#911lsweek

Judd’s laugh echoes around the firehouse, gaining the attention of anyone still left, and even Owen has to chuckle, knowing instinctively that there’s no way this is staying between him and Judd. He finds he doesn’t mind it, though; they’re a family now, and this is what family does. 

But apparently Judd isn’t going to let the issue go, following Owen as he heads back to his office.

“What’s your deal with Reyes, then?” he asks.

Owen sighs and stops walking, turning to face him. “I haven’t got a problem with Officer - with Carlos.”

“But…?”

“But.” He shrugs and walks into his office, slumping down into the chair. “I just worry, is all.”

“Yeah I get that,” Judd says. He pauses for a moment, then shakes his head. “Actually, no, I don’t; I don’t got kids yet, but I imagine it’s normal. But, you know, T.K.’s a grown man, free to make his own choices, and all that.”

“I know,” Owen says. “It’s just…” He sighs. “Look, I don’t know how much T.K.’s told you all, but he hasn’t had much luck with relationships. And his last one… It seemed to be going well, and then it blew up right in his face. It really, um. Really knocked him for six.”

“The overdose,” Judd infers, and Owen grimaces.

“Yeah,” he murmurs, looking down at his desk. 

Judd shifts, clearly uncomfortable, and Owen wants to tell him to go home. He’s about to, in fact, when Judd instead clears his throat.

“Listen, I ain’t no expert on any of this,” he says. “But I do know a thing or two about relationships. And what T.K. and Reyes have?” He shrugs and leans against the doorway. “Kind of reminds me of how me and Grace used to be.”

“Used?” 

“You know, the honeymoon period? When you think sunbeams and rainbows shine out of each other’s asses?” Judd shakes his head at Owen. “C’mon, Cap, surely you of all people understand. Things change after you’ve been together for a while, but it doesn’t mean you love them any less.”

“I’m not exactly the expert on functional marriages,” Owen says, but he’s being difficult. He gets what Judd means, and he appreciates it.

Judd laughs. “Well, my point is, I don’t think you need to worry. I know you’re gonna anyway, but, like I said, Reyes is good. And if he ever decides not to be, well then. I guess it’s a good thing T.K.’s got me for a brother.”

“You realise he’s a cop?” Owen says. Judd just shrugs and grins, which makes Owen smile. “You know, I haven’t seen T.K. smile like that in a long time. Since way before we left New York.”

Judd’s smile softens into something gentler. Then he sighs and shoves himself away from the wall, turning to go. “Think I’m done feeling my feelings for one night,” he says. “See you, Cap.”

“Night, Judd.”

Owen watches Judd walk away and smiles softly, laughing to himself. Judd’s right; he really doesn’t need to worry. The 126 are a family, and this is really what family does - they protect their own. 

“You weren’t supposed to see that,” he blurts out loudly, slapping his hand over his screen.

He cringes as Judd slowly lowers his book, while Marjan and Mateo pause their game. All three look over at them with amused smiles on their faces. He’s sure if he turns around to look in the kitchen, he’ll find that Paul has stopped what he’s doing to watch them too.

“TK – “ Carlos starts softly. He can hear the gentleness in his voice but also the humor, and he feels his face grow hot at his tone, along with the grins on his crew’s faces.

Not really looking at anyone, he shoots up out of the couch. “I gotta go,” he gets out, his face growing hotter when his voice cracks.

“Where? You’re on shift!” Judd calls out to him, but TK isn’t listening, not when his sole focus is to get away from everyone’s amused looks as they watch him leave.

He turns the corner and heads for the dorm rooms. He knows his reaction is downright childish, but now that he’s started, he wants to commit to the behavior, hide under his blanket until his face isn’t so red, and he can erase from his memory the look on his crew’s faces. He finds a half-asleep Buttercup on his bed; the big mutt opens an eye to look at him. Proving how sensitive he is to TK, the second he sits down, Buttercup shifts over to rest his head on his lap, looking up at him with sleepy soulful eyes.

“Thanks, buddy,” he says softly, running his hand over the top of the dog’s head. He hears footsteps, but doesn’t bother to look up from petting the Bernese on his lap; he already knows who it is.

Carlos sits down next to him; he doesn’t say anything; instead, he just waits silently in that supportive way of his until TK is ready to speak.

