#((standalone))

The husband? Debra had never really loved Paul, and the man was rarely around anyways. The children? A trio of brats who took up all of her time when they were young then abandoned her once they got older. The house? Big, empty, and a bitch to clean. On top of that, living in a gated community away from the city meant she had nowhere to go and only got to interact with the most insipid kind of woman... stay-at-home-moms.

And the worst part was that she’d become one of them.

The true story was that Debra had been a wild young girl with big dreams she’d been forced to cast aside after getting pregnant in high school- abortion wasn't legal in her state. Paul Mitchell was an unremarkable young man from homeroom she'd only slept with out of boredom, but to his credit, he stepped up to take care of her and the baby and had even worked his way into becoming a successful lawyer.

And then he'd moved Debra to the nicest neighborhood he could find and abandoned his wife to the home and the children while he spent all of his time at work, with little regard for how that would make her feel. After all, Debra didn't have to work, the house was paid off, the three kids were healthy, the kitchen had a special closet just for wine... theoretically, the woman should want for nothing.

But to her, it felt like want was all she ever got to do.

She was forever mourning the excitement of her youth that had been stolen from her, something no amount of money or free time could ever buy back. She missed being carefree, beautiful, and full of energy... and most of all, she missed sex beyond the boring missionary position she was forced to endure from her husband on the rare nights he wasn't at the office.

Her life was boring, no passion, no spice, nothing to break up the endless monotony of her days.

Well, almost.

"Oh I'm just so excited," Ruth exclaimed. "I think you're really gonna get a kick out of this one!"

Ruth Hernandez was Debra's neighbor, a short Filipino woman who had decided that because the two of them lived next door to each other, she and Debra should be best friends. Debra personally found the woman annoying as all-get-out (cloying and naïve) BUT she was one of the few people in the community who never judged Debra for her bad attitude, so she at least tolerated her neighbor's company. Anything was better than boredom, even being pestered from time to time.

Ruth's family had moved next door about five years ago- Ruthie, her husband Marco, and their two kids (who Debra avoided like the plague). Said husband was an engineer for some big tech company, so Ruth was always dragging Debra over to the Fernandez home to show her some "incredible" new piece of tech that inevitably wound up being underwhelming.

But today's invention, Ruth promised, would be much different.

"Here it is!" Ruth beamed as she gestured towards a round globe on a table. About the size and of a beach ball, the orb was constructed of an opaque silver plastic with gold-tinted circuitry dotting the surface– a tablet was plugged into it, and there were two black indentations on opposite sides of the device.

It looked like a disco ball someone had kicked in.

"Wow Ruth, it's, uh..." Debra wracked her brain to come up with a compliment but came up empty, so she just gave up and sighed. "What the hell is this supposed to be Ruth?"

"We aren't supposed to tell anyone outside of the family but I was just bursting at the seams, I had to share this secret with someone!" Ruth squealed, and Debra winced at the noise. "This machine can switch people's minds!"

Oh no, Debra thought to herself. Ruth's finally lost it.

"I should get going," she said, making sure not to turn her back on Ruth as she scooted towards the door. "Austin might be home from school and uh, you know..."

"You don't believe me," Ruth pouted for a moment, but then shook it off. "It sounds cuckoo but it's true! The whole family tried it out last night and it's such a hoot."

"Oh, well, if it was a hoot, then that changes things!"

"I'll show you!" Ruth ran over to Debra and grabbed her hand, tugging her over to the machine. "Let's try it out, then you'll see what a genius my husband is."

Debra stared at the machine, glowing silver ball that it was, and then up at the painfully cheerful smile on Ruth's face as she beamed at Debra. With a sigh, Debra set her wine glass down and put her hand on the machine, just to humor her neighbor.

Maybe it'll fry my brain, she mused hopefully.

But then the damned thing worked.

Suddenly Debra was staring at herself across the room and it was lik looking in a mirror to find her reflection had gone rogue- only when she caught sight of her actual reflection, she had knee-jerk reaction at the sight of Ruth's face before realizing wait, now it was her face. Her old body was squealing like an idiot and chattering on about something, but Debra did what she did best and tuned out Ruth's background noise as she took in the impossibility of the situation.

Although the two women were of a similar height and build, Ruthie was a pretty woman with skin tanner than Debra could ever dream of achieving, and from the inside, further differences in their bodies became obvious- Ruth's body had more energy, more flexibility, and the constant threat of a low-grade migraine didn't seem to plague her. Shit, if Debra felt like this all the time, maybe she wouldn't be so crabby.

"Oh my gosh Debra, being you is so strange!" Ruth exclaimed- for reasons known only to her, the woman was moving her hands around in front of her like she was an astronaut drifting through space. She made a wrong movement and winced, reaching down to rub at her side. "I keep telling you, you've really gotta join me for yoga one of these days! I can feel how blocked your chakras are"

"Sure Ruth," Debra brushed her neighbor off like she did every time the woman brought it up- although after feeling the effects firsthand, she had to admit that Ruth had a point. Twisting her arms behind her just to feel them stretch, Debra glanced down at her chest and snorted. "Shit, it's not fair how perky your tits are."

"Oh Debra, you're such a wildcard!" Ruth giggled, and then she contorted Debra's face into an unfamiliar expression- a grin. "Listen, I thought that we could play a little trick on our families! One of those pranks the kids are always going on about. You pretend to be me, and I'll go over to your house and pretend to be you."

Debra resisted the urge to roll her eyes. "And what exactly would that accomplish?"

"I just think they'd get a kick out of it when we tell them what we did!" Ruth smiled big and wide, which looked strange with Debra's usually stern face, and Debra blinked in surprise. When was the last time she had seen herself look that happy?

Perhaps some time on the other side of the picket fence might do her some good.

"Alright," Debra assented. "It's a deal."

Part 2:

Debra was STILL bored out of her mind.

Ruth had departed in excitement shortly after the swap, eager to "immerse" herself in Debra's life, leaving the real Debra alone to slowly confront the fact the swap hadn't really changed anything; she was still a middle-aged housewife stuck in the suburbs, just one door down and a little darker now.

Basically, there was fuck-all to do in Ruth's house. Her eldest son Conrad ("my little Conman" Ruth called him) was allegedly home from college, but Debra had seen no trace of him thus far, leaving her alone to rifle through all of the drawers in Ruth's bedroom (nothing juicy other than some frilly lingerie), flip through her DVD collection (so many boring feelgood films), and take her bra off just for the hell of it (really, it was unfair how much nicer Ruth's tits were).

That comprised all of her ideas to make the situation interesting, so she was halfway through a bottle of her old faithful (wine) when something interesting did walk into the room... Conrad Hernandez.

The young man flashed his "mother" a sunny smile and breezed past her towards the fridge, completely oblivious to the way the woman was openly gaping at the sight of what a handsome stud he was.

Holy shit, Ruth's son is a smoke show, Debra thought to herself in disbelief.

In her dim recollections of the few times she'd met Conrad when he was younger, Debra remembered him as a skinny, unremarkable thing, but apparently his time away at college had done him well, his clothes tight in a way that suggested he'd been growing a lot recently and his wardrobe hadn't quite caught up with the muscle that now packed his short frame. He looked more like a porn star than the boy-next-door, and when he bent over to pick something up off the bottom shelf of the fridge and his big fat ass hung there in the air Debra-

Look, perhaps it was inappropriate to lust after her neighbor's son while she was in the body of his mother, but damn it! Debra was practically in heat at the sight of all that man. Neither Ruth nor Debra's husbands were really much to look at, unlike Conrad, who had a LOT to look at, especially in the front when he turned around and Debra's eyes zeroed in on the impressive bulge at the front of his shorts.

"Uh, mom?" Conrad asked, the muscles in his arms flexing unintentionally as he poured himself a cup of juice. "What are you looking at?"

