its write time

if you think you have enough eye contact in your story: no you don't

it doesn't matter if anyone else finds it hot. it only matters if YOU find it hot. just write it

it doesn't matter if anyone else finds it hot. it only matters if YOU find it hot. just write it

it's not coming home

(places your hands on the keyboard) do it for garlic bread

you call them typos, i call them easter eggs

who cares if it's confusing! people WANT to be confused. why do you think so many people like the movie inception

write a protagonist that will make people say, "baby boy. baby" (gender neutral)

accidentally paste chapter 38 and chapter 39 in the wrong order so when you proofread the novel you think you forgot a whole chapter and go through the five stages of grief because your novel is exactly the wordcount you were aiming for and adding chapter 38 back in will add 1,200 words and then paste it back in and proofread it and then when you reach the end of chapter 39 realise you did actually did include chapter 38 but you put it after chapter 39 so it's in the wrong order and be like oh hahaha and delete it

don't have a first sentence. start with the second sentence

it's okay to write the same sentence twice 126 pages apart as a treat

make sure in your novel you have a day phase and a night phase. if you don't it is forbidden

if someone tells you your book isn't relatable, scream at them until they go away

the best advice i can give is honestly just to put your absolute heart and soul into your work. and consider it a craft. really hone it. but the honesty is the key thing. you've got to bare your soul or it won't matter to anyone. oh wait writing? sorry, i was talking about selling counterfeit armani bags on ebay. i've got no fucking idea about writing

throw yourself into a gigantic pool of red liquid

don't listen to me, i used the word "suddenly" 91 times in my novel

you gotta remember to give your protagonist motivations. yes, even if you don't have any. yes. really