#admin jello

“I’m going out boys!” You grab your purse and slip on your boots. Sam looks confused, “What for? We just finished up this hunt.”

“Yeah Y/N…I thought we were going to go out and celebrate?” Dean almost looks offended.

“I just need some air…I will be back later.” You pull your light jacket around you and start walking down the sidewalk, enjoying the cool night air. It helped clear your head a little, at least you weren’t climbing the walls anymore.

“Y/N?” The flutter of the air wasn’t enough of a warning and you nearly jump out of your skin and stab him at the same time. Cas is standing in your path, “Jesus man, you almost gave me a heart attack.”

You clutch your chest, trying to get your breathing under control. Cas grips your shoulder, trying to steady you, “Are you alright, Y/N?”

“Yeah Cas…What the hell man?”

“You were walking by yourself…That isn’t safe for…”

“So help me Cas if you say because I’m a girl, I will kick your ass.” Cas swallows hard and stands there with his hands in his pockets. You sigh, taking pity on the angel, “C’mon, walk with me.”

Cas smiles with his lips pulled tight and falls into step with you, “How are you Y/N?”

You have to chuckle at his attempt to be social, “I’m fine Cas, how are you?”

“Well, it has been busy what with you three and the impending destruction. But I’m starting to find that it is just another day to you.”

“Ha…Yeah, it is kinda like that.” You shrug, inhaling the cool air, looking up into the clear sky.

“What are you seeing Y/N?”

“It is pretty, and peaceful…” You look down and he is watching you.

“Where are we going Y/N?” He tone was perplexed, unsure. You stop, turning to him, “I don’t know…Where do you want to go Cas?”

He looks off for a second, debating, then he firmly sets his face, “What about the second date?”

You smirk, trying to hide your amusement, “What about it?”

“Would you like to go…with me?” He watches you expectantly.

“Cas, I would love to but everything is closed.” Your watch read midnight.He squints, thinking, “Is it necessary to go somewhere?”

“Not really, but you don’t have a place and my place is a nasty motel room with two stinky ass men.”

“Oh…Well where have you gone?”

You sigh, thinking, “Movies, dinner again, a museum, umm…my favorite was probably the zoo.”

“Ok.” Cas grips your wrist and before you can question it, there is a pull in your gut, the world rushes and blurs, there is a snap of air, and suddenly your knees buckle. The only thing that keeps you on your feet is Cas holding your arm. You look around in the dark, there are paths winding in and out of shrubbery. There are a few lampposts emitting a soft glow, “Cas? Where are we?”

“A zoo.”

You can’t help the giddy excitement that replaces the initial shock, “Are you serious?”

“Yes…” He frowns, “Was this not okay?”

You rub his upper arm, “This is great…I guess we don’t have to worry about getting caught when you can just zap us outta here.”

There is a low growl from nearby. You walk up a path, mesmerized, temporarily forgetting that Cas is with you. At a railing, you lean against it, looking down into an enclosure with lions wandering around in the bottom. They are gorgeous, strong, the cubs are wrestling. They are adorable, and you cover your mouth to suppress the giggle. Cas is standing next to you, a half smile across his face as he watches you.

“This is great!”  You know your voice is high pitched but you can’t help it because baby animals are your downfall. Another noise demands your attention as you move to the next enclosure, Cas follows.

You are almost through the African animals section when you feel fingers lace through yours. You look up into a rather embarrassed and unsure face. You squeeze his hand reassuringly and drag him over towards the giraffes.

You watch them eat from a tree, “They are odd looking things, huh Cas?”

“Did you know that they have less bones in their neck than a duck?” He is watching them stretch to reach a high branch.

“Really?”

“Yes…What do you want to see next Y/N?”

“I don’t know…What is your favorite animal Cas?”

“I’ve always enjoyed watching Koala bears. They are very passive creatures.”

You can feel the smile, as you walk backwards, pulling him with both hands, “C’mon then.”

He walks shoulder to shoulder with you through the zoo. Sometimes you got sidetracked, and pulled him the path to see an animal. You would apologize band he would shake his head, “Time does not mean much to an angel, Y/N.”

Eventually you make it to the koalas and Cas is watching them slowly eat and climb a tree. A slow smile crosses his face, his mouth slightly open as he watches the little gray ball of fur. There is something so childlike, so damn innocent about his expression. He’s beautiful, and that is the word too. You had been around the block and knew the difference. Some guys are hot, like ‘want to shove you against a wall now’ hot. Other guys are double takers, like when they pass you and you wonder if someone like that had just walked by so you have to take another look. There is adorable, like perpetually seeing a baby animal over and over again. That wasn’t Cas. You could watch Cas, because Cas watches everything like he is seeing it for the first time.  It was poetic, it was beautiful.

You lean your head against his arm, “What do you see Cas?”

“The bear.” His answer is precise, matter of fact.

You chuckle, “I meant like do you just see the bear or…”

“Everything. How it all fits together, the balance, how intricate and small it all…” You had stood on tiptoe and kissed his cheek, causing him to stop mid sentence. You realized what you’ve done and then blush, furiously. It had been a reaction, “Cas…I-I-I di-”

You try to push away, try to take a step back, but Cas grabs both of your wrists, holding you firmly in place. His face is clouded in confusion, “Why are you turning red, Y/N?”

“I-I-I…” You can’t form words. You hadn’t known you were going to do it until you did, and now you were royally screwed. You pull your hands away and cover your face, trying to walk away.

“I see you Y/N.” You stop in your tracks. Spinning to face him. His head is tilted and bright blue eyes watch your movements.

“W-What?” You cross your arms around your stomach, hugging yourself. You are unsure, teetering on the edge of mixed emotions.

“You asked what I see. I see you…How much you fight, how you care. With everything that the world has thrown at you, you are still strong. You are a very unique and beautiful human Y/N.”

You scoff, trying to hide the one tear that threatens to spill, “This is not how a second date is supposed to go.”

“Is that a bad thing?”

You can’t help but laugh, “No, you big dork.”

You close the gap between you two quickly, fisting his tie, pulling yourself onto tiptoes and crashing your lips against his. You wrap your free hand around the back of his neck, pushing yourself against him. His surprise is evident as he stands there motionless for a moment. But then one of his arms firmly wraps around you waist and his other hand cups your cheek.

