#study vibes

Over the past few days, I've come to realize that the kind of onboarding I had hoped for, and perhaps even thought I needed, was never really feasible in a company of this size.

Not because people don't care. Not because anyone is unwilling to help. But because the necessary time and personnel resources just aren't there.

Everyone is juggling multiple responsibilities, deadlines, and clients. Looking at it from that perspective, I can understand why a highly structured, step-by-step introduction was never really an option.

I recently talked to one of my colleagues about one of my biggest concerns. I was afraid that, sooner or later, I would be expected to know things that nobody had ever had the time to teach me. 

Her response was reassuring.

She explained that, at this stage, nobody expects me to fully understand why every process works the way it does. The expectation right now is much simpler:

✧ to know that a process needs to be carried out,

✧ that certain information has to be added or omitted at specific points,

✧ and that the workflow is followed correctly.

The deeper understanding, the why, how, and what for, comes later.

In fact, the plan is for me to complete the IHK certification program to become an insurance intermediary, which will be fully funded by my employer. According to my colleague, that's where many of the theoretical foundations and industry-specific explanations will finally start to make sense.

And honestly?

That conversation helped me put things into perspective.

✧ Maybe I don't need to know everything immediately.

✧ Maybe it's enough, for now, to learn the processes, gain routine, and trust that understanding will follow with time, experience, and education.

For someone who likes certainty and detailed explanations, that's still a difficult lesson.

But it's a lesson worth learning.

This is Your Second Second Chance

A few days into my new job, I've realized that the onboarding process is not as structured, detailed, or thorough as I had hoped it would be.

A lot of things are skipped, glossed over, or simply assumed to be common knowledge, even though it's no secret that I come from a completely different background. Nobody is being intentionally unhelpful; everyone is just incredibly busy, stressed, and constantly racing against the clock.

Because of that, I often find myself hesitating to ask questions. Not because I don't have them, but because I can see how little time everyone seems to have.

I'm hoping that, with time, I'll adapt to this work environment and become more comfortable navigating the lack of communication and the uncertainty that comes with it.

Maybe these insecurities will fade once I've built enough knowledge and confidence on my own.

I've already ordered and received two professional books related to the industry.

It's going to be a challenging few months.

✧ But I know that I want to establish myself in this field.

✧ I want to understand it,

✧ become competent at it,

✧ and build a future here.

So now it's simple:

I have work to do.

And the only way forward is through.

This is Your Second Second Chance

I recently started a new job as an administrative clerk at a company working in finance, real estate, and insurance brokerage. To be completely honest: I entered this field with little to no prior knowledge about these industries. No deep understanding of insurance systems, financial structures, or the complexities of the real estate market.

And yet, somehow, my personality, willingness to learn, and my CV were enough for them to give me this opportunity.

That realization alone means a lot to me.

At the same time, it also means that the real work begins now.

After work, a large part of my evenings will probably be dedicated to studying;

reading technical literature,

learning industry terminology,

understanding processes,

and slowly filling in all the knowledge gaps I currently have.

Especially in the field of insurance, where I feel the steepest learning curve waiting for me.

It’s intimidating, but also exciting.

This blog has always been about self-study, rebuilding myself piece by piece, and documenting the uncomfortable but necessary stages of growth. This is simply another one of those stages.

✧ Right now, I am inexperienced.

✧ Right now, I ask a lot of questions.

✧ Right now, I often feel like I know nothing.

But “right now” is temporary.

A few months from now, I want to look back at this entry and see proof that consistency matters more than perfection. That competence can be built. That being new at something is not a weakness — staying unwilling to learn would be.

So here’s to long evenings with insurance textbooks, unfamiliar terminology, highlighted pages, notes everywhere, and the slow process of becoming knowledgeable in a field I never expected to enter.

Second chances sometimes arrive disguised as responsibilities.

This is Your Second Second Chance

The past explains many things. But it does not have to permanently determine how far I can still go, because my past is not a final judgment of my intellectual abilities.

I am still young. I am still alive.

I can still catch up on what I believe I missed or never learned; where there are gaps, missing knowledge, or skills and abilities I still lack.

Now. Here. Today. With what I have.

This is your second second Chance