Chapter 1… The Release Party

Genesis paced back and forth in the bedroom of her East Harlem brownstone. She went to her large walk-in closet, grabbed 6 dresses, throwing them on the bed. She growled as she grabbed her Iphone and facetimed Vanessa, her best friend and editor of her latest book, The Mirror of You, A book about a woman who overcame pain and heartbreak and abuse at the hands of a narcissistic man. It was a hit and sold over a half a million copies in 2 weeks. Genesis was growing impatient as Vanessa did not answer her call. “What the hell is she doing?!” Genesis mumbled as she texted her, “call me now!” Genesis threw the phone on the bed before sitting down on the edge of her bed. Genesis rubbed her temples before letting out a deep sigh.

A few minutes later, Vanessa called. Genesis felt relieved as she saw Vanessa’s name and picture on her phone. “What’s wrong?” Vanessa laughed. “What were you doin? I called you 8 times!” Genesis cried. Vanessa knew Genesis hated book release parties. If it were up to Gen, she would be laid up in her bed watching The Golden Girls eating ice cream. Vanessa knew she had to rush to Harlem and do damage control and calm Genesis down.

“Sis, I was making calls for your security detail tonight. I got you the best of the best. The Fatu’s.” Genesis sighed, “Thanks sis. Now I need you to bring your ass over and help me with this outfit.” Vanessa giggled, “I’m on my way to the train station now, I’ll be there in 15 minutes. I’ll get you tea to calm your nerves sis.” Genesis smiled, “Love you chica. See you in a few.”

Genesis went through her closet and grabbed a few more outfits to show Vanessa when she arrived. Genesis just wanted to get this night over with as fast as possible. Genesis connected her IPad to her bluetooth and played some music to ease her mind. Vanessa got there in 20 minutes. She had her Moroccan mint tea and a bagel with cream cheese, Genesis smiled, “You’re a life saver” as she sat down to drink the tea. Vanessa walked to Genesis room, “I think we should go with the olive green fit, it brings out your eyes.” Vanessa was always the one to get Gen right. Vanessa laid out the outfit, jewelry and shoes for her. Genesis, after having her tea showered and got herself together. Vanessa looked at her phone, “It’s almost time sis, you ready?” Genesis nodded, “Yeah. Let's get this over with so I can be home for Golden Girls.” Vanessa laughed, shaking her head, “Girl you watched the show a billion times, you can go one night without it.” Genesis rolled her eyes, “I guess.” Vanessa’s phone rang, it was the limo driver. “Driver’s here sis.” Genesis took a deep breath, “let’s go.”. As they got to the limo that was parked outside her brownstone, a man who was not the driver exited from the passenger side. Ms. Rivera, my name is Jon Fatu, from Fatu’s Security. I am here to escort you to the event. Gen was left speechless as she looked at Jon. Vanessa nudged Gen, bringing her back to reality. “Nice to meet you Jon, and please call me Genesis.” Jon smiled as he opened the door. Just as Genesis was about to get in, Jon whispered, “the pleasure is all mine.” Gen blushed as she entered the limo.

She waited as Jon closed the door to turn to Vanessa, “Damn” was all she could say. Vanessa laughed but they shut up as soon as Jon got in the car. On the way there, they all went over the agenda. Jon assured them that everything would be fine and that he, his brothers and cousins will keep the crazies out. That calmed Gen’s anxiety.

As they pulled up to the bookstore, Genesis was in shock at the sight of the reporters that were there and how long the line was. Everyone was there to see her. She felt the anxiety build up again as her hands started to shake. Vanessa grabbed her hand, “I’m right here sis.” Gen looked at Vanessa, all she could do was nod. Jon turned to Gen, “wait for my signal, sit tight for a minute.” Gen watched as Jon moved the people and made a path before returning to the limo. Jon opened the door, “Follow me.” Jon extended his hand out for Gen to hold as he walked her into the bookstore.

As soon as Gen walked in, the reporters from local newspapers, New Yorker Magazine shouted they wanted a photo. Jon looked at Gen, who nodded, “Yeah, let them get their pics now,” Jon stepped over to the side, he made sure he was still close enough to protect her. The flashbulbs hit like lightning, blinding Gen’s eyes. She was already getting a headache. But Gen stood there, smiling. “Gen, where is your date?” Gen laughed, “still single, still looking for Mr. Right.”

That was music to Jon’s ears as he stared at Gen while she continued taking her pics he found his eyes wandering down to her curves. He wanted to shoot his shot by the end of the night, maybe invite her to the hookah lounge once this event is over. Vanessa leaned in, “Sis they are ready for you at the table.” Gen whispered to Vanessa, “took them long enough.” Gen looked over at Jon who grabbed her hand and led her to the table. Gen smiled at the setup. Her books sat in neat towers resembling NYC skyscrapers on the table beside her. The vibe in the Midtown Manhattan bookstore was dope. The audience was a mix of women of all races and ages. She was in shock at the audience. Her publisher had called this her “breakout release,” the one that would ignite her career.

Genesis smiled as she went to sit down. Jon pulled out her chair for her. She thanked him as she sat down. Vanessa took a seat next to her. Just then, a man who looked a lot like Jon walked over to the table, “Hey Ms. Rivera, my name is Joshua Fatu, folks call me Jey, I am part of your security team. I just wanted to come over and say Hello and may I add you are even finer in person ma.” Jon rolled his eyes, “Yo, Uce take your position at the door.” Josh growled at his brother, leaned in to whisper to his twin, “watch your mouth uce.” Jon shrugged his shoulders as his twin walked away.

“Let’s get started” Gen said quickly as she wanted to calm the tension. Vanessa motioned for the door to open. Gen watched as the people lined up. First up was a woman who had to be in her 50's. She had a scar on her face. Gen looked at her and wondered what her story was and why she had that large scar across her face. The woman was motioned by Jon to come over. “Ms. Rivera, your words got me through my divorce,” the woman said, voice trembling as she clutched the book.

Genesis smiled and nodded. “I’m glad it helped.” Genesis reached for the book, the woman who was still trembling, handed Gen the book, “Sorry.” Gen smiled, “No worries, what is your name queen?” the woman smiled, “Michelle.” Genesis smiled as she opened the book, as Genesis went to sign it, she noticed a man standing there, staring at Genesis, making her feel uneasy. Gen shook it off and signed the book. Michelle cried tears of joy as she read the message Gen wrote to her. “You are strong, You are loved!” Gen, feeling emotional, hugged Michelle. Gen watched as Michelle walked away. Gen noticed the man had now moved to the other side of the room. He had on a dark jacket. Hood low over his face. He didn’t hold a book. He wasn’t in line. He didn’t belong. Gen looked over to make sure Jon was close by. “You see that man over there in the hooded jacket, I need you to keep an eye on him.” Gen whispered to Vanessa who looked over towards Jon, as she motioned for him to come over. Vanessa whispered something in his ear and she noticed Jon waving across the room to a man who was tall and had his long black hair tied up in a bun. Jon said something to him and the man nodded before walking over to the side of the room where the mystery man was standing.

“That’s Joe and my future baby daddy” Vanessa whispered in Gen’s ear. Gen playfully pushed Vanessa and motioned for the next person to come. The vibe was great. Selfies were taken, Gen got flowers and bracelets from her fans. Gen tried not to worry too much about the strange man. After 30 minutes, Gen looked over to see the man was gone. Gen breathed a sigh of relief, happy he was gone.

