#s171

TG: the song isnt even supposed to be released for another year or something TG: but i got it from an inside source

And here’s Betty herself, pushing 100 and still kicking. Not too surprising, given that she’s a member of an unknown species.

Alright – why would she do this? Is she following some sort of plan? Who could possibly have a vested interest in driving Gamzee to a breakd

...nah, I'm just screwing with you.

It's Scratch. It's always Scratch. He’s been pushing these kids’ buttons from the very beginning, keeping them out of action at key moments, preventing them from interfering with the dominoes he’s been setting up for centuries upon centuries. He'll win, he's winning, and he's won.

This guy has had the entire story on lockdown since aeons before it started. There is no doubt in my mind whatsoever that Betty Crocker is just his latest pawn.

TC: I REALLY JUST CAME BACK ON YOU TO MOTHER FUCKING SAY. TC: that while that sickening noise you did at me is your fault TC: THERE'S SOMETHING I DID AT YOU WHAT'S MINE. TC: i did something that's motherfucking atrocious to your posse. TC: MADE YOUR WHOLE CREW OF JOKERS GET TO BEING KINDA MENTALLY MOTHER FUCKIN TC: unstable.

Wait, what?

...Gamzee, what did you do?

TC: IN FUCKING FACT TC: that atrocious business i got to doing TC: I DID THAT SHIT TO YOUR WHOLE UNIVERSE AS A MATTER OF MOTHER FUCKING FACT.

What the fuck did you do?

TC: i finally got all caught up in what's true behind the sweet murdermirth of the bitchin bloodcircus. TC: I REACHED DEEP DOWN AND GOT AT WHERE ALL THE REAL HARSHWHIMSIES WERE HIDING INSIDE ME. TC: in the angriest ways i found up my dark ancestral chucklevoodoos within. TC: AND THEN

What in the fresh fucking hell did you-

Absolutely no fucking way.

TC: i focused on them through the rage you made me have TC: AND I WENT AND MADE YOUR UNIVERSE...

TC: terminal. Bo)

YOU!!

YOU DID THIS TO US!

IT WAS ALL YOU, GAMZEE!

You caused John’s nightmares! You're the reason he scrawled clowns on his wall, the reason his father filled his house with harlequins fresh for the prototyping! You're the one who caused Jack’s ascension, and his second, even worse ascension - and you're the reason he's currently discharging the full force of the Green Sun's fury into our frog!

Location: S171

I suppose I have to take Gamzee's cult a lot more seriously now - which means I should probably at least try to figure out what it is they actually believe.

It appears as if their doctrine is centered around some sort of prophecy, concerning a group of legendary figures known as 'mirthful messiahs'. They're fated to release the Vast Honk - and, in doing so, create some sort of Juggalo paradise.

We don't know any lore about the Vast Honk, but its name sets up intentional parallels with Gl'bgolyb's apocalyptic Vast Glub, as well as the Vast Croak, a holy sound emitted by newborn Genesis Frogs. Both of these sounds accompany enormous, galaxy-shaking cosmic events, so the Honk is presumably no different.

Alternia's First Guardian was 'corrupted' by a genome of the same name, presumably changing him from a standard Sburb NPC into the English cultist we all know and tolerate.

Could the Vast Honk be released by someone corrupted in a similar manner? We already know that Jade's Genesis Frog was spliced with some unknown DNA; it's terrifyingly plausible that said DNA was planted by Scratch, Gamzee, or English himself. There's a very real possibility that the Vast Honk will come from the mouth of Jade's frog.

TC: BUT NOW. TC: because of you. TC: BECAUSE OF ALL YOU AND YOUR FUCKING OUTRAGEOUSNESS. TC: you stole up all my miracles away by revealing at me how the wicked shit was really kicked. TC: LIKE SOME FILTHY FUCKING SCIENSTIFF WHO AT OLD TIMES WOULD BE RULED UNFUNNY WITHOUT EVEN GETTING HIS FUCKING TRIAL ON. TC: and now i don't know what to think about the spiritual fantasies i had.

Anyway, Gamzee can’t seem to reconcile his worldview with this pair of alien rappers who seem to cruelly parody his beliefs.

He’s always been dimly aware of his fictional nature, and as his mind begins to clear, it is forced to confront the possibility that this is all his religion ever was. A viral video and a meme.

For once, he doesn't think it's a very funny joke.

TC: I HAVE THE IDEA THAT YOU PUT IN MY PAN TO SIT THERE. TC: that the paradise planet TC: IS A FUCKING JOKE. TC: and the miracles TC: ARE FAKE. TC: pure fiction. TC: FALSE FAKEY FRAUDY CON JOBS FROM A BUNCH OF UNFUNNY NINJA HARLEQUIN BULLSHIT ARTISTS.

It would be remiss of me not to bring up the possibility that ICP are non-trivially involved with Homestuck's plot. I mean, Betty Crocker is now a key figure in multiple characters’ backstories, so fucking anything is possible at this point.

