#4027

I suppose I have to take Gamzee's cult a lot more seriously now - which means I should probably at least try to figure out what it is they actually believe.

It appears as if their doctrine is centered around some sort of prophecy, concerning a group of legendary figures known as 'mirthful messiahs'. They're fated to release the Vast Honk - and, in doing so, create some sort of Juggalo paradise.

We don't know any lore about the Vast Honk, but its name sets up intentional parallels with Gl'bgolyb's apocalyptic Vast Glub, as well as the Vast Croak, a holy sound emitted by newborn Genesis Frogs. Both of these sounds accompany enormous, galaxy-shaking cosmic events, so the Honk is presumably no different.

Alternia's First Guardian was 'corrupted' by a genome of the same name, presumably changing him from a standard Sburb NPC into the English cultist we all know and tolerate.

Could the Vast Honk be released by someone corrupted in a similar manner? We already know that Jade's Genesis Frog was spliced with some unknown DNA; it's terrifyingly plausible that said DNA was planted by Scratch, Gamzee, or English himself. There's a very real possibility that the Vast Honk will come from the mouth of Jade's frog.

TC: BUT NOW. TC: because of you. TC: BECAUSE OF ALL YOU AND YOUR FUCKING OUTRAGEOUSNESS. TC: you stole up all my miracles away by revealing at me how the wicked shit was really kicked. TC: LIKE SOME FILTHY FUCKING SCIENSTIFF WHO AT OLD TIMES WOULD BE RULED UNFUNNY WITHOUT EVEN GETTING HIS FUCKING TRIAL ON. TC: and now i don't know what to think about the spiritual fantasies i had.

Anyway, Gamzee can’t seem to reconcile his worldview with this pair of alien rappers who seem to cruelly parody his beliefs.

He’s always been dimly aware of his fictional nature, and as his mind begins to clear, it is forced to confront the possibility that this is all his religion ever was. A viral video and a meme.

For once, he doesn't think it's a very funny joke.

TC: I HAVE THE IDEA THAT YOU PUT IN MY PAN TO SIT THERE. TC: that the paradise planet TC: IS A FUCKING JOKE. TC: and the miracles TC: ARE FAKE. TC: pure fiction. TC: FALSE FAKEY FRAUDY CON JOBS FROM A BUNCH OF UNFUNNY NINJA HARLEQUIN BULLSHIT ARTISTS.

It would be remiss of me not to bring up the possibility that ICP are non-trivially involved with Homestuck's plot. I mean, Betty Crocker is now a key figure in multiple characters’ backstories, so fucking anything is possible at this point.

HILDA the Himalayan Cat

By Douglas Cuddle Toys

2010-Present