After the signing, Vanessa came in with champagne, flowers and a cake that said “congratulations”. Cameras flashed again. Genesis laughed when she was supposed to, hugged who she was told to hug. She even danced with Vanessa. Jon stood by and watched every single move she made. But even as the night wore on, she couldn’t shake the feeling that strange man gave her. She was just ready to get home.

Jon walked over to Gen, “you look exhausted, you ready to go home?” Gen nodded, “yes please. Can you take me home? I know it’s not what you’re being paid for. But that strange man tonight has me feeling anxious. If you need me to pay extra for your services, I will be happy to pay.” Jon shook his head, “No, Genesis, I got you. Let me tell Marcus to bring my car out front.” Genesis quickly replied, “wait, can we go out the back? I just want to make sure we won’t be followed.”

Jon was concerned by how scared Genesis was. “Yeah, we can do that.” Genesis walked over to Vanessa who was talking to Joe in the corner, hugged her, “Jon is going to take me home.” Vanessa smiled, “I know that’s right sis.” Gen shook her head, “it’s nothing like that sis.” Vanessa nodded, “text me when you get home sis. Love you.”

“Car’s ready” Jon said as he escorted Gen to the back door. Gen got into his GMC Denali. Jon handed her his yankee hat and an extra pair of sunglasses he had in his center console. His windows were tinted so that also helped. Gen giggled as she put on the Yankees hat. Jon smiled, “it looks good on you.” before driving off.

On the ride to her brownstone, they talked about food, music and sports. Genesis was happy they didn’t talk about work. She gets tired of it sometimes and she misses having a normal conversation. “So you're single huh?” Jon asked, hoping his straightforwardness wouldn’t offend Gen. “Yeah, unfortunately the men I meet are boring. I like a man that likes sports, gaming and music and he has to make me laugh.” Jon nodded, “funny, I have the same problem. I can’t find someone who likes those same exact things.” Gen smiled, as bad as she wanted to say something slick. She decided to see where this night takes her first.

They pulled up to her brownstone. Jon opened the door for her, Gen handed him her keys. Jon opened the door for her. “Let me check the place.” Gen giggled as she watched Jon go room to room, checking out the closets as well as under the bed. Gen went to her bar and decided to make herself a Cuba Libre. Jon walked in, “all is clear.” Gen smiled, “want a drink?” Jon said yes as he sat down on her couch. Gen handed him his drink and joined him on the couch. She put on her TV and turned to The Golden Girls. Jon laughed along with her.

By now almost 2 hours have passed. “Let me text Vanessa before she curses my ass out.” Gen looked at Jon who looked sleepy. Genesis kicked off her shoes and checked her phone. Fifty unread messages. Her group chat with Vanessa and her childhood friends buzzed with memes and funny reels. Vanessa had sent a photo of them from the party with the caption, you did it, sis Bestseller energy! Queen shit!

Genesis sent blushing face GIFs along with heart emojis, “I have company. Will tty tomorrow.” Then her phone buzzed again. She thought it was Vanessa being nosey. But it wasn’t, it was an unknown number with a text:

He could have been there. He even had been there, just not to see her. Well, except that one time... But words were said and they both got ugly, so that didn't count. If only he hadn't been such an ass! They had the chance to talk and truly resolve things all that time ago, had time, but he had to be so… Work had been the excuse he held onto, forced himself to stick to, as it had been in so many other situations, but he could have chosen differently. He could have!

He’d even had her in front of him a year ago; arms open, inviting him to come along on Horizon. Kaidan rejected her then too. But he still got her back! Shepard had stolen away from Cerberus just to be with him, risking everything. She'd been in his embrace and shared his bed. Just a few days. The best few days of his life. But he had to go and blame her for the Batarians after that! Left her alone with all those lives heavy on her soul...

Kaidan mentally kicked himself. He couldn’t have lost her. Not again. Especially not after he’d squandered their second and third chances. They had to find her.

They had to find her.

“Major?”

He stopped his swift, aimless pacing. It was Chakwas; she was peaking her head out of the Med-bay. He nodded in acknowledgment and made his way over.

“Javik says you smell like sadness,” she commented as the automatic doors shut behind him.

“I’ll try to contain the odor, ma’am."

“Very funny, Kaidan,” she admonished, “I’m worried about your stress. The Normandy can’t afford for you to suffer some infernal days-long migraine. Not now.”

He knew that, but the reminder stung. The journey back to Earth had been tentatively agreed on at best; something as small as two, three days of his absence could upset everything. The crew were all eager to find Shepard too, but it was just… things were different now. Uncertainty ruled.

“I’m fine,” he assured her.

“Bullshit.”

Kaidan rolled his eyes, “What? You wanna give me another check-up?”

Chakwas walked away to grab something that was tucked away in a drawer. She pulled out an old bottle of whiskey, and two glasses.

“I was thinking we’d have a drink.”

Kaidan smiled, embarrassed he'd snapped a bit and grateful for the grace she gave him, “Now you’re talking, Doc.”

He watched her give each glass a generous pour.

“In normal circumstances, I wouldn’t condone all this drinking, but…”

“These aren’t normal circumstances,” Kaidan finished for her.

“Exactly. Just for the time being. A little sin in exchange for going to Hell and back.”

She handed him his glass, a glint in her eye defiant of the gloomy circumstances. It reminded him of Shepard. He might not be able to find her, but he saw her everywhere.

They held up their glasses, and she spoke.

“Shepard and I toasted to the end of times twice, and still here we stand. You weren’t there for those—”

You weren't there.

“And now she’s not here to toast the beginning of times with us,” she continued, “May we all meet again, and share a toast together, the first of many to come.”

They clinked their glasses, sharing a meaningful look.

“If we find her—when we find her,” Kaidan declared, “I’ll always be wherever she is. As long as she wants me around.”

“Hear, hear!” Chakwas agreed, and they threw their heads back.

*                       *                       *                       *                       *                       *

Wrex was worried. Shepard was asleep, always asleep.

It was hard to see her lying there unconscious like that, hooked into machines. The tubes were the worst part. They snaked in and out of her like sharp wires ready to tear her apart.

Delicate things, humans. Shepard might be Krogan, but she wasn't a krogan. She needed sleep to heal. Though, tough bastard that she was, she kept trying to wake up. The doctors had to keep increasing the medication.

There was no way he’d leave her side.

Recently, Wrex tried taking turns with Grunt, watching over her while the other rested—For a bit… before that fell brutally apart. One of those days, the one that ended up being their last, Wrex returned to find Shepard completely alone.

There had been a meatball cart outside.

A meatball cart.

Grunt left Shepard’s side because he wanted meatballs. Meatballs!

To make things worse, that day ended with Grunt getting detained for aggravated assault. Making him wait in line, and for food, was begging for homicide.

They made Grunt wait in line for food.

“Forever! It was torture!” Grunt told Wrex when he came to pick him up. “And then when I finally got my scoop of tender, sweet, juicy meatballs, some guy came and BUMPED me!”

“I don’t care!” Wrex shouted, making the Human guard shiver, “You should never leave her alone!”

“I was hungry!”

“I should leave you in there and teach you about hungry,” Wrex grumbled.

“I’m already starving! My precious meatballs—they fell to the floor!” Grunt cried miserably. Then he shook his face and growled, “That’s why I had to beat that guy up!”

“Grunt, you didn’t have to do anything! You chose to leave; you also chose to almost kill that human.”