You stop first, after all the angel could have gone on forever. You rest your forehead against his chest, trying to steady your breath. Cas holds you there against him. You lick your lips, and then swallow hard, composing yourself before glancing up shyly. Cas is watching you, looking at you like you are the only thing he ever wants to look at. You feel the heat creep into your cheeks again. Cas traces the flush with his fingertips, “You are red again.”

You try to laugh it off, “Yeah, that seems to happen a lot around you.”

He furrows his brows, “And is that…?”

“It’s a good thing Cas…” You smile softly, stepping up to quickly peck him on the lips again before taking his hand and pulling him along, “Let’s go finish looking at the big cats.”

You both walked and talked. The black sky turned to a dark purple and your breath fogged against the oncoming cold front. When you shivered slightly, Cas stopped, “Here Y/N.”

He let go of your hand long enough to slip off his trench coat and help you into it. It didn’t fight off much of the cold, but it took away the nip of the air.  You snuggle your way into it, wrapping it around yourself. The arms are too long and your fingertips just barely reach the cuff.  You lace your fingers back into Cas’ and you catch the smile that the small action produces.

You are leaning on Cas’ shoulder, watching the red pandas when the horizon turns a faint pink. You panic as you realize the time, “Shit Cas…I gotta get back. I’m surprised I don’t have like fifty missed calls. I told them I was just taking a walk.”

Cas’ face falls a little and he nods. There is a rush of air, your stomach feels like you just did the big hill on a rollercoaster. Then suddenly there is solid ground again, Cas holding you tightly so you don’t fall back from the impact. You are a block away from the motel.

Cas is watching your face intently, expression neutral. Probably waiting for a reaction, maybe checking to see if you are okay.

“I had a lot of fun Cas…”, You look down, a little unsure, “Actually that is a huge understatement. I loved tonight.”

You glance at his face under your lashes and he is beaming. You can feel that damn smile play right at your heart. The honesty and pureness of it made you emotional on a deep level that you hadn’t touched in a very long time.

Cas tilts his head, running his hand along your cheek, “I’ve never seen you smile like this.”

You exhale heavily, trying not to laugh uncomfortably, attempting to fight the impulse to hide your face, “That’s because I’m happy Cas.”

His thumb strokes over your jaw, and then his expression becomes thoughtful, “Y/N? Would it be acceptable if I kissed you again?”

You couldn’t think straight enough to form words so you nod. Cas leans down to you, but hesitates a hairsbreadth away from your lips. You close the remaining space. Cas holds you tight, like he never wants to let you go, and everything about the kiss is so raw but incredibly innocent.  He had no ulterior motive, there wasn’t a hand creeping up your shirt that you had to shove away. There was nowhere to be, no rush. It was perfect.

He pulls back so that the tips of your noses touch, allowing you to catch your breath. Your fingers play with the lapels of his suit as you close your eyes and lean your forehead against his. You stay like that for what feels like forever, until you are steady enough to stand back on your own. For probably the first time, you don’t want to say goodbye, you don’t want to go back to your room and hide and worry if the date was good enough. You didn’t want to get away from him. You wanted it to stay like this.

“Your phone is buzzing Y/N.” You reach into your jeans and sure enough it is vibrating with a text from Sam.

New case. We got a lead.

You shake your head, frustrated, just replying with an okay,  “Cas…I gotta go. I’m sorry…”

“I don’t understand why you are apologizing.”

“Because I want to stay.” You whisper. Cas looks shocked. But the shock turns to happiness, the edges of his eyes crinkling, “So this was a good second date?”

“Yes.”

He grabs your hand excitedly, “Does that mean there will be another?”

You start to laugh, “I really hope so.”

He looks past you, towards the motel, “Goodbye for now Y/N.”

“Bye Cas…” You turn to walk down the sidewalk but stop mid-step, “Oh shit. Cas?”

“Yes?”

You strip his coat and hand it back, “Thanks for letting me borrow this.”

“You are welcome.” He disappears in a flutter, the last thing you see is that goofy ass smile that makes your heart skip. You try to calm yourself down on the short walk back. Try to wipe the ridiculous grin that is plastered on your face away.

You open the door, knowing what is awaiting you on the other side. Dean and Sam both look up immediately, even though the clock is barely after six. Dean smirks, “Thought you were going for a walk?”

You go to the coffeepot, pouring yourself a cup, “I did.”

“So an all night walk is totally normal. Nothing else happened?”

You lean against the counter and shrug, “Not that I can recollect. It was just a nice night.”

You knew Dean had a bag full of comments and jests that he wanted to run through but Sam cleared his throat. Dean stopped talking, settling for a suggestive wink to which shook your head at, rolling your eyes.

The demon smiles, raises his hands and steps back. His jaw unhinged and a black cloud smokes out of the man who collapses onto the pavement. Sam uncocks the gun and leans back against the seat, exhaling heavily.

The man outside begins yelling, kneeling on the pavement, “Oh my god! Did I do this?”

Sam regains his wits, breathing heavily, “Dad?”

He shoves his father lightly, who is unresponsive, “Dad?”

Sam attempts to look over his shoulder, the pain almost unbearable, “Ah…Jen? …Dean?”

Jen is on the floor, the crushed car trapping her on the ground. Dean’s head was smashed against the window, blood drenched their clothes and covered the seats. Neither of them were able to respond to Sam’s pleas.

“Dean? Dean!” Sam yells.

No one would respond, the only noise was the rumbling engine of the semi. Sam yelled out the window, “Call 911! Now dammit!”

He got out of the car as the trucker ran to his semi. Sam had to climb out of the window, the door was jammed shut. He broke the back window and lifted Dean out and onto the pavement, grunting because of the weight. Sirens were starting to wail in the distance. When the first ambulance arrives, Sam runs over, stumbling,“Help!”

The paramedic grabs ahold of Sam, “Sir we need you to calm down and come with us.”

They usher him towards one of the ambulances, and others started looking over the other three. They got Dean onto a stretcher,

“Significant passenger side intrusion. Unresponsive. BP is 180 over 60, heart rate 95, 95. We are going to need to cut the girl on the floor out.”

Sam was struggling, “Tell me if they’re okay?”

