Exotrauma and insystem trauma is just so weird cause really you could never talk anywhere without it sounding crazy.
Like. Who the fuck am I supposed to tell about some guy that manipulated me into working for him years and abused me during the whole thing? What about all that other exotrauma? Like being kidnapped and forced to join a circus? All the shit I had to deal with him from the circus. And so many other events.
And what about the many times I was kidnapped in our system and dealt with so much random bullshit? Like. There's something I refuse to mention publicly, but it'll sound so fucking absurd so I can't even if I wanted to. But I can remember what happened and especially one guy from it Too well.
All of this shit I can remember. And I have trauma responses frequently related to it. To me it feels as real as the body/our collective trauma. But it'll never be as acceptable as it.
To me our system will never feel fully safe, as more insystem trauma could happen at anytime.
(I know some bitch is going to comment "Go to therapy" under this or whatever. We. Can't. Right now. It's not always possible for everyone)
