Howel

the pope, or as i like to call him, the hokage of the catholic church

I am whatever the opposite of a speed runner is. I am a game meanderer. I have to look at literally everything. I am overly cautious in every way. I forget to pause and wander away from the game. I take a minimum 7 hours to get through any given level. If you give me a timer I will cry.

*nods like a kingdom hearts character*

*flaps jpeg lips like a kingdom hearts character*

*awkwardly turns around like a kingdom hearts character*

*randomly jumps in place like a kingdom hearts character*

*runs like a kingdom hearts character*

*walks around in circles like a kingdom hearts character*

*stands still, staring at nothing like a kingdom hearts character*

Beautiful addition, thank you

"Christ on a cracker" well actually I think you'll find Christ is the cracker. And also the wine. But you wouldn't know that you fucking protestant heathen

I love how American Christians are so unfamiliar with their own belief system they're making this a joke about jesus being white and not a joke about transubstantiation. I'm not even Christian and I know this.

Today my Advanced Clinical Pathology professor trailed off in the middle of class and said, “If I seem distracted, it’s because last night I was talking with a friend and she asked ‘Who’s that chick in Titanic?’ but all I heard was ‘Chicken Titanic,’ and ever since then I’ve been thinking about a chicken on the bow of the Titanic like Kate Winslet, wings held high. It’s all I can think about.”

so rare and beautiful when the art is exactly the image u saw in your mind

I just saw the world's freshest baby in Panera bread. Like that thing was JUST out of the oven. I've heard of being wet behind the ears but this baby was wet behind the everything. It was still damp.

I don't know which of you needs to hear this but "narc" is not short for "narcissist" when someone calls you a "narc" for snitching they are calling you a "narcotics officer"

technically narc isnt even short for narcotics officer its just cant for Cop, I believe Roma in origin

I read years ago in a book that it was derived from nakk, Romani for nose, as in someone who always has their nose in other people's business

ITS DERIVED FROM "NARCO" AS IN "NARCOTICS" WHAT FUCKING BOOK

Etymology is always doing some shit like this

Convergent evolution.

Linguistic crab

Two entire linguistic traditions have merged to remind you not to be a fuckin narc

they should make a sleep that feels like you’ve slept

Me thinking why a whale (big) would eat krill (small) and then I remembered rice (yum)

so few people appreciate the wisdom I have to offer.........

Ive been employing the east coast version of "let go of what does not serve you" which is something like "well whats this shit doing for me anyway"