i love having a sense of purpose yk. a drive. a reason to get up in the morning. a task in hand. a motive. lil bit of impetus. a resolution. a resolve. an aspiration. an ambition. a dream. a song to sing. to help me cope with anything.
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i love having a sense of purpose yk. a drive. a reason to get up in the morning. a task in hand. a motive. lil bit of impetus. a resolution. a resolve. an aspiration. an ambition. a dream. a song to sing. to help me cope with anything.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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A FANTASY
Her voice is like clear water
That drips upon a stone
In forests far and silent
Where Quiet plays alone.
Her thoughts are like the lotus
Abloom by sacred streams
Beneath the temple arches
Where Quiet sits and dreams.
Her kisses are the roses
That glow while dusk is deep
In Persian garden closes
Where Quiet falls asleep.
Sara Teasdale, c.1911
A Fantasy
By Louise GlĂĽck
I'll tell you something: every day
people are dying. And that's just the beginning.
Every day, in funeral homes, new widows are born,
new orphans. They sit with their hands folded,
trying to decide about this new life.
Then they're in the cemetery, some of them
for the first time. They're frightened of crying,
sometimes of not crying. Someone leans over,
tells them what to do next, which might mean
saying a few words, sometimes
throwing dirt in the open grave.
And after that, everyone goes back to the house,
which is suddenly full of visitors.
The widow sits on the couch, very stately,
so people line up to approach her,
sometimes take her hand, sometimes embrace her.
She finds something to say to everbody,
thanks them, thanks them for coming.
In her heart, she wants them to go away.
She wants to be back in the cemetery,
back in the sickroom, the hospital. She knows
it isn't possible. But it's her only hope,
the wish to move backward. And just a little,
not so far as the marriage, the first kiss.
imo there’s no greater divide (culturally, mentally, socially, etc) than the one between desi women and desi men, and sometimes i feel like we’re delusional bc of it. we love our heritage, our scriptures, our worship of shakti, and our tales of brave warriors and gods protecting women (and punishing those that hurt us), and hope that our men are the same. we hope that at least some of them share the same values as us. desi women are being taught to strive for education and a good career and that we’re our families’ lakshmi’s. meanwhile, what the hell are the men being taught???? that they can brutalize us, put us “back in our places,” and that we’re all just objects they have free reign over? it’s ridiculous, and honestly at times it feels like we aren’t even from the same planet. when we were told about draupadi’s disrobing and sita’s abduction, the moral was that any person who aids or abets in the violation of women deserves to be destroyed. what morals did the men take away from these stories? what did they hear instead??
while we women are looking towards a better future and shedding our shackles, we honestly hoped that the men will do the same. we hoped that they’ll wake up and realize what we already learned: women are to be respected, and any society that cannot do that is doomed. unfortunately, they haven’t and may never will bc they simply want to regress! i’ve always personally set the bar higher for desi men bc of our upbringing but, GOD, they have made it their life’s mission to lower it. i cannot handle another brutal rape case from india, especially from the supposed devbhumi or stronghold of shaktism.
i have a 3 hour long presentation session at work tomorrow and i am once again going to channel garak and his customer service smile. yes i'm so happy to be here delivering this training session even though it's not my job and this whole project has been a shitshow! watch how enthusiastic i can be!! look how my eyes are so wide and it's because i'm so happy to be here not because i can't believe what i'm being forced to endure and am picturing violence to get through it!!

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Fantasizing about your mouth on mine
A longing for the Vivid Dreams of a place where you feel that you belong, flooding our minds a momentary rest from our realities, nevertheless like vapour vanishes over a short time
When we wake bits and pieces Left stuck within our minds