#jake sim fluff

It all began when you were five years old. It was a Saturday, yet you couldn’t relax at all. Your kitten had run away into an alleyway, and you couldn’t seem to find her anywhere. By the time your parents and your brother put up missing poster signs, you had given up hope.

“I can’t believe I lost him! I’m the worst, Riki!”

You shed tears, feeling as devastated as a five-year-old could possibly be. The only comfort you found was in the presence of your older brother, Riki.

“It’s okay, y/n. We tried our best.”

Riki replied, hoping it would give you some comfort. That cat had been your emotional support animal since, you first got it. Obviously, you were heartbroken.

“I saw the posters.”

You turned around, not expecting to see a little boy, your age. He had his school uniform on, with fluffy brown hair and deep brown eyes. His hat was close to falling off. You shifted a bit confused, tilting your head. Why did he look so familiar… you could have promised you’ve never seen him in your life? Forget that, why was he speaking to you?

“Did you find him?”

Y/n gasped, finding a sliver of hope in her heart.

“Uh, no”

The little boy replied. He didn’t look sympathetic at all! What was his problem? All you could think about was how much you wanted to hit him. Riki, noticing your expression, began to step in between you and Jake. He knew you had a temper, and would probably make Jake cry. He did not want problems with Jake’s family.

“Come on y/n, calm down. It’s not his fault wonchu went missing.”

Riki said, attempting to calm you down. You still looked upset so Jake held back a smile. What a cruel kid.

When you went back to school, you realized why that boy looked so familiar, he was in your art class! You were upset, not wanting to share art supplies with him.

“Hey give me one.”

Jake called out from behind you. You turned around scowling, even hearing his voice ruined your mood.

“I’m not giving you anything! I only share my crayons with my friends!”

You replied, knowing he would be snobby and annoying about it.

“First of all, what friends? Second of all, those are colored pencils, not crayons.”

Jake said, correcting you. You hated the way he stood, the way he smiled, the way he crossed his arms as if he knew everything in the world.

“I didn’t ask, go away.”

You replied, coloring your drawing with a little more aggression. You couldn’t help but struggle. Your tiny hands were bad at holding the colored pencil way too oversized for you, but you would rather ruin your whole drawing, rather than ask Sim Jake for help. That’s when Jake realized you really were stubborn.

Instead of asking if you needed help, he took it and ran away. You froze for a second before chasing after him. “Sim Jake! Once I catch you, you won’t be able to color for the rest of your life!” You screamed out of rage. This caused the teacher to scold the both of you and let’s just say your parents were NOT happy with you…

Eventually, you did find your cat. Jake was walking behind the school with his best friend, Sunghoon. They both saw wonchu and told your brother, riki, that they found him.

“What, no way!”

y/n said, she had felt miserable not being with wonchu the whole time and couldn’t believe he was back.

“I’m the one who found him.”

Jake said, feeling proud. Y/n ignored him, petting wonchu.

“I’m more of a dog person.”

Jake said a bit louder, confused on why y/n was ignoring him. You still didn’t respond so he did what any kindergartener would do, he nudged you for attention. That was the final straw. You snapped.

“I don’t care jake! If you love dogs so much go get a dog! Leave me and wonchu alone!”

You exclaimed before storming off with wonchu in your arms. Wonchu looked a bit sad to be away from jake and you gasped looking down at your cat.

“Traitor.”

Y/n mumbled, finally far enough away from Jake. You did kind of feel bad for snapping at him but he shouldn’t have nudged you like that… You made a plan to apologize tomorrow and continued to go on with your day.

The next morning, you woke up with a mission which involved kissing your pride goodbye. You had to say sorry to jake.

After getting to school, you went straight to his desk. You plopped down a bag of clementines onto his desk.

“I’m sorry for… yelling. I won’t do it again”

You mumbled, not able to look up at him. Jake smiled looking at the bag on his desk.

“Thanks but I’m allergic”

That was the sentence which made you feel bad for jake that day forward. He wasn’t able to eat the best fruit in the world! You truly felt empathetic for him. He was still annoying though so, maybe it served him right.

You were currently in your physics class, thinking about how time flew. After all the years arguing and ignoring Jake, you had became fond of him in high school. What was going on? This was the guy you had hated for almost a decade, why would you start liking him now? Just as you were about to get up, a thud on your desk stopped you.

“We’re not done with our project yet.”

Oh yeah. Jake and you were project partners in physics.

“Look I really don’t understand this Jake.”

You sighed looking up at him, already about to give up on the project you had just started five minutes ago.

“It’s fine, just focus on the slideshow and I’ll do the hard parts”

He replied being nice (?) for once. You were now even more confused. You thought Jake had hated you! How was he somehow nice to you all of a sudden? Before you could overthink it, you shoved those thoughts out of your head and began on the slideshow.

It was hot that day. You had just completed your part of the project and were planning to lay down, until the doorbell rang. Riki went to go open the door and you hadn’t thought much of it until…

“Y/n, Jake’s here for you.”

Riki said before going to his room. Geez what did that physics genius want now?

“Hey, I brought you some clementines. You know, since you’ve been stressed about the project recently.”

Jake murmured holding out the bag towards you. You had never been more shocked in your life. Sim Jake was giving clementines to you!? His only childhood rival?

“Oh uh thanks”

You replied, trying not to look too shocked as you took the clementines from him. You began to peel one, you were still bad at peeling them, but tried nonetheless.

Jake came inside without asking, he had been close to Riki so, it wasn’t surprising for him to just walk in.

“Okay look. I’m not actually here just to give you those clementines.”

He said before taking a deep breath. It was as if he was working up the nerve to confess to you. Wait… was he!?

“Y/n, I’ve actually liked you for such a long time. I know you probably hate me and I know you hate my stupid attitude so you don’t have to answer but, I have to let you know. I like you. Not as a friend, I really really like you.”

Jake blurted out, his face flushed. Seriously what! How are you supposed to respond to this?

“O-oh Jake I mean I don’t hate you, I just thought you were kind of annoying sometimes! But still! I’ve been thinking the same recently so maybe we could… date?”

You said, just as flustered as Jake was. He suddenly stopped being shy and smirked, pulling you closer. He leaned in, just enough for you to feel his plump lips near yours.

“I’d love to.”

Jake replied, before finally giving you the soft, slow kiss you both had been yearning for.

END

PERM TAGLIST!! : @sstrawbxrry @demiurqe @nota10butadefinite8 @ikeusnupii @minni-mina @yuxriki

Jake had been your boyfriend for almost five months and the apartment still felt half-foreign every time you stepped inside. Six other guys lived there: Sunghoon, Heeseung, Jay, Jungwon, Sunoo and Ni-ki and the place always smelled like a mix of cologne, laundry detergent and whatever takeout someone had forgotten on the counter. Jake was the loudest of them, the one who left his shoes in the middle of the hallway and sang in the shower like the walls weren’t paper-thin. He was also the one who looked at you like you’d hung the moon every single time you walked through the door.

