#aaaargh

Now see, it’s littttle hard to focus on Jonathan when Ariana and Cynthia are like, right there! But. GodDAMN BAILEY!!! I was actually swooning during ALAYM, like literally wHAT WAS THAAAAT! Plus, the utterly disheveled look he had going on when he held Glinda at gunpoint… the pain and regret and determination in his eyes… oh my baaaaaby!!! The tender urgency in his “protect her” BITCH I WAS BAWLING BEFORE NGD EVEN STARTED BECAUSE OF HIM!!!!

„He's such an asshole for cheating on his wife with those goddesses and blah, blah, blah, why don't these millennia-old figures feel the same about sexual fidelity as I do?”

„Odysseus is 100% 'monogamous' and has only ever willingly slept with Penelope and has never ever had consensual extramarital sex or taken another wife and any text that suggests otherwise is invalid (that is if I'm even going to acknowledge their existence) and anyone who takes those texts into account is wrong and-”

It's not genetic and it's not caused by any type of behavior I did, so I guess that's heartening; my record for taking good care of my teeth remains intact. And the progression may have spontaneously halted, because sometimes that can happen. It's something that my dentist has had kind of on the radar as a possible issue, but not confirmed, for several years now, but she just referred me to an endodontist to get it actually checked out

It may take years for the tooth to actually die. Right now it looks and feels completely normal; I would never know there was something wrong if I hadn't seen the x-rays. This kind of thing would normally be fixed with a root canal, but because of where The decay is located inside the tooth, the doctor says that's not a good option – they would need to take bone away to do a root canal, and that would cause problems later on if it failed and I needed an implant

... which means that I'm probably more likely to need an implant someday anyway, I guess. He showed me the x-rays, or I might be concerned that he was in the pocket of big dental implant. But I digress

There's not really anything to do except try not to think about it and deal with the situation when it worsens. Which is really hard for a chronic worrier like me

I know I'm in the relatively privileged position that I will probably be able to afford an implant when the time comes, and I'm very grateful for that. I also know that this is definitely not the end of the world; it's not like I'm losing a limb or dealing with something life-threatening. It's just… I don't know. there's a feeling of failure, like I did something wrong even though the doctor assured me that it's not anything I did or could've prevented. I'm also very annoyed that it's a front tooth, and that means that when something happens, I'll probably have a very visible missing tooth for at least a few months. I'm worried it will impact my speech. I'm worried I'll wake up one day completely out of the blue and something will have happened. I'm just very worried, and there's nothing I can do