uno dos tres

I feel like micheal cera never intended to act but ended up in the wrong place at the wrong time and was too awkward to tell them he wasn’t an actor so just filmed stuff anyway and now he’s let it go too far and can’t back out

*eats 1,000 oranges* its fruit i won’t gain weight

birds have contributed nothing to society

#WAIT FOR THE VEGANS TO FIND THIS

has it

last night i went to cvs to buy lube, i was walking around looking for it and this lady came up to me and was like “can i help you find something?” and i’m like “lube” and she was like “no we don’t sell car stuff here” so i was like ummmmmm and she like “oh for like um” and she started to make this jerking off motion and i was just like yes

My mom came in my room today asked me why I got so many tissues in the trash I straight told her I been jerkin more than usual lately.. Wasn’t bouta tell her i was cryin my eyes out sniveling n shit at 5 am bc the lil girl in my anime missed her big sis wedding bc she in a coma

he’s 20 in that movie, so

I feel like taylor swift is the friend at the sleepover that falls asleep 2 hours before everyone else but then you find her up the next morning at 6 am and she’s unloaded your dishwasher fed your dog and is making waffles.

I’ve never seen anything more accurate than this

she got an award for pooping in a pie but when i do it, i get expelled from school