Belatedly, Debra realized that she had been openly ogling, so she tore her eyes away from Conrad's crotch and tried to look him in the eyes, but her eyes got stuck in the middle of him when she caught sight of his pecs- good lord, the things were practically bursting out of his top.

Nice racks run in the family... Debra mused, eyeing the way his nipples poked through his shirt.

"Are you alright mama?" Asked Conrad, and the genuine in concern in his voice made Debra roll her eyes- Ruth's family really was sickening. "You aren't smiling today. Did something happen?"

Irritated at the cloying display, Debra snapped. "What was that young man? I don't need an excuse to be unhappy. You have no idea how hard it is to be a housewife and a mother you ungrateful little–"

Debra paused. Of course he had no idea what it was like. Conrad was just a hot young thing with no worries, no responsibilities, a beautiful body, and his whole life ahead of him.

A wicked idea occurred to her– perhaps this wasn't exactly what Debra had had in mind when she'd wished for a break, but when a golden skinned opportunity presented itself, she wasn't going to turn away.

"Actually, something did happen Conrad," she said, her sullen glare overpowering the natural sweetness of Ruthie's face. "I know you're a big shot college man now, but do you think that gives you the right to eat us out of house and home when you come for a visit?"

Confused, Conrad glanced down at the single cup of juice in his hands and sheepishly set it down on the counter. "Oh, uh, sorry? I can–"

"And you're just going to leave that cup on the counter? Without even using a coaster?" Debra crossed her arms and glared at her fake son. "I suppose you expect me to clean up after you too too, like I'm some kind of maid."

"What?" Conrad gaped, unsure how to handle this bizarre outburst from his mother. "Mama, I–"

"And now you're talking back me!" Debra shouted- it wasn't difficult for her to reach into her well of bitterness to make the performance convincing. Rising to her feet, she slammed both of her hands down on the table, smiling internally when the strapping young man jumped in response. "That's it, I'm giving you a punishment young man."

Conrad looked confused. "Mom, I'm twenty-four years old, you can't ground me."

"Well as long as you're under this roof, you follow my rules!" Debra reached over and grabbed Conrad by the ear like he was a little boy. "You're coming with me young man."

Stacked as he was with muscle, Conrad could easily have pulled away from her, but like a good son he meekly followed along with the woman he thought was his mother as she dragged him into the other room and deposited him in front of the body swapping machine she and Ruth had used earlier.

"Hand on the machine," she commanded, but Conrad, recognizing the machine, kept his hands by his sides.

"Dad's body swapping thing? You can't be serious," Conrad deadpanned. "Is this one of those pranks you heard about? You gotta stop watching those TikTok videos mama."

"Oh I'm deadly serious young man, I think a little bit of time in my shoes is just what you need to fix your bad behavior." A flimsy excuse, but Debra didn't have to convince him that she was in the right- she just had to convince him that she was his mother. "Listen to your mother."

She put both hands pointedly on the machine, and Conrad, good son that he was, did the same. In a flash, the two were staring at each other from the other side.

Even before she made a single movement, Debra could tell that being Conrad was going to be good; becoming a young, strong man was an instant rush unlike anything the woman had experienced. Even just standing there breathing, the way her powerful chest swelled up as she breathed made her feel invincible and he wanted nothing more than to run her hands all over this tight skin to get more familiar with the sexy body she'd stolen... but with the real Conrad right there, she just barely managed to restrain herself.

"Oh my god... I'm my own mom!" Conrad grabbed at his chest but then seemed to realize that those were his mom's boobs he was touching and he dropped them in disgust. "This is so weird."

"I'll say..." Debra muttered as she shifted her legs, feeling an unfamiliar weight nestled between thick thighs- she suppressed the urge to grin and slipped back on the facade of a disapproving mother. "We're going to stay like this until you've learned your lesson!"

"But mama, you know all my friends from school are coming over for the pool party in half an hour," Conrad protested.

A pool party? With college kids? Debra grinned- this was turning out better than she'd hoped. "Why don't you make us some snacks then?"

Part 3:

Ruth had a tendency to go on and on about her kids so Debra had long ago learned to tune her out, but maybe she would have paid a bit more attention if she'd known that one of her neighbor’s spawn was an absolute stud.

She’d wasted no time excusing herself from the kitchen and retreating to Conrad’s room (bounding up the stairs two at a time on strong legs) where, safe behind a closed door, Debra could drop the facade of being the boy’s mother and reveal her true intentions… among other things. After decades of unsatisfying sex with her bland husband, Debra was all-too-eager to get some time alone with a more desirable male form- if she had to be in it for that to happen, then so be it.

There was a convenient mirror in the corner of the room and Debra stepped in front of it, taking a moment to study the reflection of her borrowed form. Conrad had a sweet face with big eyes, a round nose, and short black hair; his skin was a delicious caramel brown and had the tight, wrinkle free softness that Debra’s had lost long ago. Out of curiosity, Debra tested a smile, watching as the boy in the mirror beamed at her.

“Hi there Mrs. Mitchell!” She called in Conrad’s warm tenor, and she waved at herself, batting Conrad’s eyelashes in a parody of boy-next-door innocence. “It’s me, Conrad! I was just wondering if you wanted me to do a little show for you!”

And with that, Debra lifted Conrad’s arms into a double bicep pose and gawked at the size of the things- like his mother, he was on the shorter side (maybe 5’6’’ if Debra had to guess) but it worked in his favor because the proportions made his bulging muscles look massive. His chest in particular jutted out further than Debra had ever seen on a man, so she brought both of his hands up to cradle them, groaning as she kneaded the perky handfuls of muscles through his shirt.

Why the hell am I still wearing a shirt? Debra wondered, and she locked eyes with Conrad in the mirror, staring at him as she slowly, sensually, stripped his top off to reveal a pair of fat pecs with perky nipples and a six-pack to die for.

Running her hands over his abs, Debra thought back to her own husband- he was a good man, but he hadn’t been all that much to begin with and over the years he’d really let himself go, so to feel this young flesh beneath her fingers was intoxicating. More than intoxicating, it was arousing, and Conrad’s body was starting to have some opinions on the new management.

It was Debra’s first time having a penis, but she was pretty sure she was getting a boner- she couldn’t think of any other explanation for why the front of Conrad’s pants were feeling so tight all of the sudden. The bulge in the front was starting to look rather uncomfortable, and responsible body borrower that Debra was, she figured it was time to set the poor thing free.

A moment later she was bare naked and staring at the nicest dick she’s ever seen in real life. That it would be better than her husband’s was no question, but even in her wildest fantasies she didn’t dare dream about something this much better! At half-mast, Conrad’s penis was a thick brown thing that hung low to the floor, uncircumcised with two heavy balls hanging beneath it; even the slightest touch of it made Debra shiver, the sensitive nerves of the boy’s cock awakening feelings in her that she didn’t even know she’d ever had.

God, Debra hadn’t felt this free and uninhibited since she was a kid! We weight was lifted off of her thanks to Conrad's strong shoulders. The woman stared down at her hot young male body, past those pretty pecs and amazing abs, and cackled with glee as she bounced his fat cock around between her legs.

The door flew open and Conrad stuck his head in.

"Mom, my friends are–" he froze when he saw what she was doing. "Mom! Gross! Don't look at my naked body like that!"

"I gave birth to you son," Debra lied, putting both hands on her borrowed hips and angling her crotch forwards vindictively. “It's nothing I haven't seen before."

Conrad averted his eyes, his face burning at the sight of his own cock hanging out like that. "Just– just put something on before you head downstairs, okay?"

Conrad exited looking traumatized and Debra turned her attention to Conrad’s closet, shifting through his options until she found the perfect outfit– a barely there pair of bright yellow swim shorts that made his ass look padded and his bulge look indecent. No shirt, of course, and as Debra admired the muscled young stud in the mirror, she saw her crotch jump as her new cock twitched in its fabric prison.