Tonight the apartment was supposed to be empty. Sunghoon and Heeseung had gone to a late screening of some indie film across town. Jay and Jungwon were at the library finishing a group project. Sunoo and Ni-ki had disappeared to a friend’s birthday dinner that was supposed to run until well after midnight. Jake had texted you the second the last roommate left: House to ourselves. Come over. Bring nothing.

You showed up in one of his old jerseys and a pair of shorts that barely covered anything. The second the door clicked shut behind you he was on you, kissing you hard, hands already under the jersey, palms sliding up your bare back.

"Missed you" he murmured against your mouth, voice low and warm. "Missed this."

You didn’t make it past the living room. Jake backed you toward the big sectional, never breaking the kiss, until the backs of your knees hit the cushions and you both went down in a tangle of limbs. He tugged the jersey over your head in one motion and tossed it somewhere behind the couch. Your shorts and underwear followed just as fast. He sat back on his heels for a second just to look at you spread out on the cushions, already flushed, already wet for him.

"Fuck, look at you" he said, almost reverent. Then he was between your thighs, mouth hot and eager.

Jake ate you out like he was starving. Long, messy strokes of his tongue, then tight circles around your clit while two fingers worked inside you, curling just right. You grabbed a fistful of his hair and rolled your hips against his face. He groaned into you, the vibration sending sparks up your spine. When he sucked hard on your clit and crooked his fingers at the same time you came with a sharp cry, thighs shaking around his head.

He didn’t stop until you were twitching and oversensitive. Only then did he sit up, wipe his mouth with the back of his hand and grin at you with that bright, boyish grin that always made your stomach flip.

"Your turn" you managed, still breathless.

You pushed him onto his back and climbed over him, tugging his shirt off and shoving his sweatpants and boxers down just far enough. His cock sprang free, thick and already leaking. You wrapped your hand around him and stroked once, twice, watching his head tip back against the couch cushion. Then you leaned down and took him into your mouth.

Jake cursed under his breath, one hand settling gently in your hair. You took him deep, hollowing your cheeks, tongue working along the underside. He was loud: soft moans and broken little "yes, just like that" and the sound made heat pool low in your belly all over again. You pulled off with a wet pop and crawled up his body, straddling his hips.

"Want you inside me" you whispered.

He didn’t need to be told twice. He lined himself up and you sank down in one smooth motion, both of you exhaling hard at the stretch. For a moment you just sat there, full, forehead pressed to his, breathing each other in. Then you started to move, slow rolls of your hips at first, then deeper, harder, bracing your hands on his chest.

Jake’s hands gripped your waist, helping you bounce. The wet sound of skin meeting skin filled the quiet apartment. Every time you sank down his cock dragged against that perfect spot inside you and your breath hitched. He sat up suddenly, wrapping an arm around your back so he could thrust up into you while you rode him. The new angle was devastating. You came again with your face buried in his neck, muffled cries against his skin, walls fluttering around him.

He flipped you onto your back without pulling out, one of your legs hooked over his shoulder. The change in depth made you gasp. Jake fucked you hard and deep, the couch creaking under the force of it. His eyes never left yours. Sweat slicked both of your bodies. You could feel another orgasm building already, that tight coiling pressure that made your toes curl.

"Gonna come" he panted. "Want it inside?"

"Yes...please..."

He thrust a few more times and then buried himself to the hilt, groaning your name as he spilled deep inside you. The feeling of him pulsing pushed you over the edge again. You clung to him through it, shaking, until the aftershocks faded and he collapsed carefully on top of you, still joined.

For a long minute the only sound was the two of you catching your breath. Jake pressed lazy kisses along your jaw, your cheek, the corner of your mouth. His soft cock slipped out of you and you felt the slow trickle of his cum between your thighs. Neither of you moved to clean up. The blanket that usually lived on the back of the couch was half under you; Jake dragged it over both of your bodies and settled more comfortably between your legs, head resting on your chest.

That was when the front door opened.

Laughter spilled in first: Sunoo’s high and bright, Ni-ki’s lower and amused, followed by the unmistakable shuffle of multiple pairs of shoes.

"I’m telling you the noodles were not worth the wait-"

"Shh, maybe Jake’s asleep."

They walked straight into the living room.

Sunoo saw you first. His eyes went huge. Ni-ki stopped so abruptly Jungwon nearly walked into his back. Behind them Jay, Heeseung and Sunghoon piled in, all of them freezing in a messy cluster by the entryway.

You were still naked under the blanket. Jake was still half on top of you, also naked, the evidence of what you’d just finished doing impossible to hide. The smell of sex hung in the air. A wet spot was visible on the cushion near your hip.

Silence stretched for one horrifying second.

Then Ni-ki made a strangled noise that might have been a laugh. "Oh my god."

Jay clapped a hand over his eyes but peeked through his fingers anyway. "The couch. We sit there. We eat there."

Sunoo’s face was scarlet but he was clearly trying not to smile. "I told you they were loud. I told you."

Heeseung leaned against the wall, arms crossed, looking far too entertained. "Nice form, Jake. Real athletic."

Sunghoon just stared, expression caught somewhere between secondhand embarrassment and reluctant amusement. Jungwon, ever the practical one, immediately started herding people toward the kitchen. "Everyone out. Give them thirty seconds. Now."

Jake finally snapped out of his frozen state. He yanked the blanket higher, covering as much of both of you as possible, and glared over his shoulder. "Get the fuck out of the living room!"

"We’re trying" Jungwon called, already pushing Ni-ki and Sunoo ahead of him. "Some of us still have eyes we want to keep."

Jay was the last to leave the immediate area. He pointed at the couch with pure betrayal on his face. "I’m buying a new one. You’re paying for it. Both of you."

"Deal" Jake said immediately. "Now leave."

Once the worst of the crowd had retreated to the kitchen, where you could still hear muffled snickering and at least one dramatic retelling, Jake helped you sit up. He kept the blanket wrapped tight around you while he located his sweatpants and your jersey. Your shorts and panties were nowhere in sight. You pulled the jersey on and nothing else, it covered enough for the short walk to his room.

The second his bedroom door shut behind you Jake pressed you against it and kissed you hard, half laughing, half mortified.

"I am never living that down" he muttered against your mouth. "Never."

You were still flushed, still a little sticky between the thighs and somehow the adrenaline had only made you want him again. You tugged at the waistband of his sweatpants. "We still have a lock."

Jake’s grin returned, slower this time, darker. "Yeah. We do."

He carried you to the bed. This round was slower, quieter, almost careful, like he was trying to make up for the public disaster by being extra attentive. He laid you down and kissed every inch of skin he could reach: the hollow of your throat, the curve of your breast, the soft inside of your thigh. When he finally slid back inside you it was with a long, deep thrust that made you both sigh. He kept his forehead against yours, eyes open, watching every flicker of pleasure on your face while he fucked you in steady, rolling strokes.

You came softer this time, a long shuddering wave that left you clinging to his shoulders. Jake followed a few thrusts later, burying his face in your neck as he filled you again. Afterward he didn’t pull out right away. He stayed inside you, arms wrapped tight around your back, breathing you in.

