The basics of this post is that no matter how a non binary person presents they are valid. I don’t care if they are extremely feminine or masculine or contradictory or androgynous or anything else. If they say they’re non binary, they are non binary. If you don’t agree, feel free to block me now.
A lot of people get concerned about expressing themselves in a way that makes sense to other people and will make other people acknowledge their validity. To be honest, I do too. In my case, it’s a mix of not completely supportive parents and internalized transphobia. Maybe that’s the same for you, maybe it’s different. But you don’t have to make sense to other people. As long as you are comfortable with wearing what you have on (or are choosing to step outside your comfort zone), that’s all you have to do to present “correctly” as a non binary person.
Some non binary people dress really femininely. There’s tons of reasons for this: they’re in the closet, they’re feminine aligned or trans feminine, they’re genderfluid and are presenting femininely now or always, they simply like how it looks, and so many more. Trans masculine or masculine aligned people can also dress femininely! You don’t need some deep reason to present femininely. No matter your assigned gender at birth, if you want to dress femininely you can, and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise!
Some non binary people present very masculinely. Again, there’s many different reasons: they’re trans masculine or masculine aligned, they’re in the closet, they’re genderfluid and present masculinely now or always, they like how it looks, and more. Trans feminine and feminine aligned people can also dress masculinely! No matter what anyone says, being non binary and presenting masculinely is great! Of you want to, go for it, and don’t let anyone stop you!
Androgyny! This is the style that is commonly associated with non binary people. And while non binary people who present this way are completely valid (I present androgynously a lot!), there’s a lot of pressure on all non binary people to present this way, and if you don’t want to present androgynously, you don’t have to. A lot of non binary people present androgynously for a lot of reasons- they’re closeted and this is close to the style they’re going for (or it is your style, that’s great too!!), they’re not masculine or feminine aligned, they’re genderfluid and present androgynously now or always, they like how it looks, and so much more! When discussing androgyny and presentation, the issue of inclusivity comes up. Androgyny is often shown as vaguely masculine clothing on an afab person who is skinny, abled, and white. That’s not all androgyny is. It is the mixing of gendered presentations- a beard and a dress, a suit with gorgeous makeup, boots, a button up, and a skirt (that’s one I like, I feel powerful), and so many more. It’s combining things that society has gendered and making it your own. And yes, that can look like a suit on a skinny, abled, white afab person, but it can also be a dress and a suit jacket on a disabled poc, it can be a lovely blouse and straight-cut jeans and a kippah (in conservative and orthodox judaism, it is only worn by men) on an amab person, it can look like so much more than the typical picture. No matter who you are, your gender assigned at birth, your race, whether you’re disabled or not, or your religion (and subsequent religious clothing items), you can dress androgynously.
You can also dress completely differently! Maybe you just don’t want your clothes to be gendered at all, or maybe something else that my brain can’t think of right now because it’s late! I’m not the clothing dictator, I’m just telling you options. No matter how you present and what your gender is, you are valid.