Soon, she thought, giving it a friendly pat.

Conrad Chan’s body was her ticket to her orgasm, and one of those kids out there was going to help her find it.

Part 4:

It’d been ages since Debra had been to a pool party- most of the houses in their community had pools, including hers. Why would she bother going to swim at someone else’s? And not that she ever swam either, her bikini body days long behind her.

But for the past few hours, Debra had been having fun in the sun. As she let Conrad’s powerful body propel her through the water, she thought that maybe it wasn’t so bad if you were in the right shape for it. The shape in this case was a Filipino stud with a killer body, and as she pushed herself up out of the pool and felt the water cascading down her body, dripping from her pecs onto her abs, and lifted her giant arm to shake the water out of her perfect hair, Debra felt like a god.

Some of Conrad’s college friends (there were like twelve of them and so Debra didn’t bother to learn their names) jeered at him semi-ironically, and Debra flashed a smile and turned her back to them, putting two fingers beneath Conrad’s ample ass cheeks and bouncing his behind mischievously. It was a co-ed group of kids, but boys and girls alike had all been ogling Conrad’s body all afternoon, so Debra was basking in the attention. Who could blame them? Conrad’s posse were a good looking group of kids, but Conrad was clearly the hottest.

Still, despite having a body built for sin, Debra got the vibe that Conrad wasn’t screwing any of these people, which seemed like a waste to her. What was the point of being young and hot if you weren’t going to screw around? Granted, when she’d done it it had led to her getting pregnant and destroying her life, but that wasn’t a problem for her right now. Right now, the only problem was figuring out which of the party goers she wanted to screw.

One of Conrad’s friends, a light skinned black boy named Julien with a pretty face and a promising bulge in the front of his trunks, lingered a bit too long on the sight of Conrad’s ass long after everyone else had looked away, and it wasn’t just a friendly gaze. Debra's heart pounded– how long had it been since someone had looked at her like that? With desire, want in their eyes. It was intoxicating.

To hell with subtlety.

“Dicks, huh?” She said as she plopped herself down next to Julien, putting one hand on her crotch and grabbing as much of it as she could. “So hard to manage. You look like you might have a nice one.”

Julien choked on his drink.

Part 6:

From his place of exile in the kitchen, Conrad seethed with anger as he watched through the window his mom cavorting about in the sun with his friends. Where the hell had this come from anyways? His mom was usually so sweet and understanding! Maybe not the brightest woman, but certainly never one to be so... vindictive.

Or shameless, Conrad thought as he watched his mom flex his biceps for one of his friends to feel. Damn, he looked fucking good, and he wasn't even the one who got to take advantage of it!

A knock at the side door to the kitchen shook him out of his thoughts, and he peeked out the door to see their weird neighbor Debra waiting outside with a huge smile on her face.

"Hello there neighbor!" The woman chirped. "I just came over to borrow a cup of sugar, if you don't mind."

"Oh, uh, sure," Conrad wanted to tell her to get lost, but he didn't want to accidentally cause drama between his mom and her friend, so he stepped back and she came skipping into the room like she owned the place.

Conrad had barely seen their neighbor since his teen days but from the few encounters they'd had, he'd always gotten the impression that she was a sad, angry, anti-social woman, and maybe that was unfair of him because the woman in front of him seemed to be radiating happiness.

Unsure of what his mother would say to their neighbor, he decided to keep it generic. "How are you doing Debra?

"Oh, you know, the same as always," Debra winked at him like they shared a secret. "Ruth. I'm just the same old Debra, and you're the same old Ruth!"

"Uh-huh." The woman's enthusiasm for seemingly nothing made Conrad uncomfortable, and he wanted to get her out of here as soon as possible so he could get back to keeping an eye on his body. "You said you needed sugar, right? Let me get that for you so you can get back home."

"Back home?" At that, Debra burst out laughing, so hard she had to lean over and place her hands on Conrad's shoulders. "Oh, this is just too much Debra! I'm still buzzing that we did this!"

Conrad stepped back, confused. "Wait, why are you calling me Debra?"

"It's just the two of us, you can drop the act now," Debra sucked in a few breaths to collect herself and smiled at Conrad. "I tell you Debra, this switch has been so much fun! No one at your house suspects a thing! And how are things over here? I hope my little Conman hasn't been too much of a handful."

"Little Conman..." That was his mom's nickname for him. Why would Debra...? Did she say switch? The wheels in Conrad's mind turned as he processed this information, then the answer struck him. "Wait, MOM? Is that you in there? It's me, Conrad!"

"Conrad?" Ruth did a double take as she scrutinized her own body, then her eyes widened- a mother knows. "Conrad! My little Conman! What's going on?"

"What do YOU mean what's going on?" Conrad burst out. "What the hell- I mean, what are you doing in Debra's body?"

"We swapped this morning so we could play a prank on everyone!" Ruth exclaimed. "What are you doing in my body?!"

"You-" Conrad corrected himself. "I mean she made me swap with you this morning as punishment for something! She has been in my body all day!" Images from throughout the day came flashing back to the young man, with one in particular burning a hole in his memory. "Oh god, she was looking at my dick!"

"She was WHAT?!" That got Ruth's attention, and the woman was now about as angry as her sunny disposition would allow her to be. "Oh that vile woman! Where is she now?

Mother and son rushed to the window and frantically scanned the backyard by the pool, eyes picking through the gaggle of college kids, his but his body was nowhere to be found.

Both of them froze.

"Oh no," they said in unison.

Part 7:

Ruth had been so excited about renovating her little pool house into a “guest house,” but in reality, the place was little more than a bedroom… still, Debra thought as she shoved Julien onto the bed, that’s all we need.

Debra turned around for a moment to lock the door behind them, and when she turned back, Julien had already wiggled his way out of his swim trunks and was lying there naked- she drank in the sight of his brown, muscled body and beautiful cock, and she could barely believe that this was real and he was here for her. It was like a scene from one of those “horny housewife screws her son’s sexy black friend” videos she didn’t even bother hiding that she watched, except with one big difference that was currently fighting its way out of her shorts.

Debra tugged the skimpy yellow fabric down and freed the beast, Conrad’s huge cock instantly rising up to tap hello to his abs, and Julien’s eyes lit up with lust; THAT was maybe the sexiest thing for Debra. It was the ultimate fantasy that she’d never thought to dream up- not just hooking up with a young stud, but being one too.

She hurled herself on top of him and their bodies blended together and became a smorgasbord; she didn’t know whose muscles she was groping, Julien’s or Conrad’s, but she didn’t give a fuck because everything felt so amazing. The woman could barely conceal her hunger as she tried to make up for lost time, but luckily, she didn’t have to, because Julien seemed just into it as well.

"Fuck you're so hot," Julien breathed out, both of his hands full of Conrad’s fat pecs.

“And that’s just the front,” Debra teased, making her chest jump. “Wanna check out the back?”

Julien didn’t need to be asked twice.

One of the young man's hands made its way down to Debra's backside and he spanked it, hard, then buried his fingers deep into the plush flesh of one of Conrad's bubbly ass cheeks and kneaded it like dough. Debra threw her head back and moaned, a masculine groan that only got deeper when Julien worked his way down to Conrad's thick neck and sucked in at his pulsepoint.

Lost in ecstasy, it took Debra a moment to register what strange pressure between the hills of Conrad's cheeks was- one of Julien's fingers teased at the young man's tight (presumably virgin) hole, slowly teasing it open, and Debra saw stars when the first digit slipped in. Lord, it had been ages since her husband had fingered her, and even then, he wasn't nearly as skilled as this youngster was. Granted Julien did have a much easier job fingering an asshole instead of a vagina, but she couldn’t deny the boy displayed expert precision as he worked his fingers in one by one, twirling them around and stretching his partner wider and wider as he prepared for the main event, which Debra now felt tapping against her hole.