From the living room you could hear the distant sounds of a game starting up and the occasional burst of laughter. Someone, probably Sunoo, yelled something about "the couch incident" and someone else told him to shut up.

Jake groaned into your skin. "They’re never going to stop."

You carded your fingers through his hair. "Probably not."

He lifted his head just enough to look at you, eyes soft despite the lingering embarrassment. "Worth it, though."

You smiled. "Definitely worth it."

A little while later hunger won out. You both got properly dressed this time: Jake in actual clothes, you in a pair of his boxers under the jersey and ventured into the kitchen. The second you appeared the teasing started up all over again.

Ni-ki pointed a chip at Jake. "Round two already? We heard the headboard."

Sunoo threw a napkin at him. "Leave them alone. They’re in love."

"Love looks a lot like naked wrestling on my couch" Jay muttered, but he was grinning.

Heeseung just raised his eyebrows and passed Jake a bottle of water. "Hydrate. You’re going to need it if this is becoming a habit."

Sunghoon, leaning against the counter, offered the driest observation of the night. "At least put a towel down next time. For the rest of us."

Jungwon, trying and failing to look stern, just shook his head. "New house rule: sock on the door. Or better yet: text the group chat first."

Jake pulled you into his lap on one of the dining chairs (definitely not the couch) and wrapped his arms around your waist. "Noted. Now can we eat in peace?"

Peace was relative. The teasing continued through the entire meal, but it was the affectionate kind, the kind that said they were never going to let either of you forget this, but they also weren’t actually upset. By the time everyone drifted back to their rooms the worst of the mortification had faded into something almost funny.

Later that night, after the apartment had gone quiet, Jake pulled you back into his bed for a third, much quieter round. This one was slow and sweet, full of whispered I love yous and soft touches. He made love to you like he had all the time in the world, like the earlier disaster had only made him want you more.

When you finally fell asleep tangled together, the last thing you heard was Jake’s soft laugh against your hair and a distant, muffled comment from someone else’s room about "never sitting on that couch again."

You smiled into his chest. Five months in, and things were already unforgettable.

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It all started when you were five years old. Little y/n had been looking for her clementines in her sparkly lunch box. Little did she know little Sim Jake had taken her beloved clementines! “Miss Lee! I can’t find them anywhere!” Little y/n squealed as Miss Lee comforted you. “Come on let’s go check the backpacks sweetie.” Miss Lee said softly as she led you to the backpack cubbies. The clementines weren’t there. You checked your desk. The clementines weren’t there. You even checked the school bathroom, thinking you may have misplaced it. The clementines still weren’t there. Little y/n gave up and ran to the back playground to hide your tears. No one ever went there. No one would bother you. “Y/n?” You looked up immediately wiping your tears as you glared at the little boy across from you. Sim Jake. Your neighbor, your family’s friend’s son, your frenemy. “What do you want Jake.” Y/n asked in the toughest way your five year old self could. “I ate your clementines.” Jake quickly said before turning around to sprint the other direction. “Sim Jaeyun! I hate you!” Little y/n screeched as she chased after him. From the day forward, you had a grudge against Jake.

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Timeskip

You and Jake were both now seniors in high-school. It was the first day of the school year. As you were getting ready for school, you got overwhelmed as your eyelash curler broke. You were trying to fix your school uniform and your hair got stuck in your bra strap. “Y/n! We’re gonna be late loser!” Ni-Ki called from downstairs. “Shut up riki! You’re so annoying!” You yelled back at your younger brother as you fixed yourself heading downstairs. You fell down the stairs and screamed as you saw Jake on the couch. He was amused at your misfortune and you quickly stood up. “What are you doing here!?” You asked in an accusing tone. “Waiting for a ride?” Jake scoffed back rolling his eyes. You glared at Ni-Ki he confirmed that Jake would be riding to school with you guys for the whole week. His parent’s car had broken down and they didn’t have time to fix it for another week. You huffed shoving past them. You went to the kitchen to grab your clementines before walking to the car. Jake huffed. “She’s so annoying.” Ni-Ki rolled his eyes. “Tell me about it.”

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In Class

You turned around to shoot him a glare but Jake just flashed his signature smirk, making you scowl as you turned around. Jay and Sunghoon were presenting their quick slideshow about what they did over the summer as it was the whole class’s “icebreaker”. You dreaded your turn as you got paired up with Jake. He kept messing around and teased you about gaining 5 pounds from eating too many clementines. “Shut up Jake! I didn’t gain weight!” You whisper shouted not wanting to get caught bickering by Mrs. Yoon. Ni-Ki overheard your conversation and rolled his eyes knowing you both fought like kindergarteners

Jake laughed as you attempted to step on his foot ignoring your sulky mood. He was about to retaliate but got interrupted by Mrs. Yoon. “Jake and y/n! You both may present next!” She gleamed in excitement as she saw your awkwardness standing up. Oh how you hated that old lady. “O-over the summer I went to my grandma’s house a lot.” You stated anxiously reading off your note card as your hands trembled. You had never been good with presentations. Jake stepped in with his cheerful demeanor and gave you a smirk as you both sat down. You were already prepared for the teasing. Luckily the bell rang and before Jake could make fun of you, you rushed out the door with your backpack blending in with the swarm of people in the hallway.

You shut your phone off and took a deep breath as you opened your locker. You grabbed your gym clothes and went to the locker room to change. As everyone entered the gym, Mrs. Kang, the p.e teacher paired you and Jake together to do sit ups. “I’m not working with her!” “I’m not working with him!” You both protested in sync. Mrs. Kang gave you both a glare and you immediately got to work. “You’re so annoying! You’re not counting correctly!” Y/n said as Jake mocked her voice turning in the clipboard to Mrs. Kang. The bell rang and you stormed out of the class annoyed already. The first day of school was just a preview of what would happen the whole year.

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A Few Months Later

You don’t know how or when it happened. You had caught feeling for Jake Sim. You even started a diary for him! You both bickered relentlessly but instead of getting upset, you held back a smile. Your family had gone over to Jake’s house to have dinner together. You had to go up to his room with Ni-Ki as your parents talked downstairs. Ni-Ki kept hitting your head to move you aside and you got annoyed hitting his arm. Before he could retaliate, Jake stepped in. Jake always either watched or joined in with the teasing. He never stepped in. Later that night, you wrote about how he defended you. Maybe you were being delusional, but you were starting to think Jake liked you back.

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The Next Morning

You got ready as you quickly put on ni-ki’s hoodie. You walked to Jake’s house as his house was right across the street. You rang the door bell and Jake opened it. You gasped seeing the basket of clementines and immediately hugged him before you could think. Jake froze. “O-oh sorry.” You muttered pulling away. “Um thanks for the clementines. Bye!” You said grabbing the basket trying to quickly walk away. You got stopped as a strong hand grabbed your wrist. “Wait y/n- I like you. Thats why i told you to come over. I’m sorry I’ve been so annoying. I really do like you y/n.” Jake stammered as he rambled more words you forgot to understand. Your heart skipped a beat as you took a deep breath. You felt overwhelmed as you had been dreaming of this day for months.