A woman yelled at him, “You have to stay still! You may injure yourself further if you keep moving.”

“Are they even alive? Tell me if they are even alive.” Sam saw the saw begin to cut into the Impala’s door in an attempt to get Jen out, but the door of the ambulance closed on him and pulled away.

Jen’s POV:

Beep…Beep…Beep. I felt like I was underwater. Waves crashed through my ears, whooshing. I tried to open my eyes, but waves pushed me under again, deeper. The more I fought, the farther under I went. I was drowning. I fought, couldn’t move, couldn’t breathe.

At the hospital Sam was cleared within a few hours with a mild concussion and a few lacerations. Other than looking and feeling like shit, he was fine. Walking up to a nurse at the wing’s desk, “Hey, I, uh, came in here with two guys and a woman.”

She looked up and smiled, “You were in the car crash?”

“Yeah. Where are they?”

“Are you next of kin?”

“Yeah. That’s my dad, brother and uh, uh… sister-in-law.”

She looked down at her files, flipping a couple papers, “Your father is resting. He had a broken shoulder, broken collarbone, a cracked hip and a concussion. Other than needing a few stitches and a cast he should be fine. Um…”

She trailed off, flipping through files, “What about my brother?”

“Does your sister-in-law have any other family? If she does, we need to contact them.”

“No. Just Dean and us. What about them?”

She hesitated, “Let me get a doctor.”

She ran off and Sam was left there not knowing what the hell was happening. A few minutes later the nurse returned, trailed by a tall, dark haired man in a lab coat, “Hi, I am Dr. James. The nurse said that you are next of kin on the car crash?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Let’s go sit down.”

“I don’t want to sit down!” Sam’s voice was raising, “I want to know what the hell is going on!”

The doctor looked around nervously and sighed, “Come with me, son.”

He ushered Sam to a nearby room, “The girl should be fine eventually. Physically she is okay. Four cracked ribs, fractured wrist, there are a few cracks in her cheek bone. The worst of it is the internal bruising and the inside of her throat and esophagus have lacerations, but it will heal. The biggest thing is that she isn’t waking up. If she wakes up, she should recover.”

Sam nodded, “What about my brother?”

“Your brother is a different story. His injuries are similar to hers. Kidneys are really damaged, time will heal that. What I am really worried about is the head trauma. There are early signs of a cerebral edema.”

“What does that mean?”

The doc hesitated, “Most people with his condition haven’t even survived this long. He is fighting, but we need to be realistic, he may never wake up. Right now he is on a respirator and we are monitoring his condition.”

“No offense doc, you don’t know my brother.”

“Well, all we can do is hope for the best. Which leads me to my next question. Are your brother and your sister-in-law ex-military? Or what do they work in?”

“Why?”

“There have excessive scarring, bullet wounds and old injuries that have never completely healed.”

Sam tried to dodge answering that question, “Yeah. Can I see him?

The doctor notices but doesn’t push the issue, “Sure, this way.”

In another room Dean sits up suddenly, stretching his jaw. He looks down and is only wearing a white t-shirt and blue hospital pants, and nothing else. He gets up and slowly walks out into the hallway,

“Jen?… Sam?… Dad? Anybody?”, His voice is hoarse. Dean walks and finds the stairs, staggering down them, wincing. At the bottom there is a nurse’s station, “Excuse me… Hi. I, uh, i think I was in a car accident, my dad and my brother and my, I guess, girlfriend, I just need to find them.”

The nurse doesn’t even look up.

“Hello?” Dean snaps his fingers in front of her face. She doesn’t flinch.

“Shit.” Dean runs back up the stairs, panicked. He keeps running through doorways, “Shit. Shit. Shit.”

Finally he comes into a room where Sam is standing with the doctor. Dean looks past him and sees his body lying on the bed with a breathing machine and crap hooked up and beeping, “Sammy! You look good. Considering.”

Sam is looking at Dean’s body, “Oh, no.”

“Man, tell me you can hear me. How’s dad? Is he okay? Jen? Come on, you’re the psychic. Give me some ghost whispering or something!”

Dean is standing right in front of Sam, jumping around. Sam never responds. A doctor entered, “Your father’s awake. You can go see him if you like.”

Dean sighed, relieved, “Thank god.”

Sam jutted his chin at Dean, “Is there any change?”

“No, his condition hasn’t changed.”

“So he won’t wake up?”

“Like I said the head trauma is severe. There is a very realistic chance that he is never going to wake up.”

Dean scoffed, “Oh, screw you, Doc, I’m waking up. Come on, Sam. Go find some hoodoo priest to lay some mojo on me. Sam? Dammit.”

Sam never responds and leaves the room. Dean follows him to John’s room. John lies in a hospital bed, arm slung and casted. Awkwardly, he pulls a card out of his wallet, “Here. Give them my insurance.”

Sam took the card, reading it and laughing, “Elroy McGillicutty?”

“And his two loving sons. So, what else did the doctor say about Dean?”

“Nothing. Look. The doctors won’t do anything, then we’ll have to, that’s all. I don’t know, I’ll find some hoodoo priest and lay some mojo on him.”

Dean smirked. John continued talking, “We’ll look for someone.”

Sam nodded, “Yeah.”

“But Sam, I don’t know if we’re gonna find anyone.”

“Why not? I found that faith healer before.”

“Alright, that was, that was one in a million. ”

Sam started getting pissed, “So what? Do we just sit here with our thumbs up our ass?”

“No, I said we’d look. All right? I’ll check under every stone. ..” John pauses and then asks, “Where’s the Colt?”

Sam started yelling, “Your son is dying, and you’re worried about the Colt?”

“We’re hunting this demon, and maybe it’s hunting us too. That gun may be our only card.”

“It’s in the trunk. They dragged the car to a yard off of I-83.”

John started to get worried, “All right. You’ve gotta clean out that trunk before some junk man sees what’s inside.”

“I already called Bobby. He’s like an hour out, he’s gonna tow the Impala back to his place. ”

“Alright. You, you go meet up with Bobby. You get that Colt, and you bring it back to me. And you watch out for hospital security.”

