#sorvus

so

Soren feeling like Corvus isn’t giving him what he needs from a partner. For lack of a better word, he needs somebody who will match his freak. Someone who will match his passion for his partner and be as obsessed with him as he is with his partner. Soren realizes that just being in love with Corvus isn’t enough to make it work.

TW : none (?), also spoilers for what will happen later in the fic (but that might be subject to change, we'll see) Author's Note : A bit about those ramblings - I do little to no beta read on those so excuse any and all mistakes, I use all my braincells to write the actual fanfic that those rambles here. The ramblings will be incorporated into the later chapters one way on another, I'll probably rewrite them, make them longer and better and just put them in the story as needed. I'm posting them now cuz I need my genius to be known.

They saw each other for the last time on the day that the Kingdom of Katolis, as they knew it, fell. The rallied human armies were leaving tomorrow morning. Viren had declared an all out war on the dragons and elves with the vast majority of the Pentarchy following his lead. Ezran was gone, safely smuggled by Soren to safety, presumably already reunited with his family thanks to Phoe-Phoe. Corvus would leave before sunrise with the rest of the escapees for Duren to hopefully gain a favor from the young queen. And Soren... Soren would ride for Xadia to kill the Dragon Prince. Chance was that the two would come face-to-face on the battlefield very soon. On the opposite sides. The note was delivered to his windowsill before daybreak. ‘The woods. Please.’ Corvus couldn’t show his face inside the city walls, not while Viren wore the crown. His name was spoken alongside titles such as ‘traitor’, ‘conspirator’... If he were to step inside the castle, he wouldn’t make it back out. So, as night fell and the kingdom was shrouded in darkness, Soren slipped away unnoticed. He raced down the same path he first took all those years ago, past the city gates, off the beaten track the moment the uneven towers of the castle disappeared from view, following trails left behind by wild game, deep into the woods where the trees grew so thick that little moonlight found the forest floor. He found that tree he nearly fell from and, with it, he found Corvus, waiting for him. For a moment neither spoke. Then, the tracker got straight to business. “Come with me.” Soren closed his eyes, a sad smile pulling his lips down in a frown. “...I knew that’s why you wanted to see me.” “I wanted to see you because I wanted to see you.” the man shot back. “...but, yes, that, too.” The knight didn’t know what to say so he laughed. “You’re still a terrible liar, you know that?” “I’m not lying.” He hesitated, his mouth growing impossibly dry. “...I can’t.” “Listen.” Corvus stepped forward. “We’re leaving tonight, come with us...” “No!” Soren shook his head. “My father-” “I don’t give a shit about your father.” “...I do?” it sounded more like a question than a statement. “I care about him.” “You shouldn’t.” “I know, but my sister...” he paused to swallow back the tears. “My sister needs me.” “So do I.”

The words hung between them for a long moment, the silence deafening. Soren’s shoulders dropped and he found himself looking away from his companion. “Soren.” Corvus tried to catch his gaze again. “It’s true.” “I know.” “Then come with me.” “Corvus, please, I can’t.” “You can.” “I can’t!” his voice broke completely at the end. “I can’t! It’s not that easy, Corvus!” He tried to hold back the ugly, wretched sobs from tearing their way out of his chest. Tears rolled freely down his cheeks now – he reached up to wipe them away. “I’m so tired of having to choose sides!” he yelled, voice echoing in the small clearing, bouncing off of the surrounding trees and underbrush. “No matter what I’ll do, no matter what I choose, I lose!” He looked up at Corvus, visibly torn, bottom lip quivering with emotion. “If I stay with my father, I lose you. If I leave with you...” his voice dissolved to something barely above a whisper as he raked his fingers through his hair harshly. “...I lose the only family I have left.” The tracker didn’t really know what to say. He had no answer so he reached for the man, awkwardly and stiffly, but still. Soren stepped into the embrace without hesitation, hiding his face against Corvus’ shoulder, his whole frame shaking. “I don’t want to fight you.” he mumbled into the man’s shirt. “I-I can’t fight you.” Corvus stayed silent, simply hugging him tighter, one hand placed on the small of his back, the other between his shoulder blades, pulling him as close as humanly possible. He could have said that it was going to be fine, but that would be a lie and he was done lying to Soren. After a long moment the knight stepped back, pulling away from him, the pale moonlight catching in his eyes as the tears still rolling down his face as he glanced back the way he came. “I know what you’re gonna say.” he choked out, voice hoarse. “I know that I can’t save him or change his mind, I know that.” He stared down at the moss carpet at his feet, rubbing his eyes with the heels of his hands before looking up at Corvus once more. “A-and I’m not sure that there’s anything left to save, anyway.” he stuttered, voice cracking like he was about to break again. “But Claudia, she’s different.” “Soren...” “No, listen!” there was this desperate conviction in his tone that made Corvus’ heart lurch. “She isn’t him, she’s different! She has to be!” “Soren, no.” the tracker interrupted. “I want to believe that, too, for your sake, but she won’t listen!” “Don’t.” “I know you love her.” Corvus rubbed a hand across the back of his neck before meeting Soren’s eyes again. “But from what I’ve seen, she follows your father without question.” “Then you’ve seen wrong!” he shot back. “You don’t know her!” “I know enough.” he retaliated. “And dare I say that, by the looks of it, you’re the one who doesn’t know her!” Soren stammered, taken by surprise. “I know that she stood by and did nothing while your father imprisoned a child, who also happens to be her friend! I know that she’s following him into a senseless war that we could easily avoid!” Corvus listed off on in hand. “And I know for a fact that if you try to stand in Viren’s way, she will choose him over you.” The knight stared at him with bewilderment plastered across his face, a look that soon gave way to this profound look of grief. “...she’s all I have.” “No.” Corvus was quick to shut that down. “You still have me. And Ezran and Opeli and so, so many other people!” But Soren shook his head again. “If I leave, I’ll abandon her.” “By the gods, you need to stop sacrificing yourself-!” “I can’t!” “Why not?” “Because someone has to!” he roared back. “Everyone else has given up on us! I have to try, I have to try and save her!” “Would she do the same for you?"