END

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Bonus! 🫶🏽

“You don’t like Christmas?!”

When Jake Sim confesses this cardinal sin, you can’t wrap your head around the fact that he isn’t particularly fond of your favorite holiday. You nearly spill your cocktail but manage to catch yourself at the last minute. Jake merely shrugs like it’s not something that he really needs to consider. He acts like this season is nothing but another month to be forgotten about.

“It isn’t my thing. I’m not big on fanfare.”

“It’s not fanfare. It’s the snow. It’s the lights and decorations people put on their houses. It’s the cheesy holiday movies that are totally unrealistic but everybody gets their happy ending anyway. And I can’t forget about peppermint mocha.”

Jake laughs. “You really like Christmas that much?”

“She starts buying gifts early.” Heeseung chimes in and puts his elbows on the table, glancing at you and then back to Jake. “Last year, she designed t-shirts and bought a press to make them. The year before that, she made us holiday cards from scratch.”

Jake nods. “Wow, I’m impressed.”

“It’s so much more than being with your friends and family to me. Christmas goes way beyond whatever religious impositions people put on it. But for me, it’s another way of spending time with people I care about. How come you don’t like Christmas?”

He pauses for a moment as if to think about his answer, scratching the back of his neck when he looks at Heeseung. You sincerely hope you’re not putting Jake on the spot if he’d rather not talk about it, and you’re about to rescind your question when he begins talking.

“I don’t know if I have a specific reason. This time of year has never been super important to me and everybody I know is out of town by the time December comes around. I’ve never really spent Christmas with anybody since I moved to Korea, you know?”

“I think I understand. Everybody goes home for the holidays but a plane ticket to Brisbane is too expensive.”

“That’s right. It’s not that I hate Christmas. I’m just alone for most of it.”

That makes you frown. “I’m sorry for bringing Christmas up in the first place.”

“It’s okay,” he says with that charming smile that always makes you quiver in the knees. “I’m a big boy. I can handle it.”

“You remember how we met, right?” Heeseung asks. “We were neighbors at the time and I heard him playing video games on Christmas. I was going to ask him to turn it down, but ended up inviting him to my family’s party when he said he didn’t have any plans.”

“I don’t hate Christmas,” Jake repeats. “I really don’t, I just think there’s so much going on in my life that I don’t think about it until it’s here.”

You lean forward and put both of your elbows on the table. “Maybe you need to see it with a fresh pair of eyes.” He smiles.

“Maybe.”

Jake is your ridiculously hot friend that you met two months ago at Heeseung’s housewarming party. Friend might be a little bit of a stretch, though. The only time you see him is when you’re with Heeseung or your other mutual friends and neither of you talk outside of that. The first time you saw him was inside of their kitchen surrounded by your friends and his hair, which had been light brown at the time, might as well have been glistening under the god-awful overhead light. It was almost as if there was a singular spotlight on Jake and your friends were practically nonexistent when you realized just how attractive your best friend’s roommate actually was.

Heeseung broke you out of your spell to grab the dish from your hands (banana bread and tiramisu, because Heeseung loved former and Sunghoon had threatened to un-invite you to the party if you didn’t make him any, which made no sense because he didn’t live with Heeseung, but you love him anyway). It must’ve felt like an eternity for you to come back to your senses because you were thrown off kilter so much that you had neglected to take your jacket off until Heeseung pried it off of your body.

When he introduced you to Jake for the first time, it felt like thunder bursting in your heart until it challenged the strings keeping you together. You’ve never felt anything like it, least of all with one of Heeseung’s friends, but Jake smiled at you like you were a longtime friend and made room for you in their makeshift circle by the alcohol. Sunghoon’s girlfriend had joined the party just after you arrived and Jake had said you seem like the life of the party when you returned to the conversation, which made you feel incredibly shy because on most days, you’d rather be at home watching a movie in your pajamas. But Heeseung is your best friend and you’ll always show up for him.

You don’t remember what was handed to you, but you remember feeling a little bit more relaxed once you were able to focus on anything other than the ridiculously attractive man standing in front of you. Playing it cool was at the top of your list and you were sure that Heeseung and all of your other friends could hear how you stuttered over your words and how you’d lost all ability to talk like a normal person, but everyone ended up getting too drunk to pay attention to anything other than the conversation at hand, and as the party went on, you started to feel a little more comfortable around Jake.

Would it be weird if you followed Jake on Instagram? You had asked yourself that the day after the housewarming party (after stalking his social media and obsessing over pictures from when he was in Australia, no less), but you decided against it, thinking Heeseung would find it weird if you looked up his roommate on social media. But really, you didn’t want to come off as desperate and give Jake the wrong impression. He was cool and very normal compared to Heeseung’s last roommate, and you didn’t want to scare Jake and make him think Heeseung was friends with creepy girls who liked to stare at hot guys.

Maybe you can’t get Jake out of your head because you’ve been chronically single the last three years and hookups don’t seem to work out in your favor for whatever reason. Heeseung has seen his fair share of nights spent crying over hot pot or sleeping next to you on your couch because a date had gone so poorly that he picked you up as soon as you called him.

But unlike these people, Jake is considerate. He’s the kind of person who will bring you trinkets because it reminded him of you, and when you’d fuss and tell him he didn’t need to spend any money on you, he’d smile and tell you to keep it. He’s never late to group hangouts and he’ll never leave anybody walking behind if the group is big enough for nobody to notice someone has fallen behind. Jake will be the first person to offer up his credit card at dinner and wait patiently for people to pay him back. That’s the kind of person Jake is, and he makes it that much easier to fall in love with him.

When the weekend comes around, you find yourself standing in front of the carnival entrance with your friends and Jake. He’s wearing a brown jacket that makes him look stupidly handsome.

“I want hot chocolate,” Sunghoon says from behind you. “Can we stop there first?”

Jay rolls his eyes and nudges his side. “You’re gonna get a stomach ache if you eat and get on the rides.”

“Not if I drink it really slowly.”

“I hope it burns your tongue.”

“I think we should pay for our tickets and then go inside, hm?” you ask rhetorically.

Jake smiles and nods. “I think that’s a great idea.” He stretches his steps until he’d caught up with you, leaving the other two behind. Heeseung’s already reached the gate and waits impatiently for the rest of you to catch up. Soon enough, the five of you enter the fair grounds and choose to wander around the festival instead of guiding yourselves from a map.

“I haven’t been to a Christmas festival in a long time,” Jake says from beside you with his hands in his pockets. “I think the last time I went was a few years before I moved to Korea. It’s also summer in Australia during December, so it doesn’t feel like Christmas.”

“We go every year. They always say I’m the one forcing them to go, but they always end up having a fun time.” You look to your left and see Sunghoon and Jay arguing about whether or not to stop for candied apples and laugh. “Yeah, they’re a bit of a handful, but they always have fun.”