Sam rolled his eyes, “I think I’ve got it covered. ”

John hands a piece of paper that he has written on from the table next to him, “Here. I made a list of things I need, have Bobby pick them up for me. ”

Sam started reading down the list, “Acacia? Oil of Abramelin? What’s this stuff for?”

“Protection.” John answered almost too quickly.

Sam got uncomfortable, “Hey, Dad? You know, the demon, he said he had plans for me, and children like me. Do you have any idea what he meant by that?”

“No, I don’t.”

Sam leaves, shutting the door behind him. Dean stares at his dad with his arms crossed, “Well, you sure know something. But apparently you ain’t sharing.”

Dean leaves, following his brother down the hall. Sam is striding for the exit when a nurse comes running down the hall after them.

“Sir!” She yells, Sam doesn’t notice.

“Sir!” She catches up, running through Dean and grabbing Sam’s shoulder. He turns, she is breathing heavily, “The…girl, she is awake.”

Dean whips around, “Jen?”

Sam follows the nurse down the hall to the room adjacent from Dean’s. When they enter, they see Jen struggling against the hospital staff, confused and scared. They were trying to calm her down. She was pulling at the oxygen mask that was over her face.

“Dean!” She yelled, hysterical, choking on her own breath, her voice strained and hoarse. “Dean!”

She shoved one of the hospital attendants backward, they pushed her back toward the bed harder. Sam ran up and pulled them back,

“That’s enough.” They gave him a skeptical look and then backed away.

“Jen?” Her eyes wouldn’t focus and she was terrified, “Hey, Jen, it is okay. You are fine.”

He finally saw the recognition in her face, her voice was raspy, “Sam? What the hell? Where’s Dean?”

“Hey, hey, hey you need to calm down.” The hospital staff was still hovering and she looked at them warily. Sam saw her starting and turned to them,

“Guys, give us a minute, she’ll be fine.” The hospital staff backed away slowly.

Jen’s POV:

Beep. Beep. I fought again against the force on my chest, the darkness not letting my eyes open. Nothing but black. I pushed again. Again, and again. Finally I saw bright lights, something moved. I didn’t know where I was, there was something on my face. I started to panic. A hand pushed me back, “Easy, easy. Jennifer it is okay.”

Fuck that shit. I started struggling, coughing “Get away from me.”

More hands started pushing me back, hell no. I fought harder, ripping what was on my face off, “Jennifer, you need to calm down.”

“Dean!” I yelled, choking, “Dean!”

Where the hell was he? Everything was fuzzy, no defined shapes, the lights hurt my eyes, my throat was on fire, “Dean!”

A voice spoke and the hands pushing me down vanished.

“Jen?” Who the hell, get the fuck away from me. Hands grabbed my shoulders. “Hey, Jen, it is okay. You are fine.”

I tried to focus. I looked hard, listening “Sam? What the hell?”

I looked around, people in lab coats hovered behind him. Sam spoke again,

“Hey, hey, hey you need to calm down.” He turned and let go of my shoulders, speaking to them. I didn’t hear the words. Sam turned back to me, “You are in the hospital Jen.”

“Hospital? We were just in the cabin. The…” I trailed off realizing there were other people in the room. I looked around, the cabin, the demon. Then Impala and headlights, shit, “Dean?”

Sam looked down, “Jen…”

“What’s going on? Where’s Dean?” I started to panic, fighting his grip. “Where the hell is he?”

One of the nurses came up, “I’m sorry but we are going to have to sedate her to calm her down before she injures herself further.”

I got angry, slipping out of Sam’s grip, “Fuck off, I’m fine. You need to tell…”

I felt the darkness coming back, “ …Dean.”

I couldn’t see anything, nothing except black.

Dean had watched his brother try to comfort Jen. She was so drugged she didn’t know up from down, but at least she was awake. When the hospital staff sedated Jen, Dean stayed there, watching her sleep. Sam headed off to get that stuff from Bobby.

When Sam arrived at the junkyard to meet Bobby he caught sight of what was left of the Impala, it was nothing but a stack of metal,

“Oh man, Dean is gonna be pissed. ”

“Look, Sam. This… this just ain’t worth a tow. I say we empty the trunk, sell the rest for scrap.”

Sam shook his head, putting his hands in his pockets, “No. Dean would kill me if we did that. When he gets better he’s gonna want to fix this.”

“There’s nothing to fix. The frame’s a pretzel, and the engine’s ruined. There’s barely any parts worth salvaging.”

“Listen to me, Bobby. If there’s only one working part, that’s enough. We’re not just going to give up on…”

Bobby spoke quietly, understanding , “Okay. You got it. ”

Sam pulled the sheet that John had written out of his pocket, “Here, uh, Dad asked for you to get this stuff for him.”

Bobby read the list, “What’s John want with this?”

“Protection from the demon?”

Bobby gave Sam a look, “What is it Bobby?”

“Oh, nothing, it’s just, uh - ”

“Bobby? What’s going on?” Sam asked sternly.

Back in the hospital Dean was in John’s room, pacing, getting angrier at his dad’s inability to act, “Come on, Dad. You’ve gotta help me. I’ve gotta get better, I’ve gotta get back in there. I mean, you haven’t called a soul for help. You haven’t even tried. Aren’t you going to do anything? Aren’t you even going to say anything? I’ve done everything you have ever asked me. Everything. I have given everything I’ve ever fucking had. And you’re just going to sit there and you’re going to watch me die? I mean, what the hell kind of father are you?”

John was just sitting there, looking through papers, Dean huffed,  "Well fine then, if your gonna be such a chatty cathy…“

Dean left, he was heading back down the hall to see if he could overhear anything more about Jen. She had slept after being sedated, and from what he heard, she was healing quickly. As he passed a window he noticed that it was dark outside, the hospital staff was few and far between. When he was almost to Jen’s room he heard something moving inside. Peaking in, he saw that Jen was struggling with the tubes, swinging her bare feet to the floor, "C'mon Jen, now is not the time to be a stubborn ass.”

But of course, she couldn’t see him, let alone hear him. She grabbed the pole with the IV and used it for support as she headed for the door, “C'mon, babe, get your ass back in the bed. Pease.”