The boy could lead a squad, but he couldn’t sit still. And Wrex couldn’t trust anyone else, not until the Normandy finally got there—if it was even coming at all.

There was absolutely no way he’d leave her room again.

Wrex watched Shepard’s chest rise and fall with the sound of the machine.

No matter what anyone said.

The tube in her throat couldn’t be comfortable. He rang for the nurses again.

“Yes, General Urdnot?” It was the Human male with the snarky voice. Wrex didn’t like him, but he was thorough.

“She still doesn’t look comfortable.”

The nurse sighed and went over to examine the patient. He checked the machines, adjusted her blankets and pillows, and triple-checked everything going in and out of her.

“She’s as comfortable as she was ten minutes ago, sir.”

“That’s not good enough. Look at her.”

“I am.”

Wrex growled but the nurse didn’t flinch.

“May I suggest something, sir?”

“What?” he snapped.

“Please get some rest.”

“I’m not resting until her crew gets here.”

“Is there any way I can help?”

“Yeah, you can get in touch with the Normandy.”

The nurse nodded and walked out of the room.

Wrex had lost track of time, but he knew it had been at least over a week since they’d found her. Messages were sent out, but they hadn’t been answered.

A few ominous datapads were stacked in the chair next to him. He knew he had to get to work and picked up the top one, sighing.

Councilor Merrit was blowing up his inbox again.

Wrex stood up, chucking the tablet aside, “Fuck this, fuck that, fuck him. No. No, no, no. NO!”

Shepard didn’t react.

“Don’t look at me like that!” he growled, even though her eyes were closed, “Merrit is an asshole. You’ll see. Hmmppff! Content enough to hide behind us, sniveling and clinging to our legs during the war—Throw my people in the front lines, and now he wants to throw them out!”

Wrex plopped back down in that uncomfortable seat. He continued to rant, “All my people want is some fucking farmland! We’re from Tuchanka; we don’t care how shitty it is. And he says, HE SAYS, ‘Do Krogan even farm?’ Like we don’t have the brains of a farmer and the bodies of an ox!”

Sitting there day after day, perpetually existing in a combination of uncertainty and boredom, Wrex was left with a lot of time to scroll through what remained of the extranet. Many things were lost in the data wipe cased by The Beam, but plenty of local information about Earth animals remained. He was learning a lot, and particularly admired these beasts called "oxen" when he'd stumbled across them.

Something beeped. A call from Bakara. Wrex rolled his eyes and accepted it.

“Come home,” she said unceremoniously. He could hear her surrounded by wailing babies in the background, but her face didn’t show it.

Home. More like the main Krogan encampment back in London where he’d left them.

“I can’t come home, honey. Shepard needs me here.”

“Urdont Wrex,” Bakara began, “You are a leader and a warrior. People depend on you.”

“I’m sorry. You’re right,” he said guiltily. “You need help with the babies.”

“No. My sisters and I can handle them ourselves. It’s the other Krogan, and these Humans. There are negotiations to be made, and females waiting to be fertilized.”

“Bakara, I already have hundreds of children at this point! Let other sires have a chance. I’m done! And I am negotiating! I’m waiting for the Alliance to come back with better terms before I sign anything.”

“Wrex…”

“Don’t ‘Wrex’ me!”

“Wreeex,” Bakara cooed musically.

“That’s not fair.”

“Wreeeeex.”

“Stop that.”

“I’m just saying your name.”

“Yeah, in that special way.”

“Won’t you please come out of that room? I miss you.”

“I miss you too, Bakara.”

“And I have practically a whole clan waiting for you to sire their children,” she started again impatiently, “I sent them to the hospital to make it easier. If you can get it all done before this evening let me know and I’ll—”

Wrex hung up. She brought them all here?

No! No more!

He got up and locked the door.

“Not like it’ll stop a horny Krogan, let alone enough to make up ‘practically a whole clan’, but a false sense of security is better than nothing. Right?” he quipped to the unconscious Shepard, desperately barricading the door with chairs.

She just laid there with her eyes shut: the machines beeping out that she was alive; the sound of her breath rasping like something wasn’t right.

*                       *                       *                       *                       *                       *

She had to come back.

Kaidan diligently cared for Shepard’s animals while she was… away. Someone else could’ve done it, but he wanted control. He had to make sure that she returned without a friend out of place. Every port made it harder to keep the whole crew together. But he had to. He had to keep everyone together. At least until they found her.

Or what was left of her.

It was a slow process, stopping and refueling—even with the fastest ship in the galaxy. There was a lot of room for dissent.

People were hard, pets were easier. So, he really didn’t mind. He actually kind of looked forward to it. Shepard had her fish, they were pretty. And her hamster, Kaidan Hamenko, he was cute.

Kaidan could see how she got so attached. They looked at you expectantly, sure, but all they wanted was food or attention. It was love, simply delivered.

But there was guilt too.

It came up and coated the back of his tongue when he thought about what they meant to her, how they helped. He’d left her alone in the jaws the enemy, and they’d been her little lifelines. That’s why she’d been so upset when her clone—that was a trip—had almost gotten rid of them. They didn’t take away the pain, but they made the moment brighter.

He grumbled as he pinched little Kaidan Hamenko’s teeny, floofy cheeks. He should forgive himself. Shepard had.

Truth was, he’d be kicking himself even if Shepard were with him right now. She could be standing next to him, Hamenko in her hands, smiling and talking about anything, and there’d still be that deep feeling of regret for any time spent away from her. Just to know her was to regret life without her, to ache for every lost moment. He’d spent 32 years not knowing her, and another two grieving her.

34 years is a long time to be apart. And then he had to go ahead and add a whole year. 35.

He sighed and kissed the top of the little creature’s head before securing him back in his cage. The tube of fish food was where it always was on her desk—she’d find everything the same when she came back. It would be like she’d gotten on the ship that night, and…

Kaidan smiled as he picked it up. He’d seen her hold it so many times, and could imagine the warmth of her hands.

He would make sure her animals were all happy and healthy because Shepard would come back, and when she was back he would—

Oh, no.

“No, no, no, no, no, no.”

Kaidan dashed over to the tank. One striped fish was floating at the waterline.

The tube of fish flakes dropped from his grasp and spilled onto the floor.

“Fuck!”

He bent down, gathering the fallen pile into shaking hands, careful to only pick up flakes that rested on others and leaving anything that directly touched the floor. But he didn't have to be on his knees, it was okay. Even if he threw out everything that spilled, there would still be enough. He’d miraculously been able to get more when they’d finally docked. His hands worked anyway, carefully, obsessively. They sweated and sorted, because these were the flakes she'd bought for them. She said a joke he couldn't remember as she paid. Her smile looked bright in the neon marketplace. Her red hair glowed. When she—the last she ever bought...

His breath was turning rapid and shallow.

And there it was again; his nose stuffing and his eyes filling. No crying. No more fucking crying. It never seemed to stop the moment he was alone.

Kaidan stood up and drizzled the flakes he'd saved over the top of the tank, sprinkling them as far from the dead one as he could manage. The live fish swam up to meet the bounty. He watched them as he scooped out the dead one with both hands.

Then he sat on the floor, palms held up to cradle the limp fish, forearms resting on his knees. He was surprised the eel hadn’t eaten it. It made him worry about sickness in the tank.

He wanted to get up. But his legs wouldn’t move, and his breath refused to settle.

There was just his stupid, desperate gasping and the fish that no longer did.

The noise in the room didn’t sound like his voice.

But it was.