“Are you the resident Christmas expert?”

“I wouldn’t say I’m an expert, but I’m the one who loves this time of year more than them, for sure. I go all out.”

“Oh yeah? How so?”

“I love decorating my apartment with lights and winter decorations. Elf of the Shelf and things like that, you know? My space is a little too small for a big Christmas tree, but I make do with a small one that sits in the corner of my living room. My coworker’s brother runs a Christmas tree farm and gives me discounts, so it’s a win-win situation for me.”

“Wow, that’s really cool. Do you buy decorations often?”

“I have a lot that my parents used to use when I was younger and I took them with me because they know how much I love it. I try to buy a few things every year so I can spice it up, but I don’t throw away old decor, if that’s what you’re asking. I like when things have a bit of history to them. I like buying one ornament and decorating my tree with the ones I’ve collected in the past. Shiny, brand new things aren’t always the best.”

“I get what you mean, I think. This jacket used to be my brother’s but I stole it before I moved. I used to hate getting his hand-me-downs, but his clothes are the ones I treasure the most.”

“Do you miss Brisbane?”

“All the time,” Jake says with a fond smile. “I miss my family and I miss my dog. I miss this late night convenience store a block from my house because the owner used to give me free snacks from time to time. When I told him I was moving overseas, he gave me a minute to grab anything I wanted, free of charge.”

“That’s so sweet.”

“Australia’s cool and all, but it’s nothing like Seoul.” Jake glances at you and looks back in front of him. “I’m starting to like the colder weather and I love the people I’ve met here. I thought about going back once I graduated from university, but I loved the life I built here.”

“I feel the same way. I mean, I didn’t move from another country or anything, but my family doesn’t live close by. They’re close enough to where I can get to them in a day if I really needed to, but far enough where I can be my own person.”

“Exactly. I love Brisbane and it’ll always be my home, but…Seoul is where I’m supposed to be.”

"You're studying to become a physicist, right?” you ask him.

“Can’t decide if I’m making the right choice by devoting my life to being in school for god knows how long,” he says with a laugh that makes you smile. “But yeah, I want to work in research. Not sure which field yet, but I fell in love with physics during college and I can’t see myself doing anything else. And you want to be a writer, don’t you? I think you said that during the housewarming party, but I can’t remember.” The fact that Jake could remember such a small detail about you warms your heart.

“Mhm,” you mumble, trying to get your blushing cheeks to cool down.

“That’s really cool. What kind of things do you write?”

“TV shows, mostly. I loved TV growing up–still do–but I never saw anything that felt like me, you know? There’s nostalgia and guilty pleasures, but I’ve never watched anything that felt uniquely me. I’ve been writing since I was a kid but started taking it seriously when I was in university, and I’ve been trying to make that into my career ever since.”

“That’s really cool. I’ve never met anybody who wanted to do that. You’re so ambitious.” He looks so cute when he tilts his head and smiles at you. God, you need to get a grip.

“Thank you.” Your reply is a bit shy and the sudden praise makes your cheeks warm. “Life is too short to not even try to reach our dreams, you know? I can’t imagine a world where I’m not writing. I don’t even want to think about what the me of a parallel universe is doing.”

“I’m probably surfing somewhere. It’s summer in Australia right now.”

“Might even have a sun burn.”

Jake laughs. “I do need to get better at remembering to put on sunscreen.”

“Hey, we’re thinking of going on The Zipper,” Heeseung says from beside the both of you. “Does that sound cool to you guys?”

“Are you wishing for a death sentence?!” Jake exclaims a bit louder than he’d like.

“It’s not that bad, bro.” Sunghoon wears a shit eating grin and jabs Heeseung in the ribs. Jake gulps loud enough for you to hear but the other three focus their attention onto you.

“It’s my favorite ride. It’s not as bad as you think.”

“…Okay.”

You miss your friends’ short-lived cheers because you’re too busy trying to hide a smile from Jake when he looks down at you. The two of you manage to catch up with them eventually and follow them to the queue for the ride. You see him looking at the structure and part of you is enamored by the way he’s trying to push his fears down because of you. Jake falls a step behind when you turn around to look at him. He watches the zipcarts tumble over themselves in the air and looks temporarily frozen when you call out his name. Jake doesn’t hear you, and you make the executive decision to grab his wrist and pull him forward. He immediately looks at where your hand is and stumbles on himself as you pull him to stand behind your friends before anybody else could get in between. You drop his wrist when he looks back at you and turn away to hide your blush.

“You don’t have to go on it if you don’t want to.” Sunghoon would argue against you if he’d heard, but he’s too busy talking to Jay and Heeseung to notice.

“I don’t want to be the odd one out. It’s about time I conquer this fear.”

“You don’t want Sunghoon calling you a pussy later, huh?”

Jake grins sheepishly. “That too.”

“It’ll be fine no matter what you choose.”

“I guess I’m nervous about being up there. I’m gonna be thrashing around until my body hits another person.”

“It’s probably less scary if we go in separate carts—”

“Hey, they’re only letting up to three people in a cart,” Heeseung interrupts. “Is it cool if you guys get on your own since the three of us can fit into one?”

“Yeah, she and I can ride together,” Jake replies without missing a beat.

“What? Are you sure? We’re gonna bump into each other and that'll hurt more if we go separately.”

“I’ll be safer with you.”

His comment flusters you more than you’d like to admit. Jake doesn’t make a big deal of it and simply walks beside you until you reach the front of the line. You try not to think too deeply into it either because surely he just wants to be comforted and not because he might actually like you. No, that’s probably not what he meant. The attendant snaps both of you into the machine’s buckles and before you know it, you and Jake are floating through the air and crushing into one another.

His screams make you laugh so hard that you feel like you might be running out of breath. Jake laughs too and you both look at each other the entire time. He tries to tell you that looking at you is much better than staring at the ground far below beneath him, but he doesn’t fare much better than you and laughs until he’s trying to hold back several coughs.

By the time everybody’s back on the ground, you feel dizzy in more ways than one. Jake stepped off of the zipper cart faster than a lightning bolt but waited for you to walk off of the platform to let somebody else in line have a turn. The ride itself distorted your sense of reality and Jake looked like he was about to fall over until he held the edge of the railing and waited until you were next to him to fully exit the ride.

“See, not so bad, right?” You ask, laughing so hard that you can barely finish asking your question.

“Worst ride ever,” he replies with a laugh of his own, “but you helped me through it, so it wasn’t all that bad.”

“You’re just a wuss.”

He gasps and gently shoves your arm. “Am not!”

“Are too!”

“You’re an insane person who loves rollercoasters too much.”

“Oh yeah? And what about it?"

You both catch up with the rest of your friends who fare just as badly as the two of you. Sunghoon’s hunched over himself and you think he might actually throw up if he stands up too quickly.

“Sunghoon’s out of commission for a little bit,” Heeseung explains. “We’re gonna take it easy and look at some shops and maybe get food. Do you guys wanna join?”

“Nah.” Jake waves them off with his hand. “You guys go ahead. We’re gonna go on a few more rides.”

