I feel guilty when my exotrauma actually effects me i feel like im somehow doing something wrong by "allowing" it to effect me
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I feel guilty when my exotrauma actually effects me i feel like im somehow doing something wrong by "allowing" it to effect me
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Why do these things that never even happened hurt me so much?
and why must we still fight, even now?
Having exotrauma from something that didnt even happen in source hurts
Tw: Sexual abuse mention below
ILOVEMYHUSBAND
Exotrauma presenting to an extreme degree: anyone else?
We have an introject of Bucky Barnes and one of an OC, Dennis, with a very similar story. A long time ago, we had already recognized the poem Boots by Rudyard Kipling as a trigger, and I believe Bucky has posted about it on this blog before under the tag ‘James’ posts’.
We’ve avoided the recording like the plague. But we heard it again. And as soon as we recognized it, we froze. We couldn’t stop listening. Over and over again, until it was stuck and repeating to the point where we started hallucinating it even when the physical sound had stopped.
This episode of sorts resulted in us repeatedly throwing up for a long time, several hours on and off, a physical reaction to the traumatic exomemories that poem triggered.
Of course we hydrated as much as we could in between and afterwards, but we could barely keep anything down. Even water.
We’ve calmed down mostly, and were able to hydrate properly.
Does anyone else have similar reactions to exotrauma?
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
"You dont remember what she looks like? Just make something up!"/ref
unfortunately in my universe my hikaru didn't come back, ever.
I keep telling myself to not agonize over imagined hardships, but i forget one of my loves also is missing.
at least people got to mourn him this time
I forgot how Not Fun being a fictive can be. Our host has been grieving for almost 3 MONTHS over its boyfriend's in-source death.
I (the one writing this post, not Avery) was quite literally only split to hold his grief.
We've had to block the slimeknight tag and Avery's only allowed to open posts with that tag if I or Derek are cofronting. Because ae goes into a depressive state every time ae sees something too sad. And even if it’s happy, hy thinks about it too much and becomes sad again.
It wasn’t even right after DAWTDE that I split either. It was just a random Tuesday when the grief got really bad again.
We even have a D3rlord3 fictive that bug's dating in-sys, (who mind you, formed right after DAWTDE to comfort bug), but it still wasn’t enough to make bug feel okay
Is it weird to say this is the most any of us have ever grieved? People in our (irl) family have died and we just feel numb thinking about them. This feels like I have a knife driven through my heart every time I think about DAWTDE again.
Hy’s still not doing the best,,, but hy's a little happier now that there’s 2 headmates split specifically to help hymn feel better. Greedy /lighthearted
I really Do Not like exotrauma
(just for referece, avery goes by he/it/ae/hy/pup/bug/sli/goop . Go saysomething nice to hymn @avery-the-slimeboy if you want)