Time passed. His head started to hurt. He needed to deal with the body in his hands.

Kaidan could hear her, Pull yourself together, Major. She’d say it kindly and with a smirk. She’d touch him and he’d feel peace.

His head was pounding. He stood up when he could.

Kaidan laid the fish out on the table and looked up at the stars. He walked into the bathroom and washed his face.

Tali also really loved Shepard’s fish.

He pulled up his omni-tool and sent her a message.

One of the Stripey guys is gone. (Kaidan)

He’d barely sent it out before he heard the responding ping.

I’ll be right there. (Tali)

He didn’t smile, but his breathing settled a little. A moment later it pinged again.

Is it cool if I bring Garrus? (Tali)

Yeah. (Kaidan)

They came up and found him sitting on the bed staring into nothing.

“Oh, Kaidan,” Tali sighed, “You look like shit.”

“Thanks,” he replied.

Garrus sat next to him and put a hand on his shoulder.

“I miss her too,” he told him.

“We both do,” Tali added, looking down at them.

“I know,” Kaidan thanked them.

“So where is the little guy—Oh…” Tali asked, turning around and seeing the fish on the table. She put her hands to her face.

“It’s so sad,” she said tearfully.

Kaidan’s migraine stung in his head.

“Sorry… but, do you have any water?” he asked, one eye half-shut.

Garrus and Tali looked at each other.

“I’ll get you some,” Garrus offered, getting up. Tali took his place beside Kaidan.

“You’re doing great, you know,” she said.

Kaidan chuckled weakly. The physical searing in his forehead took over for panic and heartache. It was almost a relief.

“Tali… I just collapsed on the floor over a fish.”

“Stop that. You’ve taken charge and got us all out of a bad situation. We might not know exactly how we’ll get there, but we have a destination. We have a purpose... Even if everyone doesn’t quite agree on it... You’ve done more than a lot of people could on a normal day. You’re not broken, you just have your moments of breaking. We all do.”

“That’s… thank you,” he said.

Garrus came back with some water. Kaidan drank deeply and thanked him.

Tali got up and walked over to one of Shepard’s drawers, searching for something. “Aha!” she exclaimed after a bit, holding a small object in her fingers.

“And here’s a fun pill,” she said, offering Kaidan her find, “Don’t worry, it’s for Humans. Shepard had a stash.”

“A stash?” Kaidan asked, concerned and surprised. He swallowed the pill with more water.

“From the Cerberus days. There's a secret compartment in that drawer. I know because I made it," she said proudly.

“Awaiting trial, my ass,” Garrus mused, “I always wondered if Anderson and Hackett shut her away for so long in order to get her some counseling.”

“She did tell me she had therapy while she was locked up,” Kaidan said, “but I know for a fact they didn’t hold her there just for that.”

"Shepard was well taken care of. Even if she didn't know it at the time." Tali sighed, “I wish I had mentors slash father-figures like them.”

“Garrus and I can be that,” Kaidan offered, equal parts levity and sincerity, and covered her hand with his.

She giggled, but Garrus cleared his throat and shifted his feet. Kaidan realized his error and squeezed Tali’s hand apologetically.

“Oh, right. Sorry guys. How silly of me. I can be a like a father-figure, and he can be your daddy.”

Tali howled.

Whatever that mystery pill was, it was working very fast. That or the water. He took another sip.

“I guess I deserve that,” Garrus said, doing the Turian version of blushing.

“After the ‘Hamenko’ incident? Yeah. You’re never living that down because neither am I.”

“It was almost a year ago!”

“I don’t care!”

“Tali and Joker were part of it too!” Garrus protested.

“That may be true. But it was your idea, Garrus, to set Shepard’s hamster free, and replace the cage by her note with a wildly large sex toy.”

“We had to!” Garrus exclaimed, “And we didn’t set it free, it escaped when Joker dropped it.”

“You had to?” Kaidan asked.

“Of course!” Garrus answered, exasperated, “Her note said, ‘Please take care of him. His name is Kaidan Hamenko. He’s given me a lot of joy.’ What else did you expect us to do?!”

“Uh… Not that!”

“It was based off of a couple different types of penises,” Tali explained, veering the topic with details no one asked for.

Kaidan and Garrus stopped bickering to stare at her.

“You know, Turian, Drell… there’s Human! And I think… was it Elcor? Or Volus? Maybe both… Anyway, nothing beats the Reaper version they came out with near the end of the war.”

They kept staring.

“What?” she asked.

“Reaper?” Garrus asked, ignoring her question.

“That big dark grey one with the blue glowing dots I showed you.”

Garrus nodded thoughtfully.

“This is a lot of information,” Kaidan stated.

“Life happens at you fast,” Garrus said.

There hadn't been laughter and lightness in this cabin since... and suddenly the three of them felt the shift, heard the noise of the previous moments. It made them silent again.

“So, what are we going to do about this poor little guy?” Tali asked, breaking the solemn freeze.

Kaidan gazed at it sadly.

“I’d like to give it a proper burial,” Kaidan said, “You know, but, uh, eject him into space instead of put him in the ground. You know what I mean.”

“Should we invite Liara?” Garrus asked.

“Of course,” Tali answered, already typing up the message.

They all met down in the Starboard Cargo.

Liara watched as Tali and Garrus walked forward, each with a hand on one of Kaidan’s shoulders. He held what she assumed was the fish in outstretched palms, a napkin draped over it.

“Hey Liara,” Kaidan said as they reached her. She was waiting right by the airlock.

“Hey. I’m so sorry to hear about the Stripey guy.”

They all nodded and gathered close, shoulder-to-shoulder in a little circle to pay their respects. A few words were mumbled, and they each took turns giving the napkin a little pat.

Their expressions knotted all in one big tangle, wondering how they'd eventually break the news. Wondering if they'd ever have to.

Then the limp fish was sent off flying into space.

*                       *                       *                       *                       *                       *

Biotics flared behind the eyes of both women. The hostility between them spilled over, blue.

“I am your superior.”

Jack cackled, “No, I’m better than you, and that’s fact.”

“No, Jack,” Miranda stated, hand on her hip, “I’m your boss. Like for your job? I’ve brought you here to inform you that—"

Jack mocked her words as she spoke, "Oh, I've brought you here to inform you."

"As I was saying, I've brought you here to inform you that I’ve been appointed the Head of Biotic Affairs & Development.”

“Bullshit!” Jack exclaimed, kicking her chair back so hard it fell over.

They were in Miranda’s new office, a swiftly built prefab placed in the middle of what was once a suburb of London—It was a crater now, made so by the impact from a Reaper beam. There was room for a desk and two chairs, and not much else.

Attitude bristled, gained form, and became sentient. It turned the walls of the windowless room into oppressors.

“And this is why I insisted on telling you privately.”

“I’m not working for you, cheerleader,” Jack sneered.

“Well, technically you already are.”

Jack began to pace around the tight space. She grunted, glowing with biotic potential.

“And there’s that charming feral quality of yours,” Miranda commented, arms crossed.

“I know why you asked me here. You brought me here to gloat!”

“Maybe a little.”

Jack smirked, “At least you’re honest.”

“That’s a surprise. Got something nice to say about me for once?”

“Call it a redeeming quality,” Jack said, smiling disingenuously.

“For me or for you?”

“Both of us, probably,” Jack shrugged, “But stop dicking around! That can’t be the only thing you wanted to tell me.”

Miranda rolled her eyes.