As she walked past Dean saw the extent of her injuries. Bruises everywhere, glass cuts all over her face, jaw swollen. She wasn’t able to stand upright, and her hand that had been stitched before was now in a hard cast. At the door she looks into the hallway for a beat, then sneaks across, gimping, leaning hard on the pole. Then opening and closing the door behind her. Dean followed, watching. Once in his room Jen grabbed the medical chart at the bottom of the bed, reading. He saw a couple of tears slide down her face and he wasn’t sure if it was the pain or what she had just read. It was weird watching her look at his body when he wasn’t there.

The ventilator and IVs that Dean’s body was hooked to all went off one side of the bed. Jen crawled on the bed on her side and laid next to him, careful not to bump him. She laid her chin on his shoulder and put her hand over his, and closed her eyes. Just before she fell asleep Jen whispered in his ear, “I love you too, I’m sorry that I didn’t say it before.”

“I know.” Dean smiled a small smile, watching her fall asleep. He leaned up against a wall, arms folded until a whoosh of air in the hallway startles him. Dean walked out of the door and a white shape rushes past him. Dean jumps back and looks over at his body and Jen, “I take it you didn’t see that. ”

Dean sprinted down the hallway, checking rooms. Finally he spots it turning a corner. Dean runs and finds a woman, lying on the floor choking,

“Help!” She chokes out.

Dean can’t do anything to help her, “I need some help in here!” He tries.

“I can’t… breathe! ” She keeps panting and eventually goes silent. Dean watched on helplessly as she died.

A few hours later, right after daybreak Sam arrives back. A nurse, when making her rounds had found Jen and kicked her back into her own room. But being the stubborn, pigheaded person she was, Jen insisted on walking down the hall to John’s’ room the second she heard Sam was back. Sam stalked into his father’s room with a duffel bag, Dean ran after him, trying to get through the veil to him, “Sammy! Tell me you can friggin’ hear me, man, there’s something in the hospital. Now, you’ve got to bring me back and we’ve got to hunt this thing. Sam! Goddamit.”

Jen was sitting in the corner, Dean kneeled in front of her, “Jen! C'mon. There is something here, we need to find it! Jen! Please baby, we gotta get this bastard.”

He stopped when he heard John’s voice, “You’re quiet.”

Sam turns on his father, fuming and throws the bag across the room. Jen flinches at the noise, “Did you think I wouldn’t find out?”

“What are you talking about?” John asks.

“That stuff from Bobby, you don’t use it to ward off a demon, you use it to summon one. You’re planning on bringing the demon here, aren’t you? Having some stupid macho showdown?!”

“I have a plan, Sam”

“That’s exactly my point! Dean is dying, and you have a plan! You know what, you care more about killing this demon than you do saving your own son!”

Jen stood up, wincing, her voice still raw “Both of you, shut the hell up. I am so sick of this shit!”

Dean paces, “No, no, no, guys, don’t do this!”

John looks at Sam, voice raising, “Do not tell me how I feel! I am doing this for Dean. ”

“How? How is revenge going to help him? You’re not thinking about anybody but yourself, it’s the same selfish obsession!”

“You know, it’s funny, I thought it was your obsession too! This demon killed your mother, killed your girlfriend. You begged me to be part of this hunt. Now if you’d killed that damn thing when you had the chance, none of this would have happened. ”

“Dammit John, you don’t know that!” Jen choked out, coughing.He turned at her, “And if you would have done your damn job, my son wouldn’t be dying.”

“Fuck off John!”

Sam raised his voice over Jen, “It was possessing you, Dad, I would have killed you too.”

“Yeah, and your brother would be awake right now. ”

Dean was yelling, “Shut up!”

“Go to hell.” Sam told John

“I should have never taken you along in the first place. I knew it was a mistake, I knew I was wrong …”

“I said SHUT UP!” Dean swings and smacks a glass of water off of the nearby table, it crashes to the floor. Sam, Jen and John look between each other. Dean is totally stunned, “Dude, I full-on Swayze’d that mother.”

Then a pain shot through his stomach. He flickers, there are nurses and doctors running down the hallway. Dean looks after them, “What is it?”

John glances over at Sam, “Something’s going on out there. Go find out.”

But Sam is already behind Jen, who was trying her damndest to get down the hall. The doctors were all running into Dean’s room.

“No!” She screams. There are monitors beeping uncontrollably, doctors are doing CPR on Dean’s body.

“Dean!” Jen rushes into the room. A doctor turns and sees her.

“Get her the hell outta here.”

Two guys grab Jen and pull her back, she struggles, knees one in the groin.

“Dean!” She is crying, fighting harder. Jen feels large arms pull around her chest,

“Guys, I got this.” Jen turns her head to see Sam restraining her.

“Sam?” There are tears in his eyes, she turns to him and he hugs her.

“Still no pulse.” A nurse says.

“Okay, let’s go again, 360.”

“Charging.”

Jen is sobbing. Dean walks up behind them and sees a white, ghostly figure floating over his body.

“You get the hell away from me!” He runs to the thing, and keeps yelling, “I said get back!”

Dean grabs the spirit and latches onto it, struggling hard. It stops and hurls him back against the wall and disappears out of the room. The monitors begin to slow and quiet down. The nurse speaks,

“We have a pulse. We’re back into sinus rhythm.”

Dean runs for the hall, looking to see if the spirit is still there, but it is long gone. He turns beside him to see his brother and his best friend sigh with relief, “Don’t worry, guys. I’m not going anywhere. I’m getting that thing before it gets me. It’s some kind of spirit, but I could grab it. And if I can grab it, I can kill it. ”

Jen and Sam look over to where Dean’s spirit is standing and then look back at each other, confused. Dean breathed heavily, and then heard someone, a girl’s voice, yelling from down the hall,

“Can’t you see me? Why won’t you look at me?” She keeps walking by people, yelling, screaming in their faces, “Somebody talk to me! Say something, please!”

Dean walks to where she is, “Can you see me?”

She looks him up and down, “Yeah. ”

Dean exhales, “Finally…All right, just, uh, calm down. What’s your name?”

“Tessa.”

“Okay, good, Tessa, I’m Dean.”

“What’s happening to me? Am - am I dead?”

Dean laughs uncomfortably, rubbing the back of his neck, “Well…That sort of depends…Where is your room at?”

