I’m closeted. Mike is closeted. That weight is pretty heavy. I’m thinking this as I’m drawing a couple slides of him running through the upside down.

Holy shit it’s so sad I can’t look at it. I might actually delete this from the feed. Feeling those monday blues hard.

Would 90s Emo Mike Wheeler go to college and listen to Rites of Spring between 1990 and 1992? Eventually Embrace in the late 90s? I think so.

I'd like to think he'd find a DIY punk band to join and actually figure himself out. + write some mad angsty lyrics

i know that there will be a lot of pride month posts going around right now, and that this one may be left of field but:

for every selfshipper who is still in the closet

for every selfshipper who doesn’t know if they’ll ever be able to come out of the closet

for every selfshipper who is scared

for every selfshipper who was not accepted by those around them

for every selfshipper who isn’t out even to the queer people in their lives

for every selfshipper who only gets to be themselves with their f/o

for every selfshipper who does not know who they are yet

for every selfshipper who many struggle during pride month and feel guilty for such

for every selfshipper who does not feel seen even right now

for every selfshipper who is only out on the internet

for every selfshipper who is only out to the close people in their lives

for every selfshipper who needs to hear it this pride:

your f/o loves you as you are.

i love you as you are.

you deserve sunshine.

we deserve sunshine.

you are still queer, for rainbows still exist even when the weather doesn’t allow them to be seen. dms are open always, but especially at this time 🩷

you know there’s nothing you can do to make them understand.

you can explain it to them, sure.

but they’ll never truly be at peace with your decision.

they’ll want grandkids.

a church wedding.

this is why I’ll never come out to my parents.

because how can they understand that their bloodline with end with me?

they’ll be no one after.

I will never explain myself.

I was closeted for six years, in a queer relationship for five of them. My family did not know because they would not have supported me, in fact my home life could have genuinely become dangerous. However, during this time their views slowly started changing because of new friends they made and experiences they had.

Last year I came out to them. And it went better than I ever expected. My parents asked if I had a new name I wanted to go by, use my pronouns, ask what terms I prefer. They ask about my partner and invite them to family events.

Change can take years, but it can happen. You might find support from people you never expected to support you.

And if this month feels more complicated than celebratory for you, I hope you know that you are not alone in that.

For some people, Pride is joy, community, and finally feeling seen. For others, it is a reminder of everything they still cannot say out loud, every part of themselves they have had to hide, every conversation they are not ready for, every place where safety and authenticity still feel impossible to have at the same time.

Maybe you are questioning. Maybe you know exactly who you are but do not have the freedom to express it. Maybe you are grieving years spent trying to become someone else. Maybe you are watching people celebrate openly while wondering when, or if, that will ever be possible for you.

Whatever your relationship with Pride is, I hope you are gentle with yourself this month. There is no deadline for self-discovery, no minimum amount of confidence required to belong, and no version of queerness that is more deserving of love, community, or acceptance than another.

And if all you can do right now is quietly exist, quietly learn about yourself, quietly hold onto the hope that one day life will feel bigger and safer than it does today, that is enough.

You do not have to be loud to belong here. You do not have to have everything figured out. You do not have to become more palatable, more certain, or more courageous before you deserve happiness.

I hope this month brings you moments that remind you there is nothing wrong with who you are, and that somewhere out there is a future where you do not have to choose between being yourself and being safe, where your identity is not something you have to defend, explain, or apologize for, but simply a part of you that is loved as naturally as the rest.