“Okay. You’re right. That’s not all I have to say.”

“In the middle of the night,” Jack added disapprovingly.

“In the middle of the night, yes,” Miranda grudgingly repeated.

Jack raised her eyebrows, “You know, I’m flattered, princess. Truly.”

Miranda rolled her eyes again, “You’re disgusting!”

“But you like it,” Jack teased.

“No, I don’t!” Miranda exclaimed, taking the bait. “Dammit, Jack! It’s about Shepard.”

Jack stood up straight, her voice softened, “Shepard?”

“Yeah, I think they’ve found her.”

“Is she—?”

“Yeah, she’s okay.”

Jack lit up, her energy flowering into brilliance.

Miranda was expanding too, finally having someone else to share the news with, someone who loved Shepard just as much. Her heart fluttered as if she’d just heard the news herself.

For fuck’s sake! They even started hugging—Until they realized what they were doing.

They instantly broke apart.

Miranda cleared her throat, “Would you… would you come with me? I want to be there. To help her.”

“Aren’t you the big boss now?” Jack asked, crossing her arms, “Are you asking or are you telling?”

“This isn’t exactly business as usual, but we’d have to pretend it was.”

Of course Jack was never going to hesitate when it came to Shepard—but Miranda needed something from her!

She smacked her lips and gave her a long, staring wait.

“What do ya have in mind?” she finally asked, milking it.

Miranda rolled her eyes. “I’ll be there to work with the doctors on Shepard’s recovery,” she explained, “You’ll be there with your squad rebuilding the local area. Both would be true, but you and I would also keep our eyes and ears peeled for anything suspicious. She needs people she trusts on guard while she’s vulnerable.”

“Shepard’s alone?!”

“She has Wrex and his Krogan. I don’t know if Grunt—”

“Where did they find her?”

Miranda sighed at the interruption but understood Jack’s hurry for answers.

“You’ll never believe it.”

“Try me.”

“In some pile of snow in Sweden. She’s in a hospital in the middle of nowhere.”

“Why’s she in the middle of nowhere?”

“Jack…”

“What?!”

“If you hadn’t noticed,” Miranda began, rolling her eyes, “The Reapers hit the major cities and other densely populated areas. They targeted infrastructure and important buildings like hospitals, but they left the less populated areas alone. Earth’s mom and pop hospitals are now the greatest on the planet.”

“Wooonderful,” Jack sighed, “What about the Normandy?”

“I’m not sure, but there’s reports of people who saw it leave the system before the relay exploded. I’m sure they’re okay, whoever was on board.”

“But you don’t know for sure?” Jack questioned.

Miranda smirked and shrugged, “There’s not a lot of ‘sure’ going around these days.”

*                       *                       *                       *                       *                       *

What we do now? The whole galaxy thrummed with that question every day.

No one had thought this far, hadn’t dared to hope there would even be a this far. And those that did, envisioned a return to before. Not whatever this was.

Nobody had thought about what victory looked like in a broken world.

“Hah!” Traynor shouted, “HAH!”

Fortunately, victory still looked the same around a poker table.

Vega grinned, proud of his pupil.

“Gloat all you want, Traynor,” Kaidan said, “It’s just a fraction of what I’ve won off you today.”

“Basic rule of survival, Alenko, don’t anger the lesbian,” she warned.

“’Alenko’, huh? I thought you were supposed to address me as ‘Major’?”

“Are you really pulling rank right now?”

“Not really,” he admitted, grinning, “but it's kinda fun to piss you off.”

“Mission accomplished then, Major,” she said, rolling her eyes and standing up to gather the rest of her winnings.

Cortez dealt the next hand.

Samantha looked at her cards and groaned.

“You’re making me regret giving Joker your coordinates,” she grumbled. Traynor was the reason Steven was with them here and not stranded by the ruins of a council estate. She said it was no big deal when they picked him up, but wouldn't stop slipping it into conversation since.

“Yeah, right! You adore me,” Cortez objected, blowing her a kiss.

“Well, now you’re just making me blush, Steve.”

Everyone’s laughter rolled across the table in a low rumble.

But Javik wasn't laughing. He was studying the fate in his hands, “I do believe I am fucked.”

Vega felt bad for the guy. This wasn’t just an unfamiliar game; it was an unfamiliar cycle.

“If I agree to step out, can I help him?” he asked the group.

“Sure, Vega," Cortez said, "We all know you’d rather quit than tell people I beat your ass.”

“Oh, I bet you’d like it if I beat your ass. Maybe I should stay in the game."

Everyone laughed except Javik who asked, “Why would he like that?”

The group went quiet. Vega cleared his throat.

“Well," he explained kindly, "because ‘beating someone’s ass’ can have a sexual meaning.” 

“Yeah it can,” Kaidan and Traynor joked in unintentional unison. They smiled and leaned over the table to give each other high-fives.

“Why?” Javik asked casually, “Does it feel good?”

“Yes,” Vega answered, stifling his laugh, “It can feel good.”

Javik nodded thoughtfully.

“But like all things,” Vega continued, “It has to be done right. Let me show you how to play. Learn from a pro, Buggy!”

He stood up to move next to Javik, scooting passed Cortez and then Kaidan.

“Ow!” Kaidan complained, tangled up with Vega, “That was my foot!”

“Sorry, L2.”

“It’s like muscle-Tetris,” Cortez joked as Vega clumsily climbed passed Kaidan.

“Get a room, boys,” Traynor called out, eyes peeled on her cards, “Because I’m not leaving until I’ve robbed everyone here of everything they have or ever will have." 

“Charming,” Cortez commented dryly.

“No one is gonna take anything from you,” Vega reassured Javik, settling in beside him, “Not while I’m around.”

“Thank you, Human soldier. I do not want to be robbed.”

They played on with Vega looking over Javik’s shoulder and whispering advice. The idea was that this would improve Javik's chances, but with the alien loudly asking for explanations for why he should make this or that move, Vega's expertise probably had the opposite effect. The rivalry between Traynor and Kaidan was fierce, and Javik was pushed quickly out of the game. Cortez held on for longer than anyone expected him to, and in the end clinched it all with a surprise hand.

“You cheated,” Samantha seethed.

“Yeah, accuse the dealer of cheating,” Cortez retorted sarcastically. “Word of advice, if you’re gonna lose, at least be original about it.”

“This isn’t over, shuttle boy!”

“I’m so hungry,” Kaidan interjected.

“Maybe if we get Traynor some cookies she’ll be a little less… scary,” Cortez suggested.

“Cookies?” Traynor perked up, “I would like some cookies.”

Kaidan put a hand on her shoulder, “Come on, then. Let’s get you some cookies.”

Vega and Javik remained in their seats.

“In my cycle, we would never have a game like this.”

“Cheer up, Buggy. You’ll get better with practice.”

“No, I don’t care about that. My people wouldn’t play this game because we can sense each other’s thoughts and feelings. The concept of bluffing wouldn’t exist,” Javik explained.

“Oh, so no poker faces, huh?”

“Not as you explained them.”

Vega walked over to the bar.

“I guess there’s no point hiding anything from you ever,” Vega said, pouring himself a drink.

“No, there isn’t,” Javik answered.

“Cool. You want one?” Vega asked.

“Why not?” Javik answered. Vega poured him the same drink.

“Good man,” he said, handing it over to Javik.

“So, what can you read from me?” Vega asked after they each took a sip.

“You are confident.”

“Damn right!”

“And you are sad,” Javik continued.

“Oh.”