PCG: IF YOU SEE KANAYA IN DEATHBUBBLE HELL, PLEASE TELL HER I'M SORRY I LET HER DOWN. PCG: AND IF YOU SEE SOLLUX WANDERING AROUND TOO, LET HIM KNOW HOW ASHAMED I AM I DITCHED HIM LIKE A COWARD BECAUSE I HEARD A HORN GO HONK. PCG: AND TEREZI PCG: IF YOU SEE HER PCG: COULD YOU GIVE HER A MESSAGE FOR ME? PCG: TELL HER THAT PCG: ACTUALLY PCG: NEVER MIND. PCG: I'LL PROBABLY BE ABLE TO TELL THEM ALL IN PERSON SOON. PCG: SEEING AS AN IDIOT IN MAKEUP IS ABOUT TO ROLL OVER MY NAKED SQUEAL PIPETTE WITH A ONE WHEEL DEVICE. FGA: Sollux Is Okay FGA: Hes With Me Right Now PCG: HOLY SHIT PCG: YOU'RE ALIVE FGA: Hold On I Really Need To Change These Clothes

Have I ever mentioned how much I love Kanaya? Because I love Kanaya. Even before her vampirism, she was always a ray of light in the darkness.

Also, reading this paragraph has reminded me that we already know why Sollux shouldn't be able to see the Green Sun.

HE'S BLIND, REMEMBER?

I assume his dream projection just didn't inherit that trait. No idea why he can only see it with one eye, though.

After the Gamzee/Tavros fakeout, I don't have a clue whether this one's supposed to be a Dream Bubble - and frankly, I'm not even sure if I want this to be Gamzee's ghost.

Up until recently, I’ve safely been able to assume that a character’s death would mark an end to any threat they represent, at least until they get resurrected. With the introduction of these Bubbles, though, characters can now continue to affect the plot after they've been taken off the board. In the case of our heroes, that's obviously a good thing, but we've got plenty of characters who were taken off the board for a reason.

Now, Vriska’s ghost is already mellowing out, and Eridan’s not resourceful enough to pull anything crafty – but Gamzee’s ghost? That’s one we should probably keep an eye on.

TC: it's all your fault.

Why? What did Dave do?

PCG: ITS DEFECTIVE GENES PROBABLY MADE IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR YOUR SESSION TO BE SUCCESSFUL PCG: SORT OF LIKE PCG: ITS REPRODUCTIVE SYSTEM WAS DAMAGED. PCG: WHAT SHOULD BE FERTILE GROUND FOR YOUR NEW UNIVERSE TO GROW PCG: WAS REPLACED BY A MASSIVE BOMB RIGGED TO BLOW UP YOUR WHOLE SESSION. PCG: PROBABLY JUST ONE OF MANY SYMPTOMS OF A SICK UNIVERSE.

I wondered if losing the Final Frog would prevent a universe from creating sessions. Turns out I was pretty close, after all - what it actually does is prevent the universe from completing sessions.

All of Earth's session's are infertile, even our king Fedorafreak's. This frog will never, ever reproduce.

PCG: BUT I DON'T THINK IT'S LIKE A NORMAL DISEASE. PCG: NOT LIKE A CELLULAR MUTATION THAT'S OUT OF CONTROL PCG: THE CANCER TOOK A SPECIFIC FORM, LIKE A COMPLICATED SERIES OF TERRIBLE EVENTS RATHER THAN FAULTY CELL DIVISION PCG: IT WAS AN EVENTUALITY IN YOUR UNIVERSE THAT WAS INEVITABLE, THAT WE ALL UNWITTINGLY HELPED MAKE HAPPEN PCG: ALL CONCENTRATED THROUGH THE ACTIONS OF ONE HOSTILE AGENT IN THE SYSTEM, WITH AN INSTINCT TO DESTROY EVERYTHING IT HATED PCG: AND THEN GIVEN THE POWER TO DO SO.

Right, so Perfect Jack is the physical manifestation of this cancer, but that doesn't mean that sessions without him are safe.

PCG: AND UNLIKE A NORMAL DISEASE, IT WOULDN'T GRADUALLY KILL ITS HOST FROM WITHIN PCG: THE CANCER LEFT THE BODY PCG: CHASED OUT, AS IF BY AN IMMUNE SYSTEM. PCG: BUT THE PROBLEM IS PCG: IT WASN'T ANY LESS DEADLY ON THE OUTSIDE

Not content with slaying her frogspawn, Jack does directly for the mother.

I guess this frog is just... fully accessible from the troll session, even with a broken door. Does it simply remain at the center of Skaia, after merging with the Battlefield? And if so, what was that door actually for?

Anyway, this is obviously going to be a huge problem. Not just during this mad scramble to escape Jack's wrath, but for what comes after, too. The Scratched session is still taking place in the same universe, so it'll still be an unwinnable game.

Hammer the reset button all you want, kids - but you can't put the batteries back in the console.

PCG: NOIR IS THE CANCER.

PCG: IT'S HIM.

Jack's attacking from outside the universe entirely - so if I had to guess, I'd say that his tentacles are damaging it in completely random times and places. We can only hope that the Scratched version of Earth also takes the hit in 2400, long after the Players have entered their Medium – but at this point, all bets are off.