“Should we find a spot to meet up for lunch?”

“My stomach is empty,” Sunghoon announces. “I think I need to eat something or else I’ll throw up for real this time.”

Jake shakes his head. “Go ahead without us. We’ll meet up with you later.”

Nobody makes a fuss as Heeseung and Jay lead Sunghoon to an empty table near a handful of food stalls selling sweet and savory foods. But you’re freaking out on the inside because this is the first time you’ve been alone with Jake. It’s just the two of you walking around the carnival without the company of your other friends, who usually act as a buffer when you’ve become too shy around Jake to say anything that won’t make you sound like a complete idiot. The jacket you’re wearing feels far too warm and you’re hyper aware of the fact that Jake was the one who chose to separate the two of you from the rest of the group.

He did that because he knows you like rollercoasters, right? He probably did it to be nice. Sunghoon can be a bit dramatic when his vertigo kicks in and Jake probably wanted an excuse to stay away if he knew Heeseung and Jay would take care of him. It’s not like the two of you have ever expressed interest in wanting to hang out alone. He’s never given you an indication that you were anything more than just a friend he sees in passing or whenever Heeseung invites you over to their apartment. You’ve both become more friendly as the months have passed by, but it hardly breaches the territory of being anything remotely close to being friends. But, my goodness, you’re so nervous and excited that you almost forget how to walk. Jake waits for you after he’s taken a few steps and notices that you’ve lagged behind.

“Hope you don’t mind that I stole you from them,” Jake says in that casual tone of his that makes you feel like you’re going crazy. “I love them and all, but I’ve been around those three way too much in the past week.”

“Oh, um, not at all!”

“Are you sure? You don’t seem sure.”

“Totally sure.” You nod once for emphasis but Jake quirks an eyebrow at you and, somehow, your mouth runs faster than your brain. “We’ve never hung out just the two of us, have we? I don’t know, sometimes I feel like I’m this awkward mess who can’t say anything right. I’ve known those three long enough to know they’ll say things more idiotic than I ever will. But we’ve never spent time, just us two, you know? ”

Jake laughs. He pushes his head back and laughs in the air like someone’s forcing all of his laughter out of his body and you make a fact because you’re not really sure what he’s laughing at. God, you just feel a little stupid, like you’re overthinking everything. Which you probably are, because Jake hasn’t said anything bad. Yet.

“You’re hilarious, you know that?”

“I’d like to think I’m brave and opening up my heart and soul to someone I haven’t known for very long,” you say as a way of defending yourself. It’s all in good fun when you see Jake stand back to his height and smile at you.

“You’re funny.”

“And you’re funny looking.”

“Resulting to middle school insults, are we?”

“I can turn back around and hang out with our friends,” you threaten with the upturn of your mouth. Jake raises his eyebrow again like he’s challenging you to do it and you stop walking to look back at them. “I can walk away right now and leave you to face the rollercoasters alone.” Jake’s smile morphs from something mischievous to something much softer.

“I was laughing because you are funny. You’re not awkward at all. I’ve always thought you were confident and you always know the right things to say when you’re around people.”

“Really?”

“Really. You have this ability to make people open up and talk about themselves without knowing it.” You look up at him like you’re in disbelief and he must be able to tell because he keeps talking. “Do you remember when we first met at the housewarming party? You fit in with everyone in our group so well and included me into your conversation, even if I had no idea what you were talking about. I felt like we’d been friends for years at that point. I’ve never met anybody who explained a bunch of inside jokes to a stranger. Normal people wouldn’t do that.”

“I guess I’m not normal, then.” He shakes his head and continues walking.

“No, you’re not. But normal’s overrated.”

Jake sees another rollercoaster (a single loop ride) before you can formulate a response. He leads you to the back of the line while you feel like a fish out of water. It seems like you can’t think of anything to say back to him, but Jake looks preoccupied with weaving his way through the people around you, so you shut your mouth and follow him.

This line is a bit longer than the one for the previous ride. Part of you is quite nervous to be standing alone with Jake because he’s this incredibly good-looking guy who happens to be someone you’re friends with, and because, well, it’s been a while since you’ve felt this way about someone. First dates and casual hookups are a thing of the past because they’ve always left you feeling dissatisfied and incomplete. Jake checks off all of your boxes in ways that scare you half to death. Maybe you’re projecting your own qualities and standards onto him because he’s the first guy that’s actually managed to make you feel something in the last year or so.

“I can do this rollercoaster,” Jake says from beside you. “I think the other one was too much.”

“I told you it was okay to back out.”

He disagrees. “I conquered one fear today and got to make a new memory with you. Totally worth it.”

Damn Jake and his nonchalance. How he makes sentimental words seem so casual is something beyond what you can comprehend.

“So, Christmas.”

“Christmas.”

“Would it be too deep to ask you why you love it so much?” He asks. “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to. Heeseung’s talked about it so much in the past few weeks and I guess I’m just a little curious.”

“It’s not really about the holiday itself. It’s way more than that to me. I love that the sky gets darker just a little bit earlier. As much as I love summer, I get really excited when the weather gets colder and when I can see the trees start to lose their leaves. It’s like I’m preparing for hibernation, even though that’s kind of silly and humans don’t hibernate. I feel like I’m physically and emotionally slowing down. Sometimes I think about how nothing really matters. The year is gonna end one way or another and I might as well enjoy it.

“Everything feels so much more beautiful to me. I love the lights and the fact that people put up decorations in their lawns. I love seeing my apartment become more festive with decor and other things that remind me of winter. The food people make during Christmas is fucking delicious, too. Nobody cares about counting calories or anything like that because everything looks way too enticing to give a shit about being ‘perfect,’ you know?”

You barely notice it, but Jake guides you in the line as he’s listening to you speak.

“And don’t even get me started about Christmas movies. They’re awful, Jake. Like borderline dogshit, awful.”

“If they’re so awful, why do you watch them?”

“Becuase they’re so funny. All of them follow some kind of plot–a small town waitress down on her luck meets a crowned prince and doesn’t realize who he is or that same small town waitress finds out she’s the heir to a small European country nobody’s ever heard of–and they’re all the same. Maybe some things are different, but the meat and bones of these movies all have the same meaning. And they all have happy endings. Everybody’s happy and justice is served.”

You laugh as if recalling a distant memory. “My mom and I used to watch them all the time as kids. She’d let me stay up late on the weekends and we’d laugh about how ridiculous everybody was. It was our form of spending time together. She’s a single mom, you know, so time with her was always scarce. I think I loved these movies so much because I got to watch her laugh instead of worrying about bills. She always worked on Christmas, too, so I’d have a marathon by myself with popcorn and peppermint bark. Watching these shitty movies takes me back to when everything felt so simple.”

“I get it, I think. Escapism is really enticing. I think about all the things that make me feel a little better about reality,” says Jake.

