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guys i wish Time Lords looked less human. i wanna have their eyes tinted gold with oval pupils and their ears be slightly pointed and their blood be more visibly orange. like make them a bit uncanny yknow. fuck with the mind. âoh youâre human!- oh waitâ
Don't you think at least some species of alien would it find it odd how prone we humans are to pack bonding? And how would they react to meeting a human whose need for connection has NOT been met?
Right now, we are thinking lonely little teenage boy has decided, fuck it, these aliens wanna scan my brain and I've got nothing to lose. They have observed his peculiar behavior and lack of pack bonding. And his quite snarky attitude. So, anyway, you got a brain scanning thingy pictured, alright? Yes? And these aliens, well, they're not even remotely prepared for what they find.
Originally they thought the whole bonding with anything and everything was just a weird thing we do for fun. But no. We NEED it. They test other humans who also have little to no one, and most results just all come out with the same deep longing for connection. The same incompleteness. The same something that doesn't have a name and can't be communicated into words, only being described as a deeply rooted need to be understood.
Imagine them finding that. I like to think that they would have a new found sense of sympathy for the bleeding, lonely hearts of humans. It's not an earth shattering topic, I know. Maybe it would give them a new perspective on just how much Human Bob absolutely NEEDS to see his friend Human Roger when he whines about being on opposite sides of the ship. Ooh, maybe they would implicate a Human Buddy System, just so nobody is alone. Ah, the poor introverts.
So. I just think if aliens were to discover how intense being lonely can be for humans and probably some other species, they'd... I dunno. Feel all bad for us and give friends. Or something.
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{SERIES SUMMARY } - After the loss of your beloved cat, Apollo, you adopt a strange six-eyed "cat" from a shady animal shelter to fill the silence....unaware that it's actually Uratos Gooj, an seven-foot alien prince hiding from an arranged royal marriage. As he observes your human life from the safety of your home, his curiosity slowly turns into all-consuming obsession... and he begins to believe you belong to him
{PAIRING)- ALIEN:Gojo x Human Female Reader
{TAGS !!)- MDNI, 18+ in the last 2 chapters(l think), alien biology, obsessive behavior, size difference (he's literally 7ft when not a cat), female reader, eventual smut, mating cycles, cunningulus he's a eater fri), possessiveness, stalking but make it extraterrestrial, slow burn, emotional confusion, reader unknowingly living with an alien royal, transformation scenes, minor intergalactic politics later on, Mei mei(yuck), fluff, piv, nsfw, Hurt/comfort, slight dominance/ submission, Happy ending (yayayayayay!) w.c: 4.2k
masterlist || chpt 1 || chpt 3 || visual art
Dedicated to @madamechrissy
Inspired by @spideyyeet
Uratos Gooj had crossed more of the universe than heâd ever thought heâd see.
Worlds that burned in colors his empire never recorded in their thousands, if not millions , of scrolls, planets that breathed as living breathing creatures that floated in space, living structures shifting beneath unfamiliar suns.âšCivilizations that thrived without the need for conquest, without war, without anything he had been taught was absolutely necessary for âsurvival.â For power.
He had walked among them all unnoticed and unneeded by their residents,their inhabitantsâŠ
And now âŠhe truly felt freeâŠ
He had learned things the high council had never bothered to teach him. That food was not just something to eat to sustainâŠbut to savor and even enjoy. That laughter could exist without having to be suppressed. That children could be just thatâŠchildren. That time⊠could be spent without care, not commanded. That he couldâve lived a life he wanted all along.Gurus had been right. He usually was(Annoyingly so.)There was more to life than being a weapon. It had taken him weeks to understand that as he traversed the universe, explored galaxies and suchâŠHad taken him Longer to accept it. And for all the worlds he had seen⊠for all the places that had blurred together into distant, hazy memories there was one planet that wouldnât leave his mind anytime soon.
A small dwarf planetâŠ.not too advanced, not too bigâŠnot even that beautiful.JustâŠthe one where he had stayed. Where he felt at âŠcomplete... A quiet planet made of glass and smoke ,wrapped in warm and crystalline light.âšWhere the air carried a stillness that didnât feel emptyâŠjustâŠthere.