He took another sip, “There’s guilt there too.”

“That’s impressive.”

“And yet you walk around and smile.”

“I have to,” Vega said.

“Is that a Human trait?” Javik asked.

Vega shrugged, “For some.”

Javik looked at him thoughtfully and nodded, humming as he made a decision.

“I admire you,” he told Vega.

“That makes two of us, Buggy. I admire you too.”

*                       *                       *                       *                       *                       *

“Where is this going?” Tali asked.

“To the Sol system. Eventually...”

“No, Garrus!”

“Kidding! Don’t hit me.”

“Oh, Mr. Vakarian,” Tali sighed dramatically, “If I was going to hit you, I’d tie you up first.”

Garrus shook his head, “Promises, promises.” Then he took both of her hands in his and kissed them.

Tali walked over to the weapons bench and hopped up on it. Garrus followed her, sauntering. He towered over her. Taking her head between his hands, he gently kissed the top of her visor.

“This is going wherever you want it to go,” he offered, his voice a tender low growl.

“For real?” Tali asked.

“For real,” he confirmed happily. He could see Tali smiling under her helmet.

He was hers, and it drove her wild.

“Can it go to the drive core again?” she asked excitedly, “I liked the way it vibrates.”

She pulled him closer until they were tightly chest to chest.

“Only if you’re nice,” Garrus teased, “and if I recall… you haven’t been that nice.”

“Oh, because I beat you in poker the other night?”

“No. I’m an adult,” Garrus said, “This is because of the night after that when you lost at strip poker and made me take off my clothes!”

“Garrus, I’m a Quarian. I would have died!”

“Then what were you doing playing strip poker!?”

“I’m not having this argument again,” she said obstinately.

Garrus held up his arms in mock defeat and walked backwards out of the room, “Then you’re not having me in the engine room.”

“Bosh'tet!” Tali shouted as the doors shut. It made him smile.

He walked over to the Mess and found Kaidan and Traynor arguing about ingredients again.

“I mean, this is all coming from a bisexual. By definition you all eat anything.”

“That’s not how it works, and hey! That’s offensive.”

“You think synthetic goat cheese, dill, and bacon make a good sandwich! You, sir, are offensive.”

They stopped when Garrus came over.

“Are you done?” he asked them, standing over where they sat, “Or are you ashamed of yourselves?”

“Garrus!” Traynor greeted him sardonically, “Just the person to judge a debate on levo-food.”

“I didn’t come here for that. I’m here for Kaidan.”

“What is it, buddy?” he asked.

Garrus took a moment, shut his eyes, and said, “I need you to show me your dick.”

Traynor did a spit take.

Garrus continued, “You saw mine the other night, and… I can’t get that out of my head.”

She did another spit take.

Kaidan chuckled, “Well, when Tali put those cards on the table, I just knew I had to ride you both as hard as I could.”

Traynor couldn’t breathe.

“Bastard! You didn’t have to fuck me like that!” Garrus exclaimed, pounding his fist against his palm.

Kaidan laughed triumphantly.

“WHAT the fuck are you two talking about?”

“Tali wanted to play strip poker with us—me, Liara, and a few of the crew—and she couldn’t lose any clothes because, well,” Kaidan gestured vaguely, “So she made Garrus—”

“She didn’t make me. I volunteered.”

“Ok, so Garrus volunteered to take his clothes off for her. I don’t know if it was skill on my part, or if Tali threw the game, but let’s just say I ended up with everything and Garrus ended up with—”

“Nothing,” Garrus finished for him, then said, “Now show me your dick. It’s only fair.”

Kaidan shrugged, “Sorry, bud. I don’t make the rules.”

“It’s a Human game. You literally make the rules!” Garrus argued, “Now show me your dick!”

“I don’t know how Turians do it, but you can’t just come up to a guy while he’s eating and demand to see his dick.”

“Whoa!” Vega exclaimed, arms up, “What did I just walk into?”

“A lot,” Taynor answered, “You walked into a lot.”

“Apparently! And I’m here for it,” Vega said, sitting down and leaning back in his chair, “So, who’s sucking whose dick?”

“No one is sucking anyone’s dick,” Garrus said, “I just need Kaidan to show me his so we’re even.”

“Hello!” Vega laughed, “I missed something.”

“You missed a lot,” Traynor said.

“What’cha got there?” Vega asked Kaidan, noticing his sandwich.

“It’s goat cheese with dill and bacon.”

“Sounds good. What else?”

“That’s it,” Kaidan said, taking another bite.

“That’s it?!”

“Thank you!” Traynor exclaimed, throwing up her arms.

“Like… no lettuce? Not even oil or mayo… or any sauce?” Vega asked, scratching his head.

“Stop changing the subject!” Garrus demanded, “I’ve come to collect my debt. I don’t care when, I don’t care how, but you will show me your dick, Alenko!”

“A dick debt…” Samantha mused.

Then they all heard Liara scream. She was in her room with the door shut.

They rushed over right away, spilling out of their chairs.

“How much you wanna bet she heard us?” Kaidan joked, trying to keep his head from spinning with the worst.

“Your willie, nothing less,” Garrus growled.

The door was open before Kaidan had a chance to answer.

They saw Liara on her bed, weeping.

“What is it?” Kaidan asked, voice cracking with dread.

“They found her,” Liara managed to get out between sobs.

None of them breathed until they heard her speak again.

“She’s with Wrex,” Liara said as soon as she was able, “Shepard’s alive!”

Garrus and Kaidan ran to her. They held each other, shouting and celebrating, crying with gratitude.

Samantha gathered up Vega into a big bear hug, lifting him off his feet, “Come here, you big himbo!”

Liara, Kaidan, and Garrus were standing close, heads pressed together as they celebrated. Traynor and Vega decided to leave them alone.

“She’s alive,” Garrus said eventually, still weeping.

“I know—I knew it,” Kaidan said, joyful tears smearing his face. He was sobbing from grief’s opposite.

“So, Liara wasn’t screaming because she heard us?” Garrus' tone had adopted a manic tinge. Then he gleefully explained, “You've lost the bet. You have to show me your dick after all!”

“I didn’t actually agree, but anything you want, friend,” Kaidan consented, kissing the Turian on his battle-scared cheek.

“What?!” Liara exclaimed from between them, eyes popping.

*                       *                       *                       *                       *                       *

“You are fierce. You are a warrior!” Grunt roared from his knees, fists pounding against his chest.

The tiny grey-black kitten stared back at him with wide blue eyes, its little tail curling into a question mark as it loudly purred.

“Grunt, leave that cat baby alone,” Wrex admonished him.

“Kittens," Shepard informed them, "Cat babies are called kittens.” She smiled as she played weakly with a sleepy, orange one.

Wrex had been taking care of some stray cats after the war. He saw some the night after the last battle and decided to feed them because he liked the way their eyes glowed in the dark. He told her about how a group of them started hanging around, stalking him and his men. Wrex said the whole group of them together looked like stars blinking in the bushes. He saw it as an omen; he’d find her because his vision was pulled towards the stars.

He fed them faithfully, his good omens. They stuck around the Krogan camp after that, wherever it went. Wrex even had a few brought over to stay here with Shepard. His ultimate favorite, a poofy white one, had just had babies. He'd told her it was almost as exciting as the birth of his own children.

Grunt had taken them with him for the day’s visit. He knew Wrex cherished every opportunity to see them but was stuck in Shepard's room. Plus, the kittens always lifted Shep's spirits. She could get a little bleak these days.