Tessa guides him down the corridor to a room, they stand outside. Inside there is a woman sitting by the bed, holding Tessa’s hand. Her body is hooked up to tubes and machines, “I don’t understand. I just came in for an appendectomy.”

“Well, I hate to bear bad news, but I think there were some complications. ”

Tessa started to breathe heavily, “It’s just a dream, that’s all. It’s just a very weird, unbelievably vivid dream.”

Dean spoke firmly, “Tessa. It’s not a dream.”

“Then what else could it be?”

Dean paused, sighed, “You ever heard of an out of body experience?”

She scoffed, “What are you, some new agey guy?”

“You see me messing with crystals or listening to Yanni? It’s actually a very old idea. Got a lot of different names: Bilocation, crisis apparition, fetches… I think it’s happening to us. And if it is, it means that we’re spirits of people close to death. ”

Tessa became nervous, “So we’re going to die?”

Dean shook his head, “No. Not if we hold on. Our bodies can get better, we can snap right back in there and wake up. ”

Jen and Sam were in John’s room and they were finishing explaining what happened to Dean. Sam shifted nervously at the last part,

“…Then…” he looked to Jen and swallowed hard, “…We felt something.”

“What do you mean, you felt something?"John asked.

"I mean it felt like, like Dean. Like he was there, just out of eyeshot or something. I don’t know if it’s my psychic thing or what. Jen felt it too… But do you think it’s even possible? I mean, do you think his spirit could be around?”

John nodded his head thoughtfully, “Anything’s possible. What do you think Jen?”

She shrugged, “It felt like he was there, something was there. I know that much.”

“How sure are you that it was Dean.”

Jen sighed, “I’m no expert, but gut feel…ninety, ninety-five percent.”

Sam started rushing out of the room, “Well, there’s one way to find out.”

John yelled after him, “Where are you going?”

“I gotta pick something up. I’ll be back.”

John speaks quickly, “Wait, Sam. I promise I won’t hunt this demon. Not until we know Dean’s okay.”

Jen leaned against the wall as Sam left, “Sure you won’t.”

John shot her a look. Jen wrinkled her nose at him and avoided eye contact. She hated being stuck in this damn hospital. And she didn’t trust John.

Dean and Tessa were walking along the hall by her room, talking “I gotta say, I’m impressed. ”

“With what?” Tessa asked.

“With you. Most people in your spot would be jello right now, but uh, you’re taking this pretty well. Maybe a little better than me. ”

She thought for a moment and then stopped, facing Dean, “Don’t get me wrong. I was pretty freaked at first. But now, I don’t know. Maybe I’m dealing.”

“So you’re okay with dying?”

“No, of course not. I just think, whatever’s gonna happen is gonna happen. It’s out of my control, it’s fate. ”

Dean shook his head, “Huh. Well, that’s bullshit. You always have a choice. You can either roll over and die or you can keep fighting, no matter what…”

Dean was cut off by the PA announcer, “Room 237, code blue. Dr. Kripke to room 237, code blue. ”

Dean took off running up the stairs,

“Where are you going?” Tessa yelled after him. Dean sprinted down the second floor hall. Near the end there is a room with doctors rushing in. They are hitting her with the defibrillator. The same spirit as before hovers over the young girl’s body. It reaches a hand down to her face,

“Get away from her!” He grabs for the spirit but it vanishes. The machines flatline.

“All right, let’s call it. ” A doctor speaks.

“Time of death, five eleven p.m.”

Dean stood there, completely frozen and stunned. He knew exactly what was running around the hospital.

Jen’s POV:

“Jen?” Sam entered my room. “You awake?”

“What the hell else am I gonna do?”

“Good point. I think I have a way to talk to Dean. You want in?”

I jumped up the best I could off my bed. I could feel all my freaking joints cracking. My chest felt like I had been hit by a bus, all the cuts burned, my throat was raw. Everything just hurt, but that was what pain meds were for. I followed Sam into Dean’s room, he had a paper bag, “What’s in the bag?”

Sam closed the door behind me, clutching the bag in his arms. He looks over at Dean, “Hey. I think maybe you’re around. And if you are, don’t make fun of me for this, but um, well, there’s one way we can talk. ”

Out of the bag he pulls a box that says, Mystical Talking Board. I laugh, “A fucking Ouija board? Are you on crack? That shit is, well, bullshit.”

Sam shoots me a look, “Dean? Dean, are you here?”

He sets the board on the ground and sits cross-legged, hands on the pointer, “Sam, seriously? Are we thirteen year old girls at a slumber party? This is how you fuck with people, not…”

Just as I said it the damn pointer slowly moved to ‘YES’

“Son of a bitch.” I said going to stand behind Sam who started laughing, “It’s good to hear from you, man. It hasn’t been the same without you, Dean.“

I just stood there, shaking my head and smiling like an idiot. The pointer begins to move again. ‘H’.'U’

I got excited, "Sam do you think he means hunting?”

The pointer slid to 'YES’.

“Un-freaking real” I said under my breath. Sam talked over me, “It’s in the hospital, what you’re hunting? Do, do you know what it is?”

I kicked him lightly in the back, “One question at a time numb-nuts.”

Sam breathed in and out, “What is it?”

'R’-'E’-'A’-'P’

My stomach dropped, this wasn’t exactly something you could hunt, “Reaper?” I whispered, grabbing John’s journal out of Dean’s effects.

Sam kept at it, “A reaper. Dean. Is it after you?”

The pointer moved to 'YES’

“Shit.” Sam shook his head, “If it’s here naturally, there’s no way to stop it.”

“Sam you just can’t kill death.” I said slowly. 

“Man, you’re, um…No. No, no, no, um, there’s gotta be a way. Dad will know what to do”

Sam starts pacing and I feel like I am going to be sick. You can’t kill something that isn’t alive, you can’t kill death. I slouched down into the chair by Dean’s body clutching the journal, ignoring the pain in my bones that was replaced by different pain: reality. I sat, staring into space. Once I got a grip on myself, I started flipping through the journal again. Sam walked back in, “Dad is gone, he took off.”

“Shit, looks like we are on our own.”

“You said something about Dean almost dying before. What happened?” Jen looked up from the journal.

Sam chuckled uncomfortably, “Yeah we were on this case and Dean’s heart got damaged by a taser that we had jacked up. So he had like weeks to live and I found this faith healer.”