The isolated Brenyaiar Golten, the planet of glass and light. It stretched wide instead of tall, its planes made from smooth, translucent materials that caught and bent the glow of drifting lanterns overhead. Similar to the Gooj empire..but infinitely smaller. Like a rural village. Vapor curled through the streets in soft ribbon-like coils, warm and fragrant, clinging faintly to the skin and fabric of all that walked its streets.The entire place felt like it was breathing, unrushed, unbotheredâŠfree. Its residents, the goltenians, were a quiet folk who spent their days trading with merchants from other worlds and harvesting the strange crops that grew from their soil.
This planet is where he had met someone who did not look at him like a god, or a weapon, or a threat.
ââŠTch..what am I doingâŠ,â he muttered to himself. He hadnât meant to stay so longâŠ.really, there was nothing particularly interesting or special about this planetâŠ.and yet he found himself wandering the same streets.
It irritated him immensely, how something in him was unsatisfied with the thought of leaving the planet. Heâd been traveling through the village without purpose like heâd done on previous planets. His four arms and strong physique hidden beneath a long, dark cloak. Glow dimmed and maintained, his top and bottom eyes remain closed behind his royal head gear.
His powerful presence was restrainedâŠbut not completely gone. Few looked his way in curiosity âŠmost didnât bat an eye. Good. Moving through the busy streets of this planet made of smoke and glass, Uratos hadnât intended to stop.
He had no destination.
No purpose beyond movement. Only the need to satisfy his desire to stayâŠAnd yet, something drew him.
It wasnât the noise. The sound of laughter and celebrationâŠThere was plenty of that.
It was the warmth.
It wrapped around him and practically entranced him...made something within him yearn for something he hadnât gotten the chance to experience in his younger yearsâŠso much so that he found himself wandering farther than heâd gone beforeâŠuntil he found a low, wide structure sat tucked between tall glass spires, its entrance spilling golden light into the mellow haze of the street. Laughter poured from within, unrestrained, unchecked, layered with joyous voices and the soft clink of glass and cutlery.
Uratos stepped inside.
The tavern closed around him instantly. Dim lighting. Rich, vibrant color. Air thick with heat, vapor, and the quiet hum of life being lived without restraint. Without oppression. Tables scattered without order.
Beings of all kinds from many parts of the galaxy filled them,leaning, laughing, arguing, touching.
No hierarchy. No fear. No one bowed.
How âŠ.unusual. As he moved a little further into the establishment, he noticed that no one seemed to bat an eye in his direction. Fools. If he wanted to he could wipe them all out with a flutter of his lashesâŠ.not like he was GOING to but still..
His gaze settled on the bar at the center of the establishment⊠and stilled.
Behind it, shelves of glass vials filled with drinks and whatnot hovered in loose, unorganized rows, drifting slightly as if suspended in thought rather than structure. Liquids shimmered within them, promising an interesting experience if used.
And in front of it was her. She was leaned against the edge of the bar, posture relaxed, one hip angled slightly as if sheâd been there for hours and didnât mind staying longer. Like she had all the time in the galaxy. Her honeyed hair was swept back in an updo, skin shimmered faintly, light pink scales catching the lantern glow in delicate, shifting patterns. Her outfit was fitted and simple, designed with a kind of effortless elegance. A sleeveless, high-collared top wrapped loosely around her torso, the fabric dark and iridescent..black at first glance, but upon closer inspection was a rich red and deep mahogany when the light moved across it. It cinched neatly at her waist before flowing into layered, panels that draped over fitted pants.
He approached the bar. He couldnât tell you why.
And the woman, whoâd been yelling something at the one behind her, locked eyes with Uratos as he approached, raising a brow and blinking her three eyes.
âWell, hello hello! Welcome to the grand Xeyotl, stranger. My names Kyui Kusmoto What can I do for you??â
He hesitated before sitting down, eyes fluttering as he spoke up in a low voice, careful to not draw
attention.
ââŠIâd like to âŠsee the menu-â
She handed him a beaten up scroll and watched as he browsed his options. She chuckled to herself and then leaned on the bar, lowering her voice as she spoke to him again.
