seen from Australia
seen from Japan
seen from Austria
seen from United States
seen from Türkiye
seen from New Zealand
seen from Italy
seen from China
seen from Türkiye
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Japan
seen from Germany
seen from China
seen from United States
seen from China
seen from Germany
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seen from United States
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Not actually triggered... unless a sense of being dizzy/floaty and quiet humming fear and 'that isn't how it really works (why did i think that? why do I feel that so strongly? of course it isn't how it really works)' and 'i...don't want to think about this' is being...yeah.
It'd be unnerving and scary to anyone.
We are not special.
It doesn't mean anything.
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Hey, other Constel. 3 sections and whoever else-- there's a poll running in SP until September 25 about whether we try DBR in therapy at the end of that month, after Cobalt-4's session on the 5th. Please have as many of your section's members vote as possible. (In DBR, you do not have to talk aloud about trauma. You don't have to tell the therapist anything, you just focus on body sensations and adjacent stuff.)
Hmmmmmmm....seemingly failing at making getting off an even mediocre experience for a second time feels real bad. I don't know what I'm doing wrong.
I thought maybe last time I didn't get, you know, warmed up enough so I tried. I thought I did a good job this time. I even tried to be much slower with the actual action, gentler with the toy's levels. I had a nice audio and mental images and all of it, the stuff you're supposed to do, I guess. It should have been okay at least. It shouldn't have fizzled out only a few minutes in and then gotten physically painful, right?
It just...felt really 'eh' then it got too much (even when I tried to back off) and now my stomach hurts in a bad physical pain way like it did last time. It's like a stomach ache, or cramps. We didn't even put anything in the body! We don't do that, just external toys.
The other guy in co who was excited to try with me is now really upset. He thinks this is proof we are broken...
I don't know what I'm hoping for by posting this. Maybe someone knows what's happening and how make it not happen? Obviously other parts can have and do succeed at this so what am I doing wrong? There has to be a reason that isn't 'being broken', right? Right? ):
Magical Noopys ARE IN MY HOUSE. :3
Syskin/concord caninekin (namely dog and wolf) + POSSIBLY Pvrker and the Commander? It varies between us (some of us fully identify with the label and all 3 kintypes, some of us feel them much more weakly, some only feel a connection -- which can vary itself in strength -- with some or just one, and some don't identify with any at all) and of course the introjects are their own thing, but...this may be right? I dunno.
It feels easier to apply the kintypes as a blanket and then note who differs in what way? More useful too-- might help us with identifying each other when blurry.
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Okay to correct Answer...it said IgG, which is NOT the same as the IgM subtype. If it was IgM it would be way more scary.
Thinking about uh...the therapist suggested to AR that we try deep brain reorienting since it allows processing without having to talk about the trauma aloud. She also mentioned ART again.
I'm sitting here reading about both and wondering whether we're just a tough case, or not trying hard enough, or what. When the others did CPT, it worked...for Wolf. It didn't diffuse. Someone's worried about that-- that we will be in therapy forever, doomed to process over and over and over, because one part working through things doesn't automatically mean everyone else has that file unmarked too, assuming we as a group ever get well resourced enough with phase 1 skills.
I know you can flow back and forth through phase 1 and 2, but it just feels like it's never ever going to end. I know other parts worry we are frustrating our T with our kind of circular bullshit...