“Why can’t we do that again?”

“Well… it turns out he, well his wife, was binding a reaper and trading one life for another. So… that’s not exactly an option.”

“Oh.” She turned back to the book. Dean watched Jen and Sam flip through page after page, he read over their shoulders, “Thanks for not giving up on me”

Jen turns to another page in the journal, rubbing her eyes because it is well after one in the morning. Dean reads,

“Son of a bitch. ” He says under his breath and turns and stalks down the hall, looking into rooms. Finally he comes to a room where Tessa is sitting on an empty bed. Instead of the hospital clothes she wore earlier, she was dressed in a blue business suit.

“Hi, Dean.” She speaks softly.

Dean’s throat tightens, fighting the rush of sadness and frustration, “You know, you read the most interesting things. For example, did you know that reapers can alter human perception? I sure didn’t. Basically they can make themselves appear however they want. Like, say, uh, a pretty girl. You are much prettier than the last reaper I met. ”

Tessa nodded slowly, “I was wondering when you would figure it out. ”

“I should have known. That whole "accepting fate” rap of yours is far too laid back for a dead chick. But the mother, and the body, I’m still trying to figure that one out. “

"It’s my sandbox, I can make you see whatever I want. ”

Dean turns away and leans on a chair, gripping it tightly, “What, is this like a turn-on for you? What, toying with me?”

“You didn’t give me much choice. You saw my true form and you flipped out. Kinda hurts a girl’s feelings. This was the only way I could get you to talk to me. ”

Dean turned back to her, “Okay, fine. We’re talking. What the hell do you want to talk about?”

Tessa gets up and puts her hand on Dean’s cheek, “How death is nothing to fear. It’s your time to go, Dean. And you’re living on borrowed time already. ”

Dean grabbed her wrist and removed her hand, “Look, I’m sure you’ve heard this before, but… you’ve gotta make an exception, you’ve gotta cut me a break.”

“Stage three: bargaining.”

Dean raised his voice, “I’m serious. My family’s in danger. See, we’re kind of in the middle of this, um, war, and they need me. I have people who need me!”

“The fight’s over.”

“No, it isn’t. ”

“It is for you. Dean. You’re not the first soldier I’ve plucked from the field. They all feel the same. They can’t leave. Victory hangs in the balance. But they’re wrong. The battle goes on without them. ”

“My brother. He could die without me. Jen… I finally have something else…”

“Maybe he will, maybe he won’t. Your friend will move on. She is strong. Nothing you can do about it. It’s an honorable death. A warrior’s death.”

Dean chuckled uncomfortably “I think I’ll pass on the seventy two virgins, thanks. I’m not that into prude chicks anyway.”

Tessa laughed lightly, “That’s funny. You’re very cute. ”

Dan started to yell, choking on his own voice, “There’s no such thing as an honorable death. My corpse is going to rot in the ground and my family is going to die! People that I love are going to die!… No. I’m not going with you, I don’t care what you do.”

She nodded, “Well, like you said. There’s always a choice. I can’t make you come with me. But you’re not getting back in your body. And that’s just facts. So yes, you can stay. You’ll stay here for years. Disembodied, scared, and over the decades it’ll probably drive you mad. Maybe you’ll even get violent.”

“What are you saying?”

“Dean. How do you think angry spirits are born? They can’t let go and they can’t move on. And you’re about to become one. The same thing you hunt. Maybe, your brother and that girl will be the ones that have to get rid of you.”

Dean sits down on the bed, thinking. Tessa sits behind him, watching. “It’s time to put the pain behind you.”

Dean shakes his head, “And go where?”

“Sorry. I can’t give away the big punchline. Moment of truth. No changing your mind later. So what’s it going to be?”

Dean turns to talk to her. As he does the lights flicker, buzzing begins. A few fixtures, snap and pop, bulbs exploding,“What are you doing that for?”

Tessa shook her head, scared, “I’m not doing it. ”

Dean turns, looking for the source. Black smoke comes out of the vent,

“What the hell?” Dean backs away. Tessa begins screaming, “You can’t do this! Get away!”

“What’s happening?” The black smoke pushes its way down Tessa’s throat, she coughs and chokes, doubling over. She turns to Dean, eyes glowing yellow, “Today’s your lucky day, kid.”

The demon places Tessa’s hand on Dean’s forehead. His body convulses, blacking out.

Jen had fallen asleep with her head on Dean’s bed, her hand over his. Sam was sitting in the corner with his laptop, scrolling through website after useless website. He was starting to nod off.

Suddenly Dean jerks upward, choking on the tube in his throat. Jen falls backwards in surprise and Sam jumps up,

“Dean? ” Sam runs to the hallway, yelling “Help! I need help!”

Nurses came running in with the on staff doctor. Jen was trying to push Dean back down and keep him from pulling the tube out of his throat himself. Dean was panicking because the last thing he remembered was the headlights coming through the window of the Impala.

Dr. James was looking over the tests that Dean had undergone all morning, “I can’t explain it. The edema’s vanished. The internal contusions are healed. Your vitals are good. You have some kind of angel watching over you.”

Dean nodded, “Thanks, doc.”

The doctor turned to Jen, “You on the other hand still have cracked ribs and bruising. The good news is that you are healing at a rate I have never seen before. It looks like these injuries happened over a week ago… I don’t understand, but…”

Jen nodded, “So does that mean I get to leave?”

“I will do the paperwork and you guys should be outta here by the end of the day.” Dr. James left, closing the door behind him. Dean turned to Jen and Sam, “So you guys said a Reaper was after me?”

Jen nodded, barely able to hold it together. She had thought she was going to lose him. Dean’s brow furrowed, “How’d I ditch it?”

Sam shrugged, “You got me. Dean, you really don’t remember anything?”

“No. Except this pit in my stomach. Sam, something’s wrong. ”

Jen laughed dryly, “Try living with that feeling all the time.”

Dean looked up at her, she half smiled back. Everyone jumped at the knock on the door. John walked in, “How you feeling, dude?”

Dean swallowed and nodded, “Fine, I guess. I’m alive.”

John sighed, “That’s what matters.”

Sam was angry, “Where were you last night?”