âSayâŠâŠYouâre not fromâŠhere.â
A pause.
âLike..,this sector..at allâŠright? Tengen, this part of the universe even?â
Her tensed ever so slightly and had she not noticed the slight twitch in his white brow..he probably wouldâve been able to play off her assumptionâŠand then she continued into her next question.
ââŠYouâre the runaway crown prince, yeah? His imperial highness, Uratos Goojââ Anddd..there it was. Uratosâs gaze sharpened and his nails dug into the scrolls edge. How had she know. He thought heâd hid it well. The background noise seemed to fade out of existence as he spoke up coldly.
â⊠How didâ?â
She winked at him before leaning back and turning around to grab a bottle, open it and pour him a drink. Softly guffawed at him.
âCâmonâŠnot many travelers have hair as silver as the moon with blue eyes that seem to reflect the very soulâŠ.plus Iâm always hearing things. Comes with being a tavern ownerâŠTravelers and drunk idiots with loose mouths. Iâm basically the gossip queen of this place.â
His eyes narrowed slightly, fingers twitching. Despite his calm exterior, internally, he was calculating how to get rid of everyone with as minimal effort as possible.
ââŠAnd them?â He jerked his head to the bystanders all around them. Had they too caught on..?
She snorted and set his drink down, rolling her eyes. âThey donât keep up. Old village. You could technically count me as their personal news source⊠and theyâre drunk as Tengen too.â
A pause.
ââŠAre you going to turn me in?â
The question was calm. But he was brewing like a storm underneath the facade. She didnât even blink as she turned away from him to continue what sheâd been doing before heâd approached the bar.
âNahâŠyou seem like a good egg. Plus, you look much happier than you did on the pictures on the scrolls.â
He tensed and started. âScrolls-?â
âBurned or thrown away. Like I saidâŠnobody particularly cares around here. Weâre on the egde of the solar system and no one would ever expect somebody as important as the crown prince of the Gooj empire to EVER show up here.â
Uratos stared at her.
Then, he slowly relaxedâŠnot fully, but enough.
ââŠThatâs it?â
âThatâs it.â
No fear nor reverence.Just the plain simple truth.
He swallowed and dipped his head. To her, he looked like a bashful and very, very relieved. Then he murmured something that made her brow furrow slightly.
âWhat was that?â
ââŠâŠ.Iâd like someâŠFood.â
She raised a brow and blinked. Then a bright smile appeared on her face, her brown eyes twinkling with delight.
âOf course, Your imperia- I mean..of course esteemed customer! What would you like from our menu! Do you have any allergies or preferences??â
Uratosâ cheeks flushed a pretty light blue, eyes fluttering at being allowed to choose something so small as what heâd get to eatâŠ.something that was always decided for him back home.
âIâŠ.would like to have whatever is the best thing on the menuâŠ..with some Ingori Kase (Nigori sake)âŠ.â
She nodded eagerly and then looked over her shoulder before shouting-
âUY!â
From behind the bar, a figure appeared..a cool presence, easy posture. Four obsidian eyes, pale milky skin and black hair.. the most noticeable thing about was the line that crossed over the bridge of his noseâŠsomething Uratos had never seen before.
âYes, Light of my life??â The new man said, smiling at his (Uratos now assumed) belvaria.(wife)
âGot someone here..he wants the house specialty.â She winked at the man and he locked eyes with Gojo. His eyes widened slightly and then he nodded. Apparently the man also immediately knew who Uratos was but, like Yuki had said, he didnât care.
The man glanced at Uratos once more and then nodded at Kyiu before disappearing again.
âOchso?? Well he doesnât get into others business at allâŠHe only cares if a customers rude to me,â she said simply.
âRelaxâŠ.seriouslyâŠyouâre fine here. Weâre not turning you in for your outrageous bounty or anything. Relax.â
And for the first timeâŠUratos really let his guard downâŠhe let himself be comfortableâŠlet himself just be.
He allowed himself the luxury of conversing with another being without having to worry about oversharing or whether they had ulterior motives.