Having learned her lesson about unprotected sex long ago, Debra pulled herself together long enough to grab one of the condoms she'd stashed in the pool house earlier and toss it to Julien- belatedly, she realized that an unexpected pregnancy wasn't possible when she had a cock and balls bouncing between her legs, but Julien didn't seem at all annoyed as he rolled the rubber down his shaft, and he was back on Debra a moment later.

Then he was in her.

For a while when she'd been in Conrad's room, having a blast bouncing his giant dick around, she'd been very tempted to see what it would be like to get to fuck someone with it, but in the end, her old yearning had won out- she'd been waiting so long to get fucked by a real man, and as she felt Julien’s cock slipping into Conrad’s hole, she knew she'd made the right choice.

Conrad's beefy ass had a wonderful recoil and the way those firm cheeks shook as they slapped into Julien's hips as he pounded away made her feel invincible, which was a damn good thing because Julien was really going to town. Debra could tell from the ferocity with which the boy was panting that he’d been just as hungry to fuck Conrad as she’d been to get fucked period, so she was glad she could make both of their dreams come true.

She could feel Conrad’s heavy cock swinging between her legs, tapping her torso like a metronome keeping time with Julien’s thrusts, so hard it almost hurt, and it gave a little spurt of something when Julien hit Conrad’s prostate; Debra turned and sank her teeth into one of the thick biceps holding her up, biting into the muscle as she muffled a scream of pleasure.

They continued fucking like that for a few minutes, the train Julien ran on Conrad’s ass driving Debra closer and closer to the orgasm she so desperately craved, until suddenly, the tempo of Julien’s thrusts faltered for a moment.

“Did you hear something?” he whispered, stopping with his dick half in/half out of Conrad’s asshole. “I think I heard someone yelling outside.”

Shit, Debra thought. “You didn’t hear anything, you just fucked me so hard you’re hallucinating. Keep going, I’m almost there!”

She pressed her hips back, trying to get Julien’s full length back inside in the hopes that he’d get back to work, but the boy was clearly spooked and pulled out all the way. Undeterred, she turned around and shoved him, using her big strong body to force him into a sitting position on the bed, his dick still sticking straight up invitingly. He seemed confused, which was ridiculous to Debra- what was there to be confused about it?

“Look at me, look at this body,” she flexed both of Conrad’s arms, two huge biceps rising up, then she waved her hips side to side and made the pillar of Conrad’s cock sway. “Be a good boy and finish what you started.”

Julien licked his lips as he looked Conrad’s body up and down, but the boy still seemed reluctant, so Debra made the choice for him- it figured that even when she was a man, she still had to do all the work.

She lowered herself down onto Julien’s cock without a hint of gentleness, and the boy spat out a curse as he felt his entire length be enveloped by Conrad’s pillowy cheeks in one fell swoop. With the help of Conrad’s powerful thighs, Debra began to piston his body up and down; Julien’s eyes practically rolled back in his head as his hot jock friend started bouncing in his dick like a porn star.

"Please, I need this," Debra panted

Someone was pounding at the door, but Debra didn't care. She could feel the pressure building up inside of her, glistening with sweat as she pushed her stolen body further and further, every one of Conrad’s muscles straining to match the desires of the hungry woman who controlled them. The pounding at the door was getting louder, and people were yelling, and through the haze of endorphins Julien looked panicked, but Debra didn’t care about him; she grabbed onto his shoulders and held him in place. The boy was nothing more than a living dildo for her at that point as she used his dick to hammer at Conrad’s prostate, each hit bringing her closer and closer to the thing she craved, the thing she needed, the thing she-

Unlike a female orgasm, which came in waves and left aftershocks, the male orgasm hit Debra like a volcano, an explosion of pleasure radiating from Conrad’s penis that was so sudden and intense it caused Debra to roar so loud she was sure Conrad’s deep voice would be heard throughout the whole neighborhood. Head thrown back in ecstasy, Debra savored every ounce of that wonderful feeling as Conrad’s dick pulsed, shooting out blast after blast of cum until the two brown skinned boys were splattered with white, and only when Conrad’s balls were emptied of every last drop did Debra peel herself off of Julien’s cock and collapse onto the bed next to him.

The door burst open as Ruth and the real Conrad rushed into the room in a panic; Julien, reeling from what had just happened and confused by the sudden appearance of two middle aged women, yelled and sprung out of bed. At the sight of his male friend naked, covered in cum, and still very hard, the real Conrad began to shriek at the top of his mother’s lungs, while his real mother tried to restrain him, and Julien awkwardly tried to cover up his dick with his hands and yelled for someone to explain things. People peeked in the door, chattering, trying to see what all the fuss was about.

But Debra didn’t hear any of that- her mind was miles away from the suburbs, floating on the afterglow of the best fuck of her life. She tucked Conrad’s arms behind her head and tried to savor the feeling of the boy’s toned muscles beneath her- it would definitely be the last time Ruth invited her over to mess around with the body swapping machine for sure.

Everyone began yelling at once but Debra tuned them out and instead focused on the feeling of the tight young body she was inhabiting, committing to memory the sensation of being a muscular young man. Even as everyone chastised her, she couldn't bring herself to regret it.

If the lonely housewife only ever got one day to live as a hot young man, she was glad she got to do it… with a bang.

It started with a ring.

Two, technically.

Yours–sleek, minimal, and gleaming beneath the studio lights.

And his plain silver, always partially hidden by his hoodie sleeve.

The studio was buzzing with familiar energy, soft banter, and dice clattering across the table, as someone had already accused Angela of cheating, probably with good reason. Being back with the Smosh Games crew felt like slipping into your favorite hoodie: comfortable, cozy, and just chaotic enough to keep you on your toes.

Your first filming day back, and they'd thrown you right into Board AF. Of course. No warmup. No easing in. Just instant conflict, weird rules, and loud accusations wrapped in plastic game boxes.

It felt good.

Except for the very real, very shiny ring on your left hand.

You had meant to take it off that morning. Swore up and down you wouldn't forget. You and Spencer had even gone shopping for a nice ring box where the ring would live when you two went to work. Every morning, you told yourself, "Left hand, dummy," as you would walk past your mirror, the shiny sparkle catching your eye.

But then Spencer, distracted you wandering into the shared bathroom, hair a mess, asking if you slept well and wanted to grab breakfast before heading to the studio together.

And you forgot just like that.

So now, there it was, the physical embodiment of a very recent Vegas wedding. One month ago to the day. Not even thirty full days since you said "I do" in front of an LED sign that read 'Til Death' and promised to love each other forever in front of a guy named Dennis, who was dressed as Elvis, and who also charged by the hour.

And you were wearing the proof of it.

On camera.

In 4k.

Next to the very man you married, who was currently trying to hide his matching ring beneath the sleeve of his hoodie, like that was going to fool the internet.

"Okay," Damien said, dramatically flicking the dice into the center of the board, "I'm just gonna say it, if Spencer wins again, I'm quitting the channel."

"You said that last time," Spencer chuckled, leaning back lazily in his seat. "You were back the next day."

"Don't challenge me, I've got dignity!"

Angela leaned in, "He really doesn't."

You smiled, trying not to look suspicious. Your hand itched to hide the ring, but moving it would draw more attention. Next to you, Angela was squinting at the rules like they were written in ancient Greek. "Okay, wait, so if I land here, I lose a coin unless I shout the name of a vegetable in under two seconds?"

Alex Tran, joked from offscreen, "Welcome to Board AF!"

You and Spencer shared a subtle look. Just a flicker of amused eyes, like a secret passed under the table.

It had only been a month, and you still felt like you were learning how to wear the title of spouse. It wasn't weird, but it was tender. A new kind of closeness. A little thrilling. A little terrifying.

