I was definitely tweaking
Im going to tell y'all my story of when I was tripping on 2cb. I don't know if it was considered a bad trip, because every time I look back at it I just laugh. However in the moment I was definitely tripping balls and slowly losing my sanity. The best way I can describe my situation that night is with Charles Chaplins quote "Life is a tragedy when seen up close, but a comedy in long-shot."
Before taking 2cb, I was already on huge amounts of amphetamine. The reason why I was on amphetamine is because me and my best friend was on our way to a forest rave. This spot we were going to was a pretty common place for raves so I was already familiar with the environment. So me and my bestie decided to sneak in. We sneaked in without any issues and began to enjoy the rave. We danced a bit and talked to some of our friends from school because they were also there, so that was a pleasant surprise. However as time went on the rave started to get more and more crowded, because the arrangers decided to put tape around the area so it would be harder for others to sneak in. So they taped us in a little circle. The crowd wasn't that bad but I just noticed that more people were gathering.
Now me and my bestie had made a bunch of friends and we were a big group of people hanging around. We decided to go under the tape to the other side to smoke a joint so we just talked and smoked but then my besties ex offered me 2cb. So I accepted it and I swallowed the pill without thinking. In the beginning I felt completely normal I barely felt any effects, but then my bestie and her classmate wanted to take a nitrous balloon. When they asked me that, I was also standing with a friend I knew from before and she was on shrooms. So both me and the girl on shrooms said "why not, let's do it".
Let me tell you as soon as I inhaled that balloon I disappeared and the effects started kicking in. Me and the girl on shrooms looked at each other with the same face expression, and I said this balloon is not to fuck with, and she nodded her head with agreement. While me and the shroom girl were taking it chill with the balloon my bestie and her classmate were in my eyes "going crazy". They were laughing uncontrollably and inhaling that balloon every 30 seconds. So I naturally said "guys be careful these balloons are strong asf."
This is where I started to forget that I'm on a psychedelic, and when you forget the fact that you are on a psychedelic drug things get a lil bit crazy. So after that balloon I was observing people at the rave and what I saw was a bunch of people who were high as fuck on crazy things, being manic and inhaling balloons that made some people pass out. I saw crazy people in my head. Everyone was fucking insane and I was the only normal one. I even saw one person throwing up and then another passing out from a balloon so in my head everyone was fucking insane. This is where I was drifting away and I couldn't do shit about it because the 2cb pill was kicking in.
I was super paranoid and had those type of thoughts in my head going then and at the same time I didn't want to look crazy infront of my friends so I had to just play like everything was normal. So when someone was talking to me and I was responding to them, all I could think about was..."what if I'm talking about something completely off topic" or "what if my answer to what they said doesn't make any sense". And I had those type of thoughts all night, when talking to someone. I was super anxious and wanted to look as "normal" as I could to others because inside my mind I was going crazy and didn't want anyone to notice that I was tripping hard.
I was on my way to buy water with my besties classmate, we were waiting in line and meanwhile a woman comes up to me. And the first thing she does is scream at me and what she says is "take off your shoes, I want to see your feet!" and mind you she says this to me while im tripping on huge amounts of 2cb and amphetamine.
So I think I'm officially having a psychosis, and what I do is I just tell the lady to fuck off and take her foot fetish somewhere else. Because she was literally trying to untie my shoes. After that, she left and all I could do was look at my besties classmate and I asked "you saw that right, I'm not going crazy?" She said yea I saw that too and she was only drinking alcohol that night.
So that just confirmed that I wasn't crazy but it's all the other people here that are crazy. But that wasn't better either, because now I didn't want to look anyone in the eyes after that.
However I got my water and on my way to the dj I saw a dude that I recognized because its the same guy that always asks me "Hey do you want a lil bit of xtc", he does this because he is a dealer. So because I recognized him, my stupid ass thought it would be funny to ask "Oohh your the guy that alway says, hey do you want a lil bit of xtc" and I imitated his voice a little bit because it was supposed to be a funny joke but instead he got super angry at me and said "wtf are you saying to me, you don't have to be fucking rude" and shit like that which made me even more anxious. So all I did was say "sorry bro didn't mean to come off that way." And when he was going away he was looking at me with crazy ass eyes like he was going to hit me or sum. So, I just assumed he must've been super drugged up that night as well because there is no reason to get so angry, and also everyone was crazy that night.
My besties classmate had a balloon and she wanted to take it standing up and I told her "just be careful these balloons are strong asf" and I also told her that "if you inhale that balloon stop earlier then what you think so you don't pass out" and what happens is she is inhaling that balloon long ass fuck and im trying to rip away the balloon from her hand and the next thing you know she fell on the ground laying there passed out and having some kind of seizure. I swear to god I saw her like shaking for a moment, I looked up at some strangers and asked them for help but they just looked at me and they did not give a fuck. So thats when my bestie comes in perfect timing and helps me, and I told her what had happened. I also told her that "I cannot deal with her, I'm way too fucking high" and "I can't be taking care of other people when I'm in this state of mind."
I was literally tripping my ass off and I had to take care of my besties classmate, I didn't even know the girl that well so that wasn't ideal in my situation either. So my bestie took her back.
So I left my friend group and the chaos to dance, and when I tell you the music was so fucking good and thats when I was lost in the tunes. When I opened my eyes I ended up dancing in a whole new spot then where I started so I foo real got lost in the music. I don't know how long I was gone from the group but I know it was a long time. So I took a break from dancing, because I saw something that peaked my interest and it was a fire show. Some guy had brought their own fire show to the rave and he was spinning the fire around making cool tricks and shit, and in that moment I found my peace again and felt like I could breathe. That fire show guy legit calmed me down and after that I was coming back. I was glad to be back to reality again that I was going back to my friends telling them guys "Im finally back, Im finally myself again!"
My friends had no idea that I was tripping that hard and when I talked to them during that night I seemed completely sober they said.
But Oooh If they just knew what was going on inside my mind that night they would've known, this girl is not sober, lmao. I think my mistake was that I already had so much adrenaline in my body from the amphetamine and then because it was so crowded it just added to the disaster.
Hope you enjoyed my story and thank you for taking your time to read it sending lots of hugs <33
Life is a tragedy when seen up close, but a comedy in long-shot."