Others joined him at the bar and he listened to them as they retold tales of their travels, of past adventures and battles⊠listened to Kyui boast of how she won Ochso by fighting for his hand in marriage⊠he even talked a little about his own endeavors with Gurus and suchâŠThe food came.Warm. Simple. Delicious in a way that quieted the nagging in the pit of his belly .He ate. Kyui poured him some of the drink that made his senses tingle and body float.
And he laughed, and laughed, and laughed.
This is what heâd been missingâŠ
This quiet Life.
This sense of connection.
This âŠtiny happiness.
No one watching him.
No one needing him.
No one controlling him.
And when he was satisfied ..and that ache heâd previously felt before he encountered Kyui and her people was gone..he stood on steady feet, a warm and happy smile on his face and his bell full and satiated. He reached into the pocket of his cloak and dropped a enormous bag of imperial coin on the bar. The other customers blanched and looked at him with wide eyes, now drunkenly wondering who the hell he was.
ââŠIâll be leaving now , Kyui⊠tell your belvario that his food was deliciousâŠand heâs welcome in my kitchen any time⊠She smiled at him and the other customers let out groans of disapproval, asking him stay a little longer. He laughed and shook his head softly, eyes crinkling with joy before waving at them.
â It was nice to be blessed by your radiance, esteemed customer.â Kyui jokingly said. A brief pause as she cleaned up his spot and watched him begin to move towards the door before calling out to him.
ââŠCome back sometimeâŠ. And bring that guy with you! What was his name uhâŠoh yeah, Gurus!â The surprise that crossed Uratosâ face was almost comical, slightly because he was tipsy, but mostly because he hadnât expected her to actually listen. It made the brightest, prettiest smile of all cross his face as he nodded and waved.
And then..he was gone.
Back on the streets, he floated past a group of smaller beings crowded around a street performer, something with too many limbs and bright, shifting skin that twisted itself into impossible shapes. They laughed when it exaggerated its movements, when it stumbled intentionally, when it turned failure into something entertaining. He laughed with them and continued on his way, back to his ship.
Further down, two figures argued over something trivial. Their voices sharp at first, gestures exaggerated, tension rising, before one of them broke. Smiled. Then laughed and kissed
The other followed.Whatever it had been,
it didnât matter anymore. In the Gooj empire,
disagreements didnât end like that.They ended either in submission or silence.
How delightful to see that everything didnât revolve around him or his empire. A pair sat close together on the edge of a low platform, shoulders touching, speaking in quiet tones. One gestured softly as they spoke, the other listening,not because they had toâŠbut because they wanted to.
At this , Uratos stopped. Watchdd snd stared with open fascination.Felt something âŠstrange.
The thought came quietly.
I wonder what it would be like..to love someone whoâs different than you..but nevertheless youâre everything.
To love and be loved.
Not in the way he loved Gurus or his late parentsâŠbut someone whose heart burned with the same heat as his. His twin flame.
Heâd been taught that many things were pointless on this life if they couldnât be controlled and disciplined. Love was one of them
Unpredictable, chaotic, and âŠpointless.
But , as of late, Uratos was learning that many things heâd been forced to learn as a young Gooj was all a lie. So maybeâŠâŠ
Uratos exhaled slowly and spoke softly to himself as he turned away.
ââŠIâve been missing this.â
Not conquest.Not powerâŠ
This.
Life.
Life that didnât revolve around him didnât fear him, didnât NEED him.
He stood there a moment longer before he continued on his path to his ship, his eyes to the stars and his heart bursting with passion.
The Zenoral Morteph drifted in open space, simply floating without purpose.
Below it, the planet of smoke and glass turned slowly, its pale atmosphere catching distant starlight, scattering it across frozen terrain in soft, shifting hues. Blues melted into silver, silver into something almost luminous, like the world itself was breathing quietly beneath him.
Uratos stood at the observation deck. Still.
But with opened eyes. With awe. He gently pressed a hand against the glass.
ââŠItâsâŠvast.â
The words left him filled with awe and reverence.
For the first time he was floored by how amazing the universe was. His gaze lifted ..past the planet, into the endless spread of stars. The siblings to the âheartâ within his body.