“Exactly! You get it. I don’t know, I wasn’t the happiest kid because there was a lot of uncertainty about stuff. It was just my mom and I, and I love her so much, but sometimes it feels like I had to grow up because of our circumstances. It wasn’t her fault, though, and I know that. I was a huge introvert when I was a kid and it was hard for me to make friends because I was so shy and probably a little too grumpy.”

“You don’t seem shy to me. I always thought you were pretty confident and talkative.”

“I guess I got so comfortable overcompensating to push my shyness away that I started getting better at making friends. Heeseung and I met in college. We sat next to each other in our last year of university and I was kind of awkward at first because he wouldn’t stop talking. My God, if he saw me on campus, he’d join me for lunch or walk with me until we needed to go in separate directions. I started talking with him more and the rest is quite literally history.”

“You two never…dated, right?”

You shake your head. “Oh, absolutely not. Heeseung and I are really close, but we’ve never had any interest in each other. He’s like my brother.”

“Oh, good. Good to know.”

“So anyway, movies were my biggest escape to forget about the bad days. We weren’t the richest, but we’d make do. She baked cookies ahead of time and when Christmas evening came, she and I would eat them until our stomachs got too full. And then moving here with virtually no friends made me feel like I was that small child who was always alone, even if I did have some friends here and there. Looking forward to doing all of these festive things felt like I could disassociate without feeling guilty about it. Pulling myself back to reality didn’t hit me as hard because I could always slip back into the fantasy and pretend everything’s alright. Like nothing bad can touch me.”

You come to your senses when you don’t hear much from Jake. He’s been silent beside you for the entire conversation and looking him in the eye makes you want to curl in on yourself. Jake doesn’t say anything right away and you’re silently begging him to. Did you talk too much? Did you overshare? Was he just being polite when he said nothing was off limits?

“You have a profound way of looking at the world.”

You nearly choke.

“People look at us and think we’ve got everything figured out just because we look like we’re doing well for ourselves. But they don’t see what we’ve overcome and how much effort it took us to get here, do they?”

You shake your head. “No, I suppose they don’t.”

“Sometimes I think living in delusion gives us hope. We can imagine what it feels like to have a big family or to live a life without stressing out about the past and try to imagine that for ourselves. I’ve never met anyone who’s thought that way.”

“I’m too scared to depend on people,” you admit. “I think it’s really hard to trust people fully. But I want to and I so badly wish I could be the type of person to trust freely. I think I might be a little too careful with my heart, or something. I’m always waiting for the other shoe to drop.”

“That’s not necessarily a bad thing. Although, I’m sorry about your childhood being rough. I can kind of relate to that. I was born here, actually and my family relocated to Brisbane for my dad’s work and it took me a long time to learn English. Everyone made fun of me for that. I’m pretty sure my classmates were laughing behind my back.”

“I’m sorry, Jake. That’s horrible.”

“Nah, what’s past is past. I can see why Christmas is your favorite holiday now.”

Your other friends text you both in the group chat after the ride. Sunghoon is ready to go on more rollercoasters, but you and Jake decide that it’s time for some food and drinks after he hears your stomach grumbling. You’re more than surprised when Jake tells you he’ll pay for everything, going so far as to snatch your wallet out of his hands so he could hand the cashier his card instead. Jake sees you blushing every single time and never fails to bring it up, making you even more flustered. You give up and he keeps smiling triumphantly.

“Do you want to get something warm and look around the shops?” Jake asks once he’s returned from throwing the dirty plates.

“I could go for something chocolate-y.”

There’s a stall not too far away. Jake orders first and before you’re able to get a word in, he orders a hot peppermint mocha with whipped cream.

“You said you were craving it on the way here,” he explains. Meanwhile, you’re too stunned to answer him.

“I think I’ve made you speechless multiple times today.”

You scoff and look away from him. “You just like being mean to me.”

“Mm, I can’t say that I don’t.” You laugh because this is all so unserious, and because Jake keeps smiling at you like he never wants to look anywhere else.

“I guess opening up to you wasn’t so bad.” A single sip of your peppermint mocha tastes like absolute heaven. “Sorry for dumping a bunch of shit on you.”

“There’s no need to apologize. I’m the one who asked. I like that you don’t see the world in black and white. There’s so much people miss because they’re too narrow-minded. It’s hard for me to find people I actually like because everyone’s either way too shallow or way too contrarian.”

“I wouldn’t say I don’t have any friends, but it’s so hard to find people who aren't pretending to be someone they’re not.”

“I totally get it. Heeseung and everyone else is like a breath of fresh air. My old roommate is one of those social climbing influencer types. Not my speed at all.”

“It’s super rare that I click with people. Heeseung was kind of fast. He was so persistent in the first month and I knew nothing I did could shake him off.”

Jake laughs. “He’s annoying like that, isn’t he?”

“The worst.”

“I’m the same way, too. I’d say I know lots of people but I think I could count my best friends on one hand. I’m not complaining. I just think about how many people I consider an acquaintance.”

“Sometimes it feels hopeless to make new friends when all of them are gonna leave anyway. I don’t remember the last time I felt something click.”

“We’re doing just fine, aren’t we?”

Jake surprises you with that question.

“Yes,” you say in a tone softer than you intended, “we are.”

***

You don’t get to see anybody for the next two weeks because work makes you feel like you’re drowning. Between your full time job and trying to finish everybody’s presents in time, you hardly have the capacity to see your friends. Heeseung and Jake are hosting a Christmas party since most of your group and their significant others are staying in town. And while you pride yourself as somebody who plans and budgets gifts ahead of time, Jake’s present is still unfinished.

A large scarf has been sitting on your couch for two months now. Ever since Jake started complaining about how cold the weather is back in mid-October, you picked up soft yarn in his favorite color and started crocheting him a scarf that you hope looks professional and wearable. You’ve been hunched over the project and turn Netflix on in the background to distract yourself as you crochet.

In the meantime, Jake texts you more often than before. Feeling like you embarrassed yourself by opening up too much was all for nothing because Jake texts you throughout the day and it’s never about anything that’s inherently important. He saw a video on TikTok that reminded him of you? He’d download or screen record the video and send it to you because you refuse to get on that demonic app. He just ate lunch? Jake sends you a picture of the meal beforehand. He stopped by a novelty store to find a present for his cousin who’s visiting town? He texts you a picture of a small hedgehog and Snoopy figurine where they’re both wearing Santa hats and buys it for you.

They’re such small gestures and yet they mean so much.

You haven’t had the time to think about why he’s been reaching out to you more often than not. Work keeps you busy, as does the homemade scarf, but in the back of your mind, you feel as though you’re going crazy when you start to wonder if Jake might feel the same way as you. But that’s crazy, right? How could someone like him be into someone like you? Heeseung always tells you to stop doubting yourself and to be more confident. And you are, to a certain extent, but Jake is the definition of the boy-next-door and you feel like the secondary character who was never meant to be picked.

Even still, Jake makes an effort to call you as you’re winding down for the night and ask you about your day. He tells you that he wants to hear everything with no detail unsaid. You ask him about his day too, and he manages to make a monologue out of everything, even the most minute details. Jake makes you laugh in ways you’ve never laughed before and these phone calls are starting to feel like the two of you have been building a routine. You know that if it were to stop, part of you would feel very empty for a while.