And very, very private.

"Y/N" Angela asked, nudging you with her elbow, "you with us or are you calculating your next betrayal?"

"Huh?" You were startled back into reality, "Oh. Sorry. Betrayal, obviously."

"Hell yeah," Damien nodded. "Marriage material, honestly."

Spencer coughed, badly hiding a laugh.

Your face flushed. He looked away.

No one noticed. But the camera was still rolling.

And when you reached across the table to grab a game piece, your hand, your left hand landed perfectly in frame. The studio lights caught the ring just right, making it sparkle like a flare gun into the sky.

You didn't notice the slip.

Neither did the crew.

But the fans would.

The video had barely been up for twelve hours.

At first, it seemed like a normal upload day. Comments rolled in as usual, people yelling about dice rolls, calling Angela a menace, asking why Damien was so competitive over board games that made no sense.

Until one comment changed everything.

@smosh_xoxo: "Wait....is that a ring on Y/N's finger??? 👀💍"

It had five likes at first. Then twenty. Then two thousand.

And finally came the edits.

🎥 TikTok by @detectivestans4life Caption: “They thought we wouldn’t notice 😏” Audio: The “They don’t know” meme song Footage: A slowed-down clip of you reaching for the game piece. Zoomed. Cropped. Circled in red. Frame freeze. Cut to: Spencer, arms crossed, hoodie sleeve slipping just enough to expose his ring.

The comment section? A minefield of spiraling.

@spencersbajaqueen: “STOP. PAUSE. ENHANCE. HE’S WEARING ONE TOO. THIS ISN’T A DRILL.” @y/nstansince2019: “We’ve officially entered the soft launch apocalypse.” @smoshwitnessprotection: “So what I’m hearing is… they got MARRIED and thought we wouldn’t notice?? Oh, honey.”

Someone had found screengrabs of previous videos where Spencer was looking at you with loving eyes, how he laughed just a little harder when your turn on TNTL was up, and last but not least, the matching rings.

Someone else zoomed into your tagged photos and noticed a matching band on your left hand at a coffee shop in Silver Lake. One week post-wedding.

A third person posted a TikTok with side-by-side screenshots of every shared glance, subtle smile, and awkward shoulder brush between you and Spencer from past Smosh videos.

Other fans jumped in with unsettling speed and spreadsheet-level efficiency:

Timeline screenshots of Spencer and you both “going offline” a month ago for three days.

An old tweet of yours: “brb, making a questionable but romantic decision 👀”

A photo of a Vegas sign from Spencer’s private Instagram story (how they got it, you were clueless) that was posted exactly four weeks ago.

A blurry mirror selfie where a silver band could maybe, possibly, definitely be seen on your finger.

@gayforthechaos: “So let me get this straight… they ELOPED A MONTH AGO and have been lying to our faces ever since???”

@fbiwifeysquad: “They didn’t soft launch. They whispered it under their breath and hoped we’d never hear it.”

@spencersbajaqueen: “The ‘just married’ glow is literally in their faces. Look at how Y/N is smiling. LOOK AT HOW SPENCER LOOKS AT THEM. I'M IN SHAMBLES.”

The term #smoshwedding began trending by midnight. Followed by the theories of said wedding.

Had you eloped in Vegas? Was Courtney the maid of honor and just playing dumb? Did Shayne officiate while dressed as The Chosen?

And still, you and Spencer stayed silent.

No posts. No clarifications. No “haha guys calm down.”

Just... quiet.

Which only made it worse.

@softmarriedenergy: “THE WEDDING WAS A MONTH AGO?? ARE THEY STILL IN THE HONEYMOON PHASE RIGHT NOW??”

@smoshdramaqueen: “I’m not okay. I feel like I just found out my best friend got married and didn’t invite me even though I live in their phone.”

Some fans cried. Some made fan edits. Some were dangerously close to organizing a digital reception with a shared Spotify playlist titled “Songs They Definitely Slow Danced To in Vegas”.

The internet was losing its collective mind.

And back at the Smosh Studio?

None of the team had noticed. Not yet.

But the group chat was starting to buzz.

And Courtney Miller was about to open their TikTok For You Page.

Which meant the countdown to total chaos... had officially begun.

It started, as most Smosh-related meltdowns did, in the studio break room.

Courtney was sitting cross-legged on the couch, eating cold leftover pad thai straight from the container. Shayne sat across from them with a LaCroix in one hand and his phone in the other, doom-scrolling with the focus of a man trying to avoid responsibility.

“Did we ever figure out if Damien cheated last video?” Courtney asked, casually twirling noodles with their fork.

“Statistically speaking, yes,” Shayne said, without looking up.

He paused mid-scroll. Blinked.

Then sat up straighter.

“Wait… what the hell is going on in the comments?”

Courtney’s head tilted like a curious golden retriever. “On what?”

“Board AF. People are losing it. Half the comments aren’t even about the game. They’re like... zooming in on hands or something?”

Courtney opened YouTube.

Found the video.

Scrolled.

Froze.

“Is [Y/N] wearing a ring???”“Wait. Spencer has one too. Y’ALL.” “SOFT LAUNCH MARRIAGE DETECTED.”

She blinked. Once. Twice.

Then lunged.

Two taps and she was on TikTok. Their For You Page? A crime scene.

🎥 @chaoswithintent: “Evidence that Y/N and Spencer got married a month ago and thought we wouldn’t notice.”

The video played—slowed-down footage of [Y/N]’s hand on the game table. Zoomed in. Circled. Sparkling. Cut to Spencer adjusting his hoodie, the ring on his finger peeking out for exactly 0.4 seconds.

Courtney shrieked like she’d just seen Bigfoot propose to Mothman.

“OH. MY. GOD.”

“What?” Shayne asked, eyes wide.

“THEY’RE MARRIED!”

Shayne nearly dropped his LaCroix. “WHO’S MARRIED?!”

“Y/N AND SPENCER!”

“WHAT??”

Courtney thrust their phone in his face. “LOOK. ZOOM. FREAK OUT WITH ME.”

He stared at the screen. Watched the edit. Looked like he was trying to compute calculus while on fire.

“No. No. They wouldn’t-” “They DID.” “They’ve only been back for ONE VIDEO.” “AND THEY GOT CAUGHT IN IT.” “THE WEDDING WAS A MONTH AGO???”

A silence fell between them.

Then

“I feel betrayed,” Shayne whispered dramatically. “I thought we were friends.”

Courtney placed a hand over their heart. “I swear to god, if Elvis officiated and we weren’t invited...”

They stared at each other.

Then, at the same time:

“GROUP CHAT. NOW.”

📲 Group Chat: “Smosh Chaos Line 🔥”

Court: EXPLAIN YOURSELVES RIGHT NOW 👀💍👀💍👀💍👀💍👀💍

Shayne: We saw the ring. We saw HIS ring. Y’ALL GOT MARRIED???

Damien: wait WAIT are we yelling?

Amanda: I leave the chat alone for two hours and come back to a full wedding scandal??

Alex T.: I TOLD you they were acting weird. I SAID it.

You and Spencer didn’t even make it past the front door.

One second, you were walking into the Smosh studio like everything was normal—the two of you sipping iced coffee like you hadn’t just become the Internet’s newest married couple overnight.

The next?

Courtney and Shayne were standing in the entryway with the kind of energy usually reserved for dramatic courtroom reveals and surprise baby announcements on soap operas.

Courtney was holding her phone like evidence.

Shayne had a whiteboard that said “EXPLAIN YOURSELVES” in neon pink Expo marker.

“Oh no,” Spencer muttered under his breath.

“Oh YES,” Courtney snapped, marching toward you. “You thought you could soft launch an entire marriage and we wouldn’t notice?!”