His hand rose to his chest,resting over it.
His core. A faint glow pulsed beneath his skin, beneath his attireâŠslow, steady, alive.
ââŠYouâre louder now.â He whispered to it softly.
That presence, ancient, distant, constant thing,
had always been there. Always Buried beneath orders, war and noise. Always being ignored by himâŠ.Now, it called to him.
ââŠNot even a little.â Uratos said, mirroring Gurusâ tone of disbelief.
âIf I was her I wouldâve sounded every alarm on the damned planet!? Do you know how much theyâre offering for your capture and safe return?! Even one sliver of information about you right now would be worth the entirety of a small kingdom-!!â
A quiet exhale left Uratos and he interrupted.
ââŠTHE POINT, You backstabbing benran(traitor), is that âŠshe treated me like I wasâŠnormal.â
Silence.
Then-ââŠThat sounds absolutely horrifying. Poor you, you mustâve been horrified to not be the center of attention for once.â
Uratos huffed softly and played along.
ââŠIt was. Absolutely horrible. So horrible I let my guard down and admitted that I missed you of all things.â
A beat. And then Gurusâ expression softened.
âIâŠhave missed your company as well. But itâs okay because I know youâre experiencing things for the both of us.â
Uratos nodded.
ââŠOut of every place Iâve been so farâŠI stayed on this planet longer than I meant to⊠and Iâm glad I did.â
ââŠYouâve always done that âŠespecially when something matters,â Gurus said before pausing .
ââŠAre you happy?â
Uratos didnât hesitate like he wouldâve done in the past.
ââŠYes. Immensely so. And I have you to thank for it.â
Soft. Certain. Genuine.
Uratos watched Gurus blush with pride and embarrassment and then quietly exhale through the communicator.
ââŠGood. Iâm so glad.âŠdonât come back.â
Uratosâs frowned slightly and shook his head.
âI have to come back for you, Gurus⊠I canât just disappear.â
Gurus opened his mouth but Uratos , suddenly, couldnât decipher what he was saying. The white haired princes frown deepened and he tried to fix the connection between him and his best friend. He wasnât ready to leave himâŠhe hadnât even gotten a chance to make sure Gurus was completely fine-
âUratos-skkrrrrâ
The audio glitched and contorted, Gurusâ appearance distorting.
And the last the Uratos heard was a single yet powerful word from Gurus.
ââŠLive.â
The line went dead. Silence returned, deeper and fuller now. Uratos let out a little noise of frustration , wondering why the hell his high tech ships connection was suddenly fucking up-
And then ..he saw it before he heard the sound of the sensors screaming.
Ships appearing from tears in space..Ships that surrounded the Zenoral Morteph âŠlayered, overlapping, tightening into formation with mechanical precision.
Dozens. Then Hundreds.
His gaze moved once across them, quick and calculative.. and that was enough. He opened the ship and flew out , his eyes landing on the fleet of ships.
Weak points lit up in his vision. Power cores. Structural weaknesses. There wasnât a thought as he moved with muscle memory. His hand lifted and space folded into itself, the area turning a bright and blinding blue. Then , with his other hands , a red light appeared, hungry and eager.
The first set of ships collapsed inward without resistance, crushed into nothing before the others could react.
Then another set wa blasted and repelled away, crashing into each other and exploding. Then a cluster.
His perception widened, a slightly feral smile splitting across his face as he recognized more.
Not just ships. Systems. Patterns. Intent.
He saw their coordinations before they happened.
Saw their firing lines before they aligned. Saw the outcome before the action.And he erased it all completely. Mercilessly.Energy fire convergedâŠ
and missed. Because he had already moved.
Already corrected. Already decided. His ship cut forward through them all, simply an extension of his will, carving through formation after formation with surgical precision.
Half the fleet disappeared in mere nanoseconds .The rest soon followed.
Until, nothing remained.
Uranus lowered his four hands, expression blank.
Silence returnedâŠ.
Then, it broke.
Not with sound but with an overwhelming pressure.
His eyes shifted once more. Focused. And for the first time in his life, they couldnât decipher something immediately. Space distorted at the center of space, a dark all-consuming presence making itself known.
