studying together happened so often that it became part of both your routines. you would walk to the library after class, and jake would wait for you with a warm pastry and a strawberry matcha as payment for keeping him accountable. you were not afraid of keeping him in check with whatever half-hearted insult you threw his way, or just straight up taking his phone hostage to prevent him from doomscrolling for half the study session. it worked; everything flowed smoothly and jake felt like his intelligence was actually showing in his grades.

unfortunately, by midterm season, jake concluded that he absolutely, 100%, with no shadow of a doubt, would need to find a new study partner.

if he was being honest with himself, no real studying was being done in the bi-weekly sessions he had with his best friend. for the past month, jake had not been able to focus on anything academic. he was too distracted to pay attention to whatever formulas he had to review. studying next to you was almost harder than the stupid (empty) calculus homework laid out in front of him. the amount of times he had forgotten the quotient rule formula after his hand brushed against yours was borderline embarrassing.

jake had truly been trying his hardest not to feel this way. friendships, best friendships at that, were supposed to be completely platonic, he knew that much. that was like, the number one rule of friendships, right? best friends are best friends and nothing else. and people are not supposed to want to hold hands with their best friends. or want to plan little cute dates where they walk his dog and eat ice cream at the park. or wonder how their friend’s lips would feel on their own. these thoughts were not supposed to be in jake’s mind at all! but no matter how hard he willed his nonsensical, illogical feelings to go away, it didn’t work.

he wanted his friendship to go back to normal. to be able to act and feel normal around you. he didn’t want to be spacing out at the library as he thought about how it would feel to intertwine his fingers with yours, or how red your ears would get if he kissed your forehead right then. he didn’t want his heart to beat so fast at how close you were-

“jaeyun,” your stern voice brought him down to earth, “are you even paying attention right now?”

“i mean-”

“this is why you almost failed our last quiz, yunie.”

“shut up!” jake frowned, trying and failing not to blush at the nickname he loved oh so much. “maybe you’re just a shitty tutor.”

you laughed. you laughed as softly as ever. and yes, it was something you did around him all the time (what can he say? he’s hilarious!), but this time it somehow managed to make his stomach flip.

“nah, you’re just a shitty student.” you sighed and erased the problem you had been trying to explain for the third time. “what are you even thinking about? you look out of it.”

“nothing-”

“oh my god,” you gasped, “is it a girl?!”

at your words, jake straightened up. “it’s not.”

“it so is!” you smacked his arm, dropping your pencil and turning your body to give him your full attention. jake could feel his face reddening. “oh! is it yizhuo again? i could totally set you two up-”

“what?! [y/n], no-”

“literally just say the word, because i know she thinks you’re cute, too! who wouldn’t? and-”

“okay, i said she was cute one time-”

“you guys would look super cute together!”

“[y/n].” jake could see the gears turning in your head trying to come up with a master plan on how to set him up with a girl he had zero interest in. “please stop.”

“but-”

“[y/n] just let it go!” he huffed.

“fine!” you rolled your eyes and picked your pencil up. “you’re so rude.”

“and you’re crazy,” jake sighed, relief coursing through his body once your knees were not resting against his thighs anymore, “but i still love you.”

“whatever.” you looked at jake for a split second, quickly shifting your eyes away from him and back to the gigantic textbook laid out in front of you. “so…you don’t like yizhuo.”

“no.” jake huffed. “get back to work.”

“okay, cool…” you started setting up the calculus problem one more time. jake could tell you were chewing the inside of your cheek. he could feel your leg bouncing next to his under the table. were you…nervous all of the sudden? “you don’t…uh, you don’t like anyone else?”

a nervous laugh left jake, averting his eyes to avoid meeting your curious eyes that would no doubt see right through him if he let you look too closely. what the he supposed to say when the “anyone else” in question was you?

“um…no!” jake cleared his throat “no one at all!”

“oh.” you sighed, looking back at the work, fiddling with the corners of your color-coded notebook. “that’s disappointing.”

“what does that even mean-”

“nothing, just get back to the homework, you have formulas to memorize.”

jake frowned and got back to work, trying his best to pay attention to your fourth explanation of a problem he should already have been able to solve by himself. his mind kept wandering back to their bickering. how your ears were just a bit pink when you asked him about yizhuo. how you had seemed so disappointed to here his affections were supposedly not directed towards anyone else. jake thought that maybe, just maybe, you liked him back. maybe you also struggled to keep his composure when he smiled a little too brightly. maybe you were also thinking of holding his hand and kissing after a date in the park.

maybe, maybe, maybe. jake shut down his own thoughts. it would be cruel to give himself false hope. so he decided that he’d never know, because he’d never ask.