“Soft?” Shayne repeated, scandalized. “This wasn’t a soft launch. This was a whispered launch. This was a secret side quest with no map!”

Spencer raised a brow. “Aren’t you the same person who hard-launched your relationship on Instagram.”

“That’s not the point!” Courtney barked. “The point is YOU GOT MARRIED.”

You blinked. “Okay, technically…we got married a month ago.”

“A month,” Shayne repeated, as if that was somehow worse.

“That’s thirty days of keeping the secret,” Courtney added.

“Thirty days of lies. Betrayal. DECEPTION.”

You raised your hands defensively. “We weren’t trying to deceive anyone. We just…didn’t want to make a big deal out of it.”

“Then why did you do it in LAS VEGAS?”

“Because it was cheap,” Spencer said.

“AND ROMANTIC,” you added quickly.

Damien wandered in holding a bag of chips. “So wait. This is real? I thought this was just another weird fan theory.”

Shayne whipped around. “LOOK AT THEIR FACES.”

Courtney waved their phone again. “LOOK AT THE RINGS. LOOK AT THE GLINT.”

Spencer sighed and lifted his left hand.

The ring gleamed under the overhead light.

Courtney made a noise somewhere between a gasp and a victorious war cry.

Alex appeared from the hallway with a clipboard. “So are we filming the Q&A today or tomorrow? Because I’ve already booked the couch, prepped the mics, and made a slideshow titled ‘Love and Lies: A Smosh Games Retrospective’.”

You groaned.

Shayne was still spiraling. “I just… I made so many jokes about you two being married over the years. I didn’t realize I was prophesying.”

Courtney smacked his arm. “We ALL made those jokes. THEY WERE DROPPING HINTS.”

Spencer tilted his head. “Were we?”

You elbowed him. “You literally tweeted ‘marriage is cool if it’s with someone who makes you laugh during dentist appointments.’ Two weeks ago.”

Damien squinted. “Wait. Is that about the time y’all disappeared from the group chat for three days and said you were ‘redecorating a closet’?”

Courtney gasped. “THE CLOSET WAS A METAPHOR?!”

Spencer sighed. “We went to Vegas. We got married. We had tacos. Elvis said we looked like trouble. It was great.”

The room went still.

Courtney blinked. “...You had tacos at your wedding?”

You nodded. “Yeah. Carne asada. And Baja Blast.”

Shayne clutched his chest. “You didn’t even invite me to the Baja Blast wedding?”

Damien snorted. “Alright. This calls for full content chaos. Mic’d up. Fan questions. No script. And we need a post-ceremony reenactment. Shayne’s officiating.”

Matt was already scribbling notes. “We’ll drop it next Friday. ‘Smosh Games Reacts to a Secret Marriage.’ It’ll trend. I want glitter. Maybe a cheap veil.”

Spencer looked at you, then looked around at your friends,these completely unhinged, overreacting, wonderful, weirdos, and sighed with a tiny smile.

“Fine,” he muttered. “But I’m not wearing a tux t-shirt again.”

The camera blinked red. The room buzzed. You could practically taste the drama in the air.

Courtney sat in the center like a talk show host who’d been personally wronged. Shayne flanked her, whiteboard in hand. Damien had cue cards. Amanda and Angela had popcorn. Alex was in the back with a clipboard and a fire extinguisher for "just in case."

You and Spencer?

Sitting on the infamous white couch, holding hands like two kids about to be grilled by divorced parents who teamed up for once.

“Welcome back to the channel, where today we’re confronting two of our coworkers who LIED to us for an ENTIRE MONTH.” Courtney's cheerful but menacing voice started the video.

“That’s right. A whole marriage. Hidden. In PLAIN SIGHT.” Pouting beside his wife was Shayne, fake crying with a box of tissues next to him.

"Let’s begin the trauma bonding," Damien slapped the cards against his lap as his mischievous smile grew.

[ROUND 1 – FAN QUESTIONS]

“@chaoscakes says: ‘Who proposed, and was food involved?’” Courtney read off the first cue card.

“Spencer did. Outside a Taco Bell. At like, 3AM.” You smiled sweetly, remembering it fondly.

“In my defense, it was romantic. And the moon was out.”

Shayne scoffed, “What did you say? ‘Marry me before the nachos get cold?’”

Deadpan Spencer explained “Actually: ‘If I’m gonna do this dumb life thing, I wanna do it with you.’”

Cue the collective 'aww' from the cast and crew behind the camera who had gathered to watch.

Damien read off the next question “Next: ‘Did you elope in Vegas or did you black out and wake up married?’”

"Both." Responding at the same time, a chuckle rippled through the crowd again.

“Look, there was an Elvis impersonator, a vending machine that dispensed White Claw, and we just went with the vibes.” Spencer explained.

Finally, Shayne's turn came, he read the card to himself first and nodded along like he agreed with the question “@bajablastbabes asks: ‘Why didn’t you tell us?!’”

“We wanted something just ours. Quiet. Simple.” You softly explained wanting to let everyone, fans and friends alike, know that it wasn't personal, just a decision to stay in your married bubble for a little longer before having to be swept up in the chaos.

“Also, we knew you’d react like… this.” Spencer gestured to the three, specifically Courtney and Shayne. Damien really was just there for shits and giggles.

"Valid." Courtney shrugged it off.

[ROUND 2 – SMOSH QUESTIONS]

The cameras turned to the group watching them. Amanda stood up, but not before passing the half-eaten popcorn to Angela. “What was your first fight as a married couple?”

“He ordered pineapple on pizza. In front of me. Shamelessly.” And as if remembering that disparging event, you scooted away from him. Spencer gasped, pointing his finger at yo,u “You left the cap off the toothpaste. Again.”

“Divorce is sounding real mutual right now.” Damien chuckled as he looked at the way you both jokingly had your backs turned away from each other.

Next was Ian, who had congratulated you both before the shoot began, “Did you cry during the ceremony?”

"I cried," You admitted going back to your original sitting position.

“I cried harder,” Spencer admitted on camera. You both smiled softly at each other before grabbing each other's hands. The group once again awed at the display.

“You would.” Shayne agreed with his friend, whom he was no longer feeling betrayed by.

Courtney shook her head before sitting up straighter like she was getting ready for something big. You were worried about what she would ask. Nothing too bad, right?

“Okay, final question—do you take each other all over again in front of us, your ridiculous chosen family?”

You both laughed.

But the laughter soon ceased as Shayne pulled out two blindfolds from behind his back. An evil smile was proudly displayed on his face.

They had changed the set. In like, two minutes.

There were streamers duct-taped to the walls. Someone (probably the art department) set up an arch made from unused lighting stands and plastic ivy. A speaker played the Wii Mii Channel theme softly in the background.

Courtney had changed into a faux priest outfit made of a curtain, sunglasses, and righteous vengeance.

“If Elvis could do it, so can I.” Courtney grinned at the camera. Both of you were still stunned by the display.

“I’m your flower boy.” Shayne giggled from behind the camera, throwing cheetos like rose petals as he made his way down the make-shift aisle.

“They grow up so fast.” Damien was putting the tissue box Shayne was previously using as a prop to good use.

You and Spencer stood under the arch, rings still on, grinning helplessly.

“Do you, Spencer Agnew, take Y/N L/N, to be your lawfully wedded co-chaos gremlin, partner in crime, and best friend who tolerates your caffeine habits?” putting on a more 'serious' and 'officiant' voice.

“I do.” His smile brought the stars to shame, you thought.

“And do you, [Y/N], take Spencer, knowing full well he once drank expired soda and said ‘it builds character’?” She looked at you, knowing very well you couldn't take it back even if you wanted to.

With a sigh and a shake of your head, “Unfortunately, yes. I do.”

“Then by the power vested in me by YouTube, a borrowed ring light, and the comments section… I now re-declare you married as hell. You may high-five your husband.”