Not a structure, Not a formation.
An absence. It didnât behave.
Didnât follow any pattern heâd seen before. Didnât resolve into something his perception could immediately dissect and break down. It festered. And the imposing figure inside âŠ.had two arms like himâŠ.either reddish skinâŠ.two faces and four red sharp eyes that seemed to promise destruction.
And That was new. Intriguing but..dangerous.
His eyes adjusted againâŠExpanded. Pushed deeper.
And still nothing would give.
A figure emerged aboard a ship made of dark matter and the void itself.
Uratos saw it âŠ..and didnât.Its form existed.
But its logic didnât settle. It was something simply defied everything he was.His gaze sharpened and he forced understanding.
And then
Movement.
He realized too late.
The shift happened too fast even for a god-like being like him.
Impact.
A line cut clean across the Zenoral Morteph, destroying his left engine completely and making the ship lurch.Uratos turned.His eyes tracked the motion,replayed it, slowed it, analyzed it across layers of perception.
What in Tengens name?
If his power erasedâŠ
this powerâŠrefined.
He raised his hand again.
Enough was enough. He didnât care about what or who this was anymore. He didnât have time to play with a new toyâŠhe had a universe to explore.
Space collapsed into his palmâŠdenser, sharper, more focused than before. Wider, Deeper. A large ball of pure energy equivalent to that of a white hole began to form in his palms, his expression contorting into determination.
He released it.
âVOID VIOLET.â
Erasure tore forward, space shuddering and giving way as his violet purple surged towards the vessel. And for a moment, he saw it connect. Saw the structure unravel and give away as most things did towards his ultimate attack.
Then it stopped.
It simply stopped.
His attack passedâŠand the vessel remained. Uratosâs pupils constricted. His eyes recalculated.
Faster. More aggressively.
But the answer came before his solution.
He had overwhelmed everything before. Because nothing required more than that.
This did.
And âŠToo late.
The figure moved again.
No wasted motionâŠ..No excess force.
Just precision and a simple goal.
Another cut.
Deeper.
This time, Uratos saw it clearly, blue eyes widening.
The cut sliced through his abdomen, separating his top half from his bottom half, blood spurting from his mouth and torso before floating in space.
Absolute Perfection.
Uratos moved then. Used his Lower hands to grab his torso and slam it back to his top part, his body working overtime to regenerate, his âheartâ kicking into overdrive to keep him âaliveâ long enough to heal himself. His eyes tracked everything at once, the fracture lines, the energy collapse, the failing systems, the pull of gravity belowâŠ
And beneath it all⊠the realization.
Power was not the limit.
He was.
He flew back down into his ship, gripping the ships gears with his too hands while coughing up blood. The alarms kept blaring as he stared at the vessel a ways across from him, seeing the imposing figure still staring at him, red eyes boring into his soul. He shuddered and grit his teeth, body swaying. He tapped buttons on his control panel just as the ship gave way and slammed on a button.
It Pulled downward, veering towards the planet a few light years awayâŠ.the nearest place that he could crash into rather than exploding on his ship in space.
Some part of his ship exploded and he lurched with the ship as it groaned and shuddered.
Fire consumed the edges of his visionâŠ
but his eyes remained fixed.
At the planet that rose to meet him..
Uratos didnât resist. Didnât panic despite the enormous amount of blood heâd lost..
He just watched.
And understood why he hadnât won.
Then impact became inevitable. And the prince who had just begun to live
.
.
.
fellâŠ.
(Thank you for reading!! And sorry for the super duper late upload. Pretty sure I got shadow banned when I tried to upload it last week or smth..and Iâve been consumed by tomadachi lifeđâđœ.)
Authors Note: Story is edited by @discojupiters . This is an alien inspired fic please donât take anything seriously and get offended I know the Jacksonâs arenât god damn aliens. Iâll be including descriptive language for gore and blood later on so Iâll add that in the needed chapterâs in warnings. Besides that please enjoy!!
Fog covered the streets as Michaelâs old school Cadillac was driving down the empty streets of his hometown. Harsh winds flowing brown crunchy leaves down the road, your hand sticking out the open window feeling the breeze against your skin. Your hair is wild and free, you feel like nothing can ruin this feeling. This feeling of all encompassing peace, true contentment.
