#-s.c.

I always find it funny when people shit on us sociopaths who have spent years healing from our trauma. Of course I come off a lot friendlier than a young newbie to the diagnosis. It took a lot of unlearning my childhood conditioning to get to that point. In fact, there are plenty of us, who were diagnosed decades ago, that may have made even more progress than I currently have. There's more to me than my cluster of trauma responses. There always will be. Do not mistake my kindness for naivete. I, like anyone else in the world, have the capacity to do horrible things without giving a fuck. There is a stark difference between what I think and do. I get fucked up thoughts and urges like anyone else with this condition. I choose not to act on them because I logically know it wouldn't be wise or correct. I don't need to feel guilty or remorseful to introspect on the impact of my actions. As an adult, I learned how to utilize compassion and cognitive empathy. I also learned about the nature of neuroplasticity, which has been invaluable to me. I know what it's like to be on the receiving end of chronic, brutal abuse. I don't need to feel anyone's pain to understand that I would not want to pass that onto the next generation. I try my best to keep myself in line for the sake of self-accountability. These days, I feel much more hopeful about people like myself making progress than I did when I was younger. We are not "doomed by the narrative" of our condition. I believe in you. I believe in me. I believe in us.