You and Spencer high-fived. Then kissed anyway.

The team cheered. Confetti poppers went off way too close to your ears. A cake was brought in, shaped like a dice with “You Rolled a Nat 20 on Marriage” written in icing.

The whole cast gathered around the cake, screaming laughing, while Spencer smashes frosting into your face and you try to stab him with a plastic fork. The caption fades in:

“They got married. The internet found out. We made it weird.” #SmoshStyleWedding 💍✨🎲

Bonus Scene:

The day after the video went live, the Smosh YouTube channel was still on fire.

The comments were a mix of screaming, crying, begging to be invited to the real honeymoon, and at least twelve conspiracy theories about what else the cast was hiding.

You woke up in bed, half-buried under a blanket, with your phone buzzing non-stop. Spencer lay beside you, one arm draped lazily across your waist as he scrolled through the chaos.

“I feel like people think the glitter wedding was the real one,” you murmured.

He blinked. “We literally got married by Elvis with a chihuahua in the background. I don’t think anything we do can be taken seriously.”

You snorted. “Should we… I don’t know… post something real? Like a photo?”

Spencer looked at you, head tilted.

Then he grinned.

“Yeah. But I’m doing it my way.”

Everything had been strange between you and Jax lately. Wendy had just had their baby, and unfortunately, Tara was back in Charming, pretending she wasn’t sniffing around SAMCRO just to “bump into” him. On top of that, a warehouse full of guns had gone up in flames, so every Son was on edge. Grayden got grilled hard, which meant so did you. You promised your dad you didn’t burn this one—this time.

Through all the chaos, you and Jax stayed tangled in that same gray area you’d lived in for years, half temptation and half trouble. You saw him differently than most did. Not like Tara, who still saw a golden boy in a kutte, or the croweaters, who would screw a patch if it stood still long enough.

To you, Jax was just Jax. Complicated. Beautiful. Dangerous. You avoided the clubhouse for a while to keep some distance, until that morning. He was there in all his sexy, infuriating glory. The sunlight hit him just right, his white tee stretched across his chest, kutte slung loose, a cigarette dangling between his fingers. He leaned against his bike right outside the clubhouse like sin had a pulse. Everyone buzzed around, prepping for the kickback that night. Bobby was getting out tonight, and Gemma wanted the clubhouse perfect: streamers, lights, food, booze, everything.

Gemma was working you like a mule. You bent over to grab a box from under the table, and when you stood up, Jax’s gaze was already on you. His eyes were sharp, lingering, locked on the small of your back where fresh ink curved against your skin. There was a flicker of something in his expression—heat, want, maybe regret—but he didn’t look away.

Grayden caught it too. “Eyes up, son,” he said with a laugh, just enough edge under it to remind Jax whose daughter you were.

Jax grinned, slow and shameless. He raised his hands in mock surrender, a spark of mischief in his eyes. “All respect, Prez.”

Your dad chuckled and shook his head. “Don’t make me regret trusting you, Teller.”

Jax’s mouth curved into that cocky half-smirk, the one that always managed to mess with your head. He dragged his thumb along his lower lip like it was nothing and walked back out to join the guys for the run. The tension he left behind could have smoked a cigarette. When the roar of Harleys finally faded into the distance, it was down to you, Gemma, and a handful of old ladies to get everything ready for the welcome-home party. 

You went through the motions, but your head wasn’t in it. Your fingers smelled like cleaner, your legs ached from running errands, and boredom buzzed just under your skin. You slipped outside for a joint. The air was warm, the sun dipping low and painting everything in gold. For a moment, it was just you, the quiet, and the soft burn of weed easing the static in your chest. That’s when one of the croweaters wandered up. Pretty enough. Too new to know better.

“Can I get a hit?” she asked.

You passed it over. “Sure.”

She took a slow drag, tilted her head, and asked, “So… whose old lady are you?”

You laughed, sharper than you meant to. You got this question all the time, like your worth only existed in proximity to a patch. “I’m no one’s old lady. My dad’s the president.”

Her eyes went wide. “Oh. Wow.”

“Yeah,” you said, irritation curling tight in your chest. She was killing your vibe. “And before you ask, no, I can’t patch in. Men only.”

She started to stammer something else, but Gemma’s voice sliced through the air. “Come on, sweetheart. I need help inside.”

The croweater followed her orders like a lost puppy. Gemma smirked at you, plucked the joint from your fingers, and said, “I know you like to smoke alone.”

You laughed. “Yeah, but you still steal my weed.”

“Perk of seniority, baby girl.”

By the time you all finished decorating, the sun was long gone, and you were already crossfaded. The crisp night air moved through your hair, heavy with smoke and barbecue, that familiar hum of clubhouse nights wrapping around you like a second skin. Everyone was waiting for the man of the hour. You changed into your favorite cutoff SAMCRO shirt —Jax’s old one, the same one he’d given you after ripping yours clean off years ago. It hung off one shoulder now, paired with bedazzled shorts that caught the light every time you moved.

When the Harleys rolled in, the sound rattled your ribs in the best way. Bobby was first off his bike, grinning wide. Gemma wrapped him in a hug, and you followed right after. Bobby always took hits for the club and never snitched, a pure Son through and through. The party kicked up fast—music blaring, smoke thick in the air, bodies moving together in the dark.

As the night went on, you were busy trying to make a burger when Grayden stumbled over, beer in hand.

“That the trend now?” he asked, eyeing your sparkly shorts. “Bedazzle everything till it blinds a man?”

“Dad, you’re yelling in my ear,” you said, pulling back with a grin. “And yes. Want me to bedazzle your kutte next?”

He barked out a laugh and waved off the idea. “You good?”

“Yeah,” you said, nodding toward his beer. “You might wanna slow down though.”

He was already distracted. Aerosmith had come on. Classic.

You spotted Juice a few feet away, still new and eager, his prospect cut sitting a little too big on his narrow shoulders. He was laughing at something Tig said, eyes bright, still untouched by the weight the patch would one day bring.

“Hey,” you called, crooking a finger at him. “Keep an eye on my old man for me?”

Juice straightened up immediately. “Yeah, of course.”

You leaned in and kissed his cheek—quick, teasing, light. Honestly, they were all too damn cute for their own good. Nearby, you overheard the same croweater who’d bogarted your joint earlier talking to another fresh-faced airhead. They were huddled in the corner near the guys, giggling like middle schoolers and comparing which Son they wanted. Jax. Opie. Tig. Happy. Of course.

You didn’t even try to pretend you weren’t eavesdropping when you barged in.

 “By the way,” you cut in smoothly, “Opie’s got a wife who’ll stab you in the throat. And Jax has herpes. All over. Think every mucus membrane just… covered in sores. Stay away.”

The part about Opie? Absolutely true. Donna didn’t play.  The part about Jax? Pure, strategic slander. He was yours—even if no one could know that. Their faces twisted in disgust, and they scurried off like the rookies they were. There was too much ass shaking, vodka, and weed smoke for you to finish eating, so you slipped into the clubhouse, craving food and quiet. You didn’t notice Jax was hot on your tail.

The rock music was muffled inside, just enough to let your thoughts breathe. You were halfway to tossing your plate when Jax appeared in the doorway, sweaty, grinning, already half-drunk.

“Shots?” he said, sliding one toward you before you could answer.

You took it. “For me, sure. For you? Maybe sit this one out.”

He downed his anyway, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. “What, I can’t celebrate?”

“You can,” you said, leaning back against the counter. “Just maybe without face-planting in the parking lot.”

He stepped closer, close enough for you to smell whiskey, sweat, and the road on him. “How often do we get nights like this?”

You shrugged, the corner of your mouth lifting. “Guess you’re right.”

He smirked. “Croweaters’ve been avoiding me, though. Can’t figure out why," he said, scratching his head.