You look to your left and watch how focused Michael is driving. He too seems to be in a state of undefeated calmness, His mind focused just on the road and getting back home. There was something about him, something magnetic and almost frightening about how otherworldly he was. As if he couldnât be real, couldnât be human, he felt one of a kind.
So sweet and understanding as if he knew so much more than everyone else around him. Not so much in an arrogant way but in a way as if he truly did know what he was talking about. That he wasnât new to anything around him, You sometimes thought that he might be an old soul.Â
But then he would do things like talk to animals as if they truly understood him. Look out for something in spaces where nothing was around as if he could see something you couldnât and if felt like he was new to earth, analyzing everything around him. He was a very interesting man to say the least.
âHeyâ
You blinked and focused back into the present looking into Michaelâs eyes.
âIâve been calling your name for a few minutes nowâ he laughs and smiles at you.
âAre you with me now or are you still stuck in your head sillyâ
You couldnât help but laugh and look down in embarrassment. It was so easy to feel flustered when his attention was on you. His eyes felt as if they could see all of you, your soul and your heart. It made you nervous.
âSorry, um yeah what is it you were saying?âÂ
He looks at you for a minute before grinning and turning back to look in front of him.
âI was saying that weâre about ten minutes away. I wanted to get you prepared, I know you were feeling really nervous to meet everybody.â
That was right, you were. You're meeting Michaelâs family for the very first time, and the anxiety you felt of getting so many peopleâs approval, especially people in such a close knit family as his, was dawning on you since the week before when he brought this trip up to you.
You look back out the window as the perfect suburban houses pass you by, trying to find an answer that was both the truth but also didnât make it sound like you were lying.
You peek at him in the corner of your eyes as you try and find the words. You startle in your seat a bit as you realize that the time you were trying to find something to say he was back to looking at you. He scared you sometimes. You didnât know why. But it was as if sometimes you looked at him and everything about him would change and be amplified. His eyes and pupils would appear bigger, his smile wider, his hands bigger. And then you would blink and it felt like it was all in your head.
You felt like you were going insane most times. You should have taken the benzos like your sister told you too. But you were sick of the fact you had to rely on something like pills to function.
âWellâŠâ
âYeah thatâs good, Iâm looking forward to itâ you reply as you crack your knuckles out the window to smooth your nerves.
Michael just shook his head as he was smiling and soon enough he was pulling up to his family's driveway.Â
The feeling of peace has now left you as you look up through the gated driveway. This was going to be a long night, you could feel it.
Michael pressed the button on an old intercom box that must have seen better days once upon a time. The box seemed to rattle with static til it finally got connected.Â
âHelloâ
âHey itâs me weâre here, are you gonna let us in or what?â
The crackling sound of what had to be one of Michaelâs siblings answered back.
âMichael? Youâre here?â
Michael looked to you with his hand both on the button still and the steering wheel as he rolled his eyes. You couldnât help but laugh at the situation. He turned back around and replied.
âDidnât I just say that? Randy let us in.â
âSheesh hold onâ
Finally the large heavy swirly steel gates began to open wide ready for us to pull in.
As you guys were entering the property you looked around and couldnât help but marvel at all the space just in the front of the place alone. It looked more like a manor than a house. The daunting size of it leaves you with butterflies in your stomach. The dark brown wood stands out against the warm red ones. A creaking porch chair swinging with the wind. Plants both flourishing and suffering seemed to be scattered all around the place as the car pulled to a stop not far from the door.
âWell do you like it?â
You turn to Michael and see him also turning from looking around reminding you he hasnât been home in a long time.
âYes itâs quite grandâŠ.everything, it seemsâ
âYeah Joseph is very much a go big or go home kind of manâ
Right, his father who you for sure were not looking forward to meeting after hearing the awful things Michael has let you in on about him.
âI can see thatâ you tease.
You both start laughing, til then it settles in that itâs time to go out. Michael, the gentleman he is, jumps out of the car to come and open the door for you.Â
As you wait, you start to adjust your clothes to try and not seem as anxious as you are, pulling your brown leather jacket down and continuing to pull your shirt down as the door is pulled open.