“I overreacted to you seeing your picture on my phone,” he says quietly, looking up from Buttercup to Carlos. He takes in the gentle, concerned look on his face and feels something shift inside. “I don’t even know why.”

“Maybe because it feels like revealing something you weren’t ready for me to know?” Carlos questions, still tender and understanding like always.

TK thinks about the statement for a moment and finds truth in it. Carlos knowing that his picture is his lock screen, feels oddly intimate. It leaves him acutely aware of how vulnerable he is with him.

He gives Carlos a small nod. “People have always said I wear my heart on my sleeve,” he starts quietly, biting down on his lip before continuing. “And all it’s gotten me is my heart stomped on.”

“And now it makes you gun-shy to be so exposed,” Carlos answers just as softly. TK feels a wave of affection as he hears no judgment in Carlos’ voice, only empathy.

“It’s not that I want to hide my feelings from you,” TK says quickly, needing Carlos to know that. He doesn’t want his past failures to ruin the good thing he has with Carlos today. “I want you to know I care about you. I hope you know that.”

Carlos answers him with a beautiful smile, his arm coming around TK’s shoulder, giving him a soft pull into his space. TK goes willingly, tucking his face into Carlos’ neck as he gives him a sideways hug. He shifts to get closer to Carlos, and Buttercup makes a grumbling noise from where he rests his head on TK’s lap. He smiles when Carlos’ hand joins his, petting the large dog until he closes his eyes again.

“I know you care about me,” Carlos assures him. “Since we made our relationship official, I haven’t once questioned it.”

TK lets out a relieved sigh. “Good, you need to tell me right away if I ever do something that changes that. I can be self-involved sometimes, but I never want to hurt you because I’m being a clueless dick.”

He feels Carlos shake a little as he laughs. “I promise to tell you if you’re being a dick, Ty.”

TK snorts softly at the teasing. He tilts his head back, pressing his lips against the underside of Carlos’ jaw.

They stay quiet for a moment as TK enjoys Carlos’ embrace. “Can I show you something?” Carlos asks quietly after a moment.

“Mmhmm,” he mumbles, mellowed out from being in his boyfriend’s arms.

He lifts his head from his shoulder when Carlos pulls his phone out, playing with it nervously.

“Okay – so don’t judge me,” Carlos starts, and TK raises an eyebrow at the shy smile he sees on his face. A moment later, he understands why. Carlos’ lock screen is a sleepy TK, and TK remembers the moment Carlos took the picture. It was a few weeks ago when he came over to his place after being on shift for three days, more asleep than awake.

“I’m your lock screen,” he says quietly, going warm to the tip of his toes.

“Not just my lock screen,” Carlos confesses, wrinkling his nose adorably as his cheeks turn pink. He enters his passcode, and TK can see what he means. He’s Carlos’ home screen too; only this time, it’s a picture of them together. One that TK took one afternoon when they were goofing around. Carlos’ face is half-hidden in TK’s shoulder while he smiles at the camera.

“I’m your home screen,” he whispers, letting out a small laugh, he feels so happy he could burst.

“Yes,” Carlos says with a smile of his own, his face is still pink, but his smile is full and pleased. “And if you look at my camera roll, you’ll call me a stalker from the sheer amount of pictures I have of your face.”

TK laughs gleefully, his eyes going a little wet.

Carlos shakes his head at his enjoyment, his lips curved upward. “I just wanted you to know that I feel the same way.”

TK nods, understanding what Carlos is trying to say. He’s grateful for this beautiful man that somehow, despite their less than great start, cares about him – loves him.

Suddenly he’s not as scared anymore, and he takes his phone out, opening his camera.

“What are you doing?” Carlos asks even as he grins, pulling him closer.

“You have a picture of us as your home screen,” TK answers, lifting his phone in front of them. “I need one too.”

Carlos lets out a soft laugh before he smiles as he turns to look at the camera, and TK takes a moment to look at him. He’s so head over heels in love he can’t think straight.

“Carlos?” he murmurs, his lips a breath away from Carlos’ cheek.

“Yeah?” Carlos asks, not looking away from the camera.

TK grins, his heart pounding hard under his chest from how sure he is. “I love you.”