You couldn’t help the laugh that erupted, a sharp, bubbling sound that made his grin widen.

“Maybe they finally caught on,” you teased.

He tilted his head. “Caught on to what?”

“That you’re trouble,” you said, brushing past him.

He laughed, a low, dangerous rumble that twisted something deep in your stomach. “Guess that makes two of us.”

Before you could throw a comeback, he wrapped an arm around your waist and hoisted you over his shoulder like you weighed nothing. You muffled a startled laugh as he carried you down the hallway, quick and quiet, careful to avoid curious eyes. The door slammed behind him, rattling the posters on his wall. You looked up from your angle when he set you down and froze at the sight of Jax, leather vest slung over his broad shoulders, light hair mussed from the ride back. His gaze trailed over your frayed cutoff SAMCRO shirt, and that slow curl of amusement tugged at his lips.

“You love wearing my clothes, don’t you?” he drawled, voice low and teasing.

You snatched the bottle from his grip, tipped it back in one long pull, then pressed it into his chest. “Stop flattering yourself,” you shot back, eyes blazing.

Jax shrugged off his kutte, the patches whispering as it fell to the floor. He peeled off his T-shirt next, black ink tracing lines across sun-bronzed skin, then tugged at the button of his jeans and stepped out of them. In crisp white boxers and a snug tank top, he looked like trouble with a grin.   

He closed the gap between you in two long strides and guided you toward the unmade bed, sheets tangled around a half-dozen empty beer cans. His hands found your hips, thumbs grazing the waistband of your denim shorts. You swallowed hard as he pulled them down over your thighs the fabric whisking away like a promise you had been waiting on.

When his lips found yours, it was all heat and whiskey, sloppy in the best possible way. You melted into him; you always did. His arms locked you against the mattress, every inch of your body mapped by the rough calluses of his fingers. Your SAMCRO shirt rode up your ribs, leaving the new tattoo on your lower back exposed to the dim lamp light. Jax’s gaze flickered to the black-ink design, and his finger traced each line as though committing it to memory.

“This new?” he murmured, breath warm against your ear.

“Yeah.” You felt his smile in the way his thumb brushed a sensitive spot just above your hip. “You like it?”

A curve appeared at the corner of his mouth. “Yeah. Looks good on you.”

Jax pushed you down on all fours. He swept your shirt up and over your head, tossing it aside, then paused to drink in the arch of your back, the way your hair spilled across the pillow. His hands slid around you again, fingertips brushing over every contour, hollow of your waist, curve of your hip, leaving gooseflesh in their wake. Jax slipped your cheetah print panties off in one smooth motion.

Jax moved, pulling his boxers down, with his tip pressing against you. Slow, teasing, building until you were arching back in need. He let himself ease inside you, a tight, deliberate glide that made your breath hitch. For once, he moved with restraint, savoring each inch, his forearms braced on either side of your head as he watched the rise and fall of your breath.

You trembled beneath him, noises catching in your throat until you ground upward, urging him deeper. He groaned, a low sound that vibrated through both of you.

“You get a little ink and think you can boss people around now?” he teased, voice husky.

You opened your mouth to retort, but his hand clamped on your hip and he pulled all the way out before slamming back in, hard and fast. The air escaped from your lungs. Your nails dug into the mattress as he drove into you, filling the small room with the slick slap of skin and your ragged breaths.

“Fuck, Jax. Yes,” you gasped, head flush against the pillow, every nerve alive and singing.

He leaned forward, covering your ear with hot breath as he rode you through the haze of pleasure you had been craving after weeks of avoidance. He didn’t break rhythm or let up for a second. Each thrust grew harder, then softer, followed by a deep grind that left you clutching the edge of the mattress, your breath broken by ragged moans. He drove into you like he was making up for the weeks you had lost, for every careless word and locked door between the two of you. The sound of your bodies, the sharp slap of skin, and the slick shuffle of sheets filled the dorm, punctuated only by your voice and his grunts of effort.

When you rolled your hips up to meet him, he caught your wrists in one hand, pinning you to the mattress. The helplessness only made you wetter, needier.

“God, you feel so fucking good,” he rasped, his mouth on your back, teeth scraping just shy of bruising. You were past the point of words, clinging to the sheets, nails digging half-moons into his skin. It struck you in some distant, rational part of your mind that this was exactly why you had gone on the pill last year. It had been an act of wild optimism, or maybe a quiet acceptance that eventually you would let yourself fall into bed with him again.

Even as you felt the wet heat spreading inside you, it wasn’t worry you felt, only the dizzy rush of satisfaction, a wild gratitude for every reckless, selfish second.

The pressure built between you, relentless and scorching, every powerful thrust forcing the air from your lungs in desperate, ragged gasps that bounced off the walls in the dimly lit room. You tighten around him, thrusting backward toward your orgasm. Your ears begin to ring, and the sound fades as you sink into the bliss of your release. Your moans were heavenly to Jax and only fueled his feral desire. You felt him twitch inside you. His steady rhythm stuttering for just an instant, and his ruggedly handsome face twisted behind you. Jax's eyes squeezed shut, full lips parted in an unguarded, primal groan as he spilled inside you, muscular hips grinding down until he was completely empty. For a breathless moment, everything was perfectly still, his solid weight anchoring you to the world like gravity itself.

He caught your flushed face between his calloused hands, his lips pressed tenderly over your temple, whispering your name in that gravelly voice as if it could keep you from flying apart at the seams. The entire world tilted dangerously on its axis. He held you there against his heaving chest until the delicious tremors faded, both of you drenched in sweat and the intoxicating aftermath of your reckless, perfect collision.

The moment shattered when Juice's voice cut through the haze, calling your name on the other side of the wooden door. You froze instantly, heart leaping into your throat.

"Shit," you murmured under your breath, breaking free of Jax's strong grasp. Jax sprang up and moved to the door with grace, barely cracking it open so Juice couldn't glimpse you frantically gathering scattered clothes from the floor.

"What's up?" Jax answered, voice impressively steady despite what had just transpired.

Juice's worried voice filtered through: "Hey, Grayden is shirtless and drunkenly doing karaoke to 'Sweet Caroline.' I'm legitimately scared for everyone's eardrums."

You rolled your eyes while wiggling into your shorts, knowing this chaotic scene was inevitable given your father's fondness for tequila and mixing alcohol.

"She's not in here," Jax lied smoothly, leaning his tattooed arm against the doorframe. "Maybe she's on the roof—go check."

After Jax closed the door with a soft click and turned around, his crystal blue eyes gleaming with mischief, he smirked and drawled, “Gotta keep it all in. Can’t be wastin’ premium Teller material.”

You snorted, hastily throwing on your wrinkled shirt, and shot back, “Don’t you already have a kid? Pretty sure the world’s got enough Teller material.”

Just like that, you both slipped back into the well-worn act of being childhood friends. As if he hadn’t just been buried inside you, whispering filthy promises you couldn’t even repeat in your own thoughts.

Juice's roof diversion bought you enough precious time to sneak through the crowd like you were never missing, weaving between leather-clad bodies and hazy cigarette smoke. You emerged into the ruckus to find your dad, wearing nothing but his leather kutte over his bare, tattooed chest, belligerently challenging anyone within earshot to a drinking contest. 

You just shook your head and joined the beautiful chaos, comforted by the knowledge that no one was driving tonight, everyone was whole and safe, even if your family was certifiably insane. Jax sauntered out moments later with his classic stagger, lighting a cigarette with practiced flicks of his silver lighter, deliberately avoiding your gaze like you carried the plague.

Across the lot, Gemma's knowing eyes narrowed suspiciously. She wouldn't tell, but her knowing smirk said she'd figured it all out from Jax's backwards tee and your thoroughly messed-up hair that no amount of finger-combing could fix.

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