ll just need you and her to confirm and fill in certain details,”  Erwin said calmly, the sound of papers being spread across his desk confirming that he’d had fairly detailed paperwork already prepared and waiting for this conversation.

What the fuck.

“Now…have you entered into a romantic relationship with your subordinate, Y/N L/N?”

He fucking hated hearing Erwin call her his subordinate when they both knew she was his fucking equal–hearing Erwin phrase it that way made their relationship sound filthy.

“Yes,” Levi grit out, leaving out the complaint about the phrasing since, again, at the moment, they were superior and subordinate on paper and in public.

“How long ago?”

When did it become a romantic relationship?  How was he supposed to know that?  What were the qualifiers?  Was it when they had their first kiss?  The first time he’d gotten erect from more than just how good it felt for her to bite him?  The first time they’d been kissing and it got particularly heated?  The first time he’d felt sex might be on the table?  What was the point in his mind there was no denying the fact he was getting in deep with her and what was forming between the two of them wasn’t going to be anything other than romantic?

Most of those milestones happened in the same stretch of time, so his best guess would be…

“A couple months ago.”

He could feel Erwin’s gaze on him, already knew what he was thinking was about how it probably wouldn’t look good that they’d waited a couple months to inform command of their relationship–

“Luckily I already have it in here that I was aware that a relationship was developing between the two of you and you weren’t trying to hide it from me,” Erwin murmured.  “I already have it established that her advancements have been based on individual ability and merit and not on the relationship between the two of you, but I still have to confirm if you two are in a sexual relationship–”

“Fucking hell, Erwin, you don’t really need that shit, do you?”

“It establishes that you didn’t give or suggest her for any of her advancements for sexual favors because there was no sexual relationship at the time, or if there was, we’ll need to clarify that there was no discussion suggesting such an exchange or that it didn’t influence your thinking one way or another,” Erwin returned calmly.  “So, again, is your relationship sexual–”

“No! Fuck, Erwin.”

Not yet, a little voice whispered in the back of his mind, which he promptly attempted to smother the life out of as quickly as possible.  Tried not to think of her legs wrapped around his waist last night, arching against his body, pressed up against the bulge in his pants–

Fuck.

Not yet.

To make matters worse, Levi happened to glance over at Erwin in his exasperation and managed to catch a look on Erwin’s face that told him that Erwin didn’t entirely believe him.  It was true, and thankfully meant no more probing in that area and that her advancements wouldn’t be called into question, so it made this easier, and yet, Erwin didn’t seem convinced.

“We’re not fucking, so you can get that constipated look off your shitty face,” Levi snapped.

Erwin sighed, taking the time to write in the details Levi had just given him into his already partially completed report, the silence in the room giving Levi a few seconds to simmer back down.

“Are there plans to continue your relationship?”

“Yes.”

“Are you conscious of and taking steps to mitigate the risk of your relationship coming into conflict with the duties given to you?”

“You ask me about it all the fucking time.”

“Levi.”

“Yes.  We already fucking talked about it, and you ask me about it regularly, and I already asked you about seeing if we could make us equals an official thing and not just behind closed doors, you know this shit.”

“I still need to confirm it with you.  And if you two haven’t gotten physical, there’s not a risk of sexual favors yet, and there’s plans to move her out of the position of your subordinate, that solves the issue going forwards.”

That pulled Levi out of his sulking and made him look over at Erwin, who was organizing the papers for this file he’d been keeping and going back over what he’d already written to make corrections where he needed to.  Bastard had probably assumed the relationship was already sexual.

“You settled on something, then?”

Erwin hummed.  “An idea or two.  At the moment I don’t have any of it in front of me, but when this,” he gestured around him at the paperwork for yesterday’s operation that he was drowning in, “is finished, I’ll have you both in here to discuss the specifics.  In the meantime, ask her about her thoughts on holding a leadership position–in general.  No matter what’s decided, she’s going to be in a position of authority with this new position; and the sooner you do it and get back to me, the better.”

“What, you’ve got a deadline to make or something?”

“There’s an event coming up–far enough away to give time for the dust to settle from this operation, but still soon.  We need to start gathering support for the expeditions again, and I want to bring both of you with me.  Ideally, that will be when her new title–whatever we settle on–will be made public.”

It hadn’t even been twenty-four hours since yesterday’s nightmare, he was still surrounded by the reports of overwhelming death, and Erwin was already thinking about the next operation, the next expedition, gathering money and support and how to sway the pigs in the upper class into forking over the funds and support they needed to get outside Rose.

Levi’s nose wrinkled slightly at the prospect of having to go to another one of those damn events, as if he could already smell the bullshit he was going to have to swallow and tolerate for a whole evening.

“How fancy?”

“Mitras.”

Shit.

He hated these things–those over-polished shitstains were so far detached from the reality of the world they were all living in, it made him sick.  And Mitras was the worst.  One of the outlying districts of Sina might have been more tolerable, like Stohess, but instead they were going straight to Mitras for the very first one.

Plus, clearly if Erwin was bringing Levi and Y/N, they were meant to be shown off, the best of the best, the reason why the Scouts were going to succeed and the ones responsible for their growing success–ideally, once they got out there again.  Y/N had already been improving the odds for the Scouts, but they hadn’t had the time to confirm it and get the numbers and the stats to back it up before the walls fell.  And, it would be just their luck for the issues to start cropping up after making a claim that their survivability and success rates were about to get drastically better.