John kept his voice even, “I had some things to take care of. ”

Sam rolled his eyes, “Well, that’s specific. ”

“Come on, Sam. ” Dean said quietly, he didn’t feel like fighting right now.

“Did you go after the demon?”

“No.”

“You know, why don’t I believe you right now?”

John just looked at his son and spoke quietly, “Can we not fight? You know, half the time we’re fighting, I don’t know what we’re fighting about. We’re just butting heads. Sammy, I, I’ve made some mistakes. But I’ve always done the best I could. I just don’t want to fight anymore, okay?”

Sam was taken aback, “Dad, are you all right?”

“Yeah. Yeah, I’m just a little tired. Hey, son, would you, uh, would you mind getting me a cup of caffeine?”

“Yeah. Yeah, sure. ” Sam walked out of the room. John looked at Jen, she stood there with her arms crossed, she wasn’t moving. He went and sat on the edge of Dean’s bed. John sighed, looking back at Dean, “You know, when you were a kid, I’d come home from a hunt, and after what I’d seen, I’d be, I’d be wrecked. And you, you’d come up to me and you, you’d put your hand on my shoulder and you’d look me in the eye and you’d… You’d say "It’s okay, Dad” Dean, I’m sorry.“

Dean made a face, confused, "What?”

“You shouldn’t have had to say that to me, I should have been saying that to you. You know, I put, I put too much on your shoulders, I made you grow up too fast. You took care of Sammy, you took care of me. You did that, and you didn’t complain, not once. I just want you to know that I am so proud of you.”

Dean scoffed, surprised, in awe, “This really you talking?”

“Yeah. Yeah, it’s really me.” He turned to Jen, standing up, facing her, “Listen, I’m… I’m sorry for treating you the way that I did. I was just so focused on getting this thing and protecting my boys…”

He trailed off, uncomfortably, not knowing what to say to her. Jen nodded and extended her hand. John looked for a moment, took it and shook, “It’s alright John.”

“Why are you saying this stuff?” Dean asked. John went back beside him, “I want you to watch out for Sammy, okay?”

Dean nodded, nervous, “Yeah, dad, you know I will. You’re scaring me.”

John grabbed his shoulder, “Don’t be scared, Dean. ”

John leaned in and whispered something into Dean’s ear. Dean jerks away, processing what he has just been told. John backs away and leaves the room.

“Dean?” Jen asks.

“Its nothing.” Dean stated, not committed to what he just said. Jen just nods, letting him be.

John was standing in front of a nurses station, he placed the colt on the counter, “Okay.”

Sam came around the corner and watches John fall to the floor,

“Dad?!” Sam drops the coffee and runs to John’s body, screaming for help. Nurses come and pull him off, getting John onto a gurney, wheeling him to a room. Dean and Jen hear the commotion and come sprinting out.

“What is it Sam?” Jen asked. Sam pointed to the doctors wheeling John down the hall. They all trotted after and were standing in the doorway as the doctors attempted to resuscitate John. Dean kept mumbling, pleading, “No, no, no, it’s our dad. It’s our dad! Come on.”

One of the doctors looked up, “Okay, stop compressions.”

Dean swallowed hard, turning and grabbing Jen, pulling her into a bear hug. His chin on her head. He was shaking. She grips the back of his shirt, holding him tightly. 

A nurse spoke, “Still no pulse.”

We walk down the stairs to the basement, at every floor checking to see if there are any teachers who will slap us with a detention. He holds the door for me, “So are we still leaving for that, um, stuff after school on Friday?”

“Do you mind moving it back to Saturday night? Monday and Tuesday are inservice days for the teachers, so we can make sure it is taken care of...Don’t your Dad and Sam wonder where you are?”

Dean shrugs, falling into stride beside you, “Dad doesn’t care. Sam has friends and I just say I’m  going over to Ash’s. Is that going to be a problem? Moving it back?”

“No, it shouldn’t be. The full moon isn’t until Monday night anyways.”

Dean holds the next door for me, “Umm...I can’t go in there.”

It was the boys’ gym lockers. Dean laughs, “Stop being a pansy Jen...There is no one in there, it is the middle of the period...Plus, admit, you are a little curious.”

He goes in without me, “You coming or what?”

I wasn’t going to but I heard a door slam in and adjacent hallway and I scamper in, “God, it stinks worse than I imagined.”

He chuckles, looking at the numbers at the top of the green lockers, “Hey Jen? You got that lock pick?”

I dig in the inner pocket of my jacket, handing it to him without thinking “Yeah…”

“Thanks...Ah...Right here.” He tests the lock and it doesn’t budge, he kneels, sliding the pick into the master key part.

“Dean, what the hell?” I hiss, “I taught you how to pick locks and this is how you’re using that skill?”

He winks at me, and then the lock snaps open, “Chill out, it is just Sammy’s.”

“What the hell Dean?”

“We are just pranking him…”

“Yeah, and great, now I’m an accessory…” I scoff, shaking my head at him, “Is that my fucking bra?”

Dean smiles, blushing a little, “Yeah, I stole it out of the bathroom on the last hunt. Sorry... I will give you the cash for a new one.”

I can’t believe this, “Goddammit Dean? You don’t see the problem with this?”

“You left it out in the open.” He tapes it to the inside of the door, underneath it a picture of a half naked man.

“Bu-But...You can’t, it doesn’t...What the hell?” I stammer, blushing.

“We are pranking my brother Jen...Have some fun with it. Hand me that clown poster out of the bag.”

I find a poster with a scary looking clown on it. Dean moves Sam’s clothes out of the locker, taping it in the back, “Sammy is terrified of clowns.”

“Hold on...Isn’t Sam in gym right now?”

“Which is why you should shove that pile of clothes into that bag.”

I do, after handing Dean a pink t-shirt and a skirt that I didn’t want to know where he got it from. Dean smiles, looking at his handy work, “That’s what that little shit gets.”

I smile, shaking my head. I gotta admit that he did a pretty good job. It looked like a cheerleader or a preppy girl's locker, with a horrifying clown taped in the back, “What did Sam even do to you?”

“He switched all the cassettes out for some mixes of pop shit that he made.”

“Hold up? You still have cassettes? Dude didn’t those die like twenty, thirty years ago?”