#aliseras

Dear Diary, 

Today I woke up beside Shiranai; yet again. Earlier before nightfall, an hour or two before we had a conversation by the fountain. He kept apologizing, telling me that he felt awful; he felt so bad. He kept saying sorry... 

We kissed. A kiss that revived us both, it struck us both in the heart, but a kiss that also ventured to the back of my mind, hitting me with reality. Lips that were not only mine; but also Aliseras'. 

Our hands latched together, and we pressed up against one another; and although all of that happened, I managed to come out with the words, "I am going to be honest with you... I can not do this." 

He ended up letting out this wicked laugh; falling into the shadows and leaving. My heart broke, and I swore that I would not let him in, or near me. However, I also had an encounter with Alexandral Blackfyre and his Lady friend. 

A name I do not quite remember, and I doubt I would like to be wrong; which leaves the guessing game out of this. We were talking, and I was trying to joke around. When, suddenly; Shiranai swooped me off of my feet and sprinted away. 

Away into the Square, where him and I stood within the small sitting area. He apologized more and more, but he also said that what I said was uncalled for. I tried hard to keep my guards up, to not let him hit me. 

But he did. 

Each word was sincere, and I knew it. He did cheat, and he did... have sex with Aliseras twice, which I find funny because him and I only had sex once- but I also find it... irritable. 

What gave him the right to do that?

What gave me the right to let him back in? 

I told him that if he really means it then he better be the person I last see when I fall asleep, and the first I awake to... He was there, in bed with me. From night to day, and I could not help but feel the love again, he told me yesterday that he loves me. 

Maybe I am a fool for letting him back in, perhaps I am a fool for letting a cheater in, but who am I to judge? I have made a married man love me before, a married man kiss me and hold me before; I am no different. 

...There was this Tauren that stood there and made jokes about us, I tried to ignore him as much as I could, but what I learned of the giant cow was that he was not holy at all. 

Yours Truly,

"You finally look alive now, Khey. What happened to -you?-" Alis moved to lay next to Khey. 

Khey splayed herself on the bed with her arms behind her head, an overly large shirt over her body; a smile planted on her face. She looked away from the ceiling, turning to face Alis as she snugged a pillow beneath her head. "I feel alive.. What happened to me? I found.. happiness in someone else besides me." 

Alis grinned, turning to face her; snuggling into a pillow herself. "With whom?" 

"Now, you know the answer to that question." 

"I do. He's a good guy, you know. I think you finally found a good guy instead of some crappy piece of old elk shit." 

"Alis! What happened awhile ago, happened. I was stupid." 

"Yes, you were." 

"I swore to never go after rogues, but somehow I always find them to be the only ones that attract me. Do you know how mad that makes me?" 

"What makes you mad doesn't make me mad, so, no, I don't know. Besides, you always have a reason to hate someone." 

"-Coming- from you." 

"Yes, but, at least I can't force them to writhe beneath me and kill them mentally.. I hope that this one lasts. I really, really am happy that you found someone to make you feel this way. I haven't ever seen you so.. relaxed. Stress free- where is he anyway?"

"Mm. Thank you." She smiles at Alis, moving closer like they were sisters. In all honesty? They were, even if they fought like dogs. "Hunting, probably. I heard that you two went hunting. Do you know how to skin?" 

Alis blinked, grabbing a pillow, hitting her with it. "Look, I did but he was being an annoying... Pumpkin." She held her tongue, sighing. "Don't tell him, but, he is better than me at hunting." 

"I'm telling."

"NO!"

"--Fine, fine. Oh! Mithos is FINALLY going to stay with us."

"I have no job interview." She turned, shoving her face into the pillows. "Shoving the blankets off of me doesn't do anything.. The cold never bothered me anyway."

I sighed, sitting down beside her. "You said that you would go and look for a job. Do you not think that doing it right now is a good idea?" 

She groaned, sitting up with her hands slamming into the mattress. "Khey, please. You got discharged from your job twice, why should I listen to you?" 

"I was discharged for two stupid reasons." 

"Like what?"

"Calling the Imperator selfish and saying no." I stared at her. "Riesse could use help at the Registry, why not try there? You can try to help her with security, or even run errands for her when the Registry is all too busy. Tell her that you know me, but you need to know that.. Although she is a sweet woman, and if you work under her; you -NEED- to be respectful and put in your all. I have seen her get hurt over and over again by people leaving and assassinating the Registry. If you turn into one of those people I will kick you out for good." 

"The Registry? Khey'endria. I might like to fight but I don't work well with others." 

"Does it look like I care? No. Now go and get ready, try to find Riesse and ask if she is employing anyone." 

"Why don't you try to work with her, too? If she's your friend and you want to be there for her, you should work for her, too. See who gets the job first." 

"How can you like someone who looks like he was massacred then brought back to life with rotten scars? Look at you, then look at him; then look back at yourself. You can do so much better, but you are the exact reason why you will never move further in your life." Aliseras started her whole speech on me as I sat on my bed, flipping through the last Silvermoon Monthly. My legs crossed behind me, both lifting to the air. 

"Why are you in my room, and not screwing one of your many, many men within your own bedroom? I thought that if I let you inside of my house, to live with me, you would leave me... Be." I snarled, looking up to her.

"I am only looking out after my little baby girl, don't'ya know? I am also here to make sure that you don't sit on that bed thinking of that man and find yourself with another. What about that Lord.. Warrior man? You can't possibly think that I believe for a single second that you don't miss his lips." She took the magezine away from me, tossing it to the side, sitting next to me. Arms folding above her chest. "You said that he was someone... Sexy. I expect you to get with someone around YOUR age, and someone worth it." 

I sat up, sitting with her. "You are absolutely annoying. Leave, please." But she shook her head, leaning against me. Head upon my shoulder, making me look down at her. I missed this, having a friend around, her around even. Mithos was sleeping in his room right now, and I was hoping that sometime soon we would find ourselves hanging out more often. I chose to think about what she said. "I hope you know that I can not choose whom I like, and do not like, do you understand that?" 

"Erase all memories with that man, and move on. Stop working with him, and MOVE. ON. HE, is holding you back because you are letting him. This is not the woman I used to know! MOVE. ON. He has a wife, and a family. You have a sexy body, a single life; an intelligent mind, and the ability to heal if your man ever gets hurt. Move on to someone worth it." 

"I am not letting anybody touch my mind, and if you have somebody try; it is not going to work. You and I both know that it is hard enough to already pass through a Priestess's mind, and even if I wanted to stop being around him, I could stop myself! Life is not about love, I can be happy all on my own. Move on? I never stopped for him." 

"Yes you did, you stopped for him the second you began to feel guilty whenever you would have your eyes all over someone else, yet he would pop RIGHT in and you would then stop. You are not his puppet, you are not his whore; and you are not his lover. If he really cared for you, he would not lead you on. Either way, if he has feelings for you, and if you two had a chance; imagine this exact thing happening with you, happens with him and another bitch, then what? You would feel stupid, abused, and used." 

"Ali-" 

"No! You need to find someone, and I am SO close to getting you into an arranged marriage. What about Aleros?! He is cute. Or, even, Mithos?! He is small but he makes for a good cuddler. - I can have you marry one of my whores."

"Absolutely not!" I stood, walking to the door, opening it. "Leave. If you want to see me with a man, being courted? So be it, I will prove you wrong. Now, leave."