#aacuser

Kiku is using digital podd again. *happy flaps* love love love podd

I don’t hate having autism. I just hate the meltdowns, the mental and physical health issues, the regression, burnout, catatonia, communication challenges, sensory issues, the isolation, the way people view me. I love being autistic and I also really fucking hate it. I wish I was normal sometimes. 

I'm so happy. I applied to a program that helps people get AAC devices and I got approved. They've already ordered my ipad but it's going to take a while to ship due to part shortages but I'm so excited. I'm getting an ipad, a protective case with a strap and stand, a tempered glass screen protector, and TD snap. I'm going to post about my device once I get it. :3

I have moderate support needs autism and other disabilities. Normally, when I need dental work, I need IV sedation. However, I was in too much pain from a broken tooth to wait for it, so we tried an extraction without it today. It took lorazepam, Nitris, more than the max allowed amount of Novacaine, and a compassionate dentist who gave me lots of breaks, but I got through it! Proud of myself!

I sometimes have breakthrough psychosis symptoms on my antipsychotic medication triggered by stress. And that is happening right now. And psych hospitals are not able to handle my autism and physical health needs equitably, actually help me, and not consistently traumatize me. Plus, I have feeding tube surgery in less than a week. I'm very, very frightened of the things I'm having delusions about while still being able to articulate that they feel very real but probably aren't. But I'm less and less able to add that "aren't" or "probably aren't". And I'm very scared. Of the things that probably aren't there. And if having my rights suspended.