Still, Erwin seemed to have decided that adding her to the flaunting to the swine of Mitras to get what they needed for their cause was a risk worth taking.  Either the potential benefits outweighed the risk in his mind, or Erwin had that much faith in her abilities, despite how long it had been since they’d been able to put them to work out beyond the walls.

“You’re really going to debut whatever this special position is that you have in mind for her at this shitty thing?”

“In part.  I’m going to inform our internal command, first, and explain the specifics before we make any larger public announcements.”

Levi’s eyes narrowed slightly.  “How much is this idea of yours going to shake up our command?”

Erwin hummed thoughtfully, though there was a small frown on his lips.  “We’ll know when the others hear.  I had to come up with something new, between needing to get her out from being your subordinate, needing to give her a position that allowed her to exercise her judgement with her vampire abilities but still respected the command structure–Promoting her to existing positions only created new problems about who would be put under her command that would involve drastic or pointless regrouping.  You already called her your right hand in public–yes, that made it back to me–but that would still put you two in the same position that has us filling out this paperwork to make sure you two don’t get in trouble for your relationship.  She’s more your counterpart than anything–”

“Get to the point, Erwin, I know you already have something specific in mind,” Levi cut in with annoyance.

He didn’t need the thought process behind it, Levi had been the one to suggest she get a position that put her in a proper position as his equal a while ago, he knew the reasoning already.

Erwin interlocked his fingers in front of him once more, elbows propped up on the desk on either side of the documents beneath him.  “I have a work in progress for an independent position that would allow her to act at her own discretion based on the knowledge of her vampire abilities the others don’t have, be attached to whichever squad she’s needed in such as with yours while acting as our point or with Hange’s during research focused expeditions, but still includes accountability and answering to higher command, with safeguards so that she can’t always undermine the other officers.  I’m still drafting the rules and protocol for such a position, but, it’s nearly finished.”

“How long before we’re dragged to this shitty thing?  We still have to deal with the Emery situation now that this bigger mess is behind us.”

If Erwin already almost had her new position figured out, it could be closer than they wanted it to be–there were still things that needed to be done sooner rather than later that were going to take some time, Emery being at the top of the list.

Erwin frowned at the reminder of the young vampire that had fallen into the background with everything happening on the Scout side of things.  “You have a few months–time for her to get the proper attire if she needs to, time for us to smooth out the details for her new position, time to finish dealing with the aftermath of yesterday.  Depending on what you two have in mind for how to handle the situation with the young vampire, you should be able to find the time to do so.  Do the two of you have an idea of how to handle it?  Once the Garrison is finished with their part in dealing with the aftermath and the public settles down again, they’re going to be on the hunt for him again with their full focus.  Though, I wouldn’t be surprised if there’s a faction hunting him now with less savory motives hoping to take advantage of the current chaos to get away with something more akin to retribution.”

Levi wouldn’t be surprised if that was the case, either–all the more reason to be quick about handling the Emery situation.  The sooner the better.

“We do.  It’s going to take some digging to do it right, but we’ve talked about faking his death.  We’re going to need to scope out the area and figure out what kinds of people are in the squads hunting for him.”

The last thing either of them wanted was to accidentally throw Emery to a squad that would take their time and draw out his ‘death’, so they were going to make sure they put him in the path of a squad that would be quick to put him down if they were pushed the right way.

Erwin hummed, closing the file with the official ass covering details of Levi and Y/N’s relationship and leaning over to stuff the file back into one of his drawers–Levi tried not to think of how crammed full and desperately needing a purge that drawer was with the sound Levi could hear of folder edges rapidly smacking against the top of the drawer as Erwin opened and closed it.

“Keep me updated, and let me know when you have a more detailed plan before you go carrying anything out.  I’ll see if I can get any more details on the Military Police that were getting involved in the hunt.”

“They weren’t eager for you to be sniffing around their bullshit the last few times you tried.”

“Well, perhaps I can come away with a success this time,” Erwin remarked, reaching to continue with his pile of reports.

They were likely running out of time–Miche would be here at any moment, and Levi would be unable to talk about most of what they had been discussing any further.  That, and the fact that Erwin was reaching for the reports again meant that Erwin had every intention of wrapping this conversation up.

If there was one thing he wanted to stress the most before he had to leave–

“Erwin…I’m serious about not involving her if we’re in this kind of shitshow again.  We can’t risk her losing her humanity.”

Erwin didn’t immediately reply, didn’t even look at Levi, spreading the reports Levi had brought him one by one across his desk.  Before Levi could speak again to press the matter and demand an answer, there was a knock on the door that had Levi swearing under his breath.

He was out of time.

“Yes, Miche?” Erwin called, which prompted the Section Commander to step inside and stroll across the room, promptly keeping Levi from pressing the subject any more.  Levi started to turn, already knowing this meant he was dismissed, not even sparing Miche a glance as he stalked towards the door.

Erwin called out to him before he could leave the office.

“Levi.  I’ll let you know when there’s a complete list of the families of the scouts we lost that we need to notify.”

That wasn’t an answer, it wasn’t even in the realm of anything they’d been talking about–even if it was something Levi needed to know about since he’d be involved in the notifications as an officer.

And it sure as hell didn’t escape Levi’s notice that Erwin had been evasive about giving him any kind of opinion or statement about the matter throughout their whole conversation.

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