to say you were confused was an understatement.

truly, the situation at hand made no sense. there was no way choi beomgyu, the guy that spilt every ingredient for two weeks straight, the guy who confused salt for sugar and ruined an entire batch of strawberry and cream cheese danishes. the guy that could not remember measurement conversions to save his life, and didn’t really understand the difference between heavy cream and regular milk. the guy that somehow thought an egg wash involved soap and water.

there was no way that guy had managed to bake 60 (64, actually, you counted!) beautifully golden, perfectly risen, light and airy vanilla cupcakes by himself.

yet there he was, sprawled out on the staff room couch, hair a mess, apron full of flour and sugar. crusted up batter on his nonslip shoes and a burn on his forearm.

all you could do was stare.

beomgyu was not someone you were very fond of. it was hard to let go of the fact he had lied on his resume when he had applied a month ago. it was hard to not roll your eyes and scoff at every careless mistake. you couldn’t think of him as anything else than this irresponsible, unserious, uncaring guy that was now unfortunately a part of your daily routine. but seeing him here at 6:30 in the morning, clearly not having gone home at all just to make some cupcakes…

yeah. maybe you were wrong. maybe he did care. maybe he wasn’t out to get you, maybe he didn’t want to make your job more stressful than it already was.

you frowned and stared, almost studying his features. the rise and fall of his chest. the pout on his lips, and the occasional sigh. for the first time since you met him, beomgyu looked peaceful. something awfully close to fondness stirred in your chest and made your stomach feel funny. the realization hit you like a ton of bricks.

beomgyu was really, really cute.

fondness quickly turned into panic as you caught your brain entering uncharted territory you did not wish to explore now or ever. your ears were pink when you shook him awake. he mumbled and whined, and you felt relief when whatever warm feeling you were experiencing was replaced by the usual annoyance you reserved for beomgyu and beomgyu only.

“wake up,” you grumbled, “you smell like milk.”

he swatted your hand away and you rolled your eyes. “go away, kai.”

“oh my god, get UP!”

“what the hell.” beomgyu opened one eye, then sat up quickly when he fully looked at you. “wha- y/n?!”

“dude, who else? get up, we need to put ointment on that burn-“

“ARE YOU GIVING THAT HEESEUNG GUY MY JOB?”

you froze, then rolled your eyes. “beomgyu it’s too early for this shit.”

“OKAY, BUT ARE YOU? BECAUSE-“

“stop yelling!” you flicked his forehead to shut him up, and it seemed to work. “and stop yelling about heeseung, he’s just visiting. i’m not giving him your job.”

“oh.” beomgyu stared at you with sleepy eyes. you felt your face heat up and couldn’t tell if it was at the mention of your long term crush, or at beomgyu’s attentive gaze.

“yeah, oh.” you made your way to the cabinet to find the burn ointment you swore by, since burns were a natural, very constant occurrence when owning a place like sugar rush. “let me see that.”

beomgyu was surprisingly…quiet. he watched as you walked back towards him. watched as you gently pulled his arm towards you. watched as you applied the cream on his burn, even though it was probably too late for it to do anything helpful.

“thank you.” he said, voice soft and eyes even softer. a small smile on his pretty face.

“yeah, whatever.” you mumbled, trying your hardest to not make the exchange a moment. “thank you, uh…for the cupcakes. it really will make my day so much easier.”

“oh, that? pft,” he gave a dismissive wave of his hand, shifting in his seat, trying to appear cool (and failing) “no biggie.”

“…it took you hours, huh?”

“oh my god it took SO fucking long!”

the admission made you giggle. you listened to him rant about his night at the bakery. about how he remembers all your tips and tweaks. about how he burnt the first batch and realized he messed up the oven settings. all the effort he had put in, just to make today run a bit smoother. the irritating warmth in your chest came back as he spoke, his words speeding up and his arms waving around to emphasize the trials and tribulations he went through for a batch of cupcakes.

your phone buzzed, making you stop listening for a second.

(7:13am) hot girl meg 😝: everything ok?

(7:14am) hot girl meg 😝: did u figure it out?

“oh shit, i lost track of time! um-“ you stood up frantically, texting your best friend something along the lines of ‘yes, all good! dw’ “go home.”

“are you sure?” beomgyu stood with you, following you to the kitchen. “i can stay and help, i’ll just make some coffee.”

“i’m sure! you barely slept, i feel bad.”

“okay, but i can stay for a bit and help out with the morning prep-“

“beomgyu,” you turned to face him, arms full of croissant trays and a genuine, real smile on your face “you’ve done enough for me today, go rest, yeah? i’ll see you tomorrow.”

“but-“

“go HOME!”

“okay, yes ma’am!”