“What happened to the Normandy?” she’d asked as soon as the doctors finally allowed her to be conscious.

“We don’t know, but we’re finding out,” Wrex informed her. His rough hand had cradled one of hers. Her grip felt weak when she'd squeezed it.

“He’ll come, Shepard,” he'd reassured her. The look on his face didn’t fill her with confidence.

“I hope he’s okay.”

She said it again now out of nowhere. She did that a lot. Not looking at either of them, she concentrated on the kitten in front of her.

When this is over, I’m going to be waiting for you. You’d better show up.

“He has to be okay,” she added.

Wrex nodded, “I’m sure he is.”

The door slammed open and that nurse Wrex didn’t like stormed in.

“You cannot have animals in here, sir. I already asked you twice, please take them out.”

Wrex growled, “I told you these are service animals.”

“These are strays!”

“You’re a stray,” Grunt threatened, getting up in his face. The grey kitten pounced on the nurse’s pant leg.

“It’s not my policy. It’s the hospital’s,” he insisted, standing firm.

“Come on. Let them stay,” Shepard pleaded, still vaguely preoccupied with the kitten on her chest.

The nurse left the room.

Wrex sighed and sat back down next to her. Things were a lot more interesting now that Shepard was awake. She couldn’t move, so she introduced him to reality tv. Wrex found those shows fascinating in a way that fascinated her. It didn’t even matter when she told him they were scripted. Wrex was convinced the things that fell out of these Humans’ mouths defied premeditation. His favorite was about colony life on Bekenstein. Too bad that place blew up. All those people were dead now. Shepard preferred the show called, “Sexily: Junk in the Trunk”, about a pawn shop owned by an Elcor sex-worker. He couldn’t understand why.

She looked up at him, smiling.

“Wrex?”

“What is it, Shepard?”

“Thank you, for being here for me. I don’t know if I can tell you how much it means,” she said, “Both of you. Really, I’d be dead.”

Wrex waved it off, “It’s nothing. Don’t worry about it.”

She looked down at the kitten, avoiding his eyes, “Please don’t feel like you have to stay here because you think you owe me.”

“Why would I—? Oh, the genophage? Stop that! Grunt and I are here because we want to be.”

“Damn right!” Grunt confirmed from the floor. He was rolling around with the grey kitten.

Shepard bolted up when there was knocking at the door. Every knock could be…

Grunt opened it and two people spilled into the room.

“Jack!? Miranda!?”

They ran over to her side, flying past Wrex. “Shepard!” they cried out together.

She held them both tight, kitten protesting loudly as it moved to the other end of her bed to get out of the way. It was almost overwhelming how much crying there was these days. The three women would have normally been embarrassed, but relief eclipsed every other feeling.

Still, every reunion was bitter to Shepard while she was waiting for news. She wasn’t ungrateful, it just…

“I’m so happy you’re both here,” she said, hushing the wish that they were someone else.

The moment they broke apart, Miranda began examining the chart by Shepard’s bed.

Jack addressed the Krogans, “Good to see you both on the other side, and not the other side.”

“What the fuck is this?” Miranda exclaimed.

“Language!” Jack teased, laughing, “I think she meant to say it’s good to see you too.”

“No, this is all wrong,” Miranda said more to herself than anyone in the room.

“What is it?” Shepard asked, suddenly nervous.

“Oh, nothing. They’re just going about treating you like… Where can I talk to someone about this?”

Wrex got a huge grin on his face. “I know exactly who you can talk to about everything,” he said gleefully, leading her outside.

Jack said hello to Grunt properly as the other two left. Shepard watched her pick him up weightlessly in an enthusiastic biotic embrace. Grunt let out the Krogan version of “Wheeee!”

“I’m so happy you made it, big guy,” Jack said happily.

“Jaaaaack!”

Shepard couldn’t help smiling. The kitten on her bed screamed in her face as it walked back up to her. Its breath smelled like tuna.

“This little guy has things to say,” she joked.

Jack came back over, “Sure, I mean he’s bound to be the speaker of his generation. Just listen to him.”

The kitten shouted again in response. It made them all laugh.

“Have you heard anything about the Normandy?” Shepard asked as their laughing quieted.

Jack pursed her lips and worried her forehead.

“I guess not,” she answered for her sadly.

“No, I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.”

They hung their heads, searching for something else to say. It was quiet except for the sound of Grunt playing with kittens behind them.

“So, why are you here?” Shepard asked, coming off harsh when she didn’t mean to.

“To look after you, silly.”

Someone else barged in through the door.

Shepard’s heart leapt and fell.

“Excuse me, pardon me,” said the intruder, a man in an all-white suit and greasy hair, “I hope I’m not interrupting anything.”

“Who’re you?” Grunt asked, already on the defense.

“More visitors,” Jack commented, “You’re popular.”

“I didn’t mean to just barge in. Apologies, my name is Hansen. I’m one of the new Alliance Councilors.”

He came further into the room, holding out his hand to Shepard. She didn’t want to take it.

It was moist and cold when she did.

“Pleasure to meet you!” Hansen said, shaking her hand too vigorously for comfort.

“And you,” she said, careful to hide her repulsion. He reminded her of Udina, but skeevier and not bald.

“Sorry again for interrupting. I just wanted to let you know I talked to the hospital staff. I heard they’ve been bothering you about the kittens.”

“Oh?” Shepard asked, taken aback.

“They won’t be bothering you about that anymore,” he winked.

“Thank you.”

He nodded excitedly and stood there. They all stared at him, waiting for him to turn and leave.

“Well…” Shepard began, trying to get Hansen to take the hint.

“Well,” he agreed, “We’ll be seeing a lot more of each other. Get well soon, Commander.”

He left the room, but the weird vibes he brought into it lingered behind. The friends who were eager to catch up suddenly didn’t feel like speaking.

*                       *                       *                       *                       *                       *

“What are you doing in here?” It was Joker’s turn to ask and startle Traynor from her thoughts. He’d found her there with a hand on the body. She tore it away at the sound of his voice.

“This is the part where I tell you how startling you are,” she joked in a strained tone.

“Only if you feel like it,” he joked, “I already know how terrifying I can be.”

She felt his eyes on the back of her neck. She didn’t turn to meet his face.

“Terrifying is a big word. It doesn’t fit you.”

He came closer, “Fits me like a loose, sweater, huh?”

“What?”

“Nothing.”

The hum of the eezo core fell over them like thickened silence.

Joker went to the other side of the body and took its hand. It was a possessive gesture he immediately regretted. He hadn’t touched it since she went offline.

And then Traynor had the audacity to ask, “Look, I know you… I know you were the one with—who had the special relationship with her, but… could you—would you… leave us for a bit?”

She didn’t even look him in the eye. His heart beat fast with rage.

“Sure, go ahead,” he said nonchalantly, and got up. There was no point in jealousy over a dead woman.

He looked back at her with the body once more before he left.

Traynor kept her eyes peeled on EDI, only looking up to make sure Joker had really left.

Then she resumed her work.

*                       *                       *                       *                       *                       *

A week or two had passed by in an instant after Jack and Miranda showed up. Still no news from the Normandy, and the only privacy she had came from lying down and pretending to be asleep. It reminded her of the Cerberus days, crying under her eyelids, hiding her gasping under the sheets.

Shepard was never alone. At least two people were always in the room with her, and as much as she loved them, it was starting to wear her down.