You carry a few bags with presents and Jay helps you put them by the Christmas tree in the corner of the living room. Everybody greets you and you act as secondary host when Heeseung asks for help passing out homemade eggnog. He spikes it with an incredible amount of bourbon and cognac, and even though you pride yourself in holding your liquor, you’re pretty sure you’ll be tipsy by the first drink.

Jake looks so beautiful in dark wash jeans and a t-shirt. It’s hard not to stare at him or the way his hair looks perfectly sat atop of his head. He immediately sought you out once heard your voice from the hallway and hasn’t left your side since you arrived. You can feel his body heat the entire time. Sunghoon and his girlfriend keep making weird faces at you throughout the night and you have half a mind to ask them what their problem is, but Jake always pulls you out of your stupor and back into the conversation.

When everybody is tipsy and barely able to speak without laughing, Jake pulls the entire group together to open the gifts. Heeseung gives an incredibly corny speech about how the meaning of Christmas is love and friendship, and Jay threatens to puke in the bowl of eggnog if he doesn’t stop.

One by one, everybody opens their gifts. There’s a lot of oh’s and ah’s from the collective group because, somehow, everybody has given thoughtful gifts that don’t feel cheap or half assed. Heeseung receives a small scrapbook filled with photos and memories from your friendship with him (he swore he wasn’t crying but you knew better than to believe him). Jay received a custom notebook for him to use for writing songs because he’s been looking for the perfect one. Sunghoon received a month’s worth of new rolls of film. And everyone gets individualized gifts and presents because you love these people more than you love yourself.

When it’s time for Jake to open your present, you’re too anxious to hear the paper ripping. He pulls out your handmade scarf and holds it in front of him to admire the stitching.

“Did you make this?”

“Yes. I crocheted it every day after work for two months, I think?”

“This looks unreal. It’s so beautiful.”

“I didn’t know what to get you at first,” you admit sheepishly. “I know you’re not used to the cold even after all this time, so I wanted to make you something to keep you warm. I’m…also hoping that we'll get to know each other more so I can get you something you’ll really love.”

He puts the scarf in his lap and shakes his head. “This was perfect. I’m so touched that you thought about me. You made this!”

“Fuck, this is so warm,” Sunghoon says, touching the fabric until Jake swats his hand away.

He gives you your gift next and everyone watches you open a small box to reveal a silver charm bracelet with a single Christmas ornament on it. For once, Jake looks like he’s trying not to blush.

“I was trying to think of the perfect gift because I don’t think anything I get you could be enough since you love Christmas, and all. I was with my cousins and thought of you when I saw it. I didn’t know whether I should deck it out in charms but saw the ornament and remembered that you buy a new one every year to add to your collection. I thought you’d like it.”

“Are you kidding?!” you exclaim as Heeseung peers over your shoulder to look at it. “This is perfect, Jake. This is so thoughtful and I’m touched that you remembered.”

The next round of presents comes and goes. Everybody is far too drunk to function, so Jay turns the stereo back on and everybody goes back to talking and stuffing their faces with cookies. It isn’t until Jake asks if he can talk to you in private, and until Heeseung practically forces the two of you into the kitchen that you follow him.

“I haven’t been totally honest with you and it’s been eating me alive,” Jake says as he turns to look at you.

“What do you mean?”

“I’ve been keeping a secret from you for a long time and I think it’s time I come clean. I don’t know if I could live with myself if I kept this up after tonight?”

“Should I be worried?”

He shakes his head. “No, it’s nothing serious, but I don’t like keeping things from you.”

A million thoughts run across your mind. Is he moving away from Korea? Does he have to go back to Australia? Was he lying about liking the scarf you made him?

And, well, nothing quite compares to what he tells you next.

“I love Christmas,” Jake blurts out. “I love the holidays and I’ve never hated Christmas. I lied because I didn’t know how else to talk to you.”

“I….I don’t understand.”

He rubs the back of his neck and looks at the floor before looking back up to you. “When we first met back at the housewarming party, I felt like the room had slowed down or some cheesy shit like that. I was tongue tied. You looked so beautiful that night and I thought I fucked it all up because I never asked for your number and thought it would be weird to ask Heeseung for it. But he found out I thought you were cute and started dropping hints about how much you love Christmas. I didn’t get what he was trying to say until the time he told you I hated it.”

Jake says it all in one breath and you think he might choke.

“So you lied about liking Christmas because you liked me…?”

“When you say it like that, it seems kind of stupid, doesn’t it?” Jake says with a laugh. “I wanted to get to know you but didn’t know how. Heeseung said it was better this way and kept suggesting I let you try to convince me how great of a holiday it was. It didn’t go according to his plan since we were both busy with work. But he kept trying to separate us from the group at the carnival so I could make a move.”

You choke on your cocktail. “Make a move?”

“I feel like I’m making you uncomfortable," he says quickly, eyes darting around the kitchen. “I’m so sorry for lying to you. I never meant to hurt you, I’m just very awkward around pretty girls.”

“Okay, three things.” Jake closes his mouth and nods. “Firstly, Heeseung is a stupid idiot and you should’ve just asked him for my number. Secondly, you need to learn that trusting him when it comes to romance is never a good idea because his girlfriend is his gaming console.”

“And the third?”

You bite your lip and look away for just a second. Fuck it.

"I think you’re really pretty too.”

Jake opens his mouth, closes it, and repeats this process again.

“You think I’m pretty…”

“Yeah,” you say with a laugh. “So much so that I’ve also had this stupid crush on you since we met.”

“Hey, love birds,” Heeseung interrupts from the threshold of the kitchen. “Look up. Didn’t you notice the mistletoe I put up there?”

When you and Jake look towards the ceiling, a green mistletoe is haphazardly hanging from string taped to the wall above. Your best friend grins at both of you before he disappears around the corner and the only thing left is two heartbeats that, somehow, are starting to beat as one.

“Merry Christmas,” Jake whispers as his eyes flicker down to your lips.

He pushes his mouth against your own softly like he’s testing the waters until he feels you push back. Kissing him feels so right. Jake’s lips feel like an overbearing weight has been lifted off of your shoulders with every push and pull. His hands keep you caged in front of him with his palms on your waist as he moves you until your back hits the counter behind you. Jake’s kiss is nothing short of breathtaking. The wind has been effectively knocked out of your lungs and the world might as well be nonexistent with the way he kisses you.

When he does eventually pull away, Jake pushes his forehead onto your own and intertwines both of his hands with yours as if he’s afraid you’re a figment of his imagination who might slip away if he lets go.

“I’m going to ask you to be my girlfriend tomorrow,” he says as you both catch your breaths.

“Why tomorrow?”

“I’ll let you have Christmas. But the twenty-sixth is all about us. I’m selfish when it comes to you”

Jake gives you a short, sweet kiss while you smile through it.

“Tomorrow it is.”

And when you two walk out hand in hand, everybody smiles.