#amparenting

First off, it's the commitment. When Avery was born, I promised myself (and her, in a way), that I would do this thing. And anyone who knows me understands the full depths of my stubbornness. I don't quit. But that alone certainly isn't enough to keep me going because even stronger than my stubbornness is my pragmatism. If something doesn't make sense to do, then I won't do it. Period.

And then there's the obvious draw of fame and fortune. If you ask me, I'll thoroughly deny any such motivations, but of course they're there in the back of my mind. Otherwise I wouldn't get frustrated when people come up to me and say, "I love your blog!" but then look puzzled when I ask if they have shared or liked any of my posts on Facebook, Twitter, or Tumblr. I mean, it's natural to want my creations to spread to a large audience, right? Nobody paints a picture and then puts it in a closet (well, that's where anything I painted would go, but I have trouble with my daughter's coloring books…). So, you know, if you enjoy my blog posts, please, do me a tiny egocentric favor and LIKE/SHARE/REPOST!!! But again, logical thinking stifles any pipedreams, so "going viral" is only a tiny piece of the puzzle (like a blue piece of sky with no flat edges).

Which brings me to the actual reason why I blog: Legacy. I don't own a journal. I have a horrible memory. And I'm actually a very poor storyteller in person. But I hold the value of personal history in high regard. I find people's lives fascinating. I could listen to old war veterans talk for hours. I've heard stories about my grandparents hundreds of times, and I could hear them a hundred more. And every time my daughter does something new, I want to remember it forever.

And that's the reason. Every time I sit down to the computer, I bring all of that week's baggage with me—emotional, spiritual, and physical. I'm chronicling not only the events going on in my family's life, but also the significance of those events. Pictures alone can't do that. Nor can home videos or fond memories. I do my best to take a true snapshot of my life on every level. And even though I ultimately fail to capture a large amount of what I experience, I still immortalize a good portion of it, leaving it not only for myself, but also for my children and their children.

And when I say immortalize, I mean it. As I said, I don't own a journal, so there are times when I have to step back and realize that I'm writing to more eyes than my own. I could get into the problems of the modern technological age and the inability of Americans to censor themselves on social media and public forums, but there's not enough time in the week to even start opening that can of worms. Instead, I'll focus on myself (which is ultimately my point). For example, something happened this week that I would LOVE to blog about. But I can't. And I can't tell you why I can't. I just can't. Maybe someday I will be able to, but maybe not. And that's just the way it is. And there's a lot of those somethings in my life. So one of the greatest challenges of documenting the adventures of my little supergirl(s) is to remain honest and complete with our lives without sharing those things with the world that just aren't the world's business. 

So once again, I'm writing for myself. I found myself sitting on my porch, wondering what to write about this week, and then wondering why I should bother at all. And so, now you know why only because I needed to know why. And maybe, just maybe, my commitment will help you consider some of the commitments in your own life. Why do you put forth the effort week after week? Is it really worth it? Is it just a habit, or is there some hidden value in it? How would your life be different if you stopped? How would it look different twenty years from now? Life is too short to waste on fruitless endeavors, so make sure you take the time for self-reflection and valuation of those things that fill your priceless hours.

Oh, and liking/sharing/re-blogging my posts is always a good use of your time. Otherwise, you'll never get the chance to say, "I knew Andrew Winch before knowing him was cool."