“Before I tell you anything, Shepard, I need you to know that I’ve made everything okay now.”

“Miiiraaanda…”

“No, listen. I need you to understand that I’ve already fixed everything, and that I won’t let anything bad happen to you.”

“I’m listening…”

“I’ll also make sure you get out of here a lot sooner than they—"

“Miranda! For the love of god, tell me whatever it is already.”

Miranda took a deep breath, and said, “Someone has been sabotaging your treatment regimen.”

“WHAT?!”

“But it’s okay! I fixed everything! You’re back on everything you need, and nothing you don’t. You’re going to be okay. I’ve got you.”

Wrex roared behind them.

“I knew it! I knew something wasn’t right!”

“How could this have happened?” Grunt asked.

Wrex replied angrily, “Maybe it had something to do with meatballs!”

“Excuse me?” Jack asked, taken aback. She’d been spared that story so far.

“I wasn’t gone that long!”

“It was hours!”

“You see now why I had to beat that guy!”

“Enough!” Shepard shouted at them, “I’m so tired of hearing you two go on about the fucking meatball incident!”

“It doesn’t matter anyway,” Miranda interjected, “It wasn’t something someone could have done to Shepard when no one was watching. It was subtle, a misdiagnosis here and there leading to a treatment plan that was actually going to kill her over time.”

“What?!”

“Or if not kill her, paralyze her forever. Shepard, you’re fine! I already have you back on the right track. Don’t worry yourself over nothing.”

“That’s my cold, hard bitch!”

“Jack…” Miranda protested tiredly, hand to her forehead.

“Do we know who did it?” Wrex asked, “Whose head can I crush?”

“No,” Jack answered, “But the cheerleader and I are about to go follow a lead.”

“I’m not a cheerleader!”

“Don’t let me hold you back,” Shepard told them. She nodded and they knowingly nodded back. It was as good as a direct command to go right away.

“We’ll get on it,” Miranda confirmed.

Jack started walking out of the room, “Let’s go get ‘em, babe!”

Miranda followed her out, “Don’t call me that either!”

The hallways felt tight as they hurried through them. Miranda walked briskly passed Jack, taking over the lead.

“You don’t know where we’re going,” she said.

“Yeah, well, I like going first,” Jack said. Miranda rolled her eyes.

One of Jack’s students had picked up a tip that Hansen’s office should be searched. But then, anyone could have guessed that from taking one look at him.

They left the hospital to take a transport over to what had been made into offices for visiting officials. The building had been quickly converted from an old library. It was covered in burn marks, but still structurally sound. Neither of the women talked on the journey over.

Miranda had set up an office there too, so it provided the perfect cover for their mission. Check out the office, grab any relevant data, get out! All they knew from the tip was that Hansen’s computer had some files related to Cerberus. It wasn’t a strong lead, but it was all they had.

“This is it,” Miranda told Jack when they stood outside the right door. She held her ear to it, ready to turn the handle.

“Move,” Jack said.

“Give me a minute!”

“No, out of the way.”

“Jack!”

“Miranda! See? That’s how you sound. Outta my way.”

She bumped Miranda over with her hips and put her hands to her temples. Her whole head began to glow, and she closed her eyes.

“What are you doing?” Miranda asked.

Jack shushed her.

“Okay,” she said after a bit, “No one is in there, let’s go in.”

She opened the door and led the way. Miranda closed it behind them.

“What was that?” she asked.

“Something you can’t do.”

Miranda huffed but didn’t give Jack the satisfaction of follow-up questions. Despite her burning curiosity.

“Don’t make a mess!” Miranda chided as Jack started picking up and examining the contents of a shelf. “We need to leave everything exactly the way it is.”

“Not if we get enough evidence to nail this guy.”

“What? No. That’s not how anything works. Put that down!”

“Make me.”

Miranda glowered at Jack, “You are a child.”

“Better a child than a cunt,” Jack said, smiling.

“Yeah, well… you’re both. So…”

“Brilliant retort, cheerleader.”

“I told you not to call me that,” Miranda grumbled to herself, turning to examine the computer.

She sat in the desk chair and typed a code into her omni-tool. Jack stopped what she was doing to watch Miranda scan the monitor.

“What are you doing?” Jack asked her.

“Something you can’t,” Miranda smirked.

“Ha… Ha.”

Miranda’s omni-tool pinged.

“We’ve got something here.”

Jack hurried over to her side and hunched over to look at the screen with Miranda.

“Look familiar?” Jack scoffed scathingly. The hidden files they were looking at contained correspondence on Cerberus letterhead.

Miranda was skimming the text.

“Actually… yeah,” she admitted, “I peaked in on this project before I left.”

“Not that I care, but what was it about?”

“It’s an archive. Top secret stuff. I only saw it once, contained pretty much everything Cerberus knew about different topics. Things like AI and dark energy. I never got another look because the Illusive Man started to question my loyalty and revoked my access.”

“So… nothing that concerns Shepard’s shady doctors?”

“Not that I can see. Unless there’s a connection here that isn’t obvious.”

“But this is still good, right? We found something?”

“Yes, Jack,” Miranda responded impatiently. She was trying to make sense of it all.

She shouted once she read the next page, “Yes!”

“Spill.”

“He’s got the archive!” Miranda cheered.

“Download it then, and let’s get the fuck out of here!”

“The main databank isn't here, but I know where,” Miranda said, saving the data on her Omni-tool.

“Hurry up!”

“Wait! …Okay… I’ve got it!”

The door handle turned as Miranda stood up.

“Fuckballs,” Jack cursed.

*                       *                       *                       *                       *                       *

Kaidan sprinted through the halls, aware of only one thing; 4th floor, room 8B.

His breath was hard like the kick of his boots against the tile as he ran, closer to her with every step. Exuberant joy mounted with each second and made it all feel unreal. This wasn’t life. This couldn’t be life.

He knew this moment would come, and he didn’t. There was always that voice. That shrill cry inside him that said he’d lost her forever. The same one that wailed they’d be stranded on Pragia forever. That part of him was wrong once, and it was wrong again.

Shepard was here, and she was alive.

Liara had gotten the news once they were closer to the Local Cluster. The journey across the universe had been rough, unlike anything they were used to. No relays meant long distances in FTL. The fear of fuel running low, the weeks at high speed, and the crumbling state of the Milky Way made the couple months it took to get back feel like years. It had been a relief to the whole crew when they’d docked in the half-burnt, remote mountain town.

Kaidan didn’t stick around long enough to share in the new spirit.

3rd floor. Maybe he should’ve taken the elevator.

His chest pounded visibly as he flew up the steps. He almost tripped as he flung open the 4th floor door.

Almost there. Oh God, he was almost there.

A doctor tried to stop him, startled by the man barreling towards him, “You! Slow down!”

Kaidan, gently, flung that doctor into a wall. No one was getting in his way.

It made a large crash and a scene. No one else tried to stop him.

A large red figure, Urdnot Wrex, appeared in one of the doorways. Kaidan changed direction.

“Do you know who that is?!” Wrex shouted down the hall at the baffled staff, waving Kaidan towards him.

They practically crashed into each other, and Wrex clapped him on the shoulder as he steadied them. Kaidan nodded enthusiastically and panted hard as his hello. Wrex nodded back and ushered him into the room.

Kaidan’s eyelids felt thick, and he struggled to breathe as each inhale smashed into the next.

There she was.

That little red head stood out bright against the dull colors of thin blankets and thick machinery.

[Next Chapter]