First and foremost, thank you all for your kind words on my last post. I appreciate the opportunity to use this space without feeling guilty for bitching regardless of the situation. Thank you also to the dear anon who wrote this kind message. While I’m familiar with Colleen due to her work as Miranda, I was not aware of her pregnancy struggles. I’ll definitely be looking into that as I find it helpful to read other people’s similar journeys.
I feel all your love and am shooting it right back out atcha across the interwebs.
Last night was one of the worst nights I’ve ever had. There was a moment where I actually thought I was going to die. First, some background.
After work yesterday was a delightfully non-scheduled evening which meant I got to come straight home at 5 and I knew I wanted to be in the bath by 8 p.m. and in bed by 9 p.m. so I had a solid 2.5 hours to be productive. Kevin was on call at the hospital so he wasn’t home and I took full advantage of the empty house. I worked on organizing the nursery and put up these new “blackout curtains” that clearly only filter out some light, but I think they look quite lovely regardless. I cooked the chicken that had been in the fridge for a week, made Kevin a pitcher of Keto Chow and put my new Christmas tree skirt around the tree.
By 8:30 p.m. I was happily in my epson salt bath soaking my incredibly swollen feet, drinking my sleepytime decaf green tea with lemon and jasmine and watching a few episodes of Schitt’s Creek. By 9:30 p.m. I was tucked away in the middle of my king sized bed with a towel underneath me due to the fact that I’m peeing with every sneeze and cough, my feet propped up on two pillows and my head propped up to help my congestion.
At 2 a.m. I wake up with an incredibly sharp pain in my chest like nothing I’d ever experienced before. I immediately roll out of bed wide awake wondering what the fuck was going on when all of a sudden I have to cough and the pain intensifies tenfold. I text Kevin to see if he knows what’s wrong with me and he calls me immediately. I describe everything I’m feeling and experiencing and he says that it’s concerning and that I should call the OB office. I talk to the midwife on call and she basically says that she can’t diagnose me over the phone (duh) but that if I think it’s serious enough to go to the ER but otherwise to call at 8:30 a.m. when their office opens and try and get an appointment.
I call Kevin back and we facetime for the next 40 minutes as he’s trying to walk me through using the at-home ultrasound machine we have to check to see if Erp is moving or not. Kevin’s concern is that I was having a pulmonary embolism but thankfully the pain continued to move up into my throat and wasn’t so centrally located on my chest so he told me to try and sleep for the remaining two hours of the evening. When I woke up at 6 a.m. the pain was gone completely. I think what had happened was the cold moved into my chest and a collection of mucus was sitting in my lungs that were compressed by Erp and made for a painful combination. Then I apparently had hacked enough of it out that the pain was no longer there. But who knows, really. All I know is I’m so grateful that I woke up feeling less sick, without the chest pain, and that I’ve felt kicks to reassure me that she’s still alive.
Given last night’s adventures I decided to say fuck it and wore tennis shoes paired with compression socks to work. For an office that doesn’t allow jeans I was concerned how they’d be received so I asked my most judgmental coworker and she gave me the all clear. I can’t tell you how happy my feet were!!!
Tonight was my work holiday party that I coordinated and thankfully it was a great success! I wore the dress I got from Stitch Fix which highly displayed my pregnancy so people felt comfortable asking me about due dates and whatnot. Love having easy common ground to talk about :) Going into the event I was planning to only stay for a short while but I ended up staying three hours until my feet (stuffed into wedges) couldn’t take standing anymore. Amazingly, I was really social and mingled with more investors than I’d ever mixed with before so I was proud of my efforts! And I had fun!
Hopefully, I’ll get an actual good night sleep tonight and I’ll wake up feeling even better.