âReady?â Michael asks as he holds his hands out to help you down.
âReady as I can beâ you reply not being able to help and give a side smile.
âDonât worry so much theyâll love you, my family is happy Iâm finally bringing someone home. And Iâve talked about you so much over the phone they practically know you as much as I do.â
As youâre helped down the car you adjust your jeans as well, fiddling with the sides.Â
âAs much as you do, really?â
He looks down at you as heâs leaning against the door waiting for you to be done pulling yourself together. He nods his head and tells you that theyâre new to this.
âNew to this? What do you mean?â you say as you look up at him in confusion.
âI donât know, meeting new people, they donât get out much, too much to figure out you know.â
You didnât quite understand still but shook your head in agreement anyways.Â
After he closed and locked the doors you grab Michaelâs hand and pull him to guide you to the entrance feigning your eagerness to meet everyone.
âThen letâs go and have a good time and show them Iâm an open book, shall we?â You say as you swing your hands back and forth.
âItâll be a time all rightâ he laughs
You arrive at the large wood doors with weird stained glass embedded in them. As you try and fail to peek inside, Michael pulls back and forth the gargoyle knocker on the side.
As you stand and hear the sound of what seems like 100 locks being unlocked, the door is pulled open. Your heart begins to speed up and your hands start to sweat. It was as if your body was already preparing for flight mode.
âWelcome homeâ
Pulled back to the present you see an older lady standing to the side holding the door open. Her hair blow dried and her pearl necklace shining against her skin. You move from looking at her neck to find her eyes were big as well. Eyes pitch black and large pupils with a wide closed smile, you instantly knew where Micheal got his looks from.
As you shyly wave to greet her, your eyes drift to the side and behind her. Your mouth, open and ready to reply, quickly falls shut, as the words die down before you are able to speak as you look and see there are seven pairs of eyes crowding near the staircase and hallway staring you down.
The nervous sweat Michael must be feeling from your hands now starts to bloom also down your back. There were so many of them and as you glanced at each face you realized that it wasnât even everybody.Â
They looked you up and down eyes roaming against your body with their fixed smiles. Their hands holding one another in jittery excitement. You tried to remind yourself they were looking at you because they didnât know you. After all, it made sense right, they finally get to see the face behind your name.
You finally found the words to say something and not just stand there like an idiot further embarrassing yourself.
âUm hi, itâs, itâs nice to finally meet everyoneâ you say as you let out a nervous laugh
Michael looks down at you for a second before removing his hand to go and hug his mom.Â
He starts to introduce you as his arm is hugging his momâs shoulder pointing at you.
You smile and wave again, trying to pull yourself together for what seems like a number too high to count. You really should have brought your medication. This is coming to feel like this night wonât end well for you.
âNice to meet youâ his siblings say to you interrupting one another, leaving you to relax a bit as they start to banter with each other with their mother trying to get them to calm down.
While you were staring at them, Michael came back to your side pulling you into his. He looks down at you rubbing his hand up and down your shoulder and starts to whisper near your ear.
âWell this isnât scary is it?â
âNo I guess notâ you say under your breath.
âI told you there was nothing for you to worry about. No one is trying to scare you, if you're overwhelmed by anything we can just go back to my room. Yeah?â
You glance away from them and look up at him.
âOkayâŠyeah sounds goodâ you nod in agreement.
As Michael stares you down, tightening his hold on your shoulders, You turn around and look back at the door once again not being able to see through the glass. Youâre far from home and something in your mind was telling you to leave. Your mind was telling you that no, you canât stay, you need to go home and tell your sister how stupid you were thinking you were ready to take another step in this relationship. That it was getting too serious, that youâre not ready yet.Â
But as you turn back around and look up at Michael, you think back to the five years you spent together, learning more and more about each other yet never enough. How you never felt this way about anyone else before. That no one could even hold a candle to how great of a person he is.
So you just smile, rest your head against his shoulder and look back at his family and this house, ignoring the aching feeling in your stomach and prepare